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Subconscious Resistance · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Good day out there to all of my listeners, and I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way and Your Way?
0:32
Cassandra: Yeah, that's the title, and that's also the title of my book.
0:36
Cassandra: And for those new listeners out there, I am your host, and my name is Cassandra Crawley Mayo.
0:43
Cassandra: And let me share something with you.
0:45
Cassandra: You know, I've I've been doing podcasting for quite some time now.
0:50
Cassandra: And when I started doing them, I was kind of gearing it more to self-improvement, primarily about purpose.
0:59
Cassandra: And it's primarily it is about that, but that's it's not about that.
1:04
Cassandra: What it's really about, it's about freedom.
1:07
Cassandra: It's about freedom to start living your best life on your terms.
1:12
Cassandra: And let me tell you what that means.
1:15
Cassandra: Are you living in a way that makes you happy, authentic, and are you feeling fulfilled?
1:22
Cassandra: Are you kind of think about that?
1:24
Cassandra: So I just kind of talk about things and I invite my guests on to kind of talk about some of the experiences they've experienced and how currently they're in alignment and they're living their best life on their terms, and just know that's different for all of us.
1:41
Cassandra: Okay, so I'm gonna share today our topic is subconscious resistance blocking your breakthrough.
1:51
Cassandra: And let me introduce you to my guest.
1:53
Cassandra: Her name is Kelsey Aida.
1:58
Cassandra: Hi, Kelsey.
2:01
Cassandra: Hi, thanks for having me.
2:03
Cassandra: I'm so glad that you are here.
2:06
Cassandra: I um my guest always kind of want to know who is she to talk about subconscious resisting and blocking your breakthrough?
2:18
Cassandra: What does subconscious have to do with anything?
2:21
Cassandra: So let me share this.
2:23
Cassandra: What if the life you desire is not being blocked by lack of effort, but by subconscious resistance you cannot yet see.
2:34
Cassandra: Kelsey's going to reveal why vision boards and positive thinking may not be enough and what it takes to move from wishing to aligned action.
2:46
Cassandra: So I let me tell you, my listeners, I really want to hear about this because I've done vision boards and all of that.
2:53
Cassandra: So I just want to hear her perspective, and I want you to hear her perspective.
2:57
Cassandra: Why and how powerful that subconscious can be.
3:00
Cassandra: And for now, I'm gonna read a little bit of her bio so you can kind of get an understanding of how it kind of sort of all happened.
3:09
Cassandra: Well, Kelsey is a best-selling author, energetic alignment coach, and co-host of High Viving.
3:17
Cassandra: It's a top 0.1% podcast with more than a half a million downloads.
3:25
Cassandra: Wow.
3:26
Cassandra: Through her books, her courses, her retreats, and her podcast, she helps people uncover unconscious resistance, release self-sabotage, and turn awareness into aligned action.
3:41
Cassandra: Her books include Letters to the Universe, My Pocket Guide to Manifestation, and the forthcoming, the manifesting fix.
3:52
Cassandra: So this is the deal.
3:54
Cassandra: She's also a love expert.
3:57
Cassandra: So, listeners, I would like for you to think about what you are looking for.
4:02
Cassandra: Is it love?
4:03
Cassandra: Is it fitness?
4:06
Cassandra: Is it peace of mind or just more meaning in your life?
4:11
Cassandra: Is it better relationships with someone or some people?
4:18
Cassandra: We are going to talk about how you can finally do it all.
4:22
Cassandra: All right.
4:23
Cassandra: So listen here, Kelsey.
4:26
Cassandra: I want you to tell my audience what in your backstory have led you to the work that you're doing today.
4:33
Cassandra: What in the world happened back in those days?
4:36
Kelsey: Oh my gosh, so much stuff.
4:38
Kelsey: As we were kind of getting into before we hit record, I've lived many lives in this short young life so far, it seems like.
4:47
Kelsey: They're like, oh my gosh, this is perfect.
5:07
Kelsey: You're made for this.
5:08
Kelsey: But then I would get injured all the time.
5:10
Kelsey: So in my late teens, when it was time to like start auditioning for companies and go to college and like go pro, of course, I bent too far backwards and they thought I broke my vertebrae, but actually I sprained my back really bad.
5:22
Kelsey: And then my hip was just really overworked from all the years of over-rotating and my labrum was all messed up.
5:30
Kelsey: So basically, my body was just not on board with my life plan of becoming a professional dancer.
5:36
Kelsey: And absolutely crushed me, destroyed me, obliterated my identity.
5:42
Kelsey: Think like you're a teenager, you're already going through so many life changes and hormonal shit growing up and trying to pick a major and decide the rest of your life, and then bam, your whole trajectory just crumbles in front of you.
5:54
Kelsey: The one you're good at, the one thing you love, and you can't do it anymore.
5:58
Kelsey: So that's where my story started as like I call it my first dark night of the soul.
6:04
Kelsey: And I just slipped into a long, long depressive episode.
6:09
Kelsey: So I was depressed for about three years.
6:12
Kelsey: And of that depression, I just remember having this epiphany moment, and I was like, you know what?
6:19
Kelsey: I didn't always used to be depressed.
6:21
Kelsey: I used to be a happy person with energy and hobbies and friends, and I used to love life.
6:26
Kelsey: And what happened to me?
6:28
Kelsey: Like, I need to figure this out.
6:29
Kelsey: So I basically said like El Mary prayer to God, my spirit team.
6:33
Kelsey: I was like, whoever's listening, just send me help.
6:36
Kelsey: Like, I need to feel better.
6:37
Kelsey: I need to love my life.
6:39
Kelsey: I need to figure this out.
6:40
Kelsey: Like, I can't stay depressed.
6:41
Kelsey: Like, if I stay depressed, I'm probably gonna kill myself.
6:43
Kelsey: I don't want to do that because I'm gonna make everyone else depressed.
6:46
Kelsey: So just like help me.
6:47
Kelsey: So I said that prayer, and of course, as prayers do, it got answered with, not just like, okay, you're healed, right?
6:56
Kelsey: Because that's not always how it works.
6:58
Kelsey: I was answered with a great therapist.
7:01
Kelsey: I started working with a shaman, which I basically would call like a spiritual therapist, and I started just encountering all the right books, resources, podcasts, tools, perspectives to kind of help me just climb out of the hole.
7:17
Kelsey: So I started implementing everything I was learning.
7:21
Kelsey: I was just on this healing journey, and eventually I did get better, and I was like, dang, that was so crazy.
7:31
Kelsey: Like, I'm better.
7:33
Kelsey: That actually worked.
7:34
Kelsey: I didn't know if it would work or not.
7:35
Kelsey: And so everything that was working, I wanted to share.
7:39
Kelsey: And I remember specifically this one moment, I was meditating under a tree, just like having a Buddha moment, feeling very like peaceful and enlightened on the other side of the dark night of the soul.
7:50
Kelsey: And something just told me, like, you should write books.
7:54
Kelsey: You are meant to write lots and lots and lots of books to share what works, what doesn't, what's helped you, what hasn't, yada yada, help other people too.
8:01
Kelsey: And I was like, Well, I've never really been that interested in writing, so that's interesting, but sure, why not answer the call?
8:08
Kelsey: Okay, so that led to like starting a blog, and then that eventually led to books being published and retreats and the podcast, and fast forward all these years later, it's really escalated into something bigger than myself.
8:25
Kelsey: That was how it started.
8:26
Kelsey: But there was like another Dark Knight of the Soul moment after that, where I moved across the country by myself, had this basically like psychic awakening because I was crying so much from a breakup, and I was so broken over that.
8:39
Kelsey: But then once I released all that density, like all of my gifts opened up, and then I was able to just know things that most people wouldn't know, see things most people wouldn't see.
8:50
Kelsey: And I was able to use those abilities to help me, for example, write my new book, ask the right questions, get good answers, get good insights.
9:00
Kelsey: And so, yeah, over the years I've just been trying to help people navigate what's been keeping them stuck, basically, because what I learned in depression is like quality of life is everything, it's not just about surviving.
9:15
Kelsey: We gotta have the quality.
9:17
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
9:18
Cassandra: So you call that the dark side of the soul, the dark night of the syllable, or the dark night of the soul, your depression, and and you you kind of got free, and then it happened again.
9:30
Cassandra: You moved across the country, and so based on what you've experienced, you turn your pain into a purpose, it sounds like.
9:42
Cassandra: I applaud you for that.
9:49
Cassandra: Now, when you've been depressed and and in the dark night, you know, it it takes it takes a lot.
9:57
Cassandra: I mean, there's some people that will get to a point, and I just can't deal with this.
10:01
Cassandra: I'm just sick and tired of this.
10:03
Cassandra: And unfortunately, there are a lot of suicides going on the day and time, which is sad.
10:08
Cassandra: However, I think we both could relate to why that would happen to so many people, and it's really not a good place to be in.
10:19
Cassandra: So, what do you think?
10:21
Cassandra: What was it?
10:22
Cassandra: You talked about what was in your way when you were trying to manifest your goals?
10:29
Cassandra: Like you like you started, you talked about, you know, we all have different religious perspectives, so to say, you talked about about Buddha, your shamma and your spiritual guide and all of that.
10:42
Cassandra: But what when people are trying to manifest, what what gets in their way of that?
10:49
Cassandra: Now, well, first of all, let's talk about manifest.
10:52
Cassandra: What does that mean?
10:53
Kelsey: What does that mean?
10:54
Kelsey: Yeah, my definition of manifesting, which now it's become so mainstream, right?
10:59
Kelsey: Like you can watch a TV or open a podcast and be like, oh, I'm manifesting this, I'm manifesting that, you know.
11:04
Kelsey: My definition would be to co-create your life, to live very intentionally.
11:10
Kelsey: So to be an intentional person, and for example, you're living your life like, okay, this is really how I want to live, what I want to create, what I want to do.
11:19
Kelsey: Let me actively, you know, create that and also become a match to it.
11:25
Kelsey: So on an energetic level, it's matching your energy to the life that you want, which means, on a simple example, if you want to manifest more abundance or better health or whatever it is, it's like, how can you embody the energy of abundance now?
11:43
Kelsey: How can you embody the energy of health and vitality now, right?
11:46
Kelsey: So it's bringing it into the present moment.
11:48
Kelsey: That's the part where you're not just wishing and hoping, you're actually manifesting, you're making it manifest.
11:55
Kelsey: And it's it's a two-way street because depending on how you look at it, it's like, yes, you are a creator of your reality, but you're not God, right?
12:03
Kelsey: You're not the creator.
12:04
Kelsey: So it's like co-creating with who.
12:07
Kelsey: I look at it as co-creating with God, your spirit team, the divine, nature, life, however, you want to see it, whatever your beliefs are.
12:15
Kelsey: It's like you're meeting life halfway, and life is meeting you.
12:22
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
12:23
Cassandra: So give us an example of manifestation to uh like you, you based on your experience, you realize you did not want to stay in that place.
12:40
Cassandra: So you wanted to be what you wanted to be happy.
12:44
Cassandra: What are some of the things that you wanted?
12:47
Kelsey: Yeah, when I was stuck in the depression, ultimately what I wanted was relief.
12:51
Kelsey: I was like, I'll just do anything to feel relief.
12:53
Kelsey: I don't even care if I'm happy, like, just not depressed would be good.
12:57
Kelsey: You know, you're just settling for like survival at that point.
13:01
Kelsey: But once I started feeling a little better and I started learning more about energy and manifestation, and some people call it the law of attraction.
13:10
Kelsey: Yeah, I was like, okay, so I can focus in a certain way with my mind, and that will lead me to certain results in my life.
13:17
Kelsey: That makes sense.
13:18
Kelsey: And my inner control freak, which is just part of my personality, was like, yes, I'm gonna control freak everything, I'm gonna manifest my whole life, you know.
13:26
Kelsey: I think that's like a common perspective when people first learn about it.
13:30
Kelsey: But really, I wanted to be free, like you talked about in the beginning of the podcast, and I wanted to be fully expressed.
13:38
Kelsey: And I think now looking back on my life over all these years, having written so many books already, and just being in a really loving, committed relationship and just having such a beautiful full life that I'm so grateful for.
13:51
Kelsey: I'm like, dang, that really worked out.
13:53
Kelsey: That really worked out nice.
13:56
Cassandra: Wow, wow.
13:57
Cassandra: So a lot of my listeners, like this is about as as we all know, is your way in your way?
14:04
Cassandra: Is your way like I believe a lot of my listeners, they're not living a full life, they're not living their best life, and probably they're not quite sure what their best life looks like, what is best life?
14:43
Cassandra: So give us an example of something that they could manifest to get out of their way, to share with them and describe them what methodology would you use for them to manifest what it is in their hearts that they want to do.
15:01
Kelsey: Yeah, so I'm gonna give first the step one, which is let's do a little self-exploration as to what you really want.
15:09
Kelsey: Now, like you said, some people might not be super clear on that.
15:12
Kelsey: They're just like, well, I want to feel better or I want to have more money or I want to be healthier or I want to be in love.
15:17
Kelsey: Like that's a great start.
15:19
Kelsey: So whatever like your goal or your aim or something you've always wanted, like just a desire of your heart, pick one of those and start there.
15:27
Kelsey: So it can be whatever.
15:28
Kelsey: It can be a dream home, it could be a career opportunity, it could be just a state of being.
15:33
Kelsey: It doesn't have to be a physical experience, you know, it could be a mental emotional experience.
15:37
Kelsey: So think of something that sounds really just juicy or nourishing or delicious for your soul to experience.
15:44
Cassandra: So that's let me share what mine is so people kind of okay, okay.
15:49
Cassandra: So I want to transform a generation of women to start living the life that they desire.
16:04
Cassandra: Beautiful.
16:05
Cassandra: Okay, so I just want to manifest that.
16:08
Cassandra: Okay, okay, I love that.
16:09
Kelsey: First thing I want to point out about it is because it has to do with other people, which technically all manifestations kind of do because there's so many people here.
16:17
Kelsey: That is gonna be something that you're already co-creating with all the women that want your help to transform.
16:23
Kelsey: Think about that.
16:24
Kelsey: So, your desire to help these women transform, they have the desire for answers and your perspective and your unique medicine that you bring to the table, you know.
16:33
Kelsey: So that's gonna help you to think about that as you go along.
16:36
Kelsey: So, listeners, think of your thing, whatever it is, whatever the goal.
16:41
Kelsey: And then I want you to ask yourself, because every goal has like a goal that's even deeper than what you think you want, which is why you want the thing.
16:53
Kelsey: So, for example, just to keep it super simple, if you want love or a relationship, why?
17:00
Kelsey: How do you think you're going to feel in said relationship?
17:05
Kelsey: Or for you, you have this goal to impact a whole generation.
17:09
Kelsey: How do you think you will feel in doing so?
17:14
Cassandra: I would feel you want me to answer, you want me to answer?
17:16
Cassandra: Yeah, sure.
17:17
Cassandra: Okay, my why, first of all, is because I was not living my best life.
17:26
Cassandra: So, all of this, I realized I was in my way of living my best life.
17:32
Cassandra: And me for myself, if I'm not, I know I'm not alone.
17:37
Cassandra: And I know how I felt by not doing that.
17:40
Cassandra: So that's why I want to transform us a generation of women to start what I call my signature program, which is the rise journey.
17:51
Cassandra: And there's a six-method program to that for them to start manifesting or rise beyond their limits.
18:00
Cassandra: So that's that's why I want to do it.
18:03
Kelsey: Yes, and then to take it to the emotional level when you have, let's say you help a certain amount of women that was like your goal, or you're doing it, or you have done it.
18:14
Kelsey: How do you feel having done that?
18:18
Cassandra: I feel wonderful, I feel purposeful, I feel like I have meaning.
18:25
Cassandra: I can't wait to get up in the mornings to get started.
18:28
Kelsey: Amazing.
18:29
Kelsey: Love it.
18:30
Kelsey: So she's feeling energized, she's feeling purposeful, she's feeling impactful.
18:34
Kelsey: What else did you say?
18:36
Kelsey: I feel like I missed something.
18:37
Kelsey: That's good.
18:38
Kelsey: I'm feeling it.
18:39
Kelsey: Okay, we'll work with those for the example, just so listening can hear.
18:43
Kelsey: So think of your goal, you guys, and then think what's actually the goal of this goal.
18:49
Kelsey: Because a lot of times we think, oh, I want that sports car or I want that dream house.
18:54
Kelsey: But it's like, why do you want it?
18:57
Kelsey: Because I could probably guess that let's say if a guy in his 50s wants a sports car, maybe he's like trying to pick up chicks because he's divorced, whatever.
19:06
Kelsey: What he actually wants is to get a girl.
19:08
Kelsey: So, like, it's not about the car, right?
19:10
Kelsey: You have to question these things.
19:11
Kelsey: Or if you're like, I really want to be self-employed and own my own business, so I don't have to like answer it to anyone, but then you think about it more and you're like, well, why do I want that?
19:20
Kelsey: So I can have more free time.
19:21
Kelsey: Girl, most business owners do not have more free time in the beginning.
19:25
Kelsey: So it's like, it's good to question these things, right?
19:27
Kelsey: Like, what do we really want?
19:29
Kelsey: Let's make sure that's aligned.
19:31
Kelsey: So, like for me, I obviously want to sell lots of copies of my new book, impact lots of people similar to you, help people get unstuck because I hate that feeling.
19:40
Kelsey: I don't want anyone to have to go through unnecessary suffering, right?
19:43
Kelsey: So that would make me feel really accomplished, impactful, similar adjectives to how you would feel, I think, which is why we we get each other, right?
19:55
Kelsey: So now your goal with the goal, you have like the I call it the surface desire, which is like the thing you want, and then the genuine desire is like why you want it.
20:07
Kelsey: Okay, so now you know both of those pieces.
20:09
Kelsey: Now the why you want it is what you want to start cultivating in everyday life right now in fun and creative ways.
20:17
Kelsey: Because what a lot of people do is they say, Well, I can't feel abundant until the money shows up, or I can't feel impactful until I've helped a million people, or I can't feel sexy and lovable until I lose 30 pounds.
20:30
Kelsey: And it's like, no, your assignment is how can you access those states of being and those feelings now?
20:37
Kelsey: Get out of your own way, stop using those manifestations as conditions and start to almost practice being that way.
20:48
Kelsey: So for you and me, where we're practicing feeling valuable, feeling impactful, feeling like we're making a difference, even if you just have a nice chat with a friend at the cafe and you really help her through a moment.
21:01
Kelsey: Or, you know, if your goal is weight loss, it's like it's not about the weight loss.
21:07
Kelsey: You want to feel confident.
21:09
Kelsey: What do you already feel confident in?
21:11
Kelsey: Are you really amazing at your job?
21:13
Kelsey: Are you a great friend?
21:14
Kelsey: Are you a great partner?
21:16
Kelsey: Right.
21:16
Kelsey: So it's like, where can, if you're trying to manifest money and you want to feel more abundant and resourced, where are you already abundant and resourced?
21:23
Kelsey: I bet plenty of people love you.
21:25
Kelsey: I bet you got a fridge full of snacks that you love.
21:28
Kelsey: I mean, you can get creative, but people don't want to get creative because they want to say, oh, well, I don't have that, so I can't feel that way.
21:35
Kelsey: And it's like, no, the game is the opposite.
21:38
Kelsey: You feel that way first, right, and then the blessings will come.
21:43
Cassandra: Okay.
21:43
Cassandra: Okay.
21:44
Cassandra: Now, how long does I mean you have to be consistent with that until it manifests?
21:50
Kelsey: To a degree, yes, because you want to shift your energy in a meaningful way.
21:57
Kelsey: So, what a lot of people make the mistake of is they're like, oh, if I just practice 10 minutes of gratitude in the morning, then my whole life will shift.
22:04
Kelsey: And it's like, well, if the other 23 hours of the day you're being super ungrateful and complaining about your life, then you're not really practicing enough gratitude to tip the scales in your favor.
22:16
Kelsey: You know what I'm saying?
22:17
Kelsey: Or like, let's say if you you want to manifest more money, you want to feel bunny, you want to feel resourced.
22:25
Kelsey: That's a lot of people's goal.
22:26
Kelsey: But all day long they're like, I can't afford that.
22:29
Kelsey: I'll never be able to have that thing.
22:31
Kelsey: Money sucks, money doesn't grow on trees, rich people are evil, blah, blah, blah.
22:35
Kelsey: It's like, okay, well, every time you think a thought like that, you're subconsciously repelling money, or you're like blinding yourself from opportunity.
22:44
Kelsey: That problem is already there.
22:46
Kelsey: So it's like it's a dance of how much of the day can you spend in the energy that you're trying to create, and what's stopping you from doing that?
22:57
Kelsey: Because usually it's just like one story or one narrative or one limiting belief or one aspect of yourself that's like, no, we don't want that, or more money isn't safe, or love isn't safe.
23:09
Kelsey: Remember what happened last time, or you know, losing weight isn't safe because I don't want people to look at me and see me or whatever.
23:15
Kelsey: So it's like we think we want these things, but secretly, subconsciously, we have these blocks that are just putting the brakes on right, and we don't even realize right.
23:29
Cassandra: Just like the title, we talk about how the subconscious uh resistance can block your breakthrough, period.
23:38
Cassandra: Now, while you're doing this process, what how important do you think it is for you to surround yourself with like-minded people?
23:48
Cassandra: Or maybe you can't because you're in a family that people are all over the place.
23:56
Cassandra: How do you how would one get centered and maintain this centeredness?
24:03
Kelsey: I think environment is a really important factor that you bring into play, especially the people that surround you, because naturally we're sponges, right?
24:12
Kelsey: And they say, Oh, you become like the people that you spend the most time with.
24:16
Kelsey: And there is truth to that.
24:17
Kelsey: They've done many studies on it, actually, write about it in the manifesting fix.
24:21
Kelsey: If you can access people who are positive and optimistic and open and supportive of your dreams and goals, definitely spend as much time as you can with them.
24:30
Kelsey: If you can't access people like that, I bet you could access them on the internet or with podcasts like this, right?
24:37
Kelsey: You might not know them directly, but you have Cassandra in your earbud right now.
24:40
Kelsey: You have me in your earbud right now.
24:42
Kelsey: So it's like you got to get creative to access these people if they're not in your immediate circle.
24:46
Kelsey: And if the people in your circle are negative or downers or doubters, like just know that you don't have to be kept to their mental limitations.
24:56
Kelsey: But if you listen to them too much, then it might affect you.
25:00
Kelsey: So yeah, that's definitely a factor at play.
25:03
Kelsey: But make your environment the most supportive you can.
25:06
Kelsey: Like join a gym, join the YMCA, like join a local church where everyone's like really happy to help you with whatever you need help with.
25:14
Kelsey: You know, like find a good community and manifesting your best life will definitely become much easier.
25:21
Cassandra: Okay.
25:22
Cassandra: Now you I read something that you indicated about the law of attraction.
25:26
Cassandra: I think many of my listeners have heard of that.
25:29
Cassandra: Yeah.
25:30
Cassandra: What do you unpack that a little bit?
25:32
Cassandra: I don't like you said, the vision boards don't really work, or the law of attraction.
25:38
Cassandra: Unpack that for me.
25:40
Cassandra: What what what why?
25:41
Cassandra: Why do you think that is?
25:43
Kelsey: Yeah, so the law of attraction, I think it became really popular with that movie, The Secret.
25:48
Kelsey: Did you watch that documentary when it came out?
25:50
Kelsey: Sure, did I think yeah, that was a great one.
25:52
Kelsey: We were like, oh my gosh, this is so cool.
25:55
Kelsey: Um, and it's it's not that it's wrong or untrue.
25:58
Kelsey: I really do believe that we attract, you know, what we're putting out there, so to speak.
26:05
Kelsey: So that's why it's really important to have a clear mind, to have a clear energy, to have a clear body, to be a vessel for light, right?
26:13
Kelsey: So you can be magnetic and attract good things.
26:15
Kelsey: And this is just on a quantum physics level, like you will be a match to certain experiences based on your current energy.
26:24
Kelsey: So that I definitely think there's so much truth to that.
26:28
Kelsey: But where it kind of got misconstrued, I feel like, is that documentaries like that and books like that made it so oversimplified.
26:37
Kelsey: And they were like, if you just put your dream house on your vision board, it will definitely happen.
26:43
Kelsey: If you just write an affirmation that you're a millionaire a hundred thousand times, you will definitely become a millionaire, right?
26:50
Kelsey: You're like, oh my God, this is so cool.
26:52
Kelsey: Let me try it out.
26:53
Kelsey: And then you try it, you're meditating, you're doing your affirmations, you're doing your vision board, and then you're like, hmm, well, I'm still not a millionaire.
27:01
Kelsey: I'm still not in my dream house, I'm still single, I'm still unhealthy, you know, whatever it is.
27:06
Kelsey: So then we go, hmm, what's wrong with me, right?
27:10
Kelsey: Like I thought if I put it out there, it's just gonna come.
27:13
Kelsey: And the missing piece of that, which is why I had to write the manifesting fix, is that there is a substep that's not as sexy.
27:21
Kelsey: So nobody talks about it, right?
27:23
Kelsey: And it's the step of aligning.
27:25
Kelsey: So they teach the manifestation technique, like you just ask and you receive, right?
27:30
Kelsey: Easy peasy ask and it'll come.
27:32
Kelsey: But in between the asking and the receiving, there is a pivotal step that most of us miss and are never taught to do, which is to actually align with what you say you want.
27:42
Kelsey: Now, what I've found is that when things are taking really long to manifest, or it just doesn't seem like you're making any progress, you're feeling really stuck, you're not fully aligned with your goal because you have subconscious resistance that you don't realize, right?
27:58
Kelsey: So there's parts of you that just don't feel safe to go for what you want.
28:02
Kelsey: You're self-sabotaging, you don't know why, you're procrastinating, you don't know why, you're pushing away good opportunities and you're kicking yourself and you're like, why do I always do this?
28:11
Kelsey: Like, that would have been good for me, you know?
28:13
Kelsey: So it's like the asking and the receiving in between is the alignment piece.
28:19
Kelsey: In order to get into alignment, we need to get curious.
28:22
Kelsey: Do I have any resistance?
28:24
Kelsey: That's the name of the game, which we can talk about more here.
28:28
Kelsey: Cause then once you open yourself to curiosity of like, hmm, maybe not all of me is on board with what I think I want.
28:36
Kelsey: Then you go on this little self-discovery journey, have a little chat with yourself, bring some stuff that's in the back of your mind to the front of your mind, and you realize, oh, I don't want to believe that anymore.
28:47
Kelsey: I don't want to operate like that anymore.
28:49
Kelsey: I would rather believe that it is possible for me, that I can go for what I want, that I do deserve everything that's in my heart, you know?
28:58
Kelsey: So that's really the missing piece.
29:00
Kelsey: It's not just put it on a vision board and it'll happen.
29:03
Kelsey: It's yes, put it on your vision board, definitely write it down, definitely pray about it, definitely do affirmations, but follow up with the true inner alignment work, which is how do I become one with my goal and not just demand God to give it to me just because I wanted it.
29:22
Cassandra: Okay.
29:22
Cassandra: So is that what your latest work is, the manifesting fix?
29:26
Cassandra: So give us an example of how we can be aligned with our goal.
29:31
Cassandra: Like, yes, you know, because some people say, Okay, I want this type of car, and then they ride around and say, Oh, I I just thought about that.
29:39
Cassandra: There's a car, there's the same car, you know, it just appears in front of you.
29:44
Cassandra: So tell us how they can do that alignment work with their goal.
29:49
Kelsey: Yes.
29:49
Kelsey: So to answer your first question, yes, the manifesting fix is all about discovering if you have any resistance and then helping you work through that so you can become aligned.
30:00
Kelsey: Because basically, in the absence of resistance, you're like you're naturally aligned.
30:05
Kelsey: So it's like a spectrum.
30:06
Kelsey: Resistance over here, alignment over here.
30:08
Kelsey: The less resistance we have, the more alignment we have.
30:11
Kelsey: The more resistance we have, the less alignment we have, right?
30:14
Kelsey: So, a really simple example.
30:16
Kelsey: I know so many people are trying to manifest love, right?
30:19
Kelsey: But of course, in the past, we've had situationships, we've had traumatic situations, we've had things not go our way, people abandon us, people abuse us.
30:29
Kelsey: And so, in the back of our mind, we create like this log of all the times it didn't work out, right?
30:36
Kelsey: Right.
30:36
Kelsey: And then we make that mean oh, love isn't meant for me.
30:40
Kelsey: I always pick bad partners, I'm not good enough, nobody loves me, you know.
30:46
Kelsey: And then when you go to manifest love, you're like writing all the qualities of your dream partner, imagining what it would be like, but secretly you're like, that ain't gonna work.
30:56
Kelsey: That never works, that doesn't work for us.
30:59
Kelsey: Remember, remember what happened last time?
31:01
Kelsey: If you try again, you're gonna get hurt again.
31:03
Kelsey: So that's your invitation to be like, okay, let me talk to the part of me that is still scared.
31:11
Kelsey: And then it becomes in this scenario, there's different types of resistance.
31:15
Kelsey: But if this is the type of resistance you're going through with your goal, it's like you need to have a heart to heart with the part of you that's scared because not all of you is scared.
31:22
Kelsey: Part of you is like, yes, let's do it.
31:24
Kelsey: Relationship, I'm ready.
31:26
Kelsey: I want to meet my soulmate.
31:27
Kelsey: But then another part of you is like, mm-mm, pump the brakes, girly.
31:31
Kelsey: That ain't good.
31:31
Kelsey: That's not right, that doesn't work out for us.
31:33
Kelsey: So it's like we need to talk to her with love and compassion and be like, hey, I know that it hasn't worked out in the past.
31:42
Kelsey: That was for a reason.
31:44
Kelsey: That's because there is someone better who is more meant for me, right?
31:50
Kelsey: So now you're reinstilling the optimism, bringing yourself back to the truth, having a little power with this part, and most importantly, making that part of you feel safe to proceed with the goal.
32:02
Cassandra: Wow.
32:03
Cassandra: Okay, is that what people call positive thinking?
32:07
Kelsey: Kind of, but it's like not blind positivity where you're just like love always works out for me.
32:13
Kelsey: I'm a love magnet.
32:14
Kelsey: It's more like finding the hesitation, addressing it, and then transforming it with something more open and optimistic.
32:26
Kelsey: So it's like rewiring a belief.
32:29
Cassandra: Okay, okay, and that's where that curiosity comes from.
32:32
Cassandra: Be curious about why you are thinking like you are, and a lot has to do with past, our past.
32:41
Cassandra: So if we can kind of get that and see ourselves into the goal that we want, that would be helpful, it sounds like.
32:49
Kelsey: Yeah, the curiosity is a huge piece because that'll naturally lead you to more understanding, which will lead you to more self-compassion.
32:57
Kelsey: Because it's hard to do this work if you're just like, my resistance is blocking my goals, it's the enemy.
33:03
Kelsey: I just need to delete my resistance.
33:05
Kelsey: And it's like, girl, your resistance is there for a reason.
33:08
Kelsey: It's been trying to protect you, it thinks it's helping you.
33:11
Kelsey: Okay, it's not the enemy, it's just something for you to work through to get to the other side where you can be more aligned with your goals.
33:20
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
33:21
Cassandra: Now you have a free.
33:24
Cassandra: When you hear the word free, that digital copy of your book, is that the uh the manifestating manifest manifesting fix book?
33:37
Kelsey: Yeah, if anybody wants to be an advanced reader and leave a review, it's a free copy in exchange for a review.
33:44
Kelsey: Oh, nice.
33:45
Kelsey: How would they get that?
33:47
Kelsey: We can link it in the show notes.
33:49
Kelsey: Or if anyone goes to NetGalley, is the website where you can find it, and then you search the manifesting fix, you can request to read it, and then just with the free email access, you can get it, and then you just leave me a little review and Goodreads or Barnes and Noble or wherever, and that really helps the book, and then you get to read it for free.
34:06
Kelsey: Okay, so spell the what what did you say?
34:09
Cassandra: The net gallery or spell.
34:11
Kelsey: It's called NetGalley, but I'll send you the link so you can put it in the show notes too.
34:15
Kelsey: It's just N-E-T space.
34:18
Kelsey: Well, there's no space because it's a website, so it's just netgally.com.com.
34:27
Cassandra: Okay, excellent, excellent.
34:29
Cassandra: Um, so one more thing before we close.
34:33
Cassandra: What is your personal favorite manifestation method that my listeners could use?
34:45
Kelsey: Okay, I have two personal favorites that I use.
34:49
Kelsey: I am obsessed with writing things down, which people are gonna be like, duh, your author.
34:54
Kelsey: Of course, you like writing.
34:55
Kelsey: Yes, I like writing.
34:56
Kelsey: So whenever I have a new goal or something I want to manifest, the first thing I do is pen to paper, not just in my phone, write it down by hand.
35:05
Kelsey: And I like to script it out as if it's about to happen, like it's inevitable, or it's already happening.
35:11
Kelsey: So, for example, with the manifesting fix, I would be like, I'm so happy that the manifesting fix is on a bestseller list this week.
35:20
Kelsey: I can't believe we were able to sell X amount of copies.
35:23
Kelsey: It feels so good to help this many people.
35:26
Kelsey: I love all the amazing feedback I've been getting.
35:28
Kelsey: So it's almost like you future pace and then you're writing it out by hand because that kind of slows it down so you can really connect with the energy of like success with your goal.
35:39
Kelsey: So that's one thing I love to do.
35:41
Kelsey: Okay, you like to write it down, yes, yes, which in the manifesting community they call this scripting.
35:47
Kelsey: So you're writing it as if it's already happening or it's about to happen.
35:52
Cassandra: Okay, all right, already happening.
35:54
Kelsey: Okay, and you write it in the first person, so it's almost like a journal entry, but like from your future self who already has the thing.
36:03
Cassandra: Okay, and what about the second?
36:06
Kelsey: The second one is to visualize what I want via meditation.
36:12
Kelsey: So I like to get all ritualistic, maybe light a candle, maybe dim the lights, lay down on the couch, put on some like healing vibrations or something.
36:22
Kelsey: And then I'm gonna be like, okay, for 10 to 15 minutes, I'm just going to imagine that this is like already my reality.
36:30
Kelsey: So this is great for visual people who can visualize things.
36:33
Kelsey: You're gonna connect with your goal.
36:35
Kelsey: So let's say your goal is to give a TED talk.
36:39
Kelsey: You're gonna imagine that you're on stage.
36:41
Kelsey: What does it smell like?
36:43
Kelsey: What does it look like?
36:44
Kelsey: Who's in the audience?
36:45
Kelsey: Like you're feeling prepared, you've practiced for six months, you know, and you're up there doing your thing.
36:50
Kelsey: So it's like playing a little mind movie.
36:53
Kelsey: That's a good one.
36:56
Cassandra: Okay, so the scripting and the visualization.
37:03
Kelsey: Oh those are my two favorites.
37:05
Kelsey: Okay, okay, and affirmations, but you have to do them right.
37:09
Kelsey: A lot of people get too corny with them, and then they don't work.
37:12
Cassandra: Okay.
37:13
Cassandra: Do you do these the scripting and the visualization daily or like a few times a week?
37:19
Kelsey: Or you can do it daily, but I prefer the approach of like doing it as often as it lights you up.
37:28
Kelsey: Once it starts to feel like a chore, then it's not really helping you that much.
37:33
Kelsey: So in that case, it's like write out your scripting and then like let it go.
37:39
Kelsey: Like let go of the how and the when, and just know, like, okay, I put it out there.
37:43
Kelsey: It's like in motion, you gotta trust your life at that point.
37:47
Kelsey: Um, so it depends kind of on your personality.
37:50
Kelsey: Some people they love to do it over and over and over, they get really excited by that.
37:54
Kelsey: Other people they start to feel like heaviness from it, like, oh my gosh, why isn't it happening yet?
37:59
Kelsey: I've been doing it for five days already, you know.
38:01
Cassandra: Right, okay, okay.
38:03
Cassandra: So tell my listeners what is the one manifestation you are working on now?
38:12
Cassandra: What is it that you want now?
38:16
Kelsey: Yeah, right now, personally, I am manifesting slash curious to meet the version of myself that is just purely in her power and doesn't need to prove anything to anyone or herself because I've always had a wound of like being very ambitious and hyper overachiever because I want to prove that I can do it, right?
38:45
Kelsey: And it comes back to the ballet days when I couldn't become a ballerina.
38:48
Kelsey: So it's like now I have to prove to myself that I can be this best-selling author, I have to prove that I can be in a healthy marriage, or I have to everything's like proof, proof, proof.
38:57
Kelsey: So, what I want to experience next is just me without that proving energy.
39:03
Kelsey: Then who would I be if I was just solely self-expressive without the motive of needing to prove?
39:09
Cassandra: Okay, I like that.
39:11
Cassandra: I like that, I like that.
39:13
Cassandra: So, my listeners, you heard Kelsey.
39:17
Cassandra: And I would like for you, I'm gonna do a call to action for Kelsey, is think about apparently what is it that you'd like to manifest.
39:28
Cassandra: And I would also suggest that you listen to this podcast again.
39:34
Cassandra: I also suggest that you get that book, that digital book, the manifestation fix.
39:43
Cassandra: There it is.
39:44
Cassandra: Get that book and and let's see where you go from there.
39:50
Cassandra: Kelsey, thank you so much.
39:53
Cassandra: How how else can my listeners get in touch with you?
39:56
Cassandra: They want to work with you.
39:58
Kelsey: Yeah, they can find all my offerings and everything I'm about at kelseyaida.com.
40:04
Kelsey: So if you're watching this video, you can see how my name is spelled.
40:06
Kelsey: It's just k-e-l-s-e-y-a-i-d-a.com.
40:10
Kelsey: That's also where you can order a physical copy of the manifesting fix, which is basically going to have a lot more details and exercises of some of the stuff we talked about today.
40:21
Kelsey: So, depending if you're experiencing some worthiness wounds, or just trauma from the past, or just feeling like you can't do it, or you shouldn't ask for that, or whatever, is gonna help you through your resistance so you can actually align with your goals.
40:35
Kelsey: Where else can you find me?
40:36
Kelsey: High Vibe in it is an amazing free resource since you guys obviously love podcasts.
40:41
Kelsey: I will link to that in the show notes, I'm sure, for you guys.
40:44
Kelsey: And I'm Kelsey Aida everywhere on social media.
40:49
Cassandra: Okay, well, thank you very much.
40:51
Cassandra: And uh listeners, please like, subscribe, and share with your friends again, Kelsey.
41:01
Cassandra: Thank you so much.
41:02
Cassandra: And to all my listeners, as I always say, bye for now.
41:06
Cassandra: God bless and think about is your way in your way.
41:10
Cassandra: Thanks again, Kelsey.