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The Cost Of Being Realistic · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Beyond Limits, the podcast designed to unlock your highest potential with powerful strategies, energetic frequencies, and mindset shifts to create a limitless life.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode dives deep into what it really takes to build a life and business beyond the ordinary standard.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Expect unfiltered conversations, tangible takeaways, and mind-blowing insights to shift your reality.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear from Trailblazers who have shattered feelings and know what it means to live beyond limits.
• 0:31
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• 0:34
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• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: More than a podcast, this is your gateway to building a limitless life and business.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Tune into the Beyond Limits podcast and step into all that is possible.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, welcome back to the Beyond Limits Podcast.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Today we are talking about the cost of being realistic.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's not realistic.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Or even the word reasonable.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Be reasonable, that's not reasonable.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: And being realistic is actually so dangerous.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to get into why inside of this episode.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: So if you think about it, children are the farthest thing from realistic.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Children, they imagine, they desire.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: In a child's world, there is no such thing as realistic.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: There is just what they want and they want it now.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: And this makes me laugh.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: We were just hanging out with my two mises, and one of them is almost like three years old or is three now.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: And she's so funny because in her world, if she wants more goldfish, she should get more goldfish now.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: If she wants more cookies, she should get it now.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: If she wants to go in the pool, she should get it now.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then we get told, well, you can't always have what you want.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: We get told life doesn't work like that.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: We get filled with all of these limitations and conditioning that then teaches our brain to think small.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: It teaches your brain to then don't shoot for the stars.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Don't ask for what you want.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Make what you want smaller because what you want, you're probably unlikely to get.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Or one of the famous sayings you may have heard when you were younger, or hopefully you don't say this to your own kids, but you get what you get and you don't get upset.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: How limited, right?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: You're literally programming children who have these beautiful, expansive minds who don't believe in realistic, they don't see anything as limitation.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: If they want ice cream before dinner, there's no limit to them.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: They're just like, no, this is what I want.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yet, slowly over time, since we're little, we get conditioned and conditioned and conditioned.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if we think about the word realistic, right, what does it mean to be realistic?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: It means to be logical.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: It means usually based on something from the past, right?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's not based on what is possible for the future, but normally, oh, this is realistic based on what's happened so far.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is realistic based on what my business has done so far.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: This is realistic based on the family I came from.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is realistic depending on how it was brought up.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, really, when it comes to what's realistic for your nervous system, it is based on the past in terms of what has happened, and then the future in terms of what the nervous system believes is possible and or probable for you.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: But it's a very linear way of thinking, right?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very linear, logical way of thinking.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: And when you're always operating inside of what's realistic, then you end up closing yourself off to magic and miracles.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: You end up closing yourself off to possibilities and things happening.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I think about this with my fiance who's currently sitting off camera.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: The amount of times when we're either looking at places or we're going things, he's like, be realistic, be reasonable.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: I don't live in realistic.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm open to it all.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is important because if you have never seen it, or you have never experienced it, or you don't think for you it's possible based on the past things that have happened, what you're gonna end up doing is you're gonna close off your system to receding more.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing is, is that what is realistic is extremely relative.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Realistic is not actually looking at what's possible, it's looking at the perceived possibility.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: So what happens is in your brain, because of all these past files that it has in your brain in terms of what's happened and what it perceives to be possible, you end up creating these structures or these constructs in your mind.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Let's take the example of a little go, right?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: My niece who learns that you're not allowed to have more snacks before lunch or before dinner.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: She then installs a construct in her mind because, especially when you're young, ages two to seven, your brain is like a sponge.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: She learns I don't get what I want, and I can't have ice cream before dinner or for my main meal.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Then throughout her life, what she's going to learn is I cannot have not only what I want, but I perceive that it's not possible for me to do that.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: So what ends up happening is she might not even try in the future to have ice cream before dinner.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a parent who might be thinking, well, this is smart because something came on key basket.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: But as an adult, what ends up happening is you then learn that that's not possible for you.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so you end up operating in this narrow window.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so the reason realistic becomes so dangerous, right?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: Why there's such a big cost is that realistic is actually very relative.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: What's realistic for one person is relatively not realistic for another.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: It might be realistic for some person to make$10,000 on an ordinary Tuesday for another person, that would be out of this world.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Might be realistic for you to make$20 on a Tuesday in another person, well, that would be below what's realistic for that.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so I want you to really start challenging what you think is realistic and expanding it.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because when your nervous system expands what it thinks is realistic, and this is important because realistic is what your nervous system perceives as normal or most likely, most probable.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: So the beautiful thing is that when you start to expand your definition of realistic, and I don't mean expand your definition just by visualizing or affirming it, I mean actually normalizing a different realistic, a different ordinary Tuesday to your nervous system.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: What's going to happen is it's going to start to allow in more.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of being closed off and contracted, of like, well, that's not going to happen.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's not realistic, you're going to get it.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I've used this example before in a different podcast with the a different topic we were speaking on.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: But it's so funny because you would be shocked how many times you probably do this and you don't even realize it.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think about it when I've been looking at different places.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we're looking at different places now, but I'm also in the past have looked at different places to live with my golden retriever, Akasha.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Every single place I've lived in since I've had her allowed no dogs.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: I said no dogs.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: And Akasha is a golden retriever, so she's not a small dog.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: She's 70 pounds.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: She sheds, so she's not like a hypoallergenic.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so it is not realistic for me to think I get those places.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think that's what I subscribe to?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's not realistic.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: They don't allow that.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: They don't do that.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, well, for me, they will.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: And in previous episodes, we've really spoken about the power in terms of taking your power back from reality and how you observe it.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: So if you haven't listened or watched those episodes, go back in terms of how you observe reality and you can see we're we're building on these episodes because how you observe reality is going to influence how realistic you think it is.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so then you start to expand and you start to be in your power in terms of what is realistic for you.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: So if your nervous system decides, well, it's not realistic for me to make$10,000 on a Tuesday, then it's going to keep that experience outside of you.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because your nervous system allows you to experience what it thinks is realistic and what it thinks is normal.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because the nervous system doesn't like anything that's a threat.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: But something that's realistic is not threatening.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's why your nervous system likes to keep you in realistic.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's why it likes to keep you within the status quo.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: It likes to keep you within this set point, maybe a little warmer, a little cooler, but it's not going to allow you to blow past what's realistic until you get it on board.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So the biggest thing when it comes to realistic that you need to remember is that it's shaped by three things.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: It is shaped by your environment.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: So what you're surrounding yourself with.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right now we are in the beautiful hotel room at the Hazleton Toronto, which is the first time we're staying there.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it has the most beautiful dark greeny black marble bathroom.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: So the reason why I booked it, I was like, this bathroom, I need to take a bath here.
• 9:48
  unknown: Right.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: So it's shaped by your environment.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: So the places you put yourself in, the conversations you're having, it's shaped by your reference points.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: So if your reference points, which are the things outside of you, the people you surround yourself with, can be a reference point as well.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Where how you grew up, right?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's a reference point.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's anything you source your identity from.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: So if you are, if you grew up, perhaps you didn't have a lot of money or didn't make a lot of money.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: Your reference points or your identity in terms of what's realistic is well, this is the ballpark of what's realistic because that's the most familiar to me.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: So we have environment, we have reference points, and we have the last one, which is what your nervous system has evidence of.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is so important because in order to break that set point, in order to change what is realistic to your nervous system, it unfortunately loves evidence.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Can you for sure, and it's also a muscle to not have the proof, not have the evidence?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: But the more evidence that we can give your nervous system, the faster it's actually going to adapt.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: So remember the filing cabinet I was speaking about earlier in this episode.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: I was speaking, well, has all this past evidence of what has happened, times things have gone wrong, times where maybe you've launched or you've done something or it didn't work out, or this is what happened when you did that thing, then it has all these data points, right?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: All of this evidence, all this stack, like, well, the last time we did that on December 2nd, you know, 2012, it didn't work out.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the last thing you really need to start building evidence from.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why being realistic is such a cost, because if your evidence and the only evidence that you're giving it is what is realistic, you never end up actually expanding your capacity.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: And the funny thing is here is that your nervous system actually doesn't ask if this is possible.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's not the question it's asking.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: The only question is asking is have we survived this before?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's why it it limits itself.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's the only reason.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's asking, have we survived this before?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is why it's so important to always challenge the nervous system.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you don't start challenging these things, you end up walking around with a conditioning of what's realistic, and you don't realize how much you limit yourself, how much smaller you make yourself, and you don't realize just how good things can actually be because of what you've defined as realistic.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the question you want to be asking yourself of really how to decondition this and dissolve this is this actually unrealistic?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: Or is this just an unfamiliar pattern that my current nervous system doesn't yet have evidence that I have survived?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's the only thing to deconstruct it and to start to expand your nervous system.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually want to go on like a little mini tangent about this because I was watching this YouTube video and I want to talk a little bit about even more the cost of being realistic.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because what ends up happening is yes, you make yourself smaller, but you do it in ways that you don't even realize.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is where sometimes personal development can turn into a little bit of spiritual bypassing.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: So women are taught in general, right?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Be realistic, be humble, don't shoot for the stars, be grateful for what you have.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was watching this YouTube video from this person that I enjoy her content, um, but I enjoy it for reasons that are not nervous system or personal development related.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: I like her gardening and her like sourdough in this and all of that.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: And she was speaking about I basically saying that she should be grateful for what she has and that she doesn't need more.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's very interesting.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, I have enough, I don't need more.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: This is the cost of being realistic.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because you end up making yourself smaller and you end up gaslighting yourself with like, well, I have enough.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I've seen so many women cap themselves at enough.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: I have enough.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Great, but what about more?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need any more.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want more?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so there's so much conditioning on be happy with what you have, and we're gonna get into graduate in a second.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Be happy with what you have, you have enough, I don't need any more.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: Do you see how limiting that is?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: You shouldn't need any more.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: You have enough.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: Did you come here to just have what you need?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: Or did you come here for overflow?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Excess, avalanches, and plethoraas and overflowing amounts of experiences and opportunity and money and connections and love and joy and bliss.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Did you come here for enough?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's really this.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that we're not grateful or that gratitude's a bad thing, or you shouldn't be grateful for what you have.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: But there's this line, and I've watched women cross this between being grateful for what you have and being able to be fully present and experience it, and then shutting themselves off because they have enough and they don't need more.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: But you cannot tell me that more money, more love, more overflow in your hands wouldn't do good for the world.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Whether you use it on your family, whether you start a foundation, whether you donate to a cause, whether you raise chickens, it doesn't matter.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: So many people limit themselves and then they don't experience the level of life that they're actually capable of, because someone they either learned this for someone who was just gaslighting themselves, or they were taught to just be happy with what you have.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is where gratitude can actually become a cage.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: When real mastery is being able to have one foot in gratitude, one foot in desire, grateful for what you have, being able to experience the pleasure of looking at a tree.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: The thing is, I can look at a tree and cry from the beauty and joy of a tree.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm not exaggerating in the slightest.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: This happens many a time, or it'll happen on a walk, and I'm just seeing the birds dripping in, like the hydrangeas in my neighborhood, and that can bring me to tears of joy and gratitude.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, I'm not then cutting myself off from more experiences because I decide, well, this is enough.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because what the universe God saw spirit will do is like, oh, okay, she doesn't want anymore.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna put it somewhere else.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the funny thing is, is that when you shrink your desires, it doesn't actually bring peace to your nervous system.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: It might offer some temporary relief because you no longer feel that tension of wanting something.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I've also seen people do this, and this is why I think she was also this person in this video saying this.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you have desires, maybe they feel really big.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, oh, you know, but I could do this or I could have this.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: The tension of that is so much that it's easier to just deflect and be like, nope, I don't want it.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want it.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, you do want it.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: You're just scared that you want it.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: So then you make your desires smaller because it relieves that tension in your nervous system.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to dive into how all of these little elements, you end up having these tiny little like negotiations that you make with your reality, with what you think is realistic, and how that becomes embedded into your identity.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because the dangerous thing is when you do this repetitively, when it comes to realistic, it becomes part of you.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: It becomes your identity and how your nervous system operates in the world and what you're open to.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Does this mean that, you know, I don't know, you always get, I mean, we got upgraded today, but if you you do you always get the first class upgrade?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily, but if you don't think it's realistic, you don't think it's ever gonna happen, or you think it's too much, then you guaranteed will not, versus if you're open to it.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: So every little that's unrealistic.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's too much.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I should just be grateful.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really need that.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Those are all examples of tie in negotiations, and especially the last one, I don't really need that.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to get really honest of like because I know I've done this in the past and I'm thinking about it.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you tell yourself I don't really need that sometimes because having that desire and not having it feels like such a big gap, and there's so much tension in that and friction in your system that it's easier to say, I don't need it, than to just being it then to be able to sit in the desire of desiring it and not have it yet.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I also want you to pay very much attention to that last one.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the funny thing is, is that any any form of being realistic is actually a form of self-abandonment.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I talk a lot about self-abandonment in my world because we talk a lot about safety in the nervous system.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: And the number one thing to have a safe nervous system is to not self-abandon.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: But you being realistic is actually a form of self-abandonment.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: So even when you say things like, it's fine, this is enough, I don't really care that much, you know, maybe next year I shouldn't want more.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's, you know, it's not a big deal.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: More examples of tiny negotiations.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: Every time you do that, you're actually abandoning the self.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're abandoning your truth, you're abandoning the core desires.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Andor you're creating this limited structure.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe if you ignore everything else, then you don't have to face the fact of what you actually want.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where kind of what I was alluding to before is something that is so tragic, which is people convince themselves that they don't actually want the reality that they want.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not only an abandonment to yourself, but it's also an abandonment to the world.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like the world actually needs you to be less realistic.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: If we think about, I'm gonna use J.K.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Rowling, one of my favorite examples.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think J.K.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Rowling had it on her like bingo card to become a billionaire.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, maybe she did.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: She watched some interviews, see if there's like some interviews about her success.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Had it on her bingo card to become a billionaire.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: Probably wasn't realistic.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: But she did have it no matter how many times she got turned down.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's 14 publishers turned for damn for Harry Potter.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Would not want to be one of those publishers.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: She might have thought, well, this is not realistic, this is not gonna happen.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: I should just, I don't know what her job was before Harry Potter.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do that.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think she actually, I think it was her that wrote Harry Potter as like her last ditch effort.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: And she was, I think, either newly divorced or newly broken up with and like had no money.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty sure I should check my facts, but I'm pretty sure that's from what I remember of her story.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: But the world actually needs you to be unrealistic.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was actually watching some content from Oprah from is it called Cans Lions?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Lions, Cans, the recent like media stuff in the South of France.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: And she was talking about not being realistic and always having this very big vision, no matter how many people told her no, no matter how unprobable it looked like, she just kept it out.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: North Star.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: When you are realistic, you close yourself off.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: You not only abandon yourself, but you abandon all the people that would benefit your family, your loved ones, your the world, the people who are then going to be inspired or have their lives changed because you decided not to be realistic.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: You decided to actually go after what you want.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: You decided that you were going to go be all that you can be.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: You decided there was no limit to how good it could get.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why the cost of being realistic isn't just, oh, it's not realistic to make that much this month or this year.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: It becomes this huge identity where then your entire life ends up being based on what people around you are doing, what it is possible based on your reference points or what your nervous system has experienced so far.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't actually bring forward all of that magic and miracles and possibility that are built in the unseen.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, it could be something as it's not realistic to get a flight upgrade or a hotel upgrade.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So you close yourself off and you don't receive that.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: But if we think about the cost of being realistic and all these micro experiences, it's not just the hotels and the flights and the loves and the friendships.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's also maybe it's not realistic to have a thriving business and a thriving relationship or to be a present mom and make a lot of money.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: And there's so many infinite numbers of combinations, both micro and macro, that when you look at the danger of you being realistic, it ends up depriving you your entire life because it comes embedded in your identity and you close off and all of those things that are already trying to reach you.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I've said this before: there is so much goodness that is trying to flow into your life right now.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: You are just resisting it.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: One of these lenses is what you think is realistic.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: So the universe, God's spirit, is gonna go and bring it to the person who whose definition of realistic, because realistic is relative, is more broad.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna give it to the person who is open to the infinite possibility.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be go to the person who is maybe not even just open to the infinite possibility, but is like, nope, but this is inevitable.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how, I don't know when, I don't know how it's gonna happen, where it's gonna happen, how it's gonna unfold, but I know it is inevitable, right?
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's certainty around that, there's conviction, it's gonna go to that person.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: That is the place things are going to flood to.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is why one of the greatest acts of courage you can have is not just yes, having faith in the unseen and you know, believing it before you see it and all of that.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: But it's actually actively rewiring and repatterning on a micro and macro level what your nervous system believes is realistic and always, always shifting that.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: I gave this example in a previous podcast episode when I spoke about the mastermind I was in years ago.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was 2020, maybe one.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea that people were making 100k months online.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that was I'm I remember my jaw was on the floor when this person, the mastermind, was like, yep, I just did another 100k month.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: My scope of what was realistic was expanded in that moment.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: This is also why I'm a big fan of surrounding myself with people who think broad.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you surround yourself of people whose realistic is smaller when it comes to what they allowed themselves to have, or money, or relationships.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, actually, one of my private clients has been asking me a lot of questions about my relationship and what it was like when Kurt and I first met.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: And well, we'll I'll actually go into the story because I think it's important to also give non-business examples.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: People were telling you that it was not realistic to find a man with all the criteria I have.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: But there's no way that's realistic.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's you're not going to find any guy who has all of that.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, don't you know it?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: We did.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: They told me, oh, you can't find someone who's good looking and also, well, I want some taller than me, taller than me, who also is going to care about your health, who also is good at photography and video and will be able to shoot everything.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and had flexibility with work and didn't work uh nine to five and could travel with me or do things with me in the middle of the day whenever I wanted.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: And what other bed here I have?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, obviously, this I don't want some smokes or anything like that.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: There was a list checks off every single what for most people, well, that's not realistic.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: But in my definition, it was.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: To my system, it was not only realistic, it was inevitable.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I was saying in the beginning of the episode realistic is relative.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't only want you to think about this when it comes to business and money, though that's great.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to think about your relationships, your friendships, uh, family dynamics, your your health.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: I remember back when I was doing a lot of more health coke chain hormones, like women's hormones, digestion, bloating, and all that.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: I had to do so much deconstructing of limitations of the fact that bloating is not normal, PMS isn't normal, all of these things, because they're like, oh, that's not realistic, or that body's not realistic, or being that fit isn't realistic, or being healthy isn't realistic, or all of these things.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, my God, do you see how much like realistic like costs you?
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: What you believe is realistic.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because you will end up living inside the cage of what you believe is realistic.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: This was beyond limits.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so happy you were here for this conversation.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Send this to somebody that you know is being a little bit too realistic.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody you know needs to hear this episode, have a little like kick in the butt of like, dream bigger, dream higher, and I will see you guys in the next episode.