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Transcript

One Good Joke · Serious Beef Podcast

0:01
I'm Abby and I'm Anna. And this is serious beef.
0:04
Welcome, welcome. Welcome.
0:07
Like jumping in. What is your beef?
0:09
It's not my beef. Oh, it's my beef.
0:11
Yep. What is my beef?
0:13
Nothing gets by her folks. A minute I thought they would
0:19
switch to your beef. OK, no.
0:20
I've got not pissy. I'm pissy about a lot of things.
0:25
OK, I had a rough 1 today. I had a bit of a rough one and
0:30
then and then I'm fucking I something got like something
0:34
irritated in my throat when I was at the office today.
0:36
I started coughing. I'm trying to like, you know, be
0:38
quiet about it, but I'm I'm fighting for my life and I
0:42
fucking hear the disembodied voice behind me in the fucking
0:45
double wide cubicle that is Lister.
0:48
Erica go get to keep her gown cause the ruckus.
0:53
God damn it now your answer should have been can you
0:56
describe the rug? And I couldn't.
0:58
Because I go, that's why I sound like I'm laughing because
1:04
because I do that same shit, same shit, of course.
1:07
And you know what? I fucking, I'm fucking taking
1:12
back my office space 1 inch at a time because.
1:18
Cubicles. So small.
1:20
They took your wall and made it nice and big then.
1:22
No, they didn't. They put it back.
1:24
Oh, they put it back OK. But listener Erica and another
1:28
one of our Co workers were walking.
1:29
We realized that the other desks there's like move in like 4 of
1:33
them and straight in the line and the ones at the front I.
1:38
I have more space. Well, nothing's boiled it down,
1:41
so I pushed my desk a little bit.
1:42
I've reclaimed 5 inches of space.
1:44
OK, well there you go. Now it's I got so much more room
1:46
for activities. I could sit in my chair and spin
1:49
a whole circle. Now I couldn't do that before
1:52
for real. Little cramped.
1:55
Little. Cramped little.
1:57
Cramped. I like the boys crashed.
2:00
Oh God. OK, What's your leftovers?
2:03
Nope. What's your leftovers?
2:04
What's your leftovers? Oh boy.
2:05
What's your beef? My beef is actually with whoever
2:09
came up with the three day rule for a.
2:13
Leftover. No, it's not.
2:14
No, it's not. No, it's not because I like that
2:16
rule, because my wife and I, I don't care for them, have
2:20
mutually agreed upon the rule, and it simplified things for.
2:24
Us. Well, it has made things more
2:26
difficult for us. OK, because you guys haven't
2:30
agreed on the rule? Exactly.
2:32
My sister told my husband about the three day rule.
2:38
And which was a mistake, because now he instituted unilaterally
2:45
the three day rule. I think universally, well,
2:47
whatever he decided by himself, whatever uni he did.
2:51
Yeah, universally, whatever by himself that he decided, OK,
2:56
that's a good rule. We're going to use that rule.
2:58
When the rest of us said no, you cannot have my leftovers if it's
3:04
from a restaurant back on. Absolutely not.
3:06
I put my name on the lid of the of my leftovers.
3:11
It's depending on which way you turn it, it either says mom or
3:14
it says wow wow. That's if that even is you're.
3:18
Mean. Exactly.
3:19
And so I like it either way. So yeah, no, don't eat my
3:23
leftovers. I didn't give you permission.
3:26
Now, I'm not sure if those leftovers are good after three
3:28
days anyway, but they're my leftovers.
3:31
You can't have them. So that's my beef.
3:35
You can't decide. You have to take a vote, I
3:38
think, on the household rules and you can't just make it up
3:43
yourself. Can't just take a rule that
3:45
someone gave you and apply it to everybody.
3:49
Well, that's the thing, you guys, you need to agree on the
3:52
rule. Yeah, if you if.
3:53
Everybody agrees, then it's not going to cause any problems,
3:57
correct? But if three out of four people
4:01
in your household disagree to the rule, correct.
4:05
So that's my beef. Yeah, well, I, I mean, I
4:08
understand that because minor beef.
4:10
Well, no, it's not a big beef. I'm fucking pissed off that
4:14
Flonase is some bullshit. Well you got screwed out on your
4:18
on Walmart. I think not today.
4:24
Stole your money whenever it happened whenever it happened,
4:26
but I I. Think it's the doctor's fault in
4:28
my opinion. Because here's the thing, if
4:30
you're a doctor, no, no, no. Because if you're a doctor and
4:36
you are sending a prescription and you're like, yeah, most
4:42
insurances don't cover this prescription.
4:44
Hold on, No, hold on. Hear me out, hear me out.
4:47
And you know that this isn't going to be covered, OK, They
4:50
don't know you. You they do know because she
4:53
said it to me in the office. She said, yeah, most of them
4:57
don't cover it. So you'll have to see when you
4:59
get there. OK?
5:00
Those are the exact words. So she knows new I'm, I'm a
5:06
little testy about this. So if you know most insurances
5:12
don't cover this medication, but that you can get the exact same
5:16
medication over the counter for $20, why wouldn't you just say
5:24
just go get it over the counter? She should have said that to
5:28
you. I agree.
5:29
If the insurance doesn't cover it, just get it.
5:30
Go out into the shelving to the allergy medicine aisle and get
5:34
it yourself. But the pharmacy, pharmacist,
5:37
pharmacy tech, whoever should have also told you that as well.
5:40
I just went through the drive through and they're like we got
5:42
3 here, blah, blah, blah, and they're like for this amount,
5:45
yeah, no, they charged me. They charged me like 50 fucking
5:48
dollars for Flonase. $50 I'm like, I'm like, you can have it
5:51
back. Because the insurance didn't
5:52
cover it out and I'm like. They robbed you.
5:56
That's outrageous. And then I'm like, that better
5:58
be the best Flonase face of the plane.
6:00
I know. And then you just looked it up.
6:02
Sitting here while I was bitching about it.
6:03
I was like, is it any better? No.
6:06
No, it's not even I was like it's there's no prescription
6:09
strength there. Fun fact, Flonase, there is no
6:12
prescription strength Flonase there is one kind of Flonase.
6:16
Do not fall for the trap that I fell in.
6:18
Now if you got Tricare, go get yourself some Flonase.
6:21
It's free. Tricare used to cover where they
6:23
cover now, and I, I that's true. I've never had Tricare.
6:26
I know people who've had. It I used to, well, I wish I had
6:29
it sometimes, but you know, well, I used to work at, at like
6:32
physical therapy place and whatnot.
6:35
And the people, we live near the, the Air Force Base.
6:39
So we had quite a few patients who came in who had Tricare.
6:42
And I'll tell you what, I wish I had Tricare.
6:46
I'm just going to leave it at that.
6:47
I wish I had Tricare. Agreed.
6:48
Agreed. It'd be nice now.
6:51
Let's go ahead and just say the sauce.
6:52
Let's just get out of the way because I nearly I damn near
6:54
forgot it last time. Let's do it.
6:56
Creamy caper sauce. Creamy caper sauce.
7:01
So to me, like, I, you know, I'm like, could, could, could this
7:04
be like the caper that like scooby-doo, they're solving,
7:07
right? Like a sleuth.
7:08
Like a sleuth. Yeah, no, no, it's like the
7:11
fish. The little the little capers.
7:13
I thought they were little, little round, little vegetable
7:19
things. What isn't a caper?
7:22
Look at what a caper is. I'm Googling it right now.
7:24
I'm not a huge fan of capers personally, seeing the little
7:27
brown green things. Well, those could be fish
7:32
capers. Are the tiny pickled immature
7:34
flowers flower buds of the caparas Spinoza shrub native to
7:40
the Mediterranean? No, Ashley doesn't like them
7:43
either and I don't. I think I've had them before and
7:45
I also did not care for them. But what I do know?
7:49
But that's our sauce. Is that I was also, I was on the
7:51
same mindset as you, a sleuth and I as the, as you know, and
7:58
so and probably everybody because I had one good joke.
8:01
And so then I told it to everyone.
8:02
And so now it's, I think everybody's kind of over it, and
8:06
me by extension. I was sick.
8:10
You got me sick. I did.
8:12
Thanks for nothing. I apologize.
8:14
We probably already talked. About that, it was my fault.
8:17
Maybe I said this in the last podcast.
8:19
Did I say this? I have no idea.
8:20
What you're going to, I don't know.
8:22
Well, I listen, I'm having the whole thing.
8:25
But when I get sick, I turn into my alter ego.
8:27
Jerry Attrick. OK, it's true.
8:30
Jerry Attrick. She is an old woman and she
8:32
watches old lady daytime television shows such as Murder
8:37
She Wrote. OK, so that's what I was
8:40
watching when I was sick And. And now I was here's the thing.
8:43
I was like, oh, well, like Murder She Wrote was got like
8:45
five seasons. Oh, I'll just like finish it.
8:48
I was into Season 3 at the time. Yeah.
8:50
Well, you don't have no five seasons.
8:53
You want to guess how many seasons of murders?
8:55
She wrote there are, so I'm going to guess it's more than
8:58
five. Yeah, OK, let's just double it.
9:03
10 season. There's twelve seasons of
9:05
murder, She wrote. That's a.
9:06
That's a long time. That's a long time and nature.
9:10
She saw the lot. Jared B Fletcher.
9:12
Everywhere she went, there were murders.
9:15
And no one got suspicious. Actually I just watched episode
9:19
she was she was picked up and and she was held in a jail cell.
9:23
Oh my God. For those who don't know, Murder
9:26
She Wrote is is a 80s murder mystery show starring Angela
9:31
Lansbury is the author JB Fletcher who writes murder
9:34
mystery novels and then solves crime.
9:37
That's pretty good synopsis. I think just off the Dome, I
9:41
personally adore Angela Lansbury.
9:44
I grew up watching The Murder She Wrote whenever I was sick
9:47
and had to stay. Home with my grandma.
9:51
Oh yeah, Little little murder, She wrote.
9:53
Little diagnosis. Murder.
9:55
Little Matlock. In The End of the Night with
10:00
Chuck Norris. Walker, Texas Ranger did.
10:03
You watch that. One that was later that kind of
10:06
shifted what the Dell the the daytime TV shows were watch the
10:10
price is right loud Graham show network.
10:12
I was very good at lingo. You were good.
10:14
You guys are good at work. At work we.
10:16
We like, I love, I love a a good game.
10:18
I've cheered for the whammies on Press Your Luck.
10:21
That's true. That's true good times.
10:22
You would watch game shows at over at Moma's too, but she
10:26
would put on she would put on the Disney movies for.
10:29
You yeah it correct. Yeah, Grandma Holly had like 8
10:32
movies at her house. Legit and one of them was
10:34
homeward. Bound.
10:34
Yep, watched a lot of Homeward Bound.
10:37
Homeward Bound, I don't know if you haven't seen Homeward Bound.
10:40
Abby's probably favorite movie as a child, I think is what is
10:43
it. It's a cat and two dogs trying
10:45
to get back home because the family moved.
10:48
Or something. Yeah, the the golden.
10:51
There's a golden retriever named Shadow.
10:52
There's a Pitbull, kind of makes name Chance.
10:55
And then there's a little fluffy cat.
10:56
Her name is Sassy. Yes, OK.
10:58
I think it's Sally Field is sassy and I think Michael J Fox
11:01
is the Pitbull. Yeah.
11:04
I couldn't tell you who. Shadow, I can hear his voice.
11:06
I can hear his voice. It's a great voice.
11:08
But keep, keep Shadow. And yeah, Abby watched that
11:13
movie so much she could like. Just let me down, I haven't seen
11:17
this movie. Just be clear, I haven't seen
11:19
this movie in like 2 decades and I just listed the names of the
11:23
animals in the movie. That's.
11:25
Pretty good. Who was?
11:26
Shadow Don Amici Don amici, I'm I'm so sorry.
11:29
Oh, my God. What's wrong with you?
11:32
Unhappy that you said that that way anyway.
11:34
OK, moving on. Yeah.
11:35
The one point where the the. What's his name?
11:41
What's the Pitbull? Nick's name?
11:42
Chance. Chance gets blasted by a
11:46
porcupine, Right? He gets a porcupine into the
11:50
muzzle and they have to pull the little spikes out of him and
11:55
he's laying on the on the table and he's.
11:59
These animals can talk, but humans can't hear them.
12:00
They can talk to each other though.
12:03
He's crying to beat the band and he says, what does he say?
12:06
Just. Let me die.
12:08
And that was one of his favorite parts.
12:11
Because when she was. Little You were really little
12:14
when this cat movie came out. Everybody little around Sansa.
12:18
Well, she's very furry. Like our Domino, Actually I
12:22
would. I think I was clipping your
12:23
toenails and you were very unhappy with me and you rolled
12:26
on the floor and yelled just. Let me die.
12:30
OK, we've watched this movie, but probably a bit too much.
12:34
We won't spoil it for you. We won't let you know if the
12:36
animals make it home or not. You'll have to watch Homeward.
12:38
Bound We hadn't even told you. We hadn't even told I tell you
12:41
the part. I just this this Googling these
12:44
things. I just remembered the part where
12:46
she's in the water and I I'm so sad at the idea of that.
12:50
And I'm pretty sure that's a puppet.
12:51
I don't think they actually were drowning a real cat who knows
12:54
the CGI back then when this movie came out.
12:59
Are you you're? What year did this movie come?
13:01
Out this movie came out 1990. 60 Wow.
13:07
Yeah, it could happen. Who knows?
13:10
Oh, just kidding, 1993 I think it was.
13:15
Maybe a little puppet cat. That movie came.
13:16
Out when you were born. That's wild.
13:18
Yep, and then there's a home we're bound to in 1996, Yeah.
13:22
I don't recall Stop. Letting your animals out.
13:24
Exactly what are you doing? Stop.
13:26
Getting your animals lost so they have to find their way of
13:28
God. Damn Christ, so but so, Mercy
13:35
wrote. So you decide you're going to go
13:37
ahead and watch all twelve seasons.
13:38
Yeah, well, we'll see if I watch all twelve seasons.
13:40
But y'all now but. I'm in season 5.
13:43
You're in Season 5. OK, OK.
13:45
I here's the thing, I adore Angela Lansburg, right?
13:48
Of course Missus Potts and whatnot.
13:51
I think that she's of course an excellent singer, went on.
13:54
I know she was in Sweeney Todd and I grew up with Helena Bonham
13:58
Carter playing the Missus Lovitz.
14:01
That was the. First time I saw Sweeney Todd
14:02
was Helen Bowen. Carter I agree on that role.
14:04
Yes, she Angela Lansbury was did it on on Broadway or yeah, cool.
14:10
Good for her. Yeah, she was she was very
14:13
different. She's more like a a cogney kind
14:16
of thing, but she he's the Anna Landsberg cracks me up because
14:21
she's so like very well put together and so prim and proper
14:25
and then to do. But then she yes, seems.
14:29
So a lot of character. On the show she has.
14:32
On murder, She wrote. On Murder, She Wrote.
14:34
OK, she has these alter egos that she does sometimes.
14:39
Sometimes she's like undercover. Sometimes it's Angela Lansbury
14:44
playing a different character entirely.
14:46
Are you for real? It's like it's her cousin who
14:49
has a Call Me accent. She's big on the stage in in
14:52
written and she talks like this and this is a character.
14:56
There was a whole episode we didn't even see JB Fletcher.
14:59
It was just Angel Lansbury playing the other woman.
15:02
Yes, I'll be damned. I it's so she cracks me up.
15:06
I got to find you a photo. Absolutely cracks me up.
15:08
Yes. What a career, right?
15:12
Yes, yeah, I got to find the one.
15:15
The first thing I think I ever saw her in was Bedknobs and
15:18
Broomsticks, which what a great movie.
15:21
The boy that's an old one. So, so great.
15:24
And then but then all the way up to she's in, I think one of her
15:28
last roles she did was in Nanny McPhee.
15:32
I'll. Tell you you know what you will
15:34
know what her last role was wasn't that it was 1.
15:37
I said one of them no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
15:39
But but you will know it's glass onion.
15:43
Oh yeah, because she's on the Zoom call.
15:46
Because it's like COVID you. Fucking.
15:49
She had just passed away. I mean, she had just passed away
15:54
like days earlier. And we're watching this.
15:56
We're like, Oh my God, Angel Lansbury and you go, do you
16:01
think? That they filmed this before or
16:03
after. She passed away.
16:05
OK, all right, smart ass. Now listen, in my defense, I was
16:13
wondering if they had put it together or finished it like
16:18
they did with the Star Wars when what's what's her name had
16:25
passed away. Yes.
16:28
Tell me, what's her name? This is.
16:30
Terrible. Princess Leia, who is played by
16:32
Carrie Fisher. Carrie.
16:33
Well, Carrie Fisher. Passed away.
16:34
They had made like what, the first movie and then they were
16:37
making the second one and they put pieced together.
16:42
They had a few clips of her and they pieced together and they
16:45
used like the generative kind of thing to finish the movie.
16:49
The bits, yeah, they need. It and so I was like, oh, I
16:52
wonder if. That's what I was.
16:55
Wondering not dud did they feel that they were?
16:58
Undercover, this is where. You got to lie.
17:00
Oh my God, I love her so. She's a very versatile,
17:03
versatile actress I'll send this to.
17:06
You. Yeah, we'll.
17:07
Post a picture of her with playing her playing her cousin
17:09
in. This isn't the cousin.
17:11
This isn't the cousin. This is Jay.
17:12
This is Jessica Fletcher, undercover.
17:16
Oh, she's undercover in that role.
17:18
OK, gotcha. No, no, I, I wanted to know if
17:21
they, you know, I thought, did they film the whole thing before
17:23
she passed away or did they have to finish it with, you know.
17:26
She's in a very small cameo role.
17:29
Yes. Is she in the second one, the
17:30
glass onion one or the 1st? One glass onion because it's
17:32
that one takes place. The only reason I know is
17:34
because Glass onion takes place during COVID and they are.
17:40
He's in the bathtub, like playing some game online.
17:45
He's playing, he's playing the like Among Us game.
17:49
Do you know what this game is where it's like you, you it's
17:53
you drop. It's kind of like new with the
17:55
board game, the thing that we play and somebody's an imposter,
17:58
OK? But it's like on your phone and
17:59
you kind of walk around, you're like these little astronaut
18:01
guys. And if you're the imposter,
18:03
you're trying to kill the other people.
18:05
And then somebody can like call a meeting and then they, they
18:07
can eject somebody into space if they think that they're the
18:09
impostor. OK, OK.
18:12
And so it's, it's a whole thing. They're playing this game and,
18:18
and the, the detective and the all the people on the call have
18:22
are, are like actors and actresses and whatnot.
18:25
And Andrew Lansbury is one of the ones that is on the call
18:28
playing this game with him. That's hilarious.
18:30
So. OK, very good.
18:32
I did not know. OK, yes, but but no, I, I have
18:38
learned some things about Angel Lansbury and, and murder, She
18:44
Wrote and whatnot that I, I was going to share because I was
18:47
like, oh, I didn't know that. And I thought it was, I thought
18:51
it was really cute. She let's see.
18:57
So like the biggest thing that I saw that was just kind of like
18:59
really heartwarming. Is that it?
19:03
People have claimed that she would hire golden age actors cuz
19:13
Angela Lansbury was more than just like the lead role.
19:16
She also worked as like a producer and things like that on
19:18
the show as well. And so she, they, the claim was
19:23
that she was bringing like golden age actors on.
19:27
So people who like weren't getting a lot of work, she would
19:31
bring them on so that they would hit their union points and they
19:34
would be able to stay in the thing.
19:35
Now, I don't know that that's true.
19:37
I don't know it's it's unconfirmed.
19:39
Well, it seems like something she would do, right?
19:41
What we do know is that Madeline Rue was an actress and she
19:48
passed away in 2003. She was, she was young.
19:51
Very, She's way too young. But Lansbury had reportedly
19:56
heard that Rue was in danger of losing her screen her SAG Screen
20:00
Actors Guild medical coverage because she was short of meeting
20:03
the annual earnings requirement. So she created a librarian
20:09
character and brought her in every 3 or 4 episodes so that
20:15
she could meet the quota and stay on, but she wouldn't have
20:18
to like do a whole lot. And whatnot.
20:21
And so that was it it, it was this, it was reported in in this
20:29
woman's like obituary that she had done this for her and helped
20:34
her stay on her coverage. I know it's really, really nice.
20:40
I know I love, I love Angel Amber, right?
20:43
Like you don't, you don't have, you don't have to do that, but
20:45
it's like, you know, a nice thing if you do.
20:48
I thought that was. I just thought that was really.
20:50
Cute. I think that's really sweet.
20:52
But yeah, no. But I hope you're enjoying the
20:56
Murder She Wrote marathon or binging or whatever.
20:59
You want Did you know that they made four TV?
21:01
Movies, No. Yep, did not know that.
21:04
Yep, who knew? There's also a whole book
21:06
series. I never do, you know, I never
21:08
watched that show, but my mom did faithfully.
21:11
She really liked it. She, she's always liked Angela
21:14
Lansbury told my mom just the other day, Yeah, I said, Oh
21:19
yeah, he's watching Murder She Wrote.
21:22
And my mom says, oh, I never really liked that show.
21:24
I never watched it. I was like.
21:26
What? What?
21:27
I literally said what? I exactly like that.
21:29
I was like, are you I I didn't say, are you crazy?
21:32
She has dementia. I did not say it.
21:35
What are you talking about? You watch the Mercury role all
21:40
the time. You used to like that show.
21:42
She's like, well, I don't like it now.
21:46
She's got no taste and I'll tell her that to her face.
21:49
Crying. I'm crying.
21:51
Yvonne, get her on the phone. It's.
21:53
The same, you know, it's the same woman who said I love
21:56
Johnny Mathis, but I am the Bee Gees, so you know.
22:01
She really likes. You, you never know what she's
22:04
going to, what's going to come out of her mouth.
22:05
And I've had to order all kinds of Bee Gees concerts off of
22:09
Amazon and now Amazon things that I really like the Bee Gees
22:14
and they keep suggesting them and I'm not happy about that.
22:17
I don't really appreciate it. I'm like, stop suggesting the
22:20
Bee Gees, will ya? Amazon something not not buying
22:26
any more Bee Gees. I got enough man God bless.
22:30
OK, I did hear a really cool tip that I wanted to share with you,
22:35
and I plan to start doing this exact thing the next time you
22:40
want to try starting to maybe declutter your home.
22:45
OK, the the, the new hack is to whenever you're invited to
22:50
someone else's house, you take an item and just leave it.
22:57
I'm like, that's so smart. You could just take some little
23:01
thing and just leave it at their house and they'll be like, when
23:05
did we get this? I think I personally, I
23:09
personally think that we should start doing this friends.
23:12
So look, feel free to leave things at my house.
23:14
I will leave things at your. I can't see it at my.
23:15
Mom's house, because my mom's already has way too much crap in
23:17
there, so I could successfully do it there.
23:20
You could take her stuff and leave it elsewhere.
23:22
I need what I that's what I need to do.
23:23
I need to start taking their. And you could go to like public
23:26
places. You know what I mean.
23:28
Start leaving at different libraries and stuff.
23:30
You could just like go to the. Flea market and you're like
23:32
looking like oh, oh, oh, just getting.
23:34
To their table. Yeah, that's a great idea.
23:37
It wouldn't. Go we couldn't.
23:38
You think they're going to be upset if they sell things?
23:41
Not even a little bit. I'm not stealing.
23:43
I'm giving you something that you can now sell.
23:45
I could work on like my little sleight of hand, right?
23:48
Absolutely. How good am I going to get it
23:50
and leaving my crap on people's teeth?
23:53
Sometimes, sometimes planting things you.
23:56
Go to you go to yard saleing, you just go out yard saleing and
24:00
just leave your crap all over. You don't even have to leave it.
24:03
You could be like, oh wow, like, hey, how much is this?
24:08
You, you just are holding an item and they're like, you know,
24:14
but you're asking about it and they're like.
24:18
It's too steep in my blood, like. 100% you don't even have
24:24
the sleight of hand. You can legit you can just pull
24:27
your price. Something you could out of my
24:29
trench coat. Just go walk it up.
24:33
Yeah. How much for this ashtray?
24:40
I don't know, but my parents might.
24:43
We were. We went to deer.
24:44
Birds yesterday listen to Erica and I did to get lunch and we
24:48
we're walking down this thing and on the right is like the
24:50
booze and on the left it's like the the like high end booze
24:54
that's like locked up or whatever.
24:55
And on the left is a little cigar case.
24:57
And I said cigars. I've been thinking of taking up
25:02
smoking Which which is it? I got Erica.
25:07
Oh my God, that one. OK, that's actually awesome.
25:11
I was going to tell you about real quickly we went, Liv and I
25:15
went to the Chinese Festival at the Missouri Botanical Gardens.
25:22
It was a real treat. We had a great day.
25:25
Luckily we had it rained in the morning and we got there just in
25:28
time for the rain to be done. And so it was, it was really,
25:31
really fun. And this year, this is what I
25:35
learned. This is exciting news that I
25:36
learned while I was there. This year is the year of the
25:41
horse. I am also a horse and so.
25:46
Oh no, beat yourself up. I'm pretty excited.
25:48
It's my year, it's your year. Turns out we learned from this
25:53
gentleman who was selling some little little stuffed horses and
25:57
they were all kinds of different.
25:58
They were the, the material they were made out of is really,
26:00
pretty, really pretty patterns. I'll post a picture of the
26:02
horse. We, we bought one of the horses.
26:03
OK, Liv is also a horse, so we we're.
26:07
Making that face and. We're mattress and so the the
26:12
gentleman was telling us about how not only is there like an
26:16
animal sign each year, but then there's also an element that is
26:22
assigned as well each year. So like air?
26:25
How interesting water. Wood fire, everything changes.
26:30
The fire which is attached, attached is that all of them,
26:35
earth, earth, earth, air, water, wood fire.
26:38
OK, so the elements come around every or I don't know if it's
26:45
all of them, but he's like this year is the you're the fire
26:49
horse. Oh, and it comes around every 60
26:52
years. So and you're so you've seen two
26:56
of them. So I'm a fire horse because my
26:59
year would have been 60 years ago.
27:02
Are you 60 this year? Will be 60 this year?
27:05
Devastating. So Liv goes, Liv, Liv, Liv
27:08
turns, looks at me. She goes, mom, you're a fire
27:11
horse. And I'm like, what?
27:13
Really not even picking up on the fact that he just said it
27:17
happens every six years and she's like, yes, 1966 would be
27:24
60 years ago. And I go really like I the math
27:28
was not mathing in my head. It was not working because I'm
27:31
in my head. I went well from 2000 to 60s.
27:35
Wouldn't that be six years? I'm like, no, she's like, no,
27:38
that would've been like 40 years, mom, like, hello.
27:41
It was just it was not clicking. You can't have it's not
27:44
clicking, Steven. And it was not, it was not even.
27:48
And all of a sudden it's not even like, oh, duh, just look at
27:51
my age clearly. And so the guy, he was looking,
27:54
I was making him confused as well.
27:57
And then finally I'm just like. Oh, I'm a fire.
27:59
Horse. He was just like, please just
28:02
buy a horse. Please, please buy a horse.
28:05
So it's it's so we did. Oh, it's wood is not one.
28:09
I don't think it is 'cause Sam is a wood pig.
28:12
Oh, got her. So it's OK.
28:14
Fire, earth, gold, gold, water and wood.
28:19
OK, interesting. No air.
28:21
No air. I thought you said air.
28:23
I don't know but. Live as a water horse, of
28:27
course. She is Aquarius.
28:29
Very what? Very appropriate.
28:32
We looked up yours. What did we find out?
28:34
Hold on, hold on. Nobody.
28:35
Tell me. Don't tell me.
28:35
I'm going to look. I'm a water.
28:37
Cock right is what you are. I'm a water rooster.
28:45
What's Ashley 'cause she's not the same year as you?
28:48
She is a oh, metal, not gold. She's a metal sheep.
28:52
He, he actually called it gold. But then we when we looked gold
28:55
sheep, it did say. It did say She's what?
28:58
She's not a she's a gold sheep. Yep.
29:00
Well, she's two years older than me.
29:01
OK. Your dad is a.
29:03
Your dad? Well, sheep are ram.
29:04
I've heard it said both ways. That's a goat.
29:06
Even I don't know what. I really don't know what it is.
29:09
Yeah, your dad is a ram as well. But I don't know what?
29:13
He's 67. I don't know what.
29:14
Oh well, I'll tell you Fire. He is also fire.
29:18
Look at that also fire. OK, gotcha.
29:20
My mom is a dragon, which is very cool.
29:24
Yeah, the Dragons are the coolest.
29:26
What year is she, 19? Not me, say it.
29:32
Liv says that you are not a water, you are wood.
29:36
No, you're a Woodcock. No, I'm fucking not a Woodcock.
29:40
Nice try, she says. Yes, you are.
29:42
You have to look at I'm looking at it. 1993 Water.
29:46
Well, see The thing is it's when the years it's not January 1 to
29:51
January, I understand. That whatever I think that
29:54
they've I think that the the site that I'm looking at that is
29:57
making the claims you're you're you're a horse. 1966 fire.
30:02
Got it. Boom, Dad's also fire boom.
30:04
Got it, 'cause you guys are 66 to 67.
30:08
Yeah. So I'm not I'm I am water.
30:11
And it doesn't go from January 1 to December 31st, it starts like
30:14
January 31st or something, right?
30:16
Depends on the it's the changes. The the IT seems like the
30:20
elements according to the chart that I'm looking at, yes, are
30:24
switching every two years. OK, so for example in let's just
30:32
start here in 20. Where'd it go?
30:40
I gotta go back to the tub. In 2020 it was a metal rat, 2021
30:48
was a metal ox, 2022 was a water tiger, 2023 was a water rabbit,
30:52
and so on, so forth. OK, OK 222 So that is why I am a
30:59
wood. Nope.
31:00
Water rooster in 9392 would have been a water monkey. 94 is a
31:06
wood dog. 95 is a wood pig. OK, if you were born in in 91,
31:13
you are a metal sheep. As I already said Ashley, if
31:17
you're in 1990, you're a a wood. Nope, sorry.
31:21
You're a metal horse and. Trying to see OK.
31:26
I was gonna, I was gonna give. Where did I get you?
31:30
I know I was trying to get for the readers.
31:33
Go ahead. 96 was a fire rat, 97 was a fire ox, 98 was an earth
31:38
tiger, 99 was an earth rabbit, 2000 was a metal dragon, and
31:44
2001 was a metal snake. If your birth year doesn't fall
31:48
in any of those years, I've tried.
31:51
Well, you'll have to. You can Google.
31:53
I it's worth a Google. I listed a year for all of them
31:56
from 19/19/90 on and I even a couple 60s in there in case we
32:02
got. There we go, some some oldies
32:04
like you listening. Thank you.
32:05
I appreciate that so many us oldies.
32:09
We appreciate you thinking of us well.
32:11
You know what? I live to serve.
32:13
Awesome, I live to serve. Awesome.
32:17
What else you got? Well, let me see you got.
32:19
Anything else I do have a story I have to tell you.
32:22
I've I've got a short like I had short another little fun fact
32:30
that I learned. So here's the thing.
32:34
This was posted nine years ago, but I saw a thing about it just
32:38
the other day and then I looked looked this up to confirm it for
32:41
the podcast. So I didn't say something
32:42
stupid. This is no longer right.
32:45
This is no longer true. And I have the updated facts.
32:49
So nine years ago, what would you say?
32:54
Let me get off of this page. What would you say is the
32:58
longest work of literary fiction?
33:01
The longest work? The longest work?
33:03
Just throw some down like. Page numbers or words?
33:07
Probably it's words. I guess it would.
33:08
Be words. I mean, you might be.
33:10
Both. Well, words.
33:11
Because you could. You could change your font,
33:12
right? So it's words.
33:14
Words like war and peace, I don't know.
33:18
Right. OK, so it's not that, but for
33:22
over the last decade, the record for the longest literary fiction
33:26
has been held exclusively by fan fiction.
33:30
Legit. Yes, because you can write and
33:35
post it online and that counts 'cause it's literary fiction.
33:38
I guess it is. And, and listen, this is me.
33:41
This is, I'm not knocking this at all, just to be clear.
33:45
I just, I just think that it's funny, but nine years ago, the
33:49
longest work of fiction was Super Smash Brothers fiction.
33:54
If you know what the Super Smash Brothers called the Subspace
33:58
Emissaries World's Conquest, that is 4,000,000 words long and
34:03
spans 220 chapters. As of now, that is twice as long
34:07
as the longest novel, Men of Goodwill by Jules Roman, which
34:11
is 2,070,000 words long. That's really long to be.
34:18
Yeah. To be clear, I, you know, I've
34:21
been working on my book. My book right now is like 58,000
34:25
words. OK.
34:27
It's just shy. 60 to 70,000 is like your average novel kind of
34:32
thing. Yeah.
34:32
So that's like your average novel.
34:34
So this is this is fucking 4,000,000 words long.
34:40
That was nine years ago. So that was nine years ago.
34:45
So that has been surpassed. OK.
34:49
Because now the longest work of fiction is widely considered.
34:56
Because I guess in theory we there might be something out
34:59
there that's longer we just don't know about.
35:01
But it's widely considered to be the fan fiction.
35:03
Of course. The Loud House revamped written
35:07
by James James Dean 5842. That's the that's our username
35:11
now. I don't know if you know what
35:12
the Loud House is. I didn't and had to look it up.
35:14
The Loud House The Loud House is an animated show that aired on
35:18
Nickelodeon. I recognize the name of it.
35:20
I don't think I ever watched that though.
35:21
No, it was this was kind of like after our time, but yeah, this
35:27
this this show inspired the longest work of of fan fiction.
35:32
Now, I just told you 9 years ago, 4 million was the longest
35:37
of the Super Smash Bros. Give me what you think this
35:41
without looking. Give me what you how many words
35:43
you think that this is? It's obviously over 4 million.
35:46
Well. Correct, nothing gets by you.
35:51
6,000,006 million. It is spanning.
35:55
They're estimated approximately 31 to 35,000,000 words.
36:01
What? OK.
36:10
Oh, well, now this says, oh, my phone gun.
36:14
Well, that can't be right 'cause that would be too short.
36:16
Yeah, No, it is. Yeah, no, it's 34 million.
36:23
Oh, as of two years ago, this, this information, I was already
36:26
2 years old. So it's already longer, probably
36:29
34,754,159 words. It is updated daily.
36:36
Somebody is adding to this every single day.
36:38
Oh. My gosh, and it's so long now
36:43
that you could like, how long would it take you to if you
36:45
started now to read it like that's Oh, no idea, no idea.
36:50
I would never make it. I would die.
36:52
No, like you would have. You would be doing nothing.
36:56
You would just be writing. It's this person's like full
36:59
time job basically. It's what they do.
37:00
It is over 2000 chapters. Oh, sorry, update.
37:04
Now it's over 2000 chapters, 37 million words.
37:09
Yeah, so we got that going for us.
37:15
But yeah, no, it's, it's the most insane.
37:22
Wow. OK, that's but yeah, dude, it's
37:25
just basically somebody, somebody made like an original
37:27
character and kind of just self inserted into the thing and
37:30
that's that's all it is there. And then that's not all she
37:33
wrote, 'cause it's just don't worry, you're damn straight.
37:36
That's not all she wrote. Oh my gosh, OK, that's wild.
37:41
That's wild and wacky stuff. Well, I was thinking about the
37:50
whole time Liv is trying to convince me that I am a fire
37:56
horse, because the math checks out, that it's been 60 years,
38:03
right? I was like, God, that was really
38:07
dumb that I was really, really having a a dumb moment.
38:11
Like I don't want to call it a blonde moment because all
38:13
blondes are not dumb. And that's that's not very nice,
38:15
but but Yikes, maybe having a senior moment.
38:18
I don't know if you want to call it, but it was really dumb.
38:21
And I thought, well, I need to everybody's done some dumb stuff
38:24
in their life. I think everybody right.
38:27
Well, yeah, I mean. I would never go on a record and
38:30
say that I've done done things. Would never hurry up and go get
38:33
her oil change before she went to work in the morning because
38:35
you're going like. You I think that's happened to
38:39
people. I could see that happening to
38:42
somebody who's responsible and just time got away from her and
38:48
you know, other things. Possible that the valley opens
38:54
at 7:00. Not all of them.
38:56
Not all of them. Again, that might happen to
38:59
someone, but I thought I but I would never admit that it
39:01
happened. To me, no, never, never have me.
39:03
Today I thought I would share some really dumb things that I
39:06
found and I haven't said the words.
39:10
Here's the skinny, here's the scoop, here's the poop in a long
39:12
time. And I thought, oh man, gone off
39:15
the rails. So here's my skinny, here's my
39:17
scoop, here's my poop. But it's going to be, it's going
39:18
to be a mishmash of things. A dude who was lost while hiking
39:23
didn't answer his cell phone when people were looking for him
39:26
because he didn't recognize the number.
39:30
Imagine that. Well, yeah.
39:31
Same, same. You gotta answer your phone.
39:35
No, you're lost. You think he thinks he's lost?
39:42
OK, he was lost. Apparently.
39:44
I mean, I would let it go to voicemail now.
39:46
Are those people leaving voicemails?
39:48
Because I would then check my voicemail.
39:50
Because later they were like, why didn't you answer the phone
39:52
like? Why didn't you leave a
39:54
voicemail? Why didn't you leave a
39:56
voicemail? Oh.
39:57
My gosh. OK, here's another 1A high
40:00
school. This this person tells is
40:02
telling us that the brother-in-law had a high school
40:05
girlfriend. Girlfriend who seriously thought
40:08
Abraham Lincoln was the first black president?
40:11
Because he was on a brown penny and the mother in
40:39
Italian's not real. Oh, apparently.
40:41
Well. Yeah, you heard it here first.
40:43
These are more headlines there's.
40:46
Dumb things that. People I see, I see just dumb
40:48
when when you say when you say the skinny, the scoop, the poop,
40:51
I'm expecting like that guy that was wearing the gold chain got
40:53
his ass bit by the shark. This is on.
40:54
This is a throwback to like the first like one of the first.
40:57
Episodes. I do have one.
40:59
I do have one. Well, I heard the story.
41:01
I will interrupt myself to tell you the story.
41:03
OK? A man, a husband and a wife are
41:07
from Minnesota and they were just super cold, having a really
41:12
cold winter day. Could have been summer day, You
41:16
never know. It's Minnesota.
41:17
It's true. And they were like, you know,
41:19
just really are kind of tired of these really, really, really
41:21
cold days. And so they decide to kind of
41:24
take an impromptu trip to Florida, Like let's go to
41:27
Florida, Let's get some warm, sunny days, you know, and just
41:32
kind of rejuvenate before we come back, you know, for the
41:34
winter. And so it was kind of, like I
41:36
said, spur of the moment. So they and then were making
41:40
arrangements and they actually found out that the they had
41:42
stayed there in Florida for their honeymoon and they found
41:44
that the hotel is still there. So like, well, let's go back.
41:47
It's been 20 years. Let's go back and and stay at
41:51
the same hotel. I'll be checking the reviews.
41:53
1st but since it was well true in the bed bug reports, but you
41:56
know, it's always always the since it was kind of impromptu,
42:02
they couldn't get on the same flight.
42:05
And so he decides he's going to go ahead.
42:07
He flies out first and she's going to come down the next day.
42:10
OK And so he gets down there and everything's uneventful.
42:16
Fine, He gets to the room, he gets the hotel, everything looks
42:19
great, rooms good. He sends her, shoots her an
42:21
e-mail because she has decided she's going to go ahead and work
42:24
that day anyway since she can't go down to the next day.
42:27
And so he sends her an e-mail. Unfortunately, he left a letter
42:32
out of her e-mail and he misspelled it and the e-mail
42:36
went to someone else. Oh, the e-mail went to a lady
42:40
who had just buried her husband who was a minister and she was
42:44
in Houston. Oh my goodness.
42:46
And she literally funeral that day, goes home and she's going
42:51
to check her e-mail because there's life insurance stuff and
42:54
whatever she's checking got to check her e-mail.
42:56
She opens her e-mail and she has this e-mail from this guy.
43:00
And she's like, I don't really know this, but you know, it
43:02
could maybe it could be a friend sending condolences, who knows,
43:05
who knows? She opens e-mail and it says my
43:08
loving wife, I gotta move around.
43:12
How this goes to my loving wife. I have arrived
43:27
the woman. I'm kidding, I.
43:38
Tried to imagine I tried to imagine being like inconsolable
43:46
agreement. I've just lost my partner right
43:50
OK, I'm just married Ashley or Creed made it unclear.
43:54
Oh, no, no at. This time you've married for 50
43:57
years. You've lost your your loving
44:00
husband who who it turns out was a Mr. Right there you go.
44:03
She falls over. She falls over and faints.
44:07
She. Reads this to my loving wife.
44:08
I have arrived, everything is great.
44:13
I have prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
44:20
I hope your trip is as uneventful as mine was.
44:27
PS It's really hot down here. There it is.
44:33
It is. Real.
44:36
It's not real. There's no.
44:39
Hey joke like. You.
44:42
Were set it up. You were set it up.
44:45
I didn't pray good. I pray.
44:46
I got you. I got you.
44:48
That was awesome. That was.
44:50
I didn't think you would. I didn't think you would let me
44:52
get that far. Like why would he send his wife
44:54
an e-mail? I'm not sure that no.
44:55
Well. I listen.
44:56
I don't put anything past the boomers, but anything pass the
45:01
oldies. That's the oldie I'm hoping a
45:05
boomer, but I'm still a little oldie, I know.
45:08
Oh. My God that's why I said both.
45:09
I I wouldn't make sure I hit both.
45:11
Oh man, OK, that was pretty good.
45:13
I didn't think I'd get you that good.
45:15
That was absolutely awesome. I loved it.
45:17
PS It's really hot down here, the poor woman.
45:21
I don't know if she died or not, but that was pretty awesome.
45:27
You got anything else? You want to hear the rest of my
45:28
dumb stories? I have I've got a you know what
45:31
I have is like the leftovers beef was pretty good because
45:35
this feels like leftovers a little bit now sometimes the
45:38
Today I learned are very good because I got I got to tell you
45:40
about some are really good. Tom of the Cat.
45:43
Legit, I love that. Or I learned some a new fun fact
45:47
like a legit fact that's pretty cool.
45:49
Here's a. Little I'm gonna give you a
45:51
little loophole now. I think I have to assume that
45:54
they've changed this ever since. OK, but this person wrote.
45:59
Today I learned a man noticed a loophole in a lottery called
46:03
Windfall. When the jackpot hit $5,000,000
46:06
and had no winner, it was split between those who matched 3-4
46:10
and five numbers. If he spent $1100 on 1100
46:15
tickets, he'd have 1/4 number ticket, 14 number winner and 18
46:23
three number winners earning $800 profit.
46:28
Assuming that like you know, nobody else like wanted on one.
46:33
He netted 7 point $77.75 million / 9 years doing this.
46:40
Are you for real? That's what it says, that's what
46:42
the man says. He's got it right here.
46:43
Got a little link? Damn, this is looks like this is
46:48
in California. OK.
46:49
Oh, no, this Michigan. Sorry.
46:52
The the website, thewebsitesays.ca.
46:55
So. So I thought it was like
46:58
California or Canada, but it is this Michigan couple.
47:01
So yeah, no Michigan. They've undoubtedly changed the
47:06
rules now, but I would think, OK, go ahead.
47:10
You give me, you give me one, I'll give you one.
47:12
OK, Yours are gonna be funny. Mine are are gonna be kinda
47:16
kooky. I think that wouldn't be funny.
47:19
I don't know. We'll see.
47:20
I'm just we'll see how if these are funny or not.
47:23
I don't know. I don't.
47:24
Know, let's see this one, says a fellow student in a 100 person
47:29
science lecture hall told the professor she didn't fully
47:34
believe in evolution. Her answer is because I've never
47:38
seen any species evolve. She's never seen it.
47:42
So wow, OK. Boy, all right, here you go.
47:49
OK, today I learned the sunfish in a Japanese aquarium became so
47:53
lonely after the aquarium closed to visitors for renovations that
47:56
it stopped eating. Only after staff placed photos
48:01
of people's faces near its tank did the sunfish perk up and
48:04
start eating again. Oh well, good, is it?
48:08
He was lonely. Oh, he was a lonely little fish.
48:14
That's too normal. Here's here's.
48:17
They put the little. Face look at those little
48:19
outfits they put on. The hangers on the back, I'm
48:23
dead. And then he's like, OK, Then he
48:25
perked up. Start eating again and I'll eat
48:27
now. Yeah, that's too adorable.
48:29
Isn't that cute? My our little Kitty domino
48:34
whenever family Dom. Family Dom.
48:36
Whenever she gets cold, she wants to come and snuggle up
48:39
with you. OK, She doesn't like being cold.
48:42
And so it's been kind of cool lately.
48:44
And so she's been snuggling up with me quite a bit and it is
48:50
adorable and of course I love it.
48:52
But have you ever have you ever had a cat?
48:56
When they sleep with you then you feel like you cannot move?
49:00
Well, that I think that would be everybody when a cat falls
49:02
asleep on them ever. Yeah.
49:03
You're like, you're like terrified to move because I
49:06
don't want her to leave, right? I want to stay with me.
49:09
Keeps lovely with me so I can't move.
49:11
So then I'm like awake, I'm not sleeping, you know, or then I'm
49:15
like, oh God, oh God, I'm gonna start getting the legs.
49:17
I've been with my legs in a long time.
49:19
The start getting. Jumping.
49:21
It's tough being a chosen 10. My gosh, it really, really is.
49:25
And then finally I'm like, OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
49:27
I got to shift. I got to shift just a little
49:28
bit. She's like ruined.
49:29
It just jumps down. I'm like, oh, OK, OK.
49:33
I stretch out, stretch out, you know?
49:34
Then she goes back because she's still cold, you know, and I'm
49:36
like, you'll be back. I've got all the, I've got all
49:39
the body warmth that you're requiring.
49:43
You'll be back. So it's been really cute cause
49:48
but then she, this morning she, I guess I stuck my leg out of
49:55
the covers. And so then she has to attack
49:58
it. It was like, oh, what's this?
50:01
This is out of the covers. I see a foot here.
50:05
I got to get it, I got to get it, got to get him.
50:07
And I'm like, get off of my foot.
50:10
What are you doing? You know, and every now and then
50:11
I get a little, get the teeth, you know, like, stop that, Stop
50:14
that. But I don't want to kick her.
50:16
So I fling the covers back over. And I just, like, cover her up
50:19
with me. And she's under there.
50:20
And then she's like, freezes. She doesn't move.
50:24
She just freezes. And then I let the covers up and
50:26
I look at her and I'm like, are you done?
50:28
Are you done? Yeah.
50:29
Are you done attacking? And then she just sits there
50:32
looking at me. And then I flung the covers back
50:34
and then she jumped down with the bed.
50:35
I was like, OK, that's enough. Stop by stop binding my stop
50:39
binding my foot. So yeah, don't stick your foot
50:41
outside the covers. Sansa will will neither of the
50:45
cats will attack our feet. Oh no, both my cats will.
50:49
But Sansa does. I'll be, I sleep on my side, OK.
50:52
And she'll kind of come up and she likes to kind of like be at
50:55
an angle. I don't, there's no good way for
50:58
me to, like, demonstrate this. But like, if this is me, right,
51:01
if this bag here is me, OK, OK. She's got like, the front paws
51:05
are up here. And then she's kind of like up a
51:07
little bit. But that's how she sleeps on me.
51:09
Like, so if like my knees are bent up, she's got to be like
51:11
nestled right here and then like sleeps on me and I'll already be
51:15
asleep. She'll come in.
51:16
Oh, OK. OK, that's the best way to go
51:18
about it. I'll wake up.
51:20
I'm like, what is on me? I'm hot right there.
51:23
I'm sweat that's. A big old cat.
51:27
Big She's. A little meatball.
51:29
She's a baby. She is a baby.
51:31
So then I'll give her some screeches, I'll go back to
51:33
sleep. She'll stay.
51:34
She won't move. No worries.
51:36
She's like. This is my.
51:38
Spot, I'm sleeping here and I'm like, I'm so sorry.
51:40
So sorry if you shift around too much then Dom leaves.
51:43
But yeah, no, she, I did wake up and she was fully on my, fully
51:47
on me. And I'm like, OK, go down to my
51:49
lap or like my leg or whatever, like don't get to be right on my
51:52
chest, right? But I don't care.
51:54
I love it. I love the stretches.
51:55
I love, I mean, I love the snuggles.
51:57
It's very adorable. OK, I have another one for you.
52:00
OK, A coworker and I were blowing up balloons for a office
52:08
type party. After he blew one up, he then
52:13
sucked the air back into his mouth and then was perplexed
52:17
when his voice didn't go any higher.
52:23
Say it again. He blew up a balloon and then he
52:25
sucked their back in. I didn't understand why his
52:28
voice didn't get higher when he when he spoke.
52:31
OK. Oh, boy.
52:32
OK. Oh, that was pretty funny.
52:36
OK. Oh man, I got OK.
52:38
I have one about Stephen Hawking.
52:39
Oh, let's hear it. OK, Stephen Hawking was actually
52:41
very funny if you don't know this.
52:43
Yeah, actually, yeah, yes. I mean, he was on.
52:46
He actually did guest appearances on Big Bang Theory
52:49
and was hilarious. He's very funny, was right.
52:53
So this today I learned during an interview with Stephen
52:56
Hawking. The camera operator yanked a
52:57
cable, causing an alarm and Hawking to slump forward,
53:01
worried they had killed him. Everyone rushed over to find
53:05
Hawking giggling at his own joke.
53:07
The alarm was from an office computer losing power.
53:10
Oh my God, that's fucking hilarious.
53:12
That's hilarious. Oh my God.
53:15
Oh my gosh, really good. Wow, I got here.
53:19
I got a little history one for you.
53:21
OK. OK.
53:22
Today I learned Genghis Khan. You know of Genghis Khan?
53:25
I do. Close personal friend of mine,
53:27
right? No, no, a cheer friend, a cheer
53:31
man. Genghis Khan would marry off a
53:33
daughter to the king of an allied nation.
53:36
Then he would assign his new son, son-in-law, to military
53:41
duty in the Mongol wars while his daughter took over the rule.
53:46
Yeah. Most sons in law died in combat.
53:49
Giving his daughters complete control of these nations.
53:51
Yeah. Yeah.
53:52
Genius. Good for him.
53:54
Yeah. Good for him, yeah.
53:56
Or her. Well, that's what I mean, Yeah,
53:58
we love CEO, entrepreneur, her. Yeah, yeah, those were so smart.
54:06
Those are so smart. Ladies.
54:08
This poor girl gave up on trying to make kool-aid because she
54:11
couldn't figure out how to get the cup of sugar into the packet
54:16
because it says add 1 cup of sugar your face.
54:25
She hear about the Flat Earth guy.
54:27
No, that was like in. This isn't a thing I'm reading.
54:30
So I'm just gonna. Wing it.
54:35
He was convinced that the Earth was flat.
54:43
Using his own math, he designed a rocket ship.
54:48
I just heard the story. Barely.
54:50
It crashed. It crashed.
54:53
No, it crashed. He was fine.
54:57
He shot himself off into the air.
55:02
He'd done multiple tests and none of them had worked.
55:04
He finally. On like where did with rocket
55:07
fuel? Like what was he shooting
55:08
himself? Into the and I don't know, OK,
55:10
OK, he he did this twice him in the thing twice.
55:14
But he had obviously multiple test things with like small like
55:16
he was not in them. They were not, you know, kind of
55:19
thing. But he does not die in his
55:21
humor. It crashes.
55:23
It crashes of course. How high did he get?
55:24
Do we know? I don't know.
55:26
I don't have the. Story in front of me irrelevant.
55:28
OK. But he doesn't survive from
55:30
this. He couldn't.
55:31
Have got that. He doesn't, right?
55:33
He doesn't. Yes, He doesn't learn from this.
55:35
He still is like, oh, I miscalculated.
55:38
He runs the calculations again. He gets in the rocket.
55:41
His made-up calculations. Based on if the earth is flat,
55:45
this is how it would work. This is how we think.
55:47
He launches himself the second time and he does die that time.
55:50
So close. So he so he what was his goal?
55:55
He wanted to prove that the Earth was flat.
55:57
He wanted to prove that like NASA and them were like making
56:00
it up, making things up, and that they were like hiding them.
56:02
He thought he. Was gonna get high enough off
56:04
the ground. He just was like trying to like
56:06
prove that, like if he saw that the Earth was flat, great.
56:13
If he didn't, didn't matter. Because people can go in planes
56:17
and they look and they're like, well, you can't see that the
56:19
Earth is round. Now I think that that's fucking
56:21
bullshit. I will cry bullshit on that
56:23
because I think that if you are high enough up in a plane,
56:27
especially if you're in the pilot seat, you could see ahead
56:31
of you the horizon and you're going to be able to see much
56:35
more of a curvature than you would looking at the horizon on,
56:38
you know, say sea level you. Would think now depending on how
56:41
high you're. You go Many, many pilots have
56:44
reported being able to see at least a slight curve of the
56:47
Earth and whatnot. The Earth is round people, for
56:50
fuck's sake. I mean, we've sent Columbus
56:52
Noon. We've sent multiple people.
56:55
People up in to orbit. Around the Earth, only one
56:58
country has been to the fucking moon though.
57:00
That's. True.
57:01
This one Lego wow. But yeah, no, he he, he does not
57:07
learn at all and does eventually die from this.
57:11
Now this has not stopped anyone. This has not stopped anyone.
57:16
You know, people are still trying to to prove.
57:18
They're still trying to. Prove that it that it's flat.
57:20
I it's a lot of effort. That's a lot of work.
57:23
It is to prove that. I Why would you want to spend
57:26
that much? Money Neil Neil Neil deGrasse
57:28
Tyson is a very intelligent individual.
57:31
OK, I do not take his word as law, but he is very smart.
57:36
Yeah, and he's in school and his PhD.
57:39
Absolutely, absolutely. We and we have differing
57:42
opinions on things, but I'm not differing with him on an opinion
57:45
of whether gravity is. I'm not gonna.
57:47
I'm not gonna. Argue no physics, no.
57:50
But here's the thing he had said when when kind of asked about
57:56
like the world being flat or whatever he was like when it
58:00
comes to like a conspiracy theory, you have to think about,
58:08
you know, if it's a is the world flat?
58:10
Is the world round? Whatever or what?
58:12
You know, if you have an A&B situation, which version of this
58:16
do you have to assume the least amount of things, right?
58:20
Which requires the fewest amount of leaps and logic and
58:23
assumptions, right. So if the Earth is round, the
58:27
world exists as we are taught that it exists.
58:33
You know, we, you can believe that like the moon landing and
58:36
all this kind of stuff. And we've sent people a space
58:38
and those photos are not photoshopped.
58:40
And da da, da, if you assume that the world is flat, every
58:44
single leader in the world has got to be in on it.
58:47
First of all, I mean, that's just it.
58:49
Every scientist has to be in on it, every school.
58:53
Every school has to be in on it. Every educator, every like every
59:01
person that has ever worked at NASA, from the fucking janitor
59:06
to the astronauts got to be in on it.
59:09
And that's just NASA. That's not even talking about
59:11
other smaller Space Flight programs in other countries and
59:15
and, and smaller ones, the United States and major ones and
59:18
smaller ones in other countries. Space fucking camp is in on it.
59:24
That's crazy. I mean, it's so much effort to
59:29
countries that you cannot get along for five fucking minutes
59:36
are all in agreement of working together to hide the fact that
59:40
the Earth is flat. Yeah, and that's not ever going
59:43
to happen. No, no one.
59:45
The countries can't even agree. And they're not gonna work
59:50
together. So which to try to convince this
59:52
Joe Blow over here that the earth is flat.
59:54
So it's like which of these two things requires the least amount
59:57
of like leaves and logic that the like, you know, say the
1:00:01
earth is in fact flat and we are photoshopping these images and
1:00:04
every world leader is in on it. And everybody's or the
1:00:08
information that we're producing and and teaching.
1:00:13
Yeah, teaching is the right word.
1:00:14
That we, that we're proven. That we've tested time and time
1:00:18
again over the course of hundreds of years.
1:00:21
You know what I mean? Like that, that information is.
1:00:27
Is. Correct.
1:00:28
At face value, you can take it as face value, yeah.
1:00:31
It's too much work to believe it.
1:00:33
The this theory and this, it's too much, right?
1:00:36
So that's, that's what he has kind of said about like
1:00:39
absolutely question everything, right.
1:00:41
But when it comes to questioning things, you should always
1:00:44
consider which of these two things requires fewer leaps in
1:00:48
logic and assumptions. That's a that's a great way to
1:00:50
look at it, right? Yeah.
1:00:51
So I I do, and I agree with that.
1:00:53
Because no one's gonna spend that much time and effort to try
1:00:56
to convince you. And and also to me as, as far
1:01:00
as, like you said, the leaps in logic, it's like what does
1:01:03
anybody get out of it by proving that there are this to trick you
1:01:10
into thinking that Earth is wrong?
1:01:11
What does anybody get out of that?
1:01:13
I've never quite understood what the logic is.
1:01:15
There's no. That there is to be.
1:01:17
There's game. Here's the thing.
1:01:19
If if you're gonna come to me and be like the moon landing was
1:01:22
faked, OK, I can at least see a path in which someone does have
1:01:28
something to gain by faking that.
1:01:30
If the United States could not land a man on the moon, but we
1:01:34
were in the middle of the Cold War.
1:01:35
If they want to prove that we are better than the Russians,
1:01:39
you might fake it. But there is too much evidence
1:01:44
to the contrary. And we have sent way too many
1:01:47
people into space, like at this point, like, you know what I
1:01:50
mean? And, and people who have
1:01:52
photographed the flag, you know, well, but I believe that the
1:01:59
moon landing is real. Me too.
1:02:02
Because because as we've talked about before, I think you were
1:02:05
it would dead ass require more effort to fake it than to just
1:02:10
put people in a rocket and keep launching them until it worked.
1:02:14
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it would.
1:02:16
It would. It's a crazy amount of effort
1:02:18
that you're not gonna, you're not gonna do.
1:02:20
That no, because again, if it ever got out that you faked it,
1:02:26
wow, it's kind of like it's kind of like if it ever gets out that
1:02:29
you were using PEDs, you know, like steroids or, or if you were
1:02:35
if you cheated Deflategate, you know whatever if you cheated in
1:02:39
something and never got out that you cheated and you.
1:02:42
Won it doesn't matter. Like I mean you think about
1:02:44
Lance Armstrong and the whole the the Tour de France.
1:02:48
So he wanted how many times and they were like, and then it all
1:02:50
comes out and he was a big fat cheater and he used the PDS.
1:02:54
Yeah, he and he got stripped of all of his time.
1:02:57
I mean huge. Scandal, Well, like you look at
1:03:03
Tom Brady, right? You have the, you have the Super
1:03:05
Bowl with that they're accused of, of like deflating the balls
1:03:09
just slightly or whatever and all those kind of stuff.
1:03:11
And like the way that it goes is that it was said that yes, they
1:03:16
did know about it. They did cheat in the and it was
1:03:20
discovered before the second-half what was going on.
1:03:24
And they did swap it for like regulation, you know, footballs
1:03:28
and whatnot. And they then went on to do
1:03:33
better in the second-half of the first half.
1:03:34
And so people were like, oh, well, they wouldn't.
1:03:36
It doesn't matter because you've put a big asterisk on on that
1:03:40
whole game. Doesn't matter.
1:03:42
Doesn't matter. You tried to cheat.
1:03:45
That doesn't go away. And Tom Brady, of course, will
1:03:47
always be known as one of the greatest football players.
1:03:49
But he's he'll never. Him and Belichick both Well, but
1:03:52
never. Belichick threw him out of the
1:03:54
bus, yes, big time, you know, and, and, and no one's ever
1:03:58
going to come out and say the truth.
1:04:00
And it's you know, but unfortunately, like you said,
1:04:02
it's the answer. It's.
1:04:04
Like Mark McGuire, a great Cardinals player, you know,
1:04:07
broke the home run record that comes out later, who's using
1:04:09
steroids and whatnot. And that sucks.
1:04:13
And of course it was then beaten is broken of course later anyway
1:04:17
it it always will be. And honestly.
1:04:20
There's always going to be players that are using steroids,
1:04:22
so it's not going to go away. So right, you're never really
1:04:24
going to know, but but it is what it is.
1:04:27
I have one last dumb thing to tell you.
1:04:28
OK, so wrap it up. This is this is my favorite, my
1:04:32
absolute favorite dumb thing that somebody.
1:04:34
Did I'm ready? OK, this person decided to glue
1:04:40
a toy horse on to their phone case to have like a little their
1:04:47
own little pop socket, you call it I guess.
1:04:50
OK a little like gripper thing to hold on.
1:04:53
They glue this little horse onto the back of the of the phone
1:04:55
case so they can they have a little handle for their phone.
1:04:58
Let me show you. It's the horses standing and
1:05:00
they glued it onto the back of the phone.
1:05:02
OK, OK. They didn't realize though, that
1:05:05
they glued it too high and now the horses had us in every
1:05:08
picture they take. The horse is in every picture.
1:05:14
Swag with the 0. Every picture they take the
1:05:16
little horse. That's my absolute favorite.
1:05:24
That's my absolute favorite. They include the horse too high.
1:05:28
It's right in the line that I never.
1:05:32
Like your wedding photos? All the fantastic.
1:05:35
It was one of the best things I've ever make.
1:05:37
Sure you save some of those so that you can post them later.
1:05:39
Absolutely. I'm writing this down that's.
1:05:42
Excellent. So OK, that's my favorite dumb
1:05:44
thing. That's very good.
1:05:46
It's so funny. We need more whimsy in this
1:05:48
world. Absolutely.
1:05:49
If you're going to do something dumb, make sure the horizon is
1:05:51
in the picture. Absolutely.
1:05:53
Fantastic. All right, well, I don't know
1:05:56
about you, but after this, someone needs some serious beef.
1:05:58
And some serious capers. Oh no no, how about serious
1:06:01
tacos? Cuz yesterday was thinking to.
1:06:02
Mine it is. Yeah.
1:06:03
Let's go get some. All right, Tacos.
1:06:05
Bye. Bye.