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10 Things I Wish I Knew as a Beginning Homeschooler (Part 2) · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Today we are continuing with our guest, Tricia Pohl.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: She is currently home educating her six children in grades five, six, seven, nine, ten, and eleven.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: She's used a variety of teaching approaches because she believes different kids have different learning needs.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: She also believes that school customized to the individual student is one of the great strengths of homeschooling.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: She is going to continue with reasons six through 10, things she wished she knew as a beginning homeschooler.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome back, Trish.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: And we're excited to the rest of the things you wish you knew.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thanks so much.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm super happy to be back and uh to share a little bit more here.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna delve right in with number six, and that is I learned in the early days that my kids need my help to differentiate between my mom hat and my teacher hat.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so our it's hard for our kids to hear criticism from us.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: They take that, I think, really deeply.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And when we were, when they were young and I was young, we didn't we had that misunderstanding somewhat regularly.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: The same words from my mouth as mom and teacher come are received very differently.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: If someone else, if Sandra, you said those same words to my kids, they would receive that really differently from you than they would from me.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so I have learned to tell my kids, okay, I'm putting my teacher hat on, I'm gonna grade your work, or I'm gonna look at this paper, I'm gonna give you some feedback.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the feedback is not about you, it's about helping you learn and grow.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so they uh they have gotten accustomed to that language in our home.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been a really helpful thing for them to not take criticism in a personal manner, but to allow them to see that um as a helpful thing from mom.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Number seven, uh, this one is about screens.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we really made a choice when our kids were young to avoid screens.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And one of my concerns was that are they going to be behind?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Their peers in in classrooms are as uh are exposed to screens and using screens from a very young age.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Are our kids going to be behind?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: But what we have really seen is that by avoiding screens, we've let their brains fully developed.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're less anxious, less angry, more able to converse with others and connect over meaningful things.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And and if they have ever been behind technology, behind technologically, they have been able to catch up.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: We literally kept our screens, kids from screens largely until they were in middle school.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And our oldest kids, who are now 10th and 11th graders, they um they get laptops generally, they purchase them with their own money, generally in 10th grade because they begin uh doing some college-level work at that point, they need them.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we have found that there is no lag for them.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: They're able to do all of the things that their peers are doing on computers, on iPads, on all of those things, and there has been no lag.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so that that's just an encouragement to other moms out there who are like, do we have to do technology and our kids do all the school on the computers?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, you don't, and no, they won't get behind.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Number eight, sometimes it's not about the math lesson.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, as mom, it's my job to see my kids and all their needs.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And when they're regularly having a meltdown over math, I should be asking, why?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Why is my child erupting in this way?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: What are they asking me to see in their behavior?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Does math make them feel stupid?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So they've decided that they're stupid every time they get a wrong answer.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if that's where they're at, I can understand why this is so frustrating and upsetting.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so, as mom, it's my job to see that and to speak to that and to sometimes set aside the math so that we can have a conversation about more than math.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so sometimes the eruption isn't about math at all, it's about how a kid is feeling.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the eruption is because I haven't had enough rest.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the eruption is something really hard happened to me last night at church and I haven't told you about it yet.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, I think I want to encourage moms to just trust their instinct.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And when you a sense this is out of place, this child's having this response, and I I I it doesn't seem right over math.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to um, it's probably not about math, it's probably about something else.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to encourage you not to make that mistake I made so I have made, continues to make sometimes so many times to just stop and look and see what is they, what are they really upset about?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if this is more than what is appearing.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Number nine, what I didn't know was that successful homeschooling is a lot more about character than anything else in both me and my kids.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: First, I can't impart what I don't possess.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if I desire for my kids to possess humility and patience and discipline and the sticking with it, um, honesty and forgiveness, if I want that for them, I must pursue it personally.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to have obtained all of that, like the Apostle Paul will encourage us, but I have to be moving forward toward that and gaining some of those skills myself so that I have something to share with them.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it doesn't matter how much curriculum we cover.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And trust me, I want to cover curriculum.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter how much we cover if we don't love one another and cheer one another on and respond with humility in difficult situations.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I've done my job well if my kids only know intellectual things and their hearts have not been transformed by Jesus Christ in this process.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the last thing that has been the most humbling thing of all is that there's no formula for success.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's just absolute dependence on God for each day, each step, each moment.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Successful homeschooling requires balance.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so I sometimes just want to run through the math books and the language arts books and hammer that home.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel bad if we don't get all those things done.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And when I've done that, I've missed opportunities to see my kids and help them emotionally and physically and spiritually.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: But on the other side, we can't just be all fun and games.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: We have to pursue the curriculum.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: We have to balance books and life skills and um emotional health.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to balance putting the books away some days with sticking it out.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: We have to balance authority in the home and me, uh me in multitude of ways is demonstrating to my kids that mom is in charge and you have to do what I say with compassion and grace that pulls them close when they're having a hard day and when they have been disobedient.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so that balance is impossible on our own.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know how to do all those things because the answer is always changing.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: What should I do this time?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because today is a different day than yesterday was.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: So what's the answer for today?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the only answer I know is to seek the Lord in those moments, in those frustrating, everything just fell apart moments, in those joyous occasions when everything feels like it's going well.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, the only answer is to seek Jesus.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: He has the answer, and he promises to give wisdom to all without finding fault.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just want to encourage you that there's no formula, and what worked today or this week or this year may need to shift for next week or next year or tomorrow.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want to encourage you to pursue the heart of the Father.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: He loves our kids more than we do, and he loves us, and he desires to walk with us and to light the path where he's calling us to step.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much to be said about each one of these, Sandra.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I could go on and on, but I think our time is probably ended.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want to encourage you.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I work with a company called Homeschooling with Confidence, and we have a website, www.hswithconfidence.com, and you can dig into these different areas.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if God's pricked your heart in an area, there's lots here on Sandra's website.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've been looking around, and on hswithconfidence.com, we've got lots of tools for you to dig deeper in any of these areas.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Trish, thank you.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: You just uh it's it's great what you share because you're right, it's not all about getting the workbooks done.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh homeschooling offers such a great opportunity to form the character of our kids.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just, and especially in today's culture, the character that that the culture wants to form in our kids is not Christian.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's just he's so he's so faithful, he does that work in us too.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we get to be the recipients right next to them of all of his good work.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, as Trish said, please visit their website.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'll have it in the notes from this podcast.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: And Trish, thank you so much for sharing these.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I think it'll help anyone who's considering homeschooling.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because as you say, it's not perfect and only God can help.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's true.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a pleasure to be here.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Bye bye.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Bye bye.