Latest / The You Project / #1694 Netty, NBA & New Horizons - Renae Ingles

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#1694 Netty, NBA & New Horizons - Renae Ingles · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: I get are you bloody Champions, It's Jumbo, It's Craig
0:03
Speaker 1: Anthey Harper, It's the You Project. It's Rena Ingles, it's me,
0:08
Speaker 1: it's you, It's us, wherever you are, whatever you do
0:11
Speaker 1: and happy, bloody, terrific. Renee Ingles, Welcome to the You Project.
0:18
Speaker 2: Oh it is so good to be here. Craig, super excited.
0:21
Speaker 2: I want to be here.
0:22
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to have you. I'm like, it's funny
0:26
Speaker 1: when I interview or chat with interviews the wrong word.
0:29
Speaker 1: But when I chat with my friends that I've known
0:31
Speaker 1: for a very long time, it's different. It's a different energy.
0:36
Speaker 1: I interviewed a lady last night who was amazing an
0:40
Speaker 1: author and a creative and the name's Samantha Wills, and
0:43
Speaker 1: she's a big deal and she's got all these followers
0:45
Speaker 1: and it was great and she was lovely. But it's
0:48
Speaker 1: a completely different preparation and different mindset and different energy
0:53
Speaker 1: to talking. Like, I feel like I don't need to
0:56
Speaker 1: get myself in a different state. But because I know
1:00
Speaker 1: I know you, I kind of know the vibe and
1:03
Speaker 1: the energy and the emotion, so I don't have to
1:07
Speaker 1: be on guard, you know, when you're talking to a stranger,
1:11
Speaker 1: You're always thinking, I wonder how this will go. I
1:14
Speaker 1: wonder what they're like, and I wonder how they'll be
1:16
Speaker 1: around me, because I'm a lot So I've been excited.
1:23
Speaker 2: Oh honestly, so have I.
1:24
Speaker 3: And I would say even coming on as a guest,
1:26
Speaker 3: I would say exactly the same thing, Like, my preparation
1:29
Speaker 3: for your podcast is very different to another podcast of
1:33
Speaker 3: where I maybe don't know the host as well as
1:35
Speaker 3: I know you, And my preparation for you was nothing.
1:38
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm going to show up today and
1:40
Speaker 3: I'm going to be me and I'm going to have
1:41
Speaker 3: a great chat to Crago, and I've been really excited
1:43
Speaker 3: about it.
1:44
Speaker 1: One hundred per And for those of you who are thinking,
1:46
Speaker 1: what's Craigo? You probably heard me interview Bianca the other day.
1:49
Speaker 1: Who calls me Craigo. Charrell, who's been on the show,
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Speaker 1: calls me Crago, And so people who over the journey
1:56
Speaker 1: have been close to me, like a lot of family
1:58
Speaker 1: and friends, is probably about aty people in the world
2:01
Speaker 1: who call me that. So if you hear someone call
2:03
Speaker 1: me that, you know that we're at some stage been
2:06
Speaker 1: quite intertwined in our journeys. Did you hear me? You
2:09
Speaker 1: probably didn't, but did you? Did you know? I chatted
2:11
Speaker 1: to be the other day.
2:13
Speaker 3: I was about to say, I can't believe I haven't
2:15
Speaker 3: listened to that one. Is that one out yet? Yeah?
2:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah it came out the other day.
2:18
Speaker 3: I didn't realize that one of my most favorite people
2:22
Speaker 3: in the whole wide world be.
2:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's such a bloody she's so smart too, bi Ancha.
2:28
Speaker 1: It's like, clearly a very good athlete Bianca Chatfield we're
2:31
Speaker 1: talking about. If you're not sure, go back a few episodes.
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Speaker 1: You'll find her obviously a great athlete and all of that,
2:38
Speaker 1: but really quite creative, quite intelligent, good communicator. She's like,
2:44
Speaker 1: quite good at quite a lot of things, isn't.
2:46
Speaker 3: She Definitely, and very quiet about it. If you don't
2:51
Speaker 3: realize quite how intelligent Bianchor is, she's certainly not forthcoming
2:55
Speaker 3: with how much she does know, which I think.
2:57
Speaker 2: I like that about it intrigues me a little bit
3:00
Speaker 2: with her. I learned something different.
3:02
Speaker 1: Mmmmmm, well when I was talking to her the other day,
3:05
Speaker 1: and well, your bio is significant as well. I learned
3:07
Speaker 1: something about you today that I did not know, but
3:11
Speaker 1: which I'll share in a moment, but yeah, you know. So,
3:14
Speaker 1: she hosts The Nettie on Fox. She hosted the afl
3:17
Speaker 1: W Footy Show for a couple of years. Oh, she
3:20
Speaker 1: does lots of media, lots of corporate speaking, lots of
3:24
Speaker 1: stuff in and around elite sport. You know, she owned gym,
3:28
Speaker 1: she she renovates homes, She was on the block. She was,
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Speaker 1: of course alongside you are fucking superstar netballer representing the
3:37
Speaker 1: country something times like and and like you a mum
3:41
Speaker 1: and all of that stuff. So it's the transition from
3:46
Speaker 1: sport into life. Well, I know that sport and life
3:50
Speaker 1: are intertwine, but I guess the transition out of sport
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Speaker 1: as an athlete everyone copes differently with. So for my
3:58
Speaker 1: listeners who don't, rather than me ring out, read out
4:00
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff, tell my listeners give them like
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Speaker 1: the however much you want the backstory to you a
4:07
Speaker 1: bit of a snapshot of let's just start with the
4:10
Speaker 1: sports stuff and then we might go back beyond. Sure.
4:14
Speaker 3: Well, for me, I think I came through the pathway
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Speaker 3: really traditionally, I was a Victorian netballer through and through,
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Speaker 3: started playing for my first state team when I was
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Speaker 3: in Grade six and literally just went through every level
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Speaker 3: of state age. Was lucky enough to get a call
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Speaker 3: up to the Melbourne Phoenix as a development player when
4:31
Speaker 3: I was only fifteen and would go in once a
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Speaker 3: month and train with the team, and then honestly my
4:36
Speaker 3: netball journey just took off from there. I decided not
4:38
Speaker 3: to go to the Australian Institute of Sport because I
4:40
Speaker 3: thought I am in a club and in a team
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Speaker 3: here training with the best athletes and best team in
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Speaker 3: the world. Why would I chose to go on live
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Speaker 3: in Canberra, away from my family and friends and play
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Speaker 3: with girls at my level. So I decided and made
4:54
Speaker 3: the hard decision and was told I would never play
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Speaker 3: for Australia because I made that decision. But the in
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Speaker 3: Phoenix purple blood was just pumping through my veins forever
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Speaker 3: really and went through and was lucky enough to play
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Speaker 3: nationally for the Phoenix for the Melbourne Vixen's got it
5:12
Speaker 3: to a bit of a plateau in my career, so
5:14
Speaker 3: moved over to Adelaide for six years, was lucky enough
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Speaker 3: to captain the club there, played for Australia. I went
5:20
Speaker 3: to two Commonwealth Games in a World Championships and then
5:25
Speaker 3: from there kind of started life as a mum, went
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Speaker 3: back to netball again, which is probably some of my
5:30
Speaker 3: favorite memories on the netball court. I was after coming
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Speaker 3: home and now I'm sitting over here in Orlando, Florida
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Speaker 3: as my husband plays in the NBA. So it's a
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Speaker 3: seventeen year career. Feels like it just went by in
5:44
Speaker 3: a flash, absolute flash.
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Speaker 1: Well, you were fifteen when you rock up at the Phoenix,
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Speaker 1: and then seventeen years later you hung up the boots,
5:54
Speaker 1: so to speak. What do you remember of the first
5:58
Speaker 1: time like rocking up? I mean not even a teenager,
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Speaker 1: like an eighten or nine year old, like like three
6:04
Speaker 1: years before you were twelve, I mean you were you
6:07
Speaker 1: were just what was that like? Going into that environment with,
6:10
Speaker 1: as you said, probably the best club team in the
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Speaker 1: world and definitely some of the best players in the
6:18
Speaker 1: world at that time, what was that like?
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Speaker 3: Easily and at the time, Joyce Brown was actually the
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Speaker 3: coach as well, so absolutely phenomenal coach. I remember feeling
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Speaker 3: like a kid in that environment. But I remember the
6:30
Speaker 3: feeling just in my hands and running out in the
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Speaker 3: cold to warm up and just going this is what
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Speaker 3: I want to do with my life. I want to
6:38
Speaker 3: be like these girls. I want to be Lisbonila and
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Speaker 3: Susan Meani. And remembering just I was a static, I
6:44
Speaker 3: was only allowed to come in once a month at
6:46
Speaker 3: that time, and there was your Briany Cargiles and your
6:48
Speaker 3: Julie Prendergast, and we would go as our little young
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Speaker 3: group and train with them, and I aim to just
6:53
Speaker 3: not drop a ball and hope to not be seen,
6:55
Speaker 3: not to be noticed really at that time, and then
6:57
Speaker 3: fast forward a couple of years from there when we're
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Speaker 3: actually contracted. It's that same thing. The one thing that
7:03
Speaker 3: I would say about the Melbourne Phoenix, which I think
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Speaker 3: has held true through my entire career before and after sport,
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Speaker 3: is just the people that I came into the environment
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Speaker 3: with those older girls around me never treated us differently.
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Speaker 3: They really did take us under their wing and show
7:20
Speaker 3: us the way and didn't give us any favors. Let's
7:23
Speaker 3: say that it was work. You turned up and if
7:26
Speaker 3: you're rocking up ready to train, then you rock up
7:28
Speaker 3: and ready to train. There's no going easy on one.
7:31
Speaker 3: And I learned that from day one in that environment.
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Speaker 3: And I loved that about the environment I think when
7:36
Speaker 3: I think about sport now and even some of the
7:38
Speaker 3: teams I played with in later in my career, I
7:40
Speaker 3: think that old school mentality is not around anymore. It's
7:44
Speaker 3: very very different environment and elite now. So I think
7:49
Speaker 3: that held through with me for most of my career.
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Speaker 1: When I started. When I started working with the Phoenix,
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Speaker 1: you girl, I'd come out of football, so I'd worked
8:04
Speaker 1: in AFL for four years with Some Kilda and then
8:08
Speaker 1: with Port Melbourne and the VFL, and like lots of blokes,
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Speaker 1: I'd worked with lots of men and track athletes and
8:15
Speaker 1: kind of fighters and a few swimmers, and like also
8:19
Speaker 1: quite a few women, but disproportionately more blokes. And then
8:23
Speaker 1: from the rest of my career it has been eighty
8:25
Speaker 1: percent women, which is amazing in terms of athletes. But
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Speaker 1: I remember coming in thinking, I guess, not really having
8:34
Speaker 1: high expectations because the sport then was semi professional. You
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Speaker 1: girls were paid fuck all. You were all either studying
8:41
Speaker 1: or working and playing netball, and you were expected to
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Speaker 1: train and did train like full time elite athletes, which
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Speaker 1: you weren't, but you were elite athletes, but you all
8:53
Speaker 1: had to support yourselves either academically or financially, and I
8:58
Speaker 1: remember thinking, I don't know what I expected, but I
9:03
Speaker 1: was blown away by the intensity and the ferocity and
9:07
Speaker 1: the fucking take no prisoners in training, in training, and
9:14
Speaker 1: then and then I rocked up, and I'd never this
9:17
Speaker 1: is to my own detriment, right, But I got asked
9:20
Speaker 1: by the then coach if I would come along and
9:22
Speaker 1: do some conditioning works, which kind of grew and grew
9:25
Speaker 1: until you know, I was there for a long time
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Speaker 1: and played, you know, in that space, a reasonable role,
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Speaker 1: I guess. But I remember the first game of the
9:37
Speaker 1: first season, when I'd been there only maybe a few months,
9:40
Speaker 1: doing all the preseason and training and conditioning and building
9:43
Speaker 1: a relationship with all you girls slash women. And I
9:49
Speaker 1: came to the first game and I was in the
9:52
Speaker 1: change rooms and everyone was just hanging out and chatting
9:56
Speaker 1: and laughing and talking shit. And I don't know if
9:59
Speaker 1: you remember this story. I've told this once or twice,
10:01
Speaker 1: but I remember being really worried because I'm like, fuck,
10:05
Speaker 1: where are their heads? Like they are not like they're
10:08
Speaker 1: just talking bullshit. No one's focused, like we're going out
10:11
Speaker 1: in twenty minutes.
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Speaker 4: Everyone's fucking giggling, and there's music playing, and there's this
10:17
Speaker 4: is this is bullshit, this is not elite sport and
10:20
Speaker 4: all this because in the AFL rooms, like it's like
10:23
Speaker 4: quite intense, you know, intense, and there were funny things.
10:28
Speaker 1: It wasn't it was like a good environment, a fun environment.
10:32
Speaker 1: But then then everyone ran out and it was just
10:37
Speaker 1: like everyone crossed that line and it was like two
10:40
Speaker 1: different people, two different teams. I'm like, oh my god.
10:45
Speaker 1: And probably at the top of the list in terms
10:47
Speaker 1: of white line fever. I mean, you were okay yourself,
10:50
Speaker 1: but Bianca who went from being the nicest person to
10:54
Speaker 1: the biggest bitch, And she would say that, she would
10:58
Speaker 1: say that, she said it the other day and she's like, yeah,
11:01
Speaker 1: I wasn't. Yeah, I didn't want to shake anyone's hand.
11:03
Speaker 1: I didn't want to. I wasn't in for that warm
11:05
Speaker 1: and fuzzy you know. Maybe afterwards, but I remember, I
11:08
Speaker 1: can't I can't remember which athlete it was, but someone
11:12
Speaker 1: held out their hand to her and she pushed it away.
11:18
Speaker 2: Or one of those girls.
11:21
Speaker 3: Feaver came became worse depending on who we're playing, Like
11:25
Speaker 3: when it was Phoenix Viva, Sydney Swift it was on
11:29
Speaker 3: like it was on.
11:30
Speaker 1: Yeah.
11:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we're the same at training, like we got
11:34
Speaker 2: the same at training.
11:35
Speaker 3: I would expect if I was running past and I
11:37
Speaker 3: was in Bianca's way, that I'd get clipped.
11:40
Speaker 2: Just get on with it.
11:43
Speaker 1: So your husband, as you said, Joe plays for the
11:46
Speaker 1: Timberwolves Minnesota timbwlves in the NBA. Has been a bunch
11:49
Speaker 1: of teams. Is he's without doubt one of Australia's best
11:53
Speaker 1: ever basketball has done incredible stuff. You you did more
12:01
Speaker 1: than what you said. You played sixty seven games for Australia,
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Speaker 1: you won a World Championship, you won common Wealth Games gold,
12:07
Speaker 1: common Wealth Games silver. You've got a master's degree in
12:11
Speaker 1: high performance. Is that right? You've got you know, you've
12:15
Speaker 1: got to like, you've done some incredible shit, right, But
12:18
Speaker 1: since you were a kid, you've been around high performance,
12:22
Speaker 1: whether or not that's in sport or in mindset or both. Right,
12:28
Speaker 1: tell me about the importance of being around people who
12:31
Speaker 1: drag you up.
12:34
Speaker 3: Oh, for me, I think being around people that raise
12:37
Speaker 3: your standards all the time. Of the reason that I
12:39
Speaker 3: got to where I was, I think for me, I
12:42
Speaker 3: had talent and I had skill, But I think It's
12:45
Speaker 3: always been the hard work that has held me to
12:48
Speaker 3: where I am, and I actually think when I think
12:50
Speaker 3: of my career and look back at what I was
12:52
Speaker 3: able to achieve, I'm really grateful for it, But what
12:55
Speaker 3: I actually think about is so much hard work behind it.
12:59
Speaker 3: None of that came naturally for me, especially physically, which
13:04
Speaker 3: a lot of people towards the end of my career
13:06
Speaker 3: used to think that I was this physical beast, and
13:08
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I've worked for ten years to
13:10
Speaker 3: be this physical beast because of some feedback, honestly, that
13:14
Speaker 3: I had received when I as young as seventeen eighteen nineteen.
13:18
Speaker 2: With you guys and your.
13:19
Speaker 3: Team, having good people around you is crucial for any success.
13:27
Speaker 3: I think, whether that is performance on the Sporting cort,
13:31
Speaker 3: performance performance as a mum, performance in your relationships, music,
13:36
Speaker 3: whatever it is that your career does. The people that
13:39
Speaker 3: you have around you, I think is crucial to your
13:41
Speaker 3: success or your lack thereof success, and then also your
13:46
Speaker 3: enjoyment of that too, because you know the team that
13:50
Speaker 3: you're in and the people you're around, the enjoyment that
13:52
Speaker 3: you have, I think that leads to better results and
13:55
Speaker 3: stuff as well. And I think I've always been held
13:58
Speaker 3: to really high standards since literally since I was a
14:00
Speaker 3: little girl.
14:01
Speaker 2: In the home that I grew up in.
14:03
Speaker 3: It was, you know, looking the right way, presenting the
14:07
Speaker 3: right way, working hard, finishing things that I start. If
14:10
Speaker 3: you commit to something, you're committed to it. There's no
14:12
Speaker 3: dropping out, there's no quitting. All of those sorts of
14:15
Speaker 3: things up and through teams and coaches and you know
14:19
Speaker 3: the expectations and goals that you have to meet. And
14:22
Speaker 3: I think that's both been a strength and a weakness
14:25
Speaker 3: for me. Always wanting to be the absolute high performer
14:29
Speaker 3: has been something obviously that I look back on my
14:31
Speaker 3: career and I'm grateful for because of what I was
14:33
Speaker 3: able to achieve.
14:34
Speaker 2: But I think everything comes at a cost.
14:37
Speaker 1: I was going to ask you about that, so beautiful segue.
14:40
Speaker 1: Thank you for doing that. So one of the dichotomies
14:43
Speaker 1: of sport is that on the one hand, you almost
14:47
Speaker 1: have to be, if not have to be obsessed. An
14:52
Speaker 1: obsession ain't healthy, right, It's like, well, you have to
14:56
Speaker 1: sacrifice a lot, Like there's a even if you're talented,
14:59
Speaker 1: and there's still all the work and there's still all
15:03
Speaker 1: the external variables, you know, diet, nutrition, sleep, recovery, injury management,
15:08
Speaker 1: you know, psychology, all that. There are so many things
15:12
Speaker 1: that contribute to the end product, which is your performance
15:15
Speaker 1: as an athlete and also the performance as a team.
15:17
Speaker 1: But in the middle of that, you know, sometimes what
15:22
Speaker 1: we see, what you've seen, definitely, what I've seen is
15:25
Speaker 1: people who are amazing athletes but kind of almost broken
15:29
Speaker 1: humans because you know, in some ways their world class
15:33
Speaker 1: and in some ways you know they're emotional messes when
15:37
Speaker 1: no one's looking right. It's not an easy thing because
15:41
Speaker 1: everything comes at a cost. Tell me a little bit
15:43
Speaker 1: about what if if you're comfortable to some of the
15:48
Speaker 1: stuff that you struggled with off court in terms of
15:52
Speaker 1: you the human, you, you the mum, you, the sister, you,
15:55
Speaker 1: the daughter, you, the person just trying to figure out
15:59
Speaker 1: how the fuck life works.
16:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, how deep do you want to go? Craig?
16:03
Speaker 3: I think want to I think that for me, sport
16:09
Speaker 3: and how hard I was able to work and what
16:11
Speaker 3: I was able to achieve through that became my badge
16:15
Speaker 3: of honor and my shield. So when it came to emotions,
16:20
Speaker 3: I didn't show any It was really easy for me
16:23
Speaker 3: physically and even psychologically to lock in that there is
16:27
Speaker 3: this greater cause and this goal I've got to reach,
16:30
Speaker 3: and anything that gets me in the way, I'm going
16:32
Speaker 3: to tear down. And I think I lost myself along
16:35
Speaker 3: the way in that, especially as a leader, in that
16:40
Speaker 3: I grew up in a time and felt in the
16:44
Speaker 3: house that I grew up that emotion was weakness, and
16:49
Speaker 3: that leader I always had to be the strongest one,
16:53
Speaker 3: the fittest one, and that meant not showing the emotions,
16:56
Speaker 3: getting on with it, having that grit and that resilience
17:00
Speaker 3: and all of those things which I think left the
17:02
Speaker 3: human renee behind, and robot machine renee was made and
17:09
Speaker 3: that was the easy part of doing it.
17:11
Speaker 2: I was able to do that.
17:13
Speaker 3: And then I think when you get into the next
17:15
Speaker 3: phase of your life and after sport, when all of
17:17
Speaker 3: a sudden you're not achieving things, or not getting the
17:20
Speaker 3: external pat on your back, or not connecting with people
17:23
Speaker 3: as well as you would because that's not what you
17:25
Speaker 3: knew you would naturally do. It's incredibly hard. And I
17:29
Speaker 3: just think life as an athlete as another layer to
17:32
Speaker 3: that is you have to be selfish, you have to
17:36
Speaker 3: be obsessed, and you have to be selfish when it
17:38
Speaker 3: comes to what you eat, what you drink, when you sleep,
17:44
Speaker 3: what you wear, like when you train. Everything that you
17:47
Speaker 3: do in your day revolves around you and your performance.
17:50
Speaker 3: And then for me, transitioning out of that and becoming
17:53
Speaker 3: a mum, which you have to be the most unselfish
17:57
Speaker 3: human being in the world because nothing is about you anymore,
18:01
Speaker 3: has been quite a big identity shift. But long story short,
18:07
Speaker 3: I think I lost my identity along the way in
18:09
Speaker 3: my career because so much of who I was was
18:12
Speaker 3: tied up in Renee as the netballer and Renee is
18:14
Speaker 3: the athlete, and in all realms of my life, I
18:18
Speaker 3: would show up as Renee as the netballer and the
18:20
Speaker 3: Renee as the athlete, and that was my brand and
18:23
Speaker 3: lost the human side of me along the way.
18:25
Speaker 1: Wow, where did you Where did you learn that? Without
18:30
Speaker 1: trying to throw anyone under the bus, any family member
18:33
Speaker 1: under the bus, but where did you learn that emotions
18:38
Speaker 1: equal weakness?
18:41
Speaker 3: I think I grew up in a house that we
18:44
Speaker 3: didn't have a lot financially. I think my parents were incredibly,
18:48
Speaker 3: incredibly hard workers in their own right and together trying
18:51
Speaker 3: to put food on the table and keep the lights
18:54
Speaker 3: on in the house for my siblings and I I
18:57
Speaker 3: was the oldest, so have always taken the care take
19:00
Speaker 3: a role. So I think I learned really early on
19:04
Speaker 3: that one if I was achieving and if I was
19:08
Speaker 3: people pleasing and essentially being this chameleon that could mirror
19:13
Speaker 3: the person sitting across me and give them the answer
19:17
Speaker 3: that I thought they wanted from me and nice mind
19:21
Speaker 3: and be the easy child, that that was the way
19:26
Speaker 3: to go. And I think just even growing up in
19:29
Speaker 3: a time where like showing emotion and be like, I
19:33
Speaker 3: don't play like a girl, like you'd hear that, don't
19:36
Speaker 3: play like a girl.
19:37
Speaker 2: So I was like, ohyeah, I've got to be the
19:38
Speaker 2: top all of the time.
19:40
Speaker 3: And then I even just think about like my teenage years,
19:42
Speaker 3: a couple of teams that I missed out on where
19:46
Speaker 3: I'd be really upset. I think I got good feedback
19:50
Speaker 3: around how tough I was to like just pick myself up,
19:54
Speaker 3: get back in the gym the next day. It's hard
19:57
Speaker 3: work out to be better next week or to make
20:00
Speaker 3: the next team, And started getting recognition from that, so
20:03
Speaker 3: you start going, Okay, I'm on a good thing here.
20:08
Speaker 3: So yeah, I think just over time it chipped away
20:11
Speaker 3: and then leadership positions and stuff. I think connection for
20:16
Speaker 3: me wasn't something that came naturally because I was quite shy.
20:20
Speaker 3: I've always had a pretty low self esteem or like
20:25
Speaker 3: critiquing in a voice with me, So I think connection
20:31
Speaker 3: early on wasn't easy. So I think I felt like
20:33
Speaker 3: if I was showing emotion, that I was putting something
20:37
Speaker 3: on someone else. So I always wanted just to be
20:40
Speaker 3: the happy one, the nice one, the one that wanted
20:42
Speaker 3: to be liked and valued and loved. So I to
20:45
Speaker 3: say thing rather than say my thing.
20:48
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I mean my time you know, spent around you,
20:56
Speaker 1: me and a coaching role, you were in an athlete role.
20:59
Speaker 1: It was I've never told you this. It was almost
21:03
Speaker 1: like you were a little bit like, give us a hug,
21:05
Speaker 1: but fuck off though yes, yes, like I always say,
21:11
Speaker 1: Tiff who works with me? Tif TIFFs, TIFF's really the
21:14
Speaker 1: ice is broken with her. But for a long time,
21:16
Speaker 1: it's like she wears a T shirt that says give
21:19
Speaker 1: me a hug, and at the same time a baseball
21:20
Speaker 1: cap that says, nah, fuck off, just kidding, you know,
21:24
Speaker 1: And you were like, You're always pleasant, you're always professional,
21:27
Speaker 1: you're always nice. But it was I found it hard
21:31
Speaker 1: to get through the renee Veneer, you know, and then
21:36
Speaker 1: then but I mean we got them well, there were
21:38
Speaker 1: no problems and it was all you know, it was.
21:40
Speaker 1: It was friendly enough. But then it's funny because you
21:43
Speaker 1: and I have reconnected in the last I don't know,
21:46
Speaker 1: month or two, and we've spoken a bit, and we've
21:49
Speaker 1: you know, we've connected interacted, and you've jumped in one
21:52
Speaker 1: of my groups and fucked around a bit and contributed
21:55
Speaker 1: to the group and we've spoken like this if you
21:57
Speaker 1: and I feel like I've gotten to know you more
21:59
Speaker 1: in a probably you know, four or five chats than
22:03
Speaker 1: however many years that was because you're you're the same,
22:07
Speaker 1: but you're not the same.
22:08
Speaker 3: Now, totally agree, and that has taken Obviously, I'm a
22:12
Speaker 3: lot older now. When you first met me, I was
22:14
Speaker 3: seventeen eighteen and trying to navigate what that meant for
22:17
Speaker 3: a young girl in elite sports and trying to work
22:19
Speaker 3: out relationships and all of the things. But yeah, I
22:23
Speaker 3: think through more of my career than not, that is
22:27
Speaker 3: the way I was. I thought letting people in, I mean,
22:31
Speaker 3: you know this, you know this in relationships, but letting
22:34
Speaker 3: people in gave me the opportunity to be let down,
22:38
Speaker 3: so not letting people in was easier, and wearing this
22:41
Speaker 3: hard armor and just being this elite athlete, I thought
22:47
Speaker 3: it was going to serve me better.
22:49
Speaker 2: Now.
22:50
Speaker 3: Of course, if I had my time again, i'd do
22:53
Speaker 3: things a little bit differently, but you.
22:55
Speaker 2: Know, it's all part of it. It's part of growth.
22:57
Speaker 3: One thing that I will say throughout my entire career,
23:00
Speaker 3: even since I was a little girl, I've loved to learn.
23:02
Speaker 2: I've loved growth. I'm obsessed with learning, obsessed with growth, want.
23:06
Speaker 3: To be better, I love evolving, I love learning new
23:08
Speaker 3: things about myself. So that is a part of life
23:12
Speaker 3: now and starting to get closer to the age of
23:15
Speaker 3: forty and up there that I'm actually really enjoying that
23:17
Speaker 3: self awareness piece and how much that is growing, and
23:21
Speaker 3: why I want to do the work that I'm doing
23:23
Speaker 3: at the moment and work with athletes and people that
23:26
Speaker 3: are still doing it, because if they can harness some
23:28
Speaker 3: of that stuff about who they are as people, not
23:30
Speaker 3: just what their job title is or what they identify
23:35
Speaker 3: like with are they an athlete or whatever, who they
23:39
Speaker 3: are as a person away from the court. Because I
23:41
Speaker 3: didn't give enough time to that I just put everything
23:44
Speaker 3: whilst I was still studying and working out what life
23:47
Speaker 3: was going to look like and navigating those relationships that
23:51
Speaker 3: so much of my identity was tied to the athlete
23:54
Speaker 3: and who she was.
23:56
Speaker 1: I know there's a million answers to this, but in
23:58
Speaker 1: general terms, so now you're the thirty eight year old
24:02
Speaker 1: mum of three elect an ex elite athlete, wife to
24:06
Speaker 1: a current elite athlete. You're in and around high performance
24:10
Speaker 1: and have been most of your life, and now you've
24:13
Speaker 1: got more experience, more miles on the clock, You've got
24:15
Speaker 1: a different perspective, you've got more understanding and self awareness
24:19
Speaker 1: and other awareness, and mentally, emotionally and socially, you've evolved
24:25
Speaker 1: a lot. So now we plunk you in front of
24:28
Speaker 1: a group of people who are basically a version of
24:30
Speaker 1: you twenty years ago. What are the things that you
24:33
Speaker 1: want to share with them? How do you want to
24:36
Speaker 1: connect with them?
24:39
Speaker 3: For me, I think it's about them understanding themselves. So
24:44
Speaker 3: I'm not asking them about their sport. I'm not asking
24:46
Speaker 3: about what teams they have or haven't made. I'm not
24:49
Speaker 3: asking about what their goals are in that realm. I
24:51
Speaker 3: want to know what they're passionate about what fills their cup,
24:55
Speaker 3: what do other people, what do they bring to other people, what.
25:00
Speaker 2: Do they love?
25:02
Speaker 3: Who are the relationships?
25:05
Speaker 2: Who's holding them up? I think?
25:09
Speaker 3: I think what I've learned is that connection can really
25:12
Speaker 3: affect your quality of life, and connection really affects your performance.
25:17
Speaker 2: So what do those connection pieces think?
25:20
Speaker 3: Because I have always thought, and any girl that sits
25:24
Speaker 3: in front of me, and even my daughter is eight
25:26
Speaker 3: and I'm trying to have these conversations with her now
25:29
Speaker 3: that my badge of honor was how independent I was.
25:32
Speaker 3: I'm this independence wrong, kick ass, superhuman, right, But there's
25:39
Speaker 3: only so much I can achieve on my own, and
25:41
Speaker 3: that interdependency is what actually, that connection piece is what's
25:45
Speaker 3: actually going to make us thrive, not just survive. Because
25:49
Speaker 3: for a long time I was just driving, so I
25:51
Speaker 3: would who's in your corner? How are they helping you?
25:56
Speaker 3: And how are you helping them? And what is it
25:58
Speaker 3: you actually love? M I think so much of us
26:03
Speaker 3: I would or like if people back then had said
26:06
Speaker 3: to me, Hi, who are you? I would say, Hi,
26:07
Speaker 3: I'm I'm an buller.
26:09
Speaker 1: Yes, so interesting. It's like independences, like that defiant independence.
26:16
Speaker 1: It's like a two edged sword, because on the one hand,
26:19
Speaker 1: it's like, fuck people, I don't need people. I'm fuck
26:24
Speaker 1: I can do this, And on the other side, you're like, well,
26:28
Speaker 1: if I need people, that's a dependency and that's weak, right, yeah,
26:33
Speaker 1: And that's I used to be a little bit like
26:35
Speaker 1: that too, because in a different realm, but trying to me,
26:38
Speaker 1: trying to succeed build something that would work, not as
26:41
Speaker 1: an athlete, but as a whatever, as a business person, entrepreneur, creator, scientist, whatever,
26:46
Speaker 1: trying to figure it out, and it's it's the same.
26:50
Speaker 1: And you know, the other I guess curveball in the
26:53
Speaker 1: middle of this is as an elite athlete, when you're
26:56
Speaker 1: in demand, like you you work for a very long
27:01
Speaker 1: time and still are to a level I'm sure, but
27:05
Speaker 1: there are a bunch of people who want something from you.
27:08
Speaker 1: So I think sometimes it's like I get you probably
27:12
Speaker 1: get as many I get, I don't know, ten times
27:15
Speaker 1: a week, someone who has an opportunity for me, And
27:18
Speaker 1: then I look in I go, the only person that's
27:21
Speaker 1: an opportunity for is them, you know, because they want
27:24
Speaker 1: something from me, and it's just it's a sales pitch
27:28
Speaker 1: dressed up as a fucking opportunity and so you know,
27:32
Speaker 1: not that you want to be overly cynical, but you
27:35
Speaker 1: still have to be careful about for whom you open
27:39
Speaker 1: the door to your heart and your head, right, And
27:42
Speaker 1: so there's not everybody is not everybody that's here to
27:46
Speaker 1: help is here to help. No.
27:48
Speaker 3: I agree, it's such a hard thing to navigate. And
27:52
Speaker 3: I think what I'm learning now and a lot of
27:55
Speaker 3: this especially, and you know, it's a bit of a buzzword,
27:58
Speaker 3: but like vulnerability is that you've just got to take
28:02
Speaker 3: the risk.
28:03
Speaker 2: Like with other people. I think.
28:07
Speaker 3: I was never the one to get vulnerable first or
28:09
Speaker 3: put myself out there because I was scared of what
28:11
Speaker 3: was going to happen.
28:12
Speaker 2: But it almost takes that.
28:15
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just think I would love to
28:17
Speaker 1: I would love to play this. I'd love to play
28:21
Speaker 1: this chapter seventeen year old you, you would have gone,
28:23
Speaker 1: who the fuck is that?
28:25
Speaker 2: I literally would? Yes, Yes, I know.
28:29
Speaker 1: Tell me about so knowing what you know, having been
28:33
Speaker 1: where you've been, and kind of you and Joe have had,
28:37
Speaker 1: you know, like similar journeys from a sport and development
28:42
Speaker 1: and getting to the pointy end of where you could
28:45
Speaker 1: get to in your chosen field. And now I know
28:48
Speaker 1: you're much more than this, but part of your role,
28:51
Speaker 1: I guess, is support crew for him. You know, of
28:54
Speaker 1: course you're a lot more than that, but that's you know,
28:56
Speaker 1: to support your husband. And what does that look like?
29:00
Speaker 1: How do you how do you know how much to say,
29:03
Speaker 1: when to say, when to shut the fuck up, when
29:06
Speaker 1: to step in, when to step away? Because I feel
29:08
Speaker 1: like that's a skill set.
29:13
Speaker 3: One thing that I would say, and Joe and I
29:15
Speaker 3: have been together now about fifteen years, never ever have
29:19
Speaker 3: I ever given him any sort of feedback on a
29:22
Speaker 3: basketball skill ever, nor because he'd laugh in my face
29:27
Speaker 3: and say, what are you talking about?
29:29
Speaker 2: But when it.
29:29
Speaker 3: Comes to body language, how is moving his facial expressions,
29:37
Speaker 3: how his energy looks, how he was contributing to the
29:42
Speaker 3: group or not contributing to the group, what he is
29:46
Speaker 3: doing in the lead up. Is this beneficial for you
29:48
Speaker 3: and your performance? All of those stuff around who he
29:51
Speaker 3: is an athlete? Absolutely, I say it, and we have
29:54
Speaker 3: really good healthy conversations around that. But I would just
29:57
Speaker 3: never ever give him any sort of skilled basketball advice,
30:01
Speaker 3: just on the reverse that he would have never done
30:04
Speaker 3: that to me in netball. But I would have to
30:07
Speaker 3: say that as being an ex athlete myself. Is one
30:11
Speaker 3: of the best things about being married to Joe, and
30:14
Speaker 3: one of the hardest things about being married to Joe
30:17
Speaker 3: is that my career is done, and there's almost this
30:21
Speaker 3: sense of like, oh, if I'd done this then, or
30:24
Speaker 3: I know this, so you should know this now and
30:26
Speaker 3: let me help you with this, or do this because
30:29
Speaker 3: it's differently, and one day that'll be gone and you know,
30:32
Speaker 3: all of the feelings of what I've lost that he
30:36
Speaker 3: still gets to do, and then the feeling of me
30:38
Speaker 3: walking into his stadiums and sitting there and being so
30:41
Speaker 3: happy to love and support and watch him do his thing.
30:45
Speaker 2: Of course as an.
30:45
Speaker 3: Eleinem in my heart where I'm like, oh, I'd love
30:48
Speaker 3: to be back in the stadium full of people that are.
30:50
Speaker 2: Cheering for me out there.
30:54
Speaker 3: But yeah, Joe and I our entire careers have gone
30:57
Speaker 3: about things completely differently. We're like chalk and cheese athlete
31:00
Speaker 3: that he is as opposed to the athlete that I am,
31:03
Speaker 3: and our preparation and who we are as athletes has
31:05
Speaker 3: always been really different, and I actually think that has
31:08
Speaker 3: been a really nice balance because he can calm my
31:11
Speaker 3: farm and I can energize him and have some more
31:14
Speaker 3: of those high performance behaviors that he wouldn't necessarily have
31:18
Speaker 3: had in the first place.
31:20
Speaker 1: What's harder? I think I know the answer. Elite's elite
31:25
Speaker 1: sport or being a mum.
31:28
Speaker 3: I'll be a mum by far. Elite sport is easy.
31:32
Speaker 3: That is the easy part as compared to.
31:36
Speaker 2: Being a mum.
31:37
Speaker 3: Best, best job in the world, hardest and most mundane, resilient,
31:45
Speaker 3: twenty four o'clock that never ends, but worth every minute.
31:49
Speaker 1: Definitely tell us about the kids.
31:52
Speaker 3: I have eight year old twins, Jacob and Miller and
31:56
Speaker 3: Jack who will before next month. They are all they're
32:02
Speaker 3: three independent, completely different to each other kiddos, which keeps
32:06
Speaker 3: me on my toes. Jacob, who is one of the
32:10
Speaker 3: twins eight, was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when he
32:14
Speaker 3: was two and a half, so we've been navigating that
32:17
Speaker 3: for the last six years or so. Sounds crazy saying
32:20
Speaker 3: that it's been six years, but I am raising three
32:25
Speaker 3: American children. They have American accents. They don't know the
32:29
Speaker 3: Australian anthem, they know the American anthem. They Yeah, it's crazy,
32:35
Speaker 3: three little American kids over here.
32:38
Speaker 1: That's so interesting. Isn't it. I didn't think of that.
32:41
Speaker 1: I didn't think of that. And yeah, wow, and do
32:46
Speaker 1: they they just see themselves as American.
32:50
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
32:51
Speaker 3: I think the twins now, as they get older, they're
32:53
Speaker 3: starting to understand now the difference and oh, we are
32:56
Speaker 3: from Australia. Jack of course has no idea, he's too young,
32:59
Speaker 3: but yeah, starting to understand now that Australia is home,
33:03
Speaker 3: and especially in this last trip and in June we
33:06
Speaker 3: came home, so that was really nice to see family.
33:10
Speaker 3: But yeah, and I think they're only just starting to
33:13
Speaker 3: comprehend how far away Australia is as home, and also
33:17
Speaker 3: starting to understand the relationships that their friends have with
33:21
Speaker 3: their families here that have aunties, uncles, grandparents all around
33:27
Speaker 3: them that they visit weekends and do things with. And
33:31
Speaker 3: that's not something that we have. So conversations that are
33:34
Speaker 3: starting to pop up in our house.
33:37
Speaker 1: And I know Joe recently, well not well recently recently
33:41
Speaker 1: went to Minnesota and you're still in Florida. How's that going?
33:47
Speaker 3: It has been? We moved three times in three years.
33:51
Speaker 3: We were in Salt Lake City for eight years, then
33:54
Speaker 3: Joe got traded to Portland, then got signed with Milwaukee Bucks,
34:00
Speaker 3: moved to Milwaukee, and then we were there for ten months,
34:02
Speaker 3: and then he signed with Orlando. So we moved here
34:04
Speaker 3: to Orlando, have been here for twelve months, and honestly
34:07
Speaker 3: expected him to be signing here again a very last
34:10
Speaker 3: minute that like in the NBA, the business that it is,
34:13
Speaker 3: that changed and he had an opportunity to go to Minnesota.
34:16
Speaker 3: And before that had happened, we'd had the conversation that
34:19
Speaker 3: if he was going to be moving again, that it
34:21
Speaker 3: wasn't fair for the kids to be in four schools
34:24
Speaker 3: in four years. Three was a lot and a lot
34:26
Speaker 3: on me as mum. So yes, he moved to Minnesota
34:32
Speaker 3: about a month and a half two months ago. Now,
34:35
Speaker 3: I think for the first month I was riding on
34:38
Speaker 3: the high of we're used to this, we've done this before,
34:42
Speaker 3: We're used to him being away and on the road.
34:45
Speaker 3: But I think I have also grossly underestimated the mental
34:50
Speaker 3: load that it has on me of not having a
34:53
Speaker 3: finish line. So this is not a five day road trip.
34:57
Speaker 3: This is not a ten day road trip in two
35:00
Speaker 3: days home into five days away. Again, this is completely different.
35:04
Speaker 3: And Dad has his own house and lives in a
35:06
Speaker 3: different spot, and we have to try and work out
35:10
Speaker 3: times to get to him, and then when our weekends
35:12
Speaker 3: work that we could fly there. He's of course on
35:14
Speaker 3: the road in the West coast or you know, logistically.
35:18
Speaker 2: It is a nightmare.
35:20
Speaker 3: Even though it sounds really nice that we can fly
35:22
Speaker 3: between two cities and have two houses and give the
35:25
Speaker 3: kids snow and sunshine and all of that, but it's
35:28
Speaker 3: been incredibly difficult, probably more difficult than I thought it
35:32
Speaker 3: would be. But I think that's also on me and
35:34
Speaker 3: the super woman that I try to be for my
35:38
Speaker 3: family and the glue to keep us all together.
35:40
Speaker 2: That I can't keep.
35:42
Speaker 3: Juggling all of the balls all of the time, I
35:44
Speaker 3: don't think so navigating through some of that at the moment,
35:48
Speaker 3: and how I can get better support around me so
35:51
Speaker 3: that Renee doesn't burn out.
35:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the idea of some lifestyles is way
35:59
Speaker 1: better than the practical lived reality. You know, when you
36:03
Speaker 1: think husband's in the NBA, I'm living in Orlando. It's beautiful,
36:09
Speaker 1: it's Florida, it's it's you know, and while in some
36:13
Speaker 1: ways it's fucking amazing, but the experience is not always amazing, right.
36:20
Speaker 2: I have thought that since day one.
36:22
Speaker 3: And I will be the first to say that before
36:24
Speaker 3: Joe had signed in the NBA, like I would look
36:26
Speaker 3: at the NBA and go wow, and this wag life
36:30
Speaker 3: that people I genuinely think people think we have this
36:34
Speaker 3: most luxurious, incredible sport lived life, and that it's quite
36:41
Speaker 3: a lonely existence, especially for the families, and then especially
36:45
Speaker 3: when you get to a point in the player's career
36:47
Speaker 3: like Joe has been where he's one of the veterans,
36:49
Speaker 3: and that they are moving around a lot more. We
36:52
Speaker 3: actually were really lucky that we were in Salt Lake
36:54
Speaker 3: City for eight years with the role that Joe played,
36:57
Speaker 3: that's almost unheard of. So we were quite lucky to
36:59
Speaker 3: be able to entrench ourselves in a team and a
37:02
Speaker 3: community for that long. But it's definitely not the luxurious
37:07
Speaker 3: wag life that people.
37:08
Speaker 2: Think it is.
37:09
Speaker 3: It's quite lonely and logistically and mentally like incredibly tiring,
37:14
Speaker 3: not only on us, on Joe as well, And like
37:17
Speaker 3: I know they of course they get all of the
37:19
Speaker 3: bells and whistles and they get paid incredibly well to
37:21
Speaker 3: do what they do, So I'm not denying that for
37:23
Speaker 3: a second. We're very grateful and privileged in that aspect,
37:26
Speaker 3: but you know, eighty two games a year in all
37:29
Speaker 3: different states, all across the country. They work bloody hard too,
37:33
Speaker 3: and very, very tiring and exhausting in its own way.
37:36
Speaker 3: So there's a lot to navigate in this lifestyle, and
37:39
Speaker 3: a lot to navigate without a village around us.
37:44
Speaker 1: What happens when? What happens when the superstar you, it's
37:50
Speaker 1: just you. The kids are in bed, Joe's world away,
37:55
Speaker 1: it's just you and your thoughts and you and the
37:57
Speaker 1: shit hits the fan with you, like Kudie, who's your person?
38:00
Speaker 1: Who do you reach out to or what do you
38:03
Speaker 1: do like when you have, as we all do, when
38:07
Speaker 1: you have a bit of a moment or a meltdown,
38:09
Speaker 1: How do you navigate that?
38:11
Speaker 2: Good question.
38:12
Speaker 3: I don't allow myself to melt down that too often,
38:16
Speaker 3: if I'm being completely honest, But I do think if
38:18
Speaker 3: anyone's copying the brunt of that, that is Joe and
38:20
Speaker 3: I think that's actually been a good change in our
38:24
Speaker 3: relationship over the last couple of years. Before then, I
38:27
Speaker 3: didn't used to unload to him because I didn't want
38:29
Speaker 3: to affect his performance or you know, have any marriage
38:33
Speaker 3: issues or whatever. How deep we get down that way.
38:35
Speaker 3: I think I have really good people around me, not
38:39
Speaker 3: a whole lot of people that understand this lifestyle, which
38:41
Speaker 3: I think is difficult.
38:44
Speaker 2: But my brother is a really good support system for me.
38:47
Speaker 3: I have a younger brother and a younger sister, but Tom,
38:51
Speaker 3: he too has three young kids, just like I do,
38:53
Speaker 3: and is just a good sounding board for me in
38:56
Speaker 3: that way. And I also have one of my really
38:58
Speaker 3: good friends in Salt Lakes, Sity Emma, who I call
39:02
Speaker 3: on quite a lot, and she usually gets like the
39:04
Speaker 3: mom side of the meltdowns. But I think your own
39:09
Speaker 3: mum's always on speed dollars as well. But I try
39:11
Speaker 3: not to call my own mum because I know that
39:14
Speaker 3: she'll worry too much about me as well. But I
39:17
Speaker 3: have my people definitely help my people, But Joe is
39:21
Speaker 3: probably my biggest sounding board there.
39:25
Speaker 1: How has your mindset, thinking, feeling, operating system around managing
39:33
Speaker 1: your body changed. Obviously you're not training like an elite athlete,
39:37
Speaker 1: and you're not an elite athlete anymore, but you're still
39:39
Speaker 1: in I mean, you look like you could play right now.
39:42
Speaker 1: You look fucking amazing. How has that changed? Because I
39:48
Speaker 1: know a lot of most athletes that I've worked with
39:50
Speaker 1: have let's just say, interesting relationships with their body and
39:55
Speaker 1: with food and with exercise. How does that go now
39:59
Speaker 1: that you're a thirty eight year old mum of three.
40:02
Speaker 3: I think I'm in the period of finding that the
40:04
Speaker 3: most difficult that I ever have. I think because I
40:09
Speaker 3: used to get paid to be fit, it was easy.
40:11
Speaker 3: That part of my job was being as fit as
40:14
Speaker 3: I could humanly be and put all of that time
40:17
Speaker 3: and energy into my body, and I needed.
40:19
Speaker 2: My body to perform.
40:20
Speaker 3: My body doesn't need to perform in the same way
40:23
Speaker 3: as that it used to as an athlete. But I
40:24
Speaker 3: think now more my focus is on long term. I
40:28
Speaker 3: think about you know, I think about me compared to
40:32
Speaker 3: my parents, and we have had kids quite a lot
40:35
Speaker 3: later than what my parents' generation do, And I think
40:38
Speaker 3: about my kids and if that gets later again, well,
40:40
Speaker 3: I want to be a grandparent that's around, that can
40:43
Speaker 3: look after my grandkids and play on the grass.
40:46
Speaker 2: And kick a football and do all of that stuff.
40:48
Speaker 3: So a lot of my focus now, i'd say is
40:51
Speaker 3: long term rene rather than now. However, I would say
40:54
Speaker 3: that I sit in the hardest part now when it
40:58
Speaker 3: comes to body and meat and self esteem. Because I'm
41:02
Speaker 3: obviously not as lean as what I used to be
41:04
Speaker 3: as an athlete, I don't need to be. I also
41:06
Speaker 3: don't have the time or energy to put in as
41:10
Speaker 3: many hours and effort into all of that stuff as
41:13
Speaker 3: I do.
41:13
Speaker 2: It's just craziness.
41:16
Speaker 3: And I just you know, I'm thirty eight as well,
41:18
Speaker 3: so I don't think the intensity that I used to
41:20
Speaker 3: put my body through would do the same as what
41:24
Speaker 3: it did five ten years ago. Do I believe that
41:26
Speaker 3: if I worked hard enough that I could get out
41:28
Speaker 3: on the court and smash it and play again.
41:30
Speaker 2: Yes, but there is.
41:32
Speaker 3: Nothing to gain from that other than honestly filling the
41:34
Speaker 3: external pat on the back achievement.
41:37
Speaker 2: A little bit. Again, I would say.
41:41
Speaker 3: My relationship with my body over my entire career has
41:45
Speaker 3: been pretty consistent in that a lot of how I
41:49
Speaker 3: performed and how I felt about myself was connected to
41:53
Speaker 3: how I felt physically about myself. You may or may
41:58
Speaker 3: not remember this, but when I was seventeen, I was
42:00
Speaker 3: sat down by coach Lisa Alexander. I can put myself
42:03
Speaker 3: on the chair at the courts where I was told
42:05
Speaker 3: that I looked great for an average person, but was
42:10
Speaker 3: carrying too much weight. For an athlete, and of course
42:12
Speaker 3: as a seventeen year old girl, what I heard is
42:14
Speaker 3: your fat. So I think since that day, I was like, right,
42:19
Speaker 3: I'm always from this day going to be the leanest,
42:22
Speaker 3: the fittest. I'll never have that red mark against me,
42:25
Speaker 3: and I think I came pretty close to achieving that. However,
42:30
Speaker 3: I think in terms of, you know, I don't need
42:33
Speaker 3: to look fit, or tend or any of those things
42:36
Speaker 3: in a dress anymore. But that doesn't mean to say
42:39
Speaker 3: that I don't look in the mirror still and go, oh,
42:42
Speaker 3: but maybe if I just smashed myself for another couple
42:44
Speaker 3: of weeks or go back to these old habits. Of
42:47
Speaker 3: my vice was exercise, So I wouldn't say I had
42:50
Speaker 3: an unhealthy relationship with food in that I would restrict
42:54
Speaker 3: calories and stuff, but not enough to affect my performance,
42:57
Speaker 3: but enough that I would feel and look and new
43:01
Speaker 3: enough and even in the degrees that I did what
43:04
Speaker 3: I needed to do to fuel my body to stay
43:07
Speaker 3: and look the part, but also offorn with that as well.
43:11
Speaker 3: And I think coming out for retirement, coming into retirement
43:16
Speaker 3: and not training the way you always used to train,
43:18
Speaker 3: of course you're going to look and feel different. And
43:21
Speaker 3: then another layer that you didn't ask for is that
43:25
Speaker 3: you come into this NBA wag life and I don't
43:29
Speaker 3: look like your average wag right, Like I don't wear
43:33
Speaker 3: a lot of makeup. I don't have the big, beautiful
43:36
Speaker 3: curly hair over here in America.
43:38
Speaker 2: I'm not a tiny little whippet.
43:40
Speaker 3: I'm like an ex athlete, right I've got muscles, i
43:43
Speaker 3: still work out.
43:43
Speaker 2: I'm like a taller, bigger girl.
43:45
Speaker 3: And that is quite hard from a self esteem perspective
43:49
Speaker 3: as well, when you're mixing with all of these beautiful,
43:53
Speaker 3: social media perfect girls when it's not me.
43:58
Speaker 1: Ah, that makes me laugh, But I get it. I
44:01
Speaker 1: get it, get it.
44:02
Speaker 3: Just like yeah, and then you do you laugh at yourself,
44:05
Speaker 3: and then I go, well, I.
44:07
Speaker 2: Truly don't have the time or energy to do that anyway.
44:09
Speaker 2: Like even if I could, I could have my whole team.
44:12
Speaker 3: Of all of that, and I could dress in the
44:14
Speaker 3: labels and the fashion, but it's just not me. I'm
44:16
Speaker 3: like Deans and sneakers and Joe's teamhood because that's all
44:21
Speaker 3: I could throw on after getting the kids to bed
44:23
Speaker 3: and rushing to a game. So I think too, Like, obviously,
44:26
Speaker 3: given my age now and I've got three kids, and
44:28
Speaker 3: Joe's been in the league for as long as he has.
44:31
Speaker 3: I don't care about that stuff as much as I
44:33
Speaker 3: did year one. But of course that I'm a woman
44:38
Speaker 3: think about Oh I do.
44:39
Speaker 1: You know what? But I don't. Just yeah, firstly, I
44:42
Speaker 1: totally understand. But even you know, I'm a sixty one
44:44
Speaker 1: year old bug an idiot, and I still care what
44:47
Speaker 1: I look like. You know, It's like anyone who goes ah,
44:51
Speaker 1: it's only about health and performance and function. For me,
44:54
Speaker 1: I'm like, I call bullshit. Ye, everyone everyone cares a
44:58
Speaker 1: little bit what they look like. That doesn't mean you've
45:00
Speaker 1: got to be vain or conceited or egotistical. But I
45:05
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe they exist, but I don't know that
45:07
Speaker 1: I've ever met anyone who absolutely doesn't care at all.
45:12
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that needs to be the focus or
45:14
Speaker 1: the priority, but I'm like, well, you know I want
45:18
Speaker 1: to be My priority is definitely health, wellness, you know, function, performance, fitness, definitely,
45:23
Speaker 1: But also I don't want to look you know, I
45:27
Speaker 1: want to look as good as I can look for
45:29
Speaker 1: what i've got to work with. I think that's healthy
45:31
Speaker 1: and normal, and I think anyone who says that that's
45:34
Speaker 1: irrelevant is a fucking is a big fucking fibber. Hey,
45:40
Speaker 1: so you guys, I think he just turned thirty seven,
45:44
Speaker 1: like just last month or something. Yeah, so he's on
45:49
Speaker 1: the home straight of his career. He's probably not going
45:52
Speaker 1: to play till he's fifty. So whether or not that's
45:54
Speaker 1: another year or two or three, who knows when that's done.
46:02
Speaker 1: Are you going to stay there? Are you going to
46:04
Speaker 1: come to Australia or you're not sure? Or are you
46:06
Speaker 1: going to what are you? What are you going to do?
46:10
Speaker 3: This for us has changed over the last couple of years.
46:13
Speaker 3: I think we've always said the day that Joe retired,
46:16
Speaker 3: we're on the first plane back to Australia to be
46:19
Speaker 3: in Melbourne with family and friends and all of that stuff.
46:22
Speaker 2: We have house and stuff in Melbourne.
46:26
Speaker 3: Navigating the school system for my son who is autistic
46:30
Speaker 3: has been incredibly difficult, and with the changes and Australia
46:37
Speaker 3: at the moment when it comes to autism and special
46:40
Speaker 3: needs and even neurodiversity in schools is quite far behind.
46:45
Speaker 2: Compared to over here in the States.
46:47
Speaker 3: Anyway, we'd still plan to come back until we landed
46:50
Speaker 3: in Orlando and the three kids in the schools that
46:53
Speaker 3: they are in. This is another logistical nightmare. Craigar I
46:56
Speaker 3: have three kids in three different schools and no husband
46:58
Speaker 3: here to help, so it's a nightmare. But they're all
47:00
Speaker 3: really happy and thriving. But Jacob is in a school
47:04
Speaker 3: that he is. He goes to school really happy, he
47:09
Speaker 3: comes home really engaged, and is just a different kid,
47:13
Speaker 3: which is part of the reason why we didn't move
47:15
Speaker 3: to Minnesota as well. But seeing him thrive and be
47:19
Speaker 3: happy in school makes it incredibly difficult for us to say, yep,
47:22
Speaker 3: we're on the first white back home, because I don't
47:25
Speaker 3: I think for him it would be a step backwards
47:27
Speaker 3: in his education and the resources that he has around him.
47:31
Speaker 3: Then and then we'd also say that we landed in
47:34
Speaker 3: Florida and this was just like this La la land
47:36
Speaker 3: for us. I was like, I know, Disney's there, I
47:38
Speaker 3: don't know much else about it. Well, first winter here
47:42
Speaker 3: in Florida, it was just beautiful. We absolutely loved it here.
47:46
Speaker 3: So we went, oh my gosh, we've been over here
47:47
Speaker 3: in the league for ten years and we've done nothing.
47:49
Speaker 3: Let's get our green cards. So we got our green cards,
47:52
Speaker 3: so that now at least.
47:53
Speaker 2: We have the option.
47:55
Speaker 3: I Joe says that whenever he retires, whenever that is
47:59
Speaker 3: however many years A way that is that he just
48:01
Speaker 3: wants to sit on the couch and not do anything
48:03
Speaker 3: for twelve months, and I think that'll last a month
48:05
Speaker 3: of being like stay at home.
48:07
Speaker 2: Down and trying to kids.
48:08
Speaker 1: So I agree.
48:12
Speaker 3: He'll go into like coaching or something like that, a
48:17
Speaker 3: role with a team or front office or something like that,
48:19
Speaker 3: I think pretty quickly, which may keep us over here
48:22
Speaker 3: as well. I think we're just keeping our options open
48:26
Speaker 3: of what that can look like at the moment. But
48:28
Speaker 3: definitely a hard decision to make when it comes to
48:32
Speaker 3: Jacob and his schooling because it's just so important that
48:36
Speaker 3: he is the happiest version of him, and we've found
48:38
Speaker 3: that place for right now.
48:41
Speaker 1: Well that makes total sense. I mean, I think it
48:43
Speaker 1: would almost be, you know, at this point in time,
48:46
Speaker 1: would be kind of unfair and a little bit mean
48:49
Speaker 1: to drag him out of that thing where he fits
48:51
Speaker 1: in well, you know where where you know just what
48:55
Speaker 1: you said, like he goes to school happy and he
48:57
Speaker 1: comes home happy or whatever you said. You know, I
49:00
Speaker 1: mean that's but for kids with those kinds of challenges
49:03
Speaker 1: that's not always in fact, that's often not the case,
49:06
Speaker 1: so you don't want to let that go in a hurry, right.
49:10
Speaker 3: That's exactly right. It's like what we talked about at
49:13
Speaker 3: the start of this call, though. I think with everything good,
49:16
Speaker 3: there is a cost, and that for us is that
49:18
Speaker 3: we are a long way away from family and missing
49:22
Speaker 3: our nieces grow up, and my parents aren't getting any younger.
49:27
Speaker 3: I'm obviously now stepping back into bits and pieces of
49:30
Speaker 3: where I can in my career and fitting that in
49:32
Speaker 3: with the flexible remote stuff that I can. But I mean,
49:35
Speaker 3: obviously i'd love to be working in sport in Australia,
49:38
Speaker 3: and you know, I missing netball a lot and that environment,
49:41
Speaker 3: and I'm navigating that however I can. But yeah, there's
49:45
Speaker 3: a cost where there is also a reward. But what
49:49
Speaker 3: we will never ever regret in the future is picking
49:52
Speaker 3: the best place where the three of our kids are
49:56
Speaker 3: the happiest and thriving, and for right now, that's in Orlando.
50:01
Speaker 1: Before we wind up, tell us about you and I
50:04
Speaker 1: have spoken a little bit about the work that you're
50:06
Speaker 1: just starting to do and the business that you're developing,
50:09
Speaker 1: because you are very entrepreneurial and creative as well. What's
50:13
Speaker 1: the stuff that you're starting to do and want to
50:15
Speaker 1: do more of in the high performance landscape, whether or
50:20
Speaker 1: not it's in corporate or with athletes or tell us
50:23
Speaker 1: about the work that you're creating and building.
50:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm about four to six weeks away from launching
50:30
Speaker 3: a new business, and I can't give you the name
50:32
Speaker 3: and all of that softest yet or my there'll we
50:34
Speaker 3: fire coming out of my team's ears.
50:36
Speaker 2: But what I can say is what it's.
50:39
Speaker 1: Not called the You project? Is it?
50:41
Speaker 3: It's not, I promise I'd love to take that from you. Know,
50:44
Speaker 3: I'd actually love to do that with you. I think
50:47
Speaker 3: you're on a good thing, Grego. But no, it's an
50:50
Speaker 3: opportunity I think to get people to disconnect from the
50:54
Speaker 3: digital space and the world that we live in now
50:56
Speaker 3: and reconnect and collaborate with other like minded and even
51:01
Speaker 3: disagreeable people to reconnect again, in particular to start with women.
51:07
Speaker 3: In a way, I think we're just getting a little
51:10
Speaker 3: bit lost as to who we are in this world
51:13
Speaker 3: and around What I touched on earlier.
51:16
Speaker 2: Actually is we're all better off.
51:18
Speaker 3: With connections and relationships and helping one another in those relationships,
51:22
Speaker 3: So hoping to just connect people again to each other
51:26
Speaker 3: so that we can all get a better quality of
51:29
Speaker 3: life and better performance out of ourselves in all realms
51:32
Speaker 3: of our lives. So I'm really excited to come into
51:35
Speaker 3: that space and obviously use you as a mentor Cragio
51:38
Speaker 3: and pick your brain around aspects of that. But it's
51:41
Speaker 3: funny that you said that I'm entrepreneurial and creative, because
51:44
Speaker 3: I feel like I've spent my whole life feeling like
51:49
Speaker 3: I'm not creative and that I was going to go
51:51
Speaker 3: into like a job with one title, and that's what
51:54
Speaker 3: I thought that I was working towards with all of
51:57
Speaker 3: my study and all of that stuff and life after netball,
51:59
Speaker 3: and it's just gone in such a different way. But
52:02
Speaker 3: it's keeping it fun and exciting and just trying to,
52:06
Speaker 3: I guess, make an impact as I can while I
52:08
Speaker 3: can when I've got young kids and living in a
52:10
Speaker 3: different country and making the best of it and having
52:14
Speaker 3: fun with it. So it's actually it's been really nice
52:17
Speaker 3: reconnecting with you over the last four to six weeks.
52:19
Speaker 2: It really has. It's fun. There was actually one thing
52:23
Speaker 2: that I want to ask.
52:24
Speaker 1: You about actually I'm ready.
52:27
Speaker 3: I have just been thinking about it because, as you know,
52:30
Speaker 3: I've been listening to a lot of your podcasts, and
52:33
Speaker 3: on nearly every single one of them, you say that
52:36
Speaker 3: you get the feedback from people that you're intimidating, And
52:41
Speaker 3: I think about seventeen year old Rena would have called
52:44
Speaker 3: you intimidating, whereas thirty eight year old Rena doesn't think
52:49
Speaker 3: you're intimidating. I actually think you're a big, soft, cuddly
52:52
Speaker 3: teddy bear that throws out some big swear words sometimes
52:55
Speaker 3: and acts tougher than what you really are in the interior.
52:58
Speaker 3: But I just about the people that are telling you
53:02
Speaker 3: that you're intimidating. Are you intimidating or are they intimidated.
53:09
Speaker 1: It's interesting because, like feeling intimidated, or feeling any way
53:14
Speaker 1: about any personal around any person is an individual response.
53:20
Speaker 1: So I might have five people in front of me,
53:23
Speaker 1: and one person's intimidated, and one person's curious, and one
53:26
Speaker 1: person's excited and whatever. Right, So we have these five
53:30
Speaker 1: different kind of internal realities going on around this one
53:34
Speaker 1: external stimulus, Craig Harper, and so intimidation around me is
53:40
Speaker 1: an individual response. It's not a universal response. Otherwise I
53:45
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to navigate life. But it is a
53:47
Speaker 1: good question because you know, look, even if and I
53:51
Speaker 1: had to realize this that but Craig, even if one
53:55
Speaker 1: in every twenty people says you're intimidating, and it was
53:58
Speaker 1: probably more than that at a time, was probably not
54:01
Speaker 1: in five or ten, I don't know. And even if
54:04
Speaker 1: I did not want to be timidating intimidating, which I didn't,
54:07
Speaker 1: and yeah, I am a fucking softy. I'm I love people.
54:13
Speaker 1: I want to help people and serve people, and I'm intense.
54:18
Speaker 1: I'm intense and I'm passionate. But never in a million
54:23
Speaker 1: years has it been on my goal is to be intimidating.
54:27
Speaker 1: But I think it's a little bit of both intimidating.
54:30
Speaker 3: I think That's where I'm coming from, is that I
54:32
Speaker 3: don't think you are intimidating. I think I think that
54:36
Speaker 3: people find it intimidating that you come across as very
54:40
Speaker 3: self assured.
54:42
Speaker 1: Probably look and I mean, but also look, I think
54:46
Speaker 1: what I think. I say, this is what I think,
54:49
Speaker 1: but I could be wrong. Who says that? And I
54:52
Speaker 1: go by the way, I get more things wrong than right,
54:55
Speaker 1: you know, And that's like. The thing is being in
54:58
Speaker 1: a position like I am, which not that I'm anybody special,
55:01
Speaker 1: but where I have thousands of people every day listen
55:03
Speaker 1: to what I say. For me, It's an absolute privilege
55:07
Speaker 1: and an honor right. But I also want to be
55:09
Speaker 1: the real, raw, honest me, not the fucking the Craig Show.
55:14
Speaker 1: And I can do. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the
55:16
Speaker 1: You Projector's harps. Today we're chatting with Renee. Yeah, come
55:20
Speaker 1: at you live from Florida. It's five pass Yeah, coming up.
55:23
Speaker 1: I can do the bullshit because I did twenty years
55:25
Speaker 1: of radio and even then it wasn't bullshit. But people don't,
55:30
Speaker 1: you know. I just have to accept that some people
55:32
Speaker 1: will be inspired by me, some people will think I'm
55:34
Speaker 1: a fucking idiot, some people will be a bit intimidated.
55:37
Speaker 1: I try to move through life with an awareness bigger
55:42
Speaker 1: than me. You know, theory of mind that I've spoken
55:45
Speaker 1: to you about, understanding how other people think and see.
55:49
Speaker 1: But if I am constantly overthinking, am I am I?
55:53
Speaker 1: Does this person like me? Am I scaring the shit
55:56
Speaker 1: out of them? Am I intimidating? How do they feel
55:58
Speaker 1: about me? And if I'm constantly doing that, then I'm
56:01
Speaker 1: not being present. So I'm well aware that, you know,
56:05
Speaker 1: the only person who sees me like me is me,
56:08
Speaker 1: and I'm well aware that my version of me is
56:10
Speaker 1: no one else's. You know. When I was at UNI
56:15
Speaker 1: first time, a guy called doctor Paul Callery, who played
56:19
Speaker 1: footy for Richmond and Saint Kilda. He was ahead of
56:24
Speaker 1: head of school for me, and he said to me,
56:28
Speaker 1: he said, if you never want yeah, if you never
56:31
Speaker 1: want to offend anyone, he said, say nothing, do nothing,
56:34
Speaker 1: be nothing, and stand for nothing. And I always remembered it.
56:38
Speaker 1: He's like, because some people, you know, like I know,
56:42
Speaker 1: sometimes I'm a lot. I'm a lot. But at least
56:47
Speaker 1: with me, you know where you stand, you know, and
56:51
Speaker 1: I you know. But yeah, thanks for the question. I
56:54
Speaker 1: try not to be but it is an interesting thing
56:57
Speaker 1: and I find just an add on to that question.
57:01
Speaker 1: And this chat is when people say you make me
57:06
Speaker 1: feel like this, I go, am I in charge of
57:09
Speaker 1: your feelings? Now? Am I in charge of your Oh? Wow? Wow?
57:14
Speaker 1: I'm somehow in charge of your No, I don't make
57:16
Speaker 1: you feel like that. You feel like that, because if
57:20
Speaker 1: I was in charge of how everyone feels, I'd make
57:23
Speaker 1: everyone feel happy, you know, Hey, it's been really nice.
57:31
Speaker 1: We should do it again, and I'm looking forward to
57:34
Speaker 1: coming to the States in twenty twenty five. I don't
57:36
Speaker 1: know what that's going to look like, but you and
57:38
Speaker 1: I am maybe going to do a one day or
57:40
Speaker 1: a two days something. They'll go, who the fuck is
57:42
Speaker 1: that old preck over there next to that young hot
57:45
Speaker 1: elite athlete. But anyway, we'll figure something out.
57:50
Speaker 2: We'll have some fun persently.
57:53
Speaker 1: We definitely will. Hey, if people want to find you,
57:55
Speaker 1: connect with you, you know, learn a little bit more
57:59
Speaker 1: about you. How to they do that?
58:02
Speaker 3: You can just find me on Instagram at Renee angles
58:04
Speaker 3: or Renee angles dot com is my website as well.
58:07
Speaker 2: But yeah, usually Instagram is probably.
58:10
Speaker 3: The place, the easiest place in this landscape, isn't it.
58:14
Speaker 3: It's what people do these days, young people.
58:16
Speaker 1: I think it is. I think it is. Or just
58:18
Speaker 1: send a pigeon with a bloody message in its beak. Hey,
58:22
Speaker 1: I will say goodbye fair, but for now, nay, thank
58:25
Speaker 1: you so much, love your guts, You're amazing. Congrats on
58:28
Speaker 1: everything you're doing. You're an inspiration and you are a
58:33
Speaker 1: creative You know what are creative because apart from other things,
58:36
Speaker 1: you're always solving problems, and that's a creative process.
58:40
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. Thank you. It's been good