Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / The Neuroscience of Affirmations: How to Rewire Your Brain on Purpose
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (01:05) What if the voice in your head is the single most powerful thing shaping your life? And most of us have never once stopped to choose what it says. Here's what I mean your brain is processing 11 million bits of information every single second. Not hour, not day. Every second, 11 million bits. And out of all that, your conscious mind registers about 40. So your brain is already filtering your reality constantly. The question is just whether you're the one deciding what gets through the filter. That is what affirmations are actually about. Not toxic positivity, not lying to yourself, not standing in front of a mirror feeling awkward. It's about deliberately directing one of the most sophisticated filtering systems on the planet. And today I'm going to show you exactly how to do it. So an affirmation is a positive intentional statement that you repeat to yourself to create a new belief pattern or reinforce an existing one. That's the simplest definition. But what's happening underneath it is a lot more fascinating. So let's get a little science-y here. So your brain is constantly running a background program. And in 2020, researchers at Queen's University published a study. In nature communications, where they actually tried to count discrete thoughts for the first time. So their estimate around 6,200 thought worms, they called them per day. That's a real number from real peer-reviewed research. And here's what's important about it: psychologist Roy Baumeister, well-established research on negative bias shows that our brains are wired to give more weight to negative experiences. then positive ones. It's a survival mechanism. So your brain is scanning for threats. It's not cheerleading for you. And to that, the brain's tendency to return to familiar thought patterns through what neuroscientists Call the default mode network. And what you've got is a brain that's running the same loops, mostly tied to negativity On autopilot all day long. So when we talk about affirmations, what we're really talking about is intentionally interrupting that loop, that negativity loop, and replacing it with something that actually serves you. We are literally choosing a new thought on purpose and repeating it until it starts to become the default. And the brain, this is what blew my mind. The brain cannot fully tell the difference between something you are vividly imagining and something that is actually happening in real life. Which means the thoughts you think consistently are shaping your reality, whether you're doing it on purpose or not. Pretty cool, huh? So we might as well do it on purpose. So let me introduce you to the The reticular activating system or the RAS. We're going to call it the RAS from here forward. So it sounds very science-y, but it is so practical once you understand it. So the RAS is a bundle of nerves. This is physiology now, is a bundle of nerves at the base of your brain stem. Its job is to act as a filter for all the information your brain receives. Because remember, you're getting roughly 11 million nerves. Bits of information every single second through your senses. So what you're seeing, what you're hearing, what you're smelling, what you're tasting, what you're touching, all every second. So your conscious mind can only process about 40 to 50 of them. And the RAS, that little bundle of nerves at the base of your brainstem decides what makes it through. And the way it decides. It prioritizes whatever you have told your brain matters most to you. So let me give you a really relatable example. So have you ever started thinking about buying a certain car? Let's say you're gonna buy a white grand Cherokee, and suddenly you start seeing them everywhere, every parking lot, every highway, the carpool lane. Did more white grand Cherokees all of a sudden appear and everyone's buying them now? Of course not. They were always there. But your RAS is now flagging them because you told your brain to. You told your brain, this matters to me. Same thing happens when you're thinking about starting a business. Say you're starting a baking business. Now you're hearing people talking about it at a coffee shop. You're seeing reels about it on Instagram and you're noticing it in conversations that you would have passed right by before. Your brain has tuned its antenna to that frequency. It's not magic. This is neuroscience. And it works exactly the same way with your thoughts and your beliefs. So when you repeat an affirmation consistently, you are essentially handing your RAS a new set of instructions. You are telling your brain, this is what I'm looking for now. Find me evidence that this is true. And your brain, being the incredibly obedient filtering machine that it is, will start surfacing that evidence everywhere. Opportunities you would have missed before. People who can help you, ideas that align with where you're going. Your brain starts connecting dots it couldn't connect before because you finally told it what to look for. And it might take some time and it might take some practice. And you have to start looking for it intentionally. And your brain is going to help you do that. So now want to address the elephant in the room because I know some of you are sitting there thinking, okay, but I've tried affirmations and they felt fake and nothing changed. And I want to talk about why that happens. The most common mistake is writing affirmations that are so far from your current reality that your brain immediately rejects them. So if you've been struggling with money for years and you look in the mirror and you say, I am a millionaire, your brain fires back with a very loud, No, you're not. So that's resistance. And resistance shuts down the whole thing. So the goal is not to lie to yourself. The goal is to write something that is true enough to be believable and aspirational enough to pull you forward. So there's a sweet spot. And finding it is a little bit of an art, but I'm gonna teach ya. So let's start with some examples. So instead of I am wealthy and financially free, try, I am building a healthy relationship with money. And I'm making choices that reflect my financial goals. Do you feel that difference? The second one is reachable. It's what you're doing to actually achieve becoming wealthy and financially free. You're not there yet, but that's what you're working toward. Your brain can nod along with it. And when your brain nods along, the RAS activates and you can actually start noticing the evidence. And here's something that really clicked for me. A great affirmation doesn't just point at the destination. It supports who you're becoming and what you're actively doing to get there. So if your goal is financial freedom, Your affirmation should reflect the habits, the mindset, and the actions that are moving you toward it. Not just the end result, because the end result isn't true yet, but the process you can make that true today. I am someone who looks at my budget every week and makes intentional choices with my money. That's an affirmation you can live right now, and when you live it, the destination gets closer. So want to be really clear about something because this is important. Affirmations are not about pretending. They are not about slapping a positive statement over a reality you haven't dealt with. The most effective affirmations start with honesty. So where am I at really actually right now? What is actually true for me? And then you ask yourself, what is the very next true thing I can say? about where I'm headed. Because if you're in debt and you say I am wealthy, your brain calls it out immediately. But if you say I am someone who is honestly looking at my finances and making better choices every day, that's true. You can stand in it and standing in something true, even if it's uncomfortable, is so much more powerful than performing something you don't believe yet. And then there's one more layer. What if you can't even get to the process statement yet? What if you say I am worthy of love and every part of you pushes back? That's okay. So start even smaller. I am working on believing I'm worthy of love. That is an honest, present tense, powerful statement. It meets you exactly where you are. And your brain can hold it without flinching. We'll talk more about that later in this episode. There's a whole tool for it. But for now Just know, if the full affirmation feels like too big of a leap, you have permission to start one step behind it. Another mistake in writing affirmations is the negative. Your brain does not process negativities the way you think it does. If your affirmation is I am not anxious, what your brain actually hears is anxious. So always, always, always write toward what you want, not away. from what you don't want. I want to give you a framework I created called Reach. It's a checklist for writing affirmations that actually do something. Some ones your brain can grab onto and go to work with. Each letter stands for an essential ingredient. So let's go through them. So R is for real. Your affirmation has to start from where you honestly are. Not a fantasy you don't believe yet. This is the honesty principle that we just talked about. If it doesn't feel even a little bit right or true, your brain is going to reject it before it ever has a chance to take root. Real doesn't mean small, it means honest. E is for expanding. A reach affirmation pulls you one step forward, not the whole distance at once. You're not trying to leap to the top of the ladder in one jump. You're just reaching for the next rung on the ladder. That one step is enough to get your RAS pointed in the right direction and your brain looking for evidence that it's true. A is for active voice. So present tense already in motion. Not I will be confident someday, But I am building confidence. I am showing up. This is what tells your brain, this is happening now. Go find proof. The moment you put it in your future tense, you give your brain permission to wait. Don't wait. Speak it as if it's already in motion because it is. See is proclaimed. First person, your words, your voice. An affirmation is a conversation you are having with yourself. So it has to sound like you. Not a quote you found online, not something that sounds impressive, Claimed means this belongs to you. You wrote it, you own it, you mean it. And the last one is H, which is for heart. This is the one people skip most often. And it's the one that makes the biggest difference. Say it with the actual feeling behind it, not read flatly off a page. Emotion is what amplifies the signal in your brain. When you combine a clear thought with genuine feeling, even just a flicker of it, you fire emotional circuits alongside the cognitive ones. And that combination is exponentially more powerful than words alone. This is why saying affirmations out loud matters. Your whole body gets involved. I want give you a range of examples across different life areas so you can see what reach looks like in practice. for self-worth, I am actively challenging the stories that tell me I am not enough. I am choosing today to treat myself like someone who deserves love and belonging. That's honest. That's doable. And it meets you right where you are without asking you to pretend you've already arrived. All right, let's talk money. I am actively learning to earn, manage, and give with intention. Every financial decision I make is moving me toward the freedom I'm building. That's not just an identity statement, it's a process statement. It honors where you are and points you toward where you're going. And then for health, I am someone who shows up for my body consistently. I make choices every day that build strength, energy, and care. Notice that it's not I am strong and healthy as a destination. It's about the daily choices that get you there. Your brain can grab onto that and get to work. For relationships, here's one. I am becoming someone who shows up openly and honestly in my relationships. I am learning to trust and to be trustworthy. That's active. That's in process. It doesn't require the relationship to already be perfect. It just requires you to be moving toward it. Okay, let's talk work and purpose. This one's great. So I am doing work that matters and I'm good at it. I bring something valuable to every room I walk into. That's a good one. And then last, here's one I really love for those of you who are in a season of becoming and things feel uncertain. I am exactly where I need to be, and I trust the process of my growth. That one's a good little anchor when things are starting to feel messy or kind of sticky. So notice that none of these are asking you to lie to yourself. They are asking you to lean into the truest, most expanded version of what you already are or are actively becoming. I want to come back to the RAS for a second because I think there's something really practical here about how affirmations change what you see in your daily life. When your internal narrative is I'm not good with money, Your RAS is actively filtering your experience through that lens. You notice when you overspend, you notice when things are tight. You notice every piece of evidence that confirms the story. And you miss the moments where you made a smart financial choice because those didn't match the filter. But when you start repeating, I am building a healthy relationship with money, something starts to shift and you start noticing when you're making good choices. You start noticing articles and resources, conversations that align with where you're going. You start tuning in to opportunity instead of lack. It's the same with the white Jeep principle. Your brain finds what you tell it to look for. This is why the people who practice affirmations consistently often describe it as feeling like the world starts to meet them differently. It's not that the world changed. It's that their filter changed. And a different filter services a different reality. I'm not the only one who believes it. Not by a long shot. Some of the most accomplished people in the world have talked openly about the role of affirmations and intentional self-talk in their successes. I'm going to give you a few examples. Oprah Winfrey, love her, has been practicing visualization affirmations for decades. She's described how she used the practice of clearly stating her intentions almost like a declaration to herself and the universe as a consistent part of how she's navigated her career and her life. She talked about how what you focus on expands. That's the RAS in practice. Muhammad Ali famously called himself the greatest before the world. Agreed. He said, I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was. That is the definition of present tense passionate personal affirmation. He was telling his brain who he was before the evidence was fully in, and his brain started finding ways to make it true. Jim Carrey, this one's great, wrote himself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered. when he was broke and barely getting by. He kept it in his wallet, he looked at it, he said it out loud, he visualized it, he combined the affirmation with emotion and repetition, and years later, just before the date written on that check, he received a ten million dollar check for Dumb and Dumber. If you haven't seen that movie, you should watch he has said in multiple interviews that the practice of holding that belief even when nothing in his current reality supported it was foundational. Beyonce has talked about creating an altered ego she called Sasha Fierce, a more confident, powerful version of herself that she would step into before performances. that is affirmation embodied. She wasn't waiting until she felt fearless to perform fearlessly. She told herself a story about who she was and she acted from that story. Okay, last one. Brynne Erickson (18:26) And then there's this neuroscientist and author, Dr. Joe Dispenza, who has done extensive research and writing on the brain's capacity to rewire through intentional thought and emotion. His work shows that when people combine clear mental imagery with emotional states, they begin to change the neural architecture of the brain. That is what consistent affirmation practice done with feelings. Does over time. The brain literally builds new pathways. And here's the thing about all of these people: none of them have evidence when they started. The evidence came after. They just decided to start living as if it was going to happen. And then they took one step, and then another, and another. Belief didn't come first, the action and the belief built each other. That's how it works. You don't wait until you feel ready. You just start and the readiness follows. So here's what I want to say to you directly. you can wait until the circumstances line up, until you feel more ready, until someone gives you permission, or you can start today. Both are a choice. Both are completely valid. But if you have dreams, things you want to change, a version of your life, you keep imagining, the only person who gets to decide to move forward and toward it is you. Nobody else can do that part. Not your coach, not your partner, not even this podcast. You either start or you stay where you are. And either one really is okay, but only one of them gets you somewhere new. And I'll add one more thing because I've lived this personally. Sometimes you start chasing a dream and you realize somewhere along the way that actually I don't want to do what it takes to get there. And when that happens, just let it go. Like seriously. That is not failure. That is information. That is you getting to know yourself better than you did before. Because when you release a dream that isn't actually yours anymore, you free up all the mental and emotional space. And in my experience, something better and more aligned with who I actually am at that moment has a way of showing itself up and filling in that space. Okay, so now you're sold, right? Or at least curious. How do you actually build this into your life in a way that sticks? The single most important factor is frequency. Not duration, but frequency. A quick 30 seconds of genuine present tense affirmation practice twice a day beats one long session on Sunday that you never do again. Consistency is how you build the neural pathway. You are literally practicing a new thought until it becomes the default. So here are some of the best moments to practice based on neuroscience and what I've seen work in practice. So first thing in the morning, the moment you wake up, your brain is in a slightly more suggestible state. The theta brainwave state, which is the same state we're in just before sleep. Your subconscious is more accessible in those first few minutes. Use them before your phone, before the news, before the mental to-do list kicks in. Spend two or three minutes reading or saying your affirmations. You're setting the filter for the whole day, remember? Before bed, same principle applies. Your brain is winding back down into theta. So whatever you put in your mind in the last few minutes before sleep, your brain will process overnight. Make that something intentional. And mirror work, I know it might sound a little awkward at first, but there's actually research behind this. Looking yourself in the eyes. While you say an affirmation creates a kind of neural reinforcement that silent reading doesn't. You don't have to do it forever. Even 30 days of mere affirmations can shift something meaningful. Written affirmations, there's something powerful about writing your affirmations by hand and not typing them. The act of handwriting engages a different part of the brain than typing and creates stronger encoding. Some people write their affirmations in a journal every morning, even just once. Writing it down physically is more powerful than you think. Then the last one, sticky notes, my favorite index cards, kind of old school, but completely if effective. Put your affirmations where you see them, on your bathroom mirror, on your car dashboard, your laptop, as your phone screensaver. Reputation is the mechanism and seeing it matters. So the bottom line on frequency, you want to encounter your affirmations at minimum twice a day and ideally more. Three to five minutes each time is plenty. You're not looking for a long session. You're looking for consistent emotional engaged repetition over time. So earlier I mentioned that if the full affirmation feels like a too big of a leap, you can start one step behind it. So I'm working on believing I am worthy of love. I'm gonna go a little deeper on that because it's actually a named tool. And once you understand it, you'll use it all the time. It's called the bridge statement. And it it's exactly what it sounds like. It's the statement that bridges where you actually are to where you want to go. So instead of leaping straight to I am confident and thriving, you might say, I am open to believing I am confident and thriving, or I am willing to see myself as capable, or more and more I am beginning to trust myself. These land because they're honest, They don't ask your brain to pretend. They just ask it to stay open. And open is enough to get the RAS pointed in the right direction. So think of it as a ladder. You don't have to jump to the top rung. You just have to step onto the next one. Start where you are, reach just a little further, and repeat until it's true. And then reach a little further again. And that is the whole process. Honest, gradual, consistent, and it works. So in closing, your brain is listening to you all day long. The question is, what are you telling it? Because whatever you tell it consistently with feeling on repeat, it believes, it finds evidence for, it builds a life around it. Affirmations are not a magic spell, and they are not a substitute for action, but they are one of the most accessible, well-researched, neuroscience-backed tools for changing the internal narrative that's running your life underneath everything else. And they cost nothing and take minutes. So here's your homework. Write three affirmations this week using the reach system and put them somewhere. You will see them every day. Say them out loud in the morning, say them again at night, do it for seven days and then come back and tell me what shifted. I genuinely believe this practice can change things for you. Not because it's magic. Because your brain is extraordinarily powerful and it's waiting for you to give it better instructions. You've got this. I'll see you in the next one.