Latest / Kickin’ It With KeKe: Life, Love, & MINDSET / Episode #153 "Soul Of A Woman" w/Shermonica Slaaughter

Transcript

Episode #153 "Soul Of A Woman" w/Shermonica Slaaughter · Kickin’ It With KeKe: Life, Love, & MINDSET

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Kicking and Kiki Kicking It.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Be Ki Ki.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Kicking it the ki Ki.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: For little personality, switching up the storyline on God we
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: making this story and hooks changing rise one day at
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: the time. Much problems to the side. Enjoy yourself, free
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: your mind, chicken it we ki.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Keep Hello, Hello, Hello, and we are back with another
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: episode of Kicking It with Kiki, Life, love and all
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: that other ship. I am your host, Kiki Chanel. Today
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: is I'm good today because this guest has been out
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: here before and we have not seen each other in
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: a long time, and seeing her beautiful smile, it just
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: brought back so many memories of when we did have
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: her time together. But y'all know how I like to do.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Whether you remember her or not, she's gonna tell you
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: who she is, So go ahead.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Hey, g'all, Hey, hi everybody, ma'am. Thank you so much
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: for allowing me to be back on here again.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: I was going through all my old stuff and I
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: came across the you know, the flyer and everything you made,
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: and I was like, I'm going to reach out to
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: her again because I had just had a wonderful time
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: being with you, and you know, I had to take
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: my time. God had to do some things up in
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: me before he was like, it's time for you to
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: come back out there. So I'm I'm just glad I
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: could be back.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I'm glad. Thank you for responding to my you know,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: my DM and everything.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: I was hoping that you were still doing your show
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: and I was like, yeah, so to say out there,
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: thank you for having me on here.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: It's always a pleasure to work with.
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: I consider you to be like black excellent, like your
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: show is so good and so like, thank you for that.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: But to those that don't know me, my name is
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: Shermonica and I live in Mobile, Alabama, and I have
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: a brand new podcast. She's still a baby. She's a
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: baby right now, not from my old and this is
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: a whole new one. It's called the Blessed Forties Podcast.
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: And I'm a mom of three my current jarb right now.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: I'm a therapist. It just seems funny. I'm a therapist,
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: but I am a domestic violence you know, survivor. I'm
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: an advocate, mental health advocate, and that's basically what I'm
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: promoting on my show and just you know, it's about
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: my life since I turn forty. I'll be forty two
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: in September, but just since I turned forty, you know,
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: being a black woman, being a single woman, being a mother,
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: just my walk regard, that's what I talk about on now.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: Just try to bring some you.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Know, light and laughter and love to it.
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: And because everybody always think, like when you say it's
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: just old, boring and you're sitting in the house house
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: to day and everything, but it's really not.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: And so that's kind of what I try to bring to.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: My show absolutely. And I love that you jumping ahead
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: because we're gonna talk about the show. We're gonna talk
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: about the show, but y'all gotta like the sneak peek
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: of it before we jump into it. I just want
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: to say thank you, thank you for wanting to come back,
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: because it's nothing more humbling to me as the whole
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: than to have people who have been on the podcast
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: want to come back. So that lets me know that
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I am doing my job because y'all want to come back.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: So thank you. And I can see the difference. I
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: can see you glowing, like not that you were not
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: glowing the last time. It's just different now. It's something
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: about the confidence and that smile and I can see
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: God all over you, Shermonica. So whatever he is doing,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: allow him to take that will and keep driving.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: We are most definitely He's done to work in me
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: because I was progress.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Thank you for that.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: We all are. So today's topic and as I was pondering,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: we're going back through our correspondence, what would be a
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: great time because you know, we can talk about life,
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: love and all that other stuff all the time. I
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: want to talk about the soul of a woman. We're
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: talking about today. Yes, So when you hear the phrase
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: soul of a woman, what does that mean to you personally?
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: To me, it would be inner work because that's where
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: your souls is at. And so in this da age,
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: you know social media, they have created hashtag for everything,
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: hashtag this, hashtag that. And I'm all about inner peace
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: and inner work and I try to teach that to
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: my children because I want you to fix what's on
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: the inside and it would radiate on the outside. You know,
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: you're not the first person say it's just something different
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: about you. Now, what I'm doing, I'm allowing God to
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: do the inner work within me, because you believe it
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: or not. I was like a pretty shiny box, and
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: I had nothing on the inside, wow at all period?
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: What one doing any type which is folks completely on
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: the outside, but was dying on the inside.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: And my soul was dying.
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: And so when I just stepped back and allow him
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: to do what he needs to do, now I can
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: see the fruits. So because I was in a very
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: bad way, so to mean inner works where you, I
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: feel like you.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: So when it comes to the.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: Soul of a woman and even the man too, we
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: all should be working on the inside. I have a
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: twenty one year old and just you know, trying to
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: get him understand. I know, you see the cars, and
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: you see the clothes and this and that, but a
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: lot of them they're not doing any work on themselves.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: It's just an outside, flashy thing and you don't want
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: to That's not no way to go through life.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I feel like when you trying to be
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: flashy and put on a facade for other people, it's
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: to cover up something deeper. And God wants us to
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: take care of our temple, which is the inside earth,
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: our heart, our soul, our spirit, so that it can radiate,
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: like you said, on the outside and people can see
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: and say, you know what, I like that glow on Shamanica.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I won't I want that glow. Let me see what
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: she doing. Let me let me look at her fruit.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Because we know the tree by the fruit that it bears.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: So we have to make sure that we're protecting the
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: fruit that we're bearing, because not all fruit is gonna
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: gonna survive. We're gonna have something that get overripe. We
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: go on some some that don't even bloom at all,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: but at the end of the day, we have to
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: make sure that our soul is intact. So because you
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: are a fifteen year domestic abuse a survivor and you
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: are a certified domestic abuse advocate, let's talk about before
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: all of that, Like before all of that came into play,
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: who was Shermonica then? And then we're going to talk
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: about who is you?
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: You got some time, I was a very broken, bitter,
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: insecure little girl. That's that's that's what I was. I
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: had a victim mentality. It was everybody else fault that
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: you know. My mother and father were on drugs and
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: they didn't raise us and I was by myself. I
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: wanted to blame everybody, and I wanted to stay in
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: that mentality, Oh you left me, you know, the person
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: I had children with, not taking accountability that I chose
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: that person to have a child with and everything. And
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: I just I didn't want to take responsibility for no
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: area in my life. It was everybody else fault, not mine.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: And so I cared that for for so long throughout
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: my life, and it just and I was I wouldn't
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: say I was a bad mother, but I was just
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: so focused on just the pain and the sorrow, and
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: you know, I just it's just who I was. And
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: I look back on that time and I think I
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: thank God for because when he finally opened my eyes
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: and I got to, you know, see who, you know,
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: who I truly was and what I was truly doing,
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: just how he delived for me. But I was very broke, insecure.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: I didn't like women, you know, I was running behind men.
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: I was a completely different person than who you see
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: right here now, just in bad ways. I you know,
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: I tempted suicide, you know, different times.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I was a cutter. I was just trying.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: To, you know, mask all the pain that was there
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: from you know, having the traumata childhood, growing up and
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: then you know, seeing my mother abuse and then going
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: into abuse relationships myself.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, So thank you for sharing that. It takes
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: a lot. It takes a lot to be vulnerable. And
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that you could tell that you have gone
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: through your healing journey because you can talk about it freely, yes,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: and not feel ashamed, because a lot of people still
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: have that victim mentality, and that means that you're not free.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I feel like, if you keep bringing something up and
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: it bothers you to your core, you have to do
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: some of that inner work on your soul.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: And you know what I learned, Kiki, that a lot
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: of people that's their whole identity, like the trauma and
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: the pain, so they don't want to heal.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: They don't want to get to.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: The other side because then, oh, you're not going to
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: feel sorry for me, You're not going to pedy me,
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: because that's all what they base their life on. Because
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: it's responsibility on the other side of healing. You gotta take.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Accountability, you have to you know, you have to do
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: all that.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: And I didn't want to do that at our people,
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: But when I finally got over there were like I
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: should I wish I would have did it years ago.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: But you know, everything in.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: God's time, and and I was one of those people.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: I did not want to get out that mentality because
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: I wanted the pity.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I wanted the old.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, your children's father left you, and you're right.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: I wanted all of that, and you know, and so
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: it was a mess. I don't even know that woman anymore.
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: I didn't know her.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad. I'm glad because I like the woman
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: that I see before me. So moving forward, Okay, who
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: is Shemonica? Now? Oh? Wow?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Well Samonica? Now?
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: Is I am a vessel for God for him to use?
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: I used to I used to be like, Lord, what's
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: my purpose? What's my purpose? And so he clearly just
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: sent me. Your purpose is to serve me and to
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: live for me. I'm going to teach you what your
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: calling is. And so now you know my whole mission
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: is to reach back and to help others that have
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: been through what I've been through. You know, my I
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: have a mission to be a parent to my children
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: that you know I never received and I know I
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: never have, and just to I love to help, I
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: love to give, I love to share, I love to
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: encourage and I'm so glad he brought all that I
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: do the meaning and I just want to go back
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: and help women that had you know, that are still
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: in that situation, even women that have came out, and
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: everything is just it's different topics, you know, different things
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: that I can help on.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: But my main thing is is that now I'm a
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: vessel for the Lord.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: I'm completely sould out to him and you know, to
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: want to do his will. So when I do stand
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: before him, I will be empty. When I said, because
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: I did what he told me that he put me
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: here to do.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Absolutely and I have I have apostle Rodney Robinson, and
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I call him my big brother because I've been knowing
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: him all my life. He always talks about dying and
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: like leaving it all here. Oh wow, shout out to him,
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: toy my bro. But yeah, that just it just gives
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: me chills because when you give everything that you have
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: that God has blessed you to do and be, it
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: just feels amazing. Like I would always wonder why people
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: didn't like me a certain way, or I wasn't getting
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: support like other people and stuff like that, and God
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: just had to tell me you different, your support will
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: come you don't worry about it. You just keep showing
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: up and doing what you need to do. And I'm
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: gonna make sure that you get what you need to get.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I don't like nothing, and that's all places to God.
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: So I'm seeing it on you too, because your show
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: is absolutely amazing and just you know, where's going and everything.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: And I was like, yes, I know, that's a straight
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: alignment for me, for us to you know, work and
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: connect together because you're doing great things out here.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Thank you so much. Let's talk
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: back about the soul, because we're talking about soul of
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: a woman. What parts of your soul that you feel
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: were most affected during your experience with domestic abuse.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, I guess it would have to be my mind,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: my mental state.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: You know, physical scars they go away, you know, the
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: black guys and the bruises and things like that. But
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: it was the mental aspect that really stuck with me
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: for years, even after I left him and everything, and
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: it really just it destroyed my soul, It really did,
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: because I would look back into things that I accepted,
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: you know, just you know, not only the abuse, but
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: you know, he had went and got married and I
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: took him back.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: He had another baby, and I took him back.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: He you know, he beat me down to somebody who
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: I didn't even recognize.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't know who I was anymore.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: And it was that mental that it kept me up
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: at night, you know, for a long period of time.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: That it really struggled.
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: When I got into therapy, when I really got deep
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: down into it, it was hard for me because my
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: mind was still back there with the abuse and everything. Wow.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think I think that that mindset plays
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: a big part in not just what we allowed others
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: to do to us or say to us, but how
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: we see ourselves.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I hated myself for a long time.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. And people and believe it or not, even
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: have people that pray off that they pray off your mind.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: They study you. They realize that, oh, this person may
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: be weak in this area, so let me come in
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: strong right here to throw them off or whatever, and
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: they try to take the strong part and beat you
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: down to nothing. Yeah. Wow. Wow. For women who may
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: not recognize they're in an abusive situation, what are some
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: early signs that often get overlooked.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: The first major red flat is isolation. If they don't
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: want you, and that was a big thing. I mean,
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: he had completely everyone was gone, friends, family. But then again,
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: in my situation, my mother was abused, all my sisters
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: was abused, so it was like I didn't really have
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: anyone and they were still with their abusers as well.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: So what could I really say to you? But if anything,
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: the first that if they begin to they have problems
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: with people who've been in your life before you even
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: met them, and they don't want you to talk to
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: them anymore. They're causing confidence between your family members and
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: you know, things like that. That's a huge red flat
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: because once they get you all to themselves, you have
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: nowhere to go because you didn't cut your body off,
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: so they got you.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: They got full control.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Of your life, right absolutely. Was there a specific turning
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: point when you realize your soul deserved more?
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, it was. It was It was my children,
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: It really was them At the time.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: My son was.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: Five and I had my daughter, she was one, she's
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: about to be one, yes, And I just remember that
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: I had secretly started going to therapy secretly, and he
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: wouldn't leave. He would he would not leave my house,
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: and so I was gonna go.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: I was gonna go.
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: And my turning point came is when he almost hit
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: my daughter with a broom, trying to hit me, and
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: I was like, this is I cannot because you know
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: a lot of time you'll go to from you to
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: the children.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And I was like no.
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: And so that was my when I saw the look
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: on her face, even though with her being wanted, her
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: being afraid, I was like, no, if I don't change,
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: and if I don't get out of this, because honestly,
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: God allowed me to see my funeral. He allowed me, Yes,
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: he did. The night that I left, he and I share.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: I share my testimon a lot of times, you know,
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: I do I go, do the message, know when the
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: messic violence mightn't come in October and everything. But he
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: he busts my head open, like I was bleeding from
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: my head, and he left me in the field like
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: I had ran out of my house and he ran
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: behind me, and he left me if I was bleeding
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: from my head dying. And while I was unconscious, you know,
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: the Lord.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Show he showed.
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: I saw my stuff in my casket. I saw my
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: two children on the front row. They were crying, and
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: I heard God's voice vibol say if you don't leave,
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: I'm showing you what's gonna have them, Because I had
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: he had removed him plenty of time, but I would
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: let him come back, and I'm gonna be just God
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: honest you. I don't know how I got back to
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: my house, because even to this day, you know, he
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: would say I never helped you. You know, you know,
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: you know his mindset. It was God that helped me
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: got back. When I woke up, I was in my bed.
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: I don't know how I got there, but I was
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: in my bed. And when I said, that was it.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: And I never looked back from then, and that was
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: my turning point. And so now when I when I
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: teach other women about that, it was like, you know,
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: you have to get tired, you really, because I had
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: so many people leave him.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Why are you put it? But it was till I
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: got tired.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: So I take that same grace that people didn't want
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: to give to me, and I extended to other women.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: You know, just talk about it.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: You can ben to me and you can talk to me,
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: but when you're ready, you're gonna walk out that door.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Come hell of high water, you're gonna get up out.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: It there and everything absolutely and you know healing is linear. Yes,
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: so let's talk about your non profit help Me Help You?
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: When did you start that? Out of the house the house?
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Does that work? Tell the listeners about help me help you?
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: So she's actually almost like a teenager basically.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: So I like to I have all these resources that
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: I can help you with because they helped me. And
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: as I was sitting down thinking about the non profit,
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: I was like, Lord, there was so many people I
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: was able to reach out to and help and I
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: still have those great connections with them. So you know,
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: I can help you find a place to stay, you know,
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: help you get a job. But the whole process is,
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: if you're gonna come through my non profit, you have
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: to get counseling.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: You have to get it.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: So you know, I'm partner with you know, a bunch
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: because my thing is, if you don't change your mindset
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: about what happened to you, you're just gonna go back
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: to your abuser, or you're going to invite another abusery.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: And so healing that and again in your mind because
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: I can help you get a job, and I can
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: help you get the place to stay and help you
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: out there, but you got to help your mind first,
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: So that's like the key component you have to go
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: through therapyt and if you don't want to go through therapy,
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: it still doesn't mean I won't help you or anything
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: like that. But I'm really just trying to get you
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: to change your mind because it is life after domestic violence.
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: You can have a life after, you know, after the
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: rest of So that's my main thing I try to.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Help with people.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. What did your healing journey actually look like? Behind
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: the scenes?
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Ooh, it was very painful.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: So you know how most people they just think that
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: healing is you just sitting on the beach and you just, ah,
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: you meditated. It is not that at all. It is ugly,
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: it is dirty. You gotta kill parts of yourself that
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: you don't want to kill. And it was a lot
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: of tears. It was a lot of crying at night,
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: you know, in my prayer clauset just like, when's this pain.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: On the end? Why am I going through this?
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: You know this?
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: You know all that.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: So it was a roller coaster and I'm still on
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: the healing journey. There are things I'm healed from. But
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: I would always say until I'm up out of here,
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: I would always be on a healing journey. But it
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: was a lot of dark days. It was a lot.
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: But I see now he was killing everything in me
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: because he had to get me ready for what I'm
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: going to do, you know, to help his kingdom and
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: help his people. I couldn't do that back then if
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: I was still in the same situation, in the same mindset.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not, Absolutely not, because you would have made it
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: about you when you were trying to help everybody else. Yeah,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: and I like that. You say you have to kill
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: parts of yourself, like your mentality.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Your way, your ways.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: You actually have to learn how to forgive the person
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: or people who hurt you.
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: Yes, And you know, I still get a lot of flats,
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: you know, I guess for people who haven't been through
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: they thing. You know, how can you forgive someone who
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: did that? And now I don't have a relationship with him.
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: We have a daughter together, but I have completely forgiven him.
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: It was no point for me to hold on to
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: all of that, because you know, he went on by
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: his life and was still doing the things he was
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: doing with other women.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: And by the grace of God, he didn't kill me
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: that night.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: I'm here that I can share this so I was like, yeah,
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: and it even surprised him sometime. Now we're not cool
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: and buddy, buddy, but I'm cordial with you. Hey, how
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: you doing? And you know I keep it moving, but
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: there's no ill will there. I pray for his soul
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: because he's one of God shold him and everything is just.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: It was no point that weighs you down. A lot
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: of people don't realize that when you're caring, all that
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: is heavy and I don't want to be heavy. I
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: want to be light and I wanted better do what
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: the Lord put me here to do, and I can't
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: do that still being mad at you when you walk
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: in the room.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I know you love God and he loves you.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I love God and I talk about God on this podcast.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: So if that's not your jam, I'm sorry. Listen anyway
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: you might learn something. I'm not apologizing for loving on
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: God because I'm good to us, all right, So talking
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: about that, and I know you are one with faith,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: how did your faith play a role in making sure
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: that your soul stayed intact during those dark times?
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: So I had mother issues and father issues, and a
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: lot of times people don't realize that your correlation with
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: your parents would be how your relationship with God is
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: so because I had that abandonment and trust issues, and
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: I believe I brought that into my relationship with God.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: I felt like he was going to bandon me. I
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: didn't have faith in him.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I didn't, you know.
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: I felt like he was going to leave and everything too.
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: And so as he began to do a work in meeting,
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: he was like, you couldn't trust him, but you can
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: trust me.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I've never left you. I've always been here, you.
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: Know, because I was just praying to be praying, and
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: I wasn't believing what I was praying for or.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Thinking it was going to happen.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: I was one of those people going to church every
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: Sunday and every Wednesday, but had no.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Relationship with God here. It was just a check off
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: the box. I went to church.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: I went to church, and I haven't been in a
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: physical church since twenty twenty because he pulled me out
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: of there and he was like, I want a relationship
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: with you, not that you're going to church. And it
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: just began to strengthen my faith because he began to
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: show me I can provide for you, I can take
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: care of you. I can heal you, you can trust me,
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: you know, begin to hear and then also heal the
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: relationship with my mother and father, you know.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: To heal that as well too. But He's strengthened my faith.
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: And I'm saying it's been all good times because it
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: has been, you know, hard times, because you know that's
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: a life as a Christian.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: We will go through things. And it was doing those
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: times where I'll be like, oh, where are you at?
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: But he was right there, but he wanted to see
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: are you coming to me because I'm blessing you with things?
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Or you love me and you want a relationship with me?
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: So that kind of And now I can teach that
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: to my children because you know, they're on their own
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: walk with God and they got questions and they're trying
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: to figure things out. And now I see I went
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: through all that, so I can help you to teach
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: you who to love God for who he is, not
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: just what he can do for you.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, So how do you protect your peace? Now? What
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: do you do?
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: I take time for me? So in my twenties, I
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: pretty much was having babies, and you know, I didn't
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: really get a chance to do all things that they
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: stay quote unquote twenty year old is supposed to do.
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: You know, you're finding yourself because I was already mother
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: at by nineteen twenty. You know, I had my first
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: child and my second baby at twenty four, and then
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: my other one came along at thirty.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: I didn't get a chance to do none of that.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: So now that they're older and I know they're safe
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: and okay, I can take that time.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I go on walks. I love walking. I'm writing my books.
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: I'm currying and writing two books right now, and I
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: can beg express to them. I need this time right
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: here to myself right now and not making them feel excluded.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: But mom needs this time to you know, get herself together.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: But I couldn't do that when they were younger, but
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: now I can, and I can just I can jump
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: in my car and go. I think I can go
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: and be like I will see you in a minute.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: And another I had to heal my inner child. That
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: was another part I didn't get to have a childhood.
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: So now if I want to go get me some
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: ice cream, I'll do that. If I want to go
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: and watch cartoons, I would go watch cartoons and everything
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: just to heal that that soul work right there. And
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: so that's kind of what I've been doing.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: And I've been to.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: Know people like why you look differently, you look younger,
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: No more stress, I'm now, you got no more about
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: anything or anybody. I pray about you, and the Lord
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: said you gotta go. Then you have to go, and
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: it is no more stress than no more.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: And I'm grateful for that.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I love that for you. I love that because I
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: tell anybody, being selfish about you is not selfish at all.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: It's not a better person so that you can pour
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: into those other people who you love. But if you
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: don't have nothing to give because you ain't giving it
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: to yourself, how you're gonna give it?
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Exactly?
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: It was like a laundry basket, you know, the one
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: got the holes in it pouring the water and the
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: water just coming out.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: That's how I was back then.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: I couldn't say no to anybody. I was a beep pleaser.
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: I was like, not not if I don't want to
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: do it, No, I'm sorry. That does not aligned with
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: what I got with it that I'm doing today.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: And it's okay. Nola's a complete sentence, and it's okay.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: To say no with me is just ma'am.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Look, I say no, I don't want to go. I
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: don't want to I don't I don't have I don't
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: have to tell you. I just don't do it. I
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: don't want to do it ago exactly. And if you
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: take offense to it, ask yourself why. Yeah, they ain't
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: got nothing to do with me. Ask yourself why for real?
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: So you talked about having babies and stuff in your
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: in your thirties, and then you had to I had
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: my second baby at thirty two, but my babies was
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: spread out like twelve years apart.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Yea, all minds are five years apart from each other.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, Oh but yeah, I had my first child
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: at nineteen and so I kind of like I was
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: in college and stuff like that. So I say that
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: to say, you talk about the new baby, the podcast.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: You changed, You changed it up, you flipped it up
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: on us. Tell people about the podcast, what's the name,
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: how we can tune in, where to find you, and
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: all the things.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: Okay, So when the old podcast I had, which was
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: my Journey Within, I was still in my STEMI broken states,
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: and you know, the Lord was like, I need you
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: to close this down. You gotta do some healing, you
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: gotta do all that. And then I tried to come back,
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: but everything was different. It was like completely different. And
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: once again I was like, Lord, I'm just gonna follow
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: what you want me to do.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: And he just gave me this idea. He gave me
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: the name for it.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: And so it's called The Blessed Fort This podcast where
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: you know, I'm just navigating my life since I.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Turned forward him.
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: You know, I share stories from you know, past experience,
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: but it's basically what has my life been like because
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: it kind of almost seemed like I hit like a
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: mid life crisis when I turned forwarding, and it was
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: just like what am I?
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Why am I here? You know, what is my purpose
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: of being here?
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: I'm never thinking, So I just I navigate, you know,
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: talk about being black, being a you know, a black woman,
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: a black single mother, just you know, I talked about
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: I haven't gotten into kind of really really deep because
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: she's still just the baby, but I'm getting there. I'll
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: talk about my domestic violence journey, you know, my suicide attempts,
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: just you know, the abuse I do is a childhood
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: generational you know, curses and breaking and things like that
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: that the Lord put me on that he wanted me
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: to do, like I'm kind of gonna go into all
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: of that, and they're thinking, I'm just having a good
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: time just getting God's word out here and just you know,
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: talking about it and talking about him because I was
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: I used to be one of those Christians.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: But girl, ain't take all that.
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: Ain't all that. But I promise you it is all that,
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: and Jesus it is all about that. And I'd be like, Lord,
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: I'm so sorry I ever said that back then, but
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: my mind was different. And so I'm on YouTube and
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: I released a new episode every Friday, and I'm just
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: I'm I'm having a great time doing I'm on Instagram
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: that you know by but I have social media, but
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: they all got different.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Names and I realized and I.
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: Was like, every so, you know, I'm on Facebook by
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: my name Shermonica because that's like my page. But then
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: I'm on Instagram as the Blessed for It podcast. But
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: then I'm on TikTok as Covered by God, and I
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: was like, they're not gonna find me.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: They're not gonna well, you know what, you can always
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: update your name on TikTok for real.
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I just gotta correlating everything together. But my dms
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: are always open, you know, to any woman out there
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: that you just may need a shoulder or need someone,
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: you only have to come through my nonprofit. It's a
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: lot of women out there, they just need somebody to
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: talk to.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: I didn't have that.
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: I didn't have anyone to talk to, so I tried
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: to make myself available.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Now, you know, let's talk about it and everything.
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: You know, to give you the help because maybe me
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: playing that one seed may be your foot.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Out the door.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: Right absolutely, now, speaking of that, are you are you
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: having guests on the podcast? Is just yourself or or
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: how does that work?
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: Eventually I am, I'm gonna start having guess. I wanted
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: to just kind of get you know, get my foot in.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: And get everything. But I would love for you to
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: come that.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: Comes, come be on there and there, which I was gonna,
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: you know, extend all that to you once I did
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: start having But of course I love talking, love talking
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: with people and love sharing love hearing their stories and
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: their life and everything.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: So of course, okay, great, well you let me know
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: when and I'm there.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: You already know I'm excited about that.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, So if you could speak directly to the woman listening,
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: okay right now, who feels stuck and whatever it is
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: that she's stuck in and her soul is crying out
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: to her, what would you say to her?
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: Well, so I have a model that I say, and
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: is love yourself enough so that when love shows up,
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: it's gonna be a stranger to you.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I had to work on self love.
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: I had to learn and love myself first before I
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: ever try to let anyone else love me or anything.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: And when it comes to being stuck, I'll say, take
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: the time, take the clock off, take take the card.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: Because you know our in our mind they oh they
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: want to be married by this time and have babies
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: by the time, and.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: This and that. Take the clock off of them. Put
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: your focus back on God.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: You know, I know everyone's not a believer, everyone's not
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: going to be saved and everything. But if you are
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: searching out for something, give it to the Lord. Put
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: it in his hands. Allow him because one thing I know,
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: he'll never leave you the wrong way.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: He'll help you in your journey.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: A lot of time when people are crying out something,
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: they just they need God. And you know they're trying
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: to find everything because I was one of those people too.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: I went to everybody instead of going to God, who
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: made everybody and everything. So don't don't count yourself out
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: as a failure. Don't don't talk down in yourself, don't
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: talk bad about yourself.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Seek God in every way possible.
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: Every day, I literally talk to God about everything, Kiki,
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: I mean everything. And it's helped me because I have
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: been there, felt stuck, stuck as a mother, stuck as
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: a woman, stuck stuck, and I was looking at all
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: the wrong things.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: And to put your eyes.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: And your mind and your heart on God, and I
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: guarantee you he will show you where you're supposed to
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: be and he will help you get there.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. I love that. If you could give your soul
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: a color at this moment in time, what color would
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: it be and why?
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: So it would be black. That's my favorite color.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: I just and I'm trying to get up out of it,
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: but it's just like I loved it. And a lot
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: of people try to associate that with, you know, with
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: depression and everything, but you know, it's a it's a voy.
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: It's really not a color per se in a sense.
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: But I felt the reason why I say black is
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: because I felt like I was a caterpillar and I
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: went into this you know, this black house, and I
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: emerged as a butterfly. And so you know, I have
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: like I have tattoos and stuff, and I have butterflies
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: and everything. I just always kind of associated with that.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: But I love to sit in the dark and talk
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: and talk with God and cry out to him. So
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: I just don't associate black with being bad or anything.
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: And to me, I feel like you go in one
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: way in the darkness, but then you come out in
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: the light and you something different, and that blackness it
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: kills everything off of you, so you can step into
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: what you need to be.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. And black is beautiful, freaky,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: absolutely like black.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: And I used to like red too. I used to
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: have like red hair. And you know, for some reason,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: I think red is like a horror could.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: I was like, yesus or whatever.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: I mean it's all about that mindset, right, mindset, because
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: it has been taboo. You wear red lipstick, you are whore?
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Is that how you wearn't all that black?
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: You worship the devil like it's just a lot of
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: stereotypes and taboo around certain things and certain cultures, and
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure it's just not our culture that has
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: stuff going on.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: But you know, I love I love all colors, me too,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: But it's just something that when when you talk about black,
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: it's just radiance. To me, it is becoming, it is.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: It's so many things that I can think of. But yeah,
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: I just I wanted to ask you that question because
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: that popped in my head and I was like, cafe
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: a question. I love that. The final question of today,
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: when your life story is told years from now, what
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: do you want people to understand about the soul of Shermanica.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, that is deep.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that's an amazing question.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: I guess I would want them. I would want my
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: legacy and my life and my soul. I would want
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: every person I touched that it transformed their life for
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: the better, that when they when they came to me,
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: they left with what they needed or my life ray
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: had helped them to get to what they need and
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: where they're going on. So I really want my legacy
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: to you know, to just every person I get to touch,
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: every person the Lord allows me to help while he
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: still has me here that you know that I brought
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: them to the Lord of course, you know, but just
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: to also help change their life and everything, because I
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: know what it's like not to have anyone and you know,
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: not to have that, you know, that support or anything
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: to be there. So that's what I would want my
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: legacy to be.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: I love that. Thank you again for coming to kick
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: it with me. It has been amazing. As always. Any
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: final words of encouragement to the audience, to the listeners
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: today before we.
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: Go, well, thank you to your audience. I can't wait
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: to watch this back. I want to thank you, of course,
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: first and foremost, thank you for what you're doing out here,
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: and you know how you're helping and how you're contributing everything,
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: and your legacy that you're going to be on and everything.
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: And I don't know if you're doing anything for Otoba,
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: but I would love to come back, you know, in
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: the arm of domestic violence money, you know, if you
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: you know, if you're not booked and busy and blessed
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: like I know you are, so you know, come back
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: and really get into the you know, the meat of
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: the abuses. It wasn't just that relationship. You know, it
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: really started from child and I would love to come
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: on and share that and everything, but I just want
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: to thank you. I just want to give you your
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: flowers for what you're doing out here, because you're black
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: excellent as well.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: So thank you, thank you, thank you. You already know
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: I love. I love to have you back, and especially
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: during that time we can go a little bit deeper.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I just thank you for being here, thank you for
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: showing up, thank you for doing the work, because it
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: does take dedication and it's hard because I too have
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: gone through a chilling journey and I'm still on the journey.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, but it's like you said, it is dark.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: It is dirty. You find out something about yourself that
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: you just didn't even know you are exactly. You might
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: not even like yourself. And now when people see me
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: things like you, you're different. I am different. The stuff
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: that used to bother me, God deliver me from that.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Mean the get under my skin. I don't care about
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: that if it's not gonna affect my life in ten
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: minutes in a positive way.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: Kid, amen, I see it. I know you like you
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: are really glowing.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's like a light in you soh yeah,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: thank God for that.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: Thank God for that. And on that note, we're gonna
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: leave out of here before we start crying and things
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: and we're not doing it. But you guys have been
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: listening to another episode I'm Kicking In with Kiki, Life,
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: Love and all that other shit. I am back every
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: Thursday with a new episode. You can catch me on
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: all major podcasts, streaming platforms, and you can watch on
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: YouTube at Kicking In with Kiki. Until next time, Purple hugs,
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: they blessed, say true and make sure that you love
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: on you. It is not selfish, It is necessary. It
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: sets the tone for other people to love on you
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: the right way. All right, all right, lady chickend it
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: with Kiki.