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03 - Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse · Adventure Books Collection

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Chapter three, Gattama. In the town of Savathi, every child knew the
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name of the Exalted Buddha, and every house was prepared to fill the arms
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dish of Gatama's disciples. The silently begging ones near the town was Gatarmah's favorite
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place to stay, the grove of Jetavana, which the rich merchant Anatha Pindika,
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an obedient worshiper of the Exalted One, had given him and his people
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for a gift. All tales and answers which the two young aesthetics had received
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in their search for Gatama's abode, had pointed them towards this area, and
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arriving at Savathi. In the very first house, before the door of which
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they stopped to beg food has been offered to them, and they accepted the
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food, and Sadartha asked the woman who handed them the food, We would
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like to know, oh, charitable one, where the Buddha dwells, the
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most venerable one. For we are two Somanas from the forest and have come
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to see him, the perfected One, and to hear the teachings from his
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mouth. Quoth the woman here, you have truly come to the right place.
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You somanas from the forest. You should know in Jettavana, in the
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garden of Anatha Pindika is where the Exalted One dwells. There, you pilgrim
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shall spend the night, for there is enough space for the innumerable who flock
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here to hear the teachings from his mouth. This made Govinda happy and full
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of joy. He exclaimed, Well, so thus we have reached our destination
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and our path has come to an end. But tell us, o,
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mother of the pilgrims, do you know him, the Buddha? Have you
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seen him with your own eyes? Quoth the woman. Many times I have
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seen him, the Exalted One. On many days I have seen him walking
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through the alleys in silence, wearing his yellow cloak, presenting his arms dish
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in silence at the doors of the houses, leaving with a filled dish.
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Delightedly, Govinda listened and wanted to ask and hear much more, but sa'
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Darthur urged him to walk on. They thanked and left and hardly had to
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ask for directions, for rather many pilgrims and monks as well from Gautama's community
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were on their way to the Jettevanna, and since they reached it. At
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night, there were constant arrivals, shouts, and talk of those who sought
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shelter and got it. The two Somanas, accustomed to life in the forest,
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found quickly and without making any noise, a place to stay, and
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rested there until the morning. At sunrise, they saw with astonishment what a
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large crowd of believers and curious people had spent the night here on all paths
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of the marvelous grove. Monks walked in yellow robes under the trees. They
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sat here and there in deep contemplation or in a conversation about spiritual matters.
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The shady gardens looked like a city full of people, bustling like bees.
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The majority of the monks went out with their arms dish to collect food in
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town for their lunch, the only meal of the day. The Buddha himself,
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the Enlightened One, was also in the habit of taking his walk to
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beg in the morning. Siddartha saw him, and he instantly recognized him,
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as if a god had pointed him out to him. He saw him a
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simple man in a yellow robe, bearing the arms dish in his hand,
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walking silently. Look here, said Arthur, said quietly to Govinda, this
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one is the Buddha. Attentively, Govinda looked at the monk in the yellow
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robe, who seemed to be in no way different from the hundreds of other
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monks, and soon Govinda also realized this is the one, and they followed
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him and observed him. The Buddha went on his way, modestly and deep
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in his thoughts. His calm face was neither happy nor sad. It seemed
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to smile gently and inwardly, with a hidden smile, quiet calm, somewhat
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resembling a healthy child. The Buddha walked, wore the robe, and placed
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his feet, just as all of his monks did according to a precise rule.
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But his face and his walk, his quietly lowered glance, his quietly
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dangling hand, and even every finger of his quietly dangling hand expressed peace,
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expressed perfection, did not search, did not imitate, breathed softly in an
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unwithering calm, in an unwithering light, an untouchable peace. Thus Gottarma walked
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toward the town to collect arms, and the two Somanas recognized him solely by
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the perfection of his calm, by the quietness of his appearance in which there
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was no searching, no desire, no imitation, no effort to be seen,
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only light and peace. To day, we'll hear the teachings from his
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mouth, said Govinda. Sir Arthur did not answer. He felt little curiosity
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for the teachings. He did not believe that they would teach him anything new.
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But he he had, just as Govinda had heard the contents of this
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Buddha's teachings again and again, though these reports only represented second or third hand
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information. But attentively he looked at Gatama's head, his shoulders, his feet,
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his quietly dangling hand, and it seemed to him as if every joint
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of every finger of this hand was of these teachings, spoke of, breathed,
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of inhaled, the fragrance of glistened of the truth. This man,
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this Buddha, was truthful down to the gesture of his last finger. This
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man was holy. Never before Siddartha had venerated a person so much, Never
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before he had loved a person as much as this one. They both followed
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the Buddha until they reached the town, and then returned in silence, for
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they themselves intended to abstain from food. On this day, they saw Gautarma
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returning what he ate could not even have satisfied a bird's appetite, And they
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saw him retiring into the shade of the mango trees. But in the evening,
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when the heat cooled down and everyone in the camp started to bustle about
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and gathered around, they heard the Buddha teaching. They heard his voice,
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and it was also perfected, was of perfect calmness, was full of peace.
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Gautama taught the teachings of suffering, of the origin of suffering, of
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the way to relieve suffering. Calmly and clearly. His quiet speech flowed on
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suffering. Was life full of suffering, was the world. But salvation from
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suffering had been found. Salvation was obtained by him who would walk the path
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of the Buddha. With a soft yet firm voice. The Exalted One spoke,
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taught the four main doctrines, taught the eightfold path. Patiently, he
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went the usual path of the teachings, of the examples of the repetitions.
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Brightly and quietly. His voice hovered over the listeners like a light, like
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a starry night. When the Buddha night had already fallen, ended his speech
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man near Pilgrim stepped forward and asked to be accepted into the community, sought
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refuge in the teachings, and Gatama accepted them by saying, you have heard
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the teachings, well it has come to you. Well, does join us
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and walk in holiness to put an end to all suffering. Behold. Then
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Govinda the shay also stepped forward and spoke, I also take my refuge in
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the Exalted One and his teachings. And he asked to be accepted into the
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community of the disciples and was accepted. Right afterwards, when the Buddha had
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retired for the night, Govinda turned to Siddhartha and spoke eagerly, said,
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Arthur, it is not my place to scold you. We have both heard
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the Exalted One, and we have both perceived the teachings. Govinda has heard
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the teachings, he has taken refuge in it. But you, my honored
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friend, don't you also want to walk the path of salvation? Would you
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want to hesitate? Do you want to wait any longer? Sad Arthur awakened
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as if he had been asleep when he heard Govinda's words for a long time.
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He looked into Govinda's face. Then he spoke quietly in a voice without
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mockery. Govinda, my friend, Now you have taken this step. Now
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you have chosen this path always, Oh Govinda, you've been my friend.
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You've always walked one step behind me. Often I have thought, won't Govinda
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for once also take a step by himself without me out of his own soul.
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Behold, now you've turned into a man and are choosing your path for
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yourself. I wish that you would go it up to its end, oh,
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my friend, that you shall find salvation. Govinda, not completely understanding
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it yet, repeated his question in an impatient tone. Speak up, I
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beg you, my dear, tell me, since it could not be any
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other way, that you, also, my learned friend, will take your
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refuge with the exalted Buddha. Saird Arthur placed his hand on God's shoulder.
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You failed to hear my good wish for you, oh Govinda, I am
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repeating it. I wish that you would go this path up to its end,
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that you shall find salvation. In this moment, Govinda realized that his
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friend had left him, and he started to weep, said Darthur. He
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exclaimed lamentingly, Sir Arthur kindly spoke to him. Don't forget, Govinda,
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that you are now one of the Samanas of the Buddha. You have renounced
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your home and your parents, renounced your birth and possessions, renounced your free
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will, renounced all friendship. This is what the teachings require, This is
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what the Exalted One wants, This is what you wanted for yourself. Tomorrow,
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oh Govinda, I'll leave you for a long time. The friends continue
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walking in the grove. For a long time. They lay there and found
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no sleep, and over and over again. Govinda urged his friend he should
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tell him why he would not want to seek refuge in Gotama's teachings, what
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fault he would find in these teachings. But Saiddartha turned him away every time
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and said, be content, Govinda, very good are the teachings of the
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Exalted One? How could I find a fault in them? Very early in
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the morning, a follower of Buddha, one of his oldest monks, went
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through the garden and called all those to him who had, as novices taken
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their refuge in the teachings, to dress them up in the yellow robe,
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and to instruct them in the first teachings and duties of their position. Then
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Govinda broke loose, embraced once again his childhood friend, and left with the
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novices. But Siddarthur walked through the grove lost in thought. Then he happened
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to meet Gautama, the Exalted One, And when he greeted him with respect,
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and the Buddha's glance was so full of kindness and calm, the young
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man summoned his courage and asked the Venerable One for the permission to talk to
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him. Silently, the Exalted One nodded his approval. Quoth Siddarthur, yesterday,
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oh Exalted One, I had been privileged to hear your wondrous teachings together
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with my friend. I had come from Afar to hear your teachings. And
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now my friend is going to stay with your people. He has taken his
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refuge with you. But I will again start on my pilgrimage as you please.
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The Venerable Worm spoke politely. Too bold is my speech, said Arthur,
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continued, but I do not want to leave the Exalted One without having
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honestly told him my thoughts. Does it please the Venerable One to listen to
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me for one moment longer. Silently, the Buddha nodded his approval. Quoth
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said Arthur, One thing, O most venerable one, I have admired in
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your teaching. Most of all, everything in your teachings is perfectly clear,
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is proven. You are presenting the world as a perfect chain, a chain
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which is never and nowhere broken, an eternal chain, the links of which
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are causes and effects. Never before this has been seen so clearly, Never
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before this has been presented so irrefutably. Truly, the heart of every Brahman
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has to be stronger with love once he has seen the world through your teachings,
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perfectly connect, without gaps, clear as a crystal, not depending on
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chance, not depending on God's whether it may be good or bad, whether
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living according to it would be suffering or joy. I do not wish to
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discuss. Possibly this is not essential, but the uniformity of the world,
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That everything which happens is connected, That the great and the small things are
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all encompassed by the same forces of time, by the same law of causes,
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of coming into being and of dying. This is what shines brightly out
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of your exalted teachings, Oh perfected one, but according to your very own
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teachings, this unity and necessary sequence of all things is nevertheless broken in one
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place through a small gap. This world of unity is invaded by something alien,
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something new, something which had not been there before, and which cannot
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be demonstrated and cannot be proven. These are your teachings of overcoming the world
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of salvation. But with this small gap, with this small breach, the
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entire eternal and uniform law of the world is breaking apart again and becomes void.
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Please forgive me for expressing this subjection quietly. Gautama had listened to him
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unmoved. Now he spoke the perfected one with his kind, with his polite
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and clear voice. You've heard the teachings, O, son of a Brahman,
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and good for you that you've thought about it thus deeply. You've found
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a gap in it, an error. You should think about this further.
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But be warned, oh seeker of knowledge, of the thicket of opinions and
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of arguing about words. There is nothing to opinions. They may be beautiful
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or ugly, smart or foolish. Everyone can support them or discard them.
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But the teachings you've heard from me are no opinion and Their goal is not
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to explain the world to those who seek knowledge. They have a different goal.
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Their goal is salvation from suffering. This is what Gautama teaches nothing else.
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I wish that you, oh, Exalted One, would not be angry
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with me, said the young man. I have not spoken to you like
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this to argue with you, to argue about words. You are truly right.
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There is little to opinions. But let me say this one more thing.
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I have not doubted in you for a single moment. I have not
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doubted for a single moment that you are Buddha. That you have reached the
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goal, the highest goal towards which so many thousands of Brahmins and the sons
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of Brahmans are on their way. You have found salvation from death. It
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has come to you in the course of your own search, on your own
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path, through thoughts, through meditation, through realizations, through enlightenment. It
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has not come to you by means of teachings. And thus is my thought,
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O Exalted One, nobody will obtain salvation by means of teachings. You
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will not be able to convey and say to anybody, O Venerable One,
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in words and through teachings, what has happened to you in the hour of
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enlightenment. The teachings of the Enlightened Buddha contain much. It teaches many to
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live righteously, to avoid evil. But there is one thing that these so
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clear, these so venerable teachings, do not contain. They do not contain
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them mystery of what the Exalted One has experienced for himself, he alone among
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hundreds of thousands. This is what I have thought and realized when I have
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heard the teachings. This is why I am continuing my travels, not to
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seek other better teachings, for I know there are none, but to depart
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from all teachings and all teachers, and to reach my goal by myself,
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or to die. But often I'll think of this day, oh Exalted One,
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and of this hour when my eyes beheld a holy man. The Buddha's
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eyes quietly looked to the ground, quietly, in perfect equanimity. His inscrutable
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face was smiling. I wish the Venerable One spoke slowly, that your thoughts
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shall not be in error, that you shall reach the goal. But tell
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me, have you seen the multitude of my somanas, my many brothers who
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have taken refuge in the teachings, And do you believe, oh stranger,
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O Somana, do you believe that it would be better for them to abandon
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the teachings and to return into the life of the world and of desires.
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Far is such a thought from my mind, exclaimed said Arthur. I wish
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that they shall stay with the teachings, that they shall reach their goal.
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It is not my place to judge another person's life. Only for myself.
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For myself alone, I must decide, I must choose. I must refuse.
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Salvation from the self is what we Samanas search for, Oh exalted One.
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If I merely were one of your disciples, O Venerable One, I'd
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fear that it might happen to me that only seemingly, only deceptively, myself
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would be calmed and be redeemed, but that in truth it would live on
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and grow. For then I had replaced myself with the teachings, my duty
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to follow you, my love for you and the community of the monks.
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With half of a smile, with an unwavering openness and kindness, Gautama looked
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into the stranger's eyes and bid him to leave with a hardly noticeable gesture.
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You are wise, o Samana, the venerable one spoke, You know how
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to talk wisely, my friend, but be aware of too much wisdom.
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The Buddha turned away, and his glance and half of a smile remained forever
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etched in said Arthur's memory. I have never before seen such a person glance
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and smile, sit and walk this way, he thought. Truly, I
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wished to be able to go glance and smile, sit and walk this way
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too, Thus free, thus venerable, thus concealed, thus open, thus
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childlike, and mysterious. Truly, only a person who has succeeded in reaching
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the innermost part of his self would glance and walk this way. Well,
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So I also will seek to reach the innermost part of myself. I saw
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a man, said Arthur, thought, a single man before whom I would
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have to lower my glance. I do not want to lower my glance before
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any other, not before any other. No teachings will entice me any more.
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Since this man's teachings have not enticed me. I am deprived by the
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Buddha, thought, said Arthur. I am deprived, and even more he
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has given to me. He has deprived me of my friend, the one
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who had believed in me and now believes in him, who had been my
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shadow and is now Gautama's shadow. But he has given me Saddhartha myself and
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of chapter three