Latest / She Speaks to Scale / 15. How to Self Promote Without Feeling Like You're Bragging
Transcript
- Sarah Collins: For me, this would be the fact I have over 20 years experience working behind the scenes at ITV and ITN as a senior producer for many of those years. I am also a certified life coach with a qualification accredited by the International Coaching Federation and a disc practitioner too. Hello and welcome to She Speaks to Scale with me, Sarah Collins. The podcast that empowers women in business to own their voice, be heard and create impact, one communication insight at a time. I'm a media trainer and communication coach and a former senior television producer. It's my mission to bring the communication skills we need to thrive in today's world of business to the generation of women who simply weren't taught them. Something has been brought to my attention this week that I had to make the topic of this podcast episode because I actually feel really passionate about it. And when they say things come to you in threes, it really is a sign. There's been three things this week that has directed me to talking about this. And it is why we, women in particular, are so afraid to talk about and promote what we do. Whether it's scaling your voice to step into thought leadership in a media interview, speaking with confidence on camera, on stage and beyond, or scaling the way you communicate when it really counts. This podcast will help you use your voice to be heard in the moments that matter. The first sign was in my in-person workshop last week when I gave the attendees an exercise which was to work in pairs to work through some questions. One of which was, Why are you the right person to do this? And I introduced this question by saying, Now is your time to shine. And while the room had been full of buzz and energy until that point, it suddenly went a little bit quiet. And then before they started discussing things in pairs, someone said in their own words, ⁓ I don't want to seem like I'm bragging. Thank you for listening to this episode of She Speaks to Scale. If you like the episode or you think it will be useful for someone else, please follow and leave a review. And there it was that notion of if I talk about what I do, other people might think that I'm bragging. So that was the first sign. Then I have my own experience of this last week when I went to release an episode with a former client of mine. And the episode was very much about her story from feeling unheard to then speaking in parliament. If your fears and doubts stop you from appearing on camera and speaking confidently about what you do, then I have some free resources which I will place in the show notes. Remember to speak with intention, not hesitation, and let your voice be heard. But there were questions within the episode where I asked her how she found working with me and also what she does differently as a result. And I remember actually hesitating to put this out. Was it a bit egotistical? What would people think? So there was kind of the second sign. And then the third sign came this morning, literally on the day that I record my podcast, when I opened LinkedIn and at the top of a contacts post, it said the words, selling yourself is never easy, but here it goes. And so there's this universal feeling that we need to dim ourselves and we can't really talk or promote what we do. So that's what I'm going to be addressing in today's episode. Now I very much talk about in the work that I do that we have to understand what makes us stand out from the crowd. I want you to think about the last time you were looking for a service provider. Maybe it was a plumber, a photographer, someone to come and paint your house, maybe it was a coach. You didn't just pick the first name that appeared, you went and looked for evidence. I'm pretty sure, in fact, most of the people that I know look for recommendations. before they use someone themselves, whether that's someone in your network or recommendations online. So you've read those people's words, you've watched perhaps videos, and you've scrolled through that person's content. You're building a picture of who they are, what they stand for, and whether you can trust them with your money, your time and your problem from what other people are saying about them. Your audience is doing exactly the same thing with you. There are people out there who will be watching you from the sidelines, reading your posts, listening to your podcast, or reading your blog, scrolling through your profile and deciding whether you are the person they've been looking for. If we blend in, then no one will ever know about us. If we never provide social proof, no one will ever understand what it's like to work with us. And if we don't speak about what we do, how will anyone know what solutions we provide and how to work with us? I released that podcast episode with my client because it was a great example of what can be achieved when you start trusting and believing your voice. And that's the kind of inspiration I want to put out into this world. Know that people can benefit from what you do and from hearing from you, and that's what you need to focus on the next time you're asked to talk or promote what you do. Now, there's a coaching exercise I've used with clients for years that I want to share with you now because I think it's actually one of the best places to start and also the most powerful things you can do to realize why you stand out from other people. called the achievement timeline, ⁓ its sole purpose is to show you in black and white ⁓ how much you have already done and achieved. So take a piece of paper, open a blank document, or if you're on the go, open the notes app in your phone. Whatever feels right. And if you can draw a line or even just make a list would be fine as well. One end, I want you to mark the year that you were born, and on the other end, I want you to write today's date. And then working your way along, I want you to note down every single achievement you can think of. Big and small, personal and professional, things that got you a huge round of applause, and things that nobody even knows about, every single one of them. You may even need two or three pages if there are a lot, which I'm hoping and there should definitely be. So note down your qualifications, every job you've ever got, a fitness goal perhaps you've achieved, the presentation you successfully delivered, the business you started from scratch. The client who told you that you changed something for them, the time you spoke up when it would have been easier to stay quiet, and the thing that really you, but you did it anyway. ⁓ There's no right or wrong way to do this. Making a list is absolutely fine. The only rule is that you write down everything that comes to mind. Don't look at something you've done and think, ⁓ that doesn't quite count. It all counts. And once you've written everything down, I want you to read it back from beginning. ⁓ And as you read it, I want you to notice how it feels. Because what most people in that moment is a quiet kind of disbelief that they have done so much. Believe me, ⁓ you will be really surprised by how much you have achieved so far. We are really good at discounting our own achievements, filing them away, and moving on to the next thing straight away. This exercise allows you to stop, let them land, and then soak in actually what that feeling is. It's showing you the evidence, the evidence of what you have achieved, of what you've overcome, the evidence of people that you have helped along the way. Now what I want you to do, and this is the last step, is I want you to in some way highlight things ⁓ make you stand out in what you do today. When that attendee said, I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, ⁓ somewhere along the way, we've been conditioned not seem ⁓ egotistical and talk about ourselves, promote our services, admire our own strengths. We were brought up in a generation who told us that speaking too much about ourselves was showing off, ⁓ and that we had to remain modest. Let what you do speak for itself. And in some contexts that is appropriate. But times are very different now. It's noisy out there How are you going to stand out in business, in media interviews, on a podcast, in a room full of people who don't know you exist? If we stay modest and wait for people to stumble across what we do, we will honestly be waiting for a very long time. And it's a strategy that simply doesn't work anymore. There There are plenty of people out there doing a similar thing to what you do. And the only way for people to find you, those that genuinely need what you have to offer, is for you to tell them clearly, confidently, and consistently what makes you different. I'm actually binning the word brag, and I'm coining a new term. And I want you to think of this not as bragging, but as shining a light. Because the opposite of shining a light is dimming yourself, which is when we make ourselves small so that others feel comfortable. We apologize for our achievements, stay quiet about our results, because we don't want to seem like we're showing off. And I want you to notice when you're doing it. And then reframe that bragging as shining a light on what you do. Because if we can't be our own cheerleaders, who is going to cheerlead for you? And if you're worried about what others will think, know that the right people will be cheering you on. When I worked at ITN, this is one of the key messages we would draw out when working with a business. And gaining clarity on this and your other key messages is crucial when it comes to confidently speaking on camera and in media interviews, which is what I help my clients with. I want you to think of why you in terms of these three different things. And actually, in these three things, I have placed examples of what I do, which yes feels a little bit uncomfortable, but this is my platform, ⁓ and ⁓ it like safe space to be able to do that. And again, if I don't cheerlead for what I do, who is going to do that? ⁓ So your expertise and credentials, what do you actually know? What have you studied, trained in, qualified in? What experience have you accumulated over the years? Take the exercise you completed before and highlight these, as I said. Because I can almost guarantee you are discounting things that are genuinely impressive simply because they feel normal to you and perhaps you think everybody knows that. Or has a qualification like that when actually they don't. Only you have the expertise and the experience that you have. So, what is your unique approach or framework? How do you do you do differently from everyone else in your space? This doesn't have to be a radical reinvention. It's often the specific blend of your background, ⁓ your approach, and your perspective that nobody else can replicate. For me, this is the fact I blend media training with coaching because I believe you can have all the tools to deliver a great interview, but to come across as confident and credible, you have to have the trust and belief in what you are saying. And thirdly, it's your results and social proof. What has actually happened for the people you've worked with? What changed? What do they go on to do, say, or achieve? What was going on for them before they worked with and what do they do differently as a result? These aren't stories you tell to show off, it's evidence that what you do works. And it's this exact evidence that your ⁓ idle client needs before they feel safe enough to invest in For me, a client I worked with last year now speaks on stages internationally, and yet when we first met, she had no experience of speaking about what she does in person. Even providing these examples of my own business has made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I haven't got to where I am in my business by staying within my comfort zone. So here are three things I want you to consider the next time you feel the urge to dim. If you stay where you are and tell yourself not to shine, where will you be in six months' time? Still at the same level of visibility, still waiting for the right moment, still watching other people with less experience and fewer results than you step into the opportunities you've been saying no to. Is that really where you want to be? Then recognize who you are dimming for, because the people who matter, the people who are genuinely your people, are not sitting there hoping you'll stay quiet. They are waiting for you to show up. They want to hear from you, learn from you, work with you, be inspired by you. The person you are afraid of judging, they're too busy worrying about their own visibility to notice yours. One of my favorites, what would you say to a friend in this situation? If someone you've loved and care about came to you and said, I don't want to talk about what I do because I don't want to seem like I'm bragging, what would you tell them? The three moments I shared at the start of this episode, my workshop, my client podcast, the LinkedIn posts, they weren't coincidences. They were a reminder that this is one of the most universal struggles women in business face. And if you've been nodding along to this episode, it's a reminder for you too. You are not bragging when you talk about what you know. You are not showing off when you share what your clients have achieved. You are not being egotistical when you answer the question, why you, with clarity and conviction. are shining a light and showing others what is possible. to the potential client who might want to work with you, to the person who's a few steps behind you in business. Dimming may be ingrained in us, but it's something that we can alter with time, consistency, and a complete belief in what we do.