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A Pirate's Welcome Home · Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration

• You know who does have crafting, Vina? Tannhauser! You know who's not Tannhauser? I see that you have come back because you could not stay away from me. Yeah, that's exactly it. Well, Captain Vina, if it had to be a while! Never mind, we're surrendering. Vicon Sharkskin is the main character now. Still all substance. Where's the show? Oh, who's ready to play some more Rot Grime? Oh, I kind of wish I recorded each of us separately so I could still speakers screech because it sounded just like the TIE Fighter. Yeah, it does sound like the TIE Fighter. You're right. You sounded like the Cleric Beast. Yeah, good job, Hulky. You sound like a Cleric Beast. I love screaming. I love making sounds. I think I used some cheese. Hi there, everybody. Welcome to another exciting episode of Rot Grind! We leveled! Yep! We leveled! We got all the other... We got all the cool stuff and things, everything else. And also, I realized why our nameplates aren't updating because we're all supposed to be level 12 now! Yippee! Whoa! Tree Racer better watch his back. Yeah, he's gonna get crumped. Speaking of getting crumped, everyone used to tell us what you did as you leveled up and stuff. So, as I try to fix our nameplates in vain, because I realized what happened, because it's a different thing and import with new computer. Vina, now that you're level supposedly 12 via the UI, what did you get? And then also with your shopping stuff, what did you buy? Okay, well, you get a lot of feats this level, which is very exciting. I got the class feat, Cheat Death, because that's very flavorful for Vina. Somehow you always escape the Reaper by a hair's breadth. You avoid being knocked out or killed and remain at one hit point and gain panache, but you become doomed one, which is very fun, very flavorful. Swashbucklers are awesome. The archetype feat that I got, I got Mockingbird's Disarm, because I'm tumbling through a lot, and essentially lets me tumble through and attempt to disarm an enemy while I do that. Very nice, very nice. And then my skill feat, I just got Steady Balance, because I wasn't sure what else to take. So I, just dexterity, just dexterity all the way. And then the only thing I bought was a cheeky little striking rune to make me do more melee DPS, because that is my job. My job is to be bisexual, eat hot chip, be on the front line and die. Be crying too gay, be crying too gay. But of course, next up we have, what did you level up with, and what did you buy? Well, I went up to level 12, I bought a bunch of runes for potency and resilience, as well as took three different feats. For my class feat, I got Emblazon Anti-Magic, which allows me to continue specking into the Emblazon Armament class path, or rather the feat paths. This one allows me to emblazon a new effect on my shields or weapons. If I have my shield raised and it's emblazoned on the shield, they gain the shield circumstance bonus to saving throws against magic, and they can shield block against damage from their enemies' spells. And if I put it on a weapon, when the weapon critically hits, I can attempt to counteract the spell on the target using half my level rounded up as the counteract rank. After the attempt, the symbol immediately disappears. So it's a one-time use if you crit. But if the enemy has a sustained spell effect on them, you can just attempt to get rid of it. Nice, nice, nice, nice. Nice! For the free archetype, I picked up Reflexive Shield. What this means is that because I have the shield block reaction, damage that I take as a result of a reflex save can then trigger that, and I can snap my shield into place and attempt to deflect some of that damage, even if it's not physical. So, playing more into the tank role, or frontliner, that I have become. And finally, for my skill feat, I picked up Rapid Mantle. So I can now pull myself on ledges onto the... I can pull myself up on ledges in any surface and stand if I'm trying to grab onto an edge as an action. If I use athletics instead of a reflex save to grab an edge. I can also, if I climb or leap within five feet beneath the top of an edge, I pull myself up onto the surface and stand as part of that action rather than a separate action. Nice, nice, nice. So I'm scrappy. I'm scrabbling around. I'm big, but I'm... I'm like a squirrel. I'm a weird creature, like a bug. Did you buy anything or do any items from the shop? Only things that I bought were just additional runes to beef up how hard I can hit and how many hits I can take. Nice, nice. Now, Mr. Tannhauser. Tannhauser! Tannhaused all over the level up process and went ahead and... Why did you say it like that? Tannhauser all over the place. As I was saying, I bought the Time Mage feat, Purge of Moments, which allows me to very quickly have, once per hour, five rounds of combat happen only for me. Now, I can't do anything during those five rounds of combat, but that is enough to let bad effects wear off or let good effects accumulate. So that's fun. Additionally, I purchased the Feet Scroll Adept, which allows me to make temporary spell scrolls of spells that are two ranks lower than my highest spell rank, functionally giving me an extra third and fourth level spell slot. Lastly, well, not lastly, um, I wound up going to the store, and despite wanting very desperately to purchase a steam trolley, I was eventually convinced otherwise by my wise companions. Uh, and instead, I purchased a Ringmaster's Staff, uh, which allows me to do all kinds of crazy, kooky little support spells, up to and including summoning Rhinocerae and causing Mist to appear. But I also purchased a chunk of Cold Iron. And then the last thing, something that I really should have talked to Thurston about before we started, is that, uh, I took the, the feat Cadre! Um, which allows a loyal cadre of retainers to join me. These individuals don't function as followers and won't accompany you into dangerous areas or situations. However, they can train by your side, assist you in crafting items, and, most importantly, help me spread my heroic tales. Um, question. Yes. So you took a new archetype to get that? No, that was a skill feat. Cadre, uh... Oh, shit. Never mind. I've chosen a different skill feat. Entirely. Of course. Oh. Of course. And you'll find out what that is at the end of the break. I think, I think, like, I think there were, like, at least a hundred GMs out there who did, like, the naked gun, like, facepalm with me. With me. You were, you were me. We were together in that moment. Whoopsie. Yeah, my bad. Well, you can, you can smoke bomb that mishap by telling us what you bought. I already did. I bought a staff and I bought a chunk of cold iron. And, uh, the staff is, uh, it's so good. It's so cool, dude. It's awesome. Yeah, what is it? Yeah. It's the staff of the ringmaster. What is it doing? The staff of the ringmaster has six charges. And of those charges, I can use to cast spells like carry-all, gentle landing, or if I expend five charges, cloak of colors, or even a fifth level command. So, uh, hopefully it'll let me cast some supporty spells without actually having to commit to preparing supporty spells. After all, Tithouser did swear not to use a weapon. So, I made sure to pick a staff that had no offensively damaging spells. You're gonna accidentally, like, box on with that staff, and then, like, all of a sudden, the clouds part. You fucked up! Nope, nope, I'm never. You see, that's the thing. Everyone made fun of me. Oh, the speaker, that was such a stupid thing you sacrificed. Nope, nope, I'm keeping to it. Look at me, keeping to it. Ooh, I could have bought the staff of metal, but I didn't. Hey, hey, hey, hey, person. Who I asked to clip something so I could have six months from now. If you could clip that, too, that'd be great. Thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please, too. I invite you, too. You'll see. You think, you think you're, you think you're weaving me into a grave, but in truth, in truth, you are weaving the first few lines of the epic poem of my infinite triumph! Speed of triumphs. There's going to be some bit that's going to be really funny if you hit someone with a stick and you're going to go for the bit. Oh, yeah. It's going to be all over, dude. I'm going to crash out. It's all, I'm going to crash the fuck out. It's all over. There's going to be one session where I'm really tired and I wasn't paying attention, and I think, well, I guess I do this. What else am I going to do? And then, and then, and then. I love getting to play with you, Speaker. You're a great player. Aw, thank you, Thirsten. It's been a great player. Baldrick, what did you get? Hi. Yeah, so Baldrick hit level 12, and for my class feed, I picked uncanny bombs, which is a really cool ability that means that that really cool bomb launcher I bought is not only outmoded because it also increases my range increment to 60 feet, but it also reduces enemy armor class when I throw it at them, and now I instantly succeed when targeting enemies in concealment to beat the concealment check. Nice, nice. I also got skill training in nature, and for my archetype for demolitionist, I got collapse wall, which means if I blow up a wall, I can have it fall on an enemy and pin them for one round of combat, or two if, or excuse me, for an interact, or two if it's a critical failure. Nice, nice, nice. I bought nothing because everyone bought very expensive items, and I don't really need to, but it was very funny watching the amount of money dwindle into nothing. Did you buy one thing, like that collagen thing? No, because I didn't want to buy, I couldn't buy the Alembic because I already have sticky bombs, and Thurston won't let those stack, so it doesn't matter. Yeah, they don't stack, because persistent damage doesn't stack that way. Gotcha, okay. So, yeah, I leveled up, and that was Baldrick's lot in life, and much like Baldrick in the game, uh, he didn't need anything, so he didn't get anything. I, I, as the player, though, I do think it is kind of, kind of stinky. Kind of stinky! Stinky being stinky, Oren, uh, he's now level 12. Uh, he got weighty impact for one of his class fiends, which allows Grogamunger to do the knockdown action. Uh, basically after he gets a successful strike, he can then go knockdown, and then basically try to trip the creature without it going, uh, with a multi-attack penalty. So it just makes it easier for him to trip people and try to help out the team. Uh, my archetype, uh, with the, I now got blessed denial, so basically it was a reaction, uh, with an ally within 30 feet, who will become frightened, drained, enfeebled, sickened, or stupefired, uh, I basically just go, no, and I reduce it by one, so I can try to, like, keep people being affected by that stuff. Uh, and for my skill fees, I got advanced first aid, so as I'm kind of, like, healing people and stuff, I can kind of help out with frightened or sickened, do other condition by two, and basically help out with that. And for the items that I got for Orin, was basically it got, um, sold my old staff to get a better staff of healing, so now I have, like, breath of life and stuff, and a fifth level heal and things, so I can, like, oh no, someone's about to die, swing, reaction, do that, kind of like what Rahua did, uh, in the past. And in addition to that, uh, I also got a striking rune and stuff, and a armor potency rune for Gorgamongar, so Gorgamongar's a little bit more, uh, dangerous in melee now. And that's pretty much it for what I got. Thurston, what did you get? I got, um, a water. Nice water. I wish I had water. Yeah. You should drink water. Yeah, it helps. Well, one thing that does help is doing a recap. You guys, I threw you a fucking spike and you let the ball land. You just looked at it. I'm like, I'm not spiking to you ever again. I got water. So basically, uh, what happened last episode, everyone excited for, or times of Kingmaker, as I find ourselves some excellent background music to go with it for. It was a role-playing episode last time. Uh, basically, basically our lovely band of chuckle fucks were able to reunite onto the airship and begin basically heading over to Venus homeland. Um, everyone was basically doing various tasks. Oren was looking at the clouds, chilling out with the Corgermonger. Baldrick was working on his, uh, very radiated device down below where he basically created a bomb bay, uh, down below. So, uh, Tannhauser, what, oh yeah, you dropped the pamphlet, didn't you? You dropped the pamphlet and then it landed on some random child, like, like landing in a child's hand. It's like, oh, a revolution. And I remember now. What happened is Cronch refused to be radicalized by my, uh, firebrand rhetoric, uh, because he's too lazy to read my fucking papers. So he threw it down, littering, which, by the way, hurts the environment, for one. And, uh, it did wind up winding in the hands of a child who I believe is causing a revolution in some, one of the flyover countries. Yeah. So radicalizing the world as we kind of fly over. Uh, so Cronch was basically letting us all know that we got, or got paid for basically doing, uh, the retail work. Or to go, go, go, go at New York, go, go, uh, uh, and helping out, uh, or dear friend Blotus. I think this time it was the dragonfly merchant, if I remember right. Uh, scarab merchant. Scarab merchant. Thank you. And he, and with that, we got paid about 5,000 gold for doing so. Um, and Cronch was like, oh, I'm not into politics, but, uh, who's gonna split the money? And after failed attempts from Cronch of making us have, like, an eternal debate, we all just kind of bought what we needed to. And it bought to get the sword into the stick. Yeah, happens. I mean, he was, he was okay. He, Baldrick, is okay with it. Yeah. Uh, after, after coming together, Vina got a flat, basically Vina got a vision of horrible things potentially coming to. And after comforting her with some feel-good juice, we basically decided to head forth and, um, basically see what's over the horizon where we saw sky whales, uh, basically flying around the ship. And so currently the adventuring, the adventuring team is flying around the ship, uh, enjoying the sights and the lovely sunshine, the beautiful clouds of sky whales flying about. And that's where we left our adventurers last. Unless I like, oh, oh, wait, wait, not to forget our lovely fey raccoon who had, was invited in and made shop inside of the ship. So basically he opened up a giant general store with his magic and stuff. That's how we got all of our fancy items and everything now after visiting him to where, for his words, we have to be prepared. We have to be, you know, pretty much set up for the feast. We need to be stronger for the fight ahead to where the raccoon is setting us up to, uh, to eventually battle us in the future when we potentially come back to the parking lot and outset. And so with all that, that's pretty much where we were left off. Did I forget anything important? Nope. That seems to cover it, I think. Excellent. So now we're still flying around with the sky whales, being all happy and everything for those who can fly, having a lovely time. Or having fun and playing. La la la, la la la la la. School of sky whales begins to veer off. Heading towards the ocean. Yes. Are they a school or a pod? Because you said pod last time. I change my mind when I want. I didn't remember anything to do the recap, but I do remember specifically you calling them a pod. Go figure. Mods, ban this guy. Please do. Mods? Mods? Mods delete one of his eyebrows. Mods, render his fat into a candle. The whales veer off, leaving you once again alone over the landscape as you approach Andacia. Oh, Tad Houser, wasn't that so fun? I had so much fun frolicking and playing, and I also managed to purchase this staff from those kind whales. Okay, fuck off. No, you're not setting up some, like, I bypassed buying equipment from the evil rep. Fuck off, fine. You can make it happen with a narrative declaration. Mark him down. He narratively declared that he negotiated with Skywhales for his staff. That's going to be a bonus episode. Hi, Tad Houser. I see you have lost the ability to do battle. It's true, my Skywhale. Take a splinter of my horn. Sorry, role-play the whale. I'm getting a drink. Take the splinter of my horn. We're narwhals. But why, Sky-Narwhal? How could I possibly ever repay you? Oh, by doing justice to the land and destroying the government to oppress people. That's extremely progressive of you. Have you been reading my literature? Oh, your words have gone far and wide in the winds, Tad Houser. Ah, well, I simply still must pay you back. Here, I say reaching into Oren's pocket. No, Baldrick's pocket. Take this 1,800 gold. Oh, I thank you. We will use it for many food bags for young whales. That's good. And remember, only together can we achieve progressive victory. Hey, Speaker, I got bad news for you. Yeah. Baldrick has three gold. Well, well, you know, yeah. Turns Baldrick's pocket. Did you gather 1,800? Did you gather 1,800 gold worth of pocket lint? Because he may have that. That is a truly astounding amount of pocket lint. Bro is a spawning in pocket lint. It's not the amount. It's the quality. Why do you keep so much lint in your pocket? It's not the amount. It is greater. It is not the amount of pocket lint. It is the quality of it that matters. Oh, yeah. Tanny, I should have told you. The sky whales are base. I had no idea. They were so awesome. As they fly away, they make a little fist with their flipper. Like, for the revolution. Goes away. Oh, they are majestic. They really are majestic creatures. Yeah, by the way, Chad is right. This is the radiation poison talking. Yeah, exactly. We're all just like, who is Tannhauser talking to? Where did he get that? Just Tannhauser has a giant, like, illuminated, like, green glow coming out of his head. And he's just like, sky whales. Take in my money. He's over the hospital bed. Everyone's gathered around all sad. Anyway. The whales are gone, Mr. Tannhauser. Wake up. They never existed. I have such awful cotton mouth, which is odd, because I don't have a mouth. Oh, eat this worm. We'll eat the cotton. Okay, then. I turn the suction on my hose, and I suck the worm down. You get healed for. Smoke the worm. Baldrick, trying to separate himself from the ongoing engagement. Heal for 20. Goes to Veena and asks, are we supposed to be doing something right now? Um. Well, not particularly. I believe we're on our way to Ayesa. Um. Does that explain why there's a chair propped up against the ship's steering column, sending us in circles for the past hour? Oh, shit. Yeah, I gotta go steer. Yeah. You really should. Butter over it. Uh, putter over to it. Uh, yeah, I mean, we just have to make sure to try to fly as stealthy as we can. Uh, keep an eye to the sky if you, um, if you're not too terribly busy. There's a non-zero chance we run into one of the crews out here, and as fun as it would be to, uh, come back with a bang, I'd rather not have to do any repairs. So, only shoot back if they shoot first, right? Only should, well, if they look like they're about to shoot, we should shoot first, but otherwise we shouldn't pick fights. Okay. Does this ship have any weapons, or were we relying on my throwing arm for this one? Uh, actually, this is a good question. Thurston, does this ship have any weapons? Does it have, like, cannon ports or anything? Because this was, like, a, uh, recreational airship. Correct. But, we did also establish that Baldrick was building weapons on the ship, which is the bomb bay. Okay, so you don't have, like, standard weapons as much as a giant bomb bay. Well, uh, that actually kind of works out because, in theory, that means that as long as Veena is a skilled enough sky pirate pilot, after all, to maneuver us over top of them, we just need to go to the bomb bay and throw shit out of it at them. They just war thundered their ass? Yeah, exactly. We're, this, uh, this airship is very much less red baron and more Enola gay. We're not careful it's going to end up Amelia Earhart. This ship is gay as hell. Let's go, brother. We named it after my mother. Yeah. That was a, that was a nuke joke, but, uh, whatever. You did go off with a bang, sorry. Yeah. Uh, as, as we're flying about, because I imagine we're taking, you know, time to fly the right direction now. Orym would like to, uh, do a perception check to see if we're getting any closer. Yeah, go ahead. I only had the die for a total of 28. He's kind of, like, trying to look past the clouds or so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, as he's trying to look past things, um, it's not necessarily a head that is what is, is getting to Orym. Well, one thing Orym notices, which Valdrick alluded to, is like, Veena's not exactly flying straight to the destination. In fact, if Orym had to guess, Veena's intentionally delaying reaching the destination. I've been there by now. One thing you do notice is behind you is the silhouette of a sky whale that appears as though it's following you. Oh, it's a curious baby. He runs to the back of the ship. What do you see? I see a baby sky whale following us. Veena blinks a couple of times. Is there anything on its back? I'll check. I'll look to see if there's something on its back. Yeah, as you look, you can tell that it is definitely not a baby as you get closer. It's not a baby. And there is something on its back. There is something on its back. What's it got on its back? It's some kind of like wooden apparatus based on, like, based around its back. Almost as though it were a ship. Yeah, it's kind of like some wooden thing. It looks like a ship, but it's probably a sky whale. And it's gating on you. Yeah, it's going real fast. Everybody man your stations. But we never stop the stations. Baldrick goes to the area closest to the approaching ship, and he will prepare to throw things. Okay. Oren hugs the tree in the back of the ship. Now that it's been pointed out to me, does Vina recognize, like, would I recognize if this belongs to a particular crew that I've heard of? Oh, yes. Oh, no. This has to be the vessel of Viconned Sharkskin, the most bloodthirsty of the ruling Vicons. Of your homeland. Oh, okay. All right. We're being tailed by a Viconned. Everybody get on your stations. And just... Get ready for a fight. Oh, are we shooting first and asking later? You want to give me some airship lore here? We determined that because the plane of air doesn't exist. That's my airship lore. Yep. Okay. Okay. Not bad. That is a 30. This whale is faster than you and will absolutely fuck you up in a fight. All right. This whale is faster than us and will absolutely beat our ass in a fight. So we're going to have to get scrappy. Let's see if we can get above and get the jump on him. Oh, captain, my captain. And I'm going to do all that I can to relay that order to everyone else in the crew. Let's beat to stations. Let's get this shit going. Aye, aye, come. Orin, are you keeping an eye on the whale as it's approaching still? I'm giving up days. Uh, you see that coming off of the back of it is a, uh, flowing purple flag that it begins to fly. They're flying a purple flag, captain. What would I recognize that that's the language of we're about to get our shit rocked? That's, that's the language of, uh, parlay. Parlay? Could be a trick. I would bet it's a trick. All right. Here's what we do. We're going to get above. We'll meet their parlay, but put ourselves in an advantageous position over their ship. To where if they decide to pick a fight, we can rain hell on them. Hmm, wise, wise. Shall I lower any flags to indicate our intention? What is the response to a purple flag? Probably the same thing, Beck. Mm-hmm. Orin, uh, uh, nothing to take it from anybody. Uh, Orin will kind of call over to Rahua. Rahua, can you get the purple flag out and draw it up? Yeah, sure, uh, there's a storage on this. We haven't been on the ship that long. There's a bin next to the flagpole. Oh, you know what? I should have thought about that. Usually, somewhere else sometimes. Rahua will just... ...clop across the deck. Someone had to organize around here. Thank you, Baldrick. Rahua goes rooting around through it, tries to find the purple flag. You mean this one? It's got purple. Oh, is that red? Blue? Uh, are you colorblind? The sky whale is getting closer. Baldrick is going to go over and collect the purple flag and run it up for Rahua. I thought that was the green guys. Thank you, Rahua. Don't have time for this. Don't have time for this. You're welcome, Nina. Uh, yeah, we'll raise the purple flag in return, uh, and I'm gonna try to bank and gain altitude over them, uh, and then I'm gonna lower, like, a, like, a rope ladder or something. Sure, what kind of, what kind of delicious piloting skills do you have? Um, see, I'm very dexterous, but there's not, like, a direct piloting skill, at least not in the core skills. Not in Pathfinder, no, there isn't. I think there was, there was, uh, lore driving, um... Or driving? Yeah, I mean... I guess... I, I, yeah, I don't know if there's a specific skill for that. Give me your lore, uh, plane of air again. All right. I'm about to say, Thurston, would you consider, not to speak for Veena on this... We changed it to airships, there we go. Not, not to speak for Veena on this, but surely driving is as much a performance as it is anything else. I would also have the argument for crafting, if you have any of that. Crafting is good, yeah? Crafting? No, I don't have any crafting, um... Do you know, you know who does have crafting, Veena, who's an expert at it, in fact? Tannhauser! You know who's not Tannhauser? I'm not making anything. I mean, my, my thought would be that, uh... Crafting also is... Thurston just said crafting. Is the understanding of, like, how something is made or works? It's not strictly making something. It's like, if you do crafting, I'm like, um, uh, like a trap. You understand how that works. An understanding of mechanical goods. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Okay, that checks out. Uh, I'll, I'll just do the, the lore airships, I suppose. Go ahead. Teen. It could be better, could be worse. That is a 25. All right. 25-u. One sec. Oh, cool. Oh, come on! Ah! Fucker! Oh, the 20 on, that 20 on that one. Yeah. So much. It's, it's technically private, but we saw the dice. Um, you, uh, you, uh, you see that this, that this whale is, is trained extremely well. And Veena, as you are attempting to get control of the situation, it's not happening. The whale, in fact, seems to be mocking you by almost, um, dancing circles around you in the air. And as it decides to position itself by you, there is a striking silhouette at the prow of the vessel. The, uh, small, some might say even tiny, imposing figure of Viconned shark skin. Viconned shark skin is the main character now. For fuck's sake. He's an action figure, dad. True. Yeah, Veena is just going to... Well, Captain Veena, if it has to be a while. You wanna, uh... Viconned! Sorry, go ahead. Keep going. Pleasure to see you out and about. Veena is going to, uh, uh, pass the wheel over to, uh, Tannhauser. And is going to kind of get closer to the Vicon. She's gonna bow somewhat theatrically, tip the hat, and just... To what do I owe the pleasure? Oh, what do you see? I'm just glad that you came into disguise. Are you gonna hand this ship over? Yeah, let's surrender. For podcast listeners, because we haven't described it for podcast listeners, this is a tiny poppet. This is a tiny toy stuffed animal-like action figure who has a tiny sword and, like, a button for its shield. And has, like, these kind of sharp-tooth-embedded feather hat. Uh, and the large trench coat and everything. He is a tiny, glorious little bastard. Uh, just to emphasize for podcast listeners there. He has also been described as one of the most ruthless of the Pirates of the Vicon Council. Uh, I should also point out, the entirety of the crew is poppets. Yes! Ha ha! Oh! The entire crew, which you begin to see as the whale approaches closer, uh, you can see such distinct shapes as, um, like, like, almost, you know, um, ball-jointed, like, knights in armor. Um, what appears to be, like, a lion with a little, like, cupid bow and arrow. Uh, one just appears to be a panda with, like, a wizard hat and staff. Ha ha ha! Oh, the sheer amount of delight I am getting from this. God bless you, Thurston. It's so beautiful. I love it. It's really, really, really, scalability to knock this out of the park with the art. Oh, yeah? Um, yeah, Veena just, um, gives him a smile. Well, Vicon, I'm afraid that I'm reluctant to part with this particular ship after everything I've been through to get it. And, of course, I'm sure all the people at home would love to welcome me back with, um, the fanfare that a ship like this deserves. Besides, you've already been so diligent in training that whale of yours. So, bless you, you've still got a mouse on you. Okay. Well, it's gonna land right away. We're gonna follow you back home. Come on! You're gonna follow us? Lead your way, back home! Okay, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give a squint. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm sense and motive. He's giving up too easy. Uh, and that would be... Perception check. Perception, yes, indeed. Uh, 29. Not great. The Vicon is eager to see you home. Hmm. Can I attempt a, uh, perception check? Yeah. Absolutely. Oh my god! Okay, Rahula! Rahula! Rahula is 25, 40. Rahula is intimately familiar with inanimate objects that are made inanimate. That's, it's me! It's literally me! It's literally me! Rahula's wisdom is enough to showcase that actually the person to be monitoring in this situation is Vina. And Vina, you know, maybe has a reason that they shouldn't be going home. And so, this Vicon is quite happy to see you go home. Probably because there's something bad awaiting Vina at home. Something the captain hasn't deigned to talk to you much about. So, we're not going home, Vina. Not because I think this little, whatever that is, is a threat. That's a real mean thing to say to me! Well, no, you, you, you, you, you're very scary. You're very, very scary. I love your, I love your outfit, by the way. Where did you get that? Uh. Rahula just like, has a, you know, shark! I bit it, and I killed it, and I skinned it. You'll have to teach me how to do that. I'm looking to pick up tailoring as well. And shark skin's very nice. A moment, please, dear, dear, uh, Vigond. The whale veers off slightly to give you privacy. Look, so we're not going to go back home. I don't really feel overly threatened by, by, by them, but. There's something far, far more pressing, more dangerous at port than out here. And it's something that none of us are aware of, I suppose. Not, save for you, Vina. What has kept you out of your port of call for so very long? I know that your relationship with your mother is tumultuous, to say the least, but what, what else is there? Um. You know, that's, that's a, that's a complicated story. Um. One that we don't have to litigate in front of the good Vigond. We're going to die if we go back to that port, aren't we? We're on the same boat. At least, you're going to die. Um. There's a non-zero chance. Vina, we are hundreds of meters above the ground. We are an island of our own, but it does not mean that you need to be an island unto yourself. We have been through enough. We can deal with the, Rahua kind of gestures his hand out towards the other ship. This. But you need to be straight, because we can't navigate forward if you won't let us know why we can't go back. Why you can't go back. Ah. Well. It's because I lost control of Papa Storm's crown. You know the mutiny that I told you about? when you guys first met me and I was ejected from the airship that I was very briefly. Captaining? Of course. That is the only skyship owned by my people, and to fly it is the greatest honor one can be bestowed. And that was an honor bestowed to my mother and then passed down to me when she was injured. The fact that I lost it and that it is known that I lost it and that the current principe of Ayesa's daughter lost the ship she was supposed to have command of um they'll probably kill me. The whale is beginning to veer back. Now jog before we finish our parley jog my noggin is it still out there waiting proved by a new mutinous crew? Yup. From what I understand the crown has never gone down. it's I've never heard a story of it being beaten. Um so yeah I know who's piloting it. She used to be a very close friend of mine. I see. emphasis on used to be I see. Then Vina if it is a matter of restoring your honor to grant you passage to your home once more Ruhua just looms very large over Vina let us find Papa Storm's thunder crown crown fuck close enough sorry I'm having a bit of trouble with speaking today you're good as you guys are discussing Baldrick is going to try and worm his way in uh quietly so as to not rouse the attention of anyone else who may be watching from a distance if possible through like some kind of scary uh puppet periscope or whatever no there's no puppet periscope I don't know that would be the greatest a periscope uh Vina yeah is there any sort of haul for law keeping in this particular place it's got to exist they have pirates have rigid laws and codes generally for themselves there's got to be someone with some kind of reference right yeah the way that power is broken down in a and in and as a whole there is the vicond council who are a um loose congregation of the six foremost captains in all of Andasia you're looking at one of them you become a vicond not by a vote but by essentially racking up accolades until everybody unanimously recognizes that they should listen to you then sitting at the top of the council is the principe or principe that person is voted in by the council every five years and for the past three decades or so that's been my mom all right so even beyond this council even beyond all this there has to be some kind of rule keeping authority right like they've got they've have to have some tomes or like rule books or guidelines or something that I could maybe pour over they got rigid guidelines I'm certain but it doesn't necessarily mean they're very good you would know that in in the capital city that there are repositories of lore like this that exist specifically for you know those who try to shirk shirk the rules and because pirate codes need to be fairly rigid for for your homeland lest it all fall into chaos they are actually one of the more like strictly guarded yes those are things that exist you're gonna have trouble getting in especially as an outsider but they do exist would they be respectful of someone who has and baldrick will reach into his coat and unfurl a wanted poster with his helmet in the shape of like a dodecahedron would they respect someone who happens to share a rather enticingly large bounty hmm possibly but you're going to have to prove that that bounty is something that puts you on their level and you're gonna have to prove you're enough of a badass to not be immediately captured and turned in for the bounty i don't see how that'll be a huge bunch of a problem though people are definitely a lot more concerned with money than they are with um you know individual badasses i put my hand lena you can give me a society check as as tenhouser's approaching it society my society is not i am untrained in that one uh sauce that's seven okay you don't know much about society yeah on on vena's shoulder vena but i'm also kind of distant like i'm focusing on something i don't need to remind you that we have each of us racked up a considerable list of great feats when we arrive at your home what will save us is not contriteness but if your society is anything like me it is braggadocio therefore i have a suggestion you need to earn respect in golgotha this respect is won through fear i do not know what burnishes respect in your lands but might i make a suggestion go for it i'll lean into her pointy ear challenge this puppet to a race i hear you that whale is definitely faster than we are no contest yes but here's something that you now know that they don't um thurston would you say that i've been quiet for at least a minute mostly okay sure yeah all right i cast clairvoyance inside of the wooden box where the captain of our lovely whale is okay for the next ten minutes i've got a bird's eye view inside of that cabin he wasn't in the cabin by the way he was he was on the prow yeah he's on the prow kind of right right fair right t posing there i've got a bird's eye view on that ship could always duel him whatever you think works best i trust your judgment just know that as a badlands barbarian badass i'm always ready to back up anything so long as i don't have to kill anyone with my hands because as i said before i've given up doing that ever since i got that cool skeleton yeah i take off my glove i show my cool skeleton hand remember this yeah oh yeah and i can snap my fingers no no no he can't you need skin to do that it's like it's like clacking it's like clacking you're popping your knuckles repeatedly and it sounds like snapping your fingers yeah yeah yeah he told me i couldn't do it i need meat but nope listen just whatever sort of challenge you'd like to lay at the foot of this puppet know that you have our full support you are the great captain veena and if you don't believe it no one else is gonna okay good right so he wants to escort us home he's not really doubling down about taking the ship we could challenge them to a fight and if we bring a vicon's crew home as plunder certainly that'll leave an impression we are outnumbered though and we'd really only have his honor to go off of if we were to 5v5 whatever odds being stacked against us ever stopped us in the past true okay and that's what we'll do do vena's going to closer vena's going to straighten up kind of straighten her coat out all right i need all five of you to look as scary as you possibly can okay which is not hard you're a scary bunch on it i instantly become 50% more detailed you got like the the jojo lines yeah yeah or in or in cast dragon form oh i turn it or it just turns into a fucking dragon i turn it into a fucking dragon yeah that'll fucking do it dragon dragon it's the dragon dragon dragon dragon ballsy which kind of dragon do you turn it to diabolic dragon i was about to say that's probably what you're gonna do oh diabolic dragon i am a diabolic hell yeah orngo is like on it and he just transformed to this thing just like overwhelming everyone and kind of like kind of peeks down over to the uh other ship just like just kind of snorting fire you can give me intimidate check don't get any cool bonuses you're dragging i want to hear a point i want to hear a point because i got one for doing the recap red roll that got uh with our uh keely bonus got a uh 38 okay not bad pop it stairs you got dragon wow sorry he takes he just completely knocks the wind out of me every time i just i just i love this i want him to kill us all i'm ready for him what is what is wrong with you people this is the best we can't compete it's amazing all right yeah veena's going to approach the edge of the prow vicond i understand your offer of a gracious escort but i'm afraid i'll have to refuse i'm going to return to a to a saw on my own time and if there's a problem with that you and four of your best fighters can take it up with me i wasn't expecting that's a big way to go okay um well you come when you want to i guess you have yourselves a good day then what and he motions for the ship to start veering off wait wait wait wait wait hold on hold on the great captain veena has issued you a challenge no no that's not what happened no no no she went what was offered was that i would fly with you and vee said i didn't want that so i just said no okay she said if i had a problem with it then we could do the challenge thing i don't want no problem with it she misspoke veena challenge him slap her up the head what are you doing you're going to kill him he's grabbing veena by her collar and punching her veena you have a problem with this don't you i drip her in half and i throw her off the balcony i respawned with rotten one again net sponsor dead breath of life reaction i'll be honest i really expected him to actually fight that i assume it's like a group bubble now like like the camera's like up and all of your faces looking down like what the fuck do we do or was looking all intimidating just like you know do all the smart shit and there's like it's like my scales are alien my claws are swords and it's like oh fuck that shit he's like well i guess that worked miss veena yeah he just looks with like big puppy dog eyes like i'm really not sure what to go i was too scary you can't you can't just let him get away with that you should fire the cannon we don't have cannons damn it we don't have cannons and you're the captains i can't we gotta beat that guy up hey we agitated you want seltzer is this guy here or not he's still here yeah he's still there on the prowl you just all turned around and huddled i heard that the whale was fucking off like i was starting it was starting to like adjust away but then you're like wait a second you kept yelling at him okay he's just came back okay poke feet poke feet he's right here the dragon turns to tanhouser and just kind of like kind of whispers out of like we should probably take the win well we got it mr tanhouser but there's no glory he's like glory is all fine until dead men fill the field mr tanhouser exactly and it's even better stuffed lion flies over with a glass for you tanhouser oh thank thank you very much tanhouser don't drink that no problem tanhouser do not drink that that is almost definitely poisoned hold on we don't know if it's poisoned oren drink this okay i hear he drinks it give me a fortitude save oren okay my god i love this game that's a total 36 36 okay it tastes it tastes very acidic otherwise fine very acidic mr tanhouser see it wasn't poisoned at all okay listen acid made hole in stomach can i fucking do a crafting check to see what it is that is in this bottle can i read the bottle to see what the bottle says is it just a glass please i don't know but you can crafting to like dip a finger in and okay sure let me let me let me let me do my fucking job i guess uh christ oh i'd almost have to count that 20 29 29 is enough for you to tell that like it there there is a caustic substance in here but it's it's not like enough to hurt it's more like it would just give whoever drank it some really bad indigestion oh this is um not poison it's just really it's grog yeah passes it to vena i no i am not taking the indigestion liquid you i had i had i had to tan hauser you drink liquor that is far worse than this this is probably like someone's homebrewed bouquet of drink you probably should drink it out of respect it wasn't for me it's empty now i don't know why i throw it off the side a small child down below is hit with a glass bottle who is leading the revolution now the revolution is dead due to death by bottle but now that child has been made a martyr and now the revolution is even stronger and now it's picking up steam it's really picking it up the real campaign is the littering we did along the way true i mean if he doesn't want the smoke then we can always kill him kill him no we can always fly to eesa unaccosted save our strength and we'll probably get in a fight at the port but but vena you gotta understand have you ever been to prison besides that one time tenos we met in prison besides that one time besides that one time no i have not been to prison well then you know that when you're in prison you ain't be nobody's bitch for no amount of time or else you're everybody's bitch forever he's literally running because he doesn't want the smoke he speaks the truth yeah you have to learn how to be top bitch do you want the smoke or don't you vicon shark skin well i'm just trying to be a good friend he is really cute i i i i i i i fuck sorry you know what vicon shark skin do you want to fight or don't you no why would i want fight i didn't become the most free and square point yeah by fighting everyone i didn't even know what he just said yeah me either i don't like that the fighting everyone part i think he wants to fight no he said i didn't get to be the most fearsome vicon by fighting everyone are we i just need to understand are we docked we're no we're still flying beside you okay got it i wanted to make sure i was trying to make sure because i'm i was just i imagine we're sitting at port while all this is happening like we really got showed up fucking puppet damn i have an idea little tiny chef ass okay yes rohua walks over to the vicon okay so now you're stepping on the port and looking over so like you're on the front mast kind of looking over at him on the opposing mast yes so if you if you don't want to fight do you want to just kind of come over and talk about why you're trying to bring us back to port isn't your whole legend to like the most fearsome and blood thirsty vicon out here well yeah of course i am everyone knows my story out here i need to work on that i need to work on making sure that everything is okay in my home okay well the show of good faith respect to a living legend like yourself could i perhaps offer you in a alcoholic beverage no i don't do nothing that oh what do you do he doesn't drink what do i do yeah what i mean like people would share a nice drink nice refreshing aged beverage to show kinship or respect fealty you know all that no we give beverage the they come on board we give them all the drinks well as we can just leave they can just go we don't have to do anything we tell like hey fuck off did we go more politely showed you a really cool bug but you have to come over here for a moment oh we like cool buggy oh my my old captain would like that or not and then like you see all of the other puppets on the ship kind of look down oh captain yeah yeah yeah yeah they all suddenly take off their hats and look down sad like oh yeah I remember that uh Vina do you want to know Vicon Sharkskin's like history so you can tell the party members would I know that yeah you would know that Vicon Sharkskin and his entire crew of puppets was the wish of a dying child which animated an entire toy room and this child grew up on Andacian legends of sky piracy and so these puppets brutally took over a ship for this infirm child who was their captain but the child didn't last long and when the child died the puppets stayed Oh my god Yeah don't I'm gonna pull in Rahua close Yeah don't don't fucking talk shit about the former captain Oh okay good you know good you know that they're all animated by the wish of a dying child child emphasis on when when they were animated the child was dying that child is of course no longer around that child being their former captain and now they're kind of loose Wait are you fucking serious That's okay Yeah See I was planning a whole thing where we could have done something with their crew as a bargaining ship but I might feel kind of bad if I did that No dude no no no no no you are taking the wrong thing from that these guys were animated by the wish of a dying child No no no I know that I understand that I'm saying I'm coming at this from a different angle Do you know how powerful the pure hearted wish of a child is That's like that's like that we can't fuck with these guys they'll kick our ass I understand that the wish of a child is why I even exist in the first place why we still live I am that child I don't want to mess with that are you kidding me like moral reasons oh yeah that one too good all right let's not pick a fight with barren shark skin literally three years old what the man sorry I just saw not everyone real some people think puppets are older than you it's like it's like listen when you're dealing with magic here right people take for granted so many powerful wizards they last wish of a child is nothing no dude that's that's major you know I know we know together Ohana and I put a hand on his shoulder what Ohana means family in dinosaur shut the fuck up fuck you oh no I don't get to next level fuck that'll be really funny next level anyway yeah everyone minus one in chat get that hero point back what a time it's been today you know if the dying wish of a child is that powerful I'm really I'm really glad there's been like no society who's like made like a bunch of dying children and then like indoctrinating them the wish for what they want instead it's like creating free wishes when you think about it what you need to understand is this was a very very powerful child yeah hydrogen baby hydrogen baby hydrogen baby well if I was an evil society I would just you know just starve at them until it works out they tried that I'm sure a couple times I mean if I were to make a society that was not just and was simply founded on that guys were losing it it just there's two things you don't fuck with the pure hearted wish of a child and true love those those those things are nuts what about the power friendship that one's third then duck the damn ship I need to get off you've been trying to get my attention for a week it feels like yes can I be level 13 for the span of one action yeah get yourself down a hero point raise yourself up a level absolutely thank you Zoran can you update the overlay temporarily thank you easy when you're editing this episode please update the overlay thank you you don't have to so I'm number one size larger uh yes my friend you know you make a very compelling point here I have something for you would you just shake my hand for a second why of course my friend who I trust implicitly I offer my hand absolutely I cast Pat cash he shook my hand which constitutes willing that's not how any of this works sure it does he's always I also don't want to do the moral implications when at the end of your action you lose the level and what happens to he's just like trapped in the fucking negative first wherever that fucking time gnome went he gets sent to the fucking cum zone because he just enters like fucking null space I'm gonna hang out with my boy garlic junior I'm gonna radicalize the hell out of him all you're gonna find in there we're losing the plot we're losing the plot let's take a break let's take a break you ever wonder how we can afford all this amazing art and keep the production going and narrative declaration well it's because of you either you're a member of patreon a youtube member or a twitch subscriber all the way to just someone who's just willing to watch the shows whenever they come out for free and then telling people that we exist it's thanks to you that narrative declaration is able to grow to the size it is today and if you want to really help it grow even more all the revenue that we get from our merch store at narrative declaration dot shop where you can pick up game mats t-shirts posters all sorts of things that also goes directly into supporting artists animators editors players game masters anybody anybody who helps make everything to be due here successful so thank you so much to you for supporting the show either it's monetarily or just with your time thank you so much and enjoy the show i assume now with our altercations that we have soared through the skies and had our glorious puppeteer uh the glorious puppet pirate leave us behind did he actually leave us as we're going toward aesa yeah at this point he basically veers off and just remains like a far far distance behind well okay i guess he didn't want the smoke after all so let's um uh some things to keep in mind before we land one keep a hand on all of your belongings anything that you own needs to be in a tied pouch and it needs to be immediately within reach it's gonna get taken if you don't keep it very close two um if anybody looks you in the eye funny look them back you know stare them down don't let anybody think that you're weak or easily taken advantage of because you're outsiders and therefore you're going to have a lot more to prove asa isn't exactly kind to outsiders unless you can kind of stand on your own two feet so we're already gonna be at a disadvantage people know who i am people know how i fucked up so we're gonna have a lot to prove and i have no doubts in my mind that you lot are a bunch of mean motherfuckers that don't take no shit from nobody especially you warren yeah i'll eat them yeah i know you will buddy i ruffle his hair i'm serious oh no i know you are actually he has tasted human flesh and worm flesh and worm flesh he slurps up a worm and i don't exactly know where the site of pop-a-storm's power is going to be but if anybody would know they will probably be in aesa my vision indicated that my mother might know so we'll go in we'll go in find her ask her what she knows and then fuck off all right but oh my god i'm so sorry you're gonna combust this is what happens this is what happens caustic chugging soda all right i'm sorry i'm better now listen i'm not worried about any of us i've done enough horrible things in my life to be secure of my position and rahua rahua's scary yes rahua is a living embodiment of chaos and anarchy which i think means he's gonna be really popular but you vina you must steal yourself i think you're gonna go back there and you're gonna deal with a bunch of people that's going to make throw your biggest failure in your entire life in your face over and over and over again what are you gonna do i'm not going to take that shit i've stared death in the face a few too many times to be cowed at this point so i can do it you're damn right and you've got the most disreputable band of bravos behind you i'll be honored to shed blood in your honor with but not with my hands because i made that whole thing you understand blah blah blah yeah yeah you're gonna have to cast spells for that yes but oh the spells i'll cast i tell you yeah yeah you might even turn into a slime i could do that because then i could use my pseudopods that's clever that's still a gray area that's still a gray area where we're seeing how uncle blaze feels about that one not to me not to me buddy boy that ain't a hand that's a pseudopod i think you'll have to justify that to him when the time comes well you know i'll just simply open up a dictionary and let him read okay yeah sure vena law repository where would that be um it would likely be i know it's near um where the vicon meet correct yep yeah it'll be close to um the council of vicon the vicon council hall you got a map you'll know it when you see it i don't know these streets don't look very familiar to me kind of spent my entire life in outset there's that whole thing of me living there almost exclusively true but um ayesa you can tell it'll be higher up on the mountain and it'll be um at a place where you can see both the sky and the sea from its vantage and it's a very fancy building well as the airship begins to make its way will you describe the scene of the city as the group approaches it oh sure um ayesa's structure you see that as you approach the airship um begins to maneuver between two mountains that are split directly down the middle two mountain faces that face one another with a deep deep ravine through the center along the sides of those mountain faces kind of uh built to face each other there are these long catwalks embedded into the stone there are narrow bridges that crisscross over the open air and uh little flags and various things dangle from these deeply precarious looking uh ledges and roads um the overall color palette is this almost white marble look but it is smeared with this bit of grime and grit to it uh the dock itself is situated at a kind of uh lip between one of the mountains and Vida will point to both of them and indicate that um one of them they are the sister mountains one of which is um sister mountain Mireya the other one is Mariana and kind of through the mountain Mariana there is a small docking area that leads into this dark alleyway that runs along the bottom of the ravine the ravine which there is a river that kind of cuts through its center uh and said river has um little bits of what looks to be just droplets of rot that are carried away toward the ocean uh if you've ever played uh near replicant it is uh the airy is one of the big um vibes all right remember that the airship sets down in the docks as it does so you can tell that there's interest abound uh vena you know the docks here it's easy enough for you to um set down in one of the relatively free births that exist here um it's more about worrying about piracy than it is about you know any any um like payment you have to make as you set down you can tell that there's already gaggles that are forming at the approach of an unidentified airship all right vena's gonna kind of straighten up get the hand on the sword all right everybody mean faces on yeah you know orin it's very quiet you are so intimidating he passed his cheeks whoa scary very scary and uh crunch keep an eye on the ship keep an eye on the ship if anybody tries to board reduce them to a fine paste i have a hammer for that fine paste indeed i know you do and tell raki he can do the same don't don't don't tell raki that this is just like a oh boy it's just like a it's just like a mountain of fucking pirate corpses already only if they try to steal the ship no that's not how that works you just gave the invitation anyway kill everybody we come back and everybody's just gone anyway i had a good run that we yeah the pirates had a good run they're gone now anyway veen is going to uh step out onto the dock and uh approach the gaggle kind of there are several dozen if not more um burly sky piratey individuals these are pirates that are on uh some form of reprieve and have now come clearly brought by the disturbance again not really suspecting um an unidentified unannounced airship arrive if you boys could make way we have uh business with the principe if you will there's like murmurs and what do we do um then from within the gaggle there is a oh do my ears deceive me or is that the great captain veena and emerging from the gaggle is yet another one the ruling leaders a scoundrel less half elven man with somewhat unkempt black hair a bandana around it a fine earrings a bit of a scoundrel you recognize this as a vicon garland rot burner katala ikon katala pleasure i see you're still kicking i see that you have come back because you could not stay away from me yeah that's exactly it you you caught me bud very good very good then i shall take you to your mother immediately i wish to put away any of the unnecessary formality of imprisoning yeah that won't be necessary and i dare you to try of course it will not of course it will not because i am here you know that this that this fellow is like you know he is renowned for being the biggest backstabber that ever backstabbed like like this is a sky pirate with charisma as the primary skill and backstab as the secondary skill even though backstab is not the secondary skill lore backstab yeah yeah so i know the way she in the usual place she is she's here and he does like this like faux bow waving of the hands over please allow me to who are your friends oh is this your new crew hello oran looks at me can i eat that guy later he looks at him and like licks his lips he looks at you and licks his lips let's see who eats first oran i don't i don't you know what it's okay buddy yes this is this is the new crew meet the finest band of bad asses this side of time oh you must introduce me of course well to my right here this is rahua living embodiment of chaos and anarchy ah not quite an anarchite not quite a raw atma i see i see what a fine fine specimen of such a strange species given form it is rare to see one of your kind it's even rare to see someone of me who looks like me as well most anarchs don't even have consistent forms no they don't we often summon them here for sport that is more ulysses game not mine not mine i i respect your kind so much for the wilds that they bring and nobody's wilder than this one to his right is tan hauser former warlord of the sands of golgotha current finest spellcaster i've ever met oh the great tan hauser the one who liberated the citadel only recently i got all the way here how the fuck do you people know that well if you had remembered i have a vast network of balls yeah yeah you are always talking about your balls yeah i remember what i mean and he like laughs crystal balls i have a wide variety of them which i used to speak with many agents and he like does this just like absolutely choreographed like hand motion across the world good then you know something of what i can do to those that displease my captain i do i do i've heard you were once a great warrior and now you are a learned man who can change the elements of time and space around him you have heard correctly i'm sure that one of you ne'er-do-wells will give me plenty occasion to showcase my unique talents i will let you showcase whatever unique talents you want anytime he looks onwards to baldric to his right as baldric baldric the alchemist from outset whose bounty would make even your most cut throat crewmates weep he's made an enemy of the entirety of the tyrant's guild and still lives to tell the tale and of course more dangerous than his reputation are his alchemical bruise ah i almost did not recognize him he must keep the triangle hat somewhere else yeah yeah that's the bit stays the bit i don't know about that well it is a pleasure to meet you anyone who is such an opposition to the establishment you're fine in my books and i have many books for i am a learned man you go to college you'll find here and that's yeah we do not have many colleges my college was the battlefield i'm sorry i hate this npc so much i'm so sorry i have to do this to you but it's a pirate bit i have to oh absolutely you're you're committed and i appreciate it thurston introduces best npc known to man shortly after introduces worst npc known to man the duality of pirate yeah unless there's a lot of learning to be done on the battlefield i think it's all been written before no but i've also found my other place of study is the bedroom okay i'm staying out of that one it's just like she draws him over to the next oh he probably makes pillows yeah he like novelty pillows for like the grandmothers of andazia they've got like yep that's exactly why he makes little heart-shaped pillows little like novelty things like oh look at my weird ugly dog that i have and life-size body pillows of himself true there's so on the inside and last but not least is orin the wild man of the vishal mountains who has tasted of human flesh don't let his small stature fool you he has the heart and might of a dragon and lastly the cannibal and here's my fucking cannibal he's our middle guy and i love him roll up roll up it's time for us to talk about our latest edition to the freak show it's cannibal boy yeah dude these are pirates you're a fucking maniac he he looks at you orin staring at you with a with a smile on his face he kind of like sidles behind everyone going yeah i'll eat you and he hides behind baldric have i done something to offend or scare the boy no orin he has the heart and the might of a dragon i push him out from behind baldric i'll eat you baldric baldric stands still he gets like this when he's hungry oh watch out yeah exactly don't fuck with him or he's just kind of like covering his face with his hood like i'll eat you why would i do that he's a child don't fuck with this guy yeah he's also not really a child that's that's a grown man orin how old are you actually 19 that's a dubiously grown young adult it's a growing boy he's a growing boy but he's still a cannibal he's a growing boy but he looks like he's 42 anyway Venus just like you're really undermining me here guys like you're really I watched him kill a man I watched him eat him alive I haven't said shit well now you just said that no that was Erndel saying that oh my mistake Erndel yeah it's all right Erndel goes back behind the curtain well fine crew such as yours can follow me what is I like to say he turns looks at you Vina come away with me and he turns and starts walking okay thanks bud thumbs up every like movement of this person is meant to just be grating and lecherous but he somehow manages to make a path through the gaggle does he walk away like Axel in Harlem what I'll tell you later Odo okay oh god there's there's there's a shake in his step as he walks yeah we'll we'll leave it at that oh my god I had like an impression that we were like gonna be all tough and start doing the like one walking like that russian animation meme of everyone walking yeah like I thought we were all gonna like walk in here like that but I guess we still could following this guy the words rum and the words death should mean the same to you that's something they say in the thing it's true I saw the movie that's great Baldrick will lean in to Veena I love piracy Veena I take it he's taking all of you to meet your mother for the first time well them for the first time hopefully you not for the first time if you know assumedly would I be better suited elsewhere it's gonna be in the direction of where you're gonna be wanting to go if you want to quietly peel off you're welcome to although I will warn you that the library is pretty heavily guarded so you're going to have to get creative I have no intention of blowing it up don't worry oh of that I have no doubt it's a library I don't blow those up true but be creative don't get caught I'll do my damnedest good luck with your mother thanks you want to give give me a stealth check to break off at the appropriate point baldric I will happily attempt to do that yeah let me roll my 22 stealth yeah please 32 32 you break off from the group and begin to make your way off sort of sort of along like a side path which which runs a bit parallel with the gaggle you're sort of moving to the fringes finding ways to stay unnoticed or at least further back the hall of records which is where the vicomt and other piratical institutes keep their documentation is as Vena described a well guarded structure except currently the guards are not there or at least they've wandered far enough away from their posts seemingly watching from a distance at the ongoing shall we say entertainment that is a new group wandering through town ah okay so this is actually fortuitous very much so very much so it almost seems as though like well who cares about a library at a point like this everyone's sort of like oh captain Vena's back we gotta figure out what's going on here all right assuming I don't need to do another stealth to actually get into the library the hall of records Baldrick is going to get inside and how would you say this place is laid out is it actually fairly well organized or is it just a ramshackle mess of books it is oddly like meticulously organized as you come in there are wooden shelving units with in fact those sort of like riser stairs on wheels that you can cart around it's got three distinct levels to it you can see that there is some kind of symbol based cataloging system that's in play here there are glass cases during which are behind which are display units of certain texts this is not what you were expecting what is this laid out in a foreign language or is it simply a sorting system that I am unfamiliar with the symbols would indicate some kind of sorting system that you are unfamiliar with do you you know what give me a society check sure I'll give you society straight away go my society bite me I'm going to re-roll that because that's a 22 re-roll the hero point all right 36 to the 10 36 it's enough for you to tell that the symbols are actually halfling script fuck's sake all right and and that they're very clearly like short kind of easy halfling glyphs to represent things like family lines purchase history rules and law like categorizing it by different types interesting is it parsable or do am I going to have to spend time studying it for a little bit you're you're able to parse this pretty quick but as you're sort of putting all of this together you distinctly hear footsteps on the stone floor inside with a telltale like not telltale but like a catchy like melody with like a kind of tapping sound as someone is very much move like walking in here your spell check would allow you to remain hidden possibly like hiding behind a like you know any kind of piece of cover whether it's like a shelf or a desk or something like that if you wanted to I mean if it's a pub if it's like a public call of records I don't know why it would be illegal for me to be here no you can stay out yeah coming into view is a halfling woman who is carrying a bundle of scrolls and a book Baldrick will look as natural as possible as he is perusing not he's not touching the shelves he's merely looking at them from a distance as this person comes around he wants to look as as like he is supposed to be here as possible there there's like as soon as she she turns oh oh hello sorry looking for something oh oh what can I be helping you with that's a good question actually I'd very much appreciate some help see I'm looking for some well codes of laws for the city oh okay yeah you'll want to be going over there I can take you come on sure by all means bulgric will politely allow her to lead did one of your crew kill someone no mainly here to study see I'm here on a collegiate effort I'm actually from the city of outset oh that shithole okay no kidding she takes you over to a series of books oh this is mostly galore background settling disputes uh would this be it uh code of conduct up here oh yes this looking at that one pretty recently myself terrific thank you very much I wasn't sure which one we had to go with I very much appreciated miss I guess you're you're not from around here hi hi I'm Vicon Yiza they call me the waterway admiral ah pleasure to meet you Vicon my name is Baldrick Weathers oh pleasure to meet you too I've got to go outside by all means there's going to be a an apprehension can't wait that wouldn't involve me would it no no no no no no just an old captain who fucked up a lot lost a ship gonna see her hang she turns guess I need to read fast then we cut back to the main group you're pushing through the crowds Vina you can see now it's possibly even a couple hundred people who are watching now oh well treffily lost the whole ship she doesn't even have an eye patch doesn't make intense how she lose a ship I could understand if she was missing an eye Vina's gonna the tomatoes start coming oh fuck not the air tomatoes the sky tomatoes do you want me to handle this no I got it sky tomatoes are scary they're airburst you see true uh uh Vina's gonna pull out her dueling pistol and fire a few shots off into the air hey you know there's land somewhere meanwhile that same child we've been following littering oh that child's gonna make so much money it's it's just like when my mother like had a big log that hunters would shoot at they're gonna collect all the pellets you see there were two reactionary people soldiers of the oppressive regime that had him cornered but those bullets land just perfectly to save that child no that's right speaker the bullets land perfectly in in the soldier's gun so they can shoot the child that's brilliant splendid that child will go on to dream up a crew of cut throat poppet all right baby the crowd does kind of kind of stop a bit giving you a chance should you wish to try to intimidate them you know use your use those face skills face I know finally yeah Vena's going to fire a couple of shots off into the air and just don't you have something better to do fuck off or the next one goes to you and I will roll intimidation I will admit I am better at lying and diplomancing than I am intimidating but uh it's still pretty decent well oh that's a 35 for you that'll do well they like pull back okay I mean I mean airship isn't that big I mean you could lose it I could understand that it was only a little one maybe it was the model airship that she they hold their fingers very close it goes only a little one well done captain thanks you were really really scary you think so tanny yeah I got shivers down my spine oh and that is when a sigh an audible sigh cuts through the air and cuts mostly into Veena's soul like the most disappointed sigh that only a mother could have over a child's petulant actions everything goes quiet and there is just the clattering of healed boots walking across the wooden planks the crowd parting immediately see blue skinned elven woman approaches fine fine clothing of immaculate make and maintenance is towering a figure doesn't even have to push or indicate people to move they move just at her presence and Veena it's when your mom shows up my mom and she looks just with this piercing stare at you and like then down to your pistols still all substance mother captain where's the show i can give him a show but i had more important no you had the chance you didn't the first thing about being a proper pirate is to give them the show i remember that for next time no you won't you never do each word a knife to the heart and who what are these my crew oh that makes sense mother i am not going to dignify that you know what you being back here means right there's a shadow overhead as the whale passes over and lands far off in the distance well there's vicon shark skin after running away in fear running away in fear he was tailing you here well he didn't want to accept the duel that i challenged him to so i think even he knows exactly how much i have grown since you and i last spoke oh is that why you're here in a pleasure yacht a pleasure yacht stolen from one of the nobles of outset as he blubbered and cried for mercy oh is your lack of cannons going to do that to other ships do you want to see what it can do to other ships she looks at you again sort of looking down looking up shakes her head again all substance no show you need the show i'm not here for a lecture i'm here because i have important business and the fate of the fucking world hangs in the balance i don't know if you've noticed a distinct lack of breeze from papa storm recently there's like uneasy eyes in the crowd just like looking around and i noticed that too yeah normally my hair's pushing a lot more my hair isn't nearly as disheveled as it's supposed to be well you know and this is this is when the brat burner well you know we have heard and seen for ourselves some of the the effects it could be and like captain volley just gives him the the sternest look and he gets quiet immediately i'm very i'm so sorry but yes we have noticed that i'm assuming that's something you were involved in i was on the ground floor of it when we stared down an avatar of uncle blaze and saw what the parasites of outset were planning to do with the old powers and you let it happen at least you're home and we can make things right that is what i'm here to do guards and like there's like this thumping of boots at that um baldrick give me a give me a legal lore test please okay what am i rolling for that outset law lore all right it'll count i guess this place is just as bad as outset so maybe it works oh bite me hard that's a two oh no do i have a hero point left you do it looks like you do you have you have my pity point as well okay how am i gonna make that up to you you're gonna have to add a complication to it is what's gonna happen okay that's right let me see if i've got a complication available yes good oops sorry wrong one i was on i was on the wrong complication sheet sorry okay sing it with this chat all right fine i'll i'll i'll do that with a re-roll and i'll give you a complication thurston beautiful i love it do it uh shall i roll first or complication first roll first then you can tell me okay i will i will i will re-roll this using my free piteous point good thing too because it's a 36 again this time very good and the complication is who put that there by berg 4077 while attempting to do something a character stubs their toe stroke hits their funny bone or appropriate equivalent on a heretofore unseen object is that acceptable to you thurston that is extremely extremely acceptable to me uh you go you start pouring through the document trying to find anything you can um about you know laws pertaining to losses of ships and and dossier legal um legal woes um now what you find is that someone up to and including a vicomte who has their who loses their ship uh or in the case of a fleet mistress the majority of their fleet um they would normally be penalized depending on the method of which the ship was lost that penalty typically leading to death as and dossier is very very protective of its few uh homegrown ships that being said um a vicomnd can attempt to petition or or a person who's had their ship uh lost in such a way and this is this is a this is the secret sauce you find they can petition um the leading vicomns to overturn the decision in a vote but in order to do that they must have one of the vicomns sponsor them and that sponsorship essentially gives them three days in which to turn the tide of opinion hmm sounds to me like we have to pick a vicomnd who would not want to see vena dead of which there are maybe two of the ones we've seen but you also know that unless this this act is invoked and known about um and it is a very obscure uh like article um then the person could be executed up to immediately hmm baldrick will he will take the book with him rather than simply citing a vague law that nobody knows about and he's aware that this is going to probably cause some issues and i presume in doing so he's going to wang his head on uh like some kind of some kind of steam pipe that just erupts out of nowhere thurston as has been the case every time yeah yeah um absolutely absolutely um and as that happens damn it to hell stupid fucking visor you carry on you drop something but you don't realize you've dropped oh oh no my wallet with all three of my gold in it and that three gold helps kickstart another resistant cell due to the child true that gold that was the make a wish foundation that's how the child was able to start it's yeah true but with that you make your way out as you do make your way out you can see the the like the the the gathering and you actually would like come out to the shout of guards oh terrific all right and baldric is going to stomp his way purposefully through the crowd yeah at this point you see your your allies like vena rahua or and um tan hauser all sort of like i assume like secret servicing around vena um yeah as as like a host of these like pretty well armed pretty pretty skilled soldiers begin to advance hold hold i said hold there's a pause everyone sort of looks over ah the bucket man is here what's going on here i step away for five damn minutes and she's already being accosted by guards what's happening um at this point the the halfling sort of comes forward oh well the law's the law her mother can declare it thus her life is forfeit ah thank you vikon that actually was very helpful for me to understand because as far as i'm aware stating penal code and baldrick is going to pull out the book at this point and flip to the relevant page does this have a name associated with it thurston or shall i make something up you you can make something up i trust you to make a pirate code loss yes when you pull it out can like all like the pirates around be like the code i thought you were gonna say all the pirates groan because someone's about to read legal precedent oh come on all right simmer down simmer down penal code to 35 lagren's law any captain or vicond found guilty of losing a ship or any such breach of law or trust is entitled to be sponsored by a vicond and is allotted three days time to attempt to sway a vote in favor of her or his in this case her potential stay of i'm going to assume you're going to kill her so we'll say stay of execution and he will hold the book up pointing to the very small text yeah they all like he knows how to read yeah he knows how to read whoa oh no that's a code reader boy take your head off another sigh yes captain volley speaks yes that is true but you would need someone to actually sponsor such foolishness well anyone which one of you vicons wants to help save the fucking world huh one of you step up the halfling looks away um thurston while they're doing this can i can i continue to search through this book to find any sort of allotment for time to find someone who would actually give a shit about this absolutely absolutely okay i'm gonna roll out set law then check um and like and like you like like the halfling has disappeared into the crowd like you look over at like rot burner who's like well i am a betrayer so i am uh sorry 26 give me anything or should i should i hero point that with my final hero point because i have been rolling like caca no you can you can hero point it so it's not good enough all right i will go again with my last go again that's significantly better thank you for the 35 yay the 35 is enough for you to tell um that the timing on this is generally you would need a vicon to sponsor immediately if you don't have one um ready to go you're up shits creek and there is nothing nothing at all about the circumstances surrounding this oh no oh no nothing um and you're you're desperately paging through trying to find something vina you see that rot burner has now like this smile there's like kind of like blood thirsty eyed like ah violence um the halfling has disappeared the only other option now appears to be your mother wait where's shark skin he's on a whale he's on his whale oh he's not here the whale landed far further away it was a while ago he's a bit a while he's a bit a he's a bit away i'm going to uh um i'm gonna kind of try to shoulder my way past the uh guards and i'm going to walk up to the dread captain volley i am going to grab hold of her cravat and i'm going to attempt to kind of yank her down to my level listen i'm not here to clear my name i don't give a shit what you think about me i am here for one purpose and one purpose only and i can't do that from the grave dying doesn't scare me mom i've stared death in the face twice i'm gonna uh like pull down my coat a little bit and show do i still have like any scarring from where i got shot by the martinet cardoza's bullet ended my life and then i stood up and i kept walking because i've got a destiny god damn it and i'm here to see it through to the end so if you want me to prove it if you want me to prove that i'm not the same moron who lost my ship those however long this game has been going on time ago then you give me a chance to prove it with my sword captain volley looks at you into your eyes there's like the locked eyes moment keep going however you need it by sword by prowess by silver tongue whatever you need i'll do it the dread captain volley lets out a sigh her lips curling as her mouth moves to make a response but before the words come out something else comes oh wow a child who didn't die well i gotta help yeah that's like what i want to know yeah as vicond sharkskin walks down all of the people moving in terror from this like fucking tiny puppet walking down the street yeah oh watch you weenia and that is where we will call today's episode yay what a beautiful all right i hope everyone had a wonderful time thank you all so much for watching this episode of rock grind we'll see you all next time so long farewell be sure to follow everyone's socials down below goodbye goodbye bye bye bye doxity doxity doxity doxity doxity doxity doxity