Latest / Two Broke Chicks / "Am I The Asshole?" | Advice With The Chicks

Transcript

"Am I The Asshole?" | Advice With The Chicks · Two Broke Chicks

0:00
Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land, Always was, always
0:03
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey chicks, I'm ol and I'm
0:13
Speaker 1: and this is two broad Chicks, the show that shares
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Speaker 1: life lessons and ticks to make you rich in life.
0:19
Speaker 1: And welcome back for another Fabby dab episode. Fabby Dabby Doo,
0:23
Speaker 1: Shabby Debby Doo Babes, How are you?
0:26
Speaker 2: What's the crack? What is the crack? We're getting to.
0:29
Speaker 1: The end of the year.
0:30
Speaker 3: I'm ready, Christmas is in the air, starting to feel festive.
0:35
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I put my Christmas tree up yesterday.
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Speaker 2: It is so fun. I made my boyfriend go down
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Speaker 2: to the garage and get it. Though, I was like,
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Speaker 2: watch your spy, despie. That's their job.
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Speaker 1: Enjoys anyone's job that's not me, But doesn't matter who
0:49
Speaker 1: you are.
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Speaker 2: I don't want to get it. Same as taking down
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Speaker 2: the rubbish.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, not not fine, not not fine, but my job.
0:56
Speaker 2: I won't sack the dishwasher. I'll do all that shit.
0:59
Speaker 2: We all have our exactly, but we've got a dilemma.
1:06
Speaker 1: We've got multiple dilemmas, actually, but we have got the
1:11
Speaker 1: bro Chicks hotline and we're going to be going through
1:14
Speaker 1: your chicks dilemmas and giving you our two cents little advice.
1:18
Speaker 2: We'll just reading them out and have a good gin wag.
1:20
Speaker 1: But before we get into it, we talk about our
1:23
Speaker 1: obsessions of the week.
1:24
Speaker 2: So, sour, what are you obsessed with?
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Speaker 3: My obsession of the week is the Gladiator two movie.
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Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, yeah, so Alex and I were
1:34
Speaker 1: lucky enough to transport.
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Speaker 2: It into another universe.
1:37
Speaker 3: Into the Roman Empire.
1:40
Speaker 2: Before Mescal.
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Speaker 4: Oh my god, yeah, actually maybe, but yeah, so we
1:46
Speaker 4: were lucky enough to get invited by Paramount to go
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Speaker 4: see I think it was the world premiere of the
1:52
Speaker 4: film in Sydney, and we're both huge fans of the
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Speaker 4: Gladiator movie, the original, and we actually watched it on
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Speaker 4: the plane home again from.
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Speaker 3: Europe, because when else would you watch it.
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Speaker 2: It's the most perfect timing. It's also a great plane
2:07
Speaker 2: movie because it's so long.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, so true, so really like and then it really
2:11
Speaker 1: like puts you to sleep at the end.
2:12
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, the soundtrack's so good. But yeah, the Gladiator
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Speaker 3: two sequel is.
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Speaker 2: Really really good.
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Speaker 3: I don't want to give away any spoilers because it
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Speaker 3: hasn't dropped in cinemas yet, but definitely go see it.
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Speaker 3: It's action packed, the cast is amazing, soundtrack is great.
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Speaker 2: Again.
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Speaker 3: It is like a little bit more like violent maybe
2:34
Speaker 3: than the first one, So maybe keep that in mind.
2:36
Speaker 3: But if you're a fan of like Game of Thrones
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Speaker 3: and things like that, you can handle that level of
2:41
Speaker 3: violence in TV and movies, You'll be able to handle it.
2:44
Speaker 3: But I loved it and I can't wait to go
2:46
Speaker 3: see it again.
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Speaker 1: It kind of added like shock value that like we
2:50
Speaker 1: were sitting there and like our jaws were on the floor. Yeah,
2:52
Speaker 1: and jam was just covering her eyes and yeah, didn't
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Speaker 1: know like Apple Watch or something.
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Speaker 3: Say, her heart rate was Yeah, I'm.
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Speaker 2: Like, that's a good review in my book.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, my obsession of the week is kind of boring,
3:10
Speaker 1: but it's just super un thee.
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Speaker 2: But I am back on my shopping bullshit. I feel like.
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Speaker 1: This year I've been really really reserved in terms of
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Speaker 1: like what I want to buy. And I still still
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Speaker 1: very much am but I've been so much more intentional
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Speaker 1: with my shopping.
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Speaker 2: And you know, when you're shopping for a certain like
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Speaker 2: occasion or something.
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Speaker 1: And you can never find anything, You're like, I hate
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Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I've got a birthday or a wedding
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Speaker 1: coming up, and you're like, cool, everything's garbage.
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Speaker 2: There is so much that I like right now, and
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Speaker 2: I am just like, yeah, I fucking deserve this.
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Speaker 3: Work hard.
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Speaker 2: I work hard.
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Speaker 1: I saved my money, and basically this whole year, I've
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Speaker 1: been putting like I've been playing like a bingo card
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Speaker 1: this like whole year to get to like sale season
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Speaker 1: and be like, yeah, if I fucking want that, I'm
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Speaker 1: gonna buy it. H And obviously I'm not trying to
4:02
Speaker 1: promote just like shopping something just because it's on sale,
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Speaker 1: and I genuinely do like these products, but I just
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Speaker 1: I was saying to sale, I was like, I just
4:10
Speaker 1: love sale season.
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Speaker 2: I love doing Christmas shopping and.
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Speaker 1: Having a look around and then buying that thing that
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Speaker 1: you wanted for ages and it's on sale and you're like, oh,
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Speaker 1: just I love it.
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Speaker 2: It's a good feeling. It brings medjoy. Okay, So.
4:30
Speaker 1: We have our Broke Chicks hotline phone where you chicks
4:34
Speaker 1: text in your dilemmas and we read them live on
4:38
Speaker 1: air for the first time.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's a surprise for everyone involved.
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Speaker 1: So if they make it into the episode, know that
4:46
Speaker 1: this is the first time that we're reading them, all right,
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Speaker 1: our first chick's dilemma. So I'm a twenty two year
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Speaker 1: old straight girl in baggage, she said, unfortunately, and I
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Speaker 1: haven't really liked anyone for the past five years, maybe.
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Speaker 2: At least intensely.
5:00
Speaker 1: And we last year, my younger cousin's best friend that
5:03
Speaker 1: I've known for years started hanging around my family more
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Speaker 1: and eventually admitted that he had feelings for me. It's
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Speaker 1: giving the summer, I turned.
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Speaker 2: Pretty That's exactly what I was singing.
5:12
Speaker 1: Anyway, Stupid me didn't realize he was actually saying the truth,
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Speaker 1: and I kind of brushed it off, even though I had.
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Speaker 2: Deep feelings for him too. Oh my god, Scandalo.
5:22
Speaker 1: Eventually we started talking, and as time went on, I
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Speaker 1: forgot to reply to a few messages of his, which.
5:27
Speaker 2: I didn't realize at the time.
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Speaker 1: A month went by without any communication, which made me
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Speaker 1: think he must not like me, and I eventually get
5:34
Speaker 1: the news that.
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Speaker 2: He has leukemia.
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Speaker 1: One day is when I were at a family event
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Speaker 1: without any hair, looking rather depleted, and even though I
5:41
Speaker 1: swore I wouldn't like him again, the feelings came straight
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Speaker 1: back and we clicked so well and had our first
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Speaker 1: mature relationship like conversation basically in front of the entire family.
5:50
Speaker 1: I am part of a traditional Greek family, so we
5:53
Speaker 1: all know that you shouldn't get on that well with
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Speaker 1: your boy cousin's best friends. We had to hide things
5:58
Speaker 1: for a while, and eventually it became too hard, so
6:01
Speaker 1: we swallowed our pride and decided to leave things where
6:03
Speaker 1: they were and in the future, if something were to
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Speaker 1: happen again and the time is right, then that'll be great.
6:08
Speaker 1: But I don't think it'll happen because it's just too hard. However,
6:12
Speaker 1: I know in my heart every single time I see
6:14
Speaker 1: him and every time he sees me, that it's game over,
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Speaker 1: and it brushes back every time sounds crying like this
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Speaker 1: bloke has liked me since he was in year eight
6:23
Speaker 1: and I was in year ten and has treated me
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Speaker 1: such adoringly since.
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Speaker 2: Not a crazy, wild.
6:28
Speaker 1: Sex story, but wild for me and honestly felt like
6:31
Speaker 1: a movie for a while.
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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm literally trying not to cry.
6:37
Speaker 2: That is so beautiful.
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Speaker 1: I know, like what you've said, it's like, you're not
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Speaker 1: supposed to get on that well with your boy cousin's
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Speaker 1: best friend.
6:44
Speaker 2: But like you do, and like people might be weird.
6:49
Speaker 1: I obviously don't know their family, but like surely people
6:53
Speaker 1: would get over it, Like there might be a little
6:55
Speaker 1: bit of a weird bit at the start.
6:57
Speaker 2: Of even being like what no, yeah, issues.
7:01
Speaker 3: But I think you don't know until you try. And
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Speaker 3: I just think that if he's been unwell and has
7:09
Speaker 3: gone through that, and then that's made you realize you
7:12
Speaker 3: still have feelings for them, It's kind of like life
7:16
Speaker 3: was giving you both that opportunity to like bring you
7:19
Speaker 3: back together and be like this is your chance. Like
7:22
Speaker 3: there's no guarantees in life that there's going to be
7:24
Speaker 3: a later because not saying that you know anything is
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Speaker 3: going to happen to him, but he might get into
7:30
Speaker 3: a relationship with somebody else or yeah, I just think
7:33
Speaker 3: give it a go, Like you haven't even given it
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Speaker 3: a chance.
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Speaker 2: Please keep us updated.
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Speaker 1: I feel like that is yeah, Like she's like it
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Speaker 1: felt like a movie and I'm like, fuck it, buddy,
7:45
Speaker 1: sounds like yeah.
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Speaker 2: And you haven't liked anybody else for years.
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Speaker 3: Oh that's probably why, because your heart is somewhere else.
7:54
Speaker 3: And I think that.
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Speaker 2: If you like someone, just fucking go with it. If
7:59
Speaker 2: you love someone tell them, yeah, this.
8:02
Speaker 3: Is like the cheesiest shit ever, but whatever, it's.
8:04
Speaker 2: Almost Christmas in it. Being in love.
8:08
Speaker 3: Is the best feeling in the entire world and is
8:12
Speaker 3: the greatest experience you can have as a human, whether
8:15
Speaker 3: that's with someone romantically or in any other way you
8:18
Speaker 3: can experience love. Do not shut those opportunities down because
8:23
Speaker 3: they might not necessarily come back or come back in
8:25
Speaker 3: the same way.
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Speaker 2: Please shoot your shot.
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Speaker 1: Yeah my god, Oh my gosh, and text us with
8:32
Speaker 1: an updake.
8:34
Speaker 2: Yes. Hi girls. I have a dilemma for the advice
8:38
Speaker 2: with the Cheeks segment. First of all, I really love
8:41
Speaker 2: you guys. Your friendship is literally all I've ever wanted.
8:43
Speaker 1: I love your positivity and how you level up in
8:46
Speaker 1: life together.
8:46
Speaker 2: Here's my dilemma.
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Speaker 1: I'm in a tricky friendship situation and they don't know
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Speaker 1: how to navigate it.
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Speaker 2: I met my best friend last year. Let's call her Charlotte.
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Speaker 1: We've been pretty close ever since we met. Charlotte has
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Speaker 1: been a great friend to me and we generally have
9:00
Speaker 1: a great time together when we hang out.
9:02
Speaker 2: She's a great friend.
9:04
Speaker 1: However, Charlotte has another best friend, and due to Charlotte
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Speaker 1: wanting to spend time with both of us. She's formed
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Speaker 1: this trio. Let's call the other girl Olivia. I love
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Speaker 1: when people send in.
9:13
Speaker 2: Fact names Sam.
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Speaker 1: Despite being a trio, I always feel like I'm out
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Speaker 1: of the know on things. They hang out just the
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Speaker 1: two of them quite a bit without inviting me, which
9:22
Speaker 1: I totally think is okay, as they are more than
9:25
Speaker 1: welcome to have their own time together as they have
9:27
Speaker 1: their own friendship that doesn't involve me.
9:30
Speaker 2: Just when I plan things with Charlotte, it.
9:32
Speaker 1: Becomes obvious that they have had a discussion about it
9:35
Speaker 1: and how will join us as.
9:39
Speaker 2: Did she change up? Wasn't it Olivia? Wait? What wait?
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Speaker 5: I fucking love that because that's me telling a story.
9:50
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, wait wait waitee makes sense if I
9:53
Speaker 1: keep reading.
9:54
Speaker 2: Just when I plan things with Charlotte, it becomes obvious
9:57
Speaker 2: that they have had do You Reckon?
10:03
Speaker 3: Her real name is no, do You Reckon?
10:09
Speaker 2: It reminds him in the office.
10:12
Speaker 5: When Michael Scott writes that screenplay and he has like
10:18
Speaker 5: about Michael Skarn and he has a really annoying sidekick
10:21
Speaker 5: who's obviously Dwight, and he's written Dwight all through it
10:25
Speaker 5: and then done like a command f replace with a
10:28
Speaker 5: different name, but there's.
10:29
Speaker 3: One twigged left in there, so they know that it's
10:32
Speaker 3: about Dwight.
10:33
Speaker 2: That's what this is. Giving the fuck that's really funny.
10:39
Speaker 1: There was recently a concert that we all really wanted
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Speaker 1: to go to. However, Charlotte got two tickets and automatically
10:45
Speaker 1: gave the ticket to Olivia without even.
10:48
Speaker 2: Putting it in the group chat.
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Speaker 1: I know that they've been friends for longer than Charlotte
10:51
Speaker 1: than I have, but this just made it evident that
10:54
Speaker 1: this was not an equally weighted trio. She then had
10:57
Speaker 1: a single ticket so I could go on the same night,
11:00
Speaker 1: just I wasn't sitting with them. They had also coordinated
11:03
Speaker 1: their outfits and made plans to go back to Charlotte afterwards,
11:06
Speaker 1: two conversations of which I wasn't included in.
11:10
Speaker 2: In this studio.
11:11
Speaker 1: I feel like it's like a pair with an extension.
11:14
Speaker 1: I know that if anything bad happened between me and
11:16
Speaker 1: one of them, no one would have my back, and
11:18
Speaker 1: they would have each other's. They've known each other since seven,
11:22
Speaker 1: whereas I became friends with.
11:24
Speaker 2: She's put her real name again. Can we please the name?
11:43
Speaker 2: I don't mean to lie. We would fucking do the
11:49
Speaker 2: exact same thing, because you know what I would do.
11:51
Speaker 2: I would be typing this out and I would be
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Speaker 2: rallying myself the up and then I would.
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Speaker 1: Just be writing it, Oh my god, and I wouldn't
12:01
Speaker 1: even realize. And I just want you to know that
12:04
Speaker 1: this is a fucking cone of silence and we will.
12:07
Speaker 2: Never ever say the names, and we've bleep them fucking funny.
12:12
Speaker 2: I love it, Okay, I'm literally crying. Okay.
12:23
Speaker 1: I feel like I am more emotionally mature than them,
12:25
Speaker 1: and feel that both girls don't always act their age
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Speaker 1: in terms of the way they react in situations. Although
12:31
Speaker 1: Olivia has had a lot of personal shit happen, I
12:34
Speaker 1: feel like the way she talks to me sometimes is
12:36
Speaker 1: not okay, swearing at me overtext about things that are
12:40
Speaker 1: my fault, etc. And she often has a negative energy,
12:43
Speaker 1: even after apparently having a good time at the concept
12:46
Speaker 1: we all wanted to go to. She's not someone that
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Speaker 1: I wanted in my life, as I want positive people
12:52
Speaker 1: who have good vibes and want to lift me up.
12:55
Speaker 1: In the twenty four hours before the concept, both Charlotte
12:58
Speaker 1: and Olivia were short with me overtext when I hardly
13:00
Speaker 1: said anything, I was actually looking forward to not being
13:03
Speaker 1: with them. Interestingly enough, I had the most amazing experience
13:07
Speaker 1: getting to know other fans of the performer and had
13:10
Speaker 1: the best time becoming friends with the girls next to
13:12
Speaker 1: me that I had never even met before.
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Speaker 2: Ah. This is my that's really cute. This is my dilemma.
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Speaker 2: What do I do?
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Speaker 1: I want to distance myself from Olivia, but does that
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Speaker 1: make me a bad friend, especially at a time of
13:25
Speaker 1: crisis for her? She has a lot of trauma and
13:28
Speaker 1: unnecessary drama, which is too much for me to deal with,
13:30
Speaker 1: especially as I have my own mental health issues and
13:33
Speaker 1: have my own struggles. However, if I do that, I
13:36
Speaker 1: run the risk of losing Charlotte, and I don't want
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Speaker 1: to lose her as a friend. All I've ever wanted
13:41
Speaker 1: is a friend I can call my best friend, which
13:43
Speaker 1: I finally have.
13:44
Speaker 2: But I don't want to blow it. I'm a bit stuck.
13:47
Speaker 1: Thanks, girls, I had so much fun at Your Life
13:49
Speaker 1: show and just wanted to thank you for being a
13:50
Speaker 1: positive influence on me. Ah, I love you and thank
13:55
Speaker 1: you for giving us a little giggle, even though this
13:58
Speaker 1: situation is not funny.
14:01
Speaker 2: It's not funny, though, is it? It's serious.
14:04
Speaker 1: Yes, so many layers that Okay, first thing that like
14:07
Speaker 1: stowed out to me is that your friend should never
14:09
Speaker 1: be swearing at you or like yelling at you overtext
14:14
Speaker 1: or in person or anything like that. And I know
14:18
Speaker 1: that Olivia slash Bit is going through something at the moment,
14:23
Speaker 1: but that doesn't.
14:23
Speaker 2: Make that behavior. Okay. I just want to give you
14:26
Speaker 2: a hug.
14:28
Speaker 1: I know how she feels like, I know exactly how
14:32
Speaker 1: she feels in terms of like I just want a
14:34
Speaker 1: best friend. Yeah, And I want to make you feel
14:37
Speaker 1: better if you are listening to this and anyone that
14:39
Speaker 1: is listening to this, that that is so normal and
14:44
Speaker 1: so many people feel like that, and they and sometimes
14:48
Speaker 1: you look at it and because I felt exactly the
14:50
Speaker 1: same way is you look at it as in that's
14:53
Speaker 1: reflection of like you and your success. That it's like, oh,
14:57
Speaker 1: I have a best friend, so that means like I'm good.
15:00
Speaker 2: And I'm a good person.
15:02
Speaker 1: And if I don't have that, does that make me
15:05
Speaker 1: a failure or a loser or anything along the lines.
15:08
Speaker 2: And I just want to say that a lot of people.
15:10
Speaker 1: I know this is easy for maybe me to say
15:13
Speaker 1: while I sit here with you as my best friend.
15:16
Speaker 2: But a lot of people don't have a best friend.
15:19
Speaker 1: A lot of people do not have like one person
15:21
Speaker 1: that is like they're right or die, or like they're
15:24
Speaker 1: honey for life, or like whatever.
15:26
Speaker 2: It is, like they.
15:27
Speaker 1: Don't have that, and that's okay, it's not you don't
15:30
Speaker 1: have to have a best friend. And sometimes when we
15:33
Speaker 1: have that mindset, we end up putting up with relationships
15:38
Speaker 1: that aren't necessarily healthy, whether it's romantic or platonic, just
15:42
Speaker 1: because we simply want a best friend or because we
15:45
Speaker 1: want a partner that will allow people to treat us
15:48
Speaker 1: in a way that isn't necessarily up to scratch or
15:51
Speaker 1: up to standard. Because I'm gonna be so honest, I
15:54
Speaker 1: don't think Charlotte's really acting like a best friend right now.
15:58
Speaker 1: I think, like from the examples you've given us, like
16:01
Speaker 1: they do kind of exclude you a little bit. And yeah,
16:04
Speaker 1: friends are going to hang out one on one sometimes
16:06
Speaker 1: that's really important, but I don't know, I think even
16:11
Speaker 1: just the not including you and how you're all coordinating
16:15
Speaker 1: your outfits or going in together or going home together, Yeah,
16:20
Speaker 1: it just doesn't that's not how it should feel.
16:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think that even if you have a
16:26
Speaker 3: best friend, and then as a best friend duo, you
16:29
Speaker 3: have a mutual friend. Like that doesn't always mean that
16:33
Speaker 3: the two best friends are going to be excluding yeah,
16:35
Speaker 3: the other person who perhaps they've known for less time
16:39
Speaker 3: or whatever. Because I know that, you know, we're obviously
16:41
Speaker 3: a dynamic duo in our friendship, but we have other
16:44
Speaker 3: friends who, you know, a concert will be coming up
16:47
Speaker 3: and we're like, they love this band too, Let's invite
16:49
Speaker 3: them and go as a trio.
16:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't think that.
16:53
Speaker 3: It just seems very high schoolish, like she was saying, like,
16:56
Speaker 3: I don't know how old these people are, but it
16:58
Speaker 3: doesn't sound like they're acting their age. It sounds like
17:00
Speaker 3: they're behaving like teenage girls. Yeah, and I know that
17:05
Speaker 3: you've said like you want to be there for Olivia
17:08
Speaker 3: while she's going through a hard time, But is she
17:11
Speaker 3: even leaning on you for that?
17:13
Speaker 2: Like, is she leaning on you or using you as
17:15
Speaker 2: a punching bag?
17:16
Speaker 3: That's what I'm mean, Like is she even getting anything
17:19
Speaker 3: positive from you? Because it sounds like she's bringing negative
17:22
Speaker 3: energy all the time. So I think maybe you're putting
17:26
Speaker 3: yourself out there and either she's like taking advantage of
17:29
Speaker 3: it or like she's not even benefiting it from it,
17:32
Speaker 3: because it's not she's not like you fel like that.
17:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, that even just reading that made me feel like
17:37
Speaker 1: yucky in the tummy.
17:38
Speaker 2: Yeah.
17:39
Speaker 1: So even just the fact that you were able to
17:41
Speaker 1: go to that concert and have a really really good
17:44
Speaker 1: time with people that you had just met, like shows
17:47
Speaker 1: you how much more opportunity that is out there for you.
17:52
Speaker 1: That maybe it is time to prioritize some other friendships.
17:55
Speaker 1: And you can still prioritize your friendship with Charlotte, but
17:58
Speaker 1: maybe send a couple message saying that you want to
18:00
Speaker 1: hang out one on one and if she doesn't want
18:03
Speaker 1: to do that, that person is not your best friend. Yeah, Like,
18:07
Speaker 1: and that's a fucking tough as shit peel to swallow.
18:10
Speaker 1: And I know that will suck if that does happen,
18:13
Speaker 1: but I'm really hoping that it doesn't, yeah, and that
18:15
Speaker 1: this person will be there for you.
18:17
Speaker 2: Yeah.
18:17
Speaker 3: And I think sometimes space in relationships can really help
18:23
Speaker 3: as well. And maybe you could still maintain friendships with
18:26
Speaker 3: these two people, but maybe it would be less intense
18:31
Speaker 3: and you could have some more fruitful friendships with some
18:34
Speaker 3: other people instead.
18:36
Speaker 1: Hay chicks need some advice currently at a career crossroads.
18:40
Speaker 1: I work in a male dominated industry and truly do
18:42
Speaker 1: love what I do. However, in my experience, it has
18:45
Speaker 1: been really challenging to make progress in this industry. I
18:49
Speaker 1: have had many years of setbacks and many occasions of
18:52
Speaker 1: being overlooked purely because.
18:53
Speaker 2: I am a young female.
18:55
Speaker 1: But I continue to use this as my motivation to
18:58
Speaker 1: keep working hard and I remain focused on myself. Everything
19:01
Speaker 1: started to change around two years ago when I finally
19:04
Speaker 1: got given the chance to try my hand at a
19:06
Speaker 1: middle management role. Obviously, I took that opportunity with both hands.
19:11
Speaker 1: I was working for the most prestigious company in the
19:13
Speaker 1: industry and everything was going really well. I was learning
19:16
Speaker 1: so many skills and all the feedback from my line
19:19
Speaker 1: managers was positive. I felt like I was finally getting
19:22
Speaker 1: to where I wanted to be in my career. When
19:24
Speaker 1: suddenly I lost my job as part of a company
19:27
Speaker 1: wide restructure and I was made redundant. I took some
19:31
Speaker 1: time off to regroup and get my head together, as
19:34
Speaker 1: I was really cut up about it.
19:36
Speaker 2: Emotionally.
19:37
Speaker 1: I felt like I was back at square one.
19:39
Speaker 2: I felt like I had failed.
19:41
Speaker 1: Now that the tidal wave of emotions has passed. I've
19:44
Speaker 1: been giving another opportunity to try to do the same
19:47
Speaker 1: role at a smaller firm within the same industry. Everything
19:51
Speaker 1: about this opportunity sounds good on paper, and the company
19:54
Speaker 1: itself has a great reputation. But I am so scared
19:57
Speaker 1: that something out of my control will happen again and
19:59
Speaker 1: it will end badly. I don't want my reputation in
20:02
Speaker 1: the industry to be damaged if it goes bad on
20:04
Speaker 1: my second attempt a management role, and I can't seem
20:08
Speaker 1: to get the seeds of self doubt out of my head.
20:11
Speaker 1: This whole situation has really taken the wind out of
20:13
Speaker 1: my sales, and I now have almost no confidence.
20:16
Speaker 2: What would your advice be.
20:18
Speaker 1: Should I put on my big girl pants and just
20:20
Speaker 1: go for it and see what happens? Or should I
20:22
Speaker 1: leave it and take a career break or try my
20:24
Speaker 1: hand in a different role with lesser responsibility.
20:27
Speaker 2: Thank you.
20:29
Speaker 1: Every time we do is I just want to like
20:30
Speaker 1: crawl through the phone, give everyone the big fucking hug.
20:34
Speaker 3: Get the big girl pants on, Put them pants on. Girl.
20:37
Speaker 3: You were given this opportunity in your previous role because
20:40
Speaker 3: you're clearly very good at what you do. Unfortunately, redundancies
20:46
Speaker 3: are a common occurrence throughout most people's career, no matter
20:50
Speaker 3: what industry you're in. I think, especially these days post COVID. Yeah,
20:54
Speaker 3: a lot of businesses have been hit hard in so
20:56
Speaker 3: many different ways and across so many industries we've seenancies,
21:01
Speaker 3: And a lot of the time redundancies aren't a reflection
21:04
Speaker 3: of the individuals exactly who are being made redundant.
21:08
Speaker 1: It's like a company thing in terms of how to
21:11
Speaker 1: cut costs, exactly what you're saying.
21:13
Speaker 2: It's not a reflection of you individually.
21:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a company's decision, yeah, company wide.
21:21
Speaker 3: And a lot of the time people in management positions
21:25
Speaker 3: get made redundant because they have higher salary packages than
21:29
Speaker 3: other people. So if it's a cost cutting exercise, then they.
21:34
Speaker 2: Will do that.
21:36
Speaker 3: So it isn't necessarily a reflection of you. And it
21:38
Speaker 3: sounds like you were doing an amazing job. So don't
21:42
Speaker 3: let this experience hold you back because you can't predict
21:46
Speaker 3: whether or not you're going to go through a similar
21:48
Speaker 3: experience in the future. But if you do and that
21:51
Speaker 3: does happen again, you'll know I've been through this once before.
21:55
Speaker 3: I survived it then and I can survive it again.
21:59
Speaker 3: I think that definitely go for it.
22:03
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be given this opportunity if you weren't capable
22:07
Speaker 1: of it. I think it's so fair enough for people
22:10
Speaker 1: to get nervous about new jobs or to have imposter
22:13
Speaker 1: syndrome in those moments, because it's incredibly valid, Like you
22:16
Speaker 1: are going to have self doubt, but there would be
22:19
Speaker 1: nothing on your plate that you can't handle.
22:21
Speaker 2: You have this opportunity because these people believed that you
22:25
Speaker 2: can do it and you were the right person for it.
22:27
Speaker 1: So if they believe in you, that should give you
22:29
Speaker 1: at least a little bit of wind to put back
22:31
Speaker 1: in your sales and then just take off and it'll
22:35
Speaker 1: come with time. Like, I completely understand why your confidence
22:39
Speaker 1: has taken a bit of a knock, but you can
22:41
Speaker 1: knock it back into place too.
22:43
Speaker 3: Confidence ebbs and flows. Fully, it isn't something that continues
22:47
Speaker 3: to just like grow on a trajectory throughout your life.
22:50
Speaker 2: Oh you know, gone it afterwards?
22:52
Speaker 3: Scale Like, yeah, it often ebbs and flows. It's totally natural.
22:55
Speaker 3: You also have fought so hard to be in this
22:59
Speaker 3: male dominator industry and get where you are. It sounds
23:02
Speaker 3: like you're really passionate and good at what you do.
23:06
Speaker 2: I don't think that you'd have to.
23:07
Speaker 3: Move into a different industry to try something new because
23:11
Speaker 3: you have been made redundant once. If you'd lost your
23:14
Speaker 3: passion for this industry and that was no longer motivating you,
23:18
Speaker 3: then definitely look at switching lanes and do something that's
23:21
Speaker 3: gonna inspire you and make you feel more confident. But
23:24
Speaker 3: it doesn't sound like that. It sounds like you're a
23:27
Speaker 3: bit scared, which is totally fair enough. I would be
23:30
Speaker 3: scared to but remind yourself that you were good at
23:33
Speaker 3: what you do. You fought really hard to be where
23:36
Speaker 3: you are, and go for it.
23:37
Speaker 1: What's the worst that can happen? Truly identify the worst
23:40
Speaker 1: thing that could happen is the same thing, and you already,
23:44
Speaker 1: as su said, made it through that that's.
23:46
Speaker 2: The best thing. Is like what if? Looking splipping a
23:49
Speaker 2: what if.
23:50
Speaker 1: Into a positive rather than a negative, because it is
23:53
Speaker 1: really really easy to be like, fuck, what if I
23:55
Speaker 1: get made redundant again? What if I'm not good at it?
23:57
Speaker 1: What if I'm not this? But it's like what if
23:59
Speaker 1: you fucking sle what if you get promoted to a
24:02
Speaker 1: CEO and board member?
24:04
Speaker 2: Yeah? With high heaps of other chicks. Yeah.
24:09
Speaker 1: Oh okay, hey chicks, I want your opinion on something
24:13
Speaker 1: because I'm not sure if I'm the asshole.
24:15
Speaker 2: Ohjucy.
24:16
Speaker 1: About a year ago, I broke up with my ex
24:18
Speaker 1: just because I wasn't having the same feelings.
24:22
Speaker 2: Fun fact.
24:22
Speaker 1: He actually broke up with me over Snapchat the night
24:25
Speaker 1: before I was going to break up with him, because
24:27
Speaker 1: someone spread word without my permission that I was going
24:30
Speaker 1: to break up with him first.
24:32
Speaker 2: Anyway, news got out.
24:33
Speaker 1: That I did, and my mom was trying to make
24:35
Speaker 1: me feel better by saying she would chuck out a
24:37
Speaker 1: guitar case he gave me for my guitar that needed
24:40
Speaker 1: to be fixed. Another fun fact, my mom doesn't choke,
24:44
Speaker 1: So two days later, this guitar case was at Vinnie's,
24:47
Speaker 1: which I didn't refuse.
24:48
Speaker 2: I let her do it. I was very mad at
24:50
Speaker 2: the time. I'm just a girl.
24:52
Speaker 1: I didn't think anything of it after so when I
24:54
Speaker 1: told a group of my friends a few weeks later,
24:56
Speaker 1: they turned around and told my ex what happened. He
25:00
Speaker 1: then started telling me to give it back to him
25:02
Speaker 1: and started threatening me. He then started bad mouthing me
25:06
Speaker 1: to everyone we knew and told me, I was a
25:08
Speaker 1: shit person. Was I a dick for getting rid of it?
25:11
Speaker 1: Or were my actions valid?
25:15
Speaker 2: No? You give someone a gift, hy.
25:18
Speaker 1: Tell it to Vinnie's and that's a sustainable practice.
25:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, And you donated it to Vinnie's for somebody else
25:26
Speaker 3: to have. It's not like you he left a bunch
25:28
Speaker 3: of stuff at your house and you burned it or
25:31
Speaker 3: you know, threw it in the bin.
25:33
Speaker 2: Yeah.
25:33
Speaker 3: Like when you give somebody a gift, that is then
25:37
Speaker 3: theirs to do with it what they will.
25:39
Speaker 6: Yeah.
25:39
Speaker 3: I think if he asked for it back and then
25:41
Speaker 3: you gave it to Vinie's, that would be spiteful. But
25:46
Speaker 3: it's not like you had any sort of exchange before this.
25:48
Speaker 3: And didn't she say it was you?
25:50
Speaker 1: Well, well it was a bad breakup and when they
25:54
Speaker 1: broke up over snapchat and it just sounds like it
25:57
Speaker 1: was messy. Yeah, Because what I was going to say
25:59
Speaker 1: is you could be like, I don't want this, do
26:02
Speaker 1: you want it back? But obviously when you've gone through
26:05
Speaker 1: a messy breakup like that's not necessarily for like your brains,
26:10
Speaker 1: yea through like people throw rings into the ocean and shit,
26:16
Speaker 1: you know exactly, Yeah they do.
26:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's like, I don't know. Can't you just
26:24
Speaker 2: go to videos?
26:25
Speaker 1: Yeah?
26:26
Speaker 3: And also I think that.
26:28
Speaker 6: I don't think the reaction meets the the crime, as
26:34
Speaker 6: if you were to say, like, sure, he gave you
26:37
Speaker 6: something and you're like, I don't want this anymore because
26:40
Speaker 6: you were mad. But it's the it's the bad mouthing
26:42
Speaker 6: and ship after Also the friends going and telling him, that's.
26:45
Speaker 3: The real crime in my book, because who told him
26:51
Speaker 3: that you were going to break up with him? And
26:54
Speaker 3: then who told him that you gave away his guitar?
26:58
Speaker 2: Case? They give away their guitar. There's a mole in
27:01
Speaker 2: the group, Yes.
27:03
Speaker 4: Who is?
27:04
Speaker 2: Do you know what you should do?
27:05
Speaker 1: You should tell every single person a different story. You
27:09
Speaker 1: should be like, yeah, I gave away this ring he
27:13
Speaker 1: gave me, And then to another friend you'd be like,
27:14
Speaker 1: I gave away this photo that he gave me. And
27:17
Speaker 1: then you tell them all a different thing and then
27:20
Speaker 1: you find out which lands with him, and then you
27:24
Speaker 1: know who's the mole.
27:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you know who's the snitch.
27:27
Speaker 1: I get people have like mutual friends, but like you
27:31
Speaker 1: need to have friends that aren't gonna fucking snitch to
27:34
Speaker 1: your X.
27:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, and over something that's not even bad, Like I
27:40
Speaker 3: just yeah.
27:41
Speaker 1: I think he's more I think he's probably just more
27:43
Speaker 1: heard about the breakup.
27:44
Speaker 2: I didn't think you're an asshole for giving it to Phinney's.
27:46
Speaker 3: No, you were passing it forward on something that you
27:49
Speaker 3: no longer wanted to probably really.
27:51
Speaker 2: Like that guitar case.
27:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not gonna lie into is. That's gonna be
27:55
Speaker 1: really funny story. Yeah, you're probably gonna if you have kids,
28:00
Speaker 1: you'll probably tell your kids that story.
28:02
Speaker 2: And like, so you didn't even do it, your mom did. Yeah,
28:05
Speaker 2: blame it on your mom, And.
28:07
Speaker 3: Sounds like she was trying to look out for you,
28:09
Speaker 3: Like just ridgi you of any reminder or negative energy
28:12
Speaker 3: of that relationship that's no longer serving you.
28:14
Speaker 2: So good for you, mum.
28:15
Speaker 1: Who breaks up with someone over snapchat.
28:18
Speaker 2: We're so for this.
28:23
Speaker 3: Thanks to all the chicks who sent in their dilemmas
28:26
Speaker 3: and submissions, we absolutely love to read them out, and
28:29
Speaker 3: if you have a dilemma that you want us to
28:31
Speaker 3: answer on the show, we'll put the details of the
28:34
Speaker 3: chicks hotline in the show notes so that you can
28:37
Speaker 3: text in or voice note in as well. Please voice
28:41
Speaker 3: note and you know, of course we can keep the
28:44
Speaker 3: details anonymous. Potentially we could put like a filter on
28:47
Speaker 3: the voice or something if you want to hide your
28:49
Speaker 3: identity even more. But we love hearing from.
28:53
Speaker 1: Your chicks, so obviously we're trustworthy because we kept.
28:57
Speaker 2: Names anonymous exactly.
29:02
Speaker 1: All right, chicks, thank you so much for listening. We
29:06
Speaker 1: absolutely love to be here. Big smooches, big kisses, and
29:11
Speaker 1: thanks to m I k Maide for making this episode.
29:13
Speaker 1: Two bro chicks happened.
29:15
Speaker 2: Love to be here, Love to be Here,