Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Aida Rodriguez Talks New Memoir, Upbringing, Transforming Trauma Into Comedy + More

Transcript

INTERVIEW: Aida Rodriguez Talks New Memoir, Upbringing, Transforming Trauma Into Comedy + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Breakfast Club morning, everybody is Steve j n V. Charlamagne
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: the Guy, just hilarious. We are the Breakfast Club and
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: we got a special guest in the building. Yes, indeed
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: we have Rodriguez.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Think I think I am the Latin person what we
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: call now Latin a Latin X next right, I think
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: I think I think I'm the Latin person that's been
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: on the show the most, like my seventh time Dominican.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I know here on the weekend Weekend Dominican.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I think you're fat.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Joe, and I mean fat Joe is Joey crack.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: You're never not working new book? Legitimate kid, you know what?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: I was laughing because she said that books are the
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: new this record. Yes, yeah, and it is because I'm
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: just in my mama.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: And daddy in this Jesus right, Jesus.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: I'm holding them accountable, but I'm not never this my mam,
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: mom as my queen.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Why do you call it legitimate kid?
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Because kids in the in the hood are evil. And
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: when I was little, a kid told me I was
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: a bastard because I didn't have my father's last name. Jesus,
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: and I found out what it meant, and then I
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: was I felt less than and so I went on
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: a journey to find my legitimacy. And I want all
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: the little kids that grow up in the hood that
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: hear this. Your daddy didn't sign your birth certificate. That
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: doesn't make you legitimate. That that term comes from prostitution.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: It has nothing to do with legitimacy, I mean with
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: with parental presence in your life. It yeah, that came
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: being a legitimate came from them saying children that were
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: born to prostitutes were not legitimate. But then they weaponized
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: that against people of color, poor people, And so I
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: wanted to find out more about myself because that affected
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: the way I dealt with men, you know, my life
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: as a mom and all that stuff, And so I
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: wanted to I want everybody who reads that book to
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: know that they are legitimate.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Now we said something back to the boy or what
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: was what was the joke? Back to the boy? You
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: had something for nah?
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: You know you know my joke. I was when I
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: was a kid. I was meek when I was little.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: This didn't happen til like this was in elementary. I
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: didn't get gully till middle school started. You know, peeping
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: the pro wings. You're too young to know what that is. Okay,
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: nikkers from pay less that the poor people used to.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: It was cool.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was cool when you now when we was kids,
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: that was food stamps.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: You probably had them swagged out there.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I did the flailix. Somebody could see that they
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: was play less year just a tip. You can see
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: the tips sticking out.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: But now talk about the journey of finding your dad
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: and finding your history.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: So you know what my I went to the Dominican Republic.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: I did the documentary that's on HBO and my father.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: You know, when I met my father, my father asked
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: me for money, and it was the first question. It
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: was not the first question, but it was probably like
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: the fourth. And it was very painful because I was
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: I just met him and and you know, I was
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: really upset with him. I dissed them on stage. It
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: was really you know, he was he was d l
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: I was Monique, and it was I went in and
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: then I decided to uh to really explore what that meant.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: And my father lives in the Dominican Republic. He's been
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: poor his whole life, and you know, I was looking
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: at it from my perspective. I wanted I don't want
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: to hate him. I just didn't want to. I wanted
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: to find love in my heart for him. So I
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: sat down and started exploring all of this stuff, and
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: I was like, yo, he is poor. His child came
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: from America.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: The first, you know, fourth question you want to know
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: about your daughter?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: The first three questions? First, what was the first thing? Questions?
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: You know. The first thing he asked me, he asked
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: me about my mom. He asked me how my mom
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: was doing. He cried, you know, he asked me about how,
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: you know, how things were going for me. You know,
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: he asked me about me. But it was just I
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: was getting ready to leave because I was only there
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: for two days, and he gave me a hug and
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: then he whispered in my ear, I'm gonna need you
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: to give me some money. And I was devastated. I left.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: I didn't talk to him for a minute. And you know,
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: they had they had mics on me because we were
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: recording a documentary. We were in production, and so all
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: those people heard it and they were like, oh, they
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: felt bad for me.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Did you give money? I did?
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: Why did I know I'm.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: Not going to say that, but you know, I just
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: I was paying him to go away at that moment.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm just because I know he's struggling.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: But I was like, this is it. This is the
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: cheapest amount of money that I'm gonna give away. And
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: then I had to go through some work, some in work.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Did you learn any because did you learn to give
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: grace to your parents or just realizing they were just human?
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Yes, my mom absolutely. You know who knows what my
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: daughter and my son are gonna say about me when
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: they get you know what I mean, like we all
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: think we got it right. You think that because you're
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: not your parents and you're you're not struggling like your
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: parents were, that they had the best shoes. You never
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: know what the kids are going to say, and so
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: I just I learned to My mom had her first
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: kid when she was fourteen, and I didn't know that.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: I found out when I was writing the book, and
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: that baby died and the father of the baby died
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: playing Russian roulette. So that was all before I was
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: even born. She was a kid. So I was like,
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: how I'm gonna sit here and judge my mother, Like,
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: The traumas and stuff she was dealing with. You know,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Born into it and so and it was generational. My
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: grandmother had her first kid when she was thirteen. My
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: mom was sexually abused at home, so she was trying
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: to get out, you know what I mean, I can't
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: do that to her. She's and even still with all
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: of that, she raised four amazing kids, like none of
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: us have ever been in trouble. We're all productive. Who
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: does that, you know what I mean?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: I'd have walked in here and was telling us about
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: an interview she did with Gail King.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she said, girl, you've been through some things, you
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: know what. It's interesting though.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: She read the book.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: And I did an interview a couple of days ago
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: with somebody who didn't read the book. And when I
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: walked in, they were like, girl, your books so funny.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I disrespect people that were like,
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: you know, I didn't read it, so tell me about it.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: But she was like you so, and I was like,
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: it's not that tabe of book.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Who is that? Who is that?
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Well?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: You know what? Ess?
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: And I walked in, Jess and I walked in and
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Charlemagne was looking at the book. And he was very
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: interested in the chapter that said pizza and penis.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that was the one that I went straight.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: To, straight to pizzas because.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: I wanted to know about carlos I heard that was
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: your uncle.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: I wanted to know what was with him.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: We definitely talked about Carlosza.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: But he saw pizza and penis and he didn't even
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: see pizza. He just saw m penis.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: To ask about this, you need to get into.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: You know what's funny, it's Gael Kinge was like that.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: She was like, I enjoyed this chapter. The chapter is
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: about me getting sexually abused, and so it's not.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Ship ahead.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: This is y'all got some good chemistry. It's you know
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: it was it was I was just I want people
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: to be free, like I want people who've been through
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: the stuff I've been through to read this and say
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna be all right. I didn't want, I don't want.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: I don't want to do trauma porn Like it's not
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: just what is me and my life has been bad.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: It's every turn is me turning around and say I'm
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: gonna turn this, I'm gonna flip this into this and
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: this is how those things became jokes.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: You think a comedian can even have material without trauma.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Yes, I think we have a spectrum of comedy and
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: we need Simba was not trauma driven, and we love
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Simbat and undeniably one of the funniest. Shout clean, yeah
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: he's healing. Yeah, clean comedy. I do think. So we
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: need we need, especially people of color. We can't all
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: be the color purple. We need some levity. We need
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: to have comedians who are lighthearted and do jokes about things.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Everybody doesn't have to be deep and you know that's
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: that's pretentious. I think some of us need, we need
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: our We ain't have a Carrot Top. Like Carrot Top
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: is a millionaire in Vegas. We've never had a comedian
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: like that that can just be you know why. We
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: always have to have the burden of walking around being
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: the heaviness.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah and brown, a certain privilege that comes with being
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: a Yeah, but.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: We need one. We need somebody walking around with props.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And ship just you know, Kevin is the closest thing
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: we got the cat Ken show.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: No prepare him to Kevin Hart, because Kevin Hart talks
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: about his experiences as well.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I'm just talking about like man, you got mad.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: He got kicked out of the Kevin Hart Show. You
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: have to tell you that story.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Oh no, I didn't.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Never kicked the dumb ass out because he recorded.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Was not recorded?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Was?
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: But did you get kicked out?
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: I did get kicked out. I was trying to bootleg
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: the show was not It's not true. It was actually
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Philly Kevin. Kevin was performing.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: My phone started to ring, so they tell you in
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: no shows do not pull your phone out. But you know,
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: when you got kids, when your phone ring, you pick
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: it up. So I went to try to pick it up,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: like kind of on the low. But you know what,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: the light is bright. Sure did kick my ass out?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Good?
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Kevin see me getting kicked out too.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: It was like I MBC later. I have no problem
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: with that whatsoever. Wow, Now talk to us about how
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: junkies and prostitutes assisted jama.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: My mom was the person she was dating at the
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: time beat her. She was pregnant and he left her
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: for dead in the park in Central Park. She was
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: not muchs pregnant, and it was the junkies and the
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: prostitutes that were around who took her to the hospital
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: and saved her life. So she's she's my mother is
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: not a respective of persons. She lives. She lives that
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Bible life, like she feeds anybody. She will, she's all,
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: she's she's so wounded, but she will never forget. She
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: does not look down on anybody. And so we were
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: never allowed to do that. We could never be make
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: fun of somebody because you know, whatever it was, she'd
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: be like, not do that. She will always say it
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: was the prostitutes and the junkies, that's what they called them,
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: not the people. She was like, those are the people
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: who saved your brother's life. And so we were raised
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: to just you know, that's how we all are.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Everybody, when this becomes a movie or mini series, it's
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: gonna be a drama y or a horror movie. What
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: the hell?
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Non so dramedy, drama developing a TV show? Now, No,
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: it's gonna be a drama. We gotta laugh at we
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: gotta laugh at it.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: How difficult was it to write this?
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: It was hard as hell.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: How long did it take?
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Because I wrote my own book, there's no ghostwriter. So
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: the thing is it took me two and a half years,
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: but I've been working on that book for seven years.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: But you don't you know, Like you say you're going
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: to write a book, and you think because you got
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: the ideas and you got the stories, but when you
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: start writing them down in that publisher, that editor is like,
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: I need eighty thousand words, it becomes a whole different
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: You're like, damn, I could just tell you. When you
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: write the story down it's two pages. You're like, that's it,
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: I got it. But now you got to go in
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: and you gotta details. And it was. It was one
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: of the hardest things I ever did, one of the
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: greatest lessons for me not to take anything for granted,
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: because you know, authors, these authors have been real snobby
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: towards me, Like even people of color that I've been
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I've reached out to and I've been posting about their
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: books and they all been kind of kind of like,
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: kind of greasy with me. And it's because I'm not
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: I'm a comedian stepping into their world and they're like,
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: here goes another one. They're going to do a book
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: and then they're gonna bounce. And I was like, now
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I've been writing my whole life. My stand up is writing,
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: my TV shows are writing, you know, this book is writing.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: The movies I've written. I'm a real writer, and I
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: don't need y'all validation because y'all go for that. But
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: I understand that. You know, they do this all day long,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: and then celebrities will come in do books, they do
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: the press, and then they out. They're like, that's just
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: one more notch on their belt. They don't really assume
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: the role of author where I could write. I could
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: write books until I die, like I would like to.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: It's a good therapy of bad therapy because you have
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: to relive a lot of the stuff, I'm sure trauma
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: that you have since a kid. So sometimes you like
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: you push it out of your brain so you don't
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: have to think about it. But when you're writing a book,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: you got to dive deep into it. It can't just be
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: like two pages.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Like you said, it was traumatic to relive it, but
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: I needed to do it so I can heal, Like
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: I needed to forgive so I can move on, because
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: you know what, that's the thing about forgiveness. It's for you, right,
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: you think it's for the other person. I ain't forgiven them.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: It's what do they say? You know? Revenge is like
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: drinking poison and hoping the enemy dies. I needed to
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: forgive these people, like all of them, my stepfather, the
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: one who got his ass on the bus stop for
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: being racist, Like I needed to just let it go.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: And I want somebody else to read it and also
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: let it go, Like your life can be so great
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: when you forgive somebody. That doesn't mean you got to
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: hang out with them. You don't have to forget. I
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: choose to forget, but it just it's freedom.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: I'm realizing forgiveness isn't linear though. No, it's not because
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: you got to. You gotta remind yourself of CAF forgave them,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: you know, Yeah.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: You gotta and you gotta accept it. Acceptance is probably
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: one of the hardest things we deal with, people always
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: saying love yourself, love yourself, you can love yourself. Acceptance
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: is where we thrive, right, being able to say I'm
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: okay with the fact that I'm never gonna be a
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: size to again, you know what I mean? Like that
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: that is freedom for me instead of you know, love
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: is beautiful, but love what Tina Turner said, what's love
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: got to do with it? I think acceptance has been
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: the greatest journey for me. And yeah, I forgave them.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: People, what are you writing the book teach you about illegitimacy?
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: You know that illegitimacy and feeling that those feelings of
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: not feeling invalidated are crippling for most people. We all
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: battle with it, whether it's because you dark, dark skin,
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: or you don't speak English, you got you got an accent,
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: you're in a wheelchair, like, we all struggle with it.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: And they can give it a term for every single
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: sector of it, but the truth is that we all
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: battle with it and we cannot give it to somebody
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: else to declare it for us. We cannot. That's my
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: favorite scene that Jerry maguire was when Regina King looked
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Cuba Goodding in the eye and said, we validate our worth.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: And that was that was like the most powerful thing
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I had seen at that age because I was much younger.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: You gotta validate your own worth. In comedy, you know,
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: people are always saying who they think is funny, who
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: is great? Who is you? Cannot anybody else tell you
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: who you are because if you let if you give
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: them the power to feed you, you give them the
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: power to starve you. That validation has to come from
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: with them.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I was gonna ask. You know, one of the producers
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: after reading the book, was like, she has to hate
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: all men, like, damn, they all men did her dirty
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: in this book. So how do you feel about men after,
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm going through the process of a lot
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: of men that did you dirty, a lot of men
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: that would file to you.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: Well, if you read the book, then you would see
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: that I adore my uncles. My uncle Carlos passed away
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: and my uncle Raymond. My uncles raised me. My uncles
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: together they were a transformer. They all got together and
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: they became the father that I needed. And they used
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: to be hustlers, they were on the streets, but they
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: have always been my heroes. I love men so much.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I made a great one. My son is an amazing
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: human being, amazing and I don't hate men, and I
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: hate that the rhetoric, like all of this stuff that
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: goes on on social media with men and women, it
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: is so toxic and unnecessary. It's just divide and conquer.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: It just keeps getting deeper and deeper in terms of
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: what happens with our communities. I uphold man and I
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: you know, I hold them accountable, but I hold women
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: accountable too. You know, I'm not I'm not basic, so
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: I don't I don't delve in that man. You know,
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: it's some men that are trash. It's a bunch of
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: women that are trashed too. You know, it's some non
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: binary people that are trash. Yeah, right, so everybody gets it,
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: you know, So I don't hate men.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: I think another thing people will learn from. Like, you know,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: growing up without your father's last name. How do you
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: feel after your mom told you why?
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: I felt worse because she gave it to me so casually.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: She was so like cavalier about it, but it was
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: because that was what she knew. She grew up, she
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: didn't have her father's last name. You know, it was
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: like that just means you don't have your dad's last name.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Like it's all good for me. It was a stamp
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: that it made me a victim to I thought in
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: my head that means I'm gonna get mistreated. People know
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: my father is not around because my idea of a
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: daddy was protection. You know it exactly? Yeah, you know,
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: you're very good you you you I don't know if
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: you are in real life, but on social media. You know,
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. You know, people do it
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: all for the you know. But then because I put
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: some people on I know, some some stories. But the
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: thing was that I thought that because that's what I
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: thought a father was. It made me feel vulnerable like
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: I was like, now anybody can do anything to me,
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: you know whatever, And it wasn't true. My grandmother was
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: walking around with that gun making sure that she protected us.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Man, your story is crazy, even even even having to
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: your mom as a whole, like, because you.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: Know what, that's what kids would do when they when
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: you're not they see your mom and then you know,
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: in the hood is everything is get fair game. You know,
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: when you're playing them dozens, those kids will be like,
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: that's why your patty got canceled, Like it's the kids
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: are evil.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Crackhead son the job, your daddy was a crackhead, your
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: mothery crackheads son, crackhead dogs.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how we process the pain, that's how we
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: deal with it. And when somebody said that mama, the
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: creepiest thing about the whole thing was that the girl,
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: the lady who said my mama was a whole was
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: the biggest hole on the block, Like that's you, you know,
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: and she was talking about my mom because we she
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: thought that because her kids had the same father and
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: we didn't that her, she was better than my mom.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: And I was like, how sad. Now that I'm an adult,
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: I'm like, what a saddy assistence that that's where you
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: pop your collar, not something you did positive in the world.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: But my kids got the same daddy and they got
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: their father's last name, So I'm better than you. And
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: I was like, nah, I was. That's when I started
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: snapping and I was like, no, she she is a whole.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Do you believe what do you believe in people being
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: host Well, you.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Know, it depends on who you are allowed. I mean
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: I always told my daughter, you determine your hole. Don't
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: you let the streets do it. You know what your
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: threshold is if we'll start allowing. I mean, that's very patriarchal.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: That's where it's rooted in and people men get to
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: call women holes all day long and assess their value
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: while they out there hoeing, spreading diseases, doing all kinds
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: of stuff. Not all men, but y'all know yeah what
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about. So do I think do I believe
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: in the concept of ho You know, I think it's nuanced.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: You know, do we perpetuate some of that stuff if
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: we're telling little girls that if you have you don't
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: let nobody take it goods if they're not giving you money,
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: because we like to uphold that rhetoric. And then but
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: that is why little girls volunteer for cartels on the
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: border and say I want to I want to work
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: because I want to have you know, Gucci or whatever.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: So there's a fine line. We need to have honest
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: conversations about that. The terminology of hoe is something I
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: rebuke because it comes from toxic men when they are
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: telling women that their hosts are you willing to turn
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: the camera onto yourself? You call you yourself a hole because
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: your your value doesn't drop in society like ours does.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: But you know, I don't, I don't know. I mean,
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: we all had our moments where we we we were
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: a little more playful than and then our moments were
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: were a little more dedicated and serious, and we should
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: be able to do that, right.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I believe in the concept, but whole and if
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: it goes both ways, if you if you're gonna call
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: the guy to hold for the nasty and we do
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: it like we know some nasty. Yeah, some nasty day
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: we do too.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: You know, so if it goes both ways, I believe
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: in the concept. But if you're only just saying that
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: to a woman, I don't.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Oh man, I respect that, and that's all things have
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: to be fair.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: They love to count women's partners. You'll say, oh, she
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: was with such a such, but then you see the
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: dudes and you're like, but damn, like he's been with everybody,
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: but he gets praised for that, you know what I mean,
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: you had that, you had her, and then it's like
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: you messed with him. Yeah, And I don't know, like,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: do you use condoms with everybody? You know, like it's
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: it's it's we do. Yeah. So I think that if
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: you're gonna use holes, let it be across the board.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: But if you take that holes out too, because we
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: use it.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not going to come up here and
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: act like I'm pious, like I'm some you know, we
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: don't do that. We'll be calling people holes too. But
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: we we talk about dudes like we talk about women.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: We're not.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: We're not just sitting here.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: Women love to do that too, because women, we they
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: have socialized us to hate each other. So when we
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: we love to call other women you know I'm not
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: like that, Yes you are. You've had your moments. Stop it.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: And also the other thing about the whole and nobody
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: would know who's doing what if everybody would just shut
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: the fuck up, Like, how do you even find out
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: a person as a whole? Who's is every guy saying
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: that they slept with this everybody? Yeah, and you've been
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: there before. I'm probably in your youngest South Carolina. Most
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: of these guys tho you got to be a guy.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: He's lying like like like, oh you hit No.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: You know that my partner saying it's talked.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: About the need to shut up.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: The thing is like, do you really care? Like, honestly,
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: the thing about social media that's really been my management
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: is always like you're really terrible at social media. And
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: but I'll say this, like I'm always watching people like
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: the people who are like I'm letting the haters know
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: nobody cares like people who are like I'll show them
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: who you showing.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: People look at.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: It, they'll comment, they'll talk about it, and then they
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: move on to the next thing because it's they're consuming it,
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: like the ritos they don't care. You put so much
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: effort into shutting your haters down. God blessed James Hannah,
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: a brilliant comedian who passed away. He used to say
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: people of colors haters are their imaginary friends, because it
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: was like they don't exist. He was like, it's it's
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: you know, we put so much, we put so much
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: weight on that. Do you really care? It's something I
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: don't care. Who's a whole? Like they talk about j
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: Lo all the time, and I'm like, what does it?
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: How does that affect my food?
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: How does that affect my mama? Give a damn? Like
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: it's it's far. It's for a minute and then you
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: move on. So just remember when you are directing all
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: that energy to the people who you really think you're
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: shutting down, they don't care. Nobody cares.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: That's right now, it's almost the holidays. These memoirs cause problems.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, how does your family feel about you revealing
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: so much in the book.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I think the only people who
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: read the book so far my aunt and uncle, the
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: normal ones that are in DC, because the half of
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: my family is in Florida and the other half is
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: in like the DC Virginia and the DMV and yeah,
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: they're the normal ones, so they're cool. They all right,
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna read them. I'm gonna sit with my mom
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: and go through the book because I want to make
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: sure that my mom is in Yeah. I can't, I don't.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: I don't ever want to demonize her. So I want
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: her to understand where that came from. And I'm gonna
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: read the back first with her, because you know, I
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: give her grace throughout the book, but I want her
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: to know that she's still the queen.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Wow, are you dreading that conversation?
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: It needs to be had. She still has to be accountable.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: She was still my mom, you know, like I still did.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: I still went through a lot of stuff in life,
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: you know, as a kid, and she should you know,
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: she's she said to me, I'm so sorry for the
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: things that I put you through. I was, I was
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: a kid. But you know, I think it's it's a
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: necessary conversation for us to heal. She needs to forgive
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: her mother. She's still holding on to things about my
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: grand and my grandmother is dead. I'm like, bro, you
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: gotta let it go. Like she's she's gone, you know,
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: And you just you have to move on.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I don't think there's too many things that are more
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: free and than apology from your parents.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: I got it.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: That's why I say I apologize now as a father
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: to you my young kids, just because I know how
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: I felt. They never hear that from a parent. You
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: feel like mighty did you dirt? Yeah?
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: And amnesia. Like my mom used to beat my ass,
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: and now when I talk about it, she's like, I
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: never hit you, And I'm like, what this is revisionist
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: history at its best. She used to beat I mean
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: I she she fractured my ankle. I wrote an she
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: did my mother was because my mom got hit with
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: an extension chord too, so she felt like because she
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: hit us with a belt that it wasn't and it wasn't.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: But I was like, yo, and I switched my ground
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: that my grandmother we used to and so that's a
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: that's a people of color things, and Spanish is called
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: la ladita and they be like and she'll go go
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: get go, get your switch. And that was There was
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: no winning in that. There was not a switch that
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: didn't hurt, that didn't exist.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: You know, Jesus, all right, The book is out right
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: now make sure you get it.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Us.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. I appreciate y'all.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: You got coming up. You always working.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: So I'm directing another special comedy special. I'm trying to
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: direct as many women of color comedy special because I
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: want to them to get out. Marcella's did really well
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: on HBO. I'm doing one with Gina Brion. I'm shooting
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: her special in December. And I'm developing two TV shows
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: because I want to. I want to not just work,
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: but I want to be surrounded by people who look
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: like me, sound like me, you know, people of color,
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: black people, and I want to I want to put
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: some people to work there. So I'm developing the shows
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: right now, and I'm getting ready to direct this special. Dope,
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: amazing congratulation.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Thank you Rodriguez, get legitimate kid right now. And it's
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: the Breakfast Club, Good morning, and the book is not
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: funny in the morning, Breakfast Club