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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just - The Humility Solution: A Shortcut to Immediate Happiness 4.14.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Talks about the fact that the 4th, kind of like the 4th
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  category in conduct of humility is treating other people with
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  respect. We said yesterday that it feels
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  like it's person being very humble and maybe even a little
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  bit putting himself down. I'm going to greet every single
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  person. You have to be such a low, such
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  a simple, easy person that you recognize that one in the room.
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  The truth the matter is, he explains, because really brings
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  Calvo to yourself. Because how does it work?
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  If I woke up the room and I ignore four people, those four
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  people are turned off, automatically turned off.
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  They might still gravitate and be attracted and be impressed by
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  my power or my prestige or my honor.
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  It doesn't stop them from wanting a connection, but it
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  does stop them from liking the person you know.
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  I know it. Cold people, very simple.
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  While they're impressive and powerful and great people always
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  want to connection with them. You find very interesting.
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  There are cold people out there who ignore people.
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  They're still charming, they're still powerful, they still have
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  authority, and they therefore still have a major attraction.
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  And a major attraction, for example, of a guy who is a big
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  deal, who's a little bit cold, if he makes a big wedding and he
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  invites a lot of people, everyone's coming.
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  Everyone's coming to his wedding.
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  Being cold does not stop friendships, but it does stop
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  people really liking him. And so he's telling you be awful
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  person. Recognize every person that you
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  see. Be like Yokharaman Zakai, who
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  said hello to every individual we met, even the guy in the
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  shook little. That means you walk in the
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  street, you see a person doesn't make a difference If you make
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  eye contact with that person. It doesn't matter if it's a
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  garbage collector. All right, mailman for sure.
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  Even if it's the Korean person collecting the bottles, if they
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  make I got to be you, they're still human being.
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  You say hello, you see a person doesn't make a difference the
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  color and there's not a racist. There's not there's not an anti
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  racist thing. This is just every human being
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  is a person and they all deserve a basic level of decency and
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  respect. Doesn't make a difference where
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  they're from, who they like, that background, who they're
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  associated with. It makes 0 difference.
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  I'm talking about walking in Israel and seeing an Arab.
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  You say hello, doesn't hurt anybody.
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  You say hello. It's all the same thing.
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  All right? If you make contact and treat
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  your person, you know from business, if you treat a person
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  with respect, they can treat you normally.
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  As much, as much as this very polarizing world and things are
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  always extremely heated and we have issues with a lot of people
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  out there and all that stuff. Reality is, you face a person
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  face to face and you give them a decent greeting, you'll be fine
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  with them normally. You'll be fine.
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  Again, If they steal from you and they harm you and they're
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  part of the faction that hates you, you have trouble.
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  But technically speaking, you give a regular person decent
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  greeting, you'll be fine. I went to Chuck E Cheese in
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  Staten Island last week. All right, that was a process.
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  OK, Half the place was Muslim. On the why half the place is
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  Muslim, Half Jewish, half Muslim.
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  I don't know why. Every person that I saw Arab guy
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  hi, hi, say hello. The guy thought you say hello.
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  You wave something just a just a big signal.
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  And you know what? They were fine.
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  They nodded back. We're not discussing world
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  politics right now. We're not in Israel, we're not
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  in in Iran right now. We're not dealing with the
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  issues. What does it hurt me?
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  What does it hurt them? You could always live side by
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  side, always live normal people and you give them the basic
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  decency. People talk about the fact that
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  growing up live with the Italians, they live with this,
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  live with that, and it was all fine.
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  Why was it all fine? Because you had a basic level of
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  decency. When do things get crazy?
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  When you start to get crazy, when you start to be cold and
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  you start to distance and polarize and all these things.
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  So he's telling you it's great level of humility.
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  It requires a decent level of decency and humility and the
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  ability to recognize another person.
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  But it's better for you. It's beneficial for you.
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  You can keep a decent, good relationship with everybody.
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  And now you move into your inner circle and the community of
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  people who actually are connected to you and you treat
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  them with the same mindset. You'll have a massive,
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  unbelievable fan club. It doesn't mean you'll be a a
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  man of authority and a leader, but it does mean that all around
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  you people will have a decent liking to you because you treat
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  them with respect. That's his time.
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  Let's man this point. You've seen it now about it by
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  our page of 463. With this, we've clarified the
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  the lead elements, elements of your move who pray to him.
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  I will explain the details of humility, but hopefully I mean
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  even all the details, all the particular issues and details
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  that come up with humility right now.
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  Of course, you, you know your own approach to humility, which
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  means as much as the book wrote about humility, you can check
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  every box and still be an arrogant guy.
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  You can be a person you agree to every person.
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  A person who doesn't want honor, doesn't want respect.
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  You can be a personal talk softly.
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  All that's true, but if you're not really humble inside, it's
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  still a sketch. You have to always find new
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  angles and what the words are, you schmuck ham yourself, like
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  the ham hears and he builds upon.
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  He finds his own degrees and his own angles to humility.
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  Venus evata, you should know a Navarre is great.
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  Humility is not just a good character trait and the best and
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  what that on bomb says is the best and all that, it's very
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  good because it avoids a lot of problems.
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  When a person is humble, you look at the average little flare
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  up that you deal with little flare up, little insult, little
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  ruined hour, little hard day, the classic stuff that we all
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  deal with, right? Look at most of them you pile on
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  the humility, they go away you add the level of low key, they
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  go away. If you apply the mindset that I
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  don't need everyone to treat me like my Shias like the biggest
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  deal, they go away so it's humility is not just a great
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  character trait to to attain very deep into the book, right
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  Chapter 22 deep into the book top level for a Jew.
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  It's also a very effective tool to have a far greater life.
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  Nobody realizes this, or enough it is.
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  We have lives that for some odd reason can be filled with murky
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  waters, can be filled with difficult days, can be filled
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  with headaches and little upset flare ups.
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  Or we have the same lives that can be smooth, can be cleaned,
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  can be very healthy relationships, can be steady,
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  can be consistent, can have a healthy mind, can be happy.
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  And the difference is whether we allow those flare ups to come.
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  And what are they based on? Humility, humility, humility.
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  If I'm a smaller deal, if I don't need to be treated like my
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  Shiah, if I don't need to be recognized all the time, you
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  know what happens? All those things that hurt me,
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  all those things that bother me, all those viewers that I have
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  that I may not succeed in, you know, in name, they go away
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  because I'm a regular guy. I'm a regular guy means an
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  insult doesn't mean as much. A regular guy means a lack of
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  respect doesn't make a difference to me.
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  A regular guy means the the drive for success for the sake
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  of success only is not there. I need to make money for my
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  family, yes, but that other drive not there.
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  All of a sudden, all the issues that are really driving at our
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  head, We still have stress. We still have levels of anxiety,
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  you still have things going on in life, but this part, it goes
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  away and you have a far smoother, cleaner, healthier,
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  happier life. You know what the real pursuit
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  of happiness really comes from? The pursuit of happiness.
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  The main pursuit is attained through your mood, through being
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  a guy that doesn't expect much from other people.
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  That's how it works. And it's so clear.
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  It's tried and true by so many people.
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  Look, he says, mesidah mieder khaldam mersholotrabin.
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  It removes our person many stumbling blocks and it brings
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  them closer to a lot of good things.
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  Kihanna 'cause I'm a person yahush miat.
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  He feels and is worried way very little about these things in
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  life. He doesn't get upset with the
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  mundane things and not only that, his friendship and his
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  crew is a good crew and people like him.
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  Naturally he's not going to angry as much fights and a cold
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  basket. Life is peaceful.
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  I called the Minucha. Everything has come.
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  Could you imagine he's telling you like this your life for
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  Amazon. You want to enjoy this world Two
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  choices. You could seek everything
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  prominence name recognition big deal public success, huge home
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  may unbelievable car. You can seek it all and that
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  hopefully will allow us to have in our minds degrees of
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  happiness, but very tentative and very dangerous because in
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  that in that pursuit, you run the risk of not making that
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  money, not building the perfect home, not loving your car,
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  someone else having a nicer car or a nicer home.
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  A neighbor I drive on Ocean Parkway.
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  I noticed something at different houses that are unbelievable.
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  And then you look nearby and the houses are also almost
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  unbelievable. And in my mind, I think to
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  myself, imagine is I'm not going to anyone imagine.
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  I built the almost unbelievable house first.
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  And then my neighbor who's attached on one side builds
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  unbelievable house. People don't realize this.
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  If you're attached, people notice both houses.
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  They don't see one separate than the other.
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  So I'm looking at yours, you're almost unbelievable and I see
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  his unbelievable. I never see you're almost
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  unbelievable again. Never once it's never noticed.
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  Isn't that a little bit discouraging?
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  It's a little bit frustrating. It is if that's all you care
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  about. If you built a nice house to
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  enjoy your house, it's fine. But if you built it to be on
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  that level, then you're running this risk.
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  And so the pursuit of happiness in a natural sense runs so many
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  risks where it's going to fall, claim out.
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  A guy wants to be prominent now his life, he has spent his
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  entire life to become CEO. Oh, he's not prominent.
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  A guy who wants to be well known, he has to do a couple of
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  moves to create. We have to be well known, a
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  couple of moves to make him famous.
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  And one bad move and it's famous goes the other way.
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  So many things that we have to pursue and attain and build and
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  work toward a much easier cut to the chase way to enjoy.
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  All that. Just to say, be humble, be low
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  key. Tell yourself I'm good.
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  I enjoy this life as is. I'm perfectly content with the
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  fact I'm a big deal in my mind. I'm not the biggest deal.
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  I don't need to be the biggest deal.
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  I don't need to be the best in everything.
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  I don't need to be #1 in every area.
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  Yeah, it's good to have a drive, sure.
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  But it's not good to have this need because this need will
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  require that the only way you can be content is if you have it
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  all. The other way to be content is
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  to be perfectly OK with the current state.
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  How? Because I'm humble.
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  So you have in front of you 2 choices, an endless pursuit or
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  an immediate attaining your level.
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  What's the decision? Simple question, am I OK being a
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  regular guy? Am I good being?
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  You know, it's a regular simple humble person.
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  You know I'm good with that. I'm happy right now.
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  Make me the point I meant so normally.
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  Normally when you work on your midot, like we're doing over
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  here and you're working on developing as a Jew, usually
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  they don't tell you it's better for your life down here.
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  They tell you it's better for becoming a better person.
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  But for your life, you're sacrificing, you're hurting
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  yourself. But listen, flash him as a Jew,
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  you work on your character in this area.
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  He's telling you it's not sacrifice, it's not hurting
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  yourself. You're not taking yourself down.
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  You're being smart. Life and pursuit of happiness,
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  or life and happiness immediately.
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  How? Because I'm a humble guy, I'm
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  good. And these people live life in
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  such a more beautiful way, I'm actually jealous of them because
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  they don't get upset, they don't get insulted, they don't get
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  hurt, they don't have. They're all ups and downs.
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  They're not waiting on success. They don't need to be a big
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  deal. They're perfectly fine with
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  simplicity. And there's a jealousy here
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  because that is beauty. Why?
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  Because the end goal either track is happiness.
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  You can jump 1,000,000 miles for happiness, or you can look right
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  in front of your face and have the exact same happiness.
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  All it depends on is attaining that degree of humility and its
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  shapes everything. It's surprising that one
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  character trait can do so much, Can stop anger, stop fights,
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  stop arrogance, stop seeking prominence, stopping so much. 1
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  character trait, yes, but it's true.
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  One simple character trait can shape your entire existence to
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  be a far happier, more content, more successful in your mind,
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  more peaceful, and therefore healthier, clearer living life
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  more. You live it up.
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  You live it up this way in such a beautiful way when you are
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  perfectly content in the life you live.
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  Because think about any living up that you know of, right?
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  You go on, take the most expensive vacation in the world.
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  Most expensive vacation in the world probably is some hotel,
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  right? A few $1000 a night, I don't
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  know where. Some white sand beach, right.
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  Some awesome, unbelievably calm place.
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  Yeah, the goal sounds good. Sounds good.
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  I think this is place to give him $10,000 a night.
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  What else, right? The goal really and not even
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  being to you. The goal is for your mind to be
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  at ease. The ultimate, ultimate goal is
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  for you to feel calm, peaceful. I'm not talking about a roller
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  coaster, roller coaster entertainment, different,
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  different animal. I'm talking about a good
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  vacation for an adult. Calm, peaceful, pleasurable,
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  relax, chilled, soft, cut out the world, not worry, not get
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  angry, no pressure, beautiful sound and beautiful beach.
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  Forget it. Sounds awesome, right?
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  Sounds like I want to go true. The reality is the end game with
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  that. If you're calm, you're happy,
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  you're content, you're good. If you can build the world and
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  you have these very similar level of happiness right here in
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  Brooklyn, NY, with honking with a neighbor, with parking issues,
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  with work, with family, with the weather, up and down right with
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  funny politics where you can build the exact same world and
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  many, many people can. And first of all, you save a lot
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  of money. Second of all, this is really,
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  that's my goal. So you can, this is the point.
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  You could jump through 1000 hoops to get to that point, but
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  you can stop right now. I mean, the exact same point.
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  And if you think it sounds to you unattainable, it's not true.
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  Many people out there have this capability.
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  And in my mind, they're living it up.
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  They're living it up like nobody else.
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  They're living the life. They live a deal.
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  So by the way, come say Brooklyn.
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  He didn't say deal. Now I have a deal, boy.
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  So that's in my bones. I happen to have a certain
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  opinion about people who talk about moving.
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  All right, you're right. Until you have that, a little
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  more people talk about moving, moving.
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  They say, OK, one day I'll move here, I'll move there, move the
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  other place. You know what?
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  They're showing you they're lacking this.
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  You need this. And there are people.
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  Doesn't mean you have to stick it out wherever you are forever
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  doesn't have to deal with, you know, impossible neighbors and a
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  crazy block or whatever. But it does mean content, how
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  you own and we decided to move. You move, but not living your
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  whole life. So many people looking to get
• 18:00
  out, all looking to the next step, and that's because their
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  mind's not at ease. You want your mind to be at ease
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  in a very healthy way. So much stronger, so much more
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  powerful, so much more effective and so smarter.
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  If you're here, you're present, you're focus, and the main key
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  is your mood, right? That's the idea.
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  I'm stopping this.