Latest / Dits & Dahs / celebrating spiritual marriage
Transcript
- Sue: I awoke this morning with thoughts of marriage on my mind, rather the topic of marriage and how as a child growing up in America in the 60s in the Midwest, I don't know if my geographical location makes a difference, but it was always as a girl expected that at some point you would become a wife and mother. And my parents were big on that except When I got into my adult years and maybe my 20s, 30s, as a young adult starting out in my career, it wasn't happening. So when I eventually did marry Gareth when I was 45, after having met him a few months earlier, my parents were relieved to be able to see me get married before they died. Kids weren't gonna be an option, but it was the thought that woke me up. this morning was more about the concept of that was a milestone that I was meant to attain, was to be married. Now I look back on that as a widow and I can say with ease, I've ticked that box. But of course, I don't dismiss the idea of being married again. I don't have any relationships right now, so it's not like it's on the horizon immediately. But now I think if I did have a relationship, I probably would still get married, but you know, there's not the incentive or there's not the drive or there's not the motivation to do so just for the sake of reaching a milestone. Because life for me is a lot more than that. Yeah, I want somebody side by side with me, but I'm also content with the idea that I've learned to live by myself so that if it doesn't happen, it's not going to feel a disappointment. And rightfully so, I've already been married. So I have had that milestone. You I believe you can happily spend your entire life with a partner at your side and not ever having exchanged marriage vows because in the end, if you are indeed side by side with somebody who is your spiritual partner, you're married in spirit. And what I talk about a lot on my blog is the fact that the spiritual realm, not religious per se, but just knowing yourself and loving yourself and having faith in yourself. That spirit is essential. And that means that when you find somebody that shares that spirit, you can be spiritually married without having the legal framework to do so. And how that aspect of things has changed since I became a widow. And that I think that's a healthier perspective. Now, in my case, because my husband was a non-U.S. citizen, it was important for us to be married. And actually, you know, we were both at that point in our lives still at the mindset. Although he was divorced twice when we got married. So he was obviously an optimist. Was it optimistic over common sense or something like that? He wanted to get married. So fine with me. But the mindset of feeling as though your life is complete only when you attain certain milestones is bunkum, seriously. There's no shade on anybody that wants to achieve those milestones as I have done one of them, but it's no longer what is driving me towards a happy, joyous, loving life. It's the flip opposite of what people tell you of living together without being married is, ⁓ you're living in sin. Not if you're with your spiritual part. That's one of the most sacred relationships that one can have. That's not sin. That's my view. Don't take that as a way to live your life. I'm just expressing that when you're with somebody who is your spiritual spouse, whether you have a piece of paper that says you're married, may be important for your circumstances, but mostly not so much. In the end, it's about loving yourself. It's about having faith in yourself. It's about trusting that when you... side by side with that partner, that's your spouse. You don't need a piece of paper to tell you that. Don't get me started on the rites, R-I-T-E-S, of whether you should be married in a house of religion or not, just again, no, doesn't matter, in my opinion, because God's always around you, so you don't need to be in a house of God to celebrate a wedding. You certainly can. I'm not placing whether it's right or wrong. I'm just saying that... When you're spiritually married and have found your spouse within, everything else falls to the side in terms of importance. That union is sacred and that will help guide you through the rest of your life together and prepare you for the fact that one day one may die before the other. And in my experience, it's only prepared me more for understanding myself better. Not saying you should go through what I went through, but in another way you will come to the realization that someday your spiritual connection will be the one that supersedes everything else. Go on and get married. If you're truly with your spiritual spouse, then you already are. And you should be loyal to that. You respect that and value that for what it is. That is above everything, what is seen and heard and felt by everybody. So one day, who knows? There might be another wedding in my life. And if not, I've ticked that box. Just a few thoughts about marriage. For a closing thought, I had an amazing marriage with Gareth. And I'm grateful for that learning experience. Thanks for your time listening and sharing of your energy with this topic this morning. I appreciate you.