Latest / The Driven Athlete / The Mental Game & Resilience in Sports w/ Nicole Erickson pt 2 | Ep 34

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The Mental Game & Resilience in Sports w/ Nicole Erickson pt 2 | Ep 34 · The Driven Athlete

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: If you're a driven, active person who wants to reach and pursue a higher quality life with some ambition, then guess what this podcast is for you.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: This is the Driven Athlete Podcast.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: What's up?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Y'all, it's your man, dr Kyle.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Driven Athlete Podcast.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: We got Nicole Erickson, the legend, back again with us working with high-level athletes.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: A lot of tennis, right, yeah, down at FM tennis center.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Um, she's a mental performance coach.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, um, tell us more about where you're at and the type of clientele you work with.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I think you.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: So I actually have two locations, uh, one is down in Boynton at FM tennis.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: Uh, it's a performance center mostly for tennis players.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: Other athletes go there, but I predominantly see tennis players and a few other sports.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Uh, down there.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: And then I also work up in Jupiter at a rise center for athletic development.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Uh, and I see a lot of golfers and baseball players there and then again a few, a few other sports.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: So cool If you had to pick between the two of those those.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Baseball, tennis, golf field sports team sports.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Cause I know you played basketball back in the day, right?
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: I did.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of fun working with basketball players.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of fun doing that.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Um, that's hard.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: It's just hard to pick, it's hard to choose, it's hard, it's just hard to pick, it's hard to choose, it's hard to choose.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: I um, I don't know, maybe golf or tennis.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: I'll just go with that, even though basketball is a lot of fun.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah cool.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Um so remind everybody originally what got you into the sports mental performance, uh field, yeah, for sure interested in that so I, uh, grew up playing basketball.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I struggled a lot with my confidence, not due to be, not due to lack of dedication.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: I was actually that, that one athlete that would train constantly outside of practice.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Go hard, practice Basketball was life.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Basketball was life.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Ball, yes, yes, and made a and made a lot of social sacrifices, all the things that you're supposed to do, and then come the game time, still lacked confidence.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Couldn't figure out why, because everyone's telling me oh, the more you practice, the more confident you'll be.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: But really, for me it was not having the tools on the mental side.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: That's why I lacked the confidence.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: I would show up game day and I didn't know how much I'd be beating myself up that day.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I didn't know what emotions were going to come up and, if they did, how I was going to manage them.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: So there was a lot of fear going into games because of that.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: I didn't have any skills or tools to help me through.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: And, as we're taught, you can't freak out on the court, you have to be confident, like all that stuff.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: And it's like okay, great, well, how do I do that?
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: So lacked confidence because of that.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Tore two ACLs in high school, so wasn't able to go on and play college Chose not to.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Second was going into my senior year, thought I was going to do physical therapy Not for me, not for me and stumbled upon sports psychology.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: That's cool, it's awesome.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: So like when you find it, it's like that is what I was born to do.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, it's really yeah so a person recommended um a book.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Mastery by um um green is his last name.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: The author.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: He also wrote 40 laws of power.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, joseph green, um, am I saying yeah, but anyway, about that, like you're calling what are your craft, how you can get better at that, like mastering it.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Uh, it just reminded me of that.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: So the, from your knowledge and experience, looking back at yourself, if you were to treat little Nicole, high school athlete, young high school athlete entering in the competitive years of high school sports, what would you recommend?
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Or even looking back then and be like why is this particular athlete reacting the way that she is?
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Where does this lack of confidence come from?
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: What do they even come from to begin with?
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: What predisposed you to having this lack of confidence and then going into the games?
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think, right.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: So confidence, belief in your abilities, and that's the thing I did believe that I could do stuff.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: But again, I think it was just the lack of tools on the mental side where I didn't have that.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: I knew how to dribble the ball, I could read the court, I had court awareness.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: I could ball, I could read the court, I had court awareness.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Like, I could shoot, I could drive in, I could play.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Defense was my strength.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: What scared me, or I feared opposite of confidence, my doubt came in was I don't know how to handle fear or I don't know how to handle letting go of a mistake.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to handle anger, frustration, nerves when they come up, and it's it's, it's scary not knowing how to handle that stuff.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: So it's the fear of like, if something comes up in this game that I'm looking forward to in the future that hasn't happened yet, and something does happen and I get fearful or scared or like all these things, yeah, self-doubt, will I be able to handle it when I get there?
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's anxiety then.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Right oh, yeah, yeah okay, yeah, so it's an anxiety problem?
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: well, yeah, anxiousness and, again, lack of knowledge.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, lack of knowledge.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Like, again, a lot of the what everyone tells us is hey, like, go in and just be confident.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Like, don't get angry, don't worry, it's the worst You're going to yeah you'll be all right and it's like, okay, but what if I like can't?
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to not be worried.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to manage the worry when it comes up, or the frustration when it comes up, or how to be nice to myself.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, we're all our harshest self critics and like we go to school and like school, sports, everything, it's all problem fixed.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Um, like orientation, it's all okay.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: You're doing this wrong, this wrong and this wrong.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: How do you fix it?
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: How do you get better?
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: It's never like hey, you know, you did this really well.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: This is good.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: You, you're strong in this, but we got to work a little bit on this right positive reinforcement too yeah, and it kind of, you know, with that, it teaches athletes how to acknowledge those things, how to acknowledge it for themselves, like we're not really taught to be nice to ourselves, we're not.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: And then you say it and people are like well, well, that's soft, that's you know, but it's like well, actually, like we kind of need that, like we're going to be with ourselves forever, Like it's me.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: You know, and I got to know how to be my own best friend.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I'd be interested in hearing somebody that would say oh, that's soft.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: You know where they're at and I would assume probably some kind of underlying insecurity for that individual that would be trying to call somebody out for being soft if they're trying to, like, manage their emotions better or acknowledge that emotional distress happens in high intense situations, the pressure you put on yourself, usually right as an athlete.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would question that guy or girl be like you're probably're probably insecure, like if you're going to project that on somebody else.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: It would be interesting to have a conversation, and I think you know there's a lot of different approaches and different beliefs out there and how people should go about it.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: And this is my that's.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: You know the way that I go about my work and what I believe in, and if that works for them, great.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: You know, but this works for the people that I go about my work and what I believe in, and if that works for them, great.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: You know, but this works for the people that I'm working with and it works for me, so I'm gonna roll with that.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: What do you recommend then?
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Um, for parents?
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, so parents cause you work with youth athletes mostly.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So a lot of parents and, I'm sure, very involved want them to be the best they can be, have a lot of suggestions, probably unsolicited advice.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's sometimes probably at the detriment of their kids, right as their young student at kids kid athletes yeah um, what recommendations you have for kids?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Sorry for the parents of the kids who they notice their kids are struggling and they want to help.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Of course, yeah what suggestions you have them because we're like I think you mentioned it before and I have people that I'm close with um that they've mentioned their previous athletic endeavors also.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, parents on the sideline, like you got to get in there yeah go get the ball yeah, right or just do this yeah, you're like you're not helping, you're making me shut down more, right, right, yeah, so do you see that a lot?
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: And then, what recommendations do you have?
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I think it's a mixture of just different things.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Parents and athletes.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: Again, I think you hit a good point of like parents, they invest so much emotionally, they invest money, they invest time and they want what's best for their kid and they care about them so much, invest time, they want what's best for their kid and they care about them so much.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: So, coming from their angle, you know, they're just going off of what they grew up learning, on top of all the investment that they have in their kid and how much love they have for their kid.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: So that that's hard in itself because usually the way that they are speaking to their kid or you know, however they're, it's probably the way that their parents were or a coach was or a teacher was and that's what they know and that's how they think they can help.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Um, the other thing that you mentioned is like solutions, like we're, like that's like I would say to parents just like take a minute and listen, even if it's like an awkward silence, let the kid process and just think for a second, without like solution, solution, solution and talking and trying to give them the answer.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Like just sit there for a minute and let them kind of like see what they come up with.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: And that can be hard because some, you know, especially teenagers, they, they usually don't want to talk.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: So that can be a challenge, um, but yeah, I would say listen and just validating, you know, reassuring, validating meaning like if you had a crappy game, they felt like it was crappy and it was crappy, yeah, no, that sucks.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Except reality.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what it is.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they're, they're how they're feeling, right, like you, a lot of times and I know I was I was a case of this too Like I, my mindset, I was so focused on everything that I did bad, I'd forget I'd come out of the game and I couldn't even remember the things that I did well, or how many points I scored, or like I'd come out of the game and just be so upset and my parents were like Nicole, like don't you remember this?
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: And I'm like what I didn't do that.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: And they're like Nicole, yeah, you did.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: You, you did a lot of great things too, you know, and I think that was helpful, but at the same time, like acknowledging and saying hey, all right, so you, you feel like you didn't play well and that's hard, that's really tough, and just just that, just saying that.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, the sense of relief, Like when someone tells you that and you're super frustrated or worried or upset, and someone's like this is a really frustrating situation.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: It's, it's hard what you're going through.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: It's just like finally like someone hears me you know, and then it's like now the door's open, now let's talk a little bit more.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: And then it's like now suggest a solutions.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Okay, all right, let's talk.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: So validating first for sure.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know for me like even now, right, like me and my, my wife and stuff, we're chatting and I'm like this is going through this and that, and when she's just like that sounds like it's really hard, it sounds like it's frustrating for you, I'm like, yeah, finally somebody understand, you know about time, somebody listened, you know.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my fiance is very good at that too, so we're like yeah, he's very good at that, so it's very, it's nice.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure you've coached him on that.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: It's very, it's nice yeah.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you've coached him on that.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: No, I think he.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I was actually very impressed from the get go.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: He already had yeah, and I don't know like the way he was raised, he was in sales for a long time too, so like super in tune.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just knowing how to have a really great conversation and listen.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, it's, it's nice, it's really nice.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I heard, um well, one thing, a Kobe quote that I wanted to bring up recently, and I was like man.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I forgot how freaking great Kobe was Like.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: He was so good.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: He was like there, yeah, as the goats of basketball and Michael Jordan, lebron James, for sure, kobe Bryant 100% needs to be in that conversation.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Like gosh.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: But anyway, um, he was just mentioning like I think he was pretty dialed in from the mental game it seems like, you know, it's pretty focused and heart.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: He was the mom, you know, I mean, mama mentality is insane.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Um, so he was dialed in, but I remember when there was a clip I came across, he was talking about how, like, sometimes you can't control the things you can control and not control, yeah, First recognizing the things you can't right.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: So you can't control the outcomes.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: But you can really control, like your preparation, of course, going through all the pre game routines and pre-shot routines and mental rehearsal, all those things, and then that helps with confidence.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: I would assume yes, okay, cool, so the preparation.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: And then it's like at that point I just got to do the thing and I can't concern myself with the outcomes.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I can't control that.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: So weighing all the success, failure and my validation, my value as a person, based on the outcome may be inherently wrong, because you can't control the outcome anyway.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: So when it does happen of like I failed, that sucks.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: But all I can do now is just go through the same habits and practice routine and same things that I know are going to lead to success and then focus as much as I can on that and not concern myself with the outcome Because again, I can't control that anyway Versus like letting it like really hold you down.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like my success or failure is measured off of me making that shot or winning the game, and I didn't Three times in a row.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Therefore, my self-value was worse.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Which affects your performance.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Definitely.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm sure you've seen that before.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you go with the same training stuff with some of your clients.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all the time you see that a lot and it ties into just like a very, very locked in on outcome and results, and it's hard because, again, that's what our culture is surrounded by.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Did you get the A?
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: What percentage did you get?
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what was your grade?
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: How many points did you score?
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: How many unforced errors did you make?
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: How do we lessen that?
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: How many times did you approach in?
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: That?
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: It's like all numbers and we do well with numbers, don't get me wrong but it's like like Caitlin Clark.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: There was a interview I actually posted on my story yesterday and an interviewer asked her something like if something along the lines of how do you feel about like losing the game, like pretty much insinuating that because she lost the national championship, like she's no good now, like she's not the goat, like it's so cool because I think now more and more athletes are starting to realize this and kind of change the messaging on media, because media is actually pretty annoying.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Finally you said that yes.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: It's really annoying and it hurts the mental side.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: Even the announcers on the games you're just like you know, like kids are listening to what you're saying about players, right, right that are making this like.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Are you kidding me?
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Anyway.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: I love there was JJ Redick talked about this recently.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, stephen A Smith, okay, and I was like finally.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: He was like you.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Asking those questions shows me that you have no athletic background.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: You have no idea what the F you're talking about.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the suggestions that you're making also just your lack of IQ and understanding what it is to be a competitor and an athlete.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: And I was like high five about these reporters.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: They shut the like just be quiet, yes, and like okay.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Okay, now we understand.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Duh, they're just trying to get emotional reactions right of course, to get a blow.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: That's what makes the story to make the story appealing.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the same thing for mainstream media.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in general, it's, oh yeah, it's brutal yeah, it's brutal, so I guess, anyway recognizing it for what it is yeah so.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: So, kaitlyn clark, what she was saying is, you know, to base.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: She pretty much answered the question.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: She was like to base my worth as a player and as a person off 40 minutes compared to you know what I've done and and really what the main reason of why I play is, is ridiculous.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: She pretty much just like shut him down or her down.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it was a mail or whatever yeah, the reporter, thank you, and it was just like I'm not.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: It's not about winning championships yeah, that's great and all.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: But it's about, like, being a role model and leaving like a legacy and being a good, a good person, and uplifting women's sports, all the you know all the stuff.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: And so to what you were saying about mama mentality yeah, like it makes sense, but it's hard, it's really hard, not to focus on that, because then you think about parents, coaches again, the way that we all function daily, and it's like are you hitting the numbers right?
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Are you hitting the numbers?
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: You got to do more.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: You got to do more.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: You're not doing enough.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: I, you're not doing enough.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying this, I'm not saying that.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: And it's like that's why they're so focused on winning and losing and scoring and all that.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: So it's like, how do you, how do you start to shift that?
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: How do you start to shift?
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: Shift that mindset and and start to look at.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: And it takes time.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: It's like that's the other thing with the mental side.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Everyone's like well, how can I just like figure it out and make the change?
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: It's like it takes like years.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: You're like not unlearning but you are recognizing the patterns that you've done for totally unlearning things you've learned and you're reinforcing the things that sometimes you don't want to do more.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: It's hard.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure yeah totally so anyway.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: so, yeah, yeah, I completely agree with that really that's like to golf right.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: If I break 90, it's a great like I'm not mad.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if I break 90 full five, I'm like I could have done better.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: So that's where I'm at.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, so by no means my pro, um, but we help a lot of golfers for sure.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: I'm the first thing I say I'm not a golf pro, but mechanics and pain, like that's what we can work through.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: But, anyway.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: So, with that being said, for improving a golf game, I'm going to go to the range and just hit a thousand balls in practice.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: If I don't know what I'm doing, I'm reinforcing bad habits further, which makes it harder to unlearn, and the beginning process is unlearning the things that you thought were good to then implement the new things that actually are helpful.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, that sounds like what you were saying, and 100% is super hard, super hard.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: And then, on top of that, what you said earlier too, is like a lot of people look to the outcome and if it's not showing up, like I get golfers, I get tennis players, that's like and even basketball players that start to question and change things when really like consistency is probably going to lead to what you're wanting, outcome wise.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: But because the outcome you're not getting it consistently what you want, then you make changes.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: And now you're, you know, I mean, there's, of course, you got to make adjustments here and there, but like that constant, like oh, I didn't win, now I got to go back and like, change things around, okay, now I got to go back and it's like you've got to make adjustments here and there, but that constant.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't win.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: Now I've got to go back and change things around.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: Okay, now I've got to go back.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: It's like you're never going to see your.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: It's just routine consistency.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Right, so you're negatively affecting the potential consistency that you would have if you just stuck to the same thing with minor refinements.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, versus, like that didn't work, change everything.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: That's not working.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: Change everything and you're just constantly changing everything and still not getting the outcomes, and it's making it more challenging to get those outcomes.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: That makes sense With the parent thing.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Has there been situations where you're also coaching the athlete on how to navigate their parents?
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: And also speaking with parents, because I imagine I've this could be very challenging, right, there's been situations that I've been a part of or recognized, seen and stuff like that, um, where, like the moms and dads, of course, want the best right, right for the athlete but they don't get it yeah and then they're trying to coach the kid and opposite or just not help.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: What they might think is helpful actually isn't helpful.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: It might be, um, a counter intuitive thing of what they're already trying to do and learn, or also their own personality and stuff also right which is a super, not great right.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: It's like mental performance coach like yourself, yeah, other coaches, and they're like focus on this, this and this.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: This was going to be the consistency.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: They have a lot of credibility in the field, cool.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: And then they hear something else from their parents, like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: You just need to learn how to navigate your parents.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I would say like I don't know if I like the word navigate, but I will say when, when athletes continue to bring parents up, it's like okay, well, we need to think about bringing them into the conversation, because there's a lack of communication between the two of you.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like they, you don't know how they feel, they don't know how you feel, and you all keep doing the same stuff and it ain't working.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: So we need to all sit in a room and like, figure it out.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: And some athletes and parents want to do that and it's usually it's tough conversations, but it ends up working out really well at the end of the conversation, cause now we're all on the same page and we can work, work through the stuff that you know that's going on, we can communicate better.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Um, and then you know everything when it's not all said and put on the table and worked through.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Well, it stays the same.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a good point.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good point.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's uh, I'm sure it's very tough.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: So what?
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: What suggestions you have for parents or for young athletes who have a very zealous parent that they end up shutting that athlete shuts down.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do this, do that and like on field, and then they're like shut up, mom and dad, you know right, yeah, and they end up shutting down and retracting yeah yeah, what do you recommend for that?
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you've seen that a lot yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: I mean again, like parents really care about their kids.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: They want what's best and all parents are different, so we're all athletes.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: They respond differently, you know.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: So, um, I think the big thing kind of like going back to the out of your control stuff, um, and this goes with like coaches and teammates and opponents too, like it's out of your control and that's that's how it's gonna be and, you know, accepting the fact that it's it's like that, as long as it's, you know, safe, um, accepting the fact that it's like that and like don't be surprised when it comes up again because it will, and just knowing that, hey, that's out of my control.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: Let's use some of these skills to just help me manage the feelings, the thoughts that come up, you know, during that interaction.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: And again, I'm you know I, when I'm having these conversations, it's tough, because it's the same with coaches, like they just want what's best.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: And I make sure, when having conversations with the athletes or the parents, I'm advocating on both sides because at the end of the day, they all want the same thing.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: They all want to be really great and get the, you know, get into college and play in college or make it on whatever, make it on tour, they all want the same thing.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: Or make it on tour whatever, make it on tour, they all want the same thing.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: So it's advocating on both ends and really trying to stress that, hey, we all want the same thing.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: How can we make it work?
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, and like through my process, parents aren't in the dark, like I'm telling them what we're going over.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: I'm telling them, hey, I'm noticing some of this stuff, I'm noticing progress here.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: This is what we're working on.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: So they're aware of what's going on as well.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Um, and if they feel they need to make changes on their end, then they can, you know.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: So I imagine too, then it would be a difficult, a fine line of like I don't want to create an us versus them.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no that would be really bad?
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not at all.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: I mean, and that's the same with, like, coaches and teammates, we're all on the everybody's on the same team, everybody's on the same team.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: It's just again.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: It's that lack of communication and all our own stuff that we're not sharing and it's just building up and then we're using what, how we are, and putting it out there and it's like, okay, we gotta all come together because, again, we all want the same thing.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: Just got to figure out how to make it work what, um, what coaching suggest?
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: back to the reporter thing um, what's, what coaching suggestions do you have for athletes, navigating, reporters and stuff?
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so how do you feel about losing the game for everybody and completely tarnishing your whole career in college?
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: It's like what the fuck?
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Why would?
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Why, would you ask?
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, now I know why they're asking that, right, but then being like you're, you're an idiot, you know, right.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: Right, and again I think it goes back to like preparation of those conversations.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: Like I would not be surprised if in college, especially at those bigger schools, they are practicing how to respond especially, yeah, especially, with all the NIL stuff.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's probably.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: So they probably have like a class, or I would not be surprised or managers or something that's that are overseeing and teaching them things to say, so that that doesn't blow up in their face, because those questions are definitely meant to do that.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Poke, poke, poke, poke.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: So and it's just, I mean they're, you know, it's 20 year old, 20 year old kids that are just doing what they want to do, and they made it.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: And it's like, hey, let's.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it blows my mind, but yeah, I think just the same things, like they're performing in that moment.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: They are performing, yeah, they're in an interview, yeah, and in those moments, just like on the basketball court, on the field, on the course, whatever it is, those questions is like an opponent that keeps like taking cheap shots at you, or is that like mistake that keeps happening?
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: you know, that question that's just like, uh, you know, and it's like let me just take a breath here, let me slow down and now let me answer how I should yeah, there was a uh, I remember back in the what 10 years ago, james Winston was a quarterback for Florida State and a great quarterback, great athlete, you know, did well, yeah, baseball player as well, so a multi-sport athlete, cool.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: And he, they did really.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I forget what it was, but he did great, had a great game.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Everyone's celebrating on the field and Jimbo Fisher's giving a hug, reporters shoving a microphone in his face right and knowing he's going to get interviewed, and Jimbo and his ear was like humble pie.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Humble pie, just respond with humble pie, you know, yeah and I was like that's, totally, that's it.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: He's just coaching him right there five seconds before he's gonna get a microphone shoving in his face, right, you know, right, and I was like I, I was like I rebonded, I was like there it is, I saw it, you know, that's totally makes sense.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: That's the moment, yeah.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: That's the moment, yeah.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: So that well, is anything authentic?
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Then you think, like with those interviews, I was like it's all theater, right?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: It's just like I of poked me to get reviews and stimulate, you know, an emotional response to cause a viral moment.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Right, you know, mm-hmm.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Is anything authentic then?
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: That's a good question.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: I think yes, Because you can go the same side of it, like being out on the court.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: You know, Like you have those players like Angel Reese, you know she's that player that, like you, Talks.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: Trash Talks trash.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Thank you, I couldn't think of another word, talks trash, and you know last year was a little bit harsher, but that's like that's.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: You know that's her, that's that's it.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Her persona.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's cool and she also plays really great basketball.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: You know, kaylin Clark is a little bit more like doesn't really do anything.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: You know she kind of just is like yeah, after scoring like threes.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: So is that genuine stuff?
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think that what's cool is is you can hear when it's genuine and you can hear when it's not in the interviews.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Well, I can, and it's like her answer was genuine, you could hear.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: You can hear players frustration when it is a ridiculous question.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: And they answer in a way that is professional and respectful and honest.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: So, while it's let me hey, let me stay composed.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: I think there is authenticity to those answers, just like on the course.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: You know where they're staying composed, but they do still have and show that passion when they play.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, with something I was just thinking about common answers I hear over and over again.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like they're fishing but they're not getting what they want.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: They have to continue to do it.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: And then one time somebody blows up and it's like an emotional reaction, like Erin Andrews when she interviewed Richard Sherman after that great timing.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: You know like who, who do you mean?
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: And what was said?
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: You know I'll tell you.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: You know, I was like that's what she was trying to do, but the coaches same thing.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: You know it's like, hey, what strategy you can do for the second half?
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: You know, and this person is really failing and you guys aren't really doing great on defense and offense.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: He's like you know we're doing to put a lot of emphasis on the defense and really stopping the ball, and then we're going to do our best and really just move forward yeah it's like you didn't answer the question no it's just the same, like a blanket answer, and then move on to the next one and the guy is very frustrated, obviously.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: But, um, I just hear that same answer over and, over and over again, with like a large majority of everybody that answers, especially mid game.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: So I was like man, is it even authentic?
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: They're just saying what they need to say to just get it over with, right, you know?
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but they're not going to say on live TV what their plan is.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: No, exactly.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: You know like it's kind of like Let me tell you my secret.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: So we're really going to target this.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: We're going to go to the locker room and we're going to write this play on the board and this is the play, and this is what we're going to do, and we're actually going to sit this guy.
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: It's like they're not going to tell you that, like, why, what's the point of even doing the halftime interviews?
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Actually you know, but most people aren't, and they but anyway yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, they wanna um, but uh, so you were mentioning last time the greats, right, as a mental performance coach, yeah, um, optimizing performance, because, totally, I think everyone's in agreement like the mental game is the separating factor for high performers and all-stars versus players, despite the same physical attributes and athleticism, right, so it's the mental game.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the greats are able to recognize when they're not in a good mental state.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: And then get back into it quickly and then stay in the mental state.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: That's a good one.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm advantageous one for more consistently in longer periods to perform better right how are the greats able to recognize when they're out?
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Uh, that's a good question um versus just being like just continually going with the way they're, the direction they're going, and then be like, holy crap, the last 45 minutes I've been yeah, funk, right, right, or I just yeah, it's already right, it's too late yeah, it's too late.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: Um, so, lots of practice, of awareness, with the mindset and acknowledging where you're at.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: So, and you know a lot of times.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: My dad was actually talking to me about football last night and how his high school team would take.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: I know he was like he was back in the I still do that undefeated undefeated Cardinal Newman, like whatever 82 or whatever it was, we wouldn't have stayed.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: If coach would have put me in man, we wouldn't have stayed.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, undefeated whole season.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: He was so, so pumped about it.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: But he actually said something quite interesting.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like we have this kicker and like teenager would just go out and make field goals from like the 40 or 50.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: 20% of practice would be practicing special teams and kickoffs and punts.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: And he was like that's that separated us.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: And I started thinking about it, because I get a lot of athletes where we meet and the focus when they go out and play is all on the technical and tactical side.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: And I'm like hey got to use these skills, hey got to use these skills.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: And it's like why, like I'm trying, but like I also the score and this and I messed up here and dah, dah, dah.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: And it's like okay, for like 20% of practice, I need the focus to be more so on like mentals first, the technical and tactical stuff second, right.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: So when my dad said that last night, I was like bang, because I had a conversation with a golfer the other day and that's what I had to tell them.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: I was like you have to put the mental side first, like you just have to, like you have to and that's how you're going to work on it when you're out there, playing like the intention behind playing has to be working on that mental side, because that's when you're going to start to recognize, be aware and start using the tools that I teach you more intentionally to where you see change.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: We play like I remember basketball practice.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: First hour of practice would be the technical skills layup lines, dribbling drills, whatever, rebound, practicing, rebounding.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: And then, like the second half of practice would be all plays, technical, tactical, but like, when are we taking the time to like sit in practice, to be like, okay, ok, let's work on mental now.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Let's just take 30 minutes, 10 minutes, to just say OK, how are you going to do mentally on this hole, you know, or on in the scrimmage, this tough like game, or like you know, practice game or whatever, yeah, and really lock in on it.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: Or like you know, practice game or whatever and really lock in on it.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: And I think I think, from from my readings and what I hear like an interviews, I know those the greats.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: They take the time to really lock in and put effort into the mental side at practice.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: That makes sense.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: And then they start to realize things, just like as if you were to practice the technical and tactical stuff at practice, right.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: So they put the time in.
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: It's not like a second thought, it's the first thought.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: And so they realize what works for them.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: Everybody's different, everyone has different tendencies that work for them, and sometimes those things that work for them stop working when they're introduced to a new challenge, right.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: And so then they have to try something new.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: But once you're able to figure out who you are and what works for you and what sets you off and what bothers you, and start to work on finding a balance of those things and shifting the mindset and all that and it's 20% of your practice for however long to where you can actually figure it out, okay, now what, what's what works for you?
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: And then you can.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: That's how they they notice.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: That's interesting.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: I would.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: It makes total sense, as in like if you're not succeeding, you want to, which you can't control, but you can only control what you can do.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Of course, Right, but the outcomes still aren't consistently coming like you want.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Right now, the tacticals and your skills aren't a limiting factor, it's your mentals, yeah, okay, so let's shift priorities here then.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Right, you're good skills and you're good tactical, you're very athletic, we got it, but you're not as great as you want to be.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, we need to prioritize in the mentals component.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: That is your constraint here.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: That's the bottleneck, right, all right, so then let's practice the mentals.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: What does that look like in practice?
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Hey guys, we're going to do 30 minutes of mentals practice right now.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: What do we do?
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: That's.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: That's a great coach Nicole's going to come in here.
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: Let's go.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: So there's a lot of different things that you can do, actually, and some things you already do.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: So like, go to a basketball practice.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: I remember being a manager at Florida State and it was like you know, they'd practice game scenarios where they'd put a certain score up on the board.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: They'd create the scenario and try to almost like reenact as if it was this like nerve wracking, pressured situation.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Right, I'm assuming most teams probably do that.
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: Right, pretty sure I did it in high school.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, those things should be practiced, yeah, but that's a great example.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: We didn't do any of that.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: It's oh no.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Back in my day, back in the black and the glory days, we were undefeated.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: We lost one game, won the state championship.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: It's funny.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I don't want to make, I'm not making fun of anybody because I do it but then also I'm like man, I'm trying to instill in these young athletes that we still see Right.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like you're going to remember this for the rest of your life.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: It's going to be super impactful.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: It will.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: It is so like creating scenarios in your mind, creating scenarios like as best as you can, and feeling that pressure.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: So like an activity I do just in session is we write down like the negative, nasty thoughts that you say to yourself, ok, and then we go through this activity where I'm like, ok, we're going to start with the first thought on the sheet and I'm going to give you 10 seconds.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: I want you to read the thought and really get into that headspace that you get into when you start thinking about this.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: The negative one.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: The negative one.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: And just let yourself go there, right.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: It's not going to be exactly the same, not going to be as intense, but we want to try to get as close as possible.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: A little taste of it, yeah.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, going to feel that.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: And then I take them through, just noticing the thought, right, just to create that separation.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: So then I say, okay, repeat after me, we do the exercise.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: But something like that, where it's like all right, let's take 10 seconds, everybody take the next 10, 20 seconds and I want you to get in a headspace where you're like, when you're in a pressure situation, you feel super nervous.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: Take 20 seconds and try to get into that space and again it's going to take time.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: It's not like you're gonna be like.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: I have some people I've done group sessions where there's been athletes that's like, well, I can't make emotions come up and I'm like, okay, well then, how can you make them go away?
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: yeah, but it's like try mic drop yeah, okay, but anyway you can kind of get, you can get into that space.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: So, then how?
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: can you make them go away?
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Oh snap.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: Right, wait a minute.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: So try to get yourself in that space, okay, and then let's go through the situation.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: Let's play and then see how you manage it.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: Hey, how are you going to go into the situation before the whistle blows?
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: Are you taking deep breaths Like, what are you doing?
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: What have we?
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: You worked on with the mental coach where you're practicing that stuff, and then let's go execute now, and then after let's talk about it.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, how did you do?
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: How did you feel?
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: It's a lot, it's, it would be a lot more, in my opinion, where we're like going through some drills but then we talk about it.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, going, you know, reflect.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting you mentioned like I can't make emotions come up like dude, you totally can.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how does any actor in Hollywood cry on instant right or like?
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: So they're not actually upset by the way, they're just like acting right so how can you make that happen?
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: yeah, like emotions are literally just neurotransmitters that flood in and flood out and that can be manipulated and managed.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah, um, but yeah, totally.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: So how do you make them go away right effectively when it's like yo the whistle's blowing in five seconds?
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: right or manage them as you manage them in that time, and so then it's like let's practice it, or even just giving them challenging drills to go through.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: Where it's going to create frustration, where it's going to like they're on the documentary for michael jordan.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: When he was playing for the bulls they would be scrimmaging and like have you know, michael's team would be up by like 10 points and the coach would switch michael to the other team and with another player.
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: So now he's down.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: Like that would set a lot of athletes off, yeah.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: You know, and now it's like, okay, how do you come back from that?
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: So you're technically training him on a lot of different stuff.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: But then it's putting it into action, reflecting on it.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: Okay, how did this like help you?
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: Like what is working.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: That's cool.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's interesting.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: So what you were just describing whatever self-dialogue you have in a negative space and you're beating yourself up, right, whatever that phrase or whatever you call yourself, whatever you do, write it down and then try as best you can to get in there and then, on top of like a nervous situation, okay, now play, how did you feel?
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: How did you feel, yeah, right.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: So then you're like remember that, so that stimulates some awareness.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: So when you do get to that state in the middle of a game, you're like this is I recognize?
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: this.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've done this before I feel this where it's not like I know this is, yeah, some familiarity and they're like now I recognize what this feels like and really what it is.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: Now I can intervene.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, so now the next step is intervention.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, which is usually what?
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, it depends on coach nicole.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: What do we do now?
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Cool, we got it.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Now we're all like bummed and pressed and nervous, nervous, and we suck like now what?
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: yeah, um, a lot of different.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: I mean, it again depends on the athlete and what works for them.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: You know, uh, if it's some sort of like pick me up routine or if it's some sort of channeling routine, like there was a video of Kittle from Sam Fran and he was talking about when he was in college.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: He started working with mental performance coach and what he struggled with was he was fine on the blocking plays, but when it came to a route and he had to you know, he could be possibly one of the people that caught the ball he started to get in his head prior to the play.
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: Right, oh, I gotta run like just start overthinking everything, over focusing.
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: And so what they did is they created a reset button on his arm and so he would.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: Every day before or before the game, he put tape around his arm and so he would, every day before or before the game, he put tape around his arm, he draw a button and after every single play he'd hit the reset.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: Whether even if it was a good play, he'd hit the reset, so that if he was too excited, reset, if he was too upset with what happened, reset.
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: And then he goes on to talk about.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: You know, being professional, he doesn't have the button anymore, but that's why he has these two tattoos on his arm.
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: He has like a Joker tattoo and another tattoo and for him that's the reset and it's also like a channeling, like channeling of energy.
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: He didn't go into detail about what that is, but again, I think it just goes to show that, like, depending on the needs of the athlete and the skills that we have to provide you, then we figure out what works yeah Right, what is functional for you?
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah Right.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: Another one Jordan or John Rom, not Jordan, john Rom right Works with a mental performance coach and like, in between shots he like has this like whole negative internal dialogue where he's just like, but as soon as he gets the next ball, that's him letting it all out, gets the next ball, and that works for him.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean he's like an energy release.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember because a couple of years ago, in his earlier times in the tour, he was like a club thrower, like slammer yelling.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: He was a hothead.
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but that was a way for him to channel that energy that he was feeling.
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: And I think that's where we get stuck on the mental side, because everyone believes that you have to be calm and it's like guess what?
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: Not everybody are calm people.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: Right Like, and to tell them to be calm is even more anxiety inducing and frustrating.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: And you're just gonna.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: They're going to pop off even more because they can't get calm.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I think a huge pet peeve of mine what I've noticed in my own athletic careers and other things.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: People that have coached me and stuff like that were like no, no, no.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: What you need to do is this I'm like you're just looking back, I'm like you're just different.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: What works for them, what works better?
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: You know for sure.
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: And that was McCarthy, michigan quarterback.
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: He did an interview because the whole big thing was like him doing this pregame routine.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: Listen to Bob meditate under the field goalpost.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: Take off his shoes.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: Listen to who?
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: Bob Marley, so he'd listen to that all under the field goalpost, take off his shoes Like it was like the whole listen to who?
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: Uh Bob.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: Marley Okay, bob Marley.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: So he'd listened to that all morning leading up to the game and then, prior to the game, takes off his shoes, you know, walks on the grass, sits under the goalpost and meditates.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: It's him, that's him.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: That's what works for him state Right, and they were interviewing him and they were like, hey, like, how'd you come to that?
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: Like, what did you practice that?
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: Like, how long have you been doing that?
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: He's like, you know, growing up he went to IMG, like, and he was like, growing up I would look at all the great, great people and I would try and pull things from what they did, and it never just seemed to work for me, like, and it was frustrating because it worked for them and they're these great athletes, but it never seemed to work for me.
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: He was like so, you know, once I got into college, I decided like I'm going to take some time to figure out myself and what I think would work for myself.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: And it was experimenting, but this is what I came up with and it works.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: So, two things as you said, what other people do doesn't necessarily always work for you.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: One.
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: Two, and you have to figure that out for yourself.
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: You got to know who you are, and that's reflection and awareness.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: Two, um, what was my second point?
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: That it was experimenting?
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it took time to get there.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: It wasn't just like I got it it and it worked.
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: It's like he took his time to try different things, give it a shot and then came up with this routine and now he's going to be in NFL draft, probably go pretty quickly and won the national championship for football.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: It's pretty incredible.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's not.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: Hey, listen to Bob and sit under the goalpost and meditate.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: It's hey, figure out what works for you and experiment.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: And over time you'll refine and realize some things.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: Exactly Just like your game.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome man.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: I wish I had this when I was an athlete.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Same.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Right, gosh darn it.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: I know I know Like might like make a time machine go back.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: Don't pay saying quarter mile, yeah, um, do you ever see that movie, napoleon dynamite?
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: yeah, I saw it a long, long time ago the birds yeah, oh my god, the butterfly the butterfly it was so.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: It made me feel so weird, man, it's not my thing, but now, like, some of the quotes are hilarious, yeah, yeah, yeah, um, that's uh, so okay, you mentioned everyone's different right and they have their own perspectives and beliefs and the way they view things and what works for them and their own identity as an athlete.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I've noticed, I mean, I would hope some attunement of like.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Some athletes have their own personas and the way they project themselves, where they see themselves, and they have their own identity, right.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: Some seem to portray themselves as the villain, right, like dream on green, yeah yeah.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: And then some are very stoic and like very even keel, like Kawhi Leonard, right yeah.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: Um, russell Westbrook is definitely a fiery firecracker, you know?
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: Um, how do you recommend people find their identity?
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: as an athlete or as a person?
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right, right, right, um again self-reflection, and just like really taking the time to think about it, asking yourself like different types of questions as far as, like, what matters to you, um, when you've played your best, like where were you at?
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: And like, another good question is like, if, like, it was a perfect world and no one else's opinions mattered, like, who would you be?
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: You know, what would you be doing?
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: Like if it?
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: Because, like certain, there's definitely, uh, you have to be professional within right, within anything.
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: You got to have that respect, got to have professional um, but how do you take what, who you want to be, and like fit it to to that?
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: So, like john rom again, like, rather than throwing his club under his breath, just kind of like having it out cool, like that's another way to channel that yeah, that's awesome.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, um, what did I point to?
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: I was just.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: I just lost my train of thought I know you had something it was really cool okay, what did I?
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: When I pointed, when I pointed to you, what were you saying?
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: I was like I'm going to say something.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, Let me think back.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: So I said, now I'm blanking John Rom he, everybody's different.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: Everyone needs to figure it out Reflection, knowing who you want to be Asking, knowing who you want to be asking yourself.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: Asking yourself in a perfect world.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, that inauthentic, all right.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: So the best definition of authenticity I've heard is how would you act if you had no repercussions?
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: and no punishment.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like no punishment, which comes also with like judgment, or like people looking down on you or thinking you're weird or right.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Just how would you act if nobody was going to punish you and you had no repercussions?
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's your best authentic self Right, saying whatever you like, the things that you would want to say and project, not like a Dr Jekyll, mr Hyde kind of situation Right, but I was like man.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: That makes total sense because people act.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: I know I'm myself Right, oh, projecting and acting a certain way to be accepted, fear of rejection, fear of failure, or looking or shameful like whatever, looking weird or whatever you know.
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: Right or acting within your box.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: you've been placed in you know, yeah, there you go yeah.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's annoying.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: That's super annoying.
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: It's really annoying.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: For what would you say for you then would be for for your as an athlete back in the day, right If you were to go back and coach young Nicole in high school be like, be your identity, find yourself in the best authenticity that you can be yourself.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: What would your answer have been?
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: Um a hothead that speaks my mind.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you thought you were muffled, and yeah.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: So were you more of like a like John Robbins, labeled as a hothead right, but just more emotionally outbursting, more of a firecracker.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, you're pretty subdued.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't have expected that.
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, two years of grad school where you just We'll do that yeah.
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: To listen to people.
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: Really done wonders listen to people really done wonders and along that, like many years of uh repercussion of speaking my mind.
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: So so more outspoken, more speaking your mind, yeah, and more um expressing emotions yeah, yeah okay, so then what would your strategies have been?
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Then you yell into a towel, you know, or?
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: that's a good question.
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, I don't.
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: I I feel like, um, yeah, it would be some sort of like yelling and something physical.
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: I was very physical athlete too, like I.
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: That's why I loved basketball, cause you could just like run into people and like you know, um, yeah, it would probably be something physical, like jumping or clapping really loudly, maybe even like I mean probably like slapping my leg or something.
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: Um, yeah, it would be something like that yeah, yeah, we're very similar, if I let it out.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: You know, really hard I felt a lot better yeah which is pretty alarming for people around me you know, like you, okay, and I'm like no, I'm good, you know um, or like punching my fists, you know which, but didn't feel good.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so like, so, okay, so someone like that.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: What do you recommend then?
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: Because you can't put, you can't punch your leg right, you're like no, no, yeah, you don't want to do that.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: You can't punch your fist, you don't want to do that.
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of I mean there's a lot of different things that you could try, depending, depending on the sport, like I I said, like jumping, I've been just to see like with all this stuff smacking a helmet.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I wonder if there'd be like a punching bag or a heavy bag on a sideline for some people.
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've told like tennis players.
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: I'm like squeeze the ball as hard as you can.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: You know, squeeze the racket as hard as you can, Like I said, like jumping up and down, like doing some like hops or like clapping really hard Um yeah, I could imagine that too.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: The jump like big old squat jumps you know, just like popping up, yeah.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: Get up there as high as you can, 10 times in a row.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: Just like release it, like let it out.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: Um cause that's tough, yeah, like even now, like I was saying earlier, like as a dad, um managing my emotions and stress and anxiety, whatever.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: And as a spouse, you know whatever it's challenging and you can't just, like you know, be super emotionally outbursting as like the rock of the family in front of people to be very paralyzing and negative, right Bad repercussions.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: Um, something that was recommended to me recently the jump squats are great.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just banging out pushups.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, nice you need to release it, just like get on the ground and just freaking, get after it.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: A hundred, like 50 right away, Just bang it out.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: It's like what if I'm?
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: Like not warm the PT comes out exactly so what other recommendations you have then?
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: yeah.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: So I think again, just that awareness piece I think is always helpful, like I do this technique where it's performance zones and just by giving the athlete a way to label what it is, it's like it's wild.
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: It just kind of makes all the difference, and I use it for communication with parents and athletes.
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: So it's red light.
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: It just kind of makes all the difference and I use it for communication with parents and athletes.
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: So it's red light, green light, yellow light and red spiraling out of control.
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: Green is go flow and yellow is like a funky, inconsistent zone.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: As in like okay, athlete, where are you at right now?
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: Red.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: Yep, I'm green.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a greenish yellow.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: Right yeah, red, yep, I'm green, yeah, I'm a greenish, yellow, right yeah.
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: And then you kind of you're more aware, you could be more proactive.
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: Um, I use that with my fiance, like if I'm just like tired, hungry, just got home from work, and he's like he's ball of energy and I'm like I'm like, hey, I'm in the red, I need to eat food.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: And he's like all right, and then he leaves me alone.
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, and vice versa.
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it works because, then you know there's another one that I learned and it's three, five, eight.
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: So, like everybody's energy levels can be one to 10.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: Right, but just to keep it simple, you go three, five and eight, eight's.
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: Like you're super high energy, you're like happy, and you're like woo, woo, woo.
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: You know like okay, I'm here, like, and five is like in the middle, Like you're kind of just, you're coasting Right, and I use that with him too.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: I'm like hey, you're at an eight, I'm at a three, or vice versa, I'm at an eight, I can tell you're at a three, and then we kind of like try to meet in the middle out of five, you know.
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: So, just having those, that tool it, communication, that is the key.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Cause you're like okay, I understand where you're at Cause sometimes we don't know, and we're just kind of like, and it's like then they're like you know what did I do?
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: So?
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: And that's the same thing with like knowing yourself.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: Like when you're on court, it's like, okay, I'm at a three, like how do I like start bringing myself up a little bit?
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: Or I'm at red.
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: I'm at red, like how do I stop and take a minute and like, do what I need to do, channel the energy, calm down whatever it is that works for you, talk myself up, whatever it is, and get back to that like yellow state yeah, the uh with the like relationship.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: That no means my pro right.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: With two kids in the mix it definitely amplifies that stuff.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: We're also doing like a house renovation right now too.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: Oh boy, that's tough.
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: But yeah, totally, we'll misfire.
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: And you know, if I'm like reading or something like that, I'm like in a philosophical mood and be like hey, so I read this cool thing about this, this and this and she's like a three, you know she's she's not into it or vice versa.
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like I'm not.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm at a red, you know, but we need to get better at that.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: Hey, there you go.
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: I mean we all, I mean even me and my fiance.
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: We have our moments where it's just like oh, and then we regroup and we're like okay, so yeah not going into this conversation.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: I should have asked where are we at this?
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: Is expecting something different.
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: Right, also too, like, hey, like, if you notice they're not engaged, then be like hmm, where are you?
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: at yeah.
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay, we'll talk about it later.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, whenever we're at.
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, got it.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so this is a tough one.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: I can imagine someone's at a three and they're like I need to get ready for this game or practice, or whatever.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's, let's boost up to a 10.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: Right now.
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't happen like that.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: No, I would imagine getting from a low to a high is probably harder than getting from.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: I might have my own perspective from a red to a green.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: I quickly can do that with a release.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: But getting from a three to an eight or a nine, yeah, how do you just boost energy like that?
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: yeah, I think that's, I think it's hard, um, and it depends on, like, what energy we're talking about and where they're at like.
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: If they're at a three calm and focus, cool, like, and if that works for them, great.
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: But if they're at like a three, sluggish flat sluggish yeah then it all right.
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: What do we need to do?
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: And a lot of times, what I tell my athletes if it's like that flat, three, sluggish, it's like let's just um.
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: Usually they have some sort of pre match game routine, uh, that they go through.
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: That'll help them get to a state that they want to be in, uh, where they have things in place, and if they're still not there when they get into the game, it's like just focus on something small, like focus on doing something super small in your control.
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: So if it's, like you know, getting in there and like going after a rebound or um, just really trying to play conservative on this hole and see how well you do with that, or so it makes a lot more chewable versus like there's no way I can climb this mountain yeah, no, no way but right now, the all I'm going to focus on is just like take the first two steps, that's it that's it all I'm going to focus on just doing rebounds right, or just do this and it makes a lot more.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: That makes sense.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, more chewable yeah, more chewable.
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: And then you start to build that momentum because you're accomplishing it, you're working through it, you have something to focus on and you're like you start to get in a groove you're like I am doing what I said I was going to do yeah, now I can add on oh, exactly, yeah, and you have a clear mind to add sorry, that's really cool.
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: That makes uh, that makes total sense yeah um slumps yeah are a hard one yeah consistently not getting the outcomes you want.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: Over and over, and, over and over again right um, I'm sure you battle that a lot with some of your athletes, or your athletes battle that a lot some, yeah, some do some.
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: um, it's tough because it goes back to results, right like the slumps.
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: It's like, well, I, well, I'm just I'm not hitting, and sometimes the mechanical stuff kind of gets funky and I think in those moments it's more so tapping into the love for the game, being forgiving of yourself and just continue to grind.
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: Like appreciating the journey, making the most of what you're doing right now.
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: Like we all go through slumps, we all have.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Like it's interesting looking, even before this conversation, looking back at like in baseball, right, I'm hitting slump.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: Or golf, like just not hitting well, striking the ball well, whatever.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: Or basketball performance.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: Looking back, I'm like man, getting out of slumps is so difficult because it's such a mental game.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: But like now I'm like actually it's pretty simple Just doing this rubric, the same routines and the same practices, right, right, that's, that's all I can control anyway.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: Right, and looking at, trying to look at the little things that are going well, you know that are going well, that you are doing well, and it could be as simple as like.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: I think we take a lot of the simple things for granted, like you showing up early.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 3: You can do that if you're in a slump, and I know it's kind of like, eh, but guess what?
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: It's a big deal.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: Does everybody show up early?
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: Probably not.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: You know be the Kobe says it be the first one there, last one to leave, like doing little things like that, just to boost, boost yourself.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: And the momentum, like you said before, yeah, little things like that just to boost, boost yourself.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: And the momentum, like you said before yeah, it's one more little chewable thing that you can 100 control?
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it will build momentum yeah that makes sense.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: Um, last question, yeah, this, I was going to ask this earlier, I just remembered it again.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: Um, we talked about, um, someone who's more of a firecracker, um hothead, or just needs emotional releases, like a john rom, right, yeah, yeah, um, and he has his strategies.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: What about the opposite, with an athlete that's more reserved and will shut down?
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: Right, my wife, her name's nicole, I think.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: I told you that yeah, I feel like she was more like that on that end, like literally probably opposite of me, yeah, and probably you as in like um more reserved, subdued, self-effacing, doesn't like be center of attention but also would shut down, then what?
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: She was telling me stories, at least.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: So someone like that.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: What strategies would you say for that?
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely targeting, like what's the shutdown from, like what's the focus of, like reasoning behind the shutdown, obviously, because there could be different reasons to shut down.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: And then really going from there like small, focusing on a small goal, um, like when you say shutting down, I think giving up, I don't know, though, if that's like I said, you kind of have to figure out what the shutting down is, rather than like firing.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: You know interesting.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, like what does that shutting down look?
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: Um, and then from there, like depending on what, that is okay, then how do we work through that?
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: You know, like I had this one tennis player where it was just like they would shut down because they didn't want to feel like nervous or pressure, so they just shut down.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: So they were afraid of the emotions that come with it.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah Well, everybody's afraid of the emotions that come with it.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, interesting, they do things to stop feeling it.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to feel afraid, I don't want to feel.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to stop moving on court.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so that way I don't feel the pressure.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: And then yeah, cause they don't want to feel it A lot.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: And yeah, cause they don't, cause we don't learn how to cope with those emotions.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we just distract and avoid constantly and try to be more positive.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the whole.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: That's a whole other thing, but anyway.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: Um yeah, so then it's figuring out.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: Um, what was I saying before?
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: that I got off.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 3: Track topic gets me every time.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: That's so interesting.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: It is interesting, so let me hold on.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: I can tell it triggered you.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Next podcast Round three.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: We'll get into that.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, round three.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: So you're saying you had a tennis athlete that would shut down and not move?
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: And not move.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: It was the fear of, and so it was really like, okay, well, you're going to feel those emotions anyway, let's figure out like it's part of it's part of life.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: So, like, let's figure out how to be more willing to feel those things and know that you can have tools to manage them.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: It's not not bad to feel those things and it's not as scary as one.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: It's uncomfortable, but we can work through.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 3: Through that, excuse me, and then from there, um, keep moving your feet, focus on moving your feet.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: I think once you tackle that like that, if that's the root of a lot of it, um and I would assume comes from outside something besides tennis yeah which is very interesting, which?
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: the, the emotion stuff yeah I mean it could be as simple as like your parents just don't talk about emotions yeah you know like it could be something as simple as that.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: They're not, you know, and that's you know.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of different things and again, everything.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: Just like the solution, a problem fixed.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: Always giving solutions Like that's.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 3: That's the constant message to all of us.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: Negative emotions are bad.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: Don't feel them.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: Be positive all the time and it's like okay.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: Well, by teaching everybody that we're constantly avoiding and um, fearing and having anxiety about getting anxiety and it's like you're just doing more and good yeah for sure.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: So yeah.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: Interesting.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: Well, we'll have to get you in for round three on coping, emotional management and coping strategies and not being afraid of negative emotions.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is uncomfortable, but it's not going to.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: You're not going to die, right, right and only be stronger as an individual if you could be more resilient with that stuff.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right, yeah, or willing to feel it Right, exactly, yeah, right, exactly, because it's information.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, exactly, yeah, exactly.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: We'll do round three for sure.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: Well, thanks for coming in again.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, thanks for having me.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: I know you're super busy.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: I always appreciate it.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: If people want to work with you or have questions, what's the best way they can reach out?
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: So my Instagram is at coachnicolee and email is n Eric, to ease in the middle with a K at the end, at gmailcom.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: Okay cool.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, awesome, cool, and I've definitely.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: I've sent a, a recommended you to a couple of our patients, so it was like young athletes that are it's, that's the.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: This is the key right, in my opinion, for like, longevity and performance.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah Well, thanks for coming in and for any suggestions, comments or conflicting opinions, like.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: We're always open to that stuff.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: If you're already battling a pain from a sports physical therapy standpoint, you can always reach out to us too.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: We'd love to help you, and the best way to reach us is our phone number at 561-899-8725 or our email for our administrator, which is team at athleterccom, and we'll catch y'all next time.