Latest / The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell / iAlign #50 - Personal Growth is Lonely

Transcript

iAlign #50 - Personal Growth is Lonely · The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Seeking Authenticity Podcast, hosted by Eyeline, where you get the practical tools you need to overcome your action paralysis.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: We help ambitious individuals end their constant cycles of starting and stopping and take decisive control over their path so they can build the life they want, maximize their potential, and become unstoppable.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's about becoming a leader in the game instead of sitting on the bench, which is where you have to be in order to create or sustain a life that you are proud of.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Flint Mitchell, head coach of Violine, a coaching and software company aimed at building a more value-aligned world by supporting one billion people to take one value-based decision every day.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the episode.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: In this episode, I want to talk about personal growth and how it can be a bit lonely if we're being honest.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: At least at the start of it.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you grow, unfortunately, it means that you have to leave the comfort of all the things that you know in this current moment in the past.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: You have to let them go.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't let them go, you don't grow.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not trying to rhyme.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: You don't see what's on the other side, though.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: You don't get to see what's possible, the opportunities you could potentially pursue.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, it forces you to sit in isolation.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: You question the things that you knew, you question the things that you want to change, your behaviors, old friends, environments, behaviors, people, places you go to, things, anything in your life.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: You just start to question it because you're forced to leave it all behind.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And what gets replaced by that, at least for a little bit of time, is loneliness.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it hurts.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not going to sugarcoat that.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: When you make changes in your life, you can have pain, like emotional pain.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it can it can be a struggle.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: But the issue is that people stop at that initial discomfort.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Even, or even like maybe they go a little bit into it, they dip their toe in and they're like, I can handle this.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then they dip their foot in.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, actually, no, can't do that.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm out.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And they return to what's familiar instead of spending a little bit of time alone and replacing their behaviors and style of life and living with new ones that support them, ones that make them feel fulfilled and proud and successful and purposeful.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: But you won't be able to feel those things until you let go of the past and the things that aren't serving you.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, in return for it, not sitting in temporary isolation, once again, a temporary loneliness while growing, it means you will forever live in the discomfort of the past.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Or unfortunately, if you're in that place right now, the discomfort of your current present because you're unwilling to pursue, you know, what that future could possibly be for you.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I vividly remember uh the pain I felt after not being around friends I actually wanted to be around.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: After being hung over, after being overweight.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I remember the pain I felt when I wasn't proud of myself.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And there isn't a single moment of temporary isolation that compares to the insecurity, the shame, the guilt, the real loneliness that I felt not being aligned with my values.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's in those moments when I started waking up early in the mornings because I had to go to the gym.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I had to get my work done.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: I had to do the things that I was proud of because I was unwilling to live in that place anymore.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was unwilling to feel that emotional discomfort.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't the pain of isolation that I was about to face.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: It was just like consistent feeling like I was behind, like I was late to the game, like I just wasn't living as the person I wanted to be.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I will never go back to that.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And because of the feeling that I was like, I can't live in this moment anymore, I had to start changing my behavior.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And because I changed my behavior, I started feeling more discomfort, to be honest.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: But it was the discomfort of change.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that discomfort is positive if you're able to reframe it that way and endure it.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that meant a couple of months, sometimes years, of doing something new, being alone in it.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: My behavior had changed.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I had to go to sleep earlier.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: I had to leave people in my past in order to uphold new standards I was implementing in my life.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I had to enforce boundaries to take actions I was proud of.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because the people I was around didn't support that new behavior.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe they did, but they had to figure out how to change and adopt to that new lifestyle with me.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I would never give away the temporary feeling of loneliness, born from me growing for those late wake-ups, the feeling of being disheveled, overwhelmed, anxious, not taking action, lazy, due to being out of alignment with my core values.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, no chance.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that is the point that I really want to get across here.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Is if you want to change, you will experience, you will endure some level of discomfort.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: But that discomfort is temporary.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas the discomfort of not taking action, of not changing, is basically forever.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, I hope that resonates with you and I hope that helps.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, I'm actually currently running a case study with ambitious men who want next level focus and consistency.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, within 90 days of applying my system, they're more focused than ever.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if that is something that you're interested in being a part of, just click the link in the description of this podcast to book a quick, no pressure, no pitch 15 minute call with me.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: See if you're fit.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: But regardless, I hope you have a wonderful day.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Peace.