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Psychology Fact: Reverse Psychology · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, so the brain fact of today is all it's
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: more a psychology fact actually, but it's all about reverse psychology.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: What is reverse psychology? Why do we do it? And
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: why does it affect us so much? And why do
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: we cave when people use reverse psychology on us? So
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to be talking about that. So firstly, what
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: is reverse psychology? So basically, reverse psychology is when you
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: say something in the hope that somebody is going to
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  Speaker 1: do the opposite of what you say. So, for example,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: if you asking them to do something outright, if you
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  Speaker 1: think that the person's not going to do that for you.
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  Speaker 1: A lot of people use this with their children or
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: they use it with their friends when they're trying to, like,
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  Speaker 1: you know, twist their arms to do something. If you
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  Speaker 1: believe that just asking them outright to do that thing
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  Speaker 1: is not going to be successful, you'll turn it around
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  Speaker 1: and either request the opposite thing, or you'll make a
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  Speaker 1: statement that will make the other person feel uncomfortable with
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  Speaker 1: what you've said that they need to prove you wrong.
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  Speaker 1: So an example of this would be if you're talking
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  Speaker 1: to your partner and you make a statement like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: don't worry about unloading the dishwasher, I know that you
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  Speaker 1: never do it anyway, and then your partner might be like,
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  Speaker 1: wait a minute, I'll prove it. I'll prove it that
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  Speaker 1: I can do it, and they'll go and do that thing.
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  Speaker 1: Or it's when you say to your friend, oh, I
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  Speaker 1: don't expect you to want to come out tonight because
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  Speaker 1: you're the boring one in the group, and then your
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  Speaker 1: friends like, oh fuck, I want to be the boring one.
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  Speaker 1: I'll fucking prove you wrong, so then they decide to
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  Speaker 1: come out, or statements like oh, you wouldn't do something
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  Speaker 1: like that, like I don't think you're not daring enough.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: That's reverse psychology. One I want someone's like I will
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  Speaker 1: prove to you. I'm going to prove you wrong and
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  Speaker 1: I am daring enough or I am brave enough, or
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  Speaker 1: I am consistent enough, or you think I'm not going
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  Speaker 1: to do that thing you know you want you, you know,
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  Speaker 1: trying to motivate someone to do something and say, ah nah,
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  Speaker 1: I just don't think you'll do that thing because xyz.
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  Speaker 1: So that's basically reverse psychology. There's many other ways that
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  Speaker 1: reverse psychology can be used. I was obviously doing a
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  Speaker 1: lot of every time I do a brain factor. I
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  Speaker 1: just read up on a whole bunch of things, and
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  Speaker 1: there was all these examples that were used with reverse psychology.
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  Speaker 1: One of the reverse psychology things that I read, which
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  Speaker 1: I highly doubt would be successful, but it's where you
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: tell your children don't pick up your toys to get
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: your kids to pick up the toys. I'm not sure
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  Speaker 1: how successful that one is. I just don't say that
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  Speaker 1: as being successful. If my mum when I was a
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  Speaker 1: kid told me not to pick up the toys, I
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  Speaker 1: would be rejoicing. But anyway, that's just me as a kid.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: But yeah, there's heaps heaps of different ways, and it's
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  Speaker 1: a form of manipulating the outcome of something. So it's
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  Speaker 1: you trying to get an outcome, is it mean? I
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  Speaker 1: don't really think it is, depending on how it's delivered
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  Speaker 1: and depending on the person, But in general it's just
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  Speaker 1: like in most cases, it's people trying their luck, trying
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  Speaker 1: to see if they can manipulate the outcome. And in
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  Speaker 1: a lot of the times it works because people don't
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  Speaker 1: like a statement to be said about them, it doesn't
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  Speaker 1: sit well with them, and they have this need to
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  Speaker 1: basically prove you wrong and I'm going to talk about
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  Speaker 1: why it is that we do it in a sec So,
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  Speaker 1: why does it affect us so much when someone makes
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  Speaker 1: a comment and then we feel that we need to
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  Speaker 1: do the opposite. When someone says you wouldn't do that,
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  Speaker 1: or you're not like this, or I wouldn't expect you
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  Speaker 1: to do that, or you never do this anyway, and
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  Speaker 1: then you feel you have to do the opposite of
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  Speaker 1: that person. So the reason overall psychology works in most
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  Speaker 1: cases is when people feel that they're being pressured to
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  Speaker 1: do something or pressured into saying something, or when they're
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  Speaker 1: being pigeonholed into a category. They don't like that feeling,
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  Speaker 1: so they decide to do the absolute opposite of that
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  Speaker 1: so they can assert their sense of control or assert
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  Speaker 1: their autonomy in that situation. So that is why reverse
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  Speaker 1: psychology works. So, well, oh you're gonna call me boring, Well,
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  Speaker 1: I'll show you that I actually have control of this
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  Speaker 1: situation and I'll show you that I'm not boring. Oh
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  Speaker 1: you're gonna say that I'm not consistent. I'll prove you wrong.
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  Speaker 1: You know, you can't pigeonhole me, you can't label me,
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  Speaker 1: you can't control me. So I'm going to prove you
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  Speaker 1: wrong and do the opposite. That is why reverse psychology
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  Speaker 1: is so successful, because people don't like the feeling of
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  Speaker 1: being controlled and being labeled, and they like to prove
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  Speaker 1: to you that they're the ones in control and they
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  Speaker 1: have autonomy of themselves and control of the situation. And
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  Speaker 1: someone who's really good at reverse psychology understands this very well,
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  Speaker 1: whether they're consciously aware of it or whether they just
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  Speaker 1: have used it as a tool and it's worked really well,
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  Speaker 1: but they understand that human response that most people have,
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  Speaker 1: so they will use that to manipulate a situation time
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  Speaker 1: and time and time again. You can get a if
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  Speaker 1: you're very good at using reverse psychology, you can get
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  Speaker 1: a lot out of your partner, or out of your friends,
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  Speaker 1: or your family, or your colleagues. By using this, you
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  Speaker 1: can get a lot of things done. You can get
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  Speaker 1: people around you to do the task that they should
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  Speaker 1: be doing. There's so much that you can use with
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  Speaker 1: reverse psychology. Now, from the receiving end, how to not
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  Speaker 1: get swayed by reverse psychology when you genuinely don't want
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  Speaker 1: to be doing something. Firstly, you've got to identify when
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  Speaker 1: it is reverse psychology Normally, when someone's using reverse psychology,
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  Speaker 1: they're going to say something that kind of doesn't sit
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  Speaker 1: really right with you. Often what they're saying doesn't really
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  Speaker 1: align with their overall goals or overall what they want
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  Speaker 1: in general. So, for example, using that scenario of a
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  Speaker 1: friend wanting you to go out, if they say, oh, nah, nah,
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  Speaker 1: you're not gonna You're not gonna go out because you're
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  Speaker 1: so boring. If you know deep down that your friend
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: wants nothing more than you to go out with them,
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  Speaker 1: then that's an indicator that they're using reverse psychology, because
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  Speaker 1: if they were just being dead honest, they would say,
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  Speaker 1: please come out. I'd love for you to come out
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  Speaker 1: with me, But they know that you'll respond negatively to that,
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  Speaker 1: so they're using a different tactic. And then, of course
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  Speaker 1: the outcome if if what they're saying which doesn't align
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  Speaker 1: with what you think they actually want, If what they're saying,
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  Speaker 1: if you were to do the opposite of that, if
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  Speaker 1: it benefits them, then it's likely them using reverse psychology.
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  Speaker 1: So that's the best way to figure out if someone's
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  Speaker 1: using it on you. If you say, if I do
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  Speaker 1: the opposite of what you're saying, now, if that benefits you,
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  Speaker 1: then there you fucking go. Then it's reverse psychology. If
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  Speaker 1: they say something and you actually do the opposite of
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  Speaker 1: that and it doesn't benefit them, then they're not using
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  Speaker 1: reverse psychology. They're trying to manipulate the situation to get
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  Speaker 1: something to benefit them and possibly you as well, but
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  Speaker 1: them now, So number one is to identify it. The
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  Speaker 1: second one is to just straight up call them out
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  Speaker 1: and say, I know you're using reverse psychology, but it's
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  Speaker 1: not going to work on me right now. If they
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  Speaker 1: get defensive, whatever, if you don't feel comfortable saying something
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  Speaker 1: like that, you also can just question them on this
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  Speaker 1: argument and ask them to back that statement or back
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  Speaker 1: that claim. So again, back to the thing of oh
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  Speaker 1: you're boring, you wouldn't come out just say do you
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  Speaker 1: really think I'm boring? I feel that you probably wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: be hanging out with me if I was such a
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  Speaker 1: boring person. But if that's how you feel, I'd I'd
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  Speaker 1: love for you to expand on that, and then it
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  Speaker 1: kind of they will backpedal. In most cases they'll be
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  Speaker 1: like oh no, no, no, no, Or you could say,
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  Speaker 1: do you really think I'd do nothing around the house,
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  Speaker 1: because if you feel that way, let's talk about it.
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  Speaker 1: And then you're kind of calling them out without directly
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  Speaker 1: saying I know you're using reverse psychology, you're kind of saying,
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  Speaker 1: you know this, I'm questioning what you've just said, and
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  Speaker 1: I need you to back up that statement. And then
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  Speaker 1: if they mean it, they'll have really good evidence to
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  Speaker 1: back it up. If they were using reverse psychology, they're
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  Speaker 1: likely just going to backpedal out of what they just said.
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  Speaker 1: Another one that's really good to just simmer it down
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  Speaker 1: and for it to go nowhere is to if it's
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  Speaker 1: not difficult for you to do so, is to just
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  Speaker 1: agree with them and then see how they respond to that.
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  Speaker 1: So if someone says, oh, you know, you're so boring,
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  Speaker 1: you never go out just say yeah, I know, and
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  Speaker 1: it kind of just die. There's nothing really there. You
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  Speaker 1: don't have to, you don't feel like you've got to
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  Speaker 1: prove something to them. You don't feel like you have to,
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  Speaker 1: you know, show that you're the funnest person alive when
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  Speaker 1: you're around them. You just kind of agree with them,
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  Speaker 1: and then they likely will backpedal as well. They'll be like, well, no,
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  Speaker 1: I don't No, you're not boring, because they're like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: this isn't working, and now I've offended them, when the
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  Speaker 1: opposite is what I wanted. I wanted them to be
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  Speaker 1: playful and come out with me, and now I've just
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  Speaker 1: either offended them or now they've kind of just agreed
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  Speaker 1: with me, and I've got nowhere with that statement. And
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  Speaker 1: then another thing that you can do is you don't
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  Speaker 1: agree or you don't disagree. You just make a statement
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  Speaker 1: where you kind of give that person the right to
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  Speaker 1: have an opinion. So basically you say you know fair
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  Speaker 1: enough that you feel that way, you're entitled to your opinion,
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  Speaker 1: So you haven't agreed, you haven't disagreed, But then you
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  Speaker 1: also don't feel manipulated or swayed to do that thing,
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  Speaker 1: you know, So if you feel like it's making your
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  Speaker 1: blood boil and you have to prove that you have
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  Speaker 1: control over the situation, if you have to assert your autonomy,
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  Speaker 1: then what you could do instead is just say that
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  Speaker 1: is your opinion, and that's fair. You are genuinely entitled
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  Speaker 1: to your opinion. So those are a few ways to
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  Speaker 1: not get caught up in this because a lot of people,
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  Speaker 1: when something's said against them, even if they know it's
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  Speaker 1: a manipulation tactic. They cannot handle it. They don't want
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  Speaker 1: that thing being said. It grinds their gears and they
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  Speaker 1: just have to prove the other person wrong. And sometimes
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  Speaker 1: it just is exhausting trying to prove the other person wrong. Now,
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  Speaker 1: I will say that in most cases when reverse psychology
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  Speaker 1: is used, it's very much for playful reasons between friends
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  Speaker 1: and between partners and parents and children and stuff like that.
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  Speaker 1: So I definitely don't think it's a toxic manipulation tactic
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  Speaker 1: in most cases. There might be some scenarios where unhealthy
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  Speaker 1: relationships might use reverse psychology to really manipulate that person
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  Speaker 1: to feel controlled, but in general, reverse psychology is often
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: used in a very non unhealthy, non toxic way. But yeah,
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  Speaker 1: that's how it works, and I think it's really interesting
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  Speaker 1: and you can use it in a playful way with
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  Speaker 1: your friends, and you can notice when it's being used
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  Speaker 1: on you, and it's it's pretty interesting because even when
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  Speaker 1: you know it's being used on you, a lot of
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  Speaker 1: the time, it still works. It still makes you do
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  Speaker 1: the opposite because we've just got this thing built into
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  Speaker 1: us that we have to prove that we are in
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  Speaker 1: control of ourselves, and the other person has to know that.
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  Speaker 1: So I'll do the opposite of what you tell me,
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  Speaker 1: just so you can see that you're not in control.
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  Speaker 1: I'm in control. We've got that crazy need. So I
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  Speaker 1: thought that was really interesting. Anyway, that's the brain fact
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: of today, or the psychology fact of today.