Latest / Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor / What role do boundaries play in online relationships?
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: Boundaries in online relationships work the same way they do offline.
- 0:06SPEAKER_00: They're simply agreements about what feels okay and what doesn't.
- 0:10SPEAKER_00: Because so much communication now happens through texts, DMs, and social media, those agreements often need to be a bit more specific than they would do face to face.
- 0:20SPEAKER_00: And it is common to feel unsure about what's reasonable to expect or ask for when a relationship is partly on screen.
- 0:28SPEAKER_00: Now a useful place to start is remembering that a boundary isn't about controlling someone else, it's about being honest with yourself first.
- 0:36SPEAKER_00: So before raising anything with the other person, take a moment to notice what actually feels comfortable to you and what doesn't.
- 0:43SPEAKER_00: So things like being tagged in posts, sharing passwords, following other people, or how quickly you're expected to reply to messages.
- 0:52SPEAKER_00: Getting clear on this for yourself gives you something steady to bring into the conversation rather than reacting in the moment.
- 1:00SPEAKER_00: Now, a practical way to support yourself with this could be to pick one or two things that matter most to you right now.
- 1:08SPEAKER_00: That's maybe how often you check in during the day, whether your relationship status is public or what you're comfortable sharing digitally.
- 1:16SPEAKER_00: Talk these through directly with the other person, ideally outside of an argument, so both of you can speak openly and be heard.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: You might also keep your passwords to yourself, even a relationship you trust, as privacy and trust can exist at the same time.
- 1:31SPEAKER_00: Boundaries can also shift as a relationship grows, so it helps to keep checking in with each other rather than treating it as something that needs to remain fixed forever.
- 1:41SPEAKER_00: Now, if a boundary you've set keeps getting ignored, or if checking in starts to feel like constant monitoring, pressure, or unwanted contact, that's worth taking seriously.
- 1:51SPEAKER_00: Speaking with a trusted friend, a counsellor, or a relationship support service can help you work out what to do next, particularly if things start to feel more like control than connection.
- 2:02SPEAKER_00: So for more support and resources around online connection belonging, you can always come back to this topic on the app.
- 2:09SPEAKER_00: And if you are thinking about harming yourself or feeling safe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emergency number or a crisis helpline.