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Manipulation in Love: When Control Replaces Care · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

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  Speaker 1: Experts agree that we all manipulate at times. Sometimes we
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  Speaker 1: do it for the good of the people or situation,
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  Speaker 1: and sometimes we do it for egoic reasons. Nevertheless, manipulation
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  Speaker 1: isn't malignant until it is used with the intention of
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  Speaker 1: controlling or bringing another person down. But why would someone
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  Speaker 1: want to do this? In this video, we will discuss
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  Speaker 1: five main reasons why people manipulate others. and a few
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  Speaker 1: examples of exactly how they may do it. Power. Manipulative
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  Speaker 1: people often use coercive control in order to gain power
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  Speaker 1: over their partner in a relationship. But what exactly is
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  Speaker 1: coercive control? An article in Medical News Today explains that
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  Speaker 1: coercive control refers to a pattern of controlling behaviors that
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  Speaker 1: create an unequal power dynamic in a relationship. A perpetrator
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  Speaker 1: uses coercive control to gain control and power by eroding
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  Speaker 1: a person's autonomy and self-esteem. This can include acts of intimidation, threats,
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  Speaker 1: and humiliation, says an article in Medical News Today. A
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  Speaker 1: manipulator may do this by monitoring their partner's activities. An
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  Speaker 1: example of this could be putting cameras in the home
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  Speaker 1: and not letting the partner have free access to their finances.
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  Speaker 1: It can also look like isolating the other person from
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  Speaker 1: friends and family, insulting them, breaking their confidence, making threats
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  Speaker 1: and intimidation. The manipulator may also use sexual coercion. They
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  Speaker 1: may even involve pets and children, which they either threaten
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  Speaker 1: or turn against their partner. Coercive control is an emotional
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  Speaker 1: and mental type of abusive behavior. It is considered a
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  Speaker 1: form of domestic abuse or intimate partner violence. If you
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  Speaker 1: or anyone you know is living under similar circumstances depicted here,
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  Speaker 1: please get help as soon as possible from a professional. Evasion.
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  Speaker 1: When it comes to avoiding blame or consequences, the manipulator
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  Speaker 1: is trying to avoid changing the behavior that has benefited
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  Speaker 1: them in the past and kept them in control, explains
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  Speaker 1: Maggie Holland, a licensed counselor in an article for Psych Central.
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  Speaker 1: According to Harley Therapy Counseling blog, other reasons manipulators try
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  Speaker 1: to avoid blame or consequences are, they don't have to
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  Speaker 1: take on the responsibility and work that taking the blame entails,
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  Speaker 1: They don't have to be vulnerable or seen as weak.
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  Speaker 1: They can retain control and opt out of listening or
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  Speaker 1: doing things that are out of their control, like the
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  Speaker 1: other person's side of the story. They unload their self-restricted
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  Speaker 1: feelings when they blame. It protects their ego by putting
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  Speaker 1: them in a superior seat and being deemed the good guy.
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  Speaker 1: Low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can make a person do any
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  Speaker 1: number of things from trying to always please others to
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  Speaker 1: trying to put themselves above others. The bad perception some
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  Speaker 1: people have of themselves makes them feel jealous of others,
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  Speaker 1: which can push them into wanting to take control of
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  Speaker 1: the situation by putting others down. American Psychological Association fellow
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  Speaker 1: Michael Solomon, PhD, told the Huffington Post, people who have
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  Speaker 1: a poor self-image and suffer from insecurity get a false
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  Speaker 1: sense of power and control in their lives by taking
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  Speaker 1: advantage of their friends and family. Their sense of control
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  Speaker 1: is restored when they begin manipulating other people with success,
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  Speaker 1: but That success is short-lived, as eventually the other people
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  Speaker 1: become tired and leave, according to Nadia Bakhti, a journalist
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  Speaker 1: and editor who identifies herself as a master manipulator in
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  Speaker 1: an article on, she said, personality disorder. People with narcissistic
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  Speaker 1: personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder commonly known as sociopathy
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  Speaker 1: and psychopathy, have manipulation ingrained in them. Many with the
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  Speaker 1: disorder may know they are manipulating others and do it
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  Speaker 1: anyways because they lack empathy, and others don't know that
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  Speaker 1: they're doing it. Nadia Bakhti, who is also a media commentator,
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  Speaker 1: explains in her article titled, Six Signs Your Partner is
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  Speaker 1: a Manipulative Person that, Manipulation is so entrenched in my personality,
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  Speaker 1: I'm often unaware I'm even doing it until the dust
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  Speaker 1: has settled. It's unsurprisingly been the undoing of most of
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  Speaker 1: my relationships. While some try to correct this manipulation, others don't.
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  Speaker 1: For that reason, if you ever find yourself in a
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  Speaker 1: relationship with a narcissist or a person suffering from an
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  Speaker 1: antisocial personality disorder, experts recommend that you distance yourself from
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  Speaker 1: them because many times it's not something they can control
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  Speaker 1: or want to control. Fear. Another thing that author Bhakti
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  Speaker 1: discusses is her fear of abandonment. Fear is often one
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  Speaker 1: of the main reasons people manipulate, as manipulation is a
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  Speaker 1: way to either placate that fear or keep what they
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  Speaker 1: fear at bay. They do this because they see what
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  Speaker 1: they fear as a threat to their personal well-being and
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  Speaker 1: as a threat to their sense of control. Good therapy
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  Speaker 1: states that people may engage in manipulation out of fear,
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  Speaker 1: especially fear of abandonment. This often happens during breakups or
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  Speaker 1: relationship fights. Relationships are the biggest trigger for these fears
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  Speaker 1: as total control of another person is not truly achievable
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  Speaker 1: and people's actions can be unexpected. If you ever find
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  Speaker 1: yourself in a relationship that shows these manipulative signs or others,
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  Speaker 1: but you're not sure, seek out help and look to
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  Speaker 1: your family and friends for support. Oftentimes, mental and emotional
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  Speaker 1: abuse can lead to other types of abuse like financial
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  Speaker 1: abuse and physical abuse. We at Psych2Go want you healthy
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  Speaker 1: and safe, so we recommend getting help from a mental
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  Speaker 1: health professional. Was this video helpful? Let us know in
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  Speaker 1: the comments below. Subscribe and like this video for more
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  Speaker 1: psychology content. Thank you for being with us.