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To All The Men I've Tolerated Before: ADHD Diagnosing · PNW Haunts & Homicides

• 0:00
  Hey, tolerators. This is Natalie. And before we get to the meat of the episode,
• 0:05
  I had some quick announcements for to all the men I've tolerated before. First,
• 0:11
  we have our fall merch available in our merchandise store. So make sure that you
• 0:16
  get yourself to the link in the show notes to check out our tarot inspired and spooky
• 0:23
  inspired anti-massage and the merch.
• 0:27
  Our Patreon is currently running a seven day free trial on all tiers.
• 0:33
  So if you join the Patreon now, your first week is free and you could binge all
• 0:39
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• 0:46
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• 0:53
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• 1:01
  Please make sure to check out all of these changes and also follow us on Instagram at
• 1:06
  men I've tolerated pod or TikTok at Natalie K124.
• 1:11
  So you can see all of these changes happening in real time. Enjoy the episode.
• 1:18
  [Music]
• 1:39
  Hey, Tyler Readers. This is to all the men I've tolerated before with Natalie Patona.
• 1:44
  You're weekly look at everyday misogyny. Today my guest is from the podcast.
• 1:49
  The bar is ankle high, which if you have ever listened to me complain about a
• 1:54
  romcom or Lucas Scott on one tree hill. I'm still comfy. You know this is one of my
• 1:59
  most headfast beliefs on the show.
• 2:03
  [Laughs]
• 2:04
  Katie and her coos here are openly honest about life, love and everything that comes
• 2:10
  with an ADHD diagnosis. Today we will be talking about how misogyny plays a role in
• 2:15
  how women often go undiagnosed and untreated for ADHD.
• 2:20
  Welcome and thank you so much for being here Katie. Thank you so much for having us.
• 2:25
  I know that my co-host Gary would have loved to be here. She just couldn't make it today.
• 2:29
  But yeah, no, we are the bar's ankle high. Actually started and was inspired that name.
• 2:35
  Was inspired by a coworker I used to have and we were talking about dating go figure.
• 2:41
  And she was dating a guy who all she wanted was that good morning tax, right?
• 2:46
  And all this motherfucker would send her is like GM and would say shit like that.
• 2:54
  And she was like she's just getting so irritated. And then she was like well I know he's doing
• 2:59
  it now because I know it's pissing off. And he's like doing that cat and mouse bullshit.
• 3:06
  She's like honestly like the bar is ankle high. I'm asking for a text message.
• 3:11
  The iPhone like pre-populates the words for you. Like this is just ridiculous. So it just
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  turned into this whole thing. And when I worked with her we had something with my co-workers
• 3:20
  called the Tinder committee because all of us were single and trying to date and so we
• 3:24
  would like group thing for perspective date and see who was like worthy and not worthy.
• 3:31
  And as of right now only one person from that committee is with somebody to met during
• 3:36
  that round of dating. Good for them. The winner. I'm sure it was you you would have claimed
• 3:43
  the crown like it's me. Oh I sure I would have actually had a crown.
• 3:49
  So yeah we should always have a crown. Yeah on on on standby. It's like the I mean I'm
• 3:59
  drinking champagne tonight but like that Coco Chanel quote like ooh always have champagne
• 4:03
  in the fridge because sometimes the special occasion is just that you have champagne in the
• 4:07
  fridge. I simply I can't remember when we connected about your podcast name and my podcast
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  name. If I told you that like my tattoos always like the bars on the ground and it's starting
• 4:20
  to slowly sink because that's how long it's been in the ground. I don't actually remember
• 4:26
  typical but yeah it was something to that effect. Do we meet in Peru? Do you listen to and
• 4:38
  that's why we drink? I do listen to and that's why we drink. Are you in the podcast group
• 4:44
  for them? I'm in the podcast. Yes that might be how we went up. Yeah I'm up with everyone
• 4:53
  through Instagram so I'm like I don't know I probably answered one of your stories as
• 4:57
  a text message as you do when you're like this person probably wants my opinion. I mean
• 5:05
  it's not unreasonable I'm pretty active on our Instagram but no I think it was actually
• 5:09
  in the club podcast group that we linked up which tracks because actually the co-host of
• 5:15
  that podcast is the reason that I thought I had a HD and their experience in seeking
• 5:22
  a diagnosis and exploring that really kind of validated my own experience but I was like
• 5:27
  a minute and then I had already worked with Garrett for a few years at that point but I
• 5:31
  was talking with her about it and she was like oh yeah I got diagnosed a few years ago
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  so that I would like check in with her and be like hey what about this? She's like yeah
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  no that's that's the thing and so that I asked my therapist for an assessment and she's
• 5:47
  like well I can't assess you because I'm not an MD and that's in New York and so I saw
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  my GP and yeah he diagnosed me but yeah so at the age of 34 I was finally diagnosed with
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  ADHD which is also crazy because my mom for sure has it and my brother was diagnosed as a
• 6:05
  child of course and I think today I mean I always did very well in school but I think today my
• 6:16
  brother probably would have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder back in the day he
• 6:21
  was diagnosed, well not diagnosed but he was assessed for Asperger's which of course you
• 6:27
  don't say anymore but at the time we were but he was given the categorization of borderline
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  aspergers so he wasn't allowed to have the in-school supports for it because he didn't actually have
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  the diagnosis with his IEP but looking at him now, what's that ASD?
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  Like there's so much where I'm like bro and I think that's one of the things that I want
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  to make sure that we talk about is like how stingy and selfish people like to be with
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  the accommodations like one time I asked the police sister to repeat herself and it was something
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  that I had to know I do not remember what it was or whatever and she's like I'm not repeating
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  myself I've already told you and I was like uh-huh and I was I think I got a text message
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  or whatever and I was like so I didn't hear it and I need the information and she's like
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  I'm I'm not repeating myself and I was like and I just want to just because at the very beginning
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  and I remember feeling this way about my disorder to and depression and all of it when you're
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  at the very beginning of being like oh this is what's going on in my body and my brain
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  everything is just like hyper-sensitive and wrapped up to the a million.
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  I'm sure I like got up the phone with her burst in the tears and was like I'm a throat
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  no one's ever accommodated me how hard is it to just accommodate people totally yeah and I've
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  seen a lot especially since especially since starting the podcast but even before starting
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  the podcast I had hopped on Reddit and I was like okay like let's see what Reddit has to say
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  when it comes to information they help me find the right broad size so like why not right and
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  um I've seen that chart the one where you have to bend over and lay on the floor and lay on
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  your side yeah I did it and let me tell you it like I mean I have some underwire bras they're nice
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  now yeah I don't I don't um I have to rip them off of my body like they're made of acid and I'm in
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  the lake and Dante's peak anymore and I understand I also was like what do you mean I'm like a letter
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  cup higher and two bands higher and then and so I was like yeah your boobs are just supposed to
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  float in the cup not just be compressed by the cup I was like what's up but you were on Reddit trying
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  to be like so does the deep sea thing and call focusing by the way good job um yeah so I was just
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  looking at it and you know there was a lot of people asking questions of like you know basically
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  like that seen from Mrs. Doubtfire when Sally feels it's like the whole time the whole time this was
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  it this is what was going on and so I was reading all these posts and like reading about people's
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  dating experiences and I'll be like yep that resonates and yep that resonates again
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  like holy shit doesn't everybody's going through this and I mean I would say that mine my personal
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  experience with ADHD isn't so severe in me like I can do the dishes like I would probably I probably
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  leave them way longer than I ought to but it's never almost never at a point where I have to throw
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  something away because it's so disgusting and moldy unless it's like fell out of my bag and under
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  the seat in my car and I just forgot about it so it's not quite that extreme I've never lost a job
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  because of my ADHD but there are a lot of experiences especially when it came to the executive function
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  thing because my apartment was constantly a mess and I remember my mom saying to me when I was a child
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  like well it never really bothered me if your room was messy because you'll care when you have
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  company over like when you're a teenager and you start having your friends over you'll come up
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  because you'll care and she's right the thing is that's the only time I'll call you exactly yes
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  like I need that threat and I mean I'm an attorney I made it through law school and undergrad I
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  graduated undergrad with honors I managed to get out of law school anyway I did not graduate with
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  honors but I passed the bar on my first time and it's the not that it matters you're no better or
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  worse than an attorney no matter how many times you take the bar as long as you pass it um but yeah
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  so I was looking at Reddit and it was that kind of thing where I was like well shoot like I wonder what
• 10:51
  I could have done differently and what especially my dating life but then if I had known this about
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  myself sooner I think on the one hand I know that we've talked before but um I was in a abusive
• 11:06
  relationship that culminated in a night of physical violence and I am not grateful for that but I know
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  that the work that I've done since that happened has made me a much more secure and strong person
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  but that being said I think a lot of what I was tolerating was because I was trying to make up for my
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  ADHD that I didn't know with ADHD and I think that's what I was just coming to terms with now as
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  we were talking where I'm like because it's that whole like what could I have accomplished had I have
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  known or if I had understood what was going on in my body and my brain or if I had worked better with
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  my body and my brain instead of just holding me like other people clean your house or clean their house
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  and you're just useless and you just don't refuse to do things that you don't like to animate
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  like do you think that I don't like everyday I just also don't clean the shower right yeah like I
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  guess it was like I get out like I'm in the shower and I'm like I really got a cleanness it's getting
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  slippery and then I get out of the shower and the shower no longer exists you should see my car
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  because that's my car's start I was thinking about it and it's like so many like what I have been a
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  teacher if I didn't know that like being a teacher was like a quote unquote normal female run
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  of the male job that would eventually get you to wife status would I remember when I truly think that
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  I would have experimented more sexually or had been more open about the idea that I fall somewhere
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  on the LGBTQ spectrum of things if I wasn't always trying to make my life fit what I thought and like
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  a lot of things playing to that depression religion misogyny politics your family all of
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  that but it's your juggling all of that and then one day someone's like also your brain needs help
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  have you thought about that and you're like I just need help I don't know my brain does my brain or
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  just me exactly it's definitely not feeling of like well yeah of course if I could just push a
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  button and fix it I would like I don't enjoy like I I definitely so it's not that I don't enjoy
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  having a messy place it's that it doesn't bother me I for sure do enjoy having a clean place
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  and having a very tidy place and having everything put away so it looks like a magazine I love
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  when that happens that's one of the very few reasons I'm looking forward to moving and if you see
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  there will be a point where everything is put away and it looks like I'm about to have a photo shoot
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  in my living room it's getting to that point and I think for so long especially professionally speaking
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  so much of what I did was build as um oh I'm just a perfectionist and I'm just super competitive
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  which is fair I mean I knew I wanted to be in a train because I won a moth trial in seventh grade
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  and then I decided that I wanted to be in a train and that was the end like I had backup plans
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  but like not really like they were backup plans because people are like okay well what if you don't
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  get into law school pretty competitive but I had really good grades so I was like well yeah like
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  theoretically I can do whatever the fuck I want I will just pick something else
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  right like I grew up in the 90s remember you said I could do whatever I wanted to do so like
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  eat a whole dick but like but so I like went to law school and I would have trouble especially
• 14:44
  leaving deadlines and I would say like oh I'm really deadline oriented and I was in the sense that I
• 14:49
  met all of my deadlines but I would meet them at the last minute and I would meet them at the last
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  minute because I needed that like a adrenaline rush of am I gonna get it done am I gonna get it done
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  to actually finally just like hit the gas pedal because up to that point it was like this paralysis
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  thing and it doesn't mean that I'm not thinking about the thing that I have to do which on the one hand
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  as I'm 20 it's helpful it allows me to work on something else while I just have this other thing
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  going on in the back burner where I'm like okay well how do I want to wear that augment like could I
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  come at it from this way but I'm working on this other thing on the front burner so in that
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  perspective it can be helpful but overall it's not helpful I'm doing so much better now that I'm
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  meditating and diagnosed then I ever was before I mean my therapist is able to offer me like
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  working solutions to problems that I'm having with managing my time and managing my personal life
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  and it's also allowed me to having that diagnosis and even having the clarity of like understanding
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  what's going on without a formal diagnosis allows you to take those steps to work towards what works
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  for you I also noticed when I was on Reddit that there were a lot of people even now make only them
• 16:03
  about a year so it's not much has changed but there's a lot of gatekeeping and a lot of gatekeeping
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  diagnosing and a lot of like saying well not everything is ADHD and I agree not everything is ADHD
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  sometimes it's depression sometimes it's anxiety sometimes it's autism spectrum disorder
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  sometimes you just forget to move the laundry from the washroom to the dryer and that's a
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  totally normal thing for people who work full time and have families and obligations the issue
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  and the difference is that it's actually impairing my life the difference is that I can't have
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  company over at a moment's notice because my house is in this the issue is that I am missing deadlines
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  or if I'm not missing a deadline I'm not doing as good of a job on something that I should be doing
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  when I have plenty of time to do a good job on it the issue is that in my interpersonal
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  relationships my romantic relationships there I'm struggling with those boundaries and with
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  understanding and reading other people and and not interrupting I mean oh my god my use of eggs
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  he said to me one time like one of the things that he was like really good on me about was that I was
• 17:16
  always interrupting him and then we spent some time with my extended family on my mom's side
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  and we left and he was like well now I know what you get it from because your entire family interrupts
• 17:27
  and it's fucking disgusting and I was like whoa I never noticed it before because we all interrupt
• 17:32
  you know that video right it's just called normal in my family look and because so I have a lot of
• 17:40
  pride in speaking after my mom's side of the family but it's a lot of the same thing where we tell
• 17:45
  stories in the round because everyone knows the story so as soon as my uncle has paused because he
• 17:51
  needs to breathe then someone just picks up the next part of the story and then someone goes that's
• 17:57
  not how it happened at all it was a Sunday and now they're in charge of the story and you're all
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  laughing and having a good time so you're like this is normal and this is what love looks like
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  right and even if it's not like even telling a story in the round like you just interrupt you
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  you all probably have ADHD that reminds you of it and that's the end and it's just whatever
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  like it just never occurred to me as a problem my biggest downfall is actually that I was so
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  successful against my own like better doing because I too would just push it until be like
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  I can write a 20 page paper in two hours and how do you someone tell me that I couldn't
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  and then do it and score the A or the B or whatever and be like ha ha yeah I'm brilliant
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  and oh my god that's how I got through all of high school like yeah I would and I remember there's
• 18:54
  a kid now who's a cardiologist whatever whatever great nerd but we were in AP Euro together and I
• 19:08
  remember him saying like to somebody else but like next to me basically like maybe not even smart
• 19:15
  why is she even in this class and I was like first of all fuck you I'm about to have my L with
• 19:19
  moment but second of all funny either you're stupid because we're in the same class or I'm smart
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  like I don't know what to tell you and he was like super p.o because in New York we have like our state
• 19:30
  regents exams at the end of each year and then we had the AP exam and he was like super mad that
• 19:36
  I got a four on the test and then on the AP test and then I did like whatever 95 to 98 or something
• 19:42
  on the regents exam and I was like duh I'm a good test taker the problem is the homework in between
• 19:49
  have you heard I'm brilliant um I was in a exact same way and if I wasn't naturally gifted at
• 19:56
  something my perfectionist frame would immediately go we don't have to care about this because if we
• 20:02
  had to care about it we would just be good at it and then I would trick someone into getting
• 20:09
  me by sometimes it was a student teacher sometimes it was an older guy in my class who was like my friend
• 20:16
  and also like the fake teacher assistant because it's like high school and that's how he's just spending
• 20:23
  his study hall and I'm like hey buddy it's me you're cute adorable funny friend what is when you
• 20:31
  made my homework you just remember how much you love me and I and I was diabolical and I got whatever
• 20:39
  I wanted whatever I wanted and then that continued into college and then you're in this fucking real
• 20:46
  world and they're like who told you you get what you want and I was like my brain because I'm so good
• 20:53
  at the hustle my issue in undergrad was that I mean I loved my major I was a pretty medieval and
• 21:01
  pre-modern history major and um I could just read my notes from from lecture if I just want to
• 21:07
  lecture and took notes I was fine and I did well on the exams and I would read you know sometimes
• 21:13
  if the class was interesting and if the professor made it interesting but otherwise like I was
• 21:19
  pretty solid like I was on the dean's list every semester and I was cool the problem with that
• 21:26
  was that I went to law school and it turns out you can't just read the notes from class that's useless
• 21:30
  hugger law school yeah this is crap and they kept saying like all this is a crack method and it was
• 21:36
  like means shit to me I don't know what that means you keep saying so crack method as if that's
• 21:40
  supposed to be an answer to the question I don't and I have like no concepts like looking back
• 21:45
  I'm like like our TA in law school was like well you can do an outline for the final after the syllabus
• 21:52
  or you can base it on the textbook and I was like what the fuck are you talking about what
• 21:58
  what outline and then I was even more confused because I was like okay well I'll do the textbook one
• 22:05
  fine like we basically went through the textbook in order still doesn't answer my question because I
• 22:10
  highlighted everything I had no fucking cool out reading where's the cardiologist asking why I was in
• 22:17
  law school then and then I went to teacher school and to me teacher school is a lot of just like
• 22:28
  soft skills that they then make textbooks out of and they're like don't you want to know the science
• 22:35
  of the braiding wickets can we and I'm like why would I ever need to know that so no so I would just
• 22:43
  like thanks for asking unsubscribe yeah thank you but no I'm master's please yes there's please
• 22:53
  so I was really good at all of the performative parts of teaching um and then again it was like that
• 23:00
  false sense of success and then so when I quit teaching to go work in theater a friend that I had
• 23:07
  having college he was younger than me like went back to one of our college events and ended up
• 23:12
  telling one of my education professors oh nearly doesn't teach any more she um she got a job in
• 23:18
  theater she's really loving it and that and he loved me I remember this professor loving me so I'm
• 23:24
  just like so hurt but he went I knew naply wouldn't love teaching but you know what she was just like
• 23:32
  one of our stars and I was like no you call me aside and you go hey honey do you want to spend six
• 23:41
  years just be like more in the mud with your code appendancy but it's with like 38 year olds
• 23:50
  I think that that is a part of a higher education especially that is not talked about enough I had a
• 23:59
  professor in law school because my first year of law school I actually did down in my early Florida
• 24:03
  and I had a professor who like pulled me aside one day I went to his office hours about
• 24:07
  some things like pd are you are you happy here and I was like no like this like my amy suck it's hot
• 24:16
  100% of the time it's so fucking humid it's Florida people are mean the drivers have no work
• 24:23
  in tail lights I'm sorry why is there no state inspection in a place that has no fault insurance
• 24:29
  and like it is just fucking crazy to me like I don't understand you have daily downpours where you
• 24:36
  can't see your hand in front of your face but you don't have to get like mandatory car inspections or
• 24:40
  you need to have work in tail lights fucking nuts absolutely fucking nuts no this place is crazy I
• 24:45
  absolutely he said will be one of the professors law here and I was like no why would I this place is
• 24:50
  the hell hole and he was basically like yeah so the thing is he's like I vacation every summer
• 24:59
  in upstate Newark in the out of on backs um you need to go home you need to go back to Newark
• 25:05
  and I was like there there he's like why didn't you go to Albany law like that's a great school and
• 25:11
  I was like my whole family would go Albany law and I would like go somewhere where they were and get
• 25:15
  into free and he was like that's that's not that's not it something in that way they're never gonna
• 25:25
  cancel your student loans Katie well he was basically like like if you can get into a place
• 25:31
  because your family is known there just fucking take that hand out like no that's not not the
• 25:38
  hole to die on what you're saying is I can blame my stubbornness on ADHD thank goodness I'm gonna write that down
• 25:46
  accommodate me it is um I'm I'm of the mindset actually that I think ADHD will end up being
• 25:56
  incorporated into autism spectrum disorder I think ADHD itself is a spectrum of course but I think
• 26:03
  that there's so much overlap in the symptoms of ADHD and ASD particularly I think in
• 26:11
  the elements of rigidity especially I think you see all these like tweets or whatever
• 26:18
  what people are talking about how like if I can fully understand your reason for having a rule
• 26:23
  I will follow your rule if I don't understand your reason for it or I think your reasoning is
• 26:28
  flawed or stupid then I'm not going to follow your rule I'm gonna do it my own way because my I know
• 26:33
  that my own way is either more efficient for me or more efficient for everybody but it works for me
• 26:39
  better than your way and I'm gonna do it my way and I'm gonna dig my heels in and a story and
• 26:48
  that sort of rigidity I think is more often associated with autism spectrum disorder but I see it a lot
• 26:54
  in ADHDers I think that we are very rigid in our understanding of things and I think that especially
• 27:03
  having a co-host who also has ADHD my partner has ADHD her partner has ADHD so between the four of us
• 27:13
  like there are definitely points where we have to all kind of take a step back and like think about
• 27:18
  the words that we're choosing because we are all also the four of us friends but when there's
• 27:24
  like this business component to it we have to like separate things a little bit and say like okay
• 27:30
  this is what I would like let me know if you can do that or not and then I can adjust my
• 27:36
  expectations or adjust and figure out what I'm asking and you can figure out if what I'm asking
• 27:42
  is unreasonable and/or why and go from there but you it is something that you really have to be conscious
• 27:49
  that you're working on and when especially when you're undiagnosed or you're newly diagnosed
• 27:54
  or you've been diagnosed for a long time burnout can catch up with you so fast you didn't
• 28:00
  episode on it in I think it was December and we didn't episode on burnout and it was just this idea
• 28:06
  of like when you have ADHD everybody is is riding a bicycle whether you have ADHD or not everybody's
• 28:14
  on a bicycle but if you have ADHD you're on a low year trying to go uphill and so you're pedaling
• 28:21
  so much faster and so much harder than everybody else just to keep up but by the time you get to the
• 28:27
  top of the hill they might be a little bit out of breath you need a full break like you need to get
• 28:32
  off the bike and walk around and catch your breath and get your bearings and then you can probably go
• 28:37
  down the hill way faster but you need that time to recalibrate and catch your breath but the reality
• 28:45
  is especially I think if you're undiagnosed and I mean the reality is that I think in fact I know
• 28:52
  my current employer my supervisor made a comment to me in like December or December of last year where
• 29:01
  he didn't know that I had a HD at this point but he made a comment with me and said oh well if you
• 29:05
  want to talk you think you have ADHD now or whatever and I was like well yeah some people do and
• 29:12
  it looked at me and I was like well well like and the reality is like again I think there is
• 29:19
  something that comes from being like aging like I'm 35 now my boss might be 15 years older than me
• 29:28
  but I'm experienced enough in my field that we're effectively the same so it's it's enough for me to say
• 29:37
  like no you don't get to speak to me that way which is the benefit of aging I think and it's beautiful
• 29:44
  and it's something that nobody's nobody ever told us when we were kids that like when you're older you
• 29:49
  actually like get to really hold your own and it's like really beautiful and powerful way and whether
• 29:56
  you choose to dye your hair or get Botox or not you still get to do all those things and be like really
• 30:03
  assertive and like like wonder woman like Gal Gadot when she like realizes her power is kind of thing
• 30:11
  also with Chris Evans because you're sidekick but also doing that or not Chris Evans
• 30:16
  no Chris Pine yeah all the Chris's all the Chris's man except for Chris Pratt
• 30:25
  so mad at him all the time and I think when it comes to art so there's so much where the popular
• 30:33
  and I don't know I'm not a historian but I think that this is the pattern society and large groups of
• 30:40
  people will be like three to five years ahead of where we're actually at so we're looking at
• 30:47
  employers where still like you work a nine to five maybe around 10 30 you get a little jittery
• 30:54
  so you go and you like stand at a waterfall where it was someone and talk about praise anatomy and then
• 31:01
  at noon everyone goes to lunch and then at five everyone goes home and by seven year eating dinner
• 31:07
  and they just think like that's how it should be that's how it will be and everyone can live in that
• 31:14
  flow and what I've learned is once I didn't have to live in that flow anymore because of the pandemic
• 31:22
  I could not transition back to you telling me what I had to do when I had to do it yeah I know that
• 31:29
  not to speak for her but my co-host Garrett feels that way immensely and because she's currently
• 31:37
  pregnant she's considering like our our offices policies on pumping and the availability of a pumping
• 31:45
  space for nursing mothers which is required by state and federal law but she's going through all
• 31:51
  these things where she is sad like we had a whole conversation at work with actually one of our
• 31:56
  meeting reps the other day and the union rep was like well just ask for reasonable accommodation and
• 32:01
  you can work from home five days a week because we have a hybrid schedule right now when you can work
• 32:07
  from home two days a week if you want and because she said she's like I can't go back two
• 32:13
  weeks five days a week like absolutely not and so she said like she's like I might have to because
• 32:20
  they want her to like pump on a regular schedule every single day at the back same time you have to
• 32:26
  go down to HR get the key to the pumping room then go from R4 which is the sucking for then go up
• 32:32
  to the fourth floor pump then go back down to the first floor drop the key off and then go back to your
• 32:38
  desk and then at the end of the day because there's a mini fridge in that room you go back down to
• 32:44
  HR get the key go up to the fourth floor assuming nobody's there yes that could be their pumping schedule
• 32:51
  like if they're there till 5 p.m. they might be pumping it when she leaves but then wait for them to
• 32:55
  leave so that she can go into the room get her stuff and then skid at all and then go pick up the
• 33:02
  kid from daycare and it's all these different things which is like that is absolutely ridiculous
• 33:07
  like the fact that you're thinking that that's acceptable is just nonsense and it's true
• 33:14
  but it's that kind of thing that I think the pandemic allowed a lot of us to have the space to be like
• 33:20
  why am I commuting 40 minutes each way why am I driving and taking the train for hours and hours
• 33:28
  and wasting all this time that I could be spending with my family or my cats or my
• 33:33
  whoever well I could just be at home because if I'm at home my accommodations are on me
• 33:42
  like because that's currently what's happening with my day job my day job is I'm grading standardized
• 33:48
  tests with things I have to listen to children ask answer the same two questions over and over and
• 33:54
  over again and they have two scheduled 15 minute breaks and a half hour lunch but ask me if I'm
• 34:03
  sitting there at the rest of the time no because I self-accompanied and I'm like okay now I can work
• 34:09
  out now I can do a tour now I can switch it up and I'm still out performing people yeah oh absolutely
• 34:18
  and I I agree I think you know even recently I had to go back to fully working from home
• 34:25
  because I go into the office full time just because the nature of my job our office flooded
• 34:29
  because of some like I stand situation or something on the roof so we were I was going in once a week
• 34:38
  which is what I was doing from the pandemic but fucking sucked because I have to mail a
• 34:43
  appeal so I had to like do all this math to figure out like the next time I'm gonna be in the office
• 34:47
  if I could get everything filed ahead of time and just just fucking annoying anyway the boy being
• 34:53
  though I was like there's still nothing better than like being like okay I'm hungry I'll go make lunch
• 34:58
  now or okay it's like 4.30 although take some chicken out of the fridge even though I have another
• 35:04
  half hour of work like just those little things also being able to be in my own bathroom and not a
• 35:10
  public situation not that we pee in public but a public restroom just squatting and let push
• 35:17
  us outside of here. What's your list there's the thing that like public employees in New York or
• 35:22
  like just in a bucket or to like literally get so fucking frustrated about something that I'm
• 35:28
  working on that I can literally just grab my cat and go we will lay down for we're gonna do a quick
• 35:35
  seven. Absolutely I mean there were times where I took my lunch break was me taking a half hour now
• 35:43
  because I can eat at my desk while I'm working that's not a big deal to me I can multitask that way
• 35:49
  and in fact I think that that helps make me more effective because I'm keeping one of my hands busy
• 35:54
  and my mouth busy while my brain is busy fine and to have that option like I'm not gonna go sleep in my
• 36:02
  car no way if I'm in the office I mean I also wouldn't do that if I was at my house but yeah like
• 36:11
  just having that flexibility is just so nice and with this whole like nursing situation and pumping
• 36:18
  Garrett has said like I don't want to hear another thing about not being able to recruit workers when
• 36:25
  you refuse to give them a fully remote position when the job can be done fully remotely also she and
• 36:32
  I don't know but like what if Garrett could be at home pumping comfortably or breastfeeding her infant
• 36:41
  because now the infant doesn't have to do the daycare because she can kind of do both like
• 36:48
  right exactly and that's why our union rep is like well that's your reasonable accommodation then
• 36:53
  if they can't like guarantee that you can get to that room because the reality of of pumping is like
• 36:58
  it's a bodily function so your your breast will be coming gorge you'll start leaking you will be
• 37:06
  in pain until you pump or feed your baby and so and that can be affected by your hormones of how much
• 37:13
  you had to drink the day before how much the baby ate the day before how much the baby ate that morning
• 37:18
  I mean it's like so many different things that can affect that but I was like that is and then
• 37:22
  somebody was like either in HR or different union rep was like well potentially if you're the only
• 37:29
  person who needs the pumping room we can give the key to your supervisor and I was like so that's
• 37:35
  the same as asking your supervisor if you can go potty like if you consider what that really is but
• 37:45
  because it's a female only experience or a fab only experience it is this like reg like super
• 37:53
  hyper regulated like oh there's just one key and they're worried about the cost of making key
• 37:58
  I'm sorry I just had two keys made at home depot for less than 10 bucks and like I
• 38:04
  are used to believe that the public of your credit state that the entire state doesn't have a key
• 38:11
  making machine somewhere in some fucking basement right where they make a copy of a key but not only that
• 38:19
  we all have ideas that are like little swiper things that's the scanner on the door you'd think
• 38:25
  and like it's like well it's privacy only one person can be in the room at the time she's like
• 38:31
  privacy or not just get a room divider like what like also I can't speak to the other floors
• 38:39
  but to the extent that there's modest involved you've had like no less than 14 different people
• 38:45
  inside your cooter when you gave birth so like at that point of another person who's nursing
• 38:52
  seeing potentially the side of your boob is an exactly an issue right I don't want to talk to
• 38:58
  anyone else who has a bow I don't want to speak for not I don't want to talk to breastfeeding
• 39:05
  ladies but I don't want to talk to four people who have to breastfeed but I think that men have
• 39:15
  way more of a panic about that foundation than we ever have because I remember being a child
• 39:23
  sitting in rooms with my mom's best friend with my aunts with anybody and they were breastfeeding a baby
• 39:32
  I understood the functioning of breastfeeding at a very young age because I was watching it all
• 39:38
  the time and no one was like handling and bird your eyes are like oh my god someone cover up the boob
• 39:43
  or the baby right exactly exactly and certainly so I also can't say that I've never
• 39:52
  at this point nursed or pumped but I can't imagine that if you're in a room with other people who are
• 39:59
  also pumping that there's much to look at other than like oh do you like that model this one is
• 40:06
  better for me because like you might have a conversation about the different type of pumping
• 40:10
  machines you use but beyond that I just don't like unless really unless the baby is there there's
• 40:15
  nothing to talk about I I truly knew that like my time at nine to five living had to come to it
• 40:24
  or that I was like an MLM yeah that I was that I was done playing a nine to five game when it was
• 40:34
  my life on the line and my happiness and my joy at one time I had gone out to once come back to the
• 40:41
  parking lot for my office I was finishing a phone call with my best friend and I seized and my
• 40:49
  period jump started again and I had period if the fact that it like didn't also just like day
• 40:57
  lose on to the car but I knew I was like I was like okay well 15 year old me would have been riddled
• 41:05
  with shame trying to like tie something around my waist or whatever 27 year old me would continue my
• 41:12
  workday I go but 33 year old me is going to fuck home because I can do this shop from home I'm
• 41:18
  gonna drive I'm gonna shower I'm gonna change my outfit and I will have my horrendous jump started
• 41:27
  period at home for sure yeah I think again like that's that thing with aging where I'm like I'm
• 41:34
  just not going to put up with being uncomfortable if I don't need to be also I think the pandemic
• 41:41
  made me realize the sensory stuff that comes along with how my brain works because I'm like so I'm
• 41:48
  just gonna sit in what pants for the rest of the day and know that I'm miserable and portraying
• 41:54
  myself and at this point I don't want to torture myself anymore yeah for sure because all I would
• 42:02
  be thinking about is like oh everybody can smell it I can smell it I'm definitely not even though
• 42:06
  there's nothing probably there to deal with oh I'm I'm a math now every time I stand up I have to
• 42:12
  consider like the the middle school like in a good and like like check behind me and you know
• 42:20
  let's go I'll just go home and it was like my bus is third day because I had like that in a new boss
• 42:29
  in the beginning of this job and I just texted him I was like I've had a female wardrobe malfunction
• 42:38
  I'm going home to change and he's like well are you coming back and I go no because I live 40 minutes
• 42:43
  away I'm not how is that reasonable for your time and for getting the most work out of me if I'm
• 42:50
  spending 80 minutes in the car to change my pants well not only 80 minutes but 80 minutes plus the
• 42:56
  shower time because like let's be clear let's be clear that is not the good thing I'm taking that
• 43:03
  handheld shower to myself like you just be like my god a massacre yeah and I think like when I
• 43:13
  watch women just being like no I will be considered and you just like watch the panic and that's
• 43:20
  what's eventually gonna happen with people from the 80s spectrum the autism spectrum where it's like
• 43:26
  no I will be considered and this isn't a big deal totally and I've said that like since my boss made
• 43:33
  that comment last year I've said something to him where he's like oh can't you remember and I was like
• 43:39
  no I have ADHD like you can see like he's just like quiet about it and I'm like well what now man
• 43:47
  because like if I need to get a doctor's note I will but like it's one of those things where you know
• 43:53
  it's the struggle with it a lot of times I feel like especially for women comes from the fact that
• 43:59
  hey and hardly think that it's like everyone else is ADHD and spectrum that's making someone go no
• 44:06
  it's a big deal to accommodate you because somehow if I accommodate you I was wrong yesterday when
• 44:12
  I didn't accommodate you it's like not bro we can just move forward right I have great news I have
• 44:20
  a table working memory so if you're just nice to me now I'm good well it's like well if I let you
• 44:26
  work from home I have to let other people work from home okay say hi like I don't get it
• 44:32
  save the money on rent then dude I don't know oh yeah they're so uppity about it they um are you
• 44:41
  gonna be started saying that uh maybe like 10 months or so into the pandemic they were like well
• 44:49
  you need to fill out this form and tell us what you're doing each day so that like and so as an attorney
• 44:56
  it's um we call it timekeeping but it's so I've worked her firms over your flat rate firms
• 45:02
  we didn't build our clients like hourly so they didn't get a bill where oh Katie spent
• 45:08
  point three hours on the phone with a closing counselor whatever um we didn't do that but when you
• 45:14
  have to do timekeeping you still keep a time like a spreadsheet of all that shit you do and they
• 45:22
  started requiring that I was like this is bullshit for the most part I was in a different unit
• 45:27
  that I am and now I had nothing to report I was sitting around the courts were closed nothing was
• 45:33
  moving I'm sitting around writing on my fucking spreadsheet I'm waiting for a call for my supervisor
• 45:38
  what do you want me to put that I'm watching love is blind or tiger king for the second
• 45:44
  and it's all about the the nickel and dining like how do I make sure that you're earning your
• 45:49
  wage I don't know how are you making sure that you're paying me and actually making sure that I have
• 45:55
  work available to me like yeah oh totally and I mean I mean I need department where I definitely
• 46:03
  don't have that issue anymore but one of the things when one of the reasons that I was like I'm
• 46:09
  absolutely coming back every day and not doing any hybrid schedule bullshit is because if you
• 46:14
  were in the office every day you didn't have to do the timekeeper thing and if you did if you worked
• 46:18
  anything hybrid if you worked at home at all you had to submit that timekeeper thing for every
• 46:24
  single day you worked not just the ones that you were working from home and I was like this is
• 46:28
  ridiculous I refuse to be babysat absolutely not I'll just come into the office like if it's that
• 46:33
  fucking important to you weirdos all be in the office every day I don't care and then
• 46:38
  our building flooded and they freaked out as to like why I couldn't possibly work from home when they
• 46:43
  are the ones that made it impossible for me to work from home I I was infuriated when I was working
• 46:50
  at hybrid schedule and I would be in an office doing nothing except for watching critical goal
• 46:58
  and being comforted by William O'Brien and I believe why I could be doing monitoring my cat could be
• 47:07
  looking at me I could be talking to my best friend but while I'm working on this like there are so
• 47:13
  many benefits to my emotional and mental health also my productivity that you're just holding on
• 47:20
  to some like sick plane to my time yeah we kept getting these like bullshit newsletters every month
• 47:27
  that were like you know we're showing higher productivity with people who are working from home
• 47:32
  and then they're like make sure you're not letting your productivity slip and I was like could you
• 47:35
  just take a while and please are we working more or less because when I work from home it's way
• 47:41
  easier for me to work past 5 p.m. because I'll focus and get that second wind at like 415 and I'll
• 47:52
  blow right past my clock out time and it's not like I'm I'm I'm salaried I can't charge them for that
• 47:57
  no so like what harm is it you're like effectively getting way more work for me I'm also not having
• 48:04
  to deal with talking with like about the banal bullshit with my coworkers who I can't be bothered
• 48:14
  to really care about you know somehow I'm viewed as being less productive when I'm at home or I have
• 48:20
  to prove that I'm actually productive and it's the kind of thing where I think it goes into that kind of
• 48:25
  80 hd um a little bit rejection sensitivity but definitely justice sensitivity where it's like
• 48:32
  if I haven't given you a reason to think that I'm not following the rules and stop thinking I'm not
• 48:36
  following the rules like I'll follow the rules I'm working what I'm supposed to work just like I did
• 48:40
  before and I think that like her the massage me comes in with a comedy 80 hd or comedy anything
• 48:50
  in the office or work from home or you know anything where it's like but then who's in control
• 48:59
  yes and and do we want women to have an easier time working and raising families because then
• 49:07
  who's in control then and like well what happens if they can make money and raise their kids yeah
• 49:14
  that's true and I mean there's also that thing of you know what happens if they can make money
• 49:19
  well what happens if they're actually producing more like you are you're outperforming your
• 49:23
  colleague so now I'm out producing my colleagues I want to raise the end the end you know it doesn't
• 49:30
  matter where I'm working the point is I'm doing it like you think I have like an army of mice doing
• 49:36
  this for me like no it's me and that's the other thing I think there's like a bizarre distrust and I
• 49:41
  think it comes from more the history of paternalism that we have in the workplace that has become
• 49:49
  misogyny but it is that thing if I can't see you do it then I can't believe you did it and it's very much a
• 49:55
  like oh did you brush your teeth before bed let me smell your breath like I don't trust you
• 50:02
  and it's like okay well yeah it's one thing to ask an eight year old who is notorious for you know
• 50:09
  they went into the bathroom for 15 seconds and said they brush their teeth well yeah no it's
• 50:13
  reasonable to question that but you know when I'm winning 90% of my cases when I'm meeting every
• 50:23
  deadline and exceeding every deadline and I have no complaints like nobody's complaining about me
• 50:30
  like leave me alone and let me work like I'm just happy to be left alone well and then it's like
• 50:38
  an ego-striking thing too because I I've had a lot of employers who will watch my success and because
• 50:46
  they are in arm length away from my success be like look how well I did training Natalie to do that
• 50:52
  look at me let her soar and I think what we found out in the combinoids is that middle note
• 50:58
  managers are middle for reason and they don't wait and again I think a lot of people panic
• 51:07
  I think a lot of those people were insecure not quite serve themselves middle managers who were
• 51:16
  put into middle management because their daddy played golf with someone else's daddy and
• 51:22
  and then it's like why can't I work from home if I can continuously show you that I'm doing a good
• 51:28
  job and it's like well because then what would I do I don't know well that's just it so the thing is
• 51:34
  those middle managers like let's be real they're all probably mid to late 40s or up right so
• 51:41
  all of those folks were put into that position by boomers who are like okay like thanks Johnson
• 51:50
  just finger guns everywhere yeah and they're putting that position and then suddenly at the
• 52:01
  pandemic where they're like oh make sure you're checking in get on the bus get on zoom with your
• 52:05
  people have a conference call I mean I was having daily fucking conference calls daily conference calls
• 52:11
  with a manager who I my desk before the pandemic was literally outside his office door I got maybe
• 52:20
  six different assignments in the full year before the pandemic other than document review which
• 52:26
  let's be honest and intern today regardless we were having these daily conference calls and I was just like
• 52:31
  we're brodering Christ like what are we doing here but it's because they had to be able to say to the
• 52:37
  boomers that put them in that position this is what I did today to make sure my people are paying
• 52:43
  attention to getting their job but they never did that before because they were able to go into
• 52:48
  work and be like hey marky and like move on I have a friend who's doing the same job as I am from her
• 52:56
  own home and she actually like recommended me for this testing job and we will just text one
• 53:02
  another back and forth and you're like oh they must have been hit on during their leader meeting
• 53:07
  about this because everyone's getting a phone call about it cool cool everyone got a DM about this
• 53:14
  today I think we're gonna have to have you and Garrett back so we can talk about massage and
• 53:19
  eat within the medical community because I'm about to just start a second episode but we went with
• 53:24
  jobs instead Garrett has a lot to talk about that one then we will make sure that when I go back so
• 53:30
  I can talk to you and Garrett at the same time that he's also get to come back yeah yeah we'll make
• 53:37
  sure that she's actually available I promise we'll make sure at least that she has power yes
• 53:42
  but let's end the episode with our two little traditions before my dad just like bust down my
• 53:47
  door and it's like I'm just standing out there for 45 minutes and I'm like I do you have a text on
• 53:52
  your phone you're in D&D no I've been checking because I'm in D&D and so I've just been looking
• 53:59
  occasionally which is great for my age stage just be like I guess I'll make the phone light up
• 54:03
  oh I know so we like to end every show with a lesson in the meanestestation so with being kind of
• 54:12
  I hate using the term late in life diagnosed because then it's like late in life pregnancy late in
• 54:18
  life marriage late in life I mean I have all of those things going for me at this point but um no it is
• 54:25
  statistically a late diagnosis in the sense that most um people who are diagnosed in child
• 54:32
  have our diagnosed before you age of 10 yes um and males are diagnosed at three times the rate of
• 54:38
  female or a-fabs anyway um today which is way better than it used to be in the 90s when we were growing
• 54:46
  up and going through school but um it's still you know with three to one odds of getting diagnosed
• 54:52
  and getting those interventions young so um yeah I don't have a problem with late diagnosis
• 54:57
  I'm gonna be a geriatric pregnancy by the time I end up having a kid anyway so
• 55:03
  with every patient it just feels so offensive well I know it's all my boyfriend on the oxygenarian
• 55:10
  I'm sorry for being myself as middle-aged and people do not like that because I'm 34 and I was like
• 55:16
  I don't know though have you checked out climate change like I might be middle-aged
• 55:20
  that is dark but I'm here for it I might be old as hell can it like in conjunction with the
• 55:28
  climate yeah I mean let's we just live through a pandemic yeah and you know I have a medieval and
• 55:35
  pre-modern history major we are you know in the golden years but what what would you say is that
• 55:43
  is your like legacy lesson that you would like to pass on to people like hey kids this is what you
• 55:50
  should know what I would have liked to know most ten years ago is that um you are different
• 56:00
  but there's a reason for it and it's okay it doesn't make you less worthy less valid
• 56:12
  and it doesn't limit your ability to be as accomplished as you want to be
• 56:19
  yeah I think I would like tag on to that and be like instead of putting in all of this energy to
• 56:26
  maybe yourself believe that you deserve grace just do the grace thing to move on like I spend
• 56:34
  like I told you I loved meditation right up until I realized it was a coping mechanism and then
• 56:40
  I was like I hate it because now it's just something that's helping me instead of something I'm
• 56:45
  joined things can be I have this like art date with a friend where we were just like scribbling
• 56:53
  up with oil pastels on the same poster board like parallel plane and I just remember telling him
• 57:00
  like I have a really hard time um actually recognizing what's relaxing and what's just something
• 57:09
  that I'm doing to do a thing he was like what do you mean I go well I go for so long of my life
• 57:16
  relaxing only happened when I was burned out so it involved watching 18 seasons of Mary
• 57:22
  that per site mm-hmm such a good show I love Mary that per site really got them on it whenever you want
• 57:28
  it's so good it's so bad so I was telling him that the only way I can actually be like I relax
• 57:37
  today is that one Saturday a month where my body refuses to move so I have to relax I go
• 57:44
  but doing this like doing art with you like I'm happy we're having great conversation I'm still using
• 57:51
  my creative brain so my brain is activated I go look would you classify this as relaxing so I would
• 58:01
  love to just like have people make that bridge where it's like it all get you get to have the grace
• 58:08
  to create what it is that works for you absolutely I think that's why I love our podcast so much is that
• 58:15
  it scratches that itch mm-hmm I can be weird I can funny I can be intellectual I can do whatever
• 58:23
  I want to be and so can get it and it allows us the space to do that in a really creative way
• 58:30
  so I haven't had to dig out my cross stitch box or start sewing face masks again or you know any
• 58:38
  other random thing because I have this to fill myself into and it's something that yes it's worth
• 58:45
  absolutely there are times when I'm like yep I forgot to make the post that I was supposed to make today
• 58:50
  but um there is so much satisfaction out of it and I think yeah I would agree I
• 58:59
  do I know that Garrett has on our show she's realized that the only way that she relaxes or what she
• 59:08
  deans or quote unquote relaxing activity is actually something that's productive it's cleaning it's
• 59:13
  you know doing stuff around the house and getting projects done and she said on the show she was like
• 59:18
  oh my god do I not know how to relax and it's that kind of thing where kind of have like we've both
• 59:25
  had various existential crisis on the show but um it is that thing where I think it's worth
• 59:33
  um allowing yourself like you said the space to just exist without having to earn the right to
• 59:41
  exist or even have to just like keep scrolling with yourself like I was really good today I was
• 59:48
  really lazy today or like I was a person who relaxed today like we're so hyped up about labels
• 59:54
  and calling things that I'm like not everything has to just be in the name of my mental like
• 1:00:03
  illness it can just be like it eased by depression but it wasn't about my depression to begin but
• 1:00:11
  and I think that when um well then will this come out for you when will this come out for me I feel
• 1:00:18
  like it's another summer one I can pull it up on the Google calendar that's okay so in um in may we
• 1:00:26
  just did two episodes about mine and Garrett's experiences with Diet culture on our case with
• 1:00:32
  dieting and we talked about that thing that we have both done in the past uh well I was really good
• 1:00:42
  today so I I'm allowed to not exercise or I exercise a lot so I can have a glass of wine and kind of
• 1:00:51
  like holding yourself hostage and um and that sort of thing but it taught to women especially
• 1:00:59
  in the context of dieting and in the context of disorder eating build to us as the way to deserve
• 1:01:07
  affection the way to deserve the right to take up space in the world yeah um so yeah what you said
• 1:01:14
  going fits into those episodes of our oh we talk like I'm exhausted about talking about like my
• 1:01:22
  relationship with food and how it some days it's good some days it's bad sometimes I think about it
• 1:01:27
  all day some days I don't think about it all some days foods disgusting and like why would I ever eat
• 1:01:33
  something oh for sure my hyper fixation meals oh they're amazing until they're not and then I would
• 1:01:41
  all just starve until I am hungry enough to find something else to eat but what would be something
• 1:01:48
  that you hope for for the general collective energy in our future when it comes to ADHD diagnosis
• 1:01:56
  massage in the fall of the above I think that there's plenty of space for everybody
• 1:02:07
  mm-hmm I don't I hope that whoever's listening doesn't feel like if they don't have a label for what
• 1:02:14
  they're feeling that that doesn't matter so that's what I'd like to put out to the world I love that
• 1:02:21
  I think finding the PlayStation is going to come from my lord and savior currently Taylor Swift
• 1:02:28
  and I'm just hoping that all you really made me nervous with that lord
• 1:02:32
  no it's usually cash a lady Gaga or Taylor Swift
• 1:02:37
  or Tony Collette oh
• 1:02:41
  no Jesus Bible bells I don't know
• 1:02:46
  uh-uh Jesus Christ and I had a breakup right before I went right when I got into college and I was like
• 1:02:53
  it just doesn't make sense for me my lord and savior Taylor Swift has told us time and time again
• 1:03:01
  that for everyone who thinks account not accountability oh my god accommodations and
• 1:03:07
  accommodating people meeting people where they're at and being empathetic as fuck and just allowing
• 1:03:13
  people to actually thrive with whatever's going on in their body is super hard and will steal joy
• 1:03:19
  from them or time or money or whatever Taylor Swift says you need to calm down you're being too loud
• 1:03:26
  why be mad when you could be glad and that's my manifestation I hope that people calm down
• 1:03:34
  I hope they stop being too loud and I hope they get glad
• 1:03:40
  and not happy and not happy and I hope that everyone if you didn't get errors tickets you at least got
• 1:03:47
  to watch it on TikTok that's a solid manifestation yeah okay tell everyone where they can find
• 1:03:56
  the bar is ankle high so we are on all podcast platforms you can just search our name
• 1:04:02
  the bar is ankle high we're also on youtube with you the subtitles um it's just a static image
• 1:04:07
  we don't do like a video podcast or anything but um you have that available if you need that I don't
• 1:04:14
  go through and like edit the subtitles it's just what I do so like it may not be it'll be perfect
• 1:04:22
  but it's close enough I guess um anyway uh so we're all on all podcasting platforms and our we are
• 1:04:31
  most active on instagram and our handle is at the bar is ankle high or you can go to um bit.ly/incohighmerch
• 1:04:40
  if you want to check out our merch which would link you back to our website or just go to the bar is
• 1:04:46
  anklehigh.com which has all of that information and our bios um all that stuff and listen links
• 1:04:54
  most importantly if you're struggling to find us but I love our Instagram I run the Instagram
• 1:05:01
  I'm super active on it I love getting messages from people occasionally I'll fight with some people
• 1:05:06
  on other posts who are claiming to cure different hormonal conditions or
• 1:05:10
  I think that essential oils can cure disease. Yeah um
• 1:05:14
  they need to know that was the episode as we're as we're recording this the episode that released
• 1:05:21
  this week was about our part one on essential oils and part two we'll talk about essential oils
• 1:05:27
  and ADHD and uh all that bullshit I'd love to have some lavender knowing that it's not doing
• 1:05:35
  anything for me but like what if I just do it not true it actually does do stuff for you with
• 1:05:40
  you smell it so it it interacts with your all factory nerves and triggers a reaction in your
• 1:05:46
  mid-dala which is the motion center of your brain but don't eat them no don't eat them don't eat them
• 1:05:53
  also be here's my PSA like I'm Bob Barker also be careful if you have essential oils in your house
• 1:05:59
  and you have pets because they're very toxic to pets even sometimes the vapor yes yeah yeah so
• 1:06:06
  definitely check with that and um you know MLMs are dangerous anyway right but we do have so by the
• 1:06:14
  time this comes out we'll have had two episodes 36 and 37 on essential oils so if you are curious
• 1:06:20
  about essential oils or worried you can go listen to those and um we have some solid tips from like
• 1:06:26
  Johns Hopkins and like reputable superstitions how to find an aroma therapist who isn't gonna like point
• 1:06:31
  in you and then I think that this episode is coming out after Ellen's episode so I'll make this
• 1:06:39
  plug again if you're a person listening to the podcast and you have ended a toxic relationship or
• 1:06:45
  ended a relationship that was just boring and not serving you a la Taylor Swift and that Joe dude
• 1:06:51
  in Europe or you told off your boss or some other vassadiness or you were in a position where you
• 1:06:58
  stood up for yourself and then looked around and you realized that no one was there to back you up
• 1:07:02
  please do you own me because this episode is coming out August 3rd that means it's been two months
• 1:07:09
  since I've been at the airstomster but I bet you guys still have friendship bracelets and I'll send you
• 1:07:14
  one remember teller readers you don't have to smile through anything you're tolerating including endless
• 1:07:19
  meetings with a boss who's so insecure with themselves and their lives work but they want to know
• 1:07:26
  minute by minute what the fuck you're doing while you're working at home and they definitely don't
• 1:07:31
  want to hear thriving or relaxing. Files are pretty light.
• 1:07:39
  oh
• 1:07:41
  oh
• 1:07:44
  oh
• 1:07:45
  oh
• 1:07:47
  oh
• 1:07:49
  [Music]