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Let's Talk About Fear! Because It Shows Up at Any Level... · The Nadia Chapman Show

• 0:01
  Hey there, welcome back to the Nadia Chapman Show, the figure skaters edition.
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  And today, oh, we're diving into such a great topic that every skater has experienced
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  no matter who you are, how old you are, and how long you've been skating.
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  And that is, ladies and gentlemen, fear.
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  Yes, I don't just mean fear of falling.
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  That's an obvious one. I'm talking about the quiet fears that live inside skaters of every age.
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  So we're going to be talking about kids.
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  Teenagers, adults, and we're going to be talking about the fears that all of
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  these group of people experience, the one that kind of shape how we skate,
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  how we show up, how we think, and how we do things.
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  When you spend as many hours at the rink as skaters do, you start to forget
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  just how many emotional layers are wrapped into one practice session.
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  And this is also why I do what I'm doing with this whole mindset coaching for figure skaters.
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  What's interesting is that skaters of all ages, I'm telling you,
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  doesn't matter, they all have fears, but they show up differently.
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  So as a life and mindset coach, working with skaters mostly,
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  I've created a list, well, multiple lists.
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  I've created a list of most common fears that younger skaters.
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  Like kids experience, against teen skaters or adult skaters.
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  And I also made a list of universal fear across all ages.
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  So I'm going to go through them right now. The younger skaters,
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  so the kids, most common fear.
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  Fear of falling in front of everyone.
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  Fear of disappointing a coach. Fear of getting in trouble.
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  Fear of trying a harder jump, going up a level.
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  Fear of being watched, fear of being the last or not good enough as the other
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  one, fear of letting their parents down, fear of being embarrassed if something goes wrong.
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  For teenagers, the most common fears for figure skaters.
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  Fear of being judged, fear of looking bad or looking behind,
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  fear of failing, Fear of not being good enough to reach their goals Fear of
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  mental block coming back Fear of losing skills that they used to have,
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  used to do Fear of messing up during tryouts,
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  during a test session, competition,
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  recital Fear of other skaters improving faster,
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  That's a big one. Fear of letting people down, coaches, parents,
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  teammates, and fear of being compared to others.
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  Now, let's move on to adult skaters. Adult skaters out there listening,
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  your most common fears are fear of injury within reason, fear of looking silly
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  or out of place. That's a big one.
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  Fear of starting too late into the skating world. Fear of being slower than others.
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  Even adults compare themselves. It's incredible.
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  Fear of judgment. There we have it from teens or parents, coaches.
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  Fear of taking up space. Fear of failing.
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  Again. Fear of not progressing fast enough. Fear of pushing outside their comfort zone.
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  That can be scary. And a Fear of not being athletic enough.
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  Now, when it comes to universal fears across all ages, the most common fears
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  for figure skaters are fear of failing publicly, fear of not being enough, fear of success.
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  Yes, because you can be afraid of the pressure that can follow from being successful.
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  Fear of making mistakes, fear of trying and not getting the results that you want.
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  Fear of discomfort, that is universal, and the fear of letting yourself down.
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  Now, let's go back and analyze these lists a little bit.
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  Little kids often fear getting in trouble or falling in front of someone or
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  disappointing someone that they look up to.
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  In their little heart, mistakes feel like it's a failure.
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  Now, teen, on another hand, face a completely different world of fears.
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  It's a little bit deeper. Fear of judgment, fear that they're not being enough,
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  fear that they're not progressing as fast as other skaters.
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  The fear of failing publicly is huge, especially when people are watching.
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  And honestly, the biggest fear sometimes isn't the fall. It's the embarrassment.
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  And then we have adult skaters who you would think that, well,
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  they're older and they're in it for fun.
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  But no, they take their skating very seriously, as we know.
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  And they also go through a whole lot of different fears.
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  The fear of injury is huge when you're an adult.
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  I mean, you know, you break your leg or you break something.
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  You don't have a parent that, you know, do the errands for you.
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  You're a parent yourself and you have a job and you don't want to hurt yourself.
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  There's also the fear of looking silly. The amount of adult that I hear,
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  oh my God, I'm afraid of looking stupid.
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  Adults also have the fear of being the slow one in a group class. That happens a lot.
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  Or the fear of being judged by younger skaters because, you know,
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  they're kind of older and it takes them a longer time to figure some skills and that's okay.
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  Adults also experience a fear of not progressing fast enough because adults
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  compare themselves to timelines that aren't very realistic sometimes.
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  So underneath all these layers, the message is the same.
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  Fear disconnects you from your own skating. So what it does is that fear pulls
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  you into the future, imagining what could go wrong.
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  And fear pulls you into the past, remembering mistakes that you've made.
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  But fear pulls you out of your body and it puts you in your head.
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  And skating from your head is never something that feels good. Every skater has fears.
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  And the difference is that confident skaters don't eliminate the fear.
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  They just learn to skate with it. And I know I've said that before,
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  and this is something that I do so much in my sessions to teach that fear isn't
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  your enemy, just like anxiety and stress is not your enemy.
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  The problem is that when fear becomes the driver of your decisions, that's the problem.
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  When fear makes you hold back.
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  That's a problem. When fear makes you tense up or when fear convinces you that
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  you're behind or when fear tells you a story about your worth or your progress
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  that's simply not true, that's the problem.
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  Your fear is just a sign that you care. It means that you're stretching, that you're growing.
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  And God knows, if you know about skating, that we are tested.
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  My goodness, we are tested and you're kind of forced to grow out of your comfort zone pretty quick.
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  So it just means that you're doing something that matters to you.
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  And if you're doing something that's easy, you won't feel that fear at all. Think about that.
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  The goal is to notice the fear without letting it taking over the practice.
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  And here's the thing, I can go through a whole list of different fears that skaters experience,
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  but I wouldn't be the coach I am if I did not give you some tools to put into
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  your little toolbox that can help you next time that you feel triggered by something, okay?
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  Because here's the truth that most skaters don't realize. The fear you're feeling
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  isn't actually about the jump or about the performance or the people watching.
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  Fear comes from the story your brain is telling you. And once you learn to interrupt
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  that story, the whole experience change.
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  Your brain loves repeating old patterns. We know that. What if I fall?
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  What if I embarrass myself? What if I mess up again?
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  Not because it's true, but because
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  it's familiar. So the first step is to catch the loop and break it.
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  Literally say to yourself, that's the old story.
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  That's it. It sounds simple and stupid, but interrupting the thought weakens its power.
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  The second tip, ask a better question. Instead of saying, what if it goes wrong?
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  Try, what else could this mean?
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  Maybe the nerves mean that you care. Pressure might mean that you're ready to level up.
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  And a mistake that you made last week might mean that you learned exactly what you needed.
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  And this is how confidence grow. Not by eliminating the fear,
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  but by changing how you interpret it.
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  Do you see what I mean? My third tip is bring your body back into leadership.
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  So important for an athlete.
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  Fear lives in the mind and confidence return to you when you do something physical.
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  One exhale, one strong push. Tiny control actions send the message to your brain
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  that you are safe and you're capable.
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  Next tip, shift your identity. This is huge in mindset and life coaching.
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  Instead of saying, I'm scared of this jump, or I'm scared that this might happen,
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  try, I'm becoming the skater who can handle this.
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  Identity is so powerful. Your performance will follow the story you believe about yourself.
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  And here's the big aha moment. Fear is usually a sign that you are expending,
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  not that you're failing. You don't fear things that keep you small, right?
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  You fear things that stretch you. It's kind of beautiful if you think about it.
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  So create a simple anchor phrase that you can use anytime that fear spikes.
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  Like tell yourself, cue words, reset and trust. Or strong body, calm mind.
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  Or I lead, fear follows.
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  And use that every single time that the loop tries to pull you back,
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  okay? Because the goal isn't to get rid of the fear. You can't do that.
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  It's to stop letting the fear drive your story.
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  You deserve to escape from leadership, not panic.
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  And that little shift happened the moment that you decide to change the meaning
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  of it, change the pattern and step back into who you are becoming.
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  So look at the rink, look at the eyes and think, okay, I'm shit scared it right
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  now, but here I am, and I'm still going to go for it. I'm still going to try.
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  When you start seeing your theory as part of the process, because it's going to show up,
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  Instead of a problem, skating becomes much lighter.
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  So stop judging yourself for feeling scared. Stop thinking that you're the only
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  one out there that feels this way, because trust me, as a coach on ice and a
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  coach off ice, I know that you're not alone.
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  And start realizing that fear
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  doesn't mean to stop. It just means to breathe, soften, but keep going.
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  So no matter how old you are, no matter what level you're skating at,
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  Fear will visit you, but fear doesn't get to decide who you're becoming on the ice.
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  You do. I really hope that this episode gives you a little bit of comfort,
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  especially if you're an adult skater listening.
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  And the next time that you show up at practice, just know that you're not alone,
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  that you're not broken. You're just a human.
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  And every skater out there, even the big names, the people that you admire,
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  they feel the same feeling. and what matters the most is the way you choose to respond.
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  Thank you so much for your time. Thank you for listening. I am so proud of you
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  for putting yourself out there and pursuing your dream of skating.
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  It's such a beautiful sport, truly.
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  And I hope that you will carry something about this conversation into your next
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  practice, maybe today or tomorrow.
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  I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for listening.
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  We'll see you next time.