Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #727 Love, Sex & 3 Star Reads

Transcript

#727 Love, Sex & 3 Star Reads · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now the premise of the book, Trent Dolton goes and
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: sits in Brisbane's CBD at a chair table with a
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: typewriper type Buckhart Speak typewriter and he sets it up
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: so people walk past and it's just a sign can
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: you please tell me a love story?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, My Mum
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and Dad.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: This is the podcast where Kylie and I talk about
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: not parenting, which is kind of unusual because almost all
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: of our episodes.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Are about parenting.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: But once a month we talk about something else that
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: we care about a lot. We talk about book club,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: not that there is a specific book club that we're promoting,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: but rather the books that we've been reading because we
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: think that well, of those books, everyone was a great book,
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: a recommendation, and so we're going to dive into the
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: books that we've been reading. And normally we get all
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: carried away and excited about how many books we've read,
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: and old usually have four or five, and Kylie will
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: have a handful. Today, Kylie, not so many books. I'm
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: working through my third book for the month just now,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: but you have only read one this month.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: I'm just I'm not disappointed in you.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: I'm just saying, seriously, I feel like I just got
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: a tardy.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: You didn't get it.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: Unbelievable. I actually have much three books going on at
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: the moment. I've never been a person to do that,
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: but I'm actually jumping between books at the moment. I
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: just am not feeling the vibe every now and again,
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: and so I picked something else up and I start that.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: But I mentioned last month that I had a book
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: that I've been working through and it's been quite a
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: heavy read for me. So it's what's taken up my focus.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: And I do really I didn't mean to sound so yeah, sure, critical,
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: so judgmental.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: I get in trouble because I have four books to
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: talk about today. I and I have one, and you're disappointed.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: I know. I'm so sorry. I only have two. I'm
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: only going to talk about two, so we're kind of.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: It's been a bit to tell who started bike riding?
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, harn't we And I've I've watched a bit of TV.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: You have been watching a bit of TV.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Ted Lasso season three, it's back out.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I've been watching that Shrinking show on Apple TV with
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Harrison Ford. I also watched All's Quiet on the Western Front,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: the war movie, And of course, because of all the
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: aeroplane rides, there's been a lot more TV than normal,
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: So you.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: Cannot blame TV on aeroplane rides.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, But basically it's been the bike ride, bike riding
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: till six in the morning most mornings, and.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: That really does curtail my ability to read.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: I lay in bed and I read like two paragraphs
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: and I'm gone because I'm.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Getting up at four am. It's really hard to do
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: it all.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: So let's start with your book and then we'll dive
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: into my two.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: So I picked up a book called Bonds That Make
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: Us Free, Healing our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves, and it's
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: by C. Terry Warner. This book has really challenged my thinking.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: It's been really confronting for me to read it because
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: I guess the premise of it is he's actually asking
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: us to take responsibility for our feelings. Yeah, we have
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: experiences and people make us upset, and we blame them
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: for the negative emotions that we're experiencing. But it's actually
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: our choice to respond to those circumstances in whatever way
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: we choose to, and for lots of us, we choose
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: to stay in these patterns of negative emotion, but we
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: blame it on somebody else and think that if only
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: that person didn't exist, or if only that person didn't
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: do that, then I could be happy. But he kind
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: of challenges that whole thought process and suggests that it's
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: really comes down to us and how we choose to
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: live our lives.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: It's a hard thing to hear, especially. I don't know
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: the book has aged particularly well. It's about twenty twenty
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: five years old now. It's written around the turn of
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: the century, and I read this maybe a decade ago,
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: and I loved it. I think that the principles that
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: it teaches are more important now than ever.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: It's a sublimely well thought through book.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: But I think it does kind of get over complicated
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: now then. And I'm also not sure that some of
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: the ideas that he's shared have aged well in the
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: way that he's shared them. The ideas are still relevant,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: and I would argue right, but I think in twenty
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: twenty three he would probably write the book differently.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: It's interesting you just say that, because probably the first
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: half it was kind of like just hit Every page
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: was hitting me with these massive moments of oh wow,
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: I can see how I do that, or I can
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: see how that is actually impacting in a negative way
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: relationships that I hold dear. But then I kind of
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: got to about the middle and it just felt like
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: I was wading through murky water and it wasn't particularly clear,
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: and it felt overly complicated, and so I pushed through
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: it because I actually want I actually am invested in
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: what he's trying to teach me. But I did feel
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: that he kind of lost his way in being able
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: to help, you know, the average person really grasp the
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: concepts of what he was trying to share.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: So something that you may not be aware of. I
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: don't think i've shared this with you before.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Terry Warner, who wrote the book it's called Bonds that
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Make Us Free, is also one of the guys in
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: charge of the Arbinger Institute.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I pick that up. He mentions that a
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: little bit.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: So there's two books by them. One is called The
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Anatomy of Peace and the other one is called Leadership
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: and Self Deception. And the ideas in Bonds that Make
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Us Free are repeated and I guess refined in those
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: two books as well, so that could be another way forward.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: People certainly have responded very well to those two books,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: and Terry Warner and another guy called Jim Ferrell unfortunate surname,
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I know, but Jim Ferrell and Terry Warner are the
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: two guys behind the Arbinger Institute. But obviously bonds that
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: make us free is well, what did you think?
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Well, how would you read it?
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Not religious, but definitely there is an element of God
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: to the conversations that I had.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: Okay, I don't remember that.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: And there is there is a lot of anecdotal experiences
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: to kind of help you see the principles in action
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: and how they play out. And what's wonderful is actually
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: he will often share those experiences and then he'll share
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: you know, where they've come, where they've gotten too years
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: later or even after attending our workshop with him, and
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: how they've come to their own understanding of the I
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: guess self delusions that that found themselves in. But I
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: if I was going to give it a rating, I
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: probably would only give it a three wow, because it
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: just I just got lost in the middle of it all, just.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: The complicated details, right, Okay, but it.
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: Was well worth reading, and I don't know, maybe I
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: actually need to read it again to really grasp what
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: he was trying to share in that middle section. What
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: I gained from reading it was that I can spend
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: all the time I want blaming other people for the
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: way I feel, and I could be justified in feeling
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: those feelings based on the experiences I have, but I
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: can't move forward until I'm willing to let go of
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: those feelings. And I think forgiveness. I've heard people say
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: before forgiveness is not for the person, it's for ourselves.
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: And he talks about that process in a very different
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: way to what I have previously heard and acknowledges that
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: forgiveness is actually for both of you. The opportunity we
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: have to forgive other people is to recognize their humanness,
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: to recognize. Until we're to forgive, we see them as
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: a hindrance to our well being and peace. We don't
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: see them as an individual with their own lives and
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: their own issues, and their own challenges and their own weaknesses.
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: They're just a hindrance to what we're trying to achieve
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: in our lives. But until we're able to see them
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: as a person just like you and me, who is
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: doing the best they can but messing it up just
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: like I am on a day to day basis. Then
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: we're held back from all of the things that we
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: can experience and all the goodness that life has to
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: offer us. It's the choice that we make.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: It's really interesting listening to what you're saying. I've jumped
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: on too good Reads to see what other people thought
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: of the book. It's been highly rated, so there are
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: four hundred and eighty one ratings with an average of
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: four point three to four. But the commentary that people
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: are basically making if they're not giving it five stars,
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: is pretty much associated with what you've just said.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: I made myself finish the book.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: The ideas were so helpful, but I really had to
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: guts it through the parts that were the.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: Complicated or that I didn't quite agree with. I agree
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: with you.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: I think the book is profoundly good, but it's probably
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: about one hundred pages too long and a little bit
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: too complicated. But if you want to learn about yourself
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: and how they talk about self betrayal, yeah, the way
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: we betray ourselves. It's a really it's a really profound book,
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: and all of how it says on the back we
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: we've blamed on others. It's a real like if you
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: kind of sit down and give yourself a couple of
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: upcuts in that first half of the book, right, it's
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: just punch off to punch out to punch and yet as.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: You're reading it, you know that it's true.
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah. In one of the closing paragraphs, he just says this.
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: He says, in my experience, there is one personal characteristic
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: upon which all ourse turns, one that clarifies, simplifies, and
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: focuses us that makes us effective when we're not even
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: trying to be effective. It's not intelligence, wit, charm, or
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: even stubborn determination, since all these be become negative when
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: we're self absorbed. No, the key characteristic is a consistent
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: readiness to yield to the truth in all circumstances, no
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: matter what the apparent cost. It's really easy to blame
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: someone else for the way we feel, but it actually
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: comes down to us.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Bonds that make us free. By Terry Warner. That's Kylie's
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: book for the month. Next month, Kylie I'll try not
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: to sound disapproving no matter how many books you've read.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Let's dive into my two.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: What's your first one?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: So the first one I mentioned in our last book
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: club conversation that I was reading a book that I
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: think could be my book of the year.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure if it's going to be my book
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: of the year, but golly, it was good, very very
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: good book.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: So the book is called The Case Against the Sexual Revolution,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: A New Guide to Sex in the twenty first Century,
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: by Louise Perry, and the book is essentially a critique
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: on so much of what has happened as a result
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: of the nineteen sixties sexual Revolution. And the argument in
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: this book is that the sexual Revolution has done more
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: to harm women than to help women. Not that the
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: author is arguing that we should go back to the
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: way things were in the fifties, and there's clearly problems
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: with that, but essentially, so many of the changes that
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: were supposed to be empowering for women, and so many
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: of the challenges that were supposed to be overcome so
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: that women.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: Could live better lives have really actually made life.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Better for men more than for women, especially in terms
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: of quote unquote sexual freedoms. Men are far more sexually
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: free and women are far less sexually free as.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: A result of those changes. So she acknowledges plenty.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: That is good that's come from the sexual revolution, but
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: plenty is problematic. It's a really complicated book. I don't
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: think she actually totally nailed it, but it's such a
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: tough topic to take on, and I think that it
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: was still brilliantly well done. I would give it like
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: a four to four and a half star rating. Not
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: sure I can give it five, but I give a
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: five stars for taking on a topic that almost no
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: one else would ever be willing to go at, and
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: it was provocative and it was eye opening, regardless of
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: where you sit on the political spectrum, Like you could
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: be completely liberal or completely conservative and read and go
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: as so long as you're willing to wrestle with ideas,
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: you could genuinely get into it and wrestle with the
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: things that she says. And I think that is really
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: really great. Some of the topics that she takes on,
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: which again really brave. She argues categorically that men and
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: women are different, and I know that's a very provocative
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: thing to say. Her argument is strong and in the
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: light of the current podcast that I'm absolutely absorbed by,
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: which is about JK Rowling. It's called The Which Trials
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: of jk Rowling. It's been released recently by the Free
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Press Incredible podcast, and there's a high level of alignment
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: in terms of the thinking that's going on there. She
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: emphasizes that some desires are actually bad, indicates that loveless
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: sex is not empowering, argues that consent is not enough,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: tells us that violence is not love, that people are
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: not products, and then makes the argument that marriage is good.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: So these are all I.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Think, really profoundly important things to talk about, and we
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: live in twenty twenty three. We live in a world
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: where there's actually not allowed to be conversation about some
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: of these things.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: And that's authoritarian.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: That's dangerous because when we stop having conversations about these
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: things and stop considering that there could be more than
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: one view in either direction, that underminds our ability to
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: make progress.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: So does she have a conservative background.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: No, she's actually quite It's very much a feminist book.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: But there's all different kinds of feminism. There's radical feminists,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: there's more liberal feminists. There's feminism can go in a
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: whole range of different directions, and that's one of the
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: reasons that feminism has a bad name, because there are
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: some people who say things that everyone else disagrees with,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: and then so there are so many different ways to
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: approach it. But she's quite wouldn't say that she's a
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: conservative author.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: I just wouldn't say that.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: Is that because she's tackling a topic that would fall
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: intents and purposes to be considered taboo or something.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: She's clearly feminist, Like she's not coming at this from
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: a religious or a conservative point of view. She's saying,
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: we need women to be empowered, we need women to
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: have equality, and the sexual revolution has not given us
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: what it promised. That's really the thrust of it. And
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: it's i mean, look out course language, strong themes, heavy content,
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: and a few times it was a little bit beyond
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: me because I'm not heavily feminist theory oriented. It's a
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: little bit outside of my wheelhouse. But great book, great book,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: really provocative, really thought provoking. And so even though like
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: with your book, you gave it three out of five,
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: but it's still a darn good book and it's still
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: giving it.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: I really want to clarify that because I'm giving it
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: three out of five because as.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: A read it was hard to read. Yeah, but if
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I was.
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: Going to base a rating on the principles taught in it,
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: it'd be a five. Like the principles are life changing
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: principles if you can grasp them, but the delivery of
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: those principles let it down.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yep, yep, I reckon.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: I just reckon. This is a very very strong book.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: I just again while we were talking, I've looked it
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: up on Goodreads. This has got like nearly a thousand
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: ratings at an average of four point three six. People
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: are definitely engaging with the material, and it's the kind
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: of book that forces you to engage with some.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Really tricky stuff. So that was my first book that
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: I wanted to mention.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: The other one and I'll just mention it briefly because
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: our time is pretty well up. Is a book that
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: you got me for Valentine's Day? Love Stories by Trent Dalton.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: How did I go? Did I go to pick a
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: good one?
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: It's a really funny one because so let's just be
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: really clear, I'm going to dive into good Reads again.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: There has been nine three hundred and thirty two ratings
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: on this book. It sold well with an average of
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: four point one nine out of five, so people have
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: loved it. The premise of the book, Trent Dalton goes
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: and sits in Brisbane's CBD at a chair table with
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: a typewriter, so he carries it in and carries it
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: home each day chair table type, riper type duckhart speak
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: typewriter and he sets it up so people walk past
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: and there's just a sign can you please tell me
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: a love story or author seeking love stories or whatever
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: the sign says, and people are stopping and telling him
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: love stories. He does it for two months. First off,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Trent Dalton, my hat goes off to you. The number
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: of people who you probably would never normally want to
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: have a conversation with, who.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: Stopped threatened him.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: Like you can tell as you read the book that
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: he had some unexpected conversations with some unexpected people, and
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: quite often he must have been sitting there going, I
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: really really really want to be kind here, but this
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: is driving me up the wall. And yet he honors
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: those people so beautifully in the book. He honors everybody
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: so well in the book.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: So last month I talked about joining Beck Sparrow's book club. Yes,
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: and they actually did Trent's book last year. Okay, and
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: if you're a member, you can listen to.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: You can listen to the old conversation.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: So I actually listened to an interview with him, and
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: what he acknowledged was that he actually preferred to be
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: in conversation than not because the confrontation of being, you know,
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: this nerdy guy with a typewriter sitting in the middle
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: of a busy CBD was pretty overwhelming and quite confronting
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: for him. So he actually would prefer to talk to anyone, and.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: He did talk to anybody like he but he really
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: honored them and he honored their stories and he put
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: many of those stories in. I really enjoyed the book.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: Trent's swear a lot kind of guy, which I find
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: frustrating every now and again. I think that he just
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: sank into saccharine, syrupy sweetness, which was a bit too
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: much for me. But the highs of the book, the
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: highs are magnificent. They're like five hundred out of five.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: There are a few pages that I turned. I just
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: went off, this is such a beauty, beautiful story. There
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: were pages that were among some of the most beautiful
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: pages of love that I've ever read anywhere, and I
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: just love that. There were also some things where I
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: was like, you know what, I'm kind of a bit
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: over this or I'm not loving the syrrapy sweetness here.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: It's just gone a little bit too far. And so overall,
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I'm going to give him like a four.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: I just the highs.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: The highs were so beautiful that it has to be
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: at least afore. But if those highs weren't there, I
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: think I would have struggled with the book.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: Definitely beautiful in terms.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Of heartfelt humanness, and I love his willingness to sit
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: down and have these conversations with people. I think I
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: might do that for my next book about raising boys.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I'm actually genuinely legitimately thinking that that could be I
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: don't know, fun or crazy, maybe both, maybe both. We'll
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: talk about the books that we've been reading again next month.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: And I think based on an email that we got
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: from Claire Claire's a Happy Families podcast listener podcast at
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: happy Families dot com dot if you want to get
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: in touch with us, and she said, what about kids
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: books you've got kids can they tell us a bit
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: about what they're reading.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: So we're going to find that so funny. Because Lily
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: was sitting in the car with me last month when
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: our book club dropped dropped and she was listening, and
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: she said, can I join this? Can I do this?
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: She said, because she said, you're talking to parents and
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: they've got kids, and I read a lot of books.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: She's really cue up. She wants to do it.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: All right, maybe we can get twelve year old and seven.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: I hang on, e no, she's nine. We can get this.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: We'll get them all. I don't know if forget we
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: might have to How long do we have book club podcast?
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: It's going to be all month. Thanks so much for
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: listening today. We hope those books are interesting to you
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: and the conversation was intriguing. The Happy Family podcast is
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: our executive producer. We can't wait to talk to you
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: again tomorrow on The Happy Family's podcast, where we dive
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: into our old do Better Tomorrow episode, where we focus
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: on how we can be better parents based on our
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: positives and negatives of the week that once