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Why do narcissists want to make you feel bad? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about why narcissists want to
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  make you feel so bad about yourself.
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  Why do they set out to make you feel to To lower yourself esteem
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  if you're new here? My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes, yes, yes. So why in the hell why on earth?
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  Why on earth do narcissists want to make you feel bad about
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  yourself? Is it?
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  Is it on purpose? Like, do they do it on purpose?
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  Like, is that what they set off to do from the beginning?
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  Like, is that is that their goal from the beginning, to make you
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  feel horrible about yourself? Is it like, you know, what can I
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  do right here? What?
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  You know what? What can I do to hurt this
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  person? What can I do to set you back
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  right here? What can I do to put you down?
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  Like, why do they do it? Why?
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  Why? Why?
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  Why? Why?
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  Why? You know so one of the main
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  reasons behind this behaviour, One of the main reasons behind
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  this thought process is that they feel bad about themselves.
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  Let's just keep it high. They feel horrible about
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  themselves. Like narcissists walk.
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  A lot of narcissists walk around with extremely low self esteem,
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  Self esteem, right? Extremely low self esteem, like
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  the self esteem is horrible in these spaces.
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  The self esteem is it's so low it's crazy, right?
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  So they feel so bad about bad about themselves that they tend
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  to project outwardly how they feel about themselves inwardly.
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  Like if they are feeling bad about themselves internally,
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  they will treat other people bad externally.
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  That's the that's the process behind it right there.
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  Y'all that's the thought process behind.
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  It's like, I feel so bad about myself.
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  I hate how I look. I hate how I feel.
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  I hate how I think, like, this is hurting me so bad to the
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  point where I need to like I'm hurting so bad internally that I
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  need to make you feel bad. I need to bring you down a
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  notch. So they do it to kind of like
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  equal out like if they feel bad about themselves, right, The
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  they feel bad about themselves so they won't.
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  And you feel like you walking around happy go lucky they have
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  to bring you down a pig. Like how dare, how dare you walk
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  around with a smile on your damn face when I'm around here
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  feeling terrible about myself. How dare you?
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  And yes, I know how dumb it sounds when I say that.
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  How dare you do this to me and say this to me?
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  How dare you? That's the mindset right there.
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  Y'all. That's how a lot of narcissists
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  feel. That's absolutely how they feel
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  right there. They feel like they feel bad,
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  like themselves. So I so I need to bring you down
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  a tad. I need to make you feel bad
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  about yourself because it empowers me, Because if if I
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  feel like you're above me in some way, I bring you down.
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  Guess what? I feel better.
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  Even though I haven't done anything to myself.
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  Even though I haven't changed myself.
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  Even though I haven't worked on my low self esteem of my deep,
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  my deep into my deep Seated Insecurities.
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  Even though I haven't done anything like that.
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  Right. There's nothing that I've done
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  to work on myself, right? I feel better about myself
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  because I pulled you down. It's like I say the the more I
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  pull you down, the less work I have to do on myself.
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  The more that narcissist hurts you and makes you feel bad about
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  yourself, the less work they have to do to feel bad about
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  themselves. Because guess what?
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  At least there's somebody out there that feels worse than I
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  do. At least there's out there.
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  Somebody out there that, that's hurting more than I'm hurting.
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  Yeah, some of them. And yes, yes, I'll be realistic.
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  Yes, some of it is absolutely intentional.
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  Some of them are out here to set out to hurt you from the
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  beginning. Yes, they do bully.
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  That sucks. How did they, how did they think
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  so bad? Like how can somebody hurt you
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  so badly? And then it is y'all.
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  It has way less to do with you than you think.
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  It really is an internal battle that they're having.
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  And I'm not. Look, and I'm not saying this to
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  make you feel bad for them because some people will feel
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  bad for some people will feel bad for the narcissist.
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  When I say this right? Some people will absolutely
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  start to feel bad for the narcissist in their life.
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  It was like, well, leave. Why can't they just do that?
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  Like y'all, It has way less to do with you than you think.
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  They themselves are hurting internally, so they want to
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  extend that pain. It's damn near you know how some
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  people drink? Not all narcissists drink and
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  have problems with alcoholism or drugs, right?
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  But you know how some of them do.
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  And the reason behind the reason, the reason behind why
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  some of them do, it is because it becomes a form of escapism,
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  right? This is a form of escapism for
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  them. So it allows them to escape
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  their the way that they feel about themselves for a little
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  while. To hammer you, to badger you, to
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  hammer you down, to make you feel bad about yourself.
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  It really is y'all it really is becomes a form of escapism.
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  Let me What can I do to make myself feel better about myself?
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  Oh, let me try to hurt her. Oh, let me emasculate him.
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  You see, you see right there. And that's why I tell people
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  y'all try. I know it's easier said than
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  done because I say when I tell people, try not to take it
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  personally, they're like Lee high in the hell am I not going
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  to take a personal attack personally?
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  What sense did that make? Lee?
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  You don't make any damn sense. I used to have so much respect
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  for you, Lee. I lost all respect.
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  It's yeah, if you view it, if you view it in the mindset that
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  I'm trying to come to commit, communicate it to you as like
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  it's not really a personal attack on you.
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  It really is an attack on themselves because they are
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  hurting. Yes, they say mean things that
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  are directed towards you, they say bad things that are meant to
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  pull you down, but it's it's because they are attacking
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  themselves and it makes them feel better to get it out of
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  them. It makes me feel better to lash
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  out. Pardon the Interruption, Just
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  want to let you know that I do have courses and support groups
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  available as well. Courses to help you understand
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  what you went through, and support groups to help you
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  during or after the toxic relationship.
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  Link in the description and back to the video.
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  It does. So it's not really a personal
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  attack on you. It really is a personal attack
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  on themselves if you think about from that perspective right
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  there. So that's why I say try not to
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  take it personally because it's not your fault.
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  How the hell, how the hell is it your fault that you are more
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  attractive person than they are? How the hell is it your fault
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  that you decided to go out and get more education than they do?
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  How the hell is it your fault that you might have been born
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  taller than they are? Or you know, you might have hit
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  the genetic, the genetic lottery.
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  How the hell is that your fault? You know, it's not like you were
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  up there, you know, up there with God picking.
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  It's not like you were up there with God picking out your your
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  characteristics or whatever. Hey, God, give me God.
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  Make me what you got to give me 5.
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  Two. No.
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  God, no. No, no, no.
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  Change that 52662 or 52150. No, no, 62250.
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  Thank you, God. Let me, let me go be.
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  Let me go be born now. No, you're not.
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  You're not a You're not having a conversation with the Lord
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  picking. I know it sounds stupid.
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  You're not having a conversation with the Lord picking up your
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  attributes. You're not.
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  You're not doing that, are you? So it's not your fault.
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  And I know it's easier said than done.
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  I know it doesn't make a lot of sense when I try to communicate
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  it to you, but take a deep breath.
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  What? What?
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  Like think about this right here.
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  This exercise right here is not meant to try to retrigger you.
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  It's to make you think. What is the last personal
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  attack? Personal Remember personal
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  quotation marks. What is the last personal attack
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  that they launched on you seemingly out of nowhere?
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  What's the last personal attack that they launched on you from
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  out of nowhere? Like, what's the last argument?
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  They started to belittle you or to make you feel bad about
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  yourself? What's the last argument about?
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  Think about what it was about when you figure out what is,
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  when you think about when you get to the point where you're
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  just like, OK, this, it was about this.
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  Now ask yourself, is that really about you?
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  Or could that what they said about you?
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  If you flip it around, could it also apply to them?
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  You're so you're super, you're so insecure, your insecurity is
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  going to kill our relationship. Is it because they themselves
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  are insecure? You know, it's because they are
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  hurting. It's because they don't like
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  themselves. It's because they you think
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  you're so damn smart because you got an extra.
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  You you got a bachelor's degree. I only, I only have an
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  associate's. Well, guess what?
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  I make more money than you do with my associate's degree.
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  So your degree was a waste of time.
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  So could that be an attack on themselves?
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  They want to make you feel bad about themselves because it
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  helps them feel better about themselves.
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  That's why sometimes y'all and This is why you can tell how
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  Lee, how can you? Well, Lee, how do you know that
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  they feel bad about themselves? First of all, I'm a narcissist.
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  I've done this this I've done this behavior before, but also
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  Duper's Delight. You know that little, that
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  little crazy ass smirk that they get on their faces.
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  That's why. How you the the little bit of
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  happiness that slides across their face like the Joker.
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  You know you want to know how I got this, This.
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  You want to know how I got this Smirk, my mother.
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  You know what I mean? They smirk when they're hurting
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  you. They smirk when you were having
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  a big reaction to something that they're doing or something that
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  they've said. That's how you can tell they
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  have this little delight and they can't control you.
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  It's it's damn near uncontrollable.
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  It's a micro expression. It's like it's like it slides
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  across their face like this, the damn micro expression.
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  So think about that right there as well.
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  That's one of the things you want to think about and consider
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  as well. When you're going through this,
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  when you're trying to battle with this, when you're trying to
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  heal and you're trying to grow, that's one thing that you can
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  think about as well. So that's why I tell everybody
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  in these spaces, when they are personally, when they are
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  launching personal attacks about you, is it really about you or
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  could that what could what they say?
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  Could what they have said? Could that also apply to them in
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  some way, shape or form? Think about it from that angle.
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  I'm trying to help you out heal through these situations right
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  here because I know personally that a lot of the stuff that
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  they say to you is not about you because I have a personality,
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  You know, I have the personality disorder.
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  I really do, you know, I have this personality disorder.
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  This is how my mind works. So this is what I'm just telling
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  y'all narcissistic people really, really don't.
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  They don't like themselves. So in so I need to make you feel
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  bad about yourself to make me feel better about myself.
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  Like even when they move, even when they leave the relationship
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  there with the end with you right now their goal is to is to
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  hurt you a lot of times. They want you to see them love
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  bombing the new supply. They want you to do that right
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  there. They want to make you feel bad
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  about yourself because again they feel better about
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  themselves a lot of the times. So I hope this video but you
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  some clarity. I hope it help you heal.
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  I hope it but you some peace. Check out my support groups, the
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  mental healers, weekly Zoom meetings and whatnot.
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  We have already done two meetings this week over.
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  Zoom Link is in the description of every video and podcast that
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  I do like describe to this channel.
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  Until this is out, please thank you so much for making it to the
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  end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
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  have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel, help us reach
• 11:46
  more people and click on the screen to watch another video or
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  to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 11:53
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.