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Who Urinated in Your Breakfast Cereal? · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

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  Speaker 1: Who urinated in your breakfast cereal? It's one more thing.
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  Speaker 2: Armstrong and Getty.
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  Speaker 1: One more thing. I'm not going to use the P
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  Speaker 1: word because I'm not coarse. Rhymes with kiss. In the introduction,
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  Speaker 1: I'm a man of culture, sophistication. All right, here's an
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  Speaker 1: honest question. I want an honest answer. And Jack's not here.
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  Speaker 1: He's off at jury duty. But, Michael, I'm going to
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  Speaker 1: lead with you and go to Katie. And I don't
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  Speaker 1: mean at all. I mean maybe more than average. Are
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  Speaker 1: you moody? Are you a moody person? Yes. Yes, I am.
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  Speaker 1: Are you? Interesting. Katie, are you moody?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say so.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I am.
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  Speaker 1: I try very hard to be fair to the people
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  Speaker 1: in my life. I try to be very aware. And
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  Speaker 1: I will tell them, look, you probably don't want to
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  Speaker 1: be around me right now. I got the, you know,
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  Speaker 1: whatever going. Which, do that. Do that. People will appreciate that.
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  Speaker 1: I was warned by, I think, my future mother-in-law. It
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  Speaker 1: somehow came up that she said of my now wife
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  Speaker 1: of many years. She's kind of moody, so you're going
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  Speaker 1: to have to get used to that. And I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: I don't mean to be flip. Number one, she's a woman,
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  Speaker 1: so duh.
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  Speaker 2: That's fair.
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  Speaker 1: And number two, who am I to judge? Okay, so
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  Speaker 1: we've established that we're all a bit moody. I came
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  Speaker 1: across this. I've been sitting on it for a long time,
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  Speaker 1: but I really liked it. Six Habits, a happiness expert,
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  Speaker 1: whatever the hell that is. Oh, jeez. She's actually a scientist.
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  Speaker 1: She's studied the psychology of happiness and unhappiness and that
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  Speaker 1: sort of thing. There are actually a handful of people
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  Speaker 1: who do that. I can never remember the guy's name, Brooks,
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  Speaker 1: who writes for Arthur Brooks. I always want to say
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  Speaker 1: Mel Brooks or who's the other guy? It doesn't matter. Garth?
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  Speaker 1: Garth Brooks, yeah. Different guy. But they write and think
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  Speaker 1: and study happiness. Anyway, so this woman is one of
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  Speaker 1: those people. Six habits she uses to boost her mood
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  Speaker 1: if she's feeling funky. Okay. And if sometimes you got
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  Speaker 1: the funk, you want something that's going to lift you
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  Speaker 1: out of it. Although, you know, I actually asked a
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  Speaker 1: chat bot the other day, why if you're pissed off,
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  Speaker 1: Do you kind of want to stay pissed off? Oh,
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  Speaker 1: I just used the P word. Hypocrite.
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  Speaker 2: There goes all that culture. Yeah, you know what? That's true. Wait, wait, wait.
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  Speaker 1: That's like the F word. That's a big effing deal
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  Speaker 1: is different than using it as a verb. True. Okay.
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  Speaker 1: The act of coitus. So in this case, being pissed
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  Speaker 1: off is different than describing somebody actually and inexplicably urinating
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  Speaker 1: in my breakfast cereal. Of all the cold hearted acts. Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: where were we? I don't even remember. What was my point?
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  Speaker 1: I was leading.
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  Speaker 2: When you get mad, you want to stay mad.
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  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, cause I, I, I
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  Speaker 1: found myself doing that and that's, that's speaking of moods.
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  Speaker 1: That's a fault of mine. I work hard not to
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  Speaker 1: do that, but I do it. Um, and I asked
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  Speaker 1: one of the chat bots and, and it told me, well,
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  Speaker 1: because your sense of justice has been, um, abused and
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  Speaker 1: you feel like there should be justice and or an
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  Speaker 1: accounting or a reckoning or at least a confession and
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  Speaker 1: it hasn't happened or at least it hasn't happened to
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  Speaker 1: your satisfaction so you feel like the scales of justice
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  Speaker 1: are still out of balance huh and I'm like okay
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  Speaker 1: that's right I at least want somebody to say yeah
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  Speaker 1: I was an idiot I was out of line you.
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  Speaker 3: Know but until that is said until that is said
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  Speaker 3: feel the wrath.
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  Speaker 1: Yes In the great words of, was it Bowling for Soup?
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  Speaker 1: What was the band that had Five Days was their
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  Speaker 1: big hit? Five for Fighting? No. It'll be five days
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  Speaker 1: till you say you're sorry. What band was that? That
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  Speaker 1: was a good song. Everybody's shouting it at their listening devices.
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  Speaker 1: It's the one with Chickadee China, the Chinese chicken?
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  Speaker 2: Bare Naked Ladies.
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  Speaker 1: Bare Naked Ladies. I knew it was one of your
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  Speaker 1: wackily named bands. Anyway. Okay, so here's the half dozen
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  Speaker 1: things this happiness expert does when she's feeling the funk.
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  Speaker 1: She's got the heavy funk. She says, exercise every day,
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  Speaker 1: even if it's for only 30 seconds.
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  Speaker 3: Hmm.
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  Speaker 1: She says, my trick is, because I'm so busy, I
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  Speaker 1: have four kids and two jobs, basically. I'll go for
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  Speaker 1: a 15-minute run, or if I can't, I'll run up
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  Speaker 1: the stairs. It invigorates me. Any level of exercise... Makes
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  Speaker 1: an amazing difference in brain chemistry.
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  Speaker 2: I can see that.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Everybody, I think everybody's nodding their head unless
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  Speaker 1: you're like completely sedentary. You don't want to go to
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  Speaker 1: the gym. You hate being at the gym. After you're
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  Speaker 1: at the gym, your brain feels completely different. I always
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  Speaker 1: tell my dad it's just a micro workout. It makes
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  Speaker 1: me less murdery. Yes. Yes. So true. Okay. So that's
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  Speaker 1: an easy one. Secondly, and I learned this a long
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  Speaker 1: time ago, depression is inward looking. Her second hint is
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  Speaker 1: reach out to people literally. She literally wrote a book
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  Speaker 1: arguing that love is the key to happiness. She says,
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  Speaker 1: reach out to family, reach out to friends, anything. If
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  Speaker 1: you got a kid, grab your kid. Look at your kid.
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  Speaker 1: Anything to go outward. Talk to somebody. So when I'm moody, Joe,
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  Speaker 1: I should just call you up? Yes, absolutely. I happen
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  Speaker 1: to be busy that day. and you'll get my message,
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  Speaker 1: but it's a lovely message, and I hope you enjoy it.
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  Speaker 1: Even petting a dog can stimulate the release of the
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  Speaker 1: hormone oxytocin, making us feel a sense of calm and well-being. Hence,
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  Speaker 1: service dogs and hospital dogs and stuff like that.
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  Speaker 2: This all makes total sense.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, I had to talk to a couple
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  Speaker 1: of guys about a business thing, but a guy who
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  Speaker 1: I know who has a service dog and needs it,
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  Speaker 1: It's not a phony service animal to get a, so
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  Speaker 1: you don't have to pay your pet deposit at your apartment.
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  Speaker 1: And I know somebody who did that. And the, uh,
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  Speaker 1: the apartment complex is like, yeah, don't worry. You don't
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  Speaker 1: have to prove everything. Everybody does that. We don't care.
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  Speaker 2: Good, good, good set of rules. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Little hint, little wink, little nod. Anyway. Oh, but this
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  Speaker 1: guy had his service golden retriever with him. And these
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  Speaker 1: two guys, I needed to ask a business question. They're
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  Speaker 1: fawning over the dog and petting him. And I waited
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  Speaker 1: a minute. Then I waited another minute, and I thought,
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  Speaker 1: you know, I'll come back another time. I'm not going
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  Speaker 1: to interrupt dog loving. I couldn't. My thing wasn't important enough,
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  Speaker 1: and I could see the joy it was bringing. Anyway, okay,
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  Speaker 1: so reach out. Go beyond small talk. Jack would hate
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  Speaker 1: this one. Connecting people and even a small talk with
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  Speaker 1: strangers has proven benefits. See, this is true. Sometimes when
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  Speaker 1: I'm feeling extra murdery, I'll go to a store. The
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  Speaker 1: folks will say, welcome, let me know if you have
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  Speaker 1: any questions or whatever, and I'll say, thanks, I appreciate it.
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  Speaker 1: That exchange helps, just that little exchange. Really?
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  Speaker 2: See, I'm like Jack with this.
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  Speaker 3: My mom the other day was telling me she went
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  Speaker 3: to the store and she ran into Sue and Betty,
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  Speaker 3: and she had a great conversation with both of them,
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  Speaker 3: and I'm sitting there going, that sounds awful.
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  Speaker 2: I go into the store, I want to get in,
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  Speaker 2: get out. I don't want to talk to anybody.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you're feeling murdery, And it's a pleasant conversation.
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  Speaker 1: She also says, well, she says, and talk about meaningful stuff.
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  Speaker 1: Don't keep it surface level. People crave to be asked
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  Speaker 1: and enjoy real conversations more than shallow ones. Even strangers.
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  Speaker 1: Share your life with the clerk. Yeah. Somebody says, how
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  Speaker 1: you doing? Go into depth. I mean, like 10 minutes deep.
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  Speaker 1: of how you've been wronged.
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  Speaker 2: Don't do that.
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  Speaker 3: As a previous clerk at a store, when you'd ask somebody, hey,
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  Speaker 3: how's it going?
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  Speaker 2: And they'd go, you know, I've been better.
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  Speaker 1: You're like, oh no.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, we shouldn't have asked. Here we go.
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  Speaker 1: Here we go. Yeah, weigh each of these on your own.
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  Speaker 1: That's fine. Practice them or not. She says, practice spirituality.
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  Speaker 1: Research shows people who identify as religious are happier. That's
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  Speaker 1: in part because religion provides people with a built-in community
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  Speaker 1: and a sense of meaning, both of which are linked
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  Speaker 1: to happiness and well-being, both community and sense of being.
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  Speaker 1: Whether you're traditionally religious or... She said whether spirituality comes
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  Speaker 1: through organized religion or through experiences like spending time in nature,
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  Speaker 1: cultivating a sense of purpose is essential to happiness. Okay.
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  Speaker 1: Breathe deeply. Breathing exercises. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Um... Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I've never really tried that.
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  Speaker 2: They don't work well. I shouldn't say it as a
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  Speaker 2: blanket statement like that.
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  Speaker 3: They don't work well for me because the counting and
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  Speaker 3: then you're focusing too much on inhale, exhale, and it
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  Speaker 3: gets complicated and difficult to breathe if you're anxious and murdery.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. You know what I've found?
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  Speaker 2: Is this anxious?
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  Speaker 1: If I realize the show... going to start in 60
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  Speaker 1: seconds and I forgot to do something that normally is
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  Speaker 1: just solid and ready to go at the beginning of
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  Speaker 1: the show, I've noticed my breathing will become extremely shallow.
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  Speaker 1: Like I'm in a fight or flight type on the
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  Speaker 1: balls of my feet situation. And I finally learned to
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  Speaker 1: recognize that and actually breathe. Otherwise, it's just tiny little
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  Speaker 1: ins and outs, which is like a fighting thing, I guess.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. That sounds like anxiety to me. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I wouldn't call it anxiety. It's more like... I remember
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  Speaker 1: when I used to run cross-country, believe it or not,
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  Speaker 1: just before the race, like in the last... 20 seconds
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  Speaker 1: before the go, I would be sick. I would be
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  Speaker 1: physically ill with the feeling of, okay, I've got to
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  Speaker 1: get it together, give everything I've got, and it's going
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  Speaker 1: to hurt, and blah, blah, blah. But then the minute
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  Speaker 1: go happened, loved it. I was so excited and happy.
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  Speaker 1: It was my favorite thing in the world to compete. Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: but that, yeah, that shallow breathing thing, I've never tried
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  Speaker 1: it for like a mood. But she says, gradually, these
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  Speaker 1: practices train your brain to stress less about what could
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  Speaker 1: go wrong and focus more on the present moment. It
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  Speaker 1: becomes a habit. It improves mood and lowers stress, according
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  Speaker 1: to a researcher. Five minutes a day of breath work
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  Speaker 1: becomes a habit. It's sort of a meditation, isn't it?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like it.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, breathe in, breathe out. And then finally, and Jack
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  Speaker 1: is big on this. I kind of wish he was
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  Speaker 1: here for this one. List the good things. Gratitude. Gratitude lists. Oh,
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  Speaker 1: my God, is this a good one? Whether it's about
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  Speaker 1: your life or people who may or may not occasionally
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  Speaker 1: be a pain in the ass, you start listing their
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  Speaker 1: positive qualities and the way they bring you joy or whatever. And, oh,
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  Speaker 1: my God, the crappy stuff just shrinks. It shrinks and
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  Speaker 1: it shrinks and it shrinks. It's really amazing.
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  Speaker 2: I think that's one of my favorite ones on this list,
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  Speaker 2: for sure.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Super powerful. And then she
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  Speaker 1: says she also makes a point of expressing appreciation of
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  Speaker 1: the people in her life and thinking about experiences she's
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  Speaker 1: having with them, which, you know, depends on you. Maybe
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  Speaker 1: you're not super touchy-feely, but says, finally, it's literally stopping
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  Speaker 1: and smelling the roses. When I'm eating, focusing on how
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  Speaker 1: good it tastes and how happy I feel, enjoying music,
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  Speaker 1: sometimes it's really simple. Be in the moment.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: If anybody says touch grass right now, I'm going to
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  Speaker 1: touch you.
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  Speaker 2: All right.
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  Speaker 1: Hello. That comes from a guy who just likes to
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  Speaker 1: sit up back and watch the birds fly back and forth.
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  Speaker 1: So I hope everybody's feeling more happy and relaxed. We'll
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  Speaker 1: post this article in hot links, uh, Armstrong and Getty, uh,
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  Speaker 1: dot com. I will zap it to you right away, Katie.
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  Speaker 2: Fantastic.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: Do a gratitude list.
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  Speaker 1: Those are great. But don't bother to target clerk with
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  Speaker 1: your problems with your relatives. They don't want to hear it. Well,
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  Speaker 1: I guess that's it.