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Sam Bennett – The 15-Minute Method · Vox Novus with Victor Fuhrman

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Vox Novus, the new Voice, vox Novus, the new Dimension, vox
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Novus thought and movement leaders who will share from their experience and offer tools to
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help us navigate our rapidly changing world. My name is Victor Furman. Welcome
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to vox Novus, the New Voice. Have you got a to do list
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that grows daily with virtually nothing getting accomplished? Or are you the type who
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pushes themselves to get it done with similar futile results. What if there were
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a fifteen minute method to reset these tendencies and move forward every day? My
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guests this week on vox Novis Sam Bennett says, little, tiny changes,
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the kind that we can make in fifteen minutes are enough to move the needle
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on our levels of joy and satisfaction and ultimately change our lives. A writer,
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speaker, actor, and creativity productivity specialist, she's the founder of therealsam
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Bennett dot com, a company committed to helping overwhelmed creatives and frustrated overachievers get
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unstuck. Sam is also a popular course instructor on LinkedIn Learning with over a
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million class participants worldwide. She joins me this week to share her experience and
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new book The Fifteen Minute Method, The surprisingly simple Art of Getting It Done.
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Please join me in welcoming back, Sam Bennett. Welcome back, Sam.
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Thank you so much for having me. Great to be here. Been
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way too long. It's been eight years since our last recorded conversation. It's
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really amazing. So since it's been a few years since our last conversation,
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please share with our listeners meeting you for the first time, how your personal
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path, including one that had had frustration and and and other things that that
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slowed you down, led to major changes and the wisdom that you bring to
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the world. Oh my goodness, that's a big question. Let's see.
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I started out as an actor. I was one of those kids who you
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know, did plays in the living room, in the backyard. I went
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to theater camp and went on to pursue a career in theater and film and
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television, and I had a wonderful you know, I recommend it highly.
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If there's any parents out there and you're worried because your child is threatening to
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pursue a career in the performing arts, don't fret. First of all,
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answers are they won't make a career out of it, But what they learn
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along the way about communication, the ability to stand up in front of a
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room and talk at all, you know, working with other people, emotional
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intelligence of body language, the energy management ensemble, working with other people,
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teamwork. It's amazing, it's it's it's one and some of the most wonderful
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people in the world. So I was, you know, paddling along having
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one of those acting careers that went well enough that you didn't want to give
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up on it, but not so well as to be able to support a
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person. And along the way, I started teaching a class called Get It
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Done because I got really interested in this question of how to highly creative people
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make decisions. How do people who have a lot of ideas decide which idea
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to pursue. How do you do well when there is no defined path?
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You know, there's no there's no right way to be a writer or be
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an artist, or be an actor, or be a parent, or be
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an entrepreneur or be a friend. There's no right way. There's just your
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way. And as it happens, there's a little quirk of my mind that
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every time I get in front of a question like that, I'm like,
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well, how would you know? How would you decide and then I like
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to make up little worksheets and exercises and games and questions, stimulating questions that
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lead people to their own answers. And that all ended up being so much
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fun that I wrote a book about it, and then I wrote another book,
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and now I've got the new book, and it's all about helping overthinkers,
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highly creative people, recovering perfectionists, neurospicies of all types spend some time
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on the work that matters most to them. The last time you were on,
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we discussed your book, Start Write where you Are? What inspired that
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book and what did you share with readers? So start Right where you Are
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was my second book. The first book, Get It Done, is really
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sort of project management for highly creative people, because you know, I kept
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reading all these books about organization and time management and you know, how to
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keep it together, but you know, artists don't care who's moved their cheese.
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That's that's not really our thing. So and then start right where you
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are. My second book was more about the inner work right if Get It
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Done is sort of more the external work, the project management part of it.
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Start Right where you Are is more about the inner work, and it's
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a series of a bunch of little, teeny tiny chapters. I think there's
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sixty seven chapters or something, and each one has a little action step that
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you could do right in that moment. Because the thing I really wanted people
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to wrap their heads around is personal transformation, or the journey of transforming your
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life into a life that you love and care about, is not something that
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happens in big leaps, and it's not something that happens later. It's something
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that you do for yourself right now, in this present moment. You adjust
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your mindset right now, you get into a state of gratitude right now,
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you start, you know, you want to lead a decluttered life, Start
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decluttering right now. You want a healthier body, make the choices that a
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healthy body makes right now. And it's really about taking small bites, as
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the television commercial use to say, take small bites. That's right, Eat
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an elephant, right, yeah, Because there's really you know, there's the
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old jo about the husband and wife who said, you know, he said,
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oh when we started our marriage, I said, okay, you take
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care of the little decisions and I'll take care of all the big decisions.
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And then it turns out that there are no big decisions. Congratulations on your
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just published new book, The fifteen Minute Method. What inspired that book?
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So, this fifteen minute thing is something I've been talking about for years.
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It's part of again, part of the first book, It's in the second
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book too. I maintain that if you spend fifteen minutes a day, every
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single day on something that matters to you, your life will get radically better,
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exponentially better, disproportionate to the amount of time you're spending. And then
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I got a chance to prove it to myself. Life sometimes takes you up
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on your bets. Two and a half years ago, I got long haul
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COVID, and if you know anybody with long haul, be nice to them.
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But all of a sudden, my body couldn't do much more than fifteen
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minutes some days. And I found out that I could still run a business,
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I could still write books, I could still have relationships with my friends,
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even if it was just in fifteen minutes a day. So, for
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all of the daughters out there, can we really get it done in fifteen
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minutes a day? I know it sounds silly, doesn't It seems so,
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But it's sort of subversively simple. What I notice is that it is kind
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of amazing how much you can get done in fifteen minutes a day, especially
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when you're doing it every day for a week or a month, or a
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year, year or six years or sixty years. And intellectually it sort of
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makes sense. We figure, Oh, yes, if I picked up a
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guitar and played it every day for fifteen minutes a day, yeah, I
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can see that in not very long of a time, I would be a
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better guitar player. But there are some things that are dearer to our heart
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or seem too big, you know, like I want to write a book,
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I need to clean out the basement, I want to go to Paris.
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I you know that can't happen in fifteen minutes a day, except it
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kind of can. And so I really I encourage people to give it a
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try, right because right now you're spending all day every day getting everything done
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for everybody else, which is you know you're a good person's that's that's fine.
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But the things that you know really matter to you, you aren't even
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making it on the list. So I want to turn that on its head.
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I want you to spend fifteen minutes a day on something that matters to
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you every single day, and then go on and do everything else for everybody
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else. Right that when you keep your own inner flame lit, when you
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demonstrate to yourself that you value yourself. Right, we build trust and esteem
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with other people by keeping our promises to them. We build self trust,
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self esteem, and self respect by keeping our promises to ourselves. So to
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spend that fifteen minutes every single day on something that matters to you, it
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turns to you suddenly there's a light in your eyes. You know you're calmer,
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you're less reactive, you have a little spring in your step. It's
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delightful, it's amazing. Please share a few additional examples of this well.
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I have one client who had moved to be with her ailing mother in the
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last years of her mother's life, and then her mother passed and she was
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left with this entire house of all her mother's stuff, and she was feeling
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really overwhelmed about what to do about it all. But she was a client
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of mine, so she started the fifteen minutes, and she started in her
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mother's office, going through her mother's papers and things, and found sure enough
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that even in just fifteen minutes a day, she was making really good,
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steady progress, it was, and that sort of had of self reinforcing,
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like, okay, this is you know, I can't do everything today,
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but I can do this much, this much, this much, this much.
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While she's cleaning out her mother's office, she finds her mother's albums.
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For those of you who are younger, albums are how we used to listen
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to music. And so she started to put on an album during her fifteen
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minutes, which sort of reignited some of her love of music. And then
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she finds this box of stationary and that beautiful old school stationary, like they
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don't make it like that anymore, and again, for the young people,
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stationary is how we used to stay in touch before texting. And so then
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she starts writing letters every day, and then she's got to take the letters
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out of the mailbox, which means now she's meeting her neighbors and making friends
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with the dog in the yard next door, and like her whole life starts
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to get illuminated through this simple daily practice of just wanting to clear out her
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mother's files. Beautiful, beautiful, But what if, like so many of
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us, we have a preponderance of ideas and can't pick just one. That's
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the beauty of this, right, so terrific. That's wonderful to have a
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lot of ideas. Go ahead and make a list of as many as you
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can think of, and then pick one. Try it out, see how
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you feel. Maybe if it feels good, stick with it for a little
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bit, see where it takes you. Doesn't feel good, great, move
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on to the next one. But give it a chance. You know.
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I often talk to people who are like, oh, say I have a
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million ideas, and I'm like, okay, tell me them, no,
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no, there's a million. I'm like, I get it. Tell me
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well. It usually turns out there's like six or seven, But when they
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stay inside your head, they feel like a million because you're running through it
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all the time. Right, You're going, well, I could do idea
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number one, but what about idea number four? Oh but I really love
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idea number three? But what about six? But what about two? But
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what about one? But what about two? I really love too write this
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was? What makes it feel like a million? You get it on paper.
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You may get that list and you realize, okay, two of these
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ideas, I actually don't care about it all. I just think I should
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care about them, and now that I'm looking at it, now that I'm
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spending fifteen minutes just staring at a blank piece of paper, which is not
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a bad way to start. Fifteen minutes of enforced never hurt a person.
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You might find one of them really calling out to you. It may be
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that you haven't been able to decide because you haven't given yourself space and time
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to decide. And it helps scotches right over your perfectionism because it's only fifteen
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minutes. How perfect is it going to be? And you're going to do
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it again tomorrow, so you know, play around, you share that this
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fifteen minute strategy helps those with attention deficit disorder, neurospicy, the gifted,
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and other highly created people. First of all, what's neurospicy? Neurospicy is
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my sort of joking blanket term for this specter. One of the wonderful things
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that's come out in the last bunch of years is this understanding that there really
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isn't a normal brain, particularly and our brains run along a spectrum, and
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people have different skills and talents, and sometimes we call it autism or aspergers,
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or high functioning or low functioning or add or ADHD. So you're a
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highly creative people giftedness like, oh, there's a ton of names, and
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I'm not particular. I don't care what you call it, as long as
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it makes sense to you. But there are definitely those of us for whom
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the world is not exactly designed for us. You know, we're a little
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we're a little extra. And what I find So, I have a thing
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that you'll see it on my website. It's called the Daily Practicum and every
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weekday at twelve noon Eastern, it's a subscription thing. People pay, we
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hop onto zoom, say hi. I start the timer for fifteen minutes,
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everybody puts their head down. Fifteen minutes later, timer goes off. And
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I'm telling you, people look up at me with this post orgasmic glow,
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opleased with themselves, and every one of them is like, you won't believe
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it. You know. I sat in the garden with the sun in my
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face for fifteen minutes. I reached out to that person that I've been meaning
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to talk to. I returned that email that I've been sitting on for six
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weeks. I wrote, I wrote poetry, I wrote music. I just
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communed with my animal. I mean, whatever it is that lights you up.
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Spending fifteen minutes on it is both calmbing and energizing. And this thing
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of doing it in a group, even a virtual group, has a ton
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of benefits. Yeah, especially for add and ADHD. It's sometimes you'll hear
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it referred to as parallel play or body doubling. But what I think it
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really has to do with is the fact that we are tribal animals. We
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like to be in a group, and our feelings are contagious. If we
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were in a room every of people, you know, being industrious, we
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will be more industrious. If we are in a room full of people complaining,
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we will start complaining. If we are in a room of people being
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joyful and smiling, we will feel more joyful and smiling. It's just how
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we're made. Our mirror neurons do that for us. So this fifteen minutes
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of knowing that it's on your calendar that really helps. There's other people there,
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that really helps. There is this energetic feeling of like, Okay,
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we're all going to do this together. That really helps. Mommy's noticing that
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can really help. And again it's only fifteen minutes. You don't have to
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you know you're not signing the rest of your life away. You say that
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overwhelmed seems like an outside problem, but it's actually an inside problem. Please
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tell us more about that. Yeah, I hear this a lot from people
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that they're so overwhelmed, They're so overwhelmed, they're so overwhelm, and it
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does. It sounds like it's the conditions of your life that are overwhelming you.
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But it's not in the same way that time management is not about time,
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right, we all get the same twenty four hours. Time management is
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not about time. Time management is about personal management. Overwhelmed is not about
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what is happening around you. And we can tell because when we look at
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people who are in chronically overwhelming conditions, you know, people who work in
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the er, people who are first responders. I was just on a news
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show the other day and the broadcaster said, oh, like, when we're
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reporting on you know, some terrible tragedy or some fire or some you know,
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breaking news, some event that's just to have unfolding as we're talking about
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it. I'm like, right, that for many people that would seem like
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an overwhelming thing, But you, yourself are not overwhelmed because it is your
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job. Right. So those people in the er, they're not overwhelmed.
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They're fine, they're called, they're doing their job. They often have a
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really great, if slightly grim, sense of humor, you know. So
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it is not the outside that overwhelms you. It's the inside that overwhelms you.
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And the great news is you have control over that. You gave the
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news. Example, I remember seeing live Walter Cronkite announcing the assassination and death
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of President John F. Kennedy, and he did it with such composure.
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You could tell the compassion, you could tell the pain. But it was
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his professional job to get that word out, and he had such composure while
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he did it. It was remarkable. It's amazing. I've seen that clip
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and it's so moving and so dignified, and yeah, he must have been
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swamped, you know, and yet it was his job. So and the
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expression on his face when we first walked on the moon he delivered that story
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amazing, amazing. I have many friends who are compulsive perfectionists, and this
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inhibits them from getting anything done. You share that the fifteen minute method will
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actually defeat this. Tell us about that, well, it just sort of
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hopscotches right over your perfectionism right cause it's fifteen minutes. I mean, how
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perfect is it going to be? You know, and you're going to do
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it again tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next day
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and the next day. And what I noticed from my perfectionist friends is that
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there is a real trap there. You know, when an idea stays in
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the hermetically sealed box in your mind, it can stay perfect. You know.
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It's a little bit like imagining the perfect partner or the perfect child,
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Like it's beautiful. The imagining is beautiful, but it's not real. When
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you finally open up that box and let that idea out into the world,
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or let that pursuit of a partner out into the world, or that pursuit
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of a child out into the world, like, yeah, it gets less
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perfect, but it also gets more real and it can start to have an
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effect on you and on the world. There's this wonderful alchemy of efforts.
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You know, when you start putting time and energy into something that matters to
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you, it feeds you and it fuels you. And then if you let
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it out of the house so other people can experience, they are also changed.
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And then you're changed because they were changed, and now we've got this
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sort of beautiful infinity, sort of moibis strip going of energy and effort and
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impact. And will it be perfect? Well, not in the sense of
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flawless, But why would you care about that? I mean, do you
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love the people in your life because they're perfect people? I don't think so.
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Is your favorite song a perfect song? Is your favorite book a perfect
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book? Your favorite movie? My favorite movies are on No. One's list
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of top favorite best, you know, but I love them because they speak
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to me, because they move me, because they light me up. And
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you can have that effect too. So partly what I might say is again,
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fifteen minutes, play around with it, and what might be a better
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result than perfect? Would it be better to have it be friendly, to
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have it be wild, to have it be provocative, to have it be
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precise, to have it be I don't know, like a big hug,
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like I don't know what you want, you know, I don't know what
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you all are up to or the effect you wanted to have, But I
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bet you can think of something more interesting than perfect. Absolutely. My guest
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is Sam Bennett. We're talking about her new book, The Fifteen Minute Method.
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The surprisingly simple art of getting it done. Sam, Please share with
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our listeners where they can get your books and find out more about you and
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your work. Thank you. The books are available wherever you like to buy
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books, and they're available in all formats, including Kindle and audiobook. I
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did the audio narration myself, so I'm particularly fond of that format. But
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whatever way you like your books, you can get them. They're also available
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at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, your local bookseller, and you can find
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me at Therealsam Bennett dot com. And we'll be back with more of Sam
23:42
after these words on the Own Times Radio Network, the best of the holistic,
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spiritual, and conscious world Own Times Radio I own FM. Ome Times
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Magazine is one of the leading online content providers of positivity, wellness, personal
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and Human Services, and the ad Council. Back on Vox Novis, My
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guest this week is Sam Bennett. We're talking about her brand new book,
25:26
The Fifteen Minute Method, The Surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done. Sam,
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what is the zone of creative genius and does everyone really have one?
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Oh? Yes, yes they do. And I have to start with a
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little hat tip to Gay Hendrix and his work in The Big Leap and Zones
25:49
of on Zones of Genius. If you haven't read Gay Hendrix's work, I
25:53
highly recommend everyone has a zone of genius. Most people, in fact,
26:00
to have multiple zones of genius. And yours might be a little invisible to
26:04
you because it's come so naturally to you. So a way to think about
26:11
it is it's the things that you've always been naturally good at, you've always
26:15
been naturally interested in. Sometimes I imagine like if we were back in cave
26:19
dwelling times, or you know, in small groups, there would be some
26:26
people in the group who were more interested in tending to the children, and
26:30
some people in the group who were more interested in medicine and being healers,
26:36
and some people in the group who were more interested in going over that hill
26:38
to see what's over there. Right, we are, and that's good because
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that's how we survive is as a group, and we have these sort of
26:47
complimentary skill sets and interests that make a society a community. It may be
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the thing that you get a lot of praise for and you think, well,
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come on, I mean everybody can do this. No, no,
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they can't. Just you. And my final recommendation for how to figure out
27:07
your own genius is if someone were to wake you up at three in the
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morning and say, hey, hey, Victor, hey, hey, hey,
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hey you we're gonna go do XYZ. Do you want to come?
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And you would be like, oh, yes, yes, yes, where
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are my shoes, Yes, I'm coming, I'm on my way right.
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Like, what is that thing that you would get up and do no matter
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what because you like it so well? Well, I can't address that specifically
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because when I get up at three o'clock in the morning, it's to relieve
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myself. But I understand completely what you're talking about, you know, in
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that vein, I was one of those people who, up until my fifties,
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had difficulty saying no to anyone, even at the expense of my health.
27:49
In fact, to this day, when my wife asked me before I
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go to bed, did you take your life six? I said, absolutely,
27:55
darling, because I'm a pee pill pleaser. But that's another story.
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What do you share with people pleasers? How do they get out of that?
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Well? First of all I want to acknowledge, the self identified people
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pleasers of the world. We are grateful to you. We are grateful for
28:14
your kindness. We are grateful that you are willing to put other people in
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front of you, that you're willing to set your own desires and opinions aside.
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That's beautiful, right, That is an excellent Those are all excellent qualities.
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You're just overdoing it a bit. Right. If you're overdoing it to
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the point where you no longer acknowledge your own desires or opinions, or you
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never voice your desires or opinions, or you never take time for yourself,
28:47
you've taken a good thing too far and it's going to start to have,
28:49
if it hasn't already a destructive impact on you and your relationships. So I
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invite you to put yourself back on your list, at least for fifteen minutes,
29:07
and just start to see what happens. The ability to hear your own
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voice, to acknowledge that which is important to you, because you know,
29:19
true productivity is not about getting more done, It's about getting more of what
29:26
matters done. And I don't know anyone who you know. If we had
29:37
crossed over to the other side and we're eavesdropping on our own memorial service.
29:41
I think we would all be a little disappointed if everyone was standing around saying,
29:45
well, she certainly was exquisitely well behaved. He never took a risk
29:53
or put a foot wrong, never once, you know, like her tile
29:59
grout was in peckable, Like that's not really I think what we want people
30:03
saying. I think we want people saying, gosh, you got every job
30:10
at Juice out of that orange. You know, yeah, absolutely, you
30:14
know. When I finally learned the importance of saying the word no when appropriate,
30:22
this little poem came through me meashare that with you please? It's called
30:26
the healing power of no. A time comes for choosing rather than losing the
30:33
essence that makes us so, and in the bestowing. There's power in knowing
30:40
the freedom that comes with no, when said with compassion, not angry,
30:45
in fashion and letting the self love flow, there's a sense of renewing and
30:52
deep soul imbuing the awareness that comes with no. So with gentle voice and
31:00
the power of choice and the courage to make it so. I'm still here,
31:04
my friends. There's no means in this end, just the healing that
31:10
comes with no. I love it. That's great. There's a little section
31:17
in the book, actually, there's a chapter called how to Say No Without
31:21
Punishment, and it offers a bunch of different ways to say no, because
31:26
you know, for some of us, just saying plain old no can be
31:30
challenging. So it just offers you a bunch of options, including things like,
31:36
you know, well, thank you so much for thinking of me.
31:37
I'm not available, but please do ask me again sometime right or you know
31:45
that's not possible for me, or I'm not available for that right now.
31:48
But then there's other ones like oh that sounds awful, no yeah, or
31:56
or like we say in Hollywood, hard pass, hard pass, we're going
32:00
to pass. I'm going to pass on that right now. I have another
32:04
friend who says when somebody asked or something she doesn't want to do, she'll
32:07
go, oh, you're so cute. That's her way of saying no,
32:13
you're so cute. That's funny. You know, if someone has a genuine
32:16
need, I mean truly genuine need, I will never turn that down.
32:20
But people were taking advantage of my willingness to do just about anything, and
32:24
some of them could have done them themselves, and also that could have been
32:28
one of their fifteen minute exercises, right, that's right. I mean,
32:32
are you depriving someone else of the opportunity to be of service when you say
32:37
yes to everything all the time? You share that being busy is a narcotic?
32:44
How so hmmm. For so long, busy was my second favorite narcotic
32:52
because if one is sufficiently busy, then the only feeling one has to have
33:00
is tired. It was a great way to avoid some painful situations and circumstances
33:08
and relationships in my life. And there is you know, we were talking
33:17
about perfectionism earlier. Perfectionism and busy both are This is gonna I'm concerned about
33:24
saying this because I'm afraid it's gonna sound a little harsh. But maybe I
33:28
mean it to sound a little harsh to me. Those words have just a
33:31
little tone of superiority to them, you know, this bit of like,
33:39
oh, I'm so you know, I'm so busy, I'm so busy.
33:43
There's the subtext of like I'm so needed and necessary, I'm so in demand,
33:47
i am so self sacrificing for others, Like I don't know, I'm
33:52
like I kind of want to go get off it, you know, like,
33:54
of course you're busy. We're all busy. Everybody gets the same twenty
33:57
four hours, we're all filling the time. You're tired at the end of
34:00
the day. No matter what, you don't get extra points for busy.
34:05
All busy tells me is you don't know how to control your schedule. So
34:10
I really recommend dropping it. Just stop saying the word. People say how
34:16
are you? Don't say busy, say fulfilled, thanks for asking, say
34:23
enchanted by life? Thank you, say you know, how are you marvelous?
34:29
You? You know, like, just move past it, think,
34:32
think of something more interesting to say. Then again, something more interesting than
34:37
perfect, and something more interesting than busy. Is there busy anonymous? Oh
34:44
not yet, but I think we should start, will start the first chapter
34:47
in our desire to do well and succeed? Is that holding us back?
34:55
Yeah? I think so. Sometimes again it's it's a it's a fine impulse
35:00
that's just gone a little too far, right. I mean, I was
35:04
just teaching earlier today about how are our natural desire again to do well,
35:10
to be seen to do well, can turn into a crippling self consciousness and
35:21
an intense focus on the wrong things. I was reflecting just yesterday about how
35:31
I used to hear when I was growing up, you know, like,
35:34
well, you always have to wear good underwear in case you're in an accident.
35:38
I remember, right, which is a terrible thing to say to what
35:43
an aldful thing. First of all, if I'm in an accident, I
35:45
hope that the condition of my underwear is the last thing that people are concerned
35:50
about. And even if I tried to make it into a better story to
35:53
say like, well, you should always wear good underwear because you might meet
35:57
someone that you you know, want to have intimate relationships with, I'm like,
36:00
well, again, if I meet that person and we're having that moment,
36:05
I hope that the condition of my underwear is not the thing we're both
36:08
focusing on. And this idea of like, oh I need to be impeccable
36:16
at all times, it can be a really vicious pair of handcuffs. So
36:22
I kind of want to I don't know this whole book really is about,
36:29
and I think the whole personal development movement is really about learning to be a
36:34
really great parent to yourself. Some of us were fortunate to have great parents
36:40
growing up. Some of us did not have great parents growing up. But
36:45
we're adults now. We have the opportunity to be great parents to ourselves.
36:51
And that means sometimes holding the line and saying, you made a commitment,
36:58
you need to see it through, you need to self manage better, let's
37:01
look at this again, let's do better next time, and being loving and
37:07
forgiving and saying, oh sweetheart, take a rest, darling, don't worry
37:13
about it. It's okay. I love you, I'm here for you.
37:16
Right That balance of unqualified love and acceptance that we want to have for ourselves
37:25
stretched out underwear and all, and that desire to do well and be good
37:34
and have our life matter, and that sometimes that means having a serious conversation
37:39
with ourselves. So we're in a position, we're employed in a job that
37:45
we absolutely can't stand, or are treated poorly by the people we work for.
37:53
When do we know how to quit? That's right there, right now.
38:00
You already know, you already know. I mean, if you're in
38:05
a place where you're being underpaid and underappreciated, there's a lot. I don't
38:10
buy the line about oh, there's it's hard to find good jobs. No,
38:13
it's not. You're smart, You have skills, spend fifteen minutes a
38:17
day finding your way out of a bad situation. Don't stay where you are
38:22
tolerated, go where you are celebrated. I also will tell you I have
38:29
a fantasy, I have a secret fantasy about this book, that the fifteen
38:31
minute method will become like this global phenomena, and that businesses will start putting
38:38
it as just a part of the normal daily practice that you know, every
38:44
morning from nine to nine fifteen, or every day at noon, or you
38:47
know, when I do the daily practicum, whatever it is, that it
38:51
is encouraged and in fact insisted upon, that everybody in the office spend fifteen
38:55
minutes a day again on something that matters to them. It may or may
39:00
not matter to anyone else, It may or may not matter to the business.
39:04
This is not time for you to check your email or you know,
39:07
make progress on your to do list. This is time for you to pursue
39:15
an interest, or a skill, or a talent, or just a desire.
39:22
And what I find again is when you give people those that time to
39:25
reconnect with their own true selves, the rest of the day goes a lot
39:30
better, you know, and especially in an office where it's so easy to
39:35
develop these little petty jealousies and rivalries and oh that jerk chuck down int accounting.
39:42
You know. But if we're doing this fifteen minute thing and I find
39:46
out that that jerk Chuck also does needle point, well I do needle point.
39:54
And now we've got something in common. Well, now I want to
39:57
talk like, what are you doing? What are you working on? Have
40:00
you done a rug? I did a rug. You know, it might
40:04
still be a competitive relationship, but at least we've got something to talk about.
40:07
And there's studies that show that if you have people in a meeting,
40:12
share at the top of the meeting a little bit about themselves, who they
40:15
are as people, not just who they are in the business. I'm not
40:19
just Sam from sales. I can say I'm Sam from sales, and my
40:22
grandmother was Swedish, and I love to and I believe that toll House Chocolate
40:28
Ship cookies are the best cookies, and I won't hear any argument about it.
40:32
Not only does this give me new ways to connect with other people in
40:36
the room, but people will have better ideas because you have reminded them of
40:42
the fullness of themselves. They're not just coming to the meeting with their sales
40:46
hat on. They're coming to the meeting bringing their whole self to work.
40:51
And in a world where seventy seven percent of employees are disengaged, that's an
40:58
expensive problem. And I think it's worth spending fifteen minutes to get people re
41:02
engaged honestly in anything. And it brings about authentic presence. Exactly what is
41:10
the alchemy of effort and how does that work? Yeah, that's that moibus
41:16
strip I was talking about. That's that that infinite loop of you know,
41:22
we have these thoughts and feelings about our ideas when they're inside bonging around our
41:25
heads, but the minute you put it on paper, it changes. And
41:31
I encourage people to do this little thing, and I'll encourage you all to
41:35
do it right now. It's the very creative name of ninety second doodle.
41:43
And what this is is you take a situation that's tough, that's upsetting,
41:47
that seems unsolvable maybe, and just grab a pen and a piece of scrap
41:54
paper or an index card, and just spend ninety seconds making a doodle about
41:59
how it feels. This is not about making art. No one's ever going
42:02
to see it. It's just like stick figures and shapes are fine. Just
42:07
make the picture of what does it feel like? That exercise alone can be
42:15
really really illuminating. You know, it's one thing to say, oh,
42:20
I feel frustrated at work. It's another thing for me to look at a
42:23
doodle that I have just drawn of a giant boulder crushing me. You know
42:30
that's different. And then you really want to go for it. Turn it
42:36
over and do another ninety second doodle on how you would like it to feel.
42:40
What would you love to have this feel like? And again, just
42:43
stick figures in shapes. And could you imagine if you went into your supervisor
42:46
and said, look, I like this job, but I feel like a
42:51
boulder is crushing me every day, and I would like to feel like I
42:57
was sitting on top of a rainbow. How can we do that? I
43:02
hope they have a good supervisor. I hope so too. I hope so
43:07
too. And I don't know, maybe they won't respond to the rainbow thing.
43:08
But my guest is Sam Bennett. We're talking about her new book,
43:15
The fifteen Minute Method, The Surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done. We'll
43:19
be back with more after these words from the Old Times Radio Network. Humanity
43:23
Healing International is a small nonprofit with a big dream. Since two thousand and
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you're struggling with your mental health. But you don't have to feel alone.
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Find more information at Love your Mind Today dot org. Brought to you by
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the Huntsman Mental Health Institute in the AD Council. Hello, I'm Sandy sedgeby
44:24
a host of on Times Magazine's flagship radio show What is Going On? My
44:30
passion is sifting through information, research and innovations from New thought teachers, speakers,
44:35
and researchers pushing back the boundaries of what we know about life, energy,
44:39
metaphysics, and the universe. I love shifting perceptions about who we are,
44:45
why we're here, and how quickly impossible becomes normal when we open our
44:49
minds, expand our awareness, and accept that the only limits that exist are
44:53
those we place upon ourselves. So if you're the kind of forward thinking,
44:58
eager investigator of what lies beyond the current reality that most perceive, why not
45:02
make a date to come play with me in the field of possibilities at four
45:07
pm Pacific time seven pm Eastern time every Thursday, and together we can discover
45:13
what's very going on. Back on Vox Novus, my guest this week is
45:19
Sam Bennett. We're talking about her brand new book, The Fifteen Minute Method,
45:24
The Surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done. So in the last segment,
45:30
Sam, we were talking about the alchemy of effort. What about grumpy
45:35
magic? What's grumpy magic? Grumpy magic is first of all, just fun
45:39
to say, but it is also a little bit of a stand I mean,
45:45
I love my brothers and sisters in the personal development and spiritual development world,
45:51
but there can be a certain amount of oppressive positivity going on, and
45:59
sometimes it feels like there's a philosophy or a belief that, well, you
46:05
have to be you know, if your mindset is a one hundred percent positive,
46:09
you're not going to be able to do what you want. And that's
46:13
just not true. I mean, I noticed that plenty of pessimists get rich.
46:17
I know that grumpy people find loving spouses. I mean, you know
46:22
it is not in fact love and light is not actually essential to happiness.
46:28
Well you know what I mean, So kard of, it's just acknowledging that.
46:32
And then the chapter itself actually has a couple of sort of prescriptive exercises
46:37
to take a look at what's making you grumpy? What would you like to
46:44
have happen? How could you get from there to here or here to there
46:50
in a way that is real for you, that doesn't separate. You know,
46:59
I don't like get when our personal development work or our spiritual work doesn't
47:05
have a place in our day to day life. You know, if you're
47:09
having deep spiritual moments in church but not the rest of the week, I
47:16
think you have some work to do. You have a chapter entitled and I
47:22
can say this word on the station on this program affirmations that calm your shit
47:30
down. Tell us about the affirmations. Yeah, you know, it's easy
47:35
to get caught up in the in the day to day and the you know,
47:37
most of us have the same thoughts every day, and most of those
47:43
thoughts are negative. And I just wanted to again acknowledge where you really are
47:53
and what you can really do in this exact moment to to make a difference.
48:00
So, uh, it's things like where am I gonna look at it?
48:09
It's easy to feel discouraged about how you look, at least for me,
48:15
and particularly aging, you know, or when my body's not doing what
48:19
I want it to. And I find it very calming to think the thought
48:23
I appear as this now. I appear as this now, And somehow just
48:31
saying those words makes me stop comparing myself to my twenty two year old self.
48:37
It makes me and it gets me off with the idea that oh,
48:42
well this is it. I'm just gonna look like this forever. It's like,
48:44
well, maybe maybe not. You know, when I get bummed out
48:50
about not feeling very successful, I can say, well, the road has
48:57
led to here, and that reminds me that this is not the end of
49:04
the road, and that we keep going step by step and success doesn't always
49:10
look like what we thought it would look like. And what about daily expressions
49:17
of gratitude. Mm, there's a real movement in the culture around gratitude,
49:24
and I'm delighted. I think it's great. But I also think it's really
49:28
easy to get a little generic or a little you know, if you ask
49:34
people, you know, what are they grateful for? They'll say, Oh,
49:36
I'm grateful for my health, I'm grateful for my family, and you
49:37
are, of course you are. But are you feeling that every day?
49:43
Is that you know, who are you? Is it making you gasp with
49:46
gratitude? So I talk about micro blessings, which are just those little,
49:52
teeny tiny slices of life. When I'm you know, holding my mug of
49:58
tea in my hand and I can feel the warmth of the tea through the
50:04
mug on my hand, and this hand particularly has an old injury, so
50:08
the heat actually feels really really nice, and just that moment of ah,
50:16
warm tea on my hand nice. You know, when my cat jumps up
50:21
on my lap and I'm endlessly flattered by the attention of all animals. I
50:25
just think it's amazing that they give me the time of day, Like,
50:29
what are the things in your life that really just light you up and make
50:34
you so happy and grateful? And can you just lean into those a little
50:37
bit more? Can you just give them a little extra noticing? Give us
50:44
an example of some more micro blessings. Please m the light on the leaves
50:51
of the trees, the moon, catching a glimpse of the moon anytime,
51:00
A big fan of the shower. I like water in almost any form.
51:05
I'll consider water a micro blessing in any drinking it, bathing in it,
51:09
swimming in it, caught cold. I don't mind doing dishes. I like
51:14
the sound of the water when I'm doing dishes. It's those little, teeny
51:20
tiny appreciations. I remember on the day of my wedding to my first husband.
51:28
I've had several I love all my husbands, But on the day of
51:31
my wedding to my first husband, it was December in Chicago, and it
51:37
was a clear, bright day, and I remember looking out the window of
51:40
the car and seeing just that shade of pale winter blue, midwestern blue,
51:51
And to this minute, it is one of my strongest memories of that wedding
51:54
day. It was a micro blessing. Just noticing the sky, the sound
52:02
of birds chirping when I opened my eyes first thing in the morning is a
52:07
micro blessing for me. I love that. I'll tell you what. I
52:12
moved to Connecticut about a year and a half ago, and I lived kind
52:15
of out in the woods, and it is like I live in a bird
52:17
meditation CD. There is chirping going on all the time. It's incredible,
52:24
it's incredible. The song. It lifts me up. You're exactly right.
52:30
Right when my eyes open, I hear that song and it's a real blessing.
52:36
And we change our entire world in just fifteen minutes a day. Well,
52:43
we certainly have before, haven't we. When we asked someone to marry
52:49
us, when we committed to a project, when we started working out,
52:55
when we started painting, when we started something. We've we can mark the
53:01
moments where we said, Okay, it's going to be different, this is
53:06
different. I'm starting this, I'm doing this, I'm saying yes to this,
53:09
I'm saying no to this. Life is made up of fifteen minutes,
53:15
is And you know, I know we all have this idea of like,
53:20
oh, I would write a novel, but I need you know, three
53:22
months at a villa in Provence. You know, I would clean out the
53:24
garage, but I need two free weekends. It's like, you know,
53:28
I hope for you, the villain in Provace. I'm a fan, but
53:32
it's not happening today, and your life is happening today. So let's start
53:39
today, and then you know, we can also be working towards the time.
53:45
In France, two clean free weekends in a row, when is that
53:50
like really? And even if you did have two free weekends in a row,
53:54
you're not gonna want to spend them cleaning out the garage. So why
53:58
not go in there for fifteen minutes and just contemplate, just take in the
54:07
state of the garage, don't do anything, just for fifteen minutes, just
54:10
be there with it, see what happens. And maybe the next day go
54:15
back in there for fifteen minutes and maybe you you know, look at a
54:19
box, or hang up a hammer, or suddenly realize, wait a minute,
54:24
those ten boxes belong to my brother, those aren't mine. Wait a
54:30
minute, and maybe you get them to take those out, And now the
54:32
garage is half cleared, and you didn't have to do anything. Are you
54:37
hoping to start the fifteen minute Method movement with everyone around the world. I
54:43
dream of it being a global movement. I dream of people spending fifteen minutes
54:47
on the things that matter to them, and I dream of them talking about
54:51
it with each other and connecting with one another and honoring this creative process we
54:57
call life. And so when somebody says how are you, instead of saying
55:02
I'm so busy, they're saying I'm making incredible progress on my needle points.
55:06
There you go, my guest, Sam Bennett, her new book, The
55:10
fifteen Minute Method, The surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done. Sam,
55:15
one more time, Please share with our listeners, or they can get your
55:19
book and find out more about you and your wisdom. Thank you. You
55:23
can find me at therealsam Bennett dot com and I'm on all the socials as
55:28
the real Sam Bennett. My team, of course, keeps threatening to make
55:31
the fake Sam Bennett, which I think would probably be a website with me
55:37
going, oh, don't do anything, no one cares. Who are you
55:40
kidding? I'm gonna make any And yes, you can get The fifteen Minute
55:46
Method and my other books wherever you like to buy books, Amazon, Audible,
55:52
Kindle, your local bookstore can order them for you if they don't have
55:54
them already, and Barnes and Noble is carrying this new one, so that's
55:58
exciting. It was an absolute delight to reconnect with you and share this time
56:04
together and have you express your wisdom, your humor and your big heart.
56:07
Thank you so much, Thank you for having me. It's a joy,
56:12
and thank you for joining us on Vox Novus s. I'm Victor the Voice
56:15
Furman. Have a wonderful week.