Latest / Pod Therapy / #391: Wife's Chore Requests, Forming Healthy Habits, Overcoming Specific Phobias

Transcript

#391: Wife's Chore Requests, Forming Healthy Habits, Overcoming Specific Phobias · Pod Therapy

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: This got the fuck up your relationships real fast. We've
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: done it three times.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you to go fuck yourself. Fuck that
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: relationship right.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Up from fabulous Las Vegasmata. This is pot Therapy people,
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: real problems and real therapist. You can submit your functions
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: anonymously at pod therapy nets or email us at pod
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: therapy guys at gmail dot com. You get a little
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: bonus today because not only do you get to hear
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: this episode, but you get to hear the echo in
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: the room. Yeah, it's like hearing it twice. And now
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: broadcasting from sadly the last episode show. I'm nick time
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: for some pot therapy.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: It is sala v to show creator Studio.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: We have the honor for those of you just joining us.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: We have the honor of being the last artistic thing
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: to ever.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: We're doing the show in here tonight. We're recording. It's
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: eight forty five in the evening right now tomorrow morning. Uh,
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: myself and a few other people.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: A Whitney.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: I think it's gonna come by and help out. We're
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: gonna load out the last bit.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Of the chart.
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm the only one to come help.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Jesus is gonna Nick is gonna come back.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: I will definitely swing by if I can.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I've got I'm kidding, Nichol come by for lunch.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I know you're kidding. I know you're kidding, but the
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: Midwestern y.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, really he's going to bring a castle. Yeah, eight
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: o'clock at night.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: He's like, oh, hey, I just was passing, kind of
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: thinking about showing up at seven and just seeing what
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: I can get done before everybody else gets here.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: Boxed up, like, yeah, Jacob's cords.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Are pulled right, just nails pulled out, everything else. I
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: can make some sandwiches here you go.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Guys, just some icy waters. Yeah, So this is it.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Show creator Studio has been good to us man eight
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: years in this place just about I mean, we started
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: the show in January of eighteen. We were at Level nine.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Then we briefly went for this January will be our
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: eighth year doing pod therapy. Oh but not all here,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: well almost though, because that's what I was saying is like,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: we started at level nine, we were there until the
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: summer of twenty eighteen. We went from January to the summer,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: we got fired, and then we left Level nine because
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: we were broke.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: From our job.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, the line got broken into yeah, and there
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: was a slight disruption nine yeah. Yeah, yeah, they were fine. Yeah,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: we got along with Scott but yeah, and then and
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: then we went to your house for a while, and
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: we went to my house for a while, and then
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: we started getting tighter with Jacob and I se s
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: and they invited us to come to scoop Fest and
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: we're like, we did scoop Fest.
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: And then right after scoop Fest we were like, hey, man,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: can we you know, patch you in on this and
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, sure whatever.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: I do remember recording at my house because we made
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: soundproof tense Oh that's right, yeah, because we wanted to well,
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: but like I remember, like we have a picture in
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: one of our rooms where like we've got like a
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: broomstick that's holding up a blanket because we tried to
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: put a blanket.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Over we is not me in you, we as you
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: and Laura. No, no, I was not part of this. I
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: have a picture of you under a blanket. Are I
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: don't remember this?
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: A yes?
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: So we have a channel that sounds like something I
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: would say. I thought we bought little sound we did,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: we did, but yeah, like we we.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Got sound bouncing off the wall behind me, so it doesn't.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Sound like something I would say. So if you do
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: have that photo, there's a channel in a discord called
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: History Museum and it's all old photos of the show.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And you know, I think I have the first photo
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: of Jacob on the show, and there all these other
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: like cool things. I need to go back and find
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: the first Whitney.
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: And you got to do a last one today.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that's right. We gotta take a last photo
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: at the good point Whitney. Yeah, we do. I saw
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: you take one.
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: I took one, but good I'll do with all of us.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Remind me of do that.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Actually works out well for everyone.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: But the show is not being canceled as far as
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: we know. We are gonna be backpacking for a while
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: with Jacob. And then I think, well, we've got play
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: in the future, so the future will be announced when
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: it arrives. Fans are good, exciting stuff.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Several lands. Yeah, we have options, we have.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Several people in the discord were just sing ideas and
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: a very strong one was get an r V and
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, Jacob and ironic that's on the tape.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Tried to pitch that.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: That is oh no, no, that is that is still
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: on the tape neotiation.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: That is still an option. It's not my top option, okay,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: but it is number one. It was never number one, okay.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: But if if we can justify the r V for
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: other things, the trips, and then it becomes like for
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: s Jay's uh touring and everything. But like this summer,
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: we looked at her schedule and there were three dates
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: all this summer that the r V would be handy.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, So like not that last summer, it would have
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: been great.
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: Last summer she was she was driving all over the
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: place and doing like long uh long multi show trips.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: And this summer it's a to just fly in, do
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: a show and a fly back.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Right, it is the.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: Most likely way we'll get to hobo cons.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: That is true.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I design we'll probably just fall asleep in there one
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: day and wake up at home.
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: We could take the train like you know, the rails,
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: the railroad, that's.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Right, the true hobo method of tra just.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Because anybody who knows us knows that we would survive. Well,
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: so well.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we'll just sleep in the tunnels, you know,
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: wherever we end up, and then it'll be fine. Just
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: take cans of beans over a fire. I'm sure we'd
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: be just for survivors, that's right, for sure. So Show
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Creators has been good to us sale of v Show Creators,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: But what an honor to get to close this place down.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: It's hosted a lot of important I think performances such
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: as ice Cream Social Penn Sunday School was nested here
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: for a very long time, so a prestigious background this
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: building has had, so it's exciting to bring it all
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: the way down to the ground.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Well, we've got some great questions for today's show. Want
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: to remind you can drop those questions at Patriot or
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: not Patreon at our email pod Therapy guys at gmail
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: dot com. And also, if you just open up this
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: episode's description in whatever app you're using, scroll on down.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: We've got links to random things. There's a link in
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: there that says, hey, you got a question, here's our
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Google form. It's completely anonymous. You're welcome to drop them
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: in there. In summertime, a lot of times our question
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Q kind of slows down. A lot of people are traveling,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: so we're just not getting as many people writing in
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: and so it's been a thin and out a little bit,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: So get those questions in here because you're likely to
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: get heard a lot faster. There's an express lane, so
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: check it out. But a couple of questions for today.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: First one understanding the urgency of my wife's requests from
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: anonymous Hello friends, my wife and I.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: Stick that finger in my butt now, okay, hurry, I
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: mean that is time sensitive.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: That's the worst, which is like, it is too late.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: You missed it.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: No, just get out now stop Now it's weird.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: That's a very narrow window.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: There's a very small window where you can antally penetrate
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: somebody and they're great with it, and they're happy you
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: did it. But man, it just expires like milk, so bad,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: so fast. My wife and I have normal, meritable, meritable
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: marital squabbles, but the one that is the most confrontational
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: when it does happen, revolves around tasks that my wife
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: gives me to do. The script goes as follows. My
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: wife will ask me to do something around the house,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: clean the kitchen, take out the trash, whatever, I'll say, sure,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: no problem. The issue is in my mind, I interpret
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: the quest as do this when you feel like it.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna pause right here.
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I think all the boys are on the same page
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: right now. Thought wrong with this writer, He's on the
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: right side.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: I don't even know what the problem is question I was.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Just as I was reading. I look up really quick
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: and just see Whitney staring daggers of nodding like this.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: I can't wait.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Here we go, We'll get deeper into this, sure, no problem.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: My mind interprets this as do this whenever you feel
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: like it, but a few hours later or the next morning,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I haven't done it yet. She goes ahead and does
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: the task. Shit, I think I think I already answer that.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: If Just for everybody that doesn't understand this, the writer
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: has subtext in his own letter in which he says,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: oh shit, I think I already know the answer now
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: that I'm typing this out. My wife will then get
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: very frustrated with me that I didn't do the task
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: before her disconnect between her sense of urgency and mine.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: What I would like is to be given a deadline,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: because I'm a brain dead cave man, as it turns out,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: to get the task done by as opposed to feeling
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: like I don't have direction to the direction on the expectations,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: and then, of course, when she does the task before me,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: she's left feeling like I don't take her seriously and
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I'm frustrated that I wasn't given the latitude to handle
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: the task on my own, especially if the task is
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: an urgent. Is it unreasonable to ask for a deadline
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: when she tells me to do something? Or am I
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: just a bum which I am now realizing is more
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: likely the case? Love Anonymous ps extra golf question for
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Nick since my question sucked. I cannot shoot under one
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: hundred to save my life. I've been playing for ten
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: years now. The last part of my game is chipping
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: and lob shots. I have a number of different wedges,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: but have been told to just leave the fifty two
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: degree wedge in the bag, don't use anything else. Do
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: you agree? Thank you Anonymous.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna set some time aside, yeah, to attack
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: that question, but I got some later.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh my god, both these questions I can.
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: I want to hear y'alls first.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: Okay, so the we're all laughing because we all kind
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: of understand, like, Okay, this is clearly she has an
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: expectation of like, hey, can you do the dishes?
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: It's clearly as I think, is what we all. We
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: were all thinking, what a bit that doesn't mean by.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: By the fifteenth of this month. Can you do the
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: dishes that right now?
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: If the recorder will please read back the transcript? Okay,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: the date was not specified, so.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: There are some undertones as far as some expectations. Now,
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: I do think that, yes, obviously, you kind of learn
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: how your partner communicates, right, Like I know, like when
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Laura says something. We've been together long enough now I
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: know that what she says and what she means are
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: different totally, and I need to operate off of what
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: she means. And sometimes I'm still wrong, right, And that's fine.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: But as long as we continue to communicate that and
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: just be like okay, and I just like put that
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: in my memory bank and I'm like that means this.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: I will remember that from for next time.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: But then also, it's not it's all sent to Nick.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: It's not. It's not all one person's fault in this.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: There is there is a little bit of like, okay, communication,
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: like I see how you misinterpreted this. I'll try to
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: communicate this way, you know.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I hope that's what you say. I see now how
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: you misstated what you wanted to say. I see now
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: how you poorly communicate how I see now not exactly
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: I know what you wanted to say.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: Now. It's been that way even for my communication to her,
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: where I will say something and like it's implied in
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: my mind.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Right, here's how I mean.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: What I say is what I mean. But then I
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: have to understand. Okay, well she didn't interpret it that way.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: I can't just rely on her like you need to
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: understand what I mean. Now, I also have to work
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: on changing my communication. I see, there's two sides to
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: the street.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: It's fine saying both sides.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Laura is wrong, yes, of course, of course what I'm saying.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: Now. That being said, I've got like I I can
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: relate to this, not with any partner I've been with,
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: but with my boss, an old boss I had. Okay, okay,
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: uh it was a boss who you know you didn't
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: actually work for her, but we worked for the same organization. Okay.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Oprah Winfrey, what a bit, Oprah? Oh my god? And
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: just so much sexual assault.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Always about doctor Phil wants God, but no, so this, uh,
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: this old supervisor of mine. Everything was an emergency.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I remember this.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Remembers to tell me this.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: Everything was an emergency in her mind, which was detrimental
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: to all of the staff because if everything's an emergency,
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: that means nothing's an emergency. You don't have the The
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: staff didn't have the ability to identify that what is
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: a real emergency and what is not?
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: I need to tell new people on tour, like new
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: uh heads, heads of department or whatever. On on show tours,
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: it was like every stop we go to, every city
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: that we're in, you get to yell at the local
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: crew one time. Okay, you get one good, pissed off yell,
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: and if you do it more than once, you're just
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: the guy that yells.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Now you're just yelling and nobody listens to you.
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: If you are a reasonable person and you yell one time,
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: people take you seriously and you can move.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: No, you don't have to yell if nothing's going.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Wrong, but you don't want to waste either. Wait, do
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: you get roll over yells?
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Well no, it's like no, no, no.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, well then you're not gonna Well then I'm not
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: wasting the yell you've sized me. I'm going to use it.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to waste I can't.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: It's like your patient's gem.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: I'm going to This is like coffee, like right right,
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: And the Andy Griffiths Show has got one bullet he
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: keeps in his shirt pocket if he ever needs ready
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: to one bullet, ready to go.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: No, but so wait, you just learned something like huh oh.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: I can't talk about it. I'm I'm thinking about doing
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: a spinoff podcast that's just the Andy Gris.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Do it.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Let's do.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: No, we only need one verse, so.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: We gotta finish now.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Anyway, I got left out. So here's the thing I
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: think with some of that, Like I get the frustration
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: with that because with with my old boss, because everything
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: was an emergency. If something happened.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: She wouldn't use the bathroom.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Now, she wouldn't have this baby in nine months.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: She would she would know about it first and then
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: would have to deal with it first. And so it's
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: almost I And at one point I had this conversation
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: with her in her office. I said, look like we're
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: playing a doubles we're playing we're playing tennis. We're playing
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: it like a doubles match, and you're yelling at me
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: for not hitting the ball when you're right up at
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: the net, right and you're hitting every single thing, like,
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: go ahead if you want to play that way. But
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: you can't play that way.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: And be mad at me, right, yeah, because it doesn't
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: get that fall back to me.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: She said, watch me.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: That's a really good example.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: She said, I bet I can.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Now that's a really good example. Like the urgency in
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: that case. Obviously this person is like exaggerated, and therefore
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: you're looking and going, hey, this, You've got to kind
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: of pick your battles here. So Jacob hypothetical question. Yes,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: you are sitting on your couch. You've got your dog
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: there on your lap, and have a nice cold beer
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: in your hand. Maybe you're watching the NBA finals. Okay,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I just just enjoying a nice evening to yourself. You
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: can hear your wife, lovely ladies, she's in the kitchen. She's,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: you know, cleaning up some things, putting away some things.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: That doesn't sound like her.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, So then she.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Sorry, hypothetical hypothetical.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: And she hollers out from the other rounds like her, babe, babe,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: can you take out the trash?
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, what does that mean to you? Are you putting
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: the dog down and getting on right now.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: For the trash, for that specific request.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: That usually means I'm in the middle of something right now,
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: I need this bag of trash moved right now.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: So for that specific request. Because like what Nick was saying,
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: you know, you get to know each other, you know
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: the language.
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: Okay, So with trash, I know that if she calls
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: from another room and says, could you take the trash
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: out please, I know that whatever she's doing in that
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: other room, she needs that trash gone, okay pretty pretty immediately.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: That is a time sensitive request that the implication of
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: that is it's urgent.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's different than hey, the burner on the stove
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: isn't working. Could you take a look at that's right?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Or are you going to knock out these dishes? Yea,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: and yes, but I'm not going to stop watching this
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: live show for that.
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: And so like yeah, like with the dishes, she might
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: say like, hey, there's some dishes in the sink. Like
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: if I'm off one night or something, Let's let's really
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: get creative with this.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Let's say that I have a free night.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So let's say that I'm off one night and
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: she says, hey, there are dishes in the sink. I'm
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: gonna go do a show if you could tackle these
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: dishes at some point. I know that what she means
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: by that is, hey, before we go to bed tonight. Okay,
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: if you could get these dishes knocked out, that'd be awesome.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Here's what that means in my brain. If my wife
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: says that to me, that means if I get home
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: and these are still here, it is your ass. Well,
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: and so I like, yeah, the butt stuff we talked
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: about earlier, this stuff that I don't like, and I
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: want her to stop. I don't like it anymore. Jimmy
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: gets his chores done now I'm bugging around.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess it doesn't really mean until we and
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: before we go to bed. It means before we go
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: to bed, or please don't make these be in my
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: way when I get home.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: It's almost like.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: Like she's gonna get home and just make a cup
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: of tea, then great, who cares if they're dishes in
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: the same Okay, But if she's gonna get home and
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: try to make like a late meal or something, right,
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: and those dishes are going to be in the way.
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: Okay, Yeah, I almost hear it as like, hey, this
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: would mean a lot to me if you could do
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: these It's like I'm asking you, Yes, I could do them.
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: I could do them later, I could do them now.
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: But you know what I'm I have a lot on
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: my plate, you know, and you're kind of chilling.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: In my world. It's a warning in my world if
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I'm being told, hey can you grab the can you
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: are you gonna do these dishes? Or hey can you
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: do this thing? Can you do this task? That is
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: and this is where I feel for the writer because
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: for me a lot of times it's like yeah, I
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I I'll even say that, Yeah I don't Yep, I'll
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: do that. But for me, it's like I'm doing something
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: else right now. I and and like I want that
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: to be honored. I'm not going to stop what I'm doing.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: And I think another layer that backs all this. Yeah exactly,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I'm furiously masturbating after the Andy Griffith Show. You know
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: that's my three PM, right.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, But from her perspective, like when are you not well?
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Marriages, compromise that needs to get you're right. Compromise is important.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Another layer of this puzzle of socks. Yeah, they're standing
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: on their own looks like they pulled out of mannequins.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: So another layer that makes it even more complex is
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: having kids.
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: I was going to say this too, it.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Gets more, so yeah, here I go. So it gets
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: really complicated because as your kids are growing up, you
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: start delegating chores to them, not because they're that helpful,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: that's part of them growing. They need to do it,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: and it's frustrating because then of course your kids don't
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: do it or you're having to parent them, and a
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: lot of times you'll turn your angst on your partner
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: and you'll be like, are you going to take this trash?
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, no, that's our son's chore, Like, well,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: I told him to do it, he didn't do it,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: so are you gonna to do it? And it's like no,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: that defeats the fucking point. You've got to go back
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: and do some parenting work, like or I'll go yell
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: at his ass. But then it's like you're just you're
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: you're gonna yell at him because you're lazy and you
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: just don't want to tell him to you know, you're
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: gonna tell him to do it because you don't want
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: to do it, and it's like, trust me, it's way
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: easier for me to bag up this ship and take
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: it out to the garage then to go march upstairs,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: get my kid off his video games, explain to him
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: that he's taking me to.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: Take this plastic bag of trash outside than it is
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: to try to get a.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Parent, teenager or pretea.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Coll the fuck up. Trust me, I would rather do
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: the labor, but that adds a whole nother lab.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: Labor to try to get an adult to do it too.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's funny because that's how Shelby should be, like, oh,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: you know, and can you do this and do that
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: and do this by the time I get home or
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: something like that, And sometimes I'll be like yes, but
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: also I several of these things need to be done
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: by the child or one of our children. You get
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: home at the same time they do, and so I'm
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: not gonna do it. And that's not me being flipping
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: or definant. It's me looking at and going no, because
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: other shit needs to be part of this ecosystem. But
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: there is I also am absolutely guilty what the writer
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: talks about where it's just a delay right where it's like, hey,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: can you do this thing, and I'm like, yes, but
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: for me, cleaning off the table, tidying up the kitchen,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: doing some dishes or whatever, that all needs to be
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: done on my timeline, which is like before the next
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: time I want to use that stuff. Whereas for her,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: if she's walking around and that shit is dirty around her, right,
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: that's emotionally hurtful. And so then she's looking around and
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: being like, I'm not going to be able to handle this.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I can't handle shit still on the kitchen table, I
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: can't handle the dishes here, So I'm going to stop
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing now and clean all the shit. And
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well you all you have to do is wait,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: and she's like, but there's an emotional tax on asking
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: me to do that.
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: It's mental clutter.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: That's fair. And the more I've learned that this goes
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: back to Nick's epiphany about like meaning versus words, the
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: more I've come to understand that it's not about asking
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: me to do the task, it's understanding the meaning behind
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: what effect does this have on her if it's not done,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: and knowing her personally that she's like she'll get emotional
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: about it not being done. Then I feel a sense
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: of urgency to get it done, because I don't want
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: her to go through the units of suffering that go along.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: With Jay and I try We try hard in our
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: house too.
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: If we need something immediately from the other person, we
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: try to just communicate that.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we try to say that right through the surface
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: the butler.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: You tell the butler to.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: Tell Okay, yeah, sometimes with the intercom system, depending on
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: what we're in we carry your pigeons. Yeah, yeah, but yeah,
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: we try to do the like, hey, like if there's
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: if there.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Is a time limit in my mind on a thing
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: that I'm asking.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: S J to do, yeah, well, people are coming to visit.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: I'll try to tell her that, like, hey, this is happening,
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: could you try to get this taken care of before
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: before that?
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, no, that's fair. All right, well let us
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: have it. But I do ask her to And you've
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: just been sitting there just chewing on your pinky nail,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: just like fuck, I'm going to fuck these dudes up.
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: I think there's a perspective here. Jimmy did a good
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: job touching on some some topics. My kid angle was
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: a little different than what you said. And I hear
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: you and that's valid with teens, but I feel like
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: when kids are in those younger years and like they're
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: five and not able to take out the trash, what
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: happens is women are carrying the mental load of like
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: managing the children most of the time. And this is
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: obviously in like kind of stereotypical, but yeah, like one
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: partner will say, it tends to be the woman at
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: times is taking on this this mental load of like,
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: all right, I've got to get the kids dressed and
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: you know, up at during the day and all this stuff,
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: and that I'm gonna get them, get dinner ready and
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: like get them laid down at night, and to the
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: mental load of having to tell you another adult what
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: to do. It's like, look the fuck around, do anything.
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: You can do anything here, Like can you.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: Imagine, Whitney, can you imagine living with Jim Job He
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: don't make it.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I have got brutal better. No, but Whitney. I love
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: this point. You're because the writer talks about getting direction right,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: and I think this is where a lot of and
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I'm guilty of this too. Yeah, a lot of men
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: get frustrated because we're like, well, that's not you didn't
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: tell me you didn't do this, well, you didn't tell
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: me to do this. Yeah, and I appreciate because I've
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: been in that male brain. I've said those exact ways,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: and I know what my heart wants it to say
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: at that time, which is like your energy that you're
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: coming at me with implies that I've betrayed you somehow
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: because I didn't do something you've asked. I don't want
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: to pay that price when I wasn't asked to do it.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: But then i've, after twenty years of marriage, understood the
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: feminine perspective, which is stereotypical, but often the other partner perspective,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: which is we are both co equal adults. We both
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: live in this environment. It's not my job to give
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: you a chores list, like you're a teenage boy and
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: I'm your mom. You're just supposed to proactively look around
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: and complete the things that need to be completed. Yeah,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: But then this turns into a couple's debate where sometimes
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: they'll say, okay, that's fair, a I should be all
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: to complete things the way I want to complete them,
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: which is a whole new conversation of like because I've
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: been I've been fired from doing dishes, I've been fired
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: from doing laundry. I've been fired from other chores because
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: I don't do it.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Dare you.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: I am a union laborer. We do great work.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: No, But I mean like it's tough because it's like, okay,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: well I want you to do this. It's like okay,
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: I'll do it, and it's like, oh, you didn't do
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: it right, So then it's like okay. But there that's
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: a tough area too, because then it's like I'm trying.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: And also like your standard might be unusually high, and
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I don't need to go line up ten humans and
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: ask what the average is. I'm the other half. And
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: if I'm telling you, okay, I'll take on the task,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: but it's going to be done Jimmy's way, that's it.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: You know, we got to do it or you got
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: to talk to me through that.
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: So yeah, I I what I wanted to start off
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: by saying is I used to be more on team, like, oh,
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: just tell your partner kind of what the writer is saying, like, hey,
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: can you take out the trash before we go to
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: bed tonight? Give them the like give that instruction. But
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: over time, having like met with clients, seeing things, you know,
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: on the internets and all this stuff, and again not
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: having the same experience as people with families have, Like
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: there's just a lot more going on in those ecosystems.
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: I am a little bit more on board with, Like, Okay,
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: in the beginning, tell me, give me instruction. We just
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: started dating, we just moved in together. You're feeling each
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: other out, like how you do a chore versus how
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: I do a chore, right, And that's fair to say
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: to try and say like, oh, well, this is how
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna do things or whatnot. I also maybe this
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: is just because this is what was modeled to me.
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: Like my stepmom has a very high standard of cleanliness
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: in her home, Okay, like maybe bordering on OCD, you know,
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: very very thorough. My dad has never been like a
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: sloppy guy or anything. He like lived on his own,
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: He cooked his own meal. Like he's self sufficient, like
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: between when my parents divorced and he met my stepmom,
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: so like he could take care of himself. But when
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: you talk about the level, right, but I watched him.
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: He'll even when they come to our house, we'll put
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: dishes in the sink and we love our dishwasher. I
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: will let that ship fill up, and I put everything
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: things I shouldn't. Don't judge me, like go in that
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: fucking dish wash cat, the sharp knives that I should
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: not be putting at at all. I don't care it
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: goes in there, like I mean just about everything.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: I have knives, knives.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: I know you're you're like chefs over there, so it's
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: not I know.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: It's not us.
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: I have like knives that and I don't tell she
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: can't use them, but I just have knives that she
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: does not use.
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: Yes, I was gonna say, I was like, and that's
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: very like. I know that I don't want these fucked
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: up these days over here, Like I appreciate that. So
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: like I will let the dishes fill up, Peter and
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: I both and then we put like whatever in the dishwasher.
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: My dad, when he comes to visit, my stepmom trained him. Yeah,
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: once we've like cooked meal, like before everything, before we
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: go to bed, before we're winding down, like right after
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: we've eaten, he's already he's in there. He's doing the dishes.
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: He's cleaning right away right away. There is not a
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: dish that's which.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Is a great house guest to have, though, it is.
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: It is. I still prefer to just put him in
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: the dish.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: They are busting the rhythm.
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like out of my rhythm. And then now
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: they're sitting there and I have to put them away
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: right now because they died. I'm just like, no, let's
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: just have the the ten minutes of putting all the
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: dishes away. But anyway, so it can be time consuming,
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: but she has like he knows the expectation of what
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: pleases her. Okay, right, not to say he's not an
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: asshole in other area, my dad, but that is an
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: area I think he knows. Like, I know what she wants,
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: I know how she wants this tour done. I'm going
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: to do that. I know.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: Understanding how to please people and pleasing them are always
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: the same thing, right, going to like I understand how
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: to please my wife.
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, finger, so I guess that would be my question.
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: What keeps you from doing it the way she wants to?
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Like it? Over the years, I do so like now,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: but like, yeah, this I usually come in first with
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: the idea of like, you know, you do have to negotiate.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: So if you ask your husband, hey, I want you
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: to sweep the kitchen or mop the kitchen. I think
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: it's proper to show him like, this is the way
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I do it, you know, I this is how I'm
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: hoping you do it. But if he's like, look, I
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: don't I don't like to use this special swift forer thingy.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I like to just use a mop in hot water
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: and some soap, and like that's how I'm gonna do it,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: and I'll get it done my way. All right, They're
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: still at an impasse therapeutically. I'm usually going to come
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: in there and talk about, like, let's make room for
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: this because you don't want him to become your personal servant.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: He's not your personal maid. Part of your beef is
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: the delegation. I don't like always delegating and directing, but
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes we get stuck where we're talking out
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: of both sides of our mouth on that where like
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: on one part of our brain we're like, you're a
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: fucking grown up. I shouldn't have to tell you how
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: to do it, and they're like, listen, fucking grown up,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: do it exactly my way. It's like, hey, if that
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: wasn't your spouse, if that was just your friend or
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: your sibling, would you be talking to them that way,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: or would you just kind of let it hang and
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: they're like, hey, you know, I cleaned up the kitchen
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: for you. If your mother in law comes over, she's like, hey,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: I threw everything out, I took care of it. You
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: don't go, okay, I'll just have to re wash this dishes, right,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: excuse me? Well, you just don't do it the way
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I do it.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: People like a dinner parties and stuff washing dishes, and
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: that's not an uncommon day.
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: Win And we have and we have people come over
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: to the house and we'll we'll have dinner and everything,
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: and a lot of times one of our friends will
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: just make their way into the kitchen and stop out
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: and start cleaning up dishes. Yeah, And of course you
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: always do the uh the leave it, leave it, leave it.
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: We're gonna put all in the dish washer later. It's
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: not a big deal. And then ten minutes later it's
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: all just done. Yeah, And like nothing is where you
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: want it, right.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: But I feel like this is a really big hint
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: of how you think things are going to go when
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: we record at your house.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's so, I don't want to say this nicely.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is expected then when people come over, that's.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: Right, right, the knives are.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: We get there, there will just be like vacuums and mops.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: There's a little cho.
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: There's a picture book of how to do the show. No,
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: I want to say to the couples. I wonder if
• 31:17
  Speaker 5: you've experienced system the couples that I have dealt with
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: or talked through who have the most challenges. It seemed
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: to be when one partner has eighthd Yeah, and I'm like,
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: that's a whole other layer. But it's hard because they're
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: like I have told them so many times, or they're
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: like they said they would do it, and then they
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: got distracted and.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Their heart's good, they want to help, and the other
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: person they're horrified that they keep dropping the ball.
• 31:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they feel bad, but then they get frustrated because
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: they're like, now you're always nagony and like I just
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: I messed up and it's just like this difficult space.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: So which is part of how we diagnose eh, Yes, yeah,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: apparently this is having a bad effect on your social
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: life exactly.
• 31:54
  Speaker 5: No.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I think we've you know, looked at this from every angle,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: and you know, I agree with you. I I over
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: the years, I think you have to come to understand
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: what your partner wants because otherwise, when you do this,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: they're going to be unhappy. And obviously at the end
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: of the day, you do want your partner to be happy.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: And then you're you know, doing it more and more
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: their way, which I think has happened over the years.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Like your father, I've been trained over twenty years to
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of do it the way that she
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: wants it done. But we've also had to have hard
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: talks sometimes where it's like, hey, I'm not the kids,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: you know, so like when you ask me to do something, hey,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: you're right, you shouldn't have to ask, Like, you know,
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I get my own chore list going on, and we
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: we have to do this. Like i'd say, about every year,
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: we end up reaching a boiling point. And she's a
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: school teacher, so it's kind of predictable when it's going
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: to happen. It's usually the same time of year. Everything's
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: come into a head. She's struggling at school and work
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: in the kids' lives, and it's just everything's boiling over.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: She'll get predictively frustrated, and then we'll end up in
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: this conversation where she's like I just don't feel supported
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: by you, like you need to do more. And I'm
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: like okay, and I go full therapist mode, or I'm
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: like I want to do better, like and I get
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: out the list and I'm like, okay, this is the
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: list I currently do. These are the days that I
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: do that. You show me what I need to add
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: to this list, and then we get it on there
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: and then I try to like make that a felt
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: experience like that the next week you notice it's being
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: done and then you know that's that's hopefully making a
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: difference in a person's life. But we've also had to
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: have hard talks where it's like, look, you know, you
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: can't just come in here and rule on high or
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: say things like oh I told you to take out
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: the trash or whatever, I told you do this thing
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: like and it's like, yeah, you didn't tell me. When
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: it's like, well I shouldn't have to, it's like no,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: you do, Like I'm sorry, but you do. Or sometimes
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: it's a test where it's like I told you, then
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I walked away to see if you would do it,
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: and it's like no, don't. I'm a grown fucking man.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Don't do that do that to our children absolutely and
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: then reprimand them like a parent. I'm not your child,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: you know, so like we're gonna have to deal with
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: this shit. But no, this is thorny shit, and a
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: lot of families just.
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: Go full hog and get like the big adult sized
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: diaper and.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Just say, just be one of the kids. That's it.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be one of the kids. So Nick,
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I think one time she'll cut all that shit out.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: We've budgeted ninety seconds for you to explain how to
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: impress golf.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: You forget, I'm a coho. I'll take as long as
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: i want.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Damn it.
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: Here's the bathroom.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: I'll talk through it.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: I don't care.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: They got to close this building down.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: Thing. We only have the building through the end of
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: the monster.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: Here's here's what I would suggest writer. Okay, so you're
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: shooting to shoot under one hundred. Here's the thing. It's
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: it's gonna be one of two things that you're gonna
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: want to focus on. You focus on both ball striking
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: and targets. Course management. Okay, So when it comes to
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: course management, the idea is aim for Texas, not Rhode Island. Okay,
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: So when you're finding your targets. You have to aim
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: for spots that are going to be you're gonna be
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: allowed to miss. So, for example, I just played this
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: past weekend and there is several par four's, par fives
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: where I didn't take out driver. I took out a
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: four iron because where my driver would have landed is
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: the narrowest part of the fairway and there's some danger there,
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: so I lay up short of it. Okay. So that's
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: course management, just being able to understand where you're most
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: likely to miss and play to those. Ball striking is
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: the other one. So the things three things that you're
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: going to focus on. Okay, you're gonna want to focus
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: on hitting the ball in the center of the club face. Okay,
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: getting good at that. Okay, here's what you do. Go
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: to Walgreens, CBS, any pharmacy. Pick up some doctor Schoal's
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: foot powder spray. I'm serious, ok take this. Take it
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: with you when you go to the driving range. Spray
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: the club, the face of the club, and then as
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: you're hitting balls, you're gonna be able to look down
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: and you're gonna see where on the club face. Yeah,
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: it'll leave a mark, so you know where you're hitting
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: right now, So you want to get really good at
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: three things. One is hitting the center of the club face. Okay.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: Second thing is ground contact. That's the second thing you
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: want to practice.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: You don't want to stub that.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: Making sure, yeah, making sure that your divot is in
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: front of the ball, not behind it. So you're hitting
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: ball first, so you're hitting down.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: When he went to the bathroom just came we're talking
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: about obviously we went back to the butt stuff.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: Third thing. Third thing is learning club face control. Okay, okay,
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: learning to be able to keep no the ball. If
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: the ball starts always is if you're right handed, If
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: the ball starts right, it means your club face is open.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: If it starts left, it means the club face is closed. Okay, okay.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: So those three things ball first contact, shut up Whitney,
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: hitting the center of the club face, and ground contact.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: Those are three things. Good advice you focus on that
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: because I'll be honest, there's some guys that I play
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: with in my league that I look at when they
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: when they swing and I'm like, Jesus Christ, how the
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: fuck are you even making contact with the ball? Okay,
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: Like God, they have a terrible ugly swing. But they're
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: good golfers, and it's because they've learned. Even though they've
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: developed all these bad habits, they've learned how to do
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: those three things. Okay, basics, they've managed those. Have you
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: seen that episode of Rick and Morty where Jerry.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Asks him to help him get a swing off. His
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: golf games keep and they keep making more to try
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: to help him, and they realize they should just kill him,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: like his golf game will improve if he's.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: Dead, which, by the way, I don't know when we're
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: planning on going to top Golf eventually, but I mentioned
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: after we get done tonight to my to my golf
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: and partners this weekend, uh, that that we're doing that.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: You know that you think you can beat me at Topka,
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: And it was it was a it was actually, I mean.
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: If anybody's willing to bet on both sides, that's fair,
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: somebody is it was we all got a really good
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: kick out of it.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Well, your friends clearly don't know how successful I've been
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: out of my one top golf experience, So I was
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: very good. Sonic the Hedgehog got like all the coins
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: when I smacked the ball.
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: I actually I did a recording here.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay, play it into the microphone on. All right there,
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: there is no way, no way. I've heard you talk.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: You sound good, A lot of good with a lot
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: of talking. You're not going to be nick.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: Who is this?
• 38:16
  Speaker 5: That's the final say who is this?
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Asshole?
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: I think that's Tiger Woods.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: That's my buddy Cola.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Oh ship, oh Cola?
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: All right? That was O. J.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: Simpson golf O J. Simpson from the grave. All right, well,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: well we will see what happens there, Tange. I'll make
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Cola eat his words. We are going to take a
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: quick break and when we come back, we're talking about something.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: We're all experts in pregnancy. You're listening to pod therapy.
• 38:43
  Speaker 5: No one here.
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: Today's episode has brought to you by s Mason Miller,
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: Test Miller, Biler, Team Paris, Team Monico, Oscar Swanrose, Canna, Marie,
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: Emma Kine and Myra. Would you like to sponsor the show?
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Become a therap producer a Patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: All right, when was the last we all have seen
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: the movie Clueless?
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: I watched when it was released?
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thirty years old? Oh wow, yes, summer so it
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: went back in theater. So Laura and I and her
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: sister went to this movie today.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's kind of so we saw it back.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: In the theater. I know that it's back around. I
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: knew that it was the anniversary of it.
• 39:23
  Speaker 5: I think they're making a new one.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: I don't know, they might, I don't know.
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: Go on there, say and I watched RuPaul's Drag Race
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: and they are in the middle of the season of
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars right now, and they do
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: a whole challenge based around clueless because there's the anniversary. Yeah,
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: I do know that it's coming. I don't think I've
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: seen it since it's a theater released.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: In ninety five. But watching it again, like as an adult,
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: there's a lot more of the jokes that I got
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: than I did the first time. All right, let's go,
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: let's go Jacob.
• 39:54
  Speaker 5: All right, Lucky Ducky.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: What high school does share attend?
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: Oh if you would ask me what her name was,
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: I could approach your share options.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, options West Beverly High, Bronson all Caught High, Ridgemont High,
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: or Pacific Palisades Prep.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Oh boy, let's go for the alliteration. Let's go Pacific
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: Palisades Prep.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: That feels good.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: No Bronson all caught?
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Oh man, I would I wouldn't have known that either.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: The Ridge one felt like another movie.
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: Isn't that fast time?
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, Whitney. What is the name of the teacher share
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: plays matchmaker for the male teacher?
• 40:39
  Speaker 5: Oh wait, it's a male teacher. Okay, sorry, yes, yes, yes,
• 40:43
  Speaker 5: it's the inconceivable guys.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, that doesn't even saw the actor. I don't know what.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I don't remembers at all.
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: I remember the curly haird teacher to write. Anyways, what's
• 41:00
  Speaker 5: the options?
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: I don't know his name, mister Hall, mister Elton, mister Wendell,
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: or mister Horowitz.
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: I mean the last one kind of feeling no, share
• 41:10
  Speaker 5: Horowitz is her name, so I'm pretty sure yeah all
• 41:14
  Speaker 5: of the Yes, I know Elton is not a either
• 41:17
  Speaker 5: that's the guy she likes or is rich or whatever,
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: or that is ahole, you know. I feel like the
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: it's Hall and what was the other one, Wendell? One
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: of them is the lady's name that she tries to connect.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: Hall.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: Correct.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, Jesus, we're fucked. We do not have a shot
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: in helse.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: I knew Share I.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: Didn't know that.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: The other day.
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like I got that far.
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, Uh, what is the band, Jim, what is the
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: band playing during the party in the valley?
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: Give me the options, Green.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: Day, Radiohead, No Doubt, Mighty Mighty Boss Tones.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: God damn it, it's not Blank. I want it to
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: be Mighty Boss Tones. But I feel like that wasn't
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: the vibe. I don't feel like they were trying that.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I don't think they were getting into ska. I think
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: it was so posh. That's a real band, Mighty Mighty Boston.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a ska band.
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: What is this word you're saying, Scott Kaca, It's a
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: style of music, Whitney.
• 42:24
  Speaker 5: Oh, I don't know this.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: It was like when punk had trumpets, like real big Fish.
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna look this up.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, you do that, infant, all right, So get rid
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: of Blink, get rid of real big Fish. My options
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: are real big Fish. Oh sorry, Mighty boss Tones. Okay,
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: and then that leaves me with what.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Real big fish.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like No Doubt really started blowing up right
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: around this time, but I don't know if they were
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: in the movie.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Give Me Radiohead, Steal it's gotta be no doubt.
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah right, it's really good.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: No shit, I think it's got to be Bostones or
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: I thought for sure, like, oh, Gwen Stefani had to
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: have made a cameo.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: I mean she was huge right around that time. But
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: I think the movie just got there, got ahead of
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: her point.
• 43:16
  Speaker 5: Okayre enough, Yeah, I think it's a lot of brain work.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: All right, we don't know what anything about. I'm winning, Yes, sure,
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: our buddy.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, man, I don't even remember this question coming
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: through the pipeline.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: So let will be fun.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, I'm a twenty five year old female and
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: I'm currently pregnant. I've heard lots we.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: Had nothing to do with that, yeh yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: this is how we find out yours.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Scoopfest was nine months ago and somebody owes me child.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: I've heard lots of stories of pregnant women having intense
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: emotions about situations that they later find laughable. For example,
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: I've had several friends say they had a tearful meltdown
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: because they had a specific craving that they couldn't get
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, or maybe their partner
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: ate something that they were planning on eating. I've had
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: my occasional moments of tears or anxieties, but I feel
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: like they're genuine concerns, yet other people don't seem to
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: be taking them seriously. I'll try talking to my husband
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: or to friends about things that I'm sad or worried about,
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm like that just because I'm pregnant.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: It's always met with ha or boy. Hormones can be
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: pretty crazy when you're pregnant, and I don't feel like
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: I can actually address or my concerns actually get addressed.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: To give some examples, I've tried talking about my fears
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: of loneliness during postpartum, concerns about being on the same
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: page as my husband and parenting, and current family drama.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: Since people seem to respond by saying my feelings are
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: just a product of crazy pregnancy hormones. Now, when I
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: feel sad or anxious, I find myself essentially saying to myself, well,
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: I'm probably just feeling this way because of hormones, so
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: it's probably not a big deal, and then I just
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: don't deal with whatever I'm feeling. My question would be,
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: how can I tell if my feelings are valid or
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: possibly just overreacting because of my hormones. Does that even matter?
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: How do I address my emotions whether my emotions are
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: valid or even when maybe I am overreacting?
• 45:13
  Speaker 5: Thanks Anonymous, I feel like we had a very similar question.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: I'm almost confident we have literally had this this question. Yeah,
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: I where did you get this one?
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: Because then the fucking Google forms thing that you.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't send you the Google forms to start going
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: through the Google forms. I sent you that so you
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: could see the most updated questions because you were asking
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: I don't understand the updated questions. I just clicked the
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: link that was at the top.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: Okay. So the way the Google forms work, thank you,
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: is when we get new questions, I dump them into
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: the question.
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: No, that's what you used to do. You stop doing
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: it for some reason.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: That's always what I do. And then today we got
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: two new questions because we didn't have any new questions.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: So like then, I got two more because I went
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: to this court today and I said, hey, everybody, we're
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: am to send them in. And then two came in
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: and that's why there's now questions onto that.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: One of the queues at the time.
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: Do you want to find question?
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: I mean go ahead, I mean please, please go in
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: and because it sounded familiar to me too, but this
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: was at the top of the Google Parks.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: New Question, New Question, Getting Habits to Stick? Yeah, And
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: then I've got a third one from the Que's fiddy
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: getting habits to stick? How do you get a habit
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: to stick? And I have things that I want to
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: make part of my routine, but it is difficult to
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: stay consistent. I may do it the first week, but
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: then I find myself struggling with follow through in the
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: following weeks. I already tend to stick to a daily,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: weekly routine pretty well, such as meditating in the morning
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: and following up with lifting weights at the gym, so
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: it's confusing to me why I am not able to
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: add in additional habits to this existing routine. An example
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: would be that I want to add stretching to my routine.
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: I'll add it to my weekly planner that I create
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: on Sunday nights as stretch for one hour this week.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: The thing is, I don't like to stretch, so when
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: I get to the gym, I will go play basketball
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: or do something I enjoy more than stretching to loosen
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: up Another example is reading. I enjoy reading and read
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: most nights before bed, but when I have a goal
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: of reading a specific self improvement book, I find myself
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: reading sci fi and fantasy books that I enjoy more.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: How do I implement new habits that I don't enjoy
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: and but I know would be good for me? Thanks anonymous.
• 47:26
  Speaker 5: Habits?
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: I mean this goes right into personal training, right because,
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: like I mean, this is the fundamental greatest barrier I
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: think to entry because so many people, Yeah, like when
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: you tell people like, oh, you know, I do personal training.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: I'm big into fitness. Everybody celebrates that. Everybody's like, oh,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: that's fantastic, and almost everybody probably meets that with I
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: have really been meaning to do that. I have really
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: been meaning to do that any day now, or I've tried,
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: but then how like you tried twenty five times, and
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: like the consistency falls away, developing a positive habit to
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: do something that you've decided you've determined you want to do,
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: but you keep hitting that barrier of entry, or you
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: do something else. You're like, you know what, I'm gonna
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: send up for personal trainment, do this, I'm gonna go
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: to the gym.
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: It feels productive.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: It was gonna go run instead, you know, like, and
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna do
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: some yoga on YouTube. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: do that, you know what. I'm just gonna. I'm just
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: gonna not eat as bad, you know, Like you just
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: keep negotiating, and I feel like that's so easy to
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: walk away from. Like the task you want to hold
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: yourself accountable.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: To, I mean a big part of it is putting
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: some skin in the game and being accountable to somebody else.
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: And this is something I've actually I actually was just
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: having a conversation with actually, funny enough, two different people
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: today about this exact topic, which is about kind of
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: my business model and how I've got it set up
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: because I don't plug it enough. But like the way
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: that I set up my in person personal training, so
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: I do in person personal training through my business, but
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: then I also do it for a gym here in
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: town if I've got clients from both, right, And the
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: thing that the big thing that's different for me is
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: that when I set up my business, I set it
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: up as almost kind of like a digital punch card
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: where you buy so many sessions and you just use them.
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: Oh whenever, okay, and when you're out, you just buy
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: another Bible.
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: And then you just buy another bundle and you just
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: use them, which I love because I love that. To me,
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: if I was the client, that's what I would want,
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: is I'd want some sort of like, yeah, I just
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: like I can spend these however I want. I like
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: having that free.
• 49:33
  Speaker 5: I want to come twice this week before vacation, I
• 49:35
  Speaker 5: can then if I.
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: Want to do three or I want to do one, whatever,
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: you know, and you don't feel like you're losing out.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: On the gym that I work for, they do it
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: a little bit differently where they're selling it as a package.
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: So you can buy once a week personal training, twice
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: a week personal training, three times a week personal training,
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: and you're built bi weekly, so every two weeks you're
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: build for no matter what, two four or six sessions.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: Now you don't lose those sessions. So if you only
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: do so, if I, yeah, if I sign up for
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: three times a week, but I only use two of them,
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: that just that extra one just stays in the bank.
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: But and I didn't really like that at first because
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: to me, it felt kind of like, I don't want
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: to say a money grab, but it kind of felt
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: like that a little bit. Yeah, but it's so much
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: more efficient and effective for reading meeting people's goals because like,
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: if you're paying for six sessions over two weeks, hey,
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: they're gonna they're there, right, and so you're paying for
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: them one way or the other, and so it forces
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: people to go to the gym on days that they're
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: not feeling it. It's like, shit, I've already paid for I.
• 50:47
  Speaker 5: Don't have friends that say that, like, oh, I don't
• 50:48
  Speaker 5: want to pay like the cancelation fee or like cancelation
• 50:51
  Speaker 5: fee or something. So I'm going to go like they
• 50:53
  Speaker 5: too go And I.
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: Do think that it makes a difference long term, and
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: I don't want to change my business model, but that's
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: something I've kind of been playing, yeah, because it's like, yeah,
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: what it forces people to go there and then they
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: get results. And at the end of the day, like,
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: if you're paying for something and you're not getting results,
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: you're not going to continue to do it, right, whether
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: that be therapy, golf lessons or whatever, personal training. If
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: you're not getting the results, you're not gonna You're not
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: gonna stick with it, and I think that my my
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: package that I've got it set up is at some
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: point maybe you stop seeing the results or you're not
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: seeing any results, and then you just you know, So
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: it's is that more a better business model?
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: I don't think you know when people are so I
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: love that, by the way, I completely agree with that,
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: the psychology of that. And then whenever you've got like
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: specific challenges that you want people to do, and you're like,
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: like this person's say case, they're saying I need to
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: do more stretching, and like I could see a scenario
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: where you're you're telling your client this is what we
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: are agreeing that you need to do, like this is
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: the task, and then if they kind of just keep
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: struggling with doing that and they they divert, they keep
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: like I didn't stretch, but I played basketball, like I
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: ran some laps I did. It's like, okay, man, that's
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: not the agreement. Any advice on like how to incrementally
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: nudge in that direction or even work with it to say, okay,
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: let's roll with your resistance here, Like fine, you want
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: to play basketball, I want you to do like a
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: certain way of playing in which you just catch yourself
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: stretching as you know, the opponents are dribbling up the
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: court or whatever.
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, in that particular example, I'd say that's just not
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: gonna work. Like, if you're going to stretch, you gotta stretch,
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: you gotta do it right.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: It's like there's no there's no middle ground in there
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: of like, yeah, I didn't I didn't stretch, but you
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: know when I was stopped at the stoplight, I kind
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: of pushed my foot hard. It doesn't know, that's not
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: the same thing. So there does have to be some
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: level of kind of commitment to like doing it. And
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: that's where I feel like having somebody there who's going
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: to hold you accountable to it is going to be
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: very important because there's no way to kind of half asset,
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: you know, and and still make it beneficial. The other
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: thing though, too, to think about.
• 52:59
  Speaker 5: Is like.
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: I'll do it because it's good for me. But if
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: it's something you absolutely hate and are not willing to do,
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: then maybe this just isn't for you, you know. I mean,
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: like the stretching thing, I think is very beneficial, and yes,
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: that's going to help you in the long term, and
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: you should definitely do that. But like when you're talking
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: about reading books, like I want to read self improvement books,
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: but I keep finding myself reading sci fi and fantasy?
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: How far? How hard do you want to force yourself
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: to read something you're not interested in reading, you know,
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: as opposed to I think going to the gym or
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: exercise or something like that is a little bit different
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: because you know, there are definite scientific, you know, advantages
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: or long term effects of doing that, but there are
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: also different ways in which you can do it, right,
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: There's only one way to.
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: Read a book.
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: A couple of ways. I guess you can book on
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: audio books and stuff like that. But you know, like
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: if you're going to exercise, Okay, that doesn't necessarily have
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: to mean resistance training. It doesn't necessarily have to mean running,
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: it doesn't have to mean high intensity interval training. There's
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: different ways in which you're gonna do that, or it
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: can kind of play around and find different things, right,
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: So you have to find a different way of doing
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: it that's still going to be beneficial for you. So
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's what I would suggest, is kind of
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: finding those different ways or other other mechanis.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: I like that you're also granting permission to challenge the
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: question of like, hey, you know, you're forcing yourself to
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: take this medicine, but you seem to really not want
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: to do it, man, and like, at some point can
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: we kind of ask why are you forcing that?
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: Like, you're reading self help books because you think that
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: there's gonna be something on the other side of this,
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: or you want to check these off your self care list,
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: and okay, maybe self care was reading sci fi. You know,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: maybe just yeah, zoning out and just being you know whatever.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: It wasn't productive. Not everything has to be, and sometimes
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: there's like this hyper productivity culture, especially in the manisphere,
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: where it's like what did you do today? And like
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: it's David Goggins shit, where it's like what'd you do today?
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: Bitch?
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Oh did you read a book? Was it a self
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: help book? Or was it a fucking space pirate sci fi?
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: And it's like, Jesus Hill the fuck out Royd, Like,
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: you know, like, let's just yes.
• 54:57
  Speaker 4: You said David Goggins. I definitely heard Whilelton Goggins it
• 55:01
  Speaker 4: was very.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: Confused at you that kind of stuff. He runs mile Wow.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: So I like the doors question that because I think
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: a lot of us there there's like especially that kind
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: of vibe. I'm also a big fan of changing the format.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: So like for me, I refuse to read self out
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: books or anything psychology related. My argument is I did
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: a lot of that ship for tests. I'm done, and
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: like I keep up with papers and stuff like, but
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: I micro dose the disinformation when I read that is
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: for me and it is literally sci fi, like that
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: is what I need. But like I will download the
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: occasional like a lot of podcasts or a lot of
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: audible books, and then I kick it up to two speed.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: Or three speed.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: Three is insane, but like two and I'll just like
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: take that and like I'll grab as much information as
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: I can, or I'll do a lot of like articles
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: and I'll use chat gupt and I'll stump it in
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: there and be like summarize this and give me the
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: bullet right. Yeah, I'm learning from it and trying to
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: incorporate it, but not necessarily sitting there turning pages like
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: especially self help books, so much of it is just
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: fucking sawdust. It is just empty fucking fluff. Give little
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: message that you need to get from me. The message
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: is work really hard and forgive yourself sometimes now here's
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: ten stories of people doing this. Yes, really, it's like
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like you could reduce the whole thing
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: to the table of contents and just be fine with that.
• 56:31
  Speaker 4: And most self help books, by the way they're laid
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: out like they could be a pamphlet, Yes they are
• 56:37
  Speaker 4: the epitome of this could have been an email.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: Yes often. And I love AI because I now do that.
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: Like every time there's like a famous like self help book,
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: I just tell the it checks out, summarize this, give
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: me the bullets for each major point, give me the takeaways.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: That's all I want.
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: That's awesome. My go two thoughts behind this where if
• 56:55
  Speaker 5: you really try to incorporate a new habit that you
• 56:59
  Speaker 5: don't like, I think this is probably from atomic habit.
• 57:01
  Speaker 5: Speaking of celf phal books is like stacking it with
• 57:05
  Speaker 5: something you do like. So like with the reading, I
• 57:10
  Speaker 5: would say, if you're reading every night anyway, you know,
• 57:14
  Speaker 5: people normally say, like read ten pages. And if you're
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: just trying to get through a book like ten pages,
• 57:19
  Speaker 5: most of us could probably like get through ten pages.
• 57:21
  Speaker 5: If you're already reader, that would be like a breeze.
• 57:24
  Speaker 5: So like you go to lay down at night. Just
• 57:26
  Speaker 5: read ten pages of the book that you like have
• 57:29
  Speaker 5: to read, and then go read your Like your reward
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: is the sci fi fantasy act there you get to
• 57:34
  Speaker 5: read the Bible?
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: Now, Ah, do that the ultimate reward?
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: Okay? So I love that idea. And what I've noticed
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: for myself as far as reading, because I always once
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: I get into it, I typically enjoy it. It's just
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: it's hard for me to get motivated to do it.
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: But I've noticed I can't read in bed. I will
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: read two sentences and I'm asleep, Like I just I'm
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: with you. When I lay down in bed, I am asleep.
• 58:01
  Speaker 5: Do you have like a reading nook reading corner? No?
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: Actually, what has helped me a lot is like if
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: I want to read, I plan at night, I'm going
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: to go out. I'm going to have a glass of whiskey.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: I'm going to have a cigar, okay, and I'm gonna
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: go out and I'm gonna read. Oh that sounds lovely,
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: And then it's like and then set yourself up and
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: then like then I could exactly I could read, you know,
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: I could read. I could be out there for a
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: couple of hours.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: Has no idea what Kavasier is no.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: I assume it's some kind of velvet fabric of some kind.
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: It was a band.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: I believe it was a comedian on nineties.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's what the ladies man always drank, is what
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: it is, the ladies man. I'm just sitting here with
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: my laugh of Kavasier.
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: The stretching is harder, gosh, because you're right Jimmy started
• 58:53
  Speaker 5: off like the physical fitness stuff like how do you
• 58:56
  Speaker 5: just get started? And it sounds like they kind of
• 59:01
  Speaker 5: put in like a specific goal of one hour a week,
• 59:04
  Speaker 5: but again, you got to tie that to something else
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: if you're again I guess if you're meditating, like could
• 59:09
  Speaker 5: it does it have to be like when you're at
• 59:11
  Speaker 5: the gym before you work out, or can it be
• 59:13
  Speaker 5: just like in the evenings while you watch a show
• 59:16
  Speaker 5: or I don't know.
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: I mean that's the nice thing about stretching is like
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: it doesn't have.
• 59:19
  Speaker 5: To be Yeah, you told me, like what's what?
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: But I kind of agree with your point earlier that
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: you almost need that accountability if it can be done,
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: because I realized not everything is just throwing money at
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: it and make it better, like but a personal accountability
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: partner or something that you're doing this with.
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: There was actually a couple places. I know, there's a
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: couple of places in Vegas where it's like a gym membership,
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: except all it is stretching.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: Oh I've seen, I've seen, and they stretch you. It's
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: it's like a physical training.
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: I would I've actually considered doing that myself because my
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: hips are incredibly tight and.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: Gym I love except don't lie.
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: So yeah, so this is a very relatable thing writer,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: and you know, I definitely just want to normalize it.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, I love this advice of
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: just personal accountability by attaching yourself to obligations I think
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: goes a long way, and also what Nick said about
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: like okay, but also allowing yourself to challenge some of
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: these responsibilities. Do you have to Yeah, yeah, because I
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: think a lot of times we just get sucked into
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: like the social media sphere and it just says, no,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: this is what you need to do, and then you
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: feel shame and guilt when you're not doing it. And
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: a lot of times I'm like, you know, what, did
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: fuck that?
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And you're doing other things that sound great, You're
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: going to the gym, you're meditating. That's pretty good.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, do it do it a poorly too much?
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, and stretch you'll be fine.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: Stretch it out, you'll be fine.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: Or you can get to where you really like I
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: really enjoy the stretching. Do you stretching?
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: Are you a stretcher?
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: I am stretch like I will stretch, I will, I
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 4: will like uh in the evenings when I'm winding down
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 4: for the night, like I'll just I'll just stretch and
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 4: kind of get the day out of me a little
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 4: bit like that.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: And it's it's really low.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: It does feel great when you get into it. You're
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: always like, this is the best. Yeah, just this was lovely.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: Do you like listen to music or like the TV
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: maybe listen to music or whatever.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 4: Okay, but I usually just do it in the living
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: room and just kind of as the night is winding down,
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 4: maybe I'm getting ready for bed, or maybe I'm gonna
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 4: sit down and like watch a show with the wife
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 4: or something.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: But like whatever it is, like I do like fifteen
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: twenty minutes.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: You have a little bit of a routine or is
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: it just kind of whatever I'm feeling.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 4: It's a little bit of a routine, but it's kind
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 4: of just developed and you know, little stretches that I've
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 4: picked up from different physical therapists over the years for
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 4: different little things that bother me here and there and.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: Move you know that kind of thing.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: God, physical therapists out they really know that shit. Yeah,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: that was an area that was so ignorant about and
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: then eventually discovered how much they know. And I remember
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: somebody had this advice on the internet. It was like,
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: just schedule an appointment with a physical therapist and just
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: ask for homework, ask for exercises, like give them a
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: basic understanding of where you struggle. They have so much
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: that you just think like, wouldn't that just be on
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: lines Like No, they will show you how to.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 4: Do literally, Like I'll talk to a physical therapist and
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 4: I'll be like, this part of my back hurts. I
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 4: usually do this stretch for the kind of that area
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 4: of my back and that doesn't seem to be helping.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 4: And they'll be like, oh no, no, don't do that,
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 4: do this, and they'll just show me a completely different
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 4: move and I'll go like oh and I'll try it,
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 4: but holy shit, that just works.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that just did it.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 5: They know what they're doing.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: Oh it's amazing.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: All this talk of stretching is really getting me achy
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: right now. Stretch kind of get it out there.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, we have one of those inversion tables and
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: the show. I love that.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 4: I'll try to spend a couple of minutes a day
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 4: just like hanging there ups anyhow, like literally like.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: A minute or two.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it just stretches my back out and it
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 4: just elongates my spine a little bit.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. We also have trapezes at work, so I can
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: go hang for the trap. That's exciting.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: I always forget you work at that weird sex place,
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: and it's just you know, there's a lot of useful ship.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: I mean they call it a sex swing, but I
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: call it a trapez Yeah.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, I had the beat because I trapped people
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: in it with ease, with ease anyway, writer, good luck,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: hopefully we gave you some feedback on it. We are
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: going to take a quick break and when we come.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: Back, get there. They ride donkeys.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 4: There.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: It is we're going to talk about, is working to
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: overcome certain fears even worth it. You're listening to pod Therapy.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 3: Today's episode is brought to you Vice Mason, Miller, Test Miller, Piler, T,
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: Paris t Monico, Oscar Swanros Hannah, Marie, Emma Kine and
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: Myra and if you would like to sponnor the show,
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 3: become a therap producer Patreon dot.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: Com slash they all right, since the last break, I
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 4: have read this AI document that describes all of clueless.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, good, that's all.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to go.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: You're ready to go?
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: Now AI document that I got this s all right?
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: Uh let's see here what phrase to share? Yous when
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: she disagrees with someone.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: Go fund yourself in the ad. That's what it was.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: That was. I think that's what Obviously, you shut the
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: hell up. Nobody wants your opinion.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 5: You know this, Jacob?
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: Is she as if? Did she say as if?
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: She does?
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: Like you got this one?
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 3: Wow?
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: I like genuinely tried to steal.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 5: Then you deserve that.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: Shark with blood water, soft ballants.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: And Jacob takes the lead. Yeah, god damn it.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: All right, Whitney, what subject is Scher's father a lawyer in.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, wow, I know he's really rich.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. He has her help with highlighting phone calls.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 5: Okay, I need options as if.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: Criminal defense, environmental law, litigation, corporate law.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 4: Least answer answers yeah, lower one or lawyer to Apparently
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 4: they did not have a writing intern available to flesh
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 4: out the dad's career a little bit.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: I feel, I mean, it kind of makes sense. I
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 3: just watched I just watched the movie today, so like
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 3: it makes sense given a lot of their conversations and
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: then her behavior in school, negotiating her grades and all
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 3: of that, and so there's like, ah, yeah, okay.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 5: Yes, not it's not environmental, it's the other ones where
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 5: criminal litigation.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 3: And what corporate law?
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 5: Oh litigation?
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: Correct? Is it at all litigation? Okay? So I just
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: went to.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 3: Like, it's more of a thing.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: I'm not making fun of you. I'm making fun of
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: the question.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: I get it, I get it.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: I can.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm tied with Jacob.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: And I'm still zero.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: Oh I didn't get a question this round.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 3: No you haven't. Okay, what does Tie call share after
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 3: they're falling out at the mall?
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: Cutlet that's a good gues that's it?
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: A cut wallet, A a snob, B A virgin? Oh see,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 3: a selfish brat or d a fashion disaster.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: Oh damn it. It's probably the virgin thing, because then
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: doesn't she fuck her brother or something?
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, give me virgin.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 3: I don't want to give away that.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 5: I don't give anything else away.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: After thirty years, they can all go fuck themselves. Give
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: me virgin.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: Correct.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, then her brother who is a man, stepbrother?
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: Idiot?
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: Okay, so Paul Rud played there.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: Because they mentioned that, Paul Ruddy. I wonder how often
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: that happens. How often.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: Have sex? No, but like like actually in a relationship,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: not just have sex, but like a stepbrother because they
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: were step siblings for sounds like a short period of time.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: Have you never heard of porn hub? Because I feel
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: like you've never heard of pornhub? Because what Okay, Yeah,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: I need to show you some things because it's actually
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: very common. It turns out that's almost all that's happening.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 5: They're obviously reship.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: I don't even think existed.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: I think it's always at person.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: I mean a lot of this is algorithms, so it
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: kind of depends on what you know. It can't possibly
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: be true, not at all, trust me, bro, it's all
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: a will be and wacks just.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: Officationations.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really getting dirty out there, So I got
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: a point for that, right, So I have one and
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: it's two to two.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: All right. Fuck, I'm gonna what it's worth?
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: All right?
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: I emailed you all this question, by the way, is
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: working to overcome certain fears even worth it?
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: Hello?
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: First of all, thank you for the pod. I look
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: forward to listening every week and have been for a year.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: I heard the call for questions, and we'll try to
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: make this one short and sweet. I live in a
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: flat landlocked state and I am very afraid of both
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: heights and fish. Yes, fish, I would say it's a
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: pretty big spellfish specifically terrified. I would say it's a
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: pretty big fear, but never impacts my day to day
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: because of where I live. However, I would love to
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: be able to experience the same fun things others are.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: I missed out on snorkeling and paragliding on my last
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: vacation due to it, and I will not swim in
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: natural water or do things like roller coasters. I do
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: wish I could do these things, but being but doing
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: it only comes up, Being that it only comes up
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: once a year, is it worth it to even go
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: through the process of overcoming it? If so, what is
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: the best way for me to get past these fears.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: I know exposure therapy is a thing, but I would
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: really feel silly going through therapy for fears that don't
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: come up in my life very often. Thanks for your
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: advice and the show, Signed Landlocked Lady.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, did I completely understand this? Ladies of Fish has
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 3: kept her off roller coasters.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: No, there's several things. So she won't swim in natural.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, very tall fish.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: I don't want to ride very tall fish.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: That if giraffe and fish ever have babies together. Yeah yeah,
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: yeah's this listener is going to be just.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: Are the scariest possible thing to her?
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, heids and fish like most flat landers.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: You know, how did you overcome your fears?
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: So that's what's really interesting is like kind of I
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: was kind of afraid of heights. I don't think I
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: had anything to do with living in Iowa, but like
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 3: going I remember in boy Scouts we would go rock
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 3: climbing and stuff like that, and I feel like I
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 3: kind of got over it. Like it, I had a
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: fear of it, but it didn't stop me necessarily from
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 3: doing things. I would just kind of work through it,
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 3: you know, But I still the thing that still bothers
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: me to this day is like if I go to
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: Allegiant Stadium and I go right up to the very top,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: looking down, never bothers me.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: Oh really, oh my god, I give it bothers me.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 3: Looking up is very scary.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: Because of your shame toward God. He's watching makes a
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: lot of sense. It's something Lutheran guilt.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: You know what it is is It's like looking down,
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: I can see what's down there, like I know some
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: place high, I know I am safe. I can see
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 3: the railing and see all this stuff. But when I
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 3: look up any place, okay, any place where I'm near
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 3: a ledge, it's like looking up now because I can't
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: visually see the danger. So I've lost track of.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 5: The aainst a window.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 3: How do you do exactly like that?
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: Can you go up?
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: I've forgotten I haven't.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 5: There's been a guy out there staring at I'm looking
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 5: at you.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: Why you masturbate?
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: We all know.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 3: Ladders don't bother me so much. But again, like if
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 3: I'm climbing a ladder and I'm looking down, I'm fine.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 3: But if I'm climbing a ladder and I look up,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 3: then that bothers me.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: All right, so heaven if you had to overcome a
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: fear like you got. And I appreciate what the under
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: singer because I kind of agree, like there's some shit
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: in my life that have cided. Yes, that's going to
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: perpetually be a problem, but it's so rarely matters. I
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: will swim with the dolphins.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: I do, haven't.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: I've been in the ocean.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 5: He avoided getting on a plane that he did a
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 5: steak ation. Yeah, without staying it out.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: There were good reasons for this.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 4: I'm not getting closer to the forty before for I
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 4: guess technically I did a staycation this afternoon.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, people go on stak ass. Have any of you
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: overcome some kind of like, you know, stubborn fear that
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: you know? In this case, it's like okay, But it
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: wasn't something I had to face all the time. But
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: at some point it just annoyed me enough that I
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: was like, all right, you know, I'm gonna overcome this.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 5: I mean, my go to is usually flying, like I
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 5: had a hole. I think I've said this before. I
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 5: had a whole moment when I was like a senior
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 5: in high school where I took a short flight but
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 5: all of a sudden, it was just like an overwhelming
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 5: fear came out of nowhere. I've flown since I as
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 5: a child, that like I had done it, never thought
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 5: a thing about it, just something felt different and I
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 5: was like hyperventilating. Somehow made it home. I don't know,
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: I guess I flew back home. But after that, like
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 5: I missed one of my cousins wedding. She bought me
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 5: a plane tick. I did not go wow, okay, and
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 5: I made other reasons that weren't like just excuses, but
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 5: like they were mostly excuses to not not get on
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 5: a plane again for some time after that, for probably
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 5: like a year or two. But I think there was
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 5: a point where I was like, am I gonna let
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 5: this stop me from like flying overseas or seeing like
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 5: I don't know, just new cultures all of that. And
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 5: then it was scary the first time I flew overseas,
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 5: like that's a whole weird mental you know, there's just
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 5: a nocean there. Great, and then you realize it doesn't matter.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 5: Once you're in there for like two hours, You're like
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 5: it's fine. But I don't know. I think in those
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 5: moments it was definitely like putting yourself in those situations
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 5: using calming techniques like just deep thinking, different thoughts, like
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 5: all of that does help until finally your body just
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 5: exhausts itself. It can't stay in a state of anxiety
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 5: for forever. Yeah, it just stops. You know, it might
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 5: restart again after some time, but it kind of does.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 3: I mean I also had a fear of flying, and
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: I like my parents like they would use that to
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: like manipulate me into good behavior because it would be
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 3: like like like if I if I was not acting
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: out there, just like all right, we're gonna get on
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 3: a plane. We're gonna go. And they'd like d.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: No, no, no no, and it's like final, do whatever.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 3: I'll do whatever you want. I want to go to doll,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 3: don't get me on a plane. Some part of that
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 3: was because, like I remember at a very young age
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 3: watching la bamba.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: Also like.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: To get ruined by LaBamba take action.
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 3: But I mean I also grew up twenty minutes from
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 3: this sight of the crash.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: And they left all the bodies there.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 3: I should do the bomb trivia anyway. Yeah, I could
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 3: do a whole trivia just on that crash anyway. But yeah,
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 3: so like I had a big fear of that. I
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 3: think what worked out for me and everybody is different,
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 3: Like for for you Whitney, it was kind of like
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 3: just nowhere.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 5: For me, it was like rationalizing, Yeah, like planes are
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 5: safer than like cars. Number one.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: And the other thing too, is like understanding that like
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 3: any kind of bump or anything that would happen would
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 3: just cause me anxiety. Yeah you know, but then just
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 3: watch the flight attendant. I do that too, Yeah, because
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 3: like look crashing, They're not going to be like, oh
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 3: it's cool, like they're going to be anybody else, right,
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 3: But there the experts on that plane, Like that's what
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 3: they do for eight, nine, ten hours a day, every
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: single day, you know. And so like if they're just
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 3: walking around no big deal, then that's an indicator to
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 3: me of how my behavior should also be.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 2: I it.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah. The other thing too that I remember, I remember
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 3: a trip to Costa Rica where I don't know how
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 3: I thought of this, but like we were we rented
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: a car and we were driving around Costa Rica and
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 3: like every single bump in the road, like it was
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 3: just a really bumpy road in this car had no
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 3: shocks or whatever. And then I remember on the flight back,
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 3: thinking like, this flight is so much smoother, yeah, than
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 3: the road we were just driving on. And then I
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 3: started thinking about it, like almost every flight I'm on
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 3: is smoother than every road I drive off, right, you know.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 3: It's like and when you think about it that way,
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 3: it's like, oh, so, why are all these little bumps
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 3: on a plane causing me anxiety when these bumps in
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 3: a car don't. Yeah, And I don't know. So for me,
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: it's a lot of rationalization.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: I think it's a really tricky thing to slice through because,
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: like for me, one of my big fears, surprising nobody
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: was yeah, yeah, but them, I'm still yeah, those two
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: throw that in there. I don't like them at all,
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: though I have killed.
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 2: Them literally anything that's not in this room.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, No, Honestly, Jacob's kind of things in the
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: room too, I'm really uncomfortable with. Mine was swallowing medication.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I'm not afraid of it, but I'm bad
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 2: at it.
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: I was very afraid. So like I I actually do
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: to this day, I actually have a very real phobia
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: of choking. So as much as we joked about auto
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: erotic affiliation porn, which I do enjoy as much as
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: the next person. I can't pronounce it.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 2: That's outer things that I can't pronounce.
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: So, like I I choked on several things as a
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: child and had some really close calls you welcome, Yeah,
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: there it is, uh and so like it was scary stuff,
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: and so I was old enough to like really traumatized
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: by it. There it is and uh. So later when
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: it was like, okay, you need medicine. As a kid,
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: I would take the chewables, right, so, I'm would give
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: you the liquid one, the alligator thing, or give you
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: the chewbles right. Well, then when I got old enough,
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: it was like, hey, when you need it, when you
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: had a headache or something was going on, you were
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: offered the liquid caps or the yeah, you got to
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: swallow the actual pill. And I could not do it.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: Oh it was tough, man. I'd have this like physical
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: reaction where like my throat would close because yeah, I
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: mean I'm scared, obviously traumatic reaction. So it was one
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: of these things where it was like I thought, you
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: know what, fuck this, I could probably just like the writer,
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: I could probably go the rest of my life and
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: just occasionally this will be a bad afternoon, but I'll
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: always be able to go and find a children's version
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: of this medicine and take extra dose of it or
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: a chewable or something.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 3: And like suppositories.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: Of course I was fine with that, and I preferred that, Yeah,
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: I would. I tried to take all the things.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: It was much faster.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: It is faster acting, so it was really really and
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: I remember my older cousin had to help me at this.
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: We were at an airport back before nine to eleven.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: So this back when you'd hang out the airport, like
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: to drop off family members and stuff. So you get
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: there two hours early and somebody's just like walk right
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: through security and just hanging out, saying goo by to Grandma.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: And we were there and I said a monster headache,
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: and uh, my aunt gave me whatever, an advil, liquidgel
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: or whatever I need to swallow, and I desperately wanted
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: to feel better, and I was really struggling. I was
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: like I remember, I was like I was a teenager
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: at the time, and I remember like coming to tears
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: because I was like, fuck, this sucks, Like I just
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 1: want to feel better. Everybody can take fucking medicine. Why
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: can I not take medicine? Like this is ridiculous like
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: and my older cousin was there and he was just
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: like really kind, just like coaching me through it, and
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: he's like, all right, buddy, like let's just try to
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: like fill up a whole fucking cup of water and
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: just like throw this pill in there and just start
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: chugging the fuck out of this wall and just like
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: don't even try to detect the pill. Just guzzled, right,
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: And so like ultimately I failed that multiple times somehow, but.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 4: I putting the pills in the water and then just
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 4: sinking to the bottom and then chugging the entire cup
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 4: of water.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: That's what happened, and they just stick to the bottom
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 1: of the Eventually they would just hit my lips because
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: my lips would like purse, Like really, I just like
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: sit there like trying. Yeah, exactly. You couldn't get a
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: pee through that bitch. Yeah, But eventually this happened. So
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: writer like, for me, there's there's a part of me
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: that says, you've got to learn to challenge these things
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: even though they are intermittent. But then there's another part
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: of me that says, I don't know about this culture,
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: that says everything needs to be challenges because you just
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: like it. I don't like to ride roller coasters. When
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: I was a kid, I just liked it because I
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: was fearful of them. Then I rode plenty of them,
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: and I went through a phase, as you know a
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: young person in middle school. In high school, I was like, oh,
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: thing over. And then became an adult and I was like,
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: this fucking sucks. Like I always a headache on these
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: things I heard, I get inner ear problems, like a
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: fuck this, I'm good. I will have a better time
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: not writing this ship.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 3: Okay, So when it comes to roller coasters, because I
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 3: did have a fear for roller coasters, I would not
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 3: get on a roller coaster. Even through high school. I
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 3: didn't like.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 4: It.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 3: Wasn't until college that I finally did. And what worked
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 3: for me again is like no, learning to swallow pills,
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 3: that's what worked. No, But what worked for me is
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 3: just imagining that I'm in control of it. Okay, If
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 3: I just imagine that I'm driving this roller coaster, then
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 3: it was fucking amazing. Like I had a black n
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 3: roller coasters because.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: Because honestly, because yeah, that's what it is.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: I just see him in the front wearing a little
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: Napoleon hat and he's like to the right.
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 3: I mean I remember Imber. I remember making this joke
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 3: when I was in college, just like with my fear
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 3: of planes, Like if if the pilot came on and
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 3: it's like, hey, sorry, this plane is going to crash,
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 3: that would be devastating for me. But if they just said, like, so,
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 3: we're just gonna let Nick fly it until it's done,
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 3: I'd be fine with it. Interest like, if it's going
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 3: to crash, let me be the one to do it. Okay,
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: I see, because it's the lack of control, Like if
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 3: I have control of it, then it's like Okay, then
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 3: I feel like, yeah, even though I've got zero flight
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 3: experience whatsoever, I feel like I can do a better job.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 5: Nick, you're not into like the roller coasters in the dark, Like,
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 5: isn't that.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: Mountain space mountain fucking sock.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 3: I don't think I've ever done a roller idiot, dude,
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 3: there's it's the worst a.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 5: I love it. That's my favorite thing about roller coaster
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 5: and like anything like I'm not in control.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I don't think I like them with Nick
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: on this, that thing's garbage. I hate roller coaster, especially
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: not knowing where the fu you're going, that's dumb. There's
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: one in Texas that goes backwards.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 5: Stream or something or scream does that too?
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it sucked terrible, take me back. So my point there,
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: writer is that not everything needs to be challenged merely
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: because you find yourself phobic of it or scared of it,
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: and like, I don't know, Like to me, it's like
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 1: fox theciety. What people say is entertaining ire out.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 2: Things like swallowing a pill is something that you need
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: to figure out. I'll tell you what.
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 4: Like I have a i have a terrible gag reflex.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 4: I'm a very sensitive gag reflex. Like getting X rays
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 4: at the dentist that sets them off. Yeah, yeah, and
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 4: the dentist actually helped.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 2: Me fix it. One.
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 3: You brush your teeth.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 2: When I brush my teeth is.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 4: Fine, but like the big, the big plate thing that
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 4: they have to start stuff in your mouth for X rays.
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 4: That's and then like a big pill like that, I
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 4: have hard time swallowing, big.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 3: Time of brushing my teeth. And hear it just like
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 3: she's like, you don't have to stick it back down.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: That's what I say too.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 3: It was like, yes, that's got it.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: Here's the vibrating and she hears you doing it, but
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: you know you're not in the bathroom.
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 2: What's going on? Did you get over it?
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 5: Well?
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 4: Like the dentist, one of my dentists actually helped me
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 4: with that, and she was like, when you're when we're
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 4: putting the thing in your mouth for the X rays,
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 4: and this works for swallowing big pills for me to
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 4: wiggle your toes. Oh, because it just gives you something
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 4: else to concentrate on that is physical that you can
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 4: just do. And now, like even like if I'm in
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 4: my bathroom and have you know a big I think
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 4: you know big, a big vitamin capsule thing. Yeah, every day, yeah,
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 4: and like if sometimes still I have trump, like I'll
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 4: kind of hack it up or something sometimes like and.
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 5: Like what do you do?
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 3: See, I've gotten to the point now where I can
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 3: just swallow pills without any water.
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, small ones, yeah, like an advil or something.
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 3: I don't I mean, I don't prefer to do it. No,
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 3: I don't like to make that.
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 2: I don't seek it out.
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 3: But if I've got a headache or something and I've
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 3: got some ex and I don't have any water, like yeah.
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but Nick's out on the golf course where there's
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 4: no water available except for the pond, or I'll.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 3: Just urinate in my hand. I just need a little bit, like.
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 2: Three times though you have to, and then you have
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 2: to just pee it out. Yeah yeah, yeah you can't.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: You can't just keep doing that.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: I like that of distracting, though I do that with
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: the bottomist Like whenever I get blood drawn, oh stuff,
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 1: I have to like have my like YouTube on like
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: my phone, and they'll be like, okay, so do you
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: need anything, And I'm like, what you need to know
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: is stop talking to me. Just to just do this
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: without any prep. Don't warn me.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 4: When I'm getting blood drawn, I really enjoy watching the
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 4: blood like flow out of me and fill up a
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 4: little while.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: Absolutely I don't think I like that.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 4: But now the writer said something about the fish. So
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 4: I had an experience one the first time I guess
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 4: I went to Hawaii. We were out snorkeling way out
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 4: at sea, like we had gone out to uh I
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 4: forget why we were out there, but we had.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 2: We had gone like well away from the island.
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 4: So we were really out at sea and we were
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 4: snorkeling right over an ocean.
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 2: Land shelf.
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, And so the area that we were in
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 4: it was probably sixty to ninety feet deep somewhere somewhere
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 4: in that neighborhood. But then just over to the side
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 4: of us there was a drop off and just the dark,
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 4: dark darkness down there. And to the writer, I have
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 4: no trouble swimming in open water. I've never had any
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 4: kind of phobia with that. It simply doesn't bother me
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 4: in that water.
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 2: In that moment.
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 4: And looking over that ledge, something in the back part
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 4: of that ancient lizard brain, just your alarm bell started
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 4: going off. Ye, And I was like, this is not
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 4: I'm not at the top of the food chain here, No,
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 4: I am well down the food chain from where I
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 4: am used to being right now, and don't I didn't
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 4: get out.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 5: You know, it wasn't enough away from that ledge.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 4: It wasn't enough to make me change any practice that
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 4: I was doing. Like I was still just doing my
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 4: thing out there and having a nice time. But that
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 4: was I was aware that that alarm bell was going off,
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 4: and I was able to go through it and it
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 4: was fine, but I was very aware and like my
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 4: pulse increased everything, you know, all of the little nervous
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 4: reactions just happened, and then I got much calmer when
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 4: I got out of the water.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 3: That was the survival part of your brain saying, dude,
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 3: you are a Broadway show sound guy.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 1: Have you ever met you? You've been out in like
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: a deep like lake or like the ocean, like you're
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: swimming and then you kind of go a little too
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 1: deep down and you feel that icy water.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, just the cold water, and you're.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 5: Like, oh, oh no, I don't.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 1: Monsters, like I should not be near this.
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 3: That's where your territory, that's where you But I definitely
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 3: agree with that because I remember, like, uh, I went
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 3: to Discovery Cove once in Florida, and that was my
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 3: first time like snorkeling with fish, and it was like,
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 3: I mean, you're in a giant aquarium, like you're not
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 3: out in the open water. But I remember just I
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 3: never really thought much about it, but it was freaky
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 3: just being and like swimming and seeing a school of
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 3: fish come right at you and just go right around you.
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 4: And it was just because they're all these animals, you know,
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 4: out in the ocean especially, they're all of these animals
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 4: that just they literally don't care about you at all.
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 2: You are a zero on their attention meter, Like.
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 5: We were anxiety.
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Like we were in.
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 4: Bermuda for the Scoop cruise years ago and we were
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 4: I was snorkeling out there, and they have this species
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 4: of parrotfish, but parrotfish or a fish that they take
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 4: bites out of the reef. Yeah, and I've read I
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 4: don't know how true this is. I believe there's some
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 4: grain of truth to this. Most of the beaches in
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 4: the world are the result of parrotfish eating coral reef.
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 2: Ye poop. Yeah, it's all just pulverized coral reef.
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, very cool.
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of interesting.
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 4: But I remember we were out there, and so they
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 4: in Bermuda they have this species of parrotfish. Usually they're
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 4: like a few inches long, you know, they're like six
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 4: to eight inches long and not very big at all. Yeah,
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 4: they have them there. They are very very large, very
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 4: flat fish, and they have like a beak they do.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 4: They have like they have a hard beak to break
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 4: off the coral. And like we were swimming around these things,
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 4: and you could tell that they had seen people before
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 4: and just didn't care. Yeah, like as long as you didn't.
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 2: Fuck with them.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and if you did fuck with them, they just
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 4: gave you a dirty look and swam away.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: Because they're going to move eight thousand times faster than you.
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 5: And yeah, who gives you entire that shelf drop off feeling.
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 5: When we were in the Maldives, I had that experience
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 5: because it's like very shallow. You could stand up and
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 5: be high tideed, be like at my chest but low
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 5: tide like my waist, and you'd be like swimming around,
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 5: snorkeling around, and we would see all kinds of wildlife
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 5: swimming around, like a little mini sharks and all kinds
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 5: of stuff. But we like took the snorkel out, like
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 5: not that far, but you're far enough. You're starting to
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 5: get a little nervous. But seeing that shelf, that internal
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 5: dread of like it feels like a ledge you're going
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 5: to drop off, like I'll just sink.
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 4: For some reason, That's what I felt like, because definitely
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 4: what I picture was something coming out of it.
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 2: See I didn't, I didn't bother me to be over
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 2: then when.
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 3: You talked about it, what what Whitney's talking about is
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 3: what I thought.
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 4: I definitely pictured like a mountain like that, I definitely
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 4: just picture a an animal that is much much bigger
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 4: than anything that I'm saying coming out of that gulf.
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: Also, can we just take.
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 3: A minute to appreciate the way that Whitney just had
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 3: to one up me.
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 5: I did. I know you're going to call sto.
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 3: Very similar experience.
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 5: It was a very I also did not necessary you know,
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 5: it was very scary.
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 2: I've never been to Discovery. When I was in the
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 2: mall was nice.
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: I had a very similar experience to nicket wet and wild.
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 1: I was in the French ra.
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 5: I actually had a funny story to tie that because
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 5: I'm out there in this same moment, I'm like, oh
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 5: my gosh, this is dreadful, like kind of looking over
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 5: this edge. A tiny part of me was almost like
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 5: I want to tickle that fear a little bit, Like
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 5: the fucked up part of me is like I kind
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 5: of want to go swim near it just to like
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 5: see how scared I get, or.
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I want to encounter it. Yeah, So
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: I'm over.
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 5: There doing that and then I kind of like hear
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 5: something from Peter because I'm.
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm just confused. This is in Discovery Cove, the
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 2: mall boots.
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, that it's important to clarify. Cove is
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 1: a nice How expensive was this experience? Because I mean,
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 1: if I'm spending good money, I'm tickling my fear.
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 5: I got a really good COVID.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: You just have to pay extra for this.
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 4: I already felt bad that I had listened off Hawaii
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 4: and Bribina like.
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 5: Jacob's listening ship. No, it was funny to me because this.
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 2: Is too applicable stores.
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 3: Definitely, the McDonald's, the dining.
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 1: Experiences, buddy, I'll always be here to be under you.
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm not trying to compete in this game
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 1: at all. I'm fine with the fact that I'm uncomfortable
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 1: with the public pool. It's a little there, Yeah, the
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 1: hotel pool at like the fucking mod We totally understand
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 1: what you guys are saying. When I was in my
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 1: above ground was a little deep, a little.
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 2: More than Yeah, a lot of water was colder.
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 1: It was you guys are gun underwaters like pressure. You
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 1: guys are felt like that pressure if you dropped like
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: a penny.
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 5: Picking up No, y'all, here's the different minds. Peter and
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 5: I live and then we talked like we're about to
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 5: get in the water to do this snorkeling venture, and
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 5: so we're stepping in. Peter's like, oh yeah, telling me later,
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 5: I had this whole thought process. I need to wear
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 5: red swim shorts just in case, you know, we get
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 5: sucked out to see they'll be able to find me
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 5: and all this stuff. And I'm sitting there listening to.
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 1: How does this work for you?
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 5: I was like, it must be exhausting living in to me.
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 5: He goes it is.
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 2: He's not wrong.
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 1: I not red red's gonnattract sharks.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 4: No, I think red yellow, you go bright yell cartoon
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 4: bulls from Loony Tunes.
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, it was going crazy every time of my knowledge. Yeah, okay.
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 5: So then then the next thing this little ship does.
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 5: I'm over there tickling my fears over this ledge and
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 5: I see, like Peter, I don't know, he's doing something different.
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 5: So I like poke up and he's like, oh, like
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 5: making this sound like what? And I like pull my
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 5: little goggles off to look at him, and he's like
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 5: a shark. I'm swimming back and like what. Then I'm
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 5: terrified And I got back and like I didn't even
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 5: see are you sure you saw a shark. I don't
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 5: even trust you.
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, there was this We're getting well,
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 3: I don't even remember what the questions. There was a
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 3: scar across an Instagram reel of this diver and she
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 3: was talking about what you do if you're swimming and
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 3: you come across a shark and like the way that
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 3: she came across and like explaining, like, don't worry, it's
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 3: really simple.
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 5: All you have to do is like push their nose
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 5: or something.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 2: You just push your head.
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 3: Like that was exactly the first thing I'm gonna do.
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, I have no idea what the second, third,
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 3: or fourth thing.
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 5: Is going to be, but I know what the person
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 5: wants forgive me.
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 4: A lot of confrontations with a lot of different animals
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 4: and people.
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 2: By shooting myself. It works anyway, right, but you're just
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 2: taking yourself.
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 3: Not all fears need to be challenged, right, and your
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 3: pants gets you out of a lot of issues.
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 1: It ends a lot of conversations.
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 3: Pick up the bill.
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're done right there, guess. Not the worst experience
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 1: of Denny's ever, not the worst, just a regular Saturday
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: at the waffle house. It depends on much part of
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 1: the country you're in.
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 3: Sometimes No.
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 5: My opinion was they said they didn't want to spend
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 5: like money and time on exposure therapy, but you can
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 5: kind of do that.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 1: I don't need to hire a therapist for this. You
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 1: need to get a best friending.
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 4: I mean, it sounds like, honestly right, it sounds like
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 4: it's bothering you. So I would work on it because
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 4: it's bothering you. I wouldn't work on it because it's
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 4: a practical need. You don't have a need to go
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 4: out and swim in the ocean where swallowing pills was.
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 3: If there's anything, if there's anything you could do, one
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 3: of the things you could do is research grounding techniques.
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 3: Look up some grounding techniques and start practicing those. And
• 1:35:54
  Speaker 3: when you start to notice your anxiety levels start to
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 3: go up, practice a technique. Then let it go down
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 3: and learn to get control over your anxiety levels.
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 2: Right like be able to situation. Yeah, let it go
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 2: up to a five and.
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 3: Feel comfortable with a five, knowing that you're confident that
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 3: you can bring it back down to a two, and
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 3: just keep practicing that. And then now all of a sudden,
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 3: a six is no longer as scary as it used to.
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 2: Be, right.
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And the thing about roller coasters or some of
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 1: these like abrupt experiences is like, obviously a lot of
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 1: the pain and suffering is like beforehand with the anticipation,
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 1: but then when you're done, there's the sense of like, Okay,
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 1: I overcame, I did it. It's done, I ripped the
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 1: band aid off. How do I feel afterward? And taking
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 1: that personal inventory, checking in with yourself and asking where
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: am I at? That's where I landed with Okay, I
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 1: did it. I've proven I can do it.
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 2: I don't like it.
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: Fuck it, I don't I'm not going to do it again.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 1: I just don't care. Like okay, I have nothing to
• 1:36:46
  Speaker 1: do to anybody. I just don't want to do it.
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 3: My mom's a great example of this. Absolutely has a
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 3: terrible fear of flying. Also does not like to drive
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 3: at night, also does not like to drive during the day.
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 2: Okay, so like it also does like.
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 3: It's like, is she going to come down to visit? No,
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 3: and she seems perfectly fine with it.
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, away for you.
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 4: My dad. My dad is very afraid of heights, and
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 4: it has gotten worse as he has gotten older.
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 3: Ye, get worse probably, so that makes sense.
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 4: But like like he can he lives in a in
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 4: a condo and so he has a little balcony on
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 4: his condo and he can stand on the balcony perfectly.
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 2: Fine. You know, it's a couple of stories up, no
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 2: big deal.
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 4: But like a few years ago, he and his wife
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 4: were here and we were down at Hoover Dam and
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 4: his wife wanted to walk across the bridge and look
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 4: at Hoover Dam from the bridge, and my dad took
• 1:37:40
  Speaker 4: a few steps out onto the bridge, which is a
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 4: wonderful walkway with a very wide it's very wide, and
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 4: there's a guard rail like a solid wall next to
• 1:37:49
  Speaker 4: you that is I mean, it's close to like chest height.
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 2: It's probably like five feet.
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 1: You're not accident.
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 3: It would be hard to get over it, and.
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 4: You would have to climb over it actively to get
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 4: Like it's built for the cars going back and forth
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 4: across this bridge to be able to run into and
• 1:38:07
  Speaker 4: not you know, fall off into the castle.
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 5: See it.
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: You've got to lift that kid up exactly.
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and yeah, Like he got out like twenty feet
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 4: onto the bridge and he was like, you know what,
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 4: fuck this, you guys, go on out take your pictures.
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 2: Do do whatever you want to do, right, I'm going
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 2: to be right here. Yep, see you when you get back.
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 2: I love that. And and you know, he's just decided.
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 2: I am good.
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 4: The times in my life that I am high up
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 4: enough on a thing that this bothers me, I can
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 4: avoid most, if not all, of those things.
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I'm an older man. I'm doing my thing.
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 2: I'm fine, I'm fine.
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 3: I'm with him on it.
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 4: And so like a writer, honestly, if you feel like
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 4: you can just get through it and get through the
• 1:38:48
  Speaker 4: rest of your life and just be like, I'm not
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 4: going to swim in the ocean, I'm going to be
• 1:38:51
  Speaker 4: a person who doesn't swim in the ocean.
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 2: Cool.
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you feel like that's okay, Cool.
• 1:38:56
  Speaker 4: If it bothers you and you're you're thinking about it
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 4: all the time, even though you're not trying to swim
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 4: with the old all the time, then maybe work on
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 4: it a little bit.
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 3: I feel like our advice for all three questions has
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 3: been to tell the person it's not really a problem.
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you're fine, you don't need any you're.
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: Over thinking it, don't worry about it.
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 2: Problems we have to move out tomorrow.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, real shit.
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But I like this argument that you don't have
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 1: to preemptively go out and expose yourself to all these
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 1: things so that one day you can enjoy it fluidly.
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 1: I think that the day will come whenever you confront this,
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 1: and it might be on a vacation and you're like,
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 1: oh wow, I haven't gone to the beach in seven years,
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: but like today's the day I'm here and now I
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. It's like great first day of a vacation.
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 1: I know what you're going to do, and I have
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 1: to wait out in the water and like deal with
• 1:39:39
  Speaker 1: it now. So that's the right way to do it.
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 1: But anyway, writer, good question. Thank you for sending this in,
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 1: especially on a slow news night where we put out
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: the call if you're wondering what this writer's talking about
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 1: when they say like, hey, I heard you all need questions.
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 1: We have a very active relationship with our discord friends,
• 1:39:55
  Speaker 1: everybody that supports us at patreon dot com, slash therapy.
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 1: We talk all the yeah, except for taking we talk
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 1: to them all the time. We share photos of our
• 1:40:03
  Speaker 1: pets with them and tell about our adventures, constantly sharing
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: inside jokes and just like a lot of fun banter
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 1: discussion on the questions. We're getting a lots of feedback,
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 1: and there's currently a discussion of creating a happy hour
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 1: on there and enjoying some of the fun games that
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 1: are actually built into discording, to play poker on there
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 1: and the culture cool stuff. So yeah, I mean again,
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 1: Patreon dot com slash therapy. I know, we pitch it
• 1:40:25
  Speaker 1: all the time and if you're a.
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 4: Patreon you get free access to that that discord conversation
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 4: and I joke about not being on there when I
• 1:40:31
  Speaker 4: am on there. It is delightful, great, It is so
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 4: great every time. The interactions are always so great.
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 2: People tag me and things and so I get notifications.
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 1: I guess what's going on with this going on with them?
• 1:40:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so great.
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 4: It's worth being a Patreon number just to have access
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 4: to that discord.
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 2: And there's a weird amount of of stuff that's kind
• 1:40:52
  Speaker 2: of useful.
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah discord as well, like if you have an issue
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 4: with something, you just type something.
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 2: Good and yes, different people and give you feedback. Hey
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 2: here's what you're can do.
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 1: It's awesome. We had a student.
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 2: It could be anything.
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well we have student. Yeah, that's very helpful.
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 1: We had a student recently that jumped in and said, Hey,
• 1:41:08
  Speaker 1: I need to interview somebody for a class. I have
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 1: a paper to write. It needs to be somebody with
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 1: a diverse background. Can anybody help me out? And so, yep,
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 1: the whole server jumped in and said, great, here's my background,
• 1:41:18
  Speaker 1: here's my background. People from all over the world saying
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 1: here's you know, would this work for you? We got
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 1: this kid paired up with somebody boom, they're writing their essay.
• 1:41:25
  Speaker 1: What a great community. So just love that stuff. Patreon
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: dot com, slash therapy. Come be a part of it.
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 3: Why not?
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 1: Maybe you check on it once a week and you're like, yeah, whatever.
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 1: You know, it's one more area of the Internet that
• 1:41:35
  Speaker 1: I bump into really nice people that like mental health
• 1:41:37
  Speaker 1: stuff and they're very kind and funny and good humored.
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 1: And that's.
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well not intentionally, you know, but it's really funny
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: because I think one of the things that's awesome about
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 1: our community is that we are simultaneously super mental health advocates,
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: super mental health focus, very kind, very encouraging people, and
• 1:41:53
  Speaker 1: also really just like good sense of humor, give each
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 1: other shit, constantly teasing goods, you know, just like everybody's
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 1: on the joke, and that's very hard to find. Like
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 1: usually if you find the mental health people, they're like
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 1: made of glass, you know, and nothing is a joke.
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 1: Everything is fucking serious. And then you find the people
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: that are joking, Oh, you.
• 1:42:10
  Speaker 4: Shouldn't joke about that because so and so and so
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 4: and so and so and so and so and is happening.
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 4: And you go like, yeah, that is, it's all true,
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 4: but fuck you.
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you find the people with a good
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 1: sense of humor and they take it too far and
• 1:42:20
  Speaker 1: they're unkind, and you're just like, god, damn, this sucks.
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 1: It's very hard to find communities, you know, like us,
• 1:42:25
  Speaker 1: like like a ice cream social that really blend those
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 1: things together. So check us out patreon dot com. Slash
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 1: Therapy can be a part of it. You get the
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 1: show ad free a day earlier. You get the extended
• 1:42:33
  Speaker 1: show we always record thirty forty minutes before the show
• 1:42:36
  Speaker 1: that you hear here on the main threads, and you
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 1: just get this pumped right to your regular app that
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 1: you're using right now. You get a little code sent
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 1: your email, you copy paste it into your settings. Boom,
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 1: Now you got that. Now you're getting that every Wednesday.
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 1: It's awesome. You also get access to our deep dives, interviews,
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 1: skill shares, reseharts, and research roundups and rants. I'm doing
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 1: a series right now on artificial intelligence and psychology and
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 1: kind of exploring the present and the future. Sure of
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 1: that as it's related to mental health in ways that
• 1:43:02
  Speaker 1: we might have to interact with this technology and use
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 1: this technology and the wey may displace some of our
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: realities and how that's going to affect mental health.
• 1:43:10
  Speaker 3: Did you have some if you happen to write in
• 1:43:13
  Speaker 3: about pregnancy and we completely dismissed.
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 1: Your question, please let us Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 1: pretty sure we answered that.
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like we did too, but I'm always really working.
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 1: Now your texts make a lot more sense on the
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 1: way here. Your text was confusing me because I thought
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 1: you're asking about the email thread. But now I realize
• 1:43:29
  Speaker 1: you're asking about the link I sent you.
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 2: So that's okay.
• 1:43:31
  Speaker 1: We're on the sand page. It'll all wor get. I'm
• 1:43:34
  Speaker 1: sure that person will still be pregnant next week. We
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 1: could just answer that question again. It'll be sure.
• 1:43:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we'll get a round to it.
• 1:43:41
  Speaker 1: Anyway, We've got some new friends at patroon dot com
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 1: Slash Therapy. Who's new to the party there?
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 3: We got a brand new therapy pod.
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the party, Brandy Campbell.
• 1:43:52
  Speaker 2: Was that the only one that's it?
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 1: We need some support friends page On Thatt comes outs
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 1: therapy every month of the first week of the month.
• 1:43:59
  Speaker 1: We like to think everybody by name that sports therapod
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 1: level and higher. So thank you the dark Lord himself.
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 1: Jim's Fasha University, Jeff Robert Paulson, Linda Brandmeyer, Scoops or Not,
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: Joseph Pengrazio, Corey Owens, Christine Phillips, Gavin Pristout, Bristow, Carrie Terr,
• 1:44:14
  Speaker 1: Hark Kiwi Fruit Scoop, Take It Evy Podcast, James K. Craig, Little,
• 1:44:18
  Speaker 1: Don Door, Jim Hunter, Scoopatron, Todd Canfield, Felicia Butler, David Sorensen,
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 1: Shayla Bulock, Lauren is O, Katie Chiwakowski, Adam Petanouzo, Matt's Lenegren,
• 1:44:27
  Speaker 1: Lee Popsicle, Scoop itter Is sending Ian Soto, That Josh
• 1:44:30
  Speaker 1: Guy Mom and Ninja Scoop, James Dawson, Sarah Olow, Grumpy Lake,
• 1:44:34
  Speaker 1: Mead Park Ranger, Sam Buck, Karen McCulloch, What Weekend, Lila
• 1:44:38
  Speaker 1: be Gay, do Crimes, Kelly Gagner, Nippy, Brian Emra, Matthew Johnson,
• 1:44:43
  Speaker 1: Alec Lancaster, j D Congan, Julius Kappel, Stacey A literal Pickle,
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 1: Matthias vander Brandt, Ken Tinsley, protect and Scoop Smells Funny,
• 1:44:50
  Speaker 1: Matthew Cubick, Duffy The Slowly Getting Their Therapist Bear, Joel McMillan,
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 1: Chad Chad, the Safety lad Walker, Fluke, Kirka Grim, Philip Guiten,
• 1:44:58
  Speaker 1: Tim Mystery Almost Doctor Nurse Joey, Melissa l. Geisler, Christopher
• 1:45:02
  Speaker 1: de Gercy, Tricia Ortiz, Kirsten Johnson, Frey A Lawson.
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 2: D J.
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 1: Sewart, Mississippi Hippie List Scott A, Paddy glad Fife, Anthony Camarado,
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: Heather w Kyle, David Williams. Williams nailed it, Kate Police, Trontastic,
• 1:45:17
  Speaker 1: Buddy Dobbins, Eric Dibert, D Dyer nailed it, Curnel, Pillar,
• 1:45:21
  Speaker 1: Glitch Scoop, Nathan Mook, Nate nappin, you know what fuck it?
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: Nathan Mooky I like that better, but nuts I believe
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 1: it's mokey Stephen Landon, Aletta Balaize, Kenneth Wong, John Finlayson,
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 1: Mysterious Analyid, Adam bellaz K, Pizzle Dizzle, Robert Cole, Persephonie Hazzard,
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 1: Carmen Perry, k J Mister Pothson's i TM Temporary Reality,
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 1: Jeff Darnell, Jammy B Jacob hurt Ray, J Shark, Silka
• 1:45:45
  Speaker 1: Daniels Recreated What does Scoop Mean? Jacob Billingsley, Alex Jardine,
• 1:45:49
  Speaker 1: Dylan Collopye, I'm gonna go with Colin Oscoby, it feels better,
• 1:45:52
  Speaker 1: wolf E O Five, Chris Courtney, Dale, The King, Cedar Hayden,
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 1: Adam Goff, Jesse Miller, Livy, Kevin try linus Hakausan Terrible Tay, Oh, thanks,
• 1:46:03
  Speaker 1: Terrible Terrible Tay was the student who asked us that question.
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 1: By the way, nice, we're able to pair up Terrible
• 1:46:07
  Speaker 1: Tay with somebody to do the paper on grace Any
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 1: Bitty Chicken Farmer, Yagan Keeley, Sam K Matthew's Chill Food,
• 1:46:15
  Speaker 1: John Coveratas, Zachary W Fish, bum Fish, J. W. Reynolds,
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 1: Michael F. Foxy Sally Cloudy Pies, Ty Evans, Neck Pubes,
• 1:46:23
  Speaker 1: Matthew Connor, John as Winter, Scoop and drag Us City Committee,
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 1: Fun Crapper, and Brandy Campbell.
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So there's a lot of these in here. I
• 1:46:33
  Speaker 3: try to correct them when I find them. Sometimes I
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 3: miss him. But like when I copy and paste it over,
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 3: it doesn't paste over the right letters. Some of them
• 1:46:41
  Speaker 3: have like the copy copy and like it's yeah, it's
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 3: wingdings basically, Yeah, it kind of looks so when you
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 3: hear Jim just break into like digital static, that's what
• 1:46:52
  Speaker 3: it's definitely not because he can't pronounce stuff.
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: Now, It's because.
• 1:46:56
  Speaker 3: I know how to say the time you type out reservoir.
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 1: It's just this comes off really weird on micro Auto
• 1:47:02
  Speaker 1: Chris Microsoft's I can't be expected to pronounce wing.
• 1:47:07
  Speaker 2: Dings, all right.
• 1:47:09
  Speaker 5: We also have our their doctors Ice Blue Scoop, Brian Lahman,
• 1:47:12
  Speaker 5: Andrea Anderson, Lori Elsroth Ci, Shawnagan Scoopy Scoopy, just Ess,
• 1:47:17
  Speaker 5: Okie Scoop, Dank Butta brooks Lyle, Adam Ritchik Lovely Spark,
• 1:47:22
  Speaker 5: Sir Is Just Fine, Jim and Monnu, The Offices of
• 1:47:25
  Speaker 5: Counselor and counselor, Manuel Cavassos A crusty, quithant smug Mochi
• 1:47:32
  Speaker 5: ice Cream, Nora Monico, RTee, Momy Damte, Mike j. Nilsen,
• 1:47:38
  Speaker 5: b B. Hermit I nice.
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 1: And we'd like to think the benevolent Revere Jay, generous
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 1: and flagrantly pro therapy dieheards who love you all so
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 1: much they give till it hurts that their partner's dirty
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 1: bee and picket. They want to especially think our bosses,
• 1:47:53
  Speaker 1: the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati members of the fan Club,
• 1:47:56
  Speaker 1: that they're producers. Thank you, Jake Schneider, rob Or Myra,
• 1:48:00
  Speaker 1: Robert Browni, Junior Mint, Smitty Scoop, Richard Fucking Macy, Judy Schneider, Malia,
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 1: Leon Cassab, Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlin, Tess Miller, Dan Martin,
• 1:48:08
  Speaker 1: Sammy Scoop, Slurpi Kai Motherfucker, Ben Stanley, slapping your face,
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 1: Sarah Smith, Adam Hathaway, Biler t, Mike helm oscar swanros
• 1:48:16
  Speaker 1: Paris A sunny Boy, Darren Cunningham, Lib Sandra mcwoffle Team Monaco,
• 1:48:21
  Speaker 1: Thunder Cougar, Falcon, Scoop Hey Yo, Hannah, Marie Andrew Ling Mead,
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 1: Emma and Tonka and Pony Soprano Alina Cody, The Lorian Guy,
• 1:48:31
  Speaker 1: Brady Malay, Chick Chick, Filatio Gabriel Dame, Sean Sutherland, Max
• 1:48:35
  Speaker 1: the Ginger Scoop, Chad mag and Adam Warren.
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 3: If you'd like to do this episode uncut and unedited
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 3: and enjoy spontaneous side projects, go to pictureon dot com
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 3: slash therapy and thank you for supporting mental health.
• 1:48:47
  Speaker 1: Well that's all the time we got for this week's session.
• 1:48:49
  Speaker 1: If you want to hear some awesome improv comedy from
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 1: our buddy Matt, you can check that out the Bucket Show.
• 1:48:56
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be at the Majestic Repertoire Theatre on July fifth,
• 1:49:01
  Speaker 1: Saturday at eight pm. We want to think for the last.
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 2: Math it's Matt, Paul and UH and a couple of.
• 1:49:09
  Speaker 1: Holy shit. Go check that out. So we have a
• 1:49:11
  Speaker 1: lot of fun show dot com.
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 2: Bucket Show dot com.
• 1:49:14
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 1:49:14
  Speaker 4: No, No, that's that's our You don't have to do anything.
• 1:49:17
  Speaker 4: You just show up Majestic Repertory Theater, eight pm show
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 4: on July the fifth, No tickets necessary. How the Matt
• 1:49:24
  Speaker 4: and Mattingly as well as people from whose line is
• 1:49:27
  Speaker 4: in any way, and Wayne Brady and and all that
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 4: kind of stuff.
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 1: And I'll be there too, ye, So it'll be fun
• 1:49:30
  Speaker 1: to hang out with you. And of course we want
• 1:49:32
  Speaker 1: to think our landlord's been so generous these past eight
• 1:49:35
  Speaker 1: years Matt Mattingley's ice Cream Social Podcast and to those
• 1:49:39
  Speaker 1: of you contributed to our show today, we really do
• 1:49:42
  Speaker 1: appreciate it. Remember, pop therapy isn't something that you should
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 1: keep all to yourself. Share the episode with the world,
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 1: tag us on the socials when you do. It's at
• 1:49:49
  Speaker 1: pot therapy guys on Instagram, threads and Twitter, slash pod
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 1: therapy and Facebook of Blues Guide, and don't forget about
• 1:49:55
  Speaker 1: all the extra coodies at patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:49:58
  Speaker 3: Do you want to submit a question to the s
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 3: know you can ask anonymously pod therapy dot net or
• 1:50:02
  Speaker 3: emails and plot Therapy guys at gmail dot com, or
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 3: click the link in the episode description to be taken
• 1:50:07
  Speaker 3: to our anonymous Google Google form page.
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 1: I'm Nick Tanjamin, I'm Lak, I'm Jim.
• 1:50:13
  Speaker 3: Thanks and good night from Show Creators Studios. Thank you
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 3: Show creators.
• 1:50:22
  Speaker 2: Did I win? I think I won? I won, Siah