Latest / The Chris and Mike Show / #128 - Lisa Brearley - Author/Life Coach

Transcript

#128 - Lisa Brearley - Author/Life Coach · The Chris and Mike Show

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We're going to pretend there's music playing.
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We can welcome the ladies and gentlemen on YouTube and.
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Twitch who are? Tuning in and listening
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diligently. Yes, yes, welcome, welcome,
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Youtubers and Twitchers. So this is the Chris and Mike
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show. I'm Chris, he's Mike and we have
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our special guest today. This is Lisa.
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I always I messed up your last name so you don't have to you
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drop it. This is Lisa Beers, barely,
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barely. I don't know why I struggled
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with I struggled that with and Scott was on.
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It's just one of those things. There's too many Rs or
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something. I don't know what's up with
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that. But yes.
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So welcome to the show and here and where are you at?
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I'm in Arizona, Mike's in Illinois and and you're Canada.
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Yeah, on the West side of Canada in British Columbia.
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Well, welcome. Thank you for coming on, Lisa.
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Thank you very much to help you remember my name.
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It's, it's like barely as I tell my, my students sometimes when I
1:00
was teaching, I'm like, I'm not barely, barely, I'm all the way
1:03
barely. So it's barely though to help
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remember. Gotcha.
1:07
Well, I'll just call you Lisa then.
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It's easier. Perfect.
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Then I have no problems at all. So tell us a little bit about
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yourself and what what you'd like to let all our listeners
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know. And, and you know, we just take
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it from there. So fire away, Lisa.
1:25
Well, it's great to be here. I appreciate the connection.
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I know you had my husband Scott on as well and that was our
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little, little connection. So I appreciate it Chris and
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Mike having having me on and a little bit about myself.
1:40
Wow, where do I start? Well, I, I grew up in the East
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Coast, so right now I'm on the West Coast, but I grew up in the
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East Coast in Prince Edward Island.
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Great little little province if you ever have a chance to visit,
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just a cute little place. But I grew up in an amazing
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family, loving mom and dad and I have three siblings and good
2:05
Catholic family. I was telling Chris about that
2:07
before we started, and I had a really calm, peaceful sort of
2:14
upbringing. It's a beautiful place I grew up
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in beautiful family, I grew up in community, all that sort of
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stuff. Met my former husband in
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university, at University of PEI, married, ended up having
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two kids, Jordan and Brianna, 26 and 22.
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And yeah, it's then about just to kind of give you some a
2:45
pivotal point in my life, some pivotal points.
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Back in 2012, I decided to take a Zumba certification and
2:56
instructor class. And that was kind of the
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beginning, I think, of starting to see who I was and that I was
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this worthy person of doing some confident, crazy things in my
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life. So back in 2012, that was one of
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the pivotal things, becoming a Zoom instructor, although I must
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say I never taught. I wanted to do it so I could do
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it with my students, my elementary students, so I could.
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Yeah, have fun with them. Like dance class?
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And you never taught. I never taught a session to the
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public. Wow.
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I used to have last. My previous name was Maze, so I
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used to always use that name for like, you know, amazing this and
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doing amazing that. And so we would move with Maze
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at the lunch hour and do Zoom so we'd have lots of fun elementary
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students. And then I think one of the next
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big pivotal times in my life was when I decided to take charge of
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what I ate. So back in 2018, started a
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course program, year long program, which means a lot about
4:03
dedication called Healthy Transformations and learning
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about food and what I eat and what it does for me.
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And took it for four years in a row, like full four years.
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Then we'd meet once a month, I think it was.
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And it was a doctor and a health behaviour coach, which so many
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behaviours are involved in food. Sure.
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So yeah. So that was another big pivotal
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moment in my life. And then in 2020, choosing,
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deciding to tell my husband I needed to move on from our
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marriage because I was feeling, as I like to say, at the pot was
4:42
kind of boiling and the lid was on tight and I wasn't, it wasn't
4:47
a good feeling, a good situation.
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And so I separated in 2020 and met Scott in 2021 during
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personal development work. And I think he shared about that
4:59
is quite a few experiences he had during that week long course
5:03
where we had met. And yeah, it's I've been on a
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growth journey ever since then. We're done.
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Yes. Very cool.
5:16
So you've you've written some books.
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So give us a little insight about the books you've written
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and and are there self help? Are they about what you just
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kind of talked about? Because again, when we have
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people on our show, we want to kind of organically promote you
5:30
and and drive people to to where they can find your stuff.
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I don't like spilling the beans for those who write books
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because we want people to buy your book instead of learning
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everything about it here so you can give us a little hints and
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tips. So what was the first book you
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wrote and what was that about? Yeah, I have it here.
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So during my one of the personal development classes that Scott
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and I took, OK, we were setting goals.
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So one of mine because I was so blown away.
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I think speechless. I don't know what the word was
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about my about Scott nice first year together and people were
6:05
noticing like, Oh my gosh, like what is going on with you?
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Like in a good way. So like I was showing up
6:12
glowing. Really that's what people were
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per saying. And like you should write a book
6:15
about it. So it kind of put a little
6:17
thought in my head. And so I wrote a goal to myself
6:20
that I would write about our first year.
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And for me, it was about being OK with being heard, what I
6:30
thought because I really feel like in my life, I didn't do
6:35
that. I didn't.
6:37
I didn't express myself. Yeah.
6:40
So being able to write the words I wanted to write, say what I
6:44
was feeling, share what I was, how I was shifting in life.
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And so this this is not a previous marriage bash at all.
6:54
This is literally about the the starts the week or the day I met
7:00
Scott at that week long personal development class and the growth
7:04
journey that I was on and what we did together, we were on.
7:09
And it's funny because when I started writing the book, and
7:12
probably, I don't know, a few months before that and I started
7:15
writing it, I, I thought I was going to title it.
7:18
Why Scott? Like, that's what I thought.
7:21
Why did I choose this guy? Like why Scott?
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And when I started writing, and good author knows this is that
7:29
when you start writing, sometimes it, things shift when
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you write. And I was like that I don't have
7:34
enough for that. It was more about me and my
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growth and my feelings and and that I was worthy enough to
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share them. And I knew that if I share them,
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then someone else will find some inspiration in that for their
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own life. Right.
7:50
Yeah, Yeah. And so when I wrote this and
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I'll, I'll read, just read one thing to you.
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When I wrote this, Scott and I both felt within our like first
8:01
couple weeks of being together that word soul mate.
8:03
Like I know when a lot of people kind of go soul mate like that
8:07
sounds so cliche or. Whatever.
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Now, now before you, before you jump into what you're going to
8:11
read so people understand because people may not have
8:16
listened to Scott show or saw Scott show.
8:17
So give us a little background about Scott because it'll help
8:21
understand what you're writing about and, and, and who you are
8:24
as well. And we know who you are.
8:25
But give us a little background about Scott because obviously
8:27
this whole book is about, you know, Scott's first year.
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It's just a real 32nd, a real 30.
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Second thing Scott was, you know.
8:34
The, the during that first day, I believe it was of that week
8:39
long personal development course, we were asked what do
8:42
you want in a relationship? And at that point, I was just
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coming out of my former relationship.
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And so I had this long list of what I did not want.
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Like that was very obvious to me.
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And so I'm like, let's switch then.
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So if I know I don't want that, what's the opposite?
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So I started making this, this list.
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And quite literally, we were in this group of, I think it was
9:02
around 70 people. And I, I like, I felt this
9:06
strong, strong, I don't know, connection, pull or whatever the
9:11
word was when I read my list and I like, I literally looking at
9:14
Scott going like, that's the list.
9:17
He's the list. For some reason, I, I couldn't
9:19
quite put my finger on it, but he during that week stood up in
9:25
front of that class of like men and women, 70 people.
9:30
And he bought this combination for me of this rugged, strong
9:36
man and vulnerability. So those two things together
9:42
during that course, I'm like, that's my list.
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Like that's. And then and then found out more
9:48
about him along the way during the course.
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So I remember after one of the first session, one of the first
9:55
stories he told. And I know I'm a very sensitive
10:00
person. Like I, I have very kind of
10:03
tuned into people's feelings and emotions because when he shared,
10:08
I literally had this feeling of I felt like I just met a 5 year
10:12
old boy, the five year old boy when he shares.
10:16
And so I, I actually went up to him after that first session.
10:20
I didn't know the guy. I'm like, can I tell you
10:23
something? Yeah, he goes, sure.
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I said I felt like I felt, I met a 5 year old boy.
10:28
He goes, oh, and then nothing else came of that.
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But it was me deciding to say something that I was feeling,
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which I don't do that I used to always put it under the rug,
10:38
right? So that I said talked about the
10:41
soulmate and I kept trying to find the best meaning of a
10:45
soulmate. And this Bianca Spiricino and
10:48
I'd never heard of this lady. And she's like, soulmate isn't
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someone who completes you. And so I knew that I knew that
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this person, like whoever my soulmate was, was not completing
10:58
me. A soulmate is someone who
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inspires you to complete yourself.
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And there's more to that saying, but I was like, Oh yeah, that's
11:06
what's inspiring me for this book, right?
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I agree with. That wholeheartedly.
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Yeah, like it's someone who, you know, holds up that mirror is
11:15
your, you know, your rah rah section, your cheerleader.
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You're, you know, the person who, when you're having a rough
11:21
time, they're there to help you and they're there to support you
11:24
and you can't. Count on somebody else to make
11:26
you happy. That's where people make.
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That's the biggest mistake people make is I'm looking for
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that person that's going to make me happy.
11:33
You have to make yourself happy 1st, right?
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Yeah, that person is going to fulfill whatever little piece is
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missing. Maybe, but you have to be happy
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with your being first. 100 percent, 100% and I've had
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people say to me too well, you know, and I hear about it a lot.
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Well, you have to be have some sort of complete whole self love
11:54
in order to love someone else. And I'm like, I think when I met
11:57
Scott, I realized years later that we were both wanting to be
12:04
loved. And I think that was that was
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the connection. That was the only.
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Well, for sure. Yeah, and so and so I, I got
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great response. I've got amazing feedback from
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this first book that literally within months I was like, can I
12:23
write another one? Now where?
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Now where can people? Yeah, so.
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So what's the name of the first book and where can people find
12:29
it? A year of love and you can find
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it on Amazon. Very very happy that we did get.
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I did get Amazon bestseller as well with this book.
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So to be so to be an Amazon bestseller.
12:45
How many books have you sold on Amazon?
12:47
It's about reaching various groups or not groups.
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That's not the subject areas on Amazon in a day.
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So it's kind of like a special one day event where you sell
13:00
your ebook and you you're able to reach all the quotas on all
13:04
these shot or all these subject areas on on Amazon.
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So that's how you do that. So yeah, after the year of love,
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Scott and I, after that first year together, we had made a
13:17
goal to go to Thailand. And I think he told you a little
13:19
bit about Thailand. And so the second book is 6
13:23
months really in Thailand. Six Months of Love in Thailand
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again is on Amazon also. Both books are also at our
13:31
website, which is Forward Walking choices.com, which Scott
13:38
Scott coined when he first began as a as a coach, a life coach.
13:44
But the first book was all about Scott being my soulmate and
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realizing and going through that growth.
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And it wasn't until I literally wrote the last chapter of my
13:58
book where it says, yes, I am worthy, did I realize, Oh my
14:04
God, I'm my, I'm my old own soul mate.
14:07
Like I want the best for me. And so, so one of the things
14:13
that I absolutely love, and maybe you write in your journal
14:16
or diary, but I wrote books instead, is that the growth
14:21
process through the writing process has just been like mind
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blowing to me. Yeah, I used to journal probably
14:30
the junior year in high school, probably ties like, I don't
14:35
know, 30 and, and journaling on a daily basis.
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One, because I wanted to be a writer and then two, because
14:43
then I started, you know, playing in bands with Mike and
14:46
whatnot. And, and so the more you journal
14:49
and the more consistent you are with it in the kind of the more
14:52
garbage you work through. It's in your soul.
14:56
And then part of that journaling was right was, was writing
14:59
poetry and in the ballad format stuff, which is where a lot of
15:01
my songs originated from, at least the ideas.
15:05
So there is definitely power in writing and doing it
15:08
consistently because you do when you write something down, I
15:12
forget what it is. But when you when you're
15:13
learning and you write something down and even though you're not
15:16
necessarily learning when you're journaling and writing a book,
15:19
but you retain it more and increases.
15:22
Your retention so much more, so much like a percentage.
15:26
Yeah. And then the ideas you
15:27
formulate, it's hard, it's hard to rebel against your own ideas.
15:32
So if you wake up and decide, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to
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work out every day, you know, 8:00 in the morning and
15:37
consistently do that. And then once it becomes a
15:39
habit, it's hard to kind of just rebel against that because
15:42
you've ingrained it in your, in your, in your daily routine so
15:45
much that it's just, it's a part of what you do.
15:47
So it's the same concept with journaling, same concept with,
15:50
you know, when Mike practices a guitar and things like that.
15:52
So it's it's interesting how you can evolve from just writing
15:56
you. Just used, yeah.
15:57
Most people don't purge the whatever's bothering them,
16:01
right? It just builds up and it builds
16:03
up and it and they'd never deal with it, ever.
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If you write it down, like Chris said, not only do you retain it
16:09
better, you work it out better, but you get rid of it too,
16:12
right? You move on to something else.
16:13
You're not dwelling on that one thing constantly.
16:16
Yeah, it's that release, right? So it's the release of the
16:21
current time, the present time, and you can go back to that and
16:24
go, oh, I've shifted from that and that's okay.
16:27
Yeah, exactly like. Yeah, yeah, James, Yeah.
16:31
James Hetfield recently was quoted as he was on stage
16:34
talking about the darkness and stuff.
16:35
He was, he was actually doing an introduction to Fade to Black,
16:38
which Fade to Blacks about suicide.
16:40
And it was lead singer and Metallica, in case you've.
16:42
Been right, but the cool thing about it, because, you know,
16:48
from from an image standpoint, you think James Hetfield is
16:52
this, you know, big badass, you know, mighty fucking tough,
16:56
right? I'm, I'm ironclad.
16:58
I'm, you know, I'm, I'm the lead of one of the greatest heavy
17:01
metal bands that ever, ever exists next to Black Sabbath,
17:04
right? And he's up there talking about
17:07
Fade to Black and how it's about suicide.
17:09
And as he goes on the introduction of the song, he
17:14
basically, he wraps it up before the song starts.
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Basically talk that shit out. Like everybody has darkness,
17:19
everybody has demons. Nobody's perfect.
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And if you, if you come across as perfect, you're lying to
17:24
yourself and the world because you don't exist.
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It doesn't happen, but it was, it was cool for me to see him be
17:30
like, like #1 he was vulnerable in the fact that that in the
17:32
same kind of tour, his daughter came on stage with him and they
17:36
sang Nothing Else Matters together acoustically and he
17:39
wept because it was such a powerful moment with his
17:41
daughter. Right in the reviews of that was
17:44
it was haunting and just so raw and emotional.
17:48
So you have that part coming out now finally, because he has
17:50
worked through so much of his shit because he is an alcoholic.
17:53
He didn't have problems I think with some substances.
17:55
Other than that, don't quote me, but but the fact that he now
18:00
he's that been able to stand in front of hundreds of thousands
18:02
of people and be like, you know, talk your shit out.
18:05
The power that he has now being open and vulnerable about his
18:08
struggles and his journey and life of sobriety and not being
18:12
sober, things like that. It's to me, it's monumental.
18:15
It's, it's somebody that has that much authority and that
18:18
much of A presence alone just for what he does.
18:21
But then to be able to start educating people and dropping
18:24
that message, I thought was a fantastic transformation of him
18:28
as a human. I mean, we don't know him
18:29
personally, so we don't know, but just.
18:32
He's been, he's been public enough and vulnerable enough
18:35
that, you know, I agree with Chris and that that's one of the
18:38
reasons we do this podcast. He'll wear a shirt every now and
18:41
then that says be kind. And the rest of that is, you
18:44
know, everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing
18:46
about, Right, Right. I try and keep in mind that that
18:49
person that's being an asshole to me, that maybe he's having
18:53
that bad day. Right, right.
18:55
If. It continues and you keep coming
18:56
at me. We're going to have a different
18:58
conversation, but you got to stop and think.
19:02
You know, there's a lot of pressure going on right now.
19:04
And those moments from somebody that we look up to as a
19:07
musician, that's going to help, You know, the kid that's
19:10
struggling, you know, that guy, he has the same problems I do.
19:17
Yeah, totally. And it's when you were telling
19:19
that story, Chris, about, you know, you, you get up and you do
19:23
like he gets up in the stage and he shares this and then he does
19:26
this and then he does this. And I, I go like this because I,
19:29
I've one, one thing a lot of people say is that you step out
19:32
of your comfort zone to, to do stuff.
19:34
And for me, it feels like if you step out, you're stepping back,
19:37
going back in and digressing. So I've kind of learned this
19:40
feeling of, or adapted this feeling of, I'm actually
19:43
stretching my comfort zone. So I'm like learning new things
19:46
all the time. And like, even for myself, I
19:48
look back at like when I first met Scott in 2021 and it's like
19:53
I was doing some live videos because I'm like, I've got a
19:56
book coming out. I got to learn to like, speak.
20:00
When I had a script or something, right?
20:02
Yeah. And, and I look back at some of
20:05
those videos and go, wow, she was brave.
20:08
She was timid, she was scared, but she was brave.
20:11
And I and, and now it's like, wow, people say to me, you come
20:14
across and I can speak for 20 minutes on a video and talk
20:17
about whatever. And it's like, wow, times have
20:20
shifted because I stretched myself, stretched my comfort
20:24
zone. I can relate to that as well for
20:26
sure. Yeah.
20:28
Yeah, it's, it's, it's, I've done the same thing because when
20:31
my videos, I started doing videos in 2003, I, I wasn't, I
20:35
wasn't as, I don't know, Bumbly because I had so much time on
20:41
stage with the band and I was an actor.
20:42
So I was in front of people from a, from a theater standpoint.
20:46
But it, it, it's evolved since I started doing it for sure, which
20:50
everybody does. The more you do something better
20:52
you get. And it's that old saying you
20:53
have to do something 10,000 times to be, to be an expert at
20:56
it. But then you still continue
20:58
learning things as you go along because you may think you're an
21:00
expert. And then all of a sudden, you
21:02
know, somebody just like, oh, I'm like, oh, Epiphany, I need
21:04
to do that now. Well, I like that term
21:06
stretching your boundaries. Right.
21:08
Yeah, that's a really good. Yeah, I agree.
21:10
It's a great way to look at it because you don't want to go out
21:15
and then like you said, come back in.
21:17
We want to go out and continue to keep going forward, right?
21:20
Yeah. And the the other, the other
21:22
thing that also or picture in my head that also helps me with
21:27
growth is understanding that I was born perfect.
21:31
So we're all born perfect. That's.
21:33
We are feeling right, yeah. Yeah, we're all born perfect.
21:36
And I think it's Doctor Mattei talks about authenticity and
21:42
attachment. So the I so just this, this is
21:44
the visual that I get is that I was born perfect.
21:47
And you know, over time, people slathered and taped and super
21:51
glued all their, all their thoughts, beliefs, blah, blah,
21:54
blah on me. And now it's my almost my job,
21:58
if you want to call it that, to peel back the layers and find
22:01
that inside again and find that amazingness inside because it's
22:06
been altered. The look has been altered over
22:09
my life. I can relate to that as well.
22:14
Sometimes I say I feel like I've lived like 5 people's lifetimes,
22:18
right? And I don't remember a couple of
22:19
them. Yeah.
22:21
And that may be? That's because you're an old
22:23
soul, brother. Yeah, there you go.
22:25
And I did also want to mention I I have a besides the first two
22:30
books, A year of Love and six months of Love, I do have a
22:33
third one that I'm currently writing writing right now and
22:37
I'm super excited about. It's what it brings as well.
22:40
And I discovered a big thing and while I was writing it too, is
22:45
love. Love is the ultimate for me.
22:49
Love and gratitude, both of those really together.
22:52
But it's interesting how like these themes have been going
22:56
through my life and, and self love is the big one and then
23:02
love for whatever is outside of me.
23:04
So the title of the third book is called love, just love.
23:08
And it's called the the infinite possibilities that can transform
23:12
everything. So it's understanding that that
23:18
that we can have that in our lives.
23:20
Yeah. And so I'm super excited.
23:22
And yeah, it is about the release or the purging, like you
23:25
said, Mike, of, of the thoughts, the feelings.
23:28
That's what books are for me. And I'd mentioned I was a
23:31
teacher as well. I'm I'm still a teacher.
23:34
However, I don't do it permanent in my own classroom.
23:37
I substitute teach. But I thought I would give
23:41
writing kids books a try. And way back when I was telling
23:48
you I did that program called Healthy Transformations in 2018,
23:52
I learned a lot about food and I'm still learning about food
23:56
and what to eat and what's great for my body and really listening
24:00
to my body. But my kids book, my kids book
24:04
is called I Know because kids know everything.
24:08
That's like. I know.
24:10
I know what to do. I know.
24:11
I know, Yeah. When a when a little man's best
24:14
best responses to things when we talk in the morning is yes, I
24:17
know. Like I'll you know, I say it's
24:19
time to go inside. Yes, I know, I know you need to
24:22
eat your shasha's jock. Yes, I know you need to eat your
24:24
waffle. Yes, I.
24:24
Know. I know.
24:26
Back needs to start being. Then why aren't you doing it?
24:31
Right. Okay, do it now.
24:33
Well. The first, the first time we did
24:35
it, it was, it was such a subtle little cute response to
24:38
something. It's just like right on.
24:41
Okay, yeah, you know, very nonchalantly, you know, yes, I
24:46
know. Yes, I know.
24:48
So, so my, my hope with this book is to encourage
24:52
conversations because it's really meant for young kids,
24:55
like 5 to 7 year olds. And it's meant to be read with
24:58
parents or read in a classroom. And it's like this, this was my
25:02
drawings, but this is, it's to encourage conversation.
25:06
Like there's a, a shark with no the word no there and there's
25:09
chips floating all around him. And just the question, why?
25:13
So to encourage, encourage conversation and at the end
25:17
there just is a brief on what do we really, really need as
25:21
people? What do we really need to, to
25:23
eat and consume water being the top 1.
25:26
So, yeah, yeah, 'cause as a teacher, I, I witnessed a lot of
25:31
spikes and lows and mental health and social dysregulation
25:37
and, and when you, when you see that lunch bag come in with like
25:42
sugar and sugar and more sugar and all, it's really hard.
25:46
So the last few years of my class, I actually started doing
25:50
a couple of fun things. I, the first of the school year,
25:53
I would always ask my students what your, what's your favorite
25:55
song? So you guys like that?
25:57
So I, I actually had them pick their favorite song.
26:00
So right on. 24 students, 24 songs and every month we would
26:05
do 3 or 4 songs and I would choreograph the song and by the
26:10
end of the end of the month we invited all parents,
26:14
grandparents, sibling in for like the 45 minutes last hour on
26:18
a Friday and we would dance to the three songs and then we
26:22
would have a veggie social where we would pass out veggies that
26:25
we had cut up in the morning. Like this is Grade 1 and it was
26:29
like the best thing I ever did. And then I of course promoted
26:33
veggies and lettuce because I look at those two things
26:36
differently. But lettuce and veggies on your
26:39
desk all day. If you want to eat all day, have
26:41
veggies and lettuce on your desk all day, go for it.
26:44
A few people took me up on it, but parents loved that kids
26:47
never came home with still a full, a full container of
26:51
veggies and and lettuce always empty.
26:54
So they always ate it. I love that.
26:57
Yeah. I have a bag of, of carrots and
27:01
celery in my refrigerator at my office.
27:03
Just saying. So, yeah.
27:11
So, you know, whenever I, you know, go to the office and I'm a
27:13
little hungry, it's like, oh, yeah, I got.
27:15
I have. But I always bring my lunch
27:17
though, so I don't, I don't, I always, I never set myself up to
27:20
fail when it comes to eating and whatnot.
27:23
I'm always prepared because I, I eat very clean.
27:26
I don't do. Yeah.
27:27
Fast food and all that kind of stuff because it's just, you
27:30
know, it's just makes you feel like crap.
27:33
I know. Tell me about it.
27:35
And it's not worth it. It's like, it's like a hangover.
27:37
It's terrible. Like, Yep.
27:41
Yeah, It's interesting. When I had met Scott, I was
27:43
actually on the verge of not having any more alcohol.
27:47
Not that I was a, you know, raging alcoholic or anything
27:51
like that or had lots to drink, but it was like I would have one
27:55
in a month or something and go that wasn't worth it.
27:57
And then I met Scott, who's been sober for 23 ish years now.
28:02
Right, right. And I met him and he and he
28:04
didn't drank. I'm like bonus yes.
28:07
And then he's telling me he's a diabetic.
28:09
So he really watches what he eats.
28:10
I'm like yes, I'm like, this is just seems all perfect.
28:14
Right. Yeah, although he loved his
28:19
coffee and I, I just quit the coffee about 3 weeks ago.
28:23
Oh no. Why'd you do that?
28:27
I've been having some weird health things go on and so I'm
28:31
eliminating things that could be affecting or whatever my body.
28:36
So I may reintroduce it because I know I love my coffee too.
28:40
Gotcha. Yeah, I drink 1 cup of coffee a
28:42
day, that's it with almond milk in it.
28:44
And this was all, I think every day, but I'm not giving it.
28:48
Yeah. Yeah.
28:49
Well, and I drink tons of water too, so you know.
28:51
Yeah, and our bodies are all different, like our bodies can
28:54
take. It's just we're all different.
28:57
Same with even even what we do on a daily basis, right?
29:00
Our bodies can can either absorb or reject or deflect or whatever
29:05
the energies and the things that we do in a day.
29:07
And I'm just rediscovering, I need more downtime.
29:11
I need more me time because I can go go go go go.
29:14
Right. On a treadmill.
29:16
So yeah, kind of thing. So yeah, it's always learning,
29:19
always growing. Well, that's an important point
29:22
too. You have to take time for
29:23
yourself. You know, a lot of people don't
29:25
schedule that into their day either.
29:28
No, no, self love is is very important, very important.
29:33
Now I know I I shared with you the my first kids book.
29:36
I'm also in the process. I'm just about to send my first
29:40
second kids book to the publisher.
29:45
It's it's though, a memory I had when I was a teacher of a
29:49
kindergarten student, Lily. And I don't want to, I don't
29:54
want to ruin the whole story, but it's called One cookie at a
29:57
time because she she came to me. So it's a kindergarten student.
30:02
She came to me and said, I want to raise money for the
30:05
Children's Hospital. And I was like, and I had, we
30:10
were in a what's called a leader in me school.
30:12
So yeah, seeing children as leaders.
30:16
And so she came to me. So I was like, yeah, well, go
30:20
home, make a plan, come back. So literally, she went home with
30:23
mom, made a plan, brought it back the next day.
30:25
And by the next week, she was. She sold 200 cookies in school
30:29
kindergarten. Like, impressive.
30:32
So I had to write about that story, yeah.
30:34
That is cool. How much were the cookies, $10
30:36
each? No, just a dollar each.
30:39
Dollar each. But yeah.
30:40
So she made $200 that she was able to donate to the Children's
30:44
Hospital. Yeah.
30:45
So that's cool. It was really.
30:47
For a kindergartner, that's impressive.
30:49
I know it. Is yeah, that's outstanding.
30:53
I've I've been very fortunate to have a lot.
30:56
I should say a lot. I'm going to say, actually, some
30:58
very neat children come through my doors and one that I, it
31:04
makes me emotional and but it makes me very blessed that I
31:08
knew that I taught. Yeah.
31:11
Her name was Diamond. And so every time I see Diamond,
31:15
the word diamond is everywhere all the time.
31:18
Yeah. Yes.
31:20
In when I talked kindergarten back in 2000 and early 2000s.
31:28
OK, by like we go September to June and by the school year and
31:34
by November, December, she wasn't feeling well and she had
31:38
received a cancer diagnosis in my kindergarten year.
31:43
And wow, I learned a lot of lessons that year, a lot of
31:50
lessons and. It's nice when you have when,
31:53
when the students remember you or touch you, because my wife's
31:57
a teacher, she's going on, this is her 20th year and she's in
32:01
6th grade, started in 3rd grade, kind of worked her way out.
32:04
But, you know, it's, it's come full circle to where we've gone
32:06
into places and it's like there's one of her students
32:09
that's an adult now, you know, So regardless of what kind of
32:13
impact they have on you when you're teaching them, it's it's,
32:16
it's, you know, later in life, it's, it's fun to kind of just
32:18
run into them. And then you, from my vantage
32:21
point, watching them react to seeing her kind of shows the
32:25
impact they that she had on their life, which is neat.
32:28
You know, so your story is a little more, you know, I don't
32:32
know, sad because of the, the cancer stuff.
32:34
But you know, people don't, a lot of people don't realize how,
32:38
how, how ingrained teachers become with their students.
32:43
You know, parents, you know, they're always kind of harping
32:45
and, and bitching and moaning. You know, if for whatever
32:49
reason, especially nowadays with especially in America anyway,
32:52
how how teachers are perceived and.
32:55
And how entitled parents. Right, right.
32:58
And it's just, you know, like she's dealing with some stuff
33:01
now with some parents that just like, because I hear the stories
33:04
and it's just like, you got to be kidding me.
33:06
Like just the simplest thing is the simplest rules they have in
33:10
schools. Like you can't have your cell
33:11
phone. And, you know, everybody has a
33:13
cell phone now, but kids can't have cell phones.
33:15
They can't bring them out of classrooms and.
33:16
So what do they do with them in Arizona?
33:19
Well, they're supposed to that's they're supposed to be in the
33:21
backpack when you when you walk on campus, you're supposed to
33:23
put the phone in the backpack and not touch it.
33:25
And, you know, there's certain children that don't want to
33:33
adhere to that policy. So, and then they get caught and
33:36
then they get the phone taken away and then they, it's get
33:38
sent to the office and then, you know, then the parents get
33:40
involved because why are you taking?
33:42
So like really, it's a rule. It's a simple rule.
33:44
It's, I mean, it's, you can't have a cell phone for many
33:48
different reasons, you know? Disruption.
33:51
Being right, right and and then cheating on test because you
33:56
know, like smart watches, a lot of kids have Apple Watches now
33:58
you they make you take the Apple Watch off because the Apple
34:01
Watch, you can text the Apple Watch, you can have phone calls.
34:04
So it's it's technology is geared, you know, towards
34:09
disruption big time in schools. And then the teachers, the bad
34:11
guy when they have to enforce those rules and the parents lose
34:13
their shit because the teachers doing their job.
34:15
And it's like, OK, why don't you just step back and realize that
34:18
your child is causing a disruption for the other 20
34:22
students in the classroom because they don't listen.
34:24
And and so then you get the parents point fingers at the
34:27
teachers like, well, you, why you being so mean?
34:29
It's like, really? But then you stop me if you know
34:32
how I look at things. So I'm going to take it all the
34:33
way down to the nub. I understand our education
34:36
system was set up to make good factory workers, to make good.
34:41
We sold the Prussian education system, which goes way back.
34:44
And their education system was to make disciplined, you don't
34:50
ask questions and follow the system kind of students, right?
34:53
So asking Lisa, as a teacher, you guys have a fairly similar
34:59
education system. What would you do to change
35:02
that? Because we're asking kids, and
35:04
you said it earlier, our diets and the way that we feed our
35:08
kids and we're pumping them full of sugar and then tell them to
35:11
go sit for 8 hours in a. Classroom.
35:13
Attentive, right? How would you change that and
35:17
still educate the kids? Well, I think one of the things
35:21
I learned in a school that was amazing, that was that leader in
35:26
me school, if you ever heard of Sean Covey, Stephen Covey, that
35:30
sort of stuff. So.
35:31
Yeah. Absolutely.
35:33
Yeah. So when you have a top down
35:38
healthy place, so for example, that the principal I had at that
35:43
school was proactive, she synergized with us, the staff,
35:50
she, you know, it wasn't this top down control.
35:56
It was about treating you as a human and you know, so, so
36:00
creating a space where people, teachers, parents, kids,
36:07
everybody are heard, however still having appropriate
36:13
expectations. So for me, for me, I know it's
36:17
been a, it's been one of these like because you do hear a lot
36:21
of the negative about school. However, I was very fortunate to
36:24
be in a school where the principal looked at me as a
36:27
professional and at the same time I was growing as a person
36:32
and I extended that to my students.
36:35
So for example, I was doing that personal development class, it
36:39
was a 90 day class with Scott and we were doing goal setting
36:43
and one of my goals was to do a plank.
36:46
Nice. Guess what I did involved my
36:48
students. Oh, really?
36:50
One, we ended up getting up to a minute, I think at 11 seconds
36:55
for a front plank and side planks.
36:59
That's awesome because we had goals, we had interests and, and
37:04
for me, I speak what's going on in my head, so I would speak out
37:08
to them and I remember one day and this like sticks with me so
37:13
much. This is how important our words
37:14
are. Yeah.
37:15
Even when when we were beginning, Chris, and you were
37:18
having trouble with your music and you called it a stupid song,
37:22
I get little like triggers go off in my head going not stupid.
37:26
I wasn't stupid. It was this too.
37:28
I just couldn't stop this. I couldn't stop it.
37:30
So that was the, it's obviously not stupid.
37:32
But yeah, I get, I get, I get what you're saying for sure.
37:34
Totally understand. So this we're doing this goal of
37:37
planks and we were getting up to a minute and it was challenging.
37:41
Like we would add 10 seconds every week, right to this up to
37:44
get to the minute. And we were getting
37:46
up-to-the-minute goal and kids were like, oh, I can't do this.
37:50
Like, you know that the whining was coming out right?
37:53
And it was like I said, I sat them down after.
37:56
I'm like, Oh my goodness. When you guys started saying I
37:58
can't and you want, I all of a sudden I couldn't do it.
38:02
So I said, let's let's try everybody, encourage everybody
38:05
on and say we can do it. We can do it.
38:06
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had no problem, no problem.
38:11
So understanding, yeah. Like at that young of an age,
38:14
words you say, yeah, so powerful, whether it's the words
38:19
you're saying to yourself, words you're saying to your friends,
38:22
words you're saying. So it's like, yeah, it was a
38:24
great, a great awareness for me. It was so cool.
38:28
And yeah, because I was healthy, my classroom was healthier.
38:35
And thus, yeah. So that trickle down effect,
38:38
right? So it.
38:38
Seems like in your teaching style, you kept them hyper
38:41
engaged. And I think that's super
38:43
important that the kids feel like they're part of the
38:46
program, right? Yeah.
38:47
One of the first things that we cut out, two, two of the first
38:51
things that we cut out in the American education system, come
38:55
to find out where the two most important, the arts and music,
38:58
right? Because those are the two things
39:00
that engage both sides of your brain.
39:04
Music is. One of the few things that's
39:06
the. Other thing I was going to.
39:07
Mention that next PE was the third thing that became
39:12
unimportant. Now you're literally asking
39:15
these kids to sit. They're sitting at lunch,
39:18
they're sitting in the classroom.
39:19
They're sitting, sitting, sitting because they don't get
39:21
outside to have any kind of physical activity.
39:24
They don't go get the paint or draw.
39:26
They can't play the how are they getting by?
39:29
They don't know how to play a recorder.
39:30
We all learned how to play the recorder.
39:32
Right, right, right. Or at least the ukulele.
39:37
I think that was something we tried ours.
39:39
Was the recorder. That's the running joke in
39:41
America. Yeah.
39:43
And the other thing that I know we don't think about, but I've
39:47
been thinking about it more lately because I was desiring to
39:51
actually have my feet in grass. And we don't think about this
39:55
because, like students, we asked them to wear rubberized sneakers
39:58
all day, runners all day. Like, oh.
40:03
Like they're they're not in tuned with nature.
40:05
So I actually used to take my sketchbook.
40:08
So we would had these big sketchbooks and we would take
40:12
them outside for like an hour and sit in the grass and draw
40:17
what we see, draw what we feel like.
40:19
Nice. Sometimes just those simple
40:21
things like ground you or make you see something in a different
40:26
way. It's pretty cool.
40:28
Yeah, so little man, kindergartner.
40:30
So he he you have to get greens. If he gets greens, he's a good
40:34
day. And he's he gets he gets yellows
40:36
because he he likes to hit. So when he hits.
40:41
Yeah, yeah, I don't it's, it's well, here's the thing.
40:44
When I dropped him off when I when I well, that's part of the
40:48
problem because Jake will roughhouse with him.
40:51
His dad roughhouses with him, his little brother.
40:54
They just they all roughhouse their boys, right.
40:55
So, and, and he has a little bit of, he's a little bit of speech
41:01
issue. So that I think it's kind of a
41:03
precursor to the problem because I think he gets frustrated when
41:05
somebody doesn't understand what he's saying.
41:08
And then so that, you know, but at the same time, when, when I
41:11
dropped him off Monday, I had to go back because I forgot, I
41:16
forgot his, his water bottle. So, and it's 2 minutes away.
41:19
So I went back and then when I went back, him and about 6-7
41:22
other kids are all playing the criminals and cops.
41:24
I'm like, well, that explains where the punching comes into
41:27
play, right, Right. We're playing a game, right.
41:31
So in in doing so, because he got 2 yellows in a row.
41:36
So when he's got consequences, because I have him every day,
41:39
Lisa from 6 to 8, I take him to school and it's been that way
41:41
since he's 3 weeks old. So he comes over and, and you
41:47
know, he's like, he wants to turn on the TV.
41:49
I was like, no, no TV today. And he's like, why?
41:51
I was like, well, because you, you, you got a yellow yesterday.
41:54
I said, I told you, you can't you get yellows?
41:57
There's consequences here. And so I kind of, you know, do
42:00
my little thing and kind of help him understand that, that if
42:02
somebody hit him and, and he came home and I found out
42:05
somebody hit him, I would be sad.
42:06
So I said, so you're making that other kid that you hit his, his
42:09
pop up sad. And so instead of, of watching
42:13
TV, he ended up because we have, we live on an acre and we have
42:16
chickens. So and it was irrigation the
42:18
night before. So he ended up on the back of
42:20
the couch looking out the, the backyard window.
42:22
And I was like, what are you doing?
42:24
He's like, it's a movie Outback because the chickens were
42:26
frolicking, the birds were kind of flying around everywhere.
42:29
Because when the irrigation comes, all the bugs come up to
42:31
the top of the irrigation. So they're all having a field
42:35
day. So it ended up like legit for
42:37
about 1520 minutes, we were just sitting there on the couch
42:40
looking Outback because he said it was a movie in the backyard.
42:43
So I thought that was kind of a brilliant little thing for him
42:46
to kind of do because we're not watching TV now.
42:49
And when we watch TV it's it's you know, stuff about NASA and
42:52
planets because he wants to be an astronaut.
42:53
So it's not like we're, you know, boob tubing it with stupid
42:58
shit, you know, but it was just, it was fun that that he came up
43:04
with that concept. And like, you like going out
43:07
outside with your drawing pad, right?
43:08
Then you're, you're kind of living in that moment, which is
43:11
neat. So this morning, before we
43:13
turned on the YouTube to watch some stuff about planets and and
43:18
Iceland's lava because he loves lava, we watched a little bit
43:22
outside time and, and, you know, it was, it was kind of cool.
43:25
I never thought of it before. Yeah.
43:29
A lot of parents, because they're stressed and they're
43:32
trying to get through their day, you know, you get a lot of
43:35
intensity towards children, which children, they just freeze
43:38
up, right? What I'm hearing from you, did
43:40
you talk to your own kids that way?
43:42
Like rationally? No, no, I didn't because I was
43:45
because like we talked yesterday with we were on £600 podcast.
43:49
I was, I'm a first time dad. So now I'm a first time.
43:52
I'm not old enough to be a grandpa, so I call Papa.
43:54
I was going to be impressed if you did.
43:56
I didn't because I didn't. I didn't.
44:00
When you're raising kids and do you have kids, Lisa?
44:05
Yeah. OK.
44:06
So when you're raising your own kids, you have all the pressures
44:10
of the world on your shoulder because you're entrusted to take
44:15
these these tiny little things and and mold them into good
44:19
contributing human beings. You know, So I think the stress
44:23
with that, I think because Nick and I, neither one of us had any
44:26
real example. I had no example of a father.
44:29
She had no real example of a mother because her mother passed
44:31
away when she was young and then her dad kind of kicked her to
44:34
the curb and she came out here with her step monster when she
44:37
was 12. So we just were kind of flying
44:40
solo it there was no village helping us.
44:44
So I as, as I would say with Skylar, absolutely not with
44:48
Skylar, it wasn't I was, I was freaked out.
44:50
It was a little kid and you just, you had nothing.
44:55
I had nothing to compare myself to.
44:57
You know what? Does that make sense?
44:58
Absolutely. You had no foundation.
45:00
Right, right. So when so when Jake came
45:02
around, it was five years later. And there are moments with him
45:07
that I would catch myself kind of like that baseball story I
45:10
told that that that was wrong, but my my intention was good.
45:16
And then when he and I talked about it, it realized, OK, we
45:18
framed this properly now. So now I know not that do that,
45:22
not that it was bad, but it embarrassed him.
45:26
So we kind of kind of created a level playing field where we
45:29
kind of understood the boundaries and things.
45:31
So once that kind of came up, which I think he was about 7:00
45:35
or 8:00, then then I probably, yeah, I might.
45:37
My conversations were geared more towards like with little
45:40
man, it's just like, hey, you know, reverse the role.
45:43
If if you get hit every day and you come home and tell me you
45:47
get hit, that's going to hurt my feelings because you got to talk
45:50
at A at a kindergartener's level, right?
45:51
You can't, you can't use big words and big circumstances.
45:55
It's like when when you get hit at school, it hurts my feelings
45:58
and I'm your pop up and I don't want you to get hit.
46:01
I don't want you to get hurt. So I'm hoping that kind of
46:03
registered with them. I don't know.
46:04
Time will tell. I just.
46:05
Think that's important for parents to hear?
46:07
Because I I've never seen a situation get solved by
46:11
screaming at a child, right? True, True if.
46:14
You and I think, yeah, they're little.
46:16
Human beings, you got to just put, you got to put it into
46:19
perspective. They're a human being too.
46:20
They're just at a different place in life, right?
46:22
You still have to talk to them rationally.
46:25
The one, the one thing I've learned and I incorporated with
46:27
with with Anthony that I didn't, I didn't necessarily do with my
46:30
kids was I got I go down to his level.
46:33
So but yeah, so I mean, but physically I go down to his
46:37
level. So I'm not looking down and he's
46:39
not looking up. So.
46:42
Right. So when I, when I coached Jake
46:44
and Skylar's sports teams, I I never did that.
46:46
And it didn't dawn on me till we got Anthony to flag football and
46:50
then I had all these tiny little kids because they're 3 to 4 year
46:53
olds. So I just sat, you know,
46:55
crisscross applesauce and they are.
46:58
And then we were just what we were all eye level.
47:00
And then the engagement I got because of that I, it was a
47:05
noticeable difference from when I was teaching Jake when he was
47:08
doing flag football in Sky, when she was doing softball, because
47:11
I was always standing so even. Talking to them, not at them,
47:15
right? Which so that's one of those
47:17
things life hack parents get down to your child's level and
47:21
talk to them as opposed to them looking down on them.
47:23
Because I think from A and you, your writer and a teacher, Lisa,
47:27
you may relate to this looking down on them and them having to
47:30
look up to you. I think it can be intimidating.
47:32
Well, especially. Things that Lisa brought up and
47:34
you're, you're making this point now is make sure that they're
47:37
engaged with you. Don't talk at them too correct
47:42
scream orders or even if you're talking, don't just say here's
47:45
the way things are going to be. Make them be a part of the
47:47
conversation. Like you asked him, why are you
47:50
hitting them? You know, why is this going on?
47:52
Don't just say you can't do that and leave it at that and you're
47:55
in trouble. You know you're in trouble for
47:57
hitting and you're grounded for a week and now the
47:59
conversation's over. Well, see, our parents would.
48:02
Sit us down and we would have to be part of the conversation.
48:05
Sure. And when he gets when he when he
48:08
gets when he as he matures, then that that level of, of
48:12
involvement will will increase because I have a better
48:15
understanding of it. When he when he first did it, I
48:18
asked him, you know, why did he? I don't remember.
48:20
I'm like, you do remember, you can remember when Uncle Jake is
48:22
going to buy you a power Ranger that he told you seven months
48:26
ago. So I don't believe that you
48:28
can't remember. And then that kind of opens that
48:30
door a little bit. And then, you know, I was
48:32
frustrated or, you know, we're, you know, it was angry or
48:36
something. I was like, OK, well, there's a
48:37
better way to deal with your angers.
48:39
Just step back, take a deep breath or go find your teacher.
48:41
Say, hey, I'm upset with with Johnny because Johnny's not
48:44
listening to me, you know, whatever the case is.
48:47
But it's, it's one of those things that I've learned with,
48:51
with raising both my kids and now having Anthony and then and
48:54
tripped the other grandson. You've you've evolved as an as
48:59
an adult, you've evolved as a problem solver.
49:02
You've evolved as just a human and how you interact with people
49:05
because the more you've done it, the more experience you have.
49:07
So that's my thing for any parents listening and watching
49:10
this go down to the level, because I still do it with
49:13
Anthony. I still do it with trip When,
49:15
when I go outside and they're there, I drop to the ground.
49:17
I, I literally drop to my knees. So we're, we're this level when
49:20
they're coming at me, you know, especially when they're running
49:24
to give me a hug and they're running, you know, across half
49:26
the yard, which is an acre. I'm, I just drop on my ground,
49:29
you know, come on. But it, it, I think it, it
49:32
connects better with the child And, and, and I think, you know,
49:37
kind of a subconsciously thing, you are on their level now, even
49:40
though it's just eyesight, because then you're not doing
49:42
this and they're not doing this and you're not looking that
49:45
down. And I'm 6 feet tall little
49:47
man's, I think 4 feet. But you know, as he was growing
49:51
up from zero to where he's at now, I'm a mammoth figure in his
49:55
eyes, Right, right. So I think that the intimidation
50:00
factor goes away, even though you don't mean to be an
50:02
intimidating factor as a parent or a grandparent, but that size
50:05
different is just it's natural. It's natural to be like, oh, you
50:10
know. That never was more in
50:12
perspective for me than when I moved back to my hometown and I
50:15
looked at what my boundary line was when I was about the age
50:19
that Chris is talking about. Like, I could ride my bike
50:21
around this one block, right? Yeah, Yeah, I'm looking at the
50:24
block I could ride around, and it's tiny, but to me, it was
50:27
like it took forever to ride around that block.
50:29
Well, that's because my legs were only, you know, a foot and
50:32
a half tall, Right. Right.
50:34
And sometimes too, Chris, like you talked about the height
50:37
thing. Yeah.
50:39
Something else that I tested out a little bit as a teacher.
50:43
We used to have what was called guided reading groups where, OK,
50:47
I, it was what you call that shape, like a moon shape kind of
50:51
table. I would be in the middle and the
50:53
kids would come and sit around the outside.
50:55
So you can read with them, right?
50:57
Yeah. And what I noticed is, and then
50:59
that you could sit on the side next to the teacher.
51:03
Some kids are more verbal or want to share more if they are
51:09
actually beside you than right in front of you.
51:13
So that's another thing to consider about you're also on
51:16
their level, but that where they are sometimes eye contact is
51:20
extremely intimidating. So just being next to really
51:24
helps. And then you were talking about
51:27
asking those why questions. So the one thing that I've
51:31
learned over the last well, teaching and and even with
51:36
adults, like ask out of curiosity, but you're not asking
51:42
to solve that problem. You're like, you're curious so
51:47
they can share and you're just, you're providing a space for
51:52
them to share, right? Yeah.
51:54
And so often they know the answer.
51:56
Just like, just like this. Right, like they.
51:59
Know the option. So once they start to share with
52:03
you, well I can do this, I can do this, then we can add in,
52:07
well, what about this idea would that be?
52:09
Good. That's that's a good idea.
52:10
That's I'm gonna next time he hits, I'm gonna ask him like,
52:13
OK, what's a better way that you could have handled that
52:15
situation instead of hitting? I really like that Johnny.
52:18
You know, maybe, maybe just kick Johnny engagement, right?
52:22
Yeah, now they're engaged. He's making him solve that
52:24
problem himself. Right.
52:25
And that goes, Yeah. And that goes back to the thing
52:28
I said earlier. It's hard to rebel against
52:29
yourself. So when you come up with your
52:31
own solution to a problem, you created that solution.
52:36
That's brilliant, Lisa. Yeah.
52:37
Appreciate. That.
52:38
Thank you. Yeah.
52:40
And you were also talking before about the cell phone thing in
52:43
school. And I think as a society, like
52:46
we don't realize how much are we're bombarding our kids and we
52:53
all grow up and we're bombarded with everything.
52:56
What? Happened when you leave the
52:58
house as an adult without your cell phone.
53:00
I just encountered it the other day.
53:01
Lady I work with her day was spun out of control because she
53:04
left her phone at home. Yeah, yeah.
53:07
And I couldn't argue with her because if I do it, I do the
53:09
same thing. I'm like, Oh my God, I forgot my
53:11
phone. Yeah.
53:12
Yeah. So it's it's I like I talked
53:15
about going back to nature a little bit and getting my feet
53:17
in the grass, but it literally is starting to look at the
53:21
things that hum bird you in life that you don't even realize are
53:26
happening. Even the simple things like my
53:28
air conditioner just popped on. It's like, OK, another sound I
53:30
got to continue with or go on with or, or like, you know,
53:35
seeing graffiti on a wall that it's offensive and you're like,
53:38
you take that in and go it's another thing that comes and and
53:42
and bum birds. It's just input from the time
53:45
you wake up now until the time you go to bed, unless you as a
53:48
person do something about it. I make rules for myself, you
53:51
know, no phone after 9:00 or, you know, stupid things like
53:55
that. You have to make your own rules
53:58
to get some kind of, you know, like you said, time to meditate
54:02
and get your Peace of Mind back and figure out am I still who I
54:05
think I am? Right, right.
54:06
Yeah, I heard a great suggestion from someone.
54:08
They said as soon as you wake up in the morning, don't look at
54:11
your phone, don't look at technology or that whatever.
54:13
Go out and look at nature. Even if you just look at a
54:16
plant, like look at a leaf, something that does it helps to
54:21
ground and start your day off really great.
54:23
I have people that I look up to, and one of the guys that I look
54:26
up to, he gets up and goes for a walk before he does anything.
54:29
No cop, you know, he has water, puts his clothes on, goes for a
54:33
mile walk, comes back, has coffee, takes a shower.
54:36
You know he starts his day after he gets some kind of time with
54:40
himself, right? Yeah.
54:43
I need to get to that point. It's an evolution.
54:47
And we we often, I think, put ourselves down that we're not as
54:50
good as, you know, the neighbors or whatever it is.
54:52
It's like, no, we're perfect. We're just going to keep going,
54:56
keep testing things out and keep doing things.
54:58
And yeah, might the big thing that Scott taught me is be
55:02
gentle on yourself. Be gentle on yourself.
55:05
You're doing great. I like that too.
55:07
And I, I kind of do that unconsciously without putting it
55:10
into words. You know, I, I, I make sure that
55:12
I take care of myself first, because if I don't, then I
55:15
become the person I don't like. And nobody wants that, including
55:19
me, first and foremost me, right?
55:21
I like to be nice to people. I like to help people.
55:23
But if I don't protect my own Peace of Mind.
55:25
And I think we're all three in the same boat.
55:28
We're not going to be the people we want to the people that love
55:31
us. I'm.
55:33
I'm, I'm careful to educate those people that I, you know,
55:36
Chris knows because I tell him. Some days I'm having a shit day.
55:39
It's like, it's not you, man, it's me.
55:42
No, and we all have shit days. It's and it's and it's it's,
55:47
it's how you, it's how you address the shit.
55:49
Day you do the same thing for me because you have your days.
55:52
Yeah. You know, you're like, hey, man,
55:53
I'm off today. I'm just telling you up front.
55:55
He's always honest about it. Yeah.
55:58
Yeah, that's super important. Communication is key, right?
56:02
Well, it is, I know. That I didn't just lose one of
56:05
my best friends. I know he's just having a bad
56:06
day. And tomorrow's going to be Chris
56:08
again, you know? Yeah, exactly.
56:10
You don't have to worry if someone tells you up front.
56:12
And it's the same thing with the children.
56:14
If you're having a bad day as a parent, tell your children.
56:18
It's not you. You know, Dad's having a bad
56:20
day. Mom's having a bad day.
56:22
My parents did that. I've told Chris 100 times.
56:25
The one thing that I pride my parents on is they weren't
56:27
yellers and screamers, right? They were, we're going to sit
56:30
down and have a talk. And there was nothing that my
56:33
mom would say. We're going to have a little
56:34
talk and there was nothing little talk, right?
56:37
It went on for hours sometimes. But yeah, it was a talk.
56:42
It wasn't her hitting us. It wasn't her screaming at us.
56:45
It was, we're going to have a conversation back and forth and
56:48
you are going to participate, right?
56:52
Yeah. Yeah, One one of the things.
56:55
Yeah, exactly. And, and having that kind of
56:57
calm and peace in in your upbringing allowed you to have
57:03
that in your body. So that's in you.
57:05
It's part of you now as an adult, right.
57:08
And so I know I, I, I was born definitely with patience.
57:13
And it's, I, I saw it, my mom as a teacher.
57:15
My mom was my own kindergarten teacher and taught for many
57:18
years. And everybody loves my mom as a
57:21
teacher. And I think a lot had to do with
57:23
patience. And now I always thought that
57:25
patience was just not saying anything like just being OK, I'm
57:31
just, I'll wait and patience. But I learned patience.
57:34
Patience is more about how I choose to react in a situation
57:38
that's. Really.
57:39
What patience. Is to me, and so I say this to
57:42
people, it's like I thought I've always been a patient person and
57:46
I really learned patience when I met Scott I.
57:50
Had I had to learn it myself because I've never been married.
57:54
I don't have any kids, but I became the person that I didn't
57:58
like. I was negative all the time.
57:59
Just I gave up on life for a while, you know, So I just
58:03
wasn't interested in being happy.
58:05
But when I chose to be happy again, I agree with you.
58:07
It's something that you have to choose.
58:10
There's always, how many times in a day do you have to make a
58:14
decision to be an asshole or I'm going to power through this with
58:20
the best attitude possible, right?
58:23
So what I've adopted in my life and you know, people always say
58:26
how can you get through this or that or how do you do this or
58:29
that by yourself? It's for this amount of time.
58:32
This is what I'm doing. So if it's drudgery, I do the
58:37
drudgery with the best attitude possible because I know it's
58:40
going to be over in 10 hours, right?
58:43
Or it's going to be over in two hours and then I'm going to get
58:45
to do something I like. So now I get to play my guitar.
58:47
So now it's I try not to let that high be the highest part of
58:52
my day and that drudgery be the lowest part of my day.
58:55
I just try and say this is my day, right?
58:58
Some of its things I don't want to do and things some of its
59:01
things that I'm blessed to be able to do.
59:05
Yeah, it's finding that gratitude throughout that time
59:09
as well and still taking the time for yourself, right.
59:12
So, yeah, you, you have a 10 hours something to do.
59:15
It's like, well, I, I love it that I'm going to learn
59:18
something new here. I'm going to blah blah blah,
59:19
whatever it is. Or I'm with people that at least
59:22
I like, you know, So I was talking about work.
59:24
Obviously, you know, sometimes work sucks, but I look at it
59:27
like I had some of the best friends I've ever had in my life
59:30
I met there. So at least I get to go see
59:32
them, right? That's the that's the forward
59:36
thinking that a lot of people don't have.
59:38
They're not looking at the fact that they have people that care
59:41
about them there too. They're only looking at the fact
59:44
that work sucks for 10 hours. All they're thinking is I hate
59:47
being here. I hate this place.
59:48
I hate this company. I not that I have a job.
59:52
It's providing for my family. It's how I eat.
59:54
It's how I keep a roof over my head.
59:58
Yeah, the saying that I often say to myself when if those kind
1:00:03
of thoughts come in, it's that what you resist persists.
1:00:07
I like that. So you wanna continue with that
1:00:11
negative thought, then you're just gonna get the negative.
1:00:15
And that's so true. And that's what I got for that
1:00:17
period of time where I got to the darkest place in my life
1:00:20
where everything was negative and I was always right and
1:00:23
everybody else was always wrong. And holy shit that's not reality
1:00:27
because I'm rarely right about anything.
1:00:30
And isn't it cool that you can look back and go?
1:00:32
That's what I used to do. Now I choose something
1:00:35
different. It is and I told Chris yesterday
1:00:38
on that on the £600 Down podcast we were on like, you got to
1:00:44
become the person that nobody likes living more than you,
1:00:47
right? You have to be able to say that
1:00:50
I love getting up in the morning and having another opportunity
1:00:53
to see what life has to offer and how I can help society and
1:00:58
myself at the same time, right? How can my positivity and
1:01:01
overcoming my demons help the next person do that so that they
1:01:05
can enjoy a quality of life that I found right?
1:01:08
Exactly, yeah. And taking care of yourself is
1:01:11
priority. That that's another one of those
1:01:13
visuals that I have. It's that really you can only
1:01:17
give to others when your cup is full and overflowing, right.
1:01:21
So you need to remember, take care of yourself.
1:01:24
Yeah. Very cool.
1:01:27
Yeah. Right now.
1:01:29
So where can people find you again, Lisa?
1:01:31
So you can find scottandi@forwardforwardwalkingchoices.com
1:01:39
and you can find all three of my books on Amazon as well, also on
1:01:44
the Forward Walking Choices website and yeah, on all social
1:01:49
media platforms. And I know I'm on your amazing
1:01:53
podcast, but we also, Scott and I have our podcast as well,
1:01:56
Soulmates and Suitcases, and we're excited to have see you
1:02:00
there. Video is on YouTube and audio on
1:02:03
Spotify. Right on.
1:02:07
All right. Well, we always wrap up the show
1:02:08
like this. If you're having a bad day, if
1:02:10
you're feeling depressed and suicidal, don't do it.
1:02:12
There's a hole in somebody's heart that you're going to
1:02:14
leave. Somebody does love you.
1:02:15
Somebody will miss you more often, more people than you
1:02:17
think. So find somebody that you can,
1:02:20
as James Hetfill says, talk that shit out, man, and wake up
1:02:24
tomorrow and let's start a brand new day for Mike Michaels.
1:02:28
I'm Chris Dunham. She's Lisa.
1:02:29
Rarely. Is.
1:02:30
That right? Rarely.
1:02:33
Rarely. I was so close, man.
1:02:35
This is the Christian Mike show. Tell Scott we said hello.
1:02:37
You guys are an awesome couple. Thanks again, Lisa for coming.
1:02:40
On Tell Scott, I said hey as well.
1:02:42
Yeah, and I will. Thanks, Chris and Mike.
1:02:45
I appreciate it very. You're welcome.
1:02:46
You're welcome. Don't go away when we sign off
1:02:49
because we got to make sure you're uploading properly.
1:02:51
OK? So until next time, everybody
1:02:53
will see you. Love you brother.
1:02:53
Love you too, peace. Quite clear.
1:02:58
We don't want to fly in this stuff to you.
1:03:03
Look the tablet your insane. Feel the tears.
1:03:08
For your life, on your journey, this is the place where you will
1:03:20
go feel the trail behind your eyes.
1:03:28
Take a moment. Look.
1:03:30
Until you see him fight the battle.
1:03:34
That's you Fuck Wheel. Fight the battle, but you fuck
1:03:39
Wheel. Who is this baby to your finger?
1:03:43
Oh yeah, this is to you. Come down here, you haven't
1:05:05
found salty in the sand. You won't fight him.
1:05:11
Wait for the day or when he's closer.
1:05:14
Out you get. For the wind you went.
1:05:18
No quizzes. We're playing.
1:05:20
Smile and you should you press on the almighty man.
1:05:26
You got a dream. Who in your life to keep our
1:05:31
soul in every man? Take the trail behind your eyes.
1:05:39
Feel the Soul Revolution now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
1:05:49
yeah. Take a moment.
1:05:53
Listen to your tear. Fight your family.
1:05:56
To you, mostly. You gotta, you gotta.
1:06:26
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta.