Latest / Scam Goddess / Rent-A-Hitman Dot Con with Jamie Lee (Fraud Friday)

Transcript

Rent-A-Hitman Dot Con with Jamie Lee (Fraud Friday) · Scam Goddess

• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Goddess what's popping congregation it's your girl Lacey Mosley aka
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: scam goddess back with another installment of yes you know
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: it scam goddess and guys I'm very what yes excited
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Am I I'm gonna have to switch this up it's
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: been like a year and a half are y'all tired
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: of me probably um But guys, I am super excited
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: because we have a.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Poppin' guest today. She's a comedian. You know her from
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: things like Girl Code, Crashing.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: But also, she was in the room in Ted Lasso, girl,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: writing them jokes up.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: And it was very cute.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: And guys, she has a new show coming out on
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Netflix April 7th, guys, called The Wedding Coach. And you
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: all need to get into this show. I'm really excited
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: to watch it.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Guys, we have Jamie Lee.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Hi.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Hi, Jamie.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy to have you. I'm so happy to
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: be here.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Can I talk a little bit, hold on, this background
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: that you have, is that wallpaper or did you paint that?
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, so. I think it's the side. No, I mean
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: deepest side.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: Okay, because I am so not a decorator and I'm
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: staying in this like fully furnished corporate housing apartment right
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: now in New York. And so they did this wall
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: and for the listeners, it's like, gray and white striped.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: And it's just very, a very deliberate accent wall.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: And it's like the coolest zoom background I could ever
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: think of because I, I just don't, I'm not a
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: good decorator. So I'm like, Oh, this makes people think
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: that I Have my shit together.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: It's great. I love it. Yes, it's popping. I'm not
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: a good decorator either.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I went to Target and Marchelet and quickly threw together
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: a Zoom background because I was like, oh, it's been
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: a year.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: I can't just pod from my couch anymore. I know.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Now you have to like think about what's behind you.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: You have to think about the frame.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: It's overwhelming. Right. It's too much, honestly.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Like, for any actors out there, this shit is a
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: damn scam. Before, when I was auditioning for shit, they were, like,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: sending me, like.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: 14 pages of five different scenes and shit. I was like,
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: so you want me to shoot the TV show? Like,
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: come on now.
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: In my apartment? Okay. In your apartment. Can you, yeah. Apparently,
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I'm an actor and a producer and a director.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: And they're so specific, too. They're like, okay, we want
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: to see this part of your body. Make sure the
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: walls turn the camera that way.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah you're like you yeah you're like thank
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: you but I'm pretty sure like I didn't even get
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: the job yet so I'm just like working for free
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: this is insane I'm not your intern yeah I've.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Had people be like so do you have any roommates
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: who are actors and I'm like no I love them
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: all you want me to hire.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: People now yes they're like can you do the casting
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: for us we're tapped out we don't have anyone left
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: would you mind.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Just to see who's around Go in the hallway and
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: find us some people. Yeah, exactly.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: You're like, I don't work for you. Jamie, do you
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: have any relationship with scams? Like, have you ever been scammed?
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Do you like scams? What's your vibe?
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm anti-scam. Hot take. I like that. I like that.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm anti-getting scammed.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: I probably am, like, in a weird sort of masochistic way, pro-scam.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Like, it's interesting to me.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Um hence loving this podcast but i i was scammed.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Um i i was on on the receiving end of.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: A classic craigslist scam no where yeah i mean that's
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: the og um yeah i basically okay so i it's
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: this is a very i sound like this is gonna
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: be a very long story it's actually quite short i
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: had An apartment on the Upper East Side with roommates
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: when I was in my 20s. And there were just
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: like a couple of things that were going on in
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: the apartment that were super weird. Like one day the
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: toilet seat was up in our downstairs bathroom with like
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: pee in it. And like there were no men who
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: lived in the apartment. It was just like three girls.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: And we're like.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: What is that from and like no one had a
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: boyfriend over like we were all just like why is
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: the toilet sit up and yeah and we were just
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: kind of like weirded out by that and then there
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: was another day where like my roommate's towel was like
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: balled up and soaking wet in the corner of the
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: bathroom and she was like did you do that and
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: I was like no and then the other roommate was
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: like of course not no one's like throwing your towel
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: on the ground and so we thought we had a
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: ghost and so as kind of as a ghost yeah
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: we thought we had a ghost and like almost like
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: kind of a bit with each other but not we
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: found this person on craigslist who um claimed to like
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: come to your house and it was like a ghost
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: hunter show and they were looking for people to be
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: on it and i applied and they were like we're
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: coming over so we so we ended up having this
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: person say like yeah we want to like have you
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: on our reality show and we're going to come to
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: your house and And like film you and talk about
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: the ghost and like do a whole assessment.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Like like a Ghostbuster. Right.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: And the strange thing was, I don't know what they
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: were getting out of the scam because they just kept
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: standing us up. So we would be waiting for them
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: to come over and they're supposed to come over like
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: 6 p.m. And then. 6.30, 7, 8 would roll around
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: and they just weren't showing up. And so then we
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: would email them and we're like, hey, what ended up happening?
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: They're like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. We're coming tomorrow night.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: And they just kept not showing up and we kept
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: falling for it.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: And that is- Did they take money from you? No, nothing.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I was like, what is this?
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: You're like pretending to be a Ghostbuster, but you're not
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: gaining anything, but just like like kind of fucking with
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: people's time. I don't understand what you're getting out of this.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: But anyways, I felt very scammed.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Maybe it was kids, you know, and they were just
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: having a fun trolling or something.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Maybe. The emails were quite sophisticated.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Like they knew sort of like the ins and outs
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: of production to a degree. So I was like, okay,
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: like this sounds like maybe it's for a TLC show
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: or like whatever other channel was doing reality back then.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: So yeah, anyways, I don't know what ended up happening, but...
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: That's so funny to me.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: I wish they would have showed up literally with like
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: no cameras, just doing that like director thing with their hand.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Now stand over there next to the wall. It's just
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: like a long troll. You're like face the corner. You're like,
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: oh no, it's Blair Witch. Um, yeah. So yeah. I
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: want to know why they were doing this.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: This is so unfinished to me. I wish that they
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: had come or at least tried to, you know, spray something.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: I would have come.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: I feel like ghost extermination is such a great profession.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: How are you going to tell me I can get
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: rid of the ghost?
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: How do you don't know? You know? Yeah. You don't know.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: It's actually, yeah, you're right.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: And you could totally be like, I, I, I purged
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: your house of the spirit.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Like you owe me $ 200. And I'd be like, Well,
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: I can't really contest that.
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: I mean, I guess if like the pee doesn't show
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: up in the toilet with the seat up, that means
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: the ghost is gone.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't know.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: It was just that whole apartment was kind of cursed.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: I also fell down the stairs at one point.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: And yeah, it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: It's funny because psychics like to do that too. But
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: they'll like, you have a curse on you and it's
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: going to cost $ 500.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: To lift it. And if you don't lift it, then
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: your mama gonna die. Yeah.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: So guys, let's get into our first segment. What's hot
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: and fraud? I love this dog. Jamie's got a big
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: dog in the background. What kind of, it's a Labradoodle?
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: There's two.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: There's a Labradoodle and then this like schnauzer poodle mix
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: that we rescued from China.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, from China.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Right before the pandemic. He survived two pandemics.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: He's incredible.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: We love it. They're very noisy. Yeah. He's a survivor.
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: So, guys, let's get into our first segment, What's Hot
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: and Fraud? This is where we warn our listeners about
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: popping scams in the street. As always, you can email
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: scamgoddesspod at gmail.com. Just don't snitch on your friends and
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: family before the scam is retired. We don't want to
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: fuck up your bag. But, guys, today— oh, Jamie, I need
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: a fake name. We don't care about gender on here.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Ooh, okay.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: Danica.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Danica. Danica. Okay.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: So Danica says, I was scammed and rightfully so. This
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: is what optimism gets you when you're trying to buy
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: psychedelics on Instagram.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Okay. Okay. My dogs barked at that. They're like, we're listening. Psychedelics.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: So it says, I've been going to therapy and my
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: therapist recommended I look into microdosing.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: I've never had a therapist.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: Okay. Me neither. Okay. I've never had a therapist be like,
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: and how does that make you feel? Okay, okay. Have
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: you tried shrooms? Right.
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: Have you tried staring at the wall and envisioning a portal? Right.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Because I think that could really help with your self-esteem issue.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wow.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: I guess I have.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: Heard of microdosing being a thing people are doing, obviously. But, yeah,
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: I've never heard of a therapist prescribing it in that way.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: That is new to me. Right. Yeah.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: Like, I'm like, is your therapist also a scam? Because
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: I've just never had someone be like, you know, these
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: issues with your father, they're really making me think of LSD.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Right, right. Have you tried tripping? You're like, wait, what?
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: Have you tried crack? Okay.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I know they say it's whack, but honestly, in moderation,
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: crack is very energizing.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like, actually, crack has gotten a really bad reputation,
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: but there are a lot of things you can do
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: with it besides lose your home and your family.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Right. Cool, cool. Okay. Just don't get out of control.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: A little crack every Tuesday. Yeah, micro crack. Micro crack. Yeah,
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: no big deal. No big deal. MBD.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: So Danica's listening to her therapist. She thought, the therapist said,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I thought that you would like shrooms. But Danica said
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: that they're pretty hard to find. So I'm going to
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: have to try to figure it out. So Danica decides
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: to look on the gram. She says, I have plenty
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: of pleasant interactions and made plenty of legitimate purchases. So
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: this can't be much different buying some mushrooms. So after
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: little to no research, I found a now deleted account
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: that or maybe it blocked me called Silo Delic.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: Wait, can I say one thing really quick? I was
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: thinking about this therapist. Sorry, I'm not I can't get
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: past this. If you are a therapist recommending mushrooms to
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: your clients, you.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: Better have a guy here. Call James. That's a good point, Jamie. Like,
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: send me on a wild goose chase. Exactly. I was
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: just so stressed as you were talking about this.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: I'm like, wait, why didn't he help her find them?
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: Like, doesn't he know someone? You are right about that.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: You're the therapist.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: If you prescribe it, you can't give me a script
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: or at least an alley to go to?
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Make a connection. Introduce over email. Like, something.
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: A formal introduction from your therapist to their drug dealer. Yeah, something.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's wild to make somebody go out and hunt
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: for themselves to find mushrooms.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Yeah, loop us in. Loop
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: us in. At least point them to a neighborhood. Like,
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: they got a lot of Silver Lake. You're right. You're
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: right about that. So, Psylodelic is the name of the
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Instagram site. And it's spelled.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: P-S-I-L-O dot D-E-L-I-C.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Allegedly, they maybe sell mushrooms. Let's see.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: But I don't know if the page is, they don't
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: know if it blocked them or if they deleted the page.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: So it says, I messaged them and they wanted to
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: sell me 10 bags of shroom gummies. I talked them
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: down to two for $ 130. They talked me back up
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: to five total spent $ 325.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Okay. Right. After the people at the agency in quotes
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: said they don't deal in small quantities. So fuck it.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I've come this far. I'm in right. You got a
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: fake prescription from your therapist. Fine.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: So it says I sent all this money through cash app. Ooh,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: that's a big scam app.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Okay. Cash app is for crime. When it's crime time,
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: cash app. I hope to have an ad one day.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: It's just me like when it's crime time. Police on
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: your back. Cash app. You know, I got it.
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: I don't know much about cash app, but yeah, this
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: whole this whole thing is stressing me out.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: OK, keep going.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: So it says then the person tells me they need
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: another hundred fifty dollars for insurance, but it's fully refundable.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: They say insurance for what?
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry. Drug insurance. What are we talking about? That's
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: like drug receipts. I've never got bought some illegal drugs.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: And I was like, thank you. Come again. Here's the
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: whole point is like there's no trail. Like, well, what
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: are we? Yeah, I don't even understand that.
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: What are you ensuring that it works? Right. Or are
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: you going to ensure the package?
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Because I'm pretty sure you can't call USPS and be like,
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: somebody lost my box of shrooms and it's worth.
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like you're making an under the table
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: deal very over the table. And I don't see how
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: that's good for either party.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: Right. It's a little weird. So they say it's fully refundable, which, honey, okay.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: So whatever. I bite.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: At this point, Danica's like, I'm down the rabbit hole.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get these shrooms gummies.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: The goods should arrive in 24 hours, they say. Ten
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: minutes later, I get another message asking for one more thing. Oh,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: my God, no. One more thing. One more thing.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Since you already gave us the insurance money, I need
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: $ 50 for gas.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Okay. Okay. Wow. Okay. Gas is high. Gas is high.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: But I am confusion because is this gas like you
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: need to drive out to the woods to pick the shrooms?
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Or this is gas to go to the post office?
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Or are you going to drive the shrooms to me?
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: I am confusion. Also, you got the $ 150 deposit. You
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: can't use the deposit to get the gas? Yeah, what
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: was the deposit for?
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: And then also it's like if this is really how
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: you like, let's just like give them the benefit of
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: the doubt and say this is how they do business.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: Like you should just be really clear in what the
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: money is for. Like I need this for this. I
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: need $ 50 for this. You should just say it all
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: up front and like you'll sound way more legit.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Also, drugs are never something that are prepaid. Like you
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: may definitely not on a phone. You can prepay, you know,
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: when you're right.
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: This isn't like your rent. Like, yeah, you're not. This
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: is not like you and your landlord with like a deposit.
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: Like you'll get this back at the end of the year.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Like, what are we talking about? What are you talking about?
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: Talking about i don't need it like yeah you're absolutely
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: right about that like what in what case would i
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: not get the deposit back is my question like what
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: would i have to do for them to be like
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: well we got to keep your deposit on the drugs
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: what but also.
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: The whole point of getting like i have dealing with
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: a drug dealer is like they just like give you
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: the stuff like there are no strings like the whole
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: point is you're signing up for no strings and now
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: this person seems to have a lot of strings i
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: don't know i just yeah i don't right.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Like i gotta send in a rebate i hate it
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: yeah you made some scams they'd be like if you
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: mail this it's like i don't have enough time.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: To mail this and they know that i don't want
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: to do stamps no.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: Drug rebates this is a lot i i watch the
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: wire i'm supposed to come to the corner we do
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: a handshake i got the money you got the drug
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: exactly i leave yeah it's quick.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: And dirty like let's just do it and get out
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: But I believe, you know, Instagram has, because it's become
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: this marketplace and they sell so many things, I think
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: people have become really comfortable with purchasing things on Instagram.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Now they have a whole purchase button on there where
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: it's like, come here, buy something.
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah. The little like purse icon that they send to you. Like, yeah,
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: they're like, you can have friends and new clothes.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: You're like, okay, thanks for caring. Instagram's such a big Amazon.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: This is a lot. Yeah. Yeah. I don't need this
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: from you. So this is when I realized Danica said
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: that I had been scammed. Okay, baby, it was a
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: little late.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: I would have probably realized at the deposit, you know,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: area that you had been scammed, but okay. So despite
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: the person repeatedly assuring me that they were legit, a
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: world where you cannot trust drug dealers on Instagram is
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: not a world I want to live in.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: Amen.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Amen.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: I don't want to live in that either, Danica. I'm
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: so sorry that that happened to you. They should have
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: gave you the drugs. Or at least give you your
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: deposit back. We're going to take a quick break for
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: some non-scam advertisements. We'll be right back with historic hoodwinks. Scams!
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: And we are back, and it's time for my favorite
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: segment of the show, Historic Hoodwinks.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: This is when I will regale Jamie with a famous
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: con caper, con artiste group of criminals. Who knows? Maybe
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: we love them. Maybe we hate them.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: We'll see, and we'll get her opinions all throughout. So
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: today we're talking about Bob Ennis of Northern California.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: Whoop, whoop. Shout out to Cali. Who runs a website
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: called rentahitman.com.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: I love this, Jamie, because you already told the story
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: of like going on Craigslist to try to find the Ghostbusters.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: And unfortunately, Leslie Jones did not pull up to your
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: place and eradicate what is surely a male ghost because
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: they're leaving the toilet seat up and the towel wet
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: and shit.
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: Right. Even even even as as vapor, he still has
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: to put the at least he's a considerate ghost.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, that was really the takeaway. At least he cares. Anyways.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: But my thing is, is like.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: I don't think men should even be allowed to be ghosts.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Y'all haunt us enough when y'all alive. Like, y'all don't
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: get to haunt us when you're dead. Y'all got to
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: go away.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: Like, what?
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: You guys ghost us when you're alive and then you
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: keep ghosting us when you're dead.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: Right. It's like, you've done enough ghosting while you were here.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: Too much ghosting.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: We don't need that.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Casper was the only male ghost I fucked with. And
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: even him after a while.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: I was like, Casper, go home. Yeah, he was a
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: little needy. He was needy as fuck.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: He was like, let me go to the dance with you, girl.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: No, so I can dance with Aaron, look crazy. Like,
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: get out of here, Casper. He was clingy as fuck.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Show up like regular ghosts at night and do the ooh, boo,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: and get out.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Right. Cheat over the head with the eye holes. Like,
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: just keep it classic, ghosts. Right. We don't need this, like,
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: you want to go to events now, ghosts? Like, come
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: on now. I got to get a plus one for
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: your ghost ass?
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: No.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: So rentahitman.com, which is a very straightforward URL. And I
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: appreciate that. Yeah, at least they get straight to it. Yeah,
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: I do too. I do too. There's really, there's nothing
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: left to the imagination there. Number one on Google. You know,
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: I put in hitman, rentahitman's right there. There we go.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: And I love that it's rentahitman. Like you can't buy one,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: but you can rent one for a few hours.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, on lease.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: So he started it with a college friend in 2005
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: as an IT help site. but it quickly took on
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: a life of its own. The Renta Hitman site became
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: an accidental murder-for-hire sting operation. Okay, I don't know if
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: it was accidental. You did call it basically like murder-your-enemies.com.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not really a business you fall into. Right.
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like you either initiate it or it
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: doesn't happen.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: It's not like, oops, I'm a hitman. Oops, I'm a hitman.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: That's where I went, my brain. Free Brent name. So
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: how it started.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: It started with an IT help website and a cheeky
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: domain name. So they thought they were being funny with Brentahitman.com,
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: which I don't. This man, Bob, has to be white
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: because no black person would ever think it was funny
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: to name a website URL like.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: Crime.com. I love him defending it. He's like, it's not
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: like funny. Ha ha. It's like, no, man, it's just,
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: it's just not funny.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: You made a website called murderyourwife.com and then was like,
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: oh my God, people keep coming over here talking about
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: they want their wife murdered.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: It's so bizarre.
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: You're like women get killed by their spouses all the time.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: He's like, I didn't know that.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: So rent implied hire and hit refers to website clicks
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: or visitor traffic and analytics. And man implied the team
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: of professionals behind the site. A few buddies who'd recently
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: graduated from a California business school with it degrees. I
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: love how they define the whole name. They're like rent.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: It was just like us being like, we going to
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: help y'all out.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: It's a service.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: And then hit is like clicks on a website. It's like,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: We were supposed to do all that math?
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: No.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: Nobody's thinking about that. So Bob registered a domain in
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: 2005 with the... tagline, your point and click solution.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: That still sounds like a hit man to me. You
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: point the gun. You click the trigger. You click it. Yup.
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: Yup.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Yup. He's like, no, no, no, no. We're talking about
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: a mouse. I'm like, I don't know. This is America.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Seems like you're talking about a gun.
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah. It sounds a little gunny to me.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: So the website also says, got a problem that needs solving?
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: With over 17,985 US-based field operatives, we can find a
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: solution that's right for you. So you just said you
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: had 17,000 murderers.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: To me, I don't... Right. Field operatives. Yeah. That's also
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: hella vague.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Like, you could have said IT technicians at that point.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: You already got Ren and Hitman as your domain.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Like.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: Exactly. Yeah. This is, yeah. It sounds like murder to me. Yeah,
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: it sounds very much so like murder.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, so it sat on the website collecting dust until
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Bob decided to check the website's email address one day
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: in 2008. Bob said, this is when things got really ugly.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Over the three years, the website sat idle. The domain
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: received multiple inquiries from people looking to hire hitmen and
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: not the kind that get your website clicks.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Duh. Oh, yeah. Okay.
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Okay.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: I don't understand. They was like, crime.com. And then they
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: were like, oh, my God, people keep coming here to
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: do crime. It's so bizarre.
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: Like, what do they think we do? Guys, this is
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: exactly what was going to happen. Everything is exactly as
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: it should be.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: So Bob said, for clarification, I am not a hitman. Yeah,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: you really did need to clear that up because right now, Bob,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I thought you was a hitman. I'm thinking you are.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: So it says, I simply play the part of a
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: matchmaker between the solicitor and field operatives.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Still sounds like you might be coordinating hits.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: Oh my God. Yeah. So using the alias Guido Finelli,
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: Bob responded to- Guido finale. Bob, you a murderer. I
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: don't like none of this. Guido finale.
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: That is so, yeah, it sounds so mobster. Like everything
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: is just very hit man.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: How is this man trying to play?
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: You sound like a soprano and they killed lots of people.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: Under the alias Scarface and under the email, say hello
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: to my little friend. Like what? Bob, you a criminal.
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: So Bob responded to- I feel like he's definitely like
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: decapitated some horses and put them in the bed.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: Right. But that's a very chill intimidation. Yeah. I think so, too. Yeah, subtle, subtle.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Subtle intimidation. You know, a little horse head here and there.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Ain't nothing wrong with that. It never hurt nobody. So
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Bob will respond to these requests, furthering details so a
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: field operative, in quotes, could be assigned the case.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: The clients. The first hit was from a woman by
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: the name of Helen. She was out of the UK
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: but stranded in Canada. She'd written a long letter rambling.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Emails saying how she was screwed out of her father's
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: inheritance by three family members. She had no money and
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: no place to live. She was stranded in Canada without
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: a passport, so she can't even leave. She wanted retaliation
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: against her aunt, uncle, and one other family member and
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: provided a physical address.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: Okay, so here's my thing. You ain't got no money, Helen.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: You ain't got no passport, honey. But you got coins
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: for murder? Because last time I checked, murder was not free.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: I don't heard of pro bono murder.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: No, there is not. That's not how it works. And
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: what I know about murder, that's not usually how it goes.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: I don't even think you can barter for murder. It's like, look,
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: I have a peach tree.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: So if y'all want these peaches in exchange for murdering
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: my three relatives, like, I don't think you can do
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: a bartering system.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: Like, honey, you need money.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: So Bob said, when I first received the email, I
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: was helping my brother move from LA back up here
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: to the Bay Area. So I was loading a U-Haul
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: truck full of his belongings. I didn't really take time
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: to read the email in depth. I just thought it
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: was a troubled person and really didn't give it much thought.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: Um, Bob? Hmm.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: She said she wanted you to murder her uncle. You
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: know what's funny? She got cut out of the inheritance.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: She's not going to get the inheritance it looks like
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: even if they die. But she's like, I need revenge.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, poor Helen. Poor Helen.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: TV revenge always makes me laugh, though, because it's like,
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: what do you really get out of revenge?
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: Nothing. Yeah, it feels maybe great for five seconds, and
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: then the rest of your life, you're the person who
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: got revenge, and you're going to go to jail.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: Right. So then she sends a second email titled, Urgent. Okay, SOS. Right.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: I need these people killed ASAP.
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: ASAP.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: In the subject line with more detail and more cooperating information.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: And I responded to the email, this is Bob talking,
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: and asked two simple questions. Do you still require services?
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: And would you like me to put you in contact
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: with the field operatives? Okay, so you're.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Being hella vague as well. I would still think that
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Bob is... Bob, what's your angle? Yeah, what is it?
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: I need to know. It's so confusing. Okay.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: So, I'm confused. So, in quotes, Bob says, I have
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: all these thoughts going through my head. What am I
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: getting myself into, Helen? You know, this lady is serious.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: I need to go.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Home and start Googling and researching this. So this is
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: also Bob talking. He's like, what am I getting myself into?
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: This lady really wants murder to happen. I need to
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: go home and start Googling and research.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: Do you need to Google? I feel like you could
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: just be like, no, we don't do murders. Yeah.
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: Thanks for your inquiry. But that's not what we do.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, we- Like, just shut it down, Bob.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: Just shut it down. Bob. Like, Bob is a scammer.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: So Bob says, Yeah.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: They did a welfare check on the person to make
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: sure that she was okay. And during the course of
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: their investigation, they found out that she wanted out of
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: the UK on extradition warrants for serious charges. So basically,
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: they did a welfare check on her in Canada and
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: found out that the UK was like, hey, can you
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: actually bring Helen back here?
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Can y'all drop her off? Because we need to put
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: her in the clink. Yes. Which makes sense. Helen seems
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: like a criminal.
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, also, like, staying at a hostel in Canada, like,
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: that just sounds suspicious.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: It sounds suspect. Am I correct?
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Because it's one thing if you're in a hostel
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: because you're, like, backpacking, you know, after college. But then
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: I feel like any other reason to be at a
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: hostel is just shady.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: Right, and she's fully.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: There on some shady shit because she was like, I'm
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: trying to murder my relatives.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Which is a lot, especially because, like, okay, you already
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: didn't get inheritance, so now you got to come out
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: of pocket on they murders as well?
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Like, that's a lot. Yeah, it's, yeah. Yeah, it's bad.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: It's bad, bad. Right.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: Ellen.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: Like, I just don't want to be indebted. Like, I
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: don't want to go on Experian.com and they're like, girl,
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: you never paid for these murders and now it's done,
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: hit your credit. So.
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the thing. It's like the revenge element. It's
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: such a huge cost.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Sequoia Financial is calling about these overdue murder bills that.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: You need to pay. Like, girl... Oh, my God.
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: Think we all prefer not going to jail yeah yeah.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: A little little little thing a little quirk about me
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: and my personality I hate jail it's so weird but
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: I'm just like not a jail person like I know.
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: I'm the type of person who doesn't love being behind
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: bars that's just me that's just a me thing.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: Like some people I get it but like for me
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: it's just like oh you know what I mean.
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah I'm weird like that it just doesn't gel
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: with me but for other people great great for you Right.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: So had Wendy been paying attention, she would have noticed
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: a few red flags that the site was not real.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: For example, website's HIPAA compliance badge is on the site.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: HIPAA is known as the.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996. It outlaws
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: the lawful use and disclosure of protected health information. But
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: the website actually says, HIPPA stands for Hitman Information Privacy
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: and Protection of 1964.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: So if she had.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Known anything about laws, she would have known there's no
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Hitman Protection Act.
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: No.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: The government was never like, when you ask for a hitman, that's.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: Between you and your hitman, okay?
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that is the craziest shit I've ever heard. If
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: you have pre-existing conditions for wanting to murder, that's between
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: you and your hitman, okay?
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: They cannot disclose that.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she should have known. So that's not a real thing, obviously.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: The website also offered group and senior discounts.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Wow. The early bird special.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: If you're trying to kill somebody old, you should get
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: a discount, though. They're not moving this fast.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: That's an easier murder.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like, we kill them between 4 and 6 p.m.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: the same time Luby's has their happy hour or whatever.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: Their old person happy hour.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Right after they left the Luby's buffet, we got their ass.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: They still had Jell-O on their lips. The green kind.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: So Bob said, I really didn't think that people were
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: going to be that stupid. Boy, did they show me.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: Bob, he alerted the authorities who placed her under arrest.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: She was charged with solicitation to commit murder and illegal
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: use of a computer to commit a crime and is
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: currently awaiting trial.
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: Guys, if you want to do crime, if you really
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: feel like it's crime time, Google is not your friend
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: for this.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: Don't Google hit man.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: You got to just have friends.
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: Don't involve your computer at all. That should just be
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: word of mouth. It's a paper trail. Yeah, you cannot.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there's no, there's, if you do anything on the
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: internet related to your hit, like, it will be found.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: Just a hot tip. Right. Just a little secret, guys.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: Lean in close. If you want to get a hit, man,
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: don't Google it.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: No.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: You can't involve Google. Right. It's like, also, like, you
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: probably just got to do the hit yourself.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like you just have to take this
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: one into your own hands. If you really, like, there's just, yeah,
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: you can't outsource your murder. is, I think, the moral
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: of this story. Like, if you're going to murder, you
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: just have to suck it up and murder. But I
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: really hope you just don't murder. But if you really must,
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: I feel like you have to do it.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: It's like, you can't farm this out. And also, like, murder,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: not that tight, guys. Like, not that cool.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: No, it's kind of bad. Yeah, guys, we have another
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: hot take. We're not pro. We're actually against murder. Anti-murder.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: We hate jail and we hate murder. But that's just, like,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: a little quirk about us.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like we're kind of weird like that, guys.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: So, you know, don't Google murder.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: So today, Bob keeps a spreadsheet of the requests that
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: he's received, about 350 requests on that spreadsheet. Not all
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: of them are murder for hire. Some of them are
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: just people looking for assisted suicide options. Some of them
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: are clearly hoaxes where they're trying to prank their friend.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: And some of them are for people who are seeking employment.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: As a hitman. Yeah, I don't. What does that mean?
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: Seeking employment?
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: I went on Indeed.com and I was like, I'm a
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: hit man looking for work. Here's my cover letter. I'm
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: very proficient in murders. I have great attention to detail.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: So said murders will not be discovered. What's a good
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: resume for a hit man?
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: Right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I don't understand. I don't understand
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: the employment part. I'm unremarkable. Nobody ever remembers what I
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: look like.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: They're trying to be a hit man that you can rent.
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they are. I'm confusion.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: And so basically out of 350 people, about 10% of
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: these people are from or these emails are from people
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: who want to cause harm to someone else. That's actually
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: pretty low for rentahitman.com. And of those 10%, Bob asked
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: the same two questions he always does. Do you still
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: require our services? And would you like me to place
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: you in contact with a field operative? If he never
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: hears back from them, he assumes that they figured it out.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: The website is still up and available. Can we click
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: on the rentahitman.com website? I just want to see.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: Oh, I got to see. What's happening here. So we're
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: about to look at rentahitman.com. So pumped. I am so,
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: my body is ready.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: Because I'm just like, how do these people not know? Okay,
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: so we're at a hitman.com. They got a cookie policy.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: It says, your privacy is important to us. In order
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: to maintain 100% compliance with HIPAA, Hitman Information Privacy and
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Protection Act of 1964, we must use.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: So it says accept and close. Don't accept that. No,
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: don't accept. Don't accept.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: You gonna have the feds knocking at our door like, hello?
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: Hello?
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: This is a very, very, like, lo-fi basic website, and
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: I'm not surprised.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: It definitely is.
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: There's nothing to zhuzh it up. There's no artwork. It's
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: just text, and that's exactly what I thought it would be.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: Right. They don't got no stock photos of satisfied murder customers. Nope.
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: Oh, wait.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: Here's some photos. Here's some photos.
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: Oh, okay. Hold on. OK, one says global crisis management
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: and there's a picture of the globe and then there's
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: something that service inquiries and it's a man's blurry face,
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: which is also very suspicious.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: And it's also the kind of man who looks like
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: he would be in celly or like try to shoot
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: something up.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: Definitely. Oh, here we go. Guido Finelli and family. Growing
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: list of satisfied clients. Really?
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, so Guido Finale, let's pause here. It says, and
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: family have operated RAH, rent a hitman, continuously since 1920
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: and have proudly served both public and private sectors.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: So they're saying they also do hits for the government?
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: I mean... This does not look.
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: Like a government official website in any way. So I
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: don't know what they mean by that. I mean, the
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: government websites have been looking pretty jank these days.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's true, actually. You're right. They're not great. That's true.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: That's true. They don't have great web designers in the government.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: It says the RH family is consistently growing every day
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: to keep up with the global market needs.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: For murder? Like, this is all so vague.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: Want to join? People across the globe want to murder people.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: It's international. Would you believe it? Every country has people
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: who need to be murdered. Every country has people who
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: are terrible. Yeah, exactly.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: The supply is birth and the demand is murder. It says,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: want to join the RAH family? Use our web form
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: to contact us and be sure to include a portrait
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: headshot and any list of special skills you may have.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: Blood, breath, or urine testing may be required depending on
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: your geographic locations.
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: Um....
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: So if you're a hitman, they basically like you can't
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: smoke weed.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't know what. Also, I don't know.
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: About you, but just seeing this the this sentence that
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: says blood, comma, breath or urine, like just that sentence
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: is so creepy to me, like blood, breath or urine.
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: I don't know why that I just find that to
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: be a jarring combination of words.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just such a bodily sentence. Yeah, I just
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: am creeped out.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: How are you going to test my breath? Like I
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: breathe into something and mail it to you?
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: I was wondering that.
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: I was like, wait, the other two I get because
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: there's vials of it.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: But breath. Yeah. It's like back to the ghost.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: It's just there's nothing there.
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: It's just an absence of something. Right.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: It says RAH guarantees 100% satisfaction or your money back.
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: Wow. I'm sure. This is such a.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: This is a setup site for people who want to
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: get murders done. It says customer and service industry awards.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: I got awards for murder.
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: Okay, this is so funny. These awards, you guys, they
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: look like lava lamps.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: They do.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: These aren't real awards. It looks like a flame. What
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: is this? It's like lava lamp meets like sperm. It
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: has like a little tail. I don't understand what is happening.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: Those are the craziest looking awards. RAH prides itself on
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: exceptional customer service and satisfaction. We are proud to be
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: globally recognized as a leader in our industry.
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: The murder industry.
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: I mean, also all of the way they're taught, there's
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: so much text and they're not saying anything.
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: Like, you know what I mean? It's like such filler.
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: There's just no information at all.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: This is a troll site because otherwise.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Like if they were really doing the whole clicks thing
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: that they promised, like there would be something about some
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: damn clicks.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: It says business is booming. Hold on. Go back down, Judith.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: It says business is booming and we have a special
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: group and senior discount packages available.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: Packages?
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: To find out if you qualify, simply submit your service
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: request form and a field operative will contact you shortly.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, wow. And scroll up.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: It says we are still open during the COVID-19. COVID
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: does not stop murderers.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Rain or shine, we will do it. Rain, shine,
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: or pandemic. Right. We got PPE. One breath of urine.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: We will do it. We got plenty of PPE for
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: these murders, okay? Oh, my God. Don't worry.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: You're not going to get COVID while we're doing the murders.
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: What? Oh, God.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: Wow. This site is.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: go to rentahitman.com. Now, don't accept the cookies because the
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: government might find you.
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: It almost makes me think, okay, just really quick, the
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: fact that the thing that says we are still open
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: during the COVID, it's like the biggest part of the website.
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: It's huge to the point where I'm like, do you
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: have someone who has COVID and that's how they're killing people? Like,
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: they're going to like, have their COVID friend like go
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: around someone and then that's how they're going to like
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: take them down.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: Do some strategic coughs, lick up your doorknobs. Exactly. Exactly.
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah. It's like, I feel like that's a strategy for them,
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: for them to even care about the pandemic is surprising
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: to me.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: Also, if you're a website that is like doing like
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: boosting for other pages and clicks and hits, that's all
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: done remote.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: Whether we were in a pandemic or not. Absolutely.
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: Y'all doing in-person stuff? I guess the murders. Yeah, you
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: can't do Zoom murders. Unfortunately, they do it in person.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: They don't work. It's really hard to kill someone over Zoom.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't... Bob, you seem a little suspect to me.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know what your motivations are, Bob, but... I'm
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: not into it. I'm not into you, Bob.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know what you're doing. No, not a Bob fan.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: But guys, we're going to take a quick break for
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: some non-scam, non-hitman advertisements.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: And we'll be right back for the end of the show.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Robbery!
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Guys, we're back for Scammer of the Week. This is
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: where we'll highlight one famous charlatan that is worthy of
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: our praise or not.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: We'll figure it out as we go.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: This Scammer of the Week this week is a Twitter
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: famous biker known as at Azusa Gakuyuki. And they're actually
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: revealed to be a 50-year-old old man using FaceApp on
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: his phone.
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: Let's get a picture up for Jamie so that she
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: can see. Definitely need a visual for this one.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: This 50-year-old man who actually is very handsome is photoshopping
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: his face to look like a woman. And he has
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: really long hair. And he's photoshopping his face to look
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: like a woman on this bike.
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay. And FaceApp is a scam. Yes, yes.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: FaceApp is 100% a scam.
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: Facetune, FaceApp, it's so creepy what you can do to
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: alter your appearance.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: Right. And look, I have the apps. I try not to.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: I like to whiten my eyes sometimes if I'm tired.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: That's what I do. I whiten teeth and eyes sometimes.
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: But you still need to look like yourself.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: And like, look, have I gotten drunk and edited a
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: photo too much and had to delete it?
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: But, you know, guys, when you're looking at celebrities on
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Insta or you're looking at the Kardashians, you're never really
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: seeing what they actually look like.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: There's so much face app. There's so much filtering. So
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: that's a scam, too.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: Don't think that you need to try to aspire to
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: look like anybody on Instagram because they don't even look
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: like that.
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: Oh, I love calling that a scam. That's like, I
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: don't know. That brings me comfort to refer to that
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: as a scam.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: It is 100% a scam. It is.
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Because the girls love to be like, oh, I put
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: on this waist trainer and now I have like the
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: waist the size of like when you put your index
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: finger and your thumb together.
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: You're like, it's a corset. You're wearing a corset. Like
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: women have fought to not have to wear corsets.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: Don't go backwards. Come on, ladies.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Move them bones around for sexy. So she was known
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: to thousands on Twitter followers as a beautiful biker documenting
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: her life in Japan until recently when the true identity
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: of this young woman was revealed. He was exposed on
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: Monday Late Show, a popular Japanese variety show where hosts
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: discuss the hottest and wackiest topics across the country. The
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: production team had apparently tracked the biker down and found,
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: instead of a bright-eyed young woman, an almost equally bright-eyed
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: middle-aged man. The unnamed 50-year-old admitted at the show that
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: he uses FaceApp, the photo editing tool that drastically alters
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: one's appearance, including their age and gender. He has been
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: using it to turn himself into a Twitter famous biker
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: chick and even demonstrated his process on TV. Wow, so
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: he came out and aired himself out.
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 41:14
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: He apparently resorted to this kawaii persona for social media
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: and popularity. He said if a girl like her existed,
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: anybody would go crazy for her, right?
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: Because she's a biker, but she's also hot.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: It's like that Megan Fox Ducati wet dream of like
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: just a hot woman on a nice bicycle or motorcycle.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: I ride motorcycles. Clearly, I know a lot about it.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: So he altered his face to an unrecognizable degree, but
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: his glorious golden mane is all his. Even before the
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: shocking reveal on national television, Twitter users had already pointed
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: out a suspicious detail in the photo that the biker
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: tweeted on February 11th. The photo, meant to show off
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: the back view of the motorcycle, also captured in the
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: reflection the biker's side mirror. And a man who looked
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: nothing like the woman in front of the Twitter account.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. He didn't edit his face in the mirror.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: So they're like, wait a minute. It's a grown ass
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: man in the mirror. But then it's like a 20
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: year old woman in the.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: I guess what I don't get to is like, what
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: was the end game for him? Like, did he want
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: to get endorsement deals and stuff?
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: Is that like. I'm just trying to understand what he
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: wanted out of it.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Probably, because on Twitter, if you have viral tweets, people
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: will DM you and ask you to market stuff on
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: the tweet, and you can get paid for that.
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: But he must know after a certain point. You can't
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: really elevate your career if you can't be in person
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: for things. So it would only take you so far.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Right. Especially because like, even in the pandemic, you got
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: to get on Zoom. Exactly. Or like Instagram Live or yeah. Oh, God. Well,
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: there is a filter degree, like a filter. They have
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: a couple different filters, I think. That's true.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: I guess he could get on there and look like
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: a wombat or something, some kind of filter.
• 43:05
  Speaker 4: It would just.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: Smooth him out.
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: It wouldn't like completely alter his face.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: I don't think they have that.
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: Although, honestly, if Zoom continues, someone is definitely going to
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: like come up with a proper filter pack and it's
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: going to be really creepy.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: I'm going to show up and put on the Oprah
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: filter and try to get more money.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: It's me. I love bread.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: All she says is, I love bread.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: Is this really Oprah? I feel like it might not
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: be Oprah. It's just a hunch. She just keeps saying,
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: I love bread. That's all she does. And Weight Watchers? Yeah,
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: Weight Watchers. Were you silenced? Or were you silent, you know?
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: Weight Watchers is definitely a scam, side note. Right. Big time.
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: But listen, if it works for you, work it, okay?
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: Of course. Count those points.
• 43:57
  Speaker 4: I listened to this whole podcast about Weight Watchers and
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh no, this is like so creepy.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: Anyway. It truly is. But you know, weight loss in
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: general is a scam. It's so hard. Yeah, weight loss is, oh,
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: everything's a scam.
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: There's no way to just lose weight quickly and healthily.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: The dieting industry fully is a scam. Yeah, and it
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: all depends on making sure that you have low self-esteem.
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? They love to target you
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: late at night.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: You'll see more ads for diet commercials at night because
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: statistically people who have higher BMIs tend to not sleep
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: as early. And so once scientists found that out, the
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: industry was like, oh, okay, then.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: We'll run like hydroxy cut and.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: Lose somebody with a very large pair of pants that
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: they probably never, ever wore holding them up in front
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: of the tiny body.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: And the funny thing to me is, is that.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: There's so many fat people who are way healthier than
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: skinny people. A lot of health has to do with genetics.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: So you can have low blood pressure, be healthy. But
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: the whole scam of the diet industry is like, we
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: have to make you feel like bad.
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: And like so much of America.
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And also the scam is that they tell you
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: that skinny automatically equals healthy, which is 100% not true. Yeah.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: And it's bad, too, because it's infiltrated our medical industry
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: in such a pervasive way that doctors are so discriminatory.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: If you're black, if you're fat, if you're a person
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: of color, if you're a woman. Any of these things,
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: whenever you go to the doctor, you should always be
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: seeking a second opinion, especially if there's something that you
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: need to get done or a surgery because.
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: Doctors are scammers too.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: I have fibroids and I had a doctor, you know,
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: tell me, one, I had a doctor before that who
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: was like, we're going to get you into early menopause.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm 25. I don't want to
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: go into early menopause. Then later in my 20s, now
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: I've gone to a doctor who was like, okay, so
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: we're going to take your uterus out and you'll be
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: in the hospital for two days.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, but the fibroid isn't in
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: my uterus, right? He was like, yeah, no, but I'm
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: really good at that surgery.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, so you're going to get me
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: to take my pussy out of surgery because you're good
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: at it?
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Well, that's not what I need. My
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: coochie don't need to be on the floor of the OR,
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: but you're going to do it anyway.
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: My mouth is on the floor. That is so horrifying.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: He was like, look, this is what I'm good at
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: is taking the girls' coochies out. Now, you don't need that.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't like do the surgery you like doing
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: because it boosts your ego.
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: Like that's not how surgery works.
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: You're like, I'm really good at it.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: You're like, no, that's– You're going to have a huge
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: scar and you're going to have to stay in the hospital.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: And you don't need it. I want to be clear.
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: You don't need it. But I am good at it.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: But it would just be really good for me and
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: my self-esteem. If you let me pull your pussy out
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: just real quick. I feel like a major big shot
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: when I do that surgery. So if you don't mind
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: being a guinea pig for me, that would be great.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: Cool. Cool. Cool.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: But I honestly understand this man because he's right. A
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: hot woman on a bike is going to sell better
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: than like an older man on a bike.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: And I get this grift. I really do. So he
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: was altering his face.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: And even before the shocking reveal, people, you know, had
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: picked up on him being in behind one of the
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: cameras because they saw the mirror, which I love. The
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: Internet is so thorough. They will be like, what's that
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: in the back?
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: I love that sleuth mentality of like, hold on, let
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: me zoom in.
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. The zoom in is people are petty
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: and I love it.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: So, and you know what's funny is, like, before Black
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: Lady Sketch Show came out and I could talk about it,
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: it was like, HBO was like, it's a big secret.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: Like, you can't talk about it. You can't take photos
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: in your trailer, all this shit.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: And one time I was on Twitter and I was saying, like, Issa, like,
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: Issa Knife, like, 21 Savage or whatever. And someone noticed
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: that my phone auto-capitalizes Issa. And so they're like, why
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: does your phone auto-cap Issa? Do you work with Issa Rae?
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: And I was like, what the hell?
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: Whoa. That is really impressive attention to detail. Yeah. Wow.
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: People pay attention on the internet. I love it.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, at this point, after the Capitol insurrection, the
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: FBI was like, hey, girls, it's us, the F, the B,
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: and the I.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: Do y'all mind getting on Twitter and finding these girls
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: who came to the Capitol for us? Y'all don't know
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: how to do that?
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Because y'all definitely killed all the Black civil rights leaders.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Y'all know where to find Fred Hampton. But y'all can't
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: find these insurrectionists?
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: I gotta look. Yeah, the worst. But it was actually
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: very easy to find them. Guys, don't film your crimes.
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: But if you're a racist, film your crimes. Yeah, keep filming.
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: We love it. We love that for you.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: So the photo meant to show off the back view
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: of the motorcycle also, you know, captured that reflection. And
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: someone on Twitter said, you're using a cute phone case,
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: which basically they're being like, we see you in that side.
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: Mirror, sis. And like, who is this? Who are you?
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: So how do you feel about Azusa? Do we like Azusa?
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: He wasn't harming anybody, you know? Yeah. I mean, it
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: was pretty benign what he did.
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah. It's interesting to me that that's like what he
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: wants to get attention for is like being a hot
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: girl on a bike and wanting the life of a
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: hot girl on a bike. I think that says a
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: lot about Internet culture and like how we glorify influencers
• 49:01
  Speaker 4: and Instagram and. Right.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: And just being like, that is the new frontier.
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: Like, if you can make money doing that, you've you've
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: done it. Right.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: And you can make good money doing that. It's a
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: lot of work to constantly be doing photo shoots and shit.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: But like, you know, you can make great money. And like,
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: it doesn't say here if, you know, Azusa, the real guy,
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: the 50 year old identifies as this.
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: Gender.
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: So I'm not going to put that on him.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: But I understand being like, oh, hot girls on Instagram
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: get more likes and get more attention.
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: So yeah, no, that's that's more what I was thinking
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: is just like, yeah, I think that the the thought
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: behind it actually makes a lot of sense.
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: And I think it says a lot about our culture. Right.
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: It really does.
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: But guys, that brings us to the end of another episode.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: And Jamie, we always ask, where do you want to
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: be found? Where do you want people to find you?
• 49:48
  Speaker 4: Where do I want to be found? I would love
• 49:50
  Speaker 4: to be found on Netflix. I have a show called
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: The Wedding Coach and it drops on April 7th. And
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: then I also would like to be found on Instagram
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: at ReallyJamieLee.
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being here, Jamie. You're so fantastic.
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: I loved you on Girl Code. I love that show so, so,
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: so much. Starting in comedy.
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: So like, so it's so surreal to have you here.
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: I love it. Thank you. And sorry that my dogs
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: were growling the entire time. Oh, no, I love it.
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: Quite friendly.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: I love that they're getting into the frame. Like, your
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: one dog in the back on that chair is like, hey, girl.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: I love it. We love to see it.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: Guys, as always, you can find us on Scam Goddess
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: Pod on all platforms. There's going to be new merch
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: coming out, guys. I'm going to get it cute for you,
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: I promise. I've seen all your replies and everything on
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: Twitter and Insta. Also, if you want to find me, D-I-V-A-L-A-C-I-D, Valacey,
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: on all platforms.
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: Congregation, stay scheming. Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is starring me, duh,
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: Scam Goddess, a.k.a. Lacey Mosley.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: Scam Goddess is produced by Chelsea Jacobson and engineered by
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: Marina Baez with research by Sherilyn Vera.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: Stay scamming!