Latest / Fated / We Read Sentient Object and Monster Romances?!
Transcript
- Tay: Welcome to the podcast where your next favorite story is already written in the stars. April: Were your new book besties, April? Tay: And Tay, here to get your book cravings started and satisfied. Because around here it's faded. April: Why? So grab your current read, maybe a cozy drink, and hide your TBR list because today we're reviewing books we read so that you didn't have to. Tay: And what April means is we read books about sentient objects and off-the-wall r monster romances for your listening pleasure. April: Yes. And to preface this episode a little bit, we are not making fun of anybody who enjoys, writes, thrives on sentient object or monster romances. In fact, I myself found that I actually enjoyed one of mine that I read. So no judgment here. We are just here for good times, good vibes, and to bring, you know, some light upon something that maybe you haven't read before. Tay: Yeah, I had a ball. I mean, was it a like you know, noble winning Peace Prize piece of art? ⁓ no. ⁓ but I I did laugh quite a bit. So ⁓ you know, hey, I I give that three stars alone just for enjoying myself. April: Yeah. ⁓ for short, like I was reading these well into the night, cackling to myself, and my husband was like, What are you doing? And I'm like, no, I can't. Like I I have to save this for the podcast, but just no, it's hilarious. Tay: ⁓ I and I cannot wait. You've already told me about the topics of your two and I just I'm stoked. April: Yeah. Yeah. And shout out to Morgan, our friend, who gave us this idea for this episode and even went so far as to assign us our books, We Love You and We Hate You. Tay: Yeah. Yeah, and continuously assigned us books because I w like there was a few where me and April drew a high hard line on the sand and it's hard for us to draw a hard line, but I was literally I was like, I cannot. I was like, I don't know how. And she was like, Okay, why I have another one? I'm like, girlfriend had him in her pocket and she was like ready to give it to us. So hey, we might do this a follow-up episode again if y'all love it. So let us know. April: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, for real. And you know what? Shout out to her because we literally were just saying this last episode that like there's not much that we wouldn't read. And I was like, well, guess what? I found some things that I will not read. Tay: Actually you you actually hit that right on the head. Yep, yep. ⁓ there are some things and we totally we ate our words. We did April: We did. So, okay, my I have to tell you about this book. This is the one that I was dying to talk about because it was hilarious. Like, if you need a book that is just going to make you laugh and say WTF, am I reading? This is the book for you. So it's called Scrub Me Daddy. It's by April Showers. Shout out to April. I'm sure that this is a pen name, but Tay: Lay it on me. April: Hey, we share the same name. ⁓ and honestly, it was pretty well written. This book was like I was expecting to go into these like super grammatical airs and things that would just bother me as a reader, but no, dude, I ate this up. So in this book, it's about this girl and she's just been cheated on by her ex-boyfriend, who's like a total scumbag, and she's going through like the whole depressy, messy episode, right? And she's laying on her couch, I think like in her own filth, like has been eating and covered herself in snacks all night, like super depression mode, right? She's laying on the couch one night, and this commercial comes on the TV, and all I can picture in my head is like all those like early two thousands infomercials coming in trying to sell you something. Well, that's what I'm imagining in my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it comes on and it's for this cleaning sponge. Tay: Yeah, where you wake up 'cause the sound is at first. It's like you're like hearing it like ⁓ April: That is going to change your whole world, okay? And she is, you know, messy, depressy, drunk, calls and orders it, forgets about it the next day. Then her order arrives, and it's this like, it I mean, we all know what this is really referring to. It's like probably looking like a scrub daddy, even though it's not called that. It's called a dubby, which is also hilarious to me. Shows up at her door the next day. Tay: Okay. Dubby. April: It just, I cannot. She gets it out and she's like, Well, maybe I kind of need to clean myself up. Like, I'm kind of gross. Haven't like I think it's like something that she hasn't showered in a few days. Like, disgusting, right? And so she decides she's gonna clean with a sponge because it's just like calling to her. And it comes with this special cleaning soap, okay? This liquid of some sort, okay. And as she Tay: Is is the liquid opaque or is it April: I mean yes. And it's it she starts using this to like clean her dishes and she's like, ooh, I really like this. Tay: Okay. April: Yeah. And so I'm like, ⁓ my god, where is this book going? And it goes exactly where you think it would. That sponge starts to see other places on her body than just her dishes, folks. I no joke, I was laughing so hard reading this book, okay? So she does the dirty with a sponge, which I guess she's probably the reason for some warning labels on some things around our houses, but Tay: ⁓ my god. April: Then this sponge, like, because it's a sentient object romance, suddenly transforms into this Adonis of a man, okay? And it turns out that these sponges are really aliens from and I'm I literally highlighted this so that I could read this correctly, okay? From the planet of Doubleon in the galaxy of Lufahim. Tay: What? April: Okay. Tay: ⁓ no. April: Alien sponges who have come to Earth to clean women's houses and their bodies. Tay: Geez. Scrub me daddy, I guess. April: And she screw up me, Daddy. And she at first is like, this is wild. How is this happening? I am unwell. And I'm like, yes, you are, lady. But she goes on. Obviously, there's like some like running away from him, scared, because this is a strange man who's saying he's my sponge in my house. And I'm like, well, I appreciate that the author recognized that we as readers need to have some. of our belief, you know, kind of suspended in this. And I just can't. This is hilarious, this book. I loved it so much. Hi everybody needs to go read this book if you need a laugh, please. And anyways, so she obviously cannot resist the temptation of this Adonis man who or Donis Man who is fine as all get out. And this is a warning for our listeners, but he has A hot pink tip on his Yeah, that is like very graphically described. Tay: Who April: So I was like, excellent. It is a sponge with a hot pink yes. It was great, honestly. I don't even know what I rated it, but I gave it probably at least three stars. It was it was a great read. He calls her his little bubble. He's like my little bubble. And every single time that he called that her or that, I just had such a good laugh over this book. Like I can see why people read these. If you need something that is just gonna be like, what am I reading? Tay: Your nuts. ⁓ my gosh. But yeah. Yeah. And honestly, for like creativity, the the planet of loofah ⁓ April: I need help. Like these are the books you should read. Yeah, yeah. And then apparently like there's like a whole series, because I looked it up after this because I noticed that it said like book one on it. And I was like, what are you talking about? Book one. And no joke, like Awesome is showering us with all these other books. It is so funny though. I cannot like there's like this whole like weird scene where like he and her ex get in a fight and he really likes like cheesy fries and it is just wild. It is a wild book. Tay: ⁓ my god. It's like Ice Plate of Barbarians, but of ⁓ sh scrub. Josh. ⁓ my god. Was there like a dedication to this book? Was it like dedicated to all my scrub daddies? April: Honestly, I'm sure. Let me. I remember I took a screenshot of it. Hold on, what does say? Okay. The dedication in this book says you deserve an out of this world kind of love. The one written in the stars, and to be endlessly railed by a hot alien sponge. Which is honestly what happens. Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's very much insta-love. Tay: I yeah. I mean, spoiler, I mean I I wanted to know he was an alien yet. April: Insta lust. But I will say there definitely was like a little bit of a romance aspect in this. Like he's genuinely so sweet and kind to her, which is a little bit different than the monster romance that I read that I'll talk about later. But it is a great time. Like honestly, could not recommend enough if you're dating a giggle for sure. Tay: ⁓ that's that was good. Honestly, just may read it just for the fun of it. Just so I'm a that's hilarious. ⁓ well, my book. Okay. I did a it this is once again, our friend picked these books and she happens to love the movie Shrek. So this book is very on theme for that. It is called Get in My Swamp by GM Ferry. Yeah. Get in my swamp. Yeah. April: Yeah. ⁓ for sure. Ha. All I can hear is just like Shrek saying that in my head. Get out of this flop. Yeah. Tay: Literally. That and the book just continues with that theme throughout. So the dedication we'll start off with that. To anyone who feels as if they have as many layers as an onion. It's like, okay, that's nice and deep, you know? Yeah. It also fits with the theme. So I was like, Okay. Now let me set the scene. Okay. Leona. April: All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tay: Cracking up. But yeah, yeah, subtle. Yeah. Leona, our main female character, honestly has to be one of the most hated women on this planet. She is also the strangest person on the planet. We start the book with her at a bachelorette party in the middle of a swamp in the middle of quote unquote bum fuck nowhere, Florida. April: Wow, subtle. I mean Tay: My questions also for that started with How do you have a bachelorette party in a swamp? She kind of plays it off with that they're doing like some like husa retreat where they're, you know, doing yoga and it's supposed to be like calming and they're doing those like I don't remember what it's called, like gong bell sounds and things like that. But like that's where it's set at. So that's where she's having her quote unquote bachelorette party right before she's getting married. April: ⁓ my gosh. Tay: Then she quite literally calls herself a loser who is marrying a rich man. The rich man is the heir of do lock home security empire. Sorry. And also, sorry. Let me let me pronounce that for everybody. Dual lock. Dual lock. Like two locks, but do lock. Welcome to do I was like. April: Do do do Yeah. Tay: Okay, once again, we're hitting we're hitting the subtleness back to Shrek. Next on this list is we meet the fiance's name. His name is Lawrence. He is also very strange. ⁓ it has their last name is like Farquay or something, so like Farquad, but his name is Lawrence. And he has a sister named Victoria, and they have a very weird relationship, so much so that apparently they match everywhere they go. April: Well that's weird. Like Yeah. Tay: So he has to take extra time to dress to match his sister. April: What? Tay: Yeah, I don't know. Victoria is supposed to be Leona's best friend, but all she does is talk crap about her most of the time. So it's like, this is your fiance's sister, and all she is is mean to you, but okay. Now I did say that Leona is one of the most hated women on the planet. And I said she was the strangest because, quote unquote, this is how she also describes herself, besides being a loser, and she says that about herself. She says, I've got huge boobs, porn star lips, and an ass that won't quit, but I'm also come from a shitty hold on. But I'm also poor, come from a shitty family, and have no friends, and my humor isn't for everybody, and I don't seem to know when to stop talking. That was a full like that was one of the biggest run-on sentences, first of all, I've ever seen in my entire life. April: Wow. Wow. They're like commas don't know her, periods don't know her. Tay: But like but like huge boobs, porn star lips, ass that won't quit. But I'm also poor and I have a shitty family. April: Wow, sounds like the start of a fairy tale. Tay: Like, damn, be a little nicer to yourself. Have some dignity. No. It's like, dang, what is happening? Anywho, this part had me dying. So continuing on, another quote about being such a stellar human being is that she said she remembers growing up in a trailer in the Oregon Woods. April: This is not a self confidence book. Tay: And her parents would constantly forget her at the grocery store, school, and friends' houses you name it. I am April: No dead parents, but ⁓ neglectful parents instead. Tay: And then to finish it off with and all of these I quote I like highlighted because I was like, how many times can we de self-defurpate our book in a book? But she did it. The final one that like had me dying was she said, and also people judged me because I wore TJ Maxx leggings instead of Lululemon. And that her childhood was described as a World War Two battlefield. April: That's the leg. Tay: offended 'cause I'm like, I'm the person that'd probably wear the TJ Maxx leggings over the Lululemon. Yeah, shut up. And she's like, ⁓ my God, people used to pick on me. I'm like, girl, shut up. April: Shout out, love them. Yeah. Right, wow. Tay: Shut up. ⁓ so dead. Absolutely dead died. That all of this part had me cackling because I was like, how many times can we talk bad about ourselves? But sure. we're introduced to our main male character who is named Beck Shrek. Beck. Okay, you put the two and two together. ⁓ he's an ogre out in the woods, and he lets us know that he is the only ogre in his community, and that it can be rather lonely and April: Okay. Yep, yep. Tay: Being the only seven foot tall, green, hilarious, and gut wretchingly handsome creature around, but it's the cross he bears. April: Being a an ogre is just so hard. Tay: It's so hard. It's also so being hard being seven foot and so funny and April: So funny. Ladies just love me. Tay: Jesus. So man that is soothing's confidence. So I guess the girl that has none and the guy who has all of it, you know? his biggest thing is he likes to trap people in the wood. So he has like a hole and like these people fall in, but he and he eats humans. So but he does let us know that he's not a monster and he doesn't eat women or children. Yeah. So he eats men. But like April: ⁓ Equals love. ⁓ So he eats men. Tay: Still eats humans, okay. ⁓ he does ⁓ let us know that also he gets cookbooks and other books from Amazon. I I was like question woods that nobody knows where his is, but he gets Amazon delivered. Okay. April: And he just doesn't eat the delivery man, I guess. Amazon's allowed. Tay: Just it was allowed. I was like, Jeff Bezos is thriving even in getting my swamp. So, anywho, ⁓ our main mare ⁓ main female character is out in the woods. She's like, you know, I need some time. She goes, walks out, she falls in a hole, and of course, gets trapped by Beck. And Beck lets her know that he has no intention of killing her. April: Yeah. Tay: But having his way with her, absolutely. April: eat you, but I'm gonna eat you. Tay: Yeah. The other way around. Dead. Dead died. That was too good. So that one had me cackling. Loved it so much. ⁓ the main male character, ⁓ he talks about, you know, that he's being a gentleman, but the only reason ⁓ he's swayed ⁓ is because ⁓ that she has seriously nice tits and that ruins a man's judgment. April: Mm. I mean, probably the realest thing that I've heard from you so far about this book. Tay: So Yeah, yeah. And so this whole time they she's like, no, no, no, I don't want it, but then I do want it because she ends up seeing his like donkey schlong and decides that that's like it for her. Which speaking of Donkey, there's another guy who like is half centaur, half you or he's a centaur, and he ends up attacking her. His name is Donnie. I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be Donkey. But he ends up attacking her and like Beck almost kills him and she's like, No, you almost killed him. Blah, blah, blah. And then she decides to ⁓ so she moves back. She she leaves Beck because he's like, We can't be together. I'm an ogre in the woods, blah. So she goes back to the city, back with Lawrence, and she's out on the town, enjoying her money again, because Lawrence, of course, is rolling in this dough. She has no problem spending the money and being unhappy, but whatever. She's spending all this money. April: No TG Max leggings for her no more. Tay: No no no all the Lululemon. And she comes back to the apartment and she hears some lovemaking going on. She's like, what is happening? Who is in this? Lawrence and his sister. I was like, ⁓ and she's like anything's better than this incestuous relationship. Goodbye. And leaves him. I was like, what? April: His sister who dresses like him too is Tay: Yeah. She then leaves and goes back to Beck and they're together and it says something like the like the literal final line of the book is like, come on, baby, after our shower, let's make some waffles. That's the end of the book. I died. GM fairy, ⁓ you get three stars just for entertaining me the entire time. But also, we're gonna I'm gonna let you know some of her other books that you can partake in. April: ⁓ Snaps for that. No. Tay: You can partake in Romance by the Rat. You can all ⁓ he looks like half man, half rat based on the cover. and then there's also Stepbrother Bear. Like Brother Bear, but April: Is that like a ratatouille one? ⁓ so not even just a step brother romance, he's also a bear. Tay: But I do think it's a spin off of Brotherbeer. April: Wow. They're really into DreamWorks. Tay: So if you really yeah, if you really wanna see some see some spin-off, you know, this might be might be your thing. So I died. I I was cackling the entire time. I was like, how many times can this woman be mean to herself? Like I am just reading this whole book about her being mean. And then like sitting here going like, well, you know, it's hard having big boobs and a nice face, but you know, I'm so dumb. April: ⁓ my gosh. That sounds hilarious. Yeah. I'm so dumb, and I'm so poor. My life is so hard. World War II battlefield was my life. I can't. Tay: TJ TJ Maxx leggings. The part about her parents leaving her multiple places. They left me at school. They left me at the thing. Jesus. ⁓ It was something. Yeah, it was it was something. April: Nobody called CPS. Wow. That's a bit much. Yeah. That's yeah. You know what? Whenever I think of like when you said you were gonna read this book, I don't know, does Morgan have this book? Did she buy this when you guys were shopping? Tay: She did buy this. I am like almost positive that she owns this book. It was the same time we bought you the Veggie Tales book. April: Cause I feel like I saw Yes, yes. And I'm pretty sure I I have that somewhere, by the way. I should have whipped it out for this. Tay: Something by the produce. Something by the produce is what it is. There's the name is in it. ⁓ my gosh. They're like they're like fruit priest. I think they convert they're like priests that turn into fruit and then I don't know. April: Yeah. But Yeah. Yeah, it's wild time. Y'all, this these are great. Like 10 out of 10. If you need a good laugh, these are the books to go to. But I was thinking of the company Cockmark. Now, some people will know them because they're really popular. They're bookmarks and they all look like wieners and different wieners, but they have a Shrek one. And when we were at City Fling, the booth that I was helping work, the author I was helping to work with. Tay: Yeah. Creativity. Through the roof. April: Right across from her was Cockmark. And I was just was looking at it the whole time and I was just thinking about like you having to read this Shrek book. And I'm pretty sure Morgan has an ogre penis bookmark. I think she got it with that book. I feel like I've seen it before. And I just think that's that's such a treasure. Tay: Yeah. Yeah. I ⁓ Morgan, I know you're listening to this on your Thursday commute, so I'm just letting you know ahead of time that I did the hard work for you. Now go read. April: Now go read it. Especially if you need a laugh. Yeah. Okay, so my monster romance, which I want to say, like I have read some really good monster romances. There are some really good ones out there. I've actually been reading some Opal Range. She has some really good ones. Tiffany Roberts has good ones, people like. CM Nascosta has some good ones, but this one is The Temple of the Tentacle Priests by Ava Wilde. And Tay: Yeah. Laugh my ass off. Yes. April: I have some thoughts on this book. I I didn't like when I read the synopsis of this book, it was like in one ear, out the other, like did not compute. I don't even understand what this book is gonna be about. And so I went into it kind of blind, right? And here's the dedication, okay? It says, For the women who found their way to tentacle romance because a creature with three hearts finally seemed proportionate to the love they had to give. And I was like Tay: Okay. April: Kind of a sweet dedication, like you know, ⁓ three hearts, more love. Yeah, I have lots of love to give, okay? And I was like, this this might actually be kind of wholesome because like my my scrub daddy one or scrub me daddy one was pretty wholesome, right? I mean, aside from you know the obvious, but I was like, okay, good, like Morgan scored me another wholesome romance. I'm gonna come with like these bangers to talk about, right? No, this is not wholesome, guys. I felt like I needed to bathe in like some cleansing water. Tay: Mm-hmm. April: after this like literally I was like I don't know what I just read. I have not been able to read another book since reading this one. Fun fact I finished it like over a week ago and I was like I don't even know what this is. Tay: ⁓ my god. You literally interlip reading slump. April: Yeah, literally put me in a reading slope. Do not read it. No, I'm just kidding. I'm sure it's some people's cup of tea. It is not my cup of tea, mostly because I was expecting like wholesome. no. No. So I don't even remember the main girl's name. Doesn't I feel like it's irrelevant, but she is like described as like a sex psychologist. And I just all Things she was doing did not sound very sex psychologist to me. And obviously, you know, I am not one. I am not friends with any sex psychologists, so I really know too much about them. But she was like calling herself like a scientist sometimes through, like a therapist sometimes through. And I was like, wait, what are we? What are we? Like it felt like her job kind of kept changing. But she's in the this world where he there's human world and then there's like this underground monster world with all these different monsters, right? And the book starts out with her literally jacking a human guy off at a like a blind date thing at a table, at a dinner table in the dark. And he like it's like it explicitly describes him coming all over their food and stuff. And I'm like, people have to clean that up, you nasties. Tay: My practicality my practicality in some of those books goes through the roof. I'm like, okay, like there's only so much I can imagine. And that one is one of those ones where I'm like, hey, let's be real, where? April: What Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for real. And then they like describes her like this is a really long book, too. And it like describes her like cleaning it up and the waiter comes by and she's like, ⁓ I need like, you a couple more towels. And I'm like, ⁓ Anyways, sorry. I hope that has never really happened in real life to any waiters. But so it starts off like that. And she's like, ⁓ like I'm not really into like human men, they're all kind of boring. I've been with everybody, you know, I've been with every every single person. I've been with women, men. I want something new. Tay: Trigger. April: I want a monster. And I'm like, all right, girl, get it. Well, then she signs up for this like service that I guess like pairs you with like going down to the monster world and you're kind of like auctioned off to the highest monster bidder, but like you get to pick what monster buys you. And it kind of made me uncomfortable this book a little bit in terms of not even because of the monster thing. Tay: Jeez. April: But the main female character, like whenever she would like see somebody, she would like, ⁓ like, she would like kind of fantasize having like sexual interactions with them. And I was like, ⁓ I kind of don't like that. I kind of like that. Like there was like another girl that she saw on the bus and like she fantasizes having like this whole like orgy with her. And like, I'm like, ⁓ please. It's kind of it kind of gave me the ick. I was like, as like a sex psychologist, I don't know that like that's something that they would really be like encouraging or something like that. Tay: Yeah. No, I think she needs to attend sex therapy if she's seeing that so much. It's like April: That's yeah, that's kind of what I thought. I was like, wow, lady, like you need some help yourself. Anyways, story goes on. She ends up letting herself be sold to this temple of tentacle priests, okay? And there it's wild, y'all. Yeah, yeah. And it's like she she's gonna go to be at this temple, and they're all about science, okay? So these octopus tentacle priests are all about science and they're studying pleasure. Tay: Human trafficking off to a good start. April: And attachment and how like I don't even know what the point of this was. Okay, it got wild here for a while. Like, I don't even know what I read. It sounds so like I feel so weird telling you this. So then she is gonna go to them and there's like this ritual where they have to like cleanse her body, and there's like these, I don't they call them like Tintel Fe, which I really should have looked. I well, I really probably shouldn't look up a picture of what these look like. I the description of them in the book made no sense to me. Tay: Mm. April: I just picture bug people. but then she essentially has an orgy with all these bug people, and that grossed me out because I hate insects. So I was like, ⁓ the whole time. So that was wild. I was like, I signed up for tentacles. I did not sign up for you imagining an orgy with another girl and her cat. I did not imagine you like it was just wild, right? So then she goes to this temple and it's kind of like InstaLove on the pre-side, but I would say it is not I this did not feel like a romance novel to me. There were like it was all just like smut, smut, smut, smut, smut with all these different creatures. And so like her job is to essentially have sex with all these different monsters. And they're try I can't even believe I'm about to say what I'm about to say. I have to prepare myself. So she has to have sex with all these different kinds of monsters. And they're kind of like documenting her reactions to it because she's like some rare human where Her uterus is like a shapeshifter. So she can take any sort of wang, not wang, fang, wing. I don't know. So it shapeshifts. And she can give birth to any kind of monster baby, okay? Anyways, she produces this cream, and they're like, we have to study this cream. And I'm like, ⁓ I'm so grossed out by this point, y'all. I don't even know. I'm grossed out at this point. And this octopus guy. Tay: Yeah. Jeez. April: Is like he's not supposed to because he's an octopus, and I guess when they mate, they die. And so he's like, ⁓ like I want that, but I can't do that. I'm gonna die, and all this. ⁓ it is it is a wild ride. But event eventually, like towards the end to sum it up, her vagina ends up saving him. She has magical vagina that not only shape shifts, but also can save octopus guys' life. And she continues to bang everybody. It was Tay: My gosh What a ⁓ what a magical patch. April: Y'all Yeah, so this was I have I I highlighted this. This was at the end of the book, in like the author's note, and I was like, yep, that pretty much sums up my feelings of this book. The author says, and you, dear reader, read this with your whole face, with your eyeballs by choice, which means we're in this together now. And I was like, We sure hotel are. Yes, we are. Tay: That's the funniest shit I've ever seen. With your whole face, your eyeballs, I made you read that shit. April: Yeah, and I was like, Yes, we are, we are in this now. What did I just read? Tay: That's iconic. Queen. April: Like ⁓ I just I was I literally told my husband after this, I was like, Kevin, I just read a book that like what you think I read is what I just read. It's not what I normally actually read. What you think was like, you know how like some people are like, ⁓ romance novels are just porn for women. And obviously, like we as romance readers don't feel that way. But I was like, nope, that is straight up what I just read. With all sorts of monsters and creatures. Tay: To God that Kevin won't listen to this episode because that is so accurate but so funny. ⁓ my god. April: Okay. Yeah. It was it was a lot. Like, wow. I don't even know. I'm gonna need some book recommendations from people to get me out of this book slump. Like, I feel like I just read like 30 monster romances in once. And I wouldn't even call this a monster romance. It was monster porn. That's what I just read. It was it was something. I did not rate this book, by the way, because I just felt like it would not be fair. And I know, like I mean, to say like for me zero stars, but Tay: yeah. Golly. Yeah. Maybe we maybe right now we could think of like a hilarious one star review it. Like, you know, just even April: I'm gonna have to, yeah. My whole face did this, read this with you, and my whole face wants to know what I just read. What was Tay: My whole face and my eyes want a refund. Even though this was on Kidwell Unlimited. April: I need some holy water. Give those yeah, bring those temple priests. I need some holy water for my eyeballs because what was that? Tay: speaking of my book, I'm pretty sure I paid two ninety nine for my book. Two ⁓ mine was mine was not. It's like April: ⁓ see mine were in KU, thank goodness. Cause yeah. Like rest in peace to my Kindle Unlimited recommendations. They are they are messed up from the floor up. Tay: Ooh, they're gonna be wild after this. They're gonna be like, ⁓ we know what you want. Yeah. April: Yeah, they're gonna be like, she wants more monster smut, which you know what? I wouldn't mind if it was an actual romance book, but that was not it. That was not it. I don't know what that was. Tay: I think to wrap it up you need to read what I can't remember with the new name ⁓ Kiss of the Basilis. I think you need to read that one now after you read the April: ⁓ my gosh. I'm I'm well prepped for it. I'm pretty sure my lady banged a snake guy too. So yeah, I'm ready for it. Right. Tay: ⁓ yeah. Yeah. It takes you on a wh wild ride. There's a dad. There's a ⁓ pr ⁓ what is it, a prince? There's all the people. She is d what's her name? Tim. Tim is getting every hole filled. I cannot believe magical morphing vagina. What a talent. And she's saved everybody with it. That's so great. Good for her. April: Yeah. Wow. Yeah. What a talent. Honestly didn't see it coming. Yeah, good for her. Conducted, I guess, science somehow, some way science was conducted. I feel like I was conducting a science experiment reading that. And my conclusion is that book is for stronger people than me. Tay: Hmm. April: learned I have limits guys found them I was like wow I should go read a different monster romance now like somebody I'm gonna enjoy like I enjoy Opal Rain I like Abigail Owen with her dragon shifter books like I need to go I need to go find something else to go read Tay: Mm. Ha ha. You're like, you know what I need? I need a Christian mingle book. April: need yes, I need please, please, somebody sign me up for a small town. I think that's what I texted you. I think I said something like I need a small town romance right now. I just need like standard they've been in love forever. Some silly reason she moved away. Like I need something silly and lighthearted like that, because wow, maybe I should go back to April showers and read the next scrubby daddy book. Tay: Jesus. Yeah. I this this has to be an episode again. I think ⁓ I our listeners probably enjoyed the hell out of this. So I'm gonna guess that we're gonna have to do this again in the future. So definitely leave us a rec if there's something in the future that you want us to partake in, and we will do our due diligence to read it. And me and April will tell you if we draw our hard line in the sand again. Go, that's it. ⁓ April: ⁓ huh. Yes. That's right. Found it. Tay: We might find a new path. Maybe you forge something for us we never knew was inside of us. And we go, Yes, I do like this. ⁓ take me some more. Challenge. That's my challenge to y'all. April: Right. Challenge. Yes. But all right, besties. That's it for today's episode. Tay: Make sure to follow, download, and share to podcast socials with your other book besties. We would love to hear about your favorite monster romances. Please leave a comment on your favorite platform letting us know. April: And join us next week where we're gonna talk about audiobooks and our favorite narrators. Tay: And remember April: We're glad you're here because Tay: It's faded. April: I'm gonna stop recording.