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Transcript

Do People Change? · Obnoxiously Pleasant

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Hi everybody and welcome back.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Or if you're joining us for the first time, I'm Hanan.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Melina.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: And we are obnoxiously pleasant.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you guys for joining us.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is episode what, three?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Four?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Four.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Four?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe it.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Episode four.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: We've been working really hard on this.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm very excited for us.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you only you guys saw what we do behind the scenes to make this happen, whether it's with our schedule or the actual business.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard work, but it brings us so much joy.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, especially after all of you guys who've sent comments or just text messages or emails, whatever.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like we really appreciate it.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: We really do.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: It has been.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: I was telling Lena yesterday and today, and we had like a uh like a one-on-one.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a like a our quasi-seudo planning session that we like to do.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And um Wait, what do you mean?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: You never called me.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't call her.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she did you mean the day before?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: The day before.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: When we talked about like an hour because yesterday she was supposed to call me, and I'm like, oh yeah.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I went out.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: She was having fun with her fun time friends.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, no, they're actually my real friends, but it's not just that.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Just to let you guys know, um, she always does that, she thinks I'm loud.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, editing this is a nightmare.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: It is, it is because I'm like, yeah, but um, anyways, no, I went out yesterday, and you guys know from the last episode, if you watched the last episode, she doesn't do anything at night, okay?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: So that's not the point.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: The point is you were supposed to call me.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, she and then this morning I get this message like, I thought you were sleeping.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: She wasn't sleeping anyway.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: She wasn't, she's a night owl.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, anyways, I just wanted to begin before we get into the topic of today's episode, which is do people change, right?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: We just wanted to say thank you to everybody who has subscribed, commented, engaged with any of our content on Instagram.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna plug us on Instagram, YouTube, Spotify, Amazon.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: TikTok, TikTok, TikTok soon.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have some fun stuff for you guys.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what, we totally messed up the intro, but we're gonna go with it because Hanan has to pick up her kids at five.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: So Imagine with my kid, my kid and a friend's kid.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, that's like double the response.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: So the intro is supposed to be hello, welcome, guys.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna discuss the old routine, and then we just went off on We always do that, but yeah, that's but that's exactly how we talk, and that's why you guys are here.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: You're here for it, right?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: But um, yeah, before we get into today's topic, I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, a whole like just heartfelt thank you.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: You guys have no idea the amount of positive comments that we've gotten.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes us feel awesome then and motivated.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's really uplifting, it's just brings all this amazing, like positive energy into our realm, and I'm here for it.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, now on to today's topic.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, no, wait, wait, before we go on to today's today's topic, I just want to like while editing these episodes, because she doesn't edit either.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know she just shows up.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the talent.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: We discussed this.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, every single episode, you've mentioned our age.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: So now every time you mention our age, you have to give me five dollars.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Every single time you mention our age.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: We're 41.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: 40.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, she's just mad because she's older than me.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't turned 41 yet.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm older than you by four months.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, kind of.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Four and full months.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Four and whole months.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm older than you, so you have to have response.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, whatever.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Four months.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Anyhow.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let's see.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: This week's topics, pay attention.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, go ahead.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, are you ready, ma'am?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm ready.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm right.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get into this week's topics, which is do topic, not topics, I can't talk today.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Topic, which is do people change?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: What is your opinion on that?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because I have a really strong opinion on the word change in general.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: So before I give my opinion, I'd love to hear yours about change.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, do you see that as an essential part of of you know growth?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Or do you feel like it's harsh?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Do you feel like it is difficult to go through?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: I just kind of want to hear your opinion on whether or not you think you've changed, right?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: In life.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you have, and I'm I kind of know a little bit, but do you think people are actually capable of that?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think there's there's change in terms of personality.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't think people change their personality.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Do people change their habits and the way they do things?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I think so.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think people can change their views on certain things.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, whether, I mean, when it comes to politics, it's a little bit difficult because you know, people are just you're either this way or that way, no matter how much you try to convince the other person.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't think so much it's politics, but I think in terms of uh just your views on life and maybe certain uh issues that when you were younger, you thought, oh, um this is how it is.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: But then with life and with experiences, you end up realizing, hey, no, maybe this is not.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think in that regard, yes, but in terms of personality, uh no, you don't change.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: I love that because I honestly, to a certain degree, I agree with you.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: For me, change, the idea of change in general, changes people find change to be really difficult.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like change is really abrupt.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny, and I had told Lena earlier the story about me coming up with the word abrupt.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: I actually, I wasn't the one that came up with it.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: It was my husband two nights ago when her and I were talking on the phone.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: I said, you know, like I find change to be really difficult.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, because it's just and I kept going like this to him.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what is this?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's just this is change.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so he went into the bathroom and came out and he goes, Abrupt.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: You're looking for the word abrupt.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, notice how he had to go to the bathroom to come up and you know get these grand because I always get my grand idea in the bat after the bathroom.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so thanks to Mahmoud.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to him for that one.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: But um, but no, I always feel like change is difficult, especially especially like it puts a lot of pressure on you or the other person that you have expectations of.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: I like to think of it as like we evolve through life, right?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I agree with you on personality, but I think even your personality like evolves.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but you evolve, I think so.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you evolve, but I think in general, uh, you can't look okay, maybe you're gonna go later on to this discussion, but you can't change someone.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: The only control you have is over yourself.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's very true.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I wholeheartedly agree with you on that.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of issues when it comes, you know, when you're with a significant other who does things and you're just like, and we're not talking about an annoying, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Just in general, like actual, like detrimental to the relationship things.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I agree.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So when that when when if you're expecting that person to change, I don't think that's possible.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny that you say that because you know what made me think of this week's topic specifically on specifically on do people change is last week when we were talking about toxic friends.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, because it's like you were saying earlier, no, people can't change their personalities.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it is like, look, I like to look at it as evolving, right?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like we all evolve because for me, evolving is an editor of process.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: So you are allowed to kind of go through these motions and figure out who you are.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of times when you're experiencing this change or this, you're evolving, people can see it as you know, you're being selfish.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or um, and and it was really the the issue of toxic friends that kind of made that light bulb come on for me.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah, you know, a lot of times when you leave people behind is because they don't appreciate like the process of you evolving, right?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, sometimes.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes sometimes they're just assholes.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they're just nasty people that you need to get rid of.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, Yeah, but sometimes they're not though, right?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they're not actually toxic at all.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes they're people that you actually love and care for, but they just don't appreciate it.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I see where she I see where you're going with this.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think sometimes some people are at different stages in their life.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh some of us get there to another stage at a sooner time or a later time than others.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's because that's because I've had friends who left and then came back.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: But did they come back as better people?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: I had one, I had one experience with it.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: So and and that was that was pleasantly, that was a pleasant surprise.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was actually, I was like, oh my god, this person is even more awesome than when like before.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: But see, that's exactly what I'm talking about, right?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's what I consider evolving, not changing, right?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't like I don't want to say I don't believe in it.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: I like I said, I just think changes.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: But the personality is still the same.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm saying.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: The personalities don't change.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I need you to explain that to me a little bit because I feel like sometimes people's personalities do evolve.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um because I feel like sometimes people do come back as completely different people.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Are you saying they're just lying?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think because once you reach a certain age, and like I mentioned this before in the last episode, once once you reach a certain age, I think it's very difficult to change who you are as a person.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think because you have certain traits and characteristics.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't think you're changing as much as, like I said, you are like evolving.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like sometimes there are things about myself, right?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: That I may have been okay with, like, say five years ago that I'm not okay with now.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Am I the same person?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, but I feel like maybe life experiences kind of shape your personality a little bit.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: I understand what you're saying, but you aren't the same, okay.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're still the same fun, outgoing, loving, caring, Hanan.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: That hasn't changed.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: She makes a good point.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that hasn't changed.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm still annoyed by people, you know, like I was 20 years ago.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, she was.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: You actually, you know what?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: She has evolved.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: She's more annoyed by people than she was 20 years ago.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's true.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's gotten worse.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: It has gotten worse.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, I think if people make an actual, look, I think some people can.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the number, the percentage of that is is very small.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't think your average person, unless they have a huge event happen in their life that kind of makes them, you know, kind of shakes them at the core.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: No, you don't think?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, maybe, maybe.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: I just feel like people were one thing, you know, at some point in their lives and they evolve into something completely different.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think throughout that process, there are things that happen to you that other people may not appreciate, but like people who are with you, you know, for this ride who like your ride or die, right?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, yeah, I am the same, for example, fun, loving person I was when I first met you 20 years ago.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: But don't you feel like there are things about me that have changed, right?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe yes, not my personality at its core, but I feel like there are events that have shaped my personality.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: So what has changed?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: You don't think so?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean you have curly hair now.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: I have curly hair now.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, but like tell me, what's I feel like I was way more tolerant of a lot of BS in my life that I've done.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, all right, okay.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like life taught me that.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I feel like I've had sex.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you're watching.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: But that's so that's a female thing, I think.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god, no.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: No, you know why?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because we, as women in general, whether it's at, you know, work or with our kids or in any relationship we have, we're always worried about what the other person is gonna think or feel about us.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then eventually we get tired of doing that crap, and then we move on and we evolve.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, you know what?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm tired of this shit.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I'm gonna say the S word.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm tired of this, and I'm gonna stop doing this.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, but is that really changing who you are at the court?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're just fat up.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, you're not changing who you are at the court, but I do feel like you get to a point where, and that's why I was saying, like, I don't think people change, I think people evolve.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I like the word evolve.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: So elaborate more on the word, like, what do you mean by that?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Evolve.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Evolve.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like like I said, change is abrupt.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Evolving is an iterative process, right?
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: If you are constantly working on some certain facets of yourself, and you may make mistakes along the way, but I think eventually you arrive at the place that you want to go, right?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you made mistakes, or maybe you get caught up in some situations that cause you to make these mistakes, or maybe these mistakes are people, right?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's when I say mistake, I don't mean like an actual event.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean events, people, jobs, all kinds of things, right?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like those changes, right?
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: When you say like I'm working on myself or whatever, um, it you just you you eventually land where you are.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think, I think, okay, I understand what you're saying a little bit.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think for us, yeah, I mean, I think it's a natural process, yeah.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: The evolution of a person.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: I actually don't think so.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's another, I think it's actually you are you have to be way more self-aware than you want to be when you're if when you're yeah, you know why?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think if if I think the majority of people, and I don't want to hate on anybody, but I think the majority of people, and and myself included, it's just easier to stick with what you know.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's true.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's very true.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you kind of fall into this, okay.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm used to this, whether it's a horrible job you have or a bad relationship or whatever situation you're in, sometimes it's just easier to go along with it than actually make an effort.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it is, it's really like to eve to change yourself or to evolve.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll speak for myself.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna speak for anybody else.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's actually a much more difficult process than just being, you know, kind of for me, it's like I would feel like I'm stagnating if I didn't change certain things about my life that I didn't like, right?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think when you say evolve for me, like now I I'm thinking you're saying this stuff, and I'm thinking about it, okay.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, people don't change their personality, but maybe I'm kind of seeing how people can evolve just from like everyday.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, think about somebody like this, right?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: And think about somebody who like 10 years, and you have this person in your life, right?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: Who maybe 10 years ago, right?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe more actually.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: God like See, I told you five dollars.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're giving me five dollars every time.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get any cash.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: You mentioned that I don't get it cash.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, there's something called Ben.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but anyway, I um somebody who um, like you specifically, you know, you said to yourself, okay, like this person I don't want in my life anymore.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like this person doesn't understand me.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: This person has no idea, like, you know, if I'm serious or if I'm joking, and they take everything super personally, and that's just not me.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: I believe it or not, Lena has a phenomenal sense of humor.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, even though it's like, but the problem is people think I'm serious because my face is pretty, like, yeah.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's it confuses people.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you don't have people in your life that you know, I mean, I'm sure you do.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: People in your life that have evolved from the moment that you met them.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: They're very different.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said earlier in that, like in this episode, there was a person uh who came back into my life and so just for reference, because I don't know this person.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: So just for reference, was this like a childhood friend or like an early, like early childhood or like early adolescence, or like early adulthood?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Early, I mean, I would say early adulthood.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: So this person, you know, we had a falling out over something stupid.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and and then, you know, we just didn't talk to each other for years, and then this person came back into my life, and it's like we never stopped.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Stop the beat.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but see, but that means that person changed something in the concepts.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that person made an effort to approach me and to speak to me, and I've never been happier than you know, like and I think But that person has evolved.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm saying.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Is that person?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're right.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's the idea is growing on me.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're you're getting there and convincing me that people can.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think you can't say people can change, but evolve, yes, because I think like when you evolve, it's a much slower process.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: But that's my whole point is I don't believe abruptly like you.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't believe people can change.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: I believe people can evolve.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because yes, change means that like you were saying earlier, at your core, something's gonna be different.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Evolve is an iterative process.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: You are slowly working on aspects of yourself that you may not like, but that are in your control to change, right?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: So since we always try to be helpful, yeah, right, we try, you know.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: I said on the first episode, you go and get some advice.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if it's gonna be good, but you're gonna get some advice.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I said we're gonna try to give you guys advice, and then she completely took up whatever on it.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, I I'll tell you, I'll I'll I'll share with you folks my sort of um journey, right?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like what I was focused on when it comes to things about myself that I don't like that I want to make better.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: And um it we all have stuff about ourselves that we don't like, right?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like I mean, I love myself the way I am, but you are such a freaking liar.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Liar, liar, pans on fire.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm joking.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: But no, we we all have things about ourselves that we know we can improve on, right?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it is something um sort of like, you know, and I'm not talking about like just morals and values.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: No, I mean everything, right?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, um, I think it's like when I started to realize that I can't become a different person, but I can improve certain things about myself that are holding me back from being better, right?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I think the first step of that is is me realizing that I don't really actually care about people's opinions.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's about how I feel about how something makes me feel.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like what does this thing mean to me?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, for example, right, society tells you like you need to be thin.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm happy in my body.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Could I be 10 pounds lighter?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: Could I be 20?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: And this is something super physical, but obviously physical manifests emotional and vice versa.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: Of course.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: It has a big thing.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: I realize that like I'm cute.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: I look good.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: You look amazing.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: I look good.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, why should I care if people tell me, like, oh, you'll be, and by the way, that's like a huge thing in like Middle Eastern cultural, you'd be so cute if you were just a little thinner.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: You'd be so beautiful if this, this, this.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like, why the if?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I am happy with me.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: So then when I stopped, like seriously stopped caring and being like, you know what, I don't care.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna dress the body that I have.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And that's like I said, something super some people may not think that that's something really expensive, but I know it is like your body image issues are like huge, right?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, it makes it, it's it plays a big role in in you know your confidence and you know, your self-esteem.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and it affects people in every facet of life, I think.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you don't have a good uh self-image, is that the word is that the way?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think an image, like a good, a good um, like yeah, like a good, a good image of yourself.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, then it's gonna affect your relationships, it's gonna affect you at work, it's gonna affect you with your kids because it's gonna be like gnawing at you at the back of your head.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, it's one thing when I said to myself, I'm like, okay, you know what?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm never gonna be thin.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm never gonna be thin.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: But maybe for me, um, dressing myself in the best possible way that I can for me is gonna make me happy.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I think like once that light turned on, and that's what I mean by an iterative process.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like I had years of like yo-yo dieting, I've had years of trying every fad that's out there.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Then you come to realize you're like, I look amazing.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I look amazing.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: She's amazing.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: She's beautiful.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: I look amazing.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I like for me, when I started feeling like I look amazing and kind of exuding that, you're like, okay, you know what?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Your entire, I think, uh looking perspective and demeanor changes.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, your demeanor changes.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: You carry and yourself with more confidence.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: So that's just like one thing for me that like I it it was huge for me.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I my whole life, I've been like super chunky my whole life.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: Let's be, I'm just yeah.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you've known me since I was a child, like I've always been, you know, there's some extra cushion for the Push in.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: But once I started, once I realized, like, you know what?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, this extra cushion like makes me who I am, and you build confidence around that, you're like, you know what, this is actually like I appreciate this part of me.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: But it took a while to get there.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna lie.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean that is true.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you've evolved.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: That for me, I've evolved.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: I've evolved, and I think a huge part of that, like I said, is blocking out, like, blocking out what people are saying and just listening to what you want.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that's sort of like step one in starting to change things about yourself that you don't like.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't mention, are we done with this topic?
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have something else to talk about.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: This topic?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do people change?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are we done with this topic?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: What are we talking about?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm upset.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm upset that she didn't even mention my hair today, guys.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, Lila got her hair done.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: She did.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: So no more gray hair, guys.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, it looks amazing.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, it honestly, she was rocking the gray hair.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you know, I'm thinking, I'm seriously thinking of letting the gray hair grow.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: We have one friend.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to Shireen.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: Shereen, I know you watch one friend who did that.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: She became a silver fox a few years ago that looked amazing on her.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think I might do that eventually.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not I'm not there yet.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you'll get there in time.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: See, you're gonna evolve.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna evolve.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just don't care.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but but that's a huge that that is evolving in every time.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think it's so much that I don't care.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think it goes back to the first point I'm just making, which is you tell you're now tuning out like negative things.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think now, and maybe that just I don't know.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think with all of our experiences, we just realize the only person you really need to impress is yourself.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I completely agree with you.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: I really think that that is um phenomenal when you the what you just said, which is you realize that you only have to impress yourself.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel that's part of that journey that we were talking about earlier, which is you know, you kind of start to look inward and figure out what makes you happy.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it is, it is, and that's why I always say evolving, it is it truly a journey.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times when you're like on that field trip, that journey, a lot of people just don't get it.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people think you're going through something.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I think what's important for us to uh kind of highlight is like I said in the beginning, just don't try to change anybody.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, because they don't want to change, yeah.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: But that's part of you being on that journey, Lena.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: But if it doesn't come in, it doesn't come from within that person, don't expect that because a lot of a lot of people fall into that trap.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're like, oh, I'm gonna change him.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm gonna change her.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then they they get like the surprise of their life.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: I know, but yeah, because people don't change.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: But when you get married to someone, you gotta love the crust, the nastiness, the the everything.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, I'm gonna make that into a t-shirt.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: When you marry someone, you gotta love the crust.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Everything in, out, like the nastiness with the with the good stuff.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: I agree, I agree.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's just not that anyone, but that's everything.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's like that's even when you take on somebody and you become like super close friends.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you do, you have to like love the crust.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: I totally agree.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, you shouldn't try to change anybody, but that's why I always say like work on yourself, yeah, on improving yourself.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't even have to be changes, improve yourself for yourself, not for anybody else.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: When you're going through that process, okay, just to go back to my previous point, when you're going through this process, this iterative process that we're talking about, evolving.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, do you think it's okay to leave people behind?
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: You think so?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, like people shouldn't feel guilty, right?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, because because you know what?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's and I think like we had an experience early on as well where this one person was at a different part in their life.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you know who I'm talking to.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: And like it caused so much issues, and I'm and I'm just like, I'm good.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to do that.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I want to do this, yeah, because we're at different times or parts of our life, and it's nothing against that person.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: But I also think it's like when you're it's not just being a time, it's like when you are going through that process of changing yourself.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of times you need to weed certain things out, right?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: In order to feel like you are accomplishing the goals that you set for yourself.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: But even if you weed that person or things out, that it doesn't mean they're out forever.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: No, I think that person, yeah, you know, sometimes they can catch up, or sometimes you catch up with them, and sometimes you're like, you know what, those things don't matter to me anymore.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and sometimes your paths just don't ever cross again, to be completely honest with you.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: Just to like kind of go recap really quickly.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: I do not believe that people can change.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I do, however, believe that people can evolve.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's really important to figure out what you need to make that process happen.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't happen overnight.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: It truly, it is a journey.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's a journey.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: And and I mean, I'm still on it, you're still on it.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: We evolve.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: I truly believe that we evolve throughout our like the entirety of our lives, like until the day that we die, right?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so you just have to figure out like where does that process begin for you?
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I really think it's just, you know, blocking out for me.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: The way I started this was blocking out things that I knew um were holding me back, right?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so holding me back, holding me back from a series of whatever, right?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: Can you not check your phone?
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: You and I am having another epiphany and she's checking her phone.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, I'm still actually working.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and we need to wrap it up and do it.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: We're at like 32 minutes.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, we love you guys.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: You guys are amazing.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for dropping by.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: What are you just gonna say goodbye like that?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what do you want me to do?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Miss, um I'm still working.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: I really hope uh you found this episode useful or at least it entertained you if you didn't find it useful.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I hope you guys like, comment, subscribe.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to see some engagements from you.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: We would love.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she would love to read some emails from you.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, some of us actually respond to people who leave comments.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: I do on only on Instagram.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm responsible for.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the talent and I'm responsible for Instagram.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: She does everything else.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: But thank you for stopping by.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see you again next week.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Same time, same place.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: All right, take care, guys.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.