Latest / Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald / 2023: My Controversy Noted with Pete Holmes

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2023: My Controversy Noted with Pete Holmes · Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Yo yo, yo yo, YoY.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: The dato.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I raised off a FaceTime with Krista Miller, who called
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: me solely to tell me how much she loved our
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Andy Ramage episode Yay. She said it was incredible and informative.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I wonder if you guys have heard any good vibrations
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: from it. But people really liked it, at least anecdotally.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: My friend liked it.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: It's been very positive out there, people really loving it.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: I would like to see if you guys take the challenge,
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: let us know how it goes. I was a little inspired.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: I went out for my birthday and was like, you
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: know what, I'm going to do some of these non
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: alcoholic drinks and to see what that's not. And they
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: were fine and delicious and I didn't miss drinking, So,
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: you know, might pick up the challenge me do it?
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, give it a try. I guarantee you. The only
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: thing I can tell you is you might not be
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: You might listen to that and go interesting. Not for me,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: But if you just do a month just for just
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: as an experiment, I guarantee you you will feel good
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: on day thirty.
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: Nice, nice little recap of our last couple of episodes, right.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: There, Yes, and Vaginas. Vagina's was popular, right, Joell, Vagina's was.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Very popular, as always, historically very.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Popular, historically very popular. Did you get any good feedback
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: about Vagina's.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Joelle, only that it was hilarious, people spinning up drinks,
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: having to pull over in their car.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: That's when the people were very really, very much.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was like I had to pull over
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: so that I could see because I was laughing so hard.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I love that these are your reviews, ladies and gentlemen.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, please let us know what you like. Donald and
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I don't aren't on Twitter and we barely read Instagram anymore,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: so we need feedback. So give it to Joel and
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Dale who are on every social media and let them know. Right, Yeah,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: we're here for it. Donald, I've been building the land
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Rover Defender Lego structure you gave me. It's amazing. It's
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: coming along for your birthday. Yes, for those of you
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: don't know, it's eighteen plus. It's very hard. I forgot
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: that Legos had age had eight restrictions.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: It's Lego, It's Lego.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Don't get them started leg Lego. That Lego sets had
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: eight restrictions.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I was trying to brag to my assistant that it
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: was kind of hard, and he goes, well, it says
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: in the box eighteen plus, and I'm like, eighteen plus.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's tricky, but I feel like a
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: fifteen year old. Eighteen plus felt a little bit extreme,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Like I think, I don't think there was any reason
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: why fifteen year olds couldn't.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: But then you ran into your first roadblock, and you lie, I've.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Run into so many roadblocks, and you know, it's funny.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: You know what's funny. I don't know if you do
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: this with Lego singular, but you get to a certain
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: point where you look and you realize you fuck something up.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: But it's such a fucking ordeal to take it apart
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: and you just go fuck it. There's this Olivia Ririgo
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: news song where she goes, fuck it, it's fine, And
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I keep thinking when I noticed a fuck up that
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I go fuck it. It's fine. Little things you wouldn't
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: no one's gonna notice.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Daniel. It's like, you have any news you want to.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, Dan, I'll tell the audience it has been
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: a minute since I've seen you, guys, and since then
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I did get married.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Wow, look at that.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Did you consummate the marriage? Dane? Oh, my gentleman doesn't too.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: All right, all right, we'll we'll just infer. It was
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: a Palm Springs hotel and it was very lovely. I'll
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: say that. How many people are invited again? Twenty three?
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Well twenty one, since it was twenty three total people
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: including Stephane. Do you find it odd that Donald and
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Joel and I were not invited?
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Me personally?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: No, me personally, no, he says, it was really lovely.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I it was u Palm Springs traditionally very hot weather,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: and as the weekend approach, we noticed that the weather
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: was dropping and we thought, great, it won't be boiling hot.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: And then the miracle that it was. It rained for
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: the exact twenty minutes of our ceremony, which a lot
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: of people kept saying. I hear, it's good luck. That's
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: what they say. That's going to make you feel better.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: That makes you say that, bingo.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: So it rained, it.
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: Rained during our wedding. Yeah, but we built tints, we were.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: They frantically built tents the day before in my backyard. Wow. Wow, Well,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: thankfully it was just a rain.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, sir, Next time put in for the tent.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: But yeah, and also next time, invite next time, invite
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Donald and us next, next marriage. All this, Yes, I
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: heard some funny thing on. I read some funny thing
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: online where some guy it was the woman's second marriage
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: and the guy and like one of the brothers was like,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: here we are again or something like that. It was
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: like it was like welcome back everyone or something like that, which,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: if you have the balls to do in someone's second marriage,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: is amazing. I highly recommend that that's good. Welcome back everyone.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: That's funny. You have the right person who's not going
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: to be offended by it, though, truly all right. Well,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: in our continuing series on trying to make you laugh
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: and entertain you without talking about the television show Scrubs,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: we have what is.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Wait, hold up, what is that that you just said?
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: That was a show that you're not allowed to talk
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: about yet, But I can mention because I'm in the
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: writers guild that was written and directed in the in
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: the in the in the aughts. Is that what we
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: call him in the it was Ants show.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: It was Ants show.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: A comedian that I really like and think is so
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: funny and is very wise and not only is he hilarious,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: but he's also I think, a deep thinker and says
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: wise things. His name is Pete Holmes, and we are
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: lucky enough to have him on the show. Is he here, Daniel,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: he's here, and we already prepped him for audience. He's
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: going to bring in hold, but.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: I'm not show. We made about a bunch of said
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: he's the story natural. So YadA round here, yeada round.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Here, ladies and gentlemen, go ahead, Donald, give.
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: It up for Pete's your's your that's your thunderous.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Applause, that's your oprah intro of Peen Holmes.
• 6:45
  Speaker 7: I really appreciate I wasn't ready at all. Your team
• 6:48
  Speaker 7: warned me many times that you guys talk a lot.
• 6:51
  Speaker 7: That was number one, and that you're often late.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: And we we're only eight minutes in. You're such a
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: fancy guest that we only went eight minutes of banter
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: because we didn't want to leave A fancy stand up comedian,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: a beloved America's beloved stand up A fancy boy, a
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: fancy boy.
• 7:07
  Speaker 7: Well, I appreciate it, but you jumped right in the
• 7:10
  Speaker 7: middle of backpack browsing, so I'm not quite ready.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Why are you in the market for a backpack? Pete homes?
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 7:18
  Speaker 7: Man, do you find that there's just seasons, there's just
• 7:21
  Speaker 7: like you just like thinks something happens and you're just
• 7:24
  Speaker 7: like your zest your zest is up? Does your zest
• 7:28
  Speaker 7: ever shoot up?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: What does that mean? Like you want to go camping?
• 7:33
  Speaker 8: You're yearning your zeal Zach Take any movie you've made
• 7:38
  Speaker 8: and the character you play the opposite of how the protagonist,
• 7:43
  Speaker 8: so that lopey sort of airstream trailer kind of.
• 7:47
  Speaker 7: Like if they woke up and was like, I feel
• 7:52
  Speaker 7: the opposite and I have zeal and zest and I'm
• 7:54
  Speaker 7: gonna go to a Tony Robbins event and I'm gonna
• 7:57
  Speaker 7: buy a backpack. That's how I feel today.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna tell you something. I went into Arii
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: and Burbank, which if you've never been there is a
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: magical place and it's really the man that I would
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: like to be one day, but I am not. But
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: have you been in there? Donald? It's incredible.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I went out here in Tarzanna.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: All right, listen, I've never been in an RII so big,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: and I'm not a very campy kind of guy. I
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: want to be. I want to be the guy that
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: knows how to make a fire and cook on an
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: open flame and camping in my kayak. But you walk
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: into ari I, Petere.
• 8:28
  Speaker 7: Holmes, why real quick? Why go on?
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I just got they got backpacks.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: You should look it's going online, Pete Holmes. You should
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: go into the ri I in Burbank.
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: I was just magical and huge, and it just there's
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: just camping gear and itself big.
• 8:46
  Speaker 7: You need the gear to survive the store. Okay, we're
• 8:50
  Speaker 7: doing We're doing that. Donald is nice to meet you.
• 8:53
  Speaker 7: We've never met.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: It's nice to meet you too.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Never Pete. That's Joel, our producer and h and Daniel
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: our engineer editor.
• 9:02
  Speaker 7: Yeah, he has a robot voice.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: He will edit out anything you say that you think
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: is horrible and stupid and should not have been said.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: You can just say cut that, Daniel.
• 9:10
  Speaker 7: When I made fun of Zach's character choices in his films,
• 9:13
  Speaker 7: would you actually copy that and paste it?
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: So?
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I said it twice? Whatever. We adopted two things you
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: taught me on our show, Pete Holmes, and one is
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: a speed agree is that right?
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 9:26
  Speaker 7: Speed degree? And scandal noted. I said it today. I
• 9:29
  Speaker 7: said it today. I just did my own podcast and
• 9:32
  Speaker 7: I was talking about how Louis addressed Luisy ky scandal,
• 9:35
  Speaker 7: noted scandal. You have to say that just to sort
• 9:38
  Speaker 7: of you know. I'm reading an interesting book called The
• 9:41
  Speaker 7: Coddling of the American Mind. Have you heard of that?
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: No, we're not well read here.
• 9:48
  Speaker 7: You just jump right to it.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Ask us if we watch Below Decks. Some of us
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: do Below Deck?
• 9:53
  Speaker 7: What is that about?
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: That's a reality show, Pete, that follows the crew of
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: a fancy yacht and their struggles having to wait on
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: the very rich patrons whilst also going out and partying
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: and getting ship faced and hooking up themselves.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: I don't watch the show.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Donald doesn't watch it, but he watches Ah Soka.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I'm not to talk about that.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: No, but see, Pete, this is something you need to
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: know that.
• 10:16
  Speaker 7: It's still in your background. Donald, you don't watch that show.
• 10:18
  Speaker 7: You roll your own cigars and like practice archery. You look,
• 10:21
  Speaker 7: that's a very fancy room, very.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Much, audience, Donald, And is in his new home.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Someone lived in it before and they had a very.
• 10:33
  Speaker 7: Who was it Aragorn, son of Arathorne.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Lord of the Ring, Pete.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: I want to start at the beginning, because that's a
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: very good place to start whenever. We we've never had
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: a fancy stand up comedian on our show. We've had
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: funny people, but no one who's a stand up. And
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: I wondered if you could tell the audience a little
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: bit about that, because our audience isn't necessarily people aren't
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: necessarily people in entertainment, so they might not know how
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: the hell do they become a stand up. Now, Pete
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: was in a show that was very very good called Crashing.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: If you haven't watched it, I'm allowed to tell you
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: as a writer director that it was written and directed
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: very well, but not as an actor. No, that's what
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: we were trying to say. Donald is a SAG member
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: not allowed to talk about any acting performances. But as
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: a WGA and DGA member, I can tell you the
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Crashing was very very well done. Yeah, oh, thank you,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: and its it sort of told the story. But can
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: you tell orian's a little bit how you got started
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: and how you ended up being a stand up in
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: your life.
• 11:35
  Speaker 7: Yeah, that's a good question. I The answer would be,
• 11:39
  Speaker 7: you know, I started in like two thousand and one
• 11:43
  Speaker 7: ish around there, so I've been doing it twenty two years.
• 11:45
  Speaker 7: My god, you just watched me stare into the middle
• 11:48
  Speaker 7: distance and I start crying. Twenty two years.
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: But you just said two thousand and one was twenty
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: two years ago. Man, that feels like it was like
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: five years ago. I mean, like nineteen eighty feels like
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: twenty two years to me.
• 12:01
  Speaker 7: Right, I'm so with you. But you know, at that
• 12:04
  Speaker 7: time in two thousand and two thousand and one, if
• 12:07
  Speaker 7: you wanted to get into comedy, there was improv, which
• 12:10
  Speaker 7: I did, and then there was stand up. And that
• 12:13
  Speaker 7: was around the time when I'm trying to think like
• 12:16
  Speaker 7: Cosby Scandal, Noted Seinfeld, there were there were people that
• 12:21
  Speaker 7: were getting TV shows. So like when you would look
• 12:23
  Speaker 7: and you'd go, how did I'm trying to think of
• 12:26
  Speaker 7: a stand up like Raymond?
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Everybody loves Raymond.
• 12:29
  Speaker 7: Raymond is a good one, but also SNL people. I
• 12:31
  Speaker 7: was one of those people that wanted to be on
• 12:33
  Speaker 7: SNL when I was in high school. That was one
• 12:35
  Speaker 7: of like a standout moment was I was in the
• 12:38
  Speaker 7: car with my friend Oliver and Kirsta. I mean, that's
• 12:41
  Speaker 7: how important this was, and I was making them laugh
• 12:43
  Speaker 7: so hard and it was either Kirsa or Oliver, but
• 12:46
  Speaker 7: they said you should be on SNL and I was like, oh, whoa,
• 12:49
  Speaker 7: you know what I mean, Like these these things, our
• 12:51
  Speaker 7: words are like so powerful, and that moment in high
• 12:54
  Speaker 7: school when everybody's so awkward and pimply and strange, that
• 12:59
  Speaker 7: that somebody took the time to like encourage me in
• 13:01
  Speaker 7: that way. And I remember that validating my little night time.
• 13:06
  Speaker 7: You know, I'd fall asleep pretending I was doing the
• 13:08
  Speaker 7: Good Nights you know, behind me. Would you imagine you
• 13:13
  Speaker 7: I did? And I still have that dream. I don't
• 13:16
  Speaker 7: have that dream, you know, like in my life, it's
• 13:20
  Speaker 7: not like on my goals to necessarily do that, but
• 13:23
  Speaker 7: I still catch myself. I'll wake up and I'm a
• 13:25
  Speaker 7: little embarrassed. I'm like I had the dream and the
• 13:28
  Speaker 7: dream that I had when I was fifteen years old
• 13:30
  Speaker 7: that I'm behind, you know, some some actor waving at
• 13:34
  Speaker 7: the Good Nights. So you were like, even as a
• 13:36
  Speaker 7: as a teenager, I was like, how do you do it?
• 13:39
  Speaker 7: I was asking the question you're asking, and I was like,
• 13:41
  Speaker 7: you'd find people like I'm trying to think Jay Moore,
• 13:44
  Speaker 7: David Spade. There were people that got from stand up
• 13:47
  Speaker 7: onto snl right, and then I started doing that, mimicking
• 13:53
  Speaker 7: that doing, and we can get into that and that
• 13:56
  Speaker 7: really what I got into first though, was improv because
• 14:00
  Speaker 7: I read a book, the Second City Book that was
• 14:03
  Speaker 7: like they broke it down like this. Chris Farley was
• 14:07
  Speaker 7: the funniest guy in Madison, Wisconsin. He went down to Chicago.
• 14:11
  Speaker 7: He did Second City. Second City gets scouted like an athletic,
• 14:15
  Speaker 7: like a baseball scout. They go and they watch the
• 14:18
  Speaker 7: show and they recruit people. And that was true and
• 14:22
  Speaker 7: it is still kind of true how how it happened.
• 14:25
  Speaker 7: So I was like, Okay, that's what I'll do. So
• 14:27
  Speaker 7: I had been doing stand up in Boston probably like
• 14:31
  Speaker 7: maybe ten times, not a ton, including some self produced
• 14:35
  Speaker 7: shows I did at my college. The first time I
• 14:36
  Speaker 7: did stand up, I did an hour stand up. I
• 14:39
  Speaker 7: just didn't know any better. I didn't know, well, that's generous, dude.
• 14:42
  Speaker 7: It was probably six minutes to stand up.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: I listened, said, I'm in dread to have to do
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: stand up because I'm look. We had a fantasy football
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: league and if you lost, you had to do five
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: minutes at like the laugh. Actually one of the dudes
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: really exec Yeah, he was an EP and he was like,
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: I'll fucking figure it out and we'll make it happen.
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: Do you know how hard I tried to win that
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: fucking league just so I didn't have to do five minutes. Dude,
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: you did a fucking hour your first time out.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: You are the bravest individual to play.
• 15:12
  Speaker 7: I really appreciate that. And that's a very creative punishment
• 15:15
  Speaker 7: because if you don't want to do it, stand up
• 15:17
  Speaker 7: is like the worst thing I can imagine having to do.
• 15:19
  Speaker 7: But because I wanted to do it and I stacked
• 15:21
  Speaker 7: it with my friends, it's a nightmare now. I would
• 15:24
  Speaker 7: never want to perform for my friends and my family.
• 15:26
  Speaker 7: Strangers are so much better. But like I did it
• 15:29
  Speaker 7: and it wasn't good is what I'm trying to stress.
• 15:31
  Speaker 7: But you know, I, you know, I broke the seal
• 15:33
  Speaker 7: and off we went. So I did it like maybe
• 15:35
  Speaker 7: ten times. But then I read this book called Truth
• 15:38
  Speaker 7: and Comedy and I was like, oh, improv is where
• 15:41
  Speaker 7: it's at. Because it's collaborative. It's a lot like you
• 15:44
  Speaker 7: know what we're doing now as actors, it's like you're
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: on a set. It's social, You're you're engaging with a
• 15:49
  Speaker 7: scene partner, and it just felt so much. I'm not
• 15:52
  Speaker 7: putting it down, but it felt safer, to be honest, I.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Would love that. By the way, neither have I done
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: professionally ever, I think I would love to do improv
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: when I go see it.
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: You may train as an improv you've done improv before.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Of course. Of course I do improv when I'm acting,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: and I make up jokes as we shoot. But I've
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: never done a sketch comedy improv land And when I
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: go see it, it's obviously hit or miss. Sometimes you'll
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: see something that's the funniest fucking thing ever you can't
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: believe it, and other times you're like, oh my god,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: this is so cringe, But that's kind of part of
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: the role of the dice of the thing.
• 16:26
  Speaker 7: Yeah, it's fun. That could be fun too.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Right, But I always feel like I would love that.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I would love to do.
• 16:35
  Speaker 7: Well because it's it's it's beautiful. And I really became
• 16:39
  Speaker 7: like an evangelist for how pure improv is and how
• 16:44
  Speaker 7: sort of dirty stand up was, because truth and comedy
• 16:46
  Speaker 7: kind of makes that case that traveling uh that I'm
• 16:49
  Speaker 7: sorry that comedians stand up comedians are a little bit
• 16:51
  Speaker 7: like traveling salesmen. It's it's very it puts them down.
• 16:54
  Speaker 7: It's like they take their wares and their sad little
• 16:57
  Speaker 7: rental cars and they go to clubs and it's that egg.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 17:00
  Speaker 7: They don't say that, but they're kind of implying. Whereas
• 17:03
  Speaker 7: improv is you know, you and five, six, seven, eight
• 17:06
  Speaker 7: other people, you're listening to each other, you're building it,
• 17:09
  Speaker 7: create together, you're co creating it, and then you throw
• 17:13
  Speaker 7: it away. It's almost like Andy Warhol. It's like it
• 17:16
  Speaker 7: would have belonged in the sixties, with like a spinning
• 17:19
  Speaker 7: like hypnotic shape in the background and everyone's wearing white
• 17:22
  Speaker 7: and smoking cigarettes. Like it's cool, it's experimental, it's alive.
• 17:25
  Speaker 7: But I do want to say that it is safer. Again,
• 17:30
  Speaker 7: that doesn't mean it's bad, but there was a My
• 17:33
  Speaker 7: part of my draw to it was because I was
• 17:36
  Speaker 7: scared to do stand up and that's not really a
• 17:39
  Speaker 7: good reason to not do stand up. And I watched
• 17:41
  Speaker 7: a lot of people doing improv where you know, and
• 17:45
  Speaker 7: I'm not breaking any new ground here. People are pointed
• 17:47
  Speaker 7: this out before. A lot of improv teams are big
• 17:51
  Speaker 7: white guys with beards, and it's a beer drinking club,
• 17:54
  Speaker 7: you know what I mean. It's like, I'm not. I
• 17:57
  Speaker 7: still think it can be great at times, but I
• 17:59
  Speaker 7: was always like, very like when I had an improv team,
• 18:02
  Speaker 7: I wanted to perform all the time. I was like,
• 18:05
  Speaker 7: what the fuck are we doing? And you perform like
• 18:09
  Speaker 7: once a month if you're like mad Discipline, and if
• 18:12
  Speaker 7: you're a house team at Io or something in Chicago,
• 18:14
  Speaker 7: you go up once a week. And I'm like, this
• 18:16
  Speaker 7: is fucking stupid, Like it's not, but it is. It's like,
• 18:21
  Speaker 7: as a stand up you can go up three times
• 18:24
  Speaker 7: a night, five times a night, six I believe the
• 18:25
  Speaker 7: record is thirteen times a night.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: You can do them.
• 18:28
  Speaker 7: I think Steve Byrne did that. He did thirteen sets
• 18:31
  Speaker 7: in New York. And it's like, I don't do that.
• 18:34
  Speaker 7: But when I was starting, I would do that. I
• 18:36
  Speaker 7: would do a lot of reps. And it's like I
• 18:38
  Speaker 7: think it was Chappelle or I think it was Chappelle
• 18:40
  Speaker 7: that was like, look, if you have a guy in
• 18:43
  Speaker 7: boise Ido Iowa that's doing like, you know, a set
• 18:47
  Speaker 7: a month, and then you have some dude in Manhattan
• 18:50
  Speaker 7: that's going up five times a week, who's going to
• 18:52
  Speaker 7: get better? Like you can feel it in New York.
• 18:54
  Speaker 7: You're like, yeah, I'm better than I was at seven
• 18:57
  Speaker 7: o'clock today.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: But you got to put in those reps.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: You can't.
• 19:04
  Speaker 7: You can't with improv. That was my problem. You are
• 19:07
  Speaker 7: now scheduling ten people with jobs, with lives, a lot
• 19:11
  Speaker 7: of them, with families, a lot of them that some
• 19:14
  Speaker 7: of them were just kind of doing it because it's
• 19:16
  Speaker 7: fucking great and it's fun and it's art in itself.
• 19:19
  Speaker 7: But I've always had kind of like a not it's
• 19:21
  Speaker 7: not grotesque, but I've had like, I want to do
• 19:24
  Speaker 7: show business. I want to write shows, I want to
• 19:25
  Speaker 7: write movies, I want to act. I want to do this,
• 19:27
  Speaker 7: and I want to do it by getting really good
• 19:29
  Speaker 7: at stand up and always do stand up first and foremost,
• 19:32
  Speaker 7: but like and and for itself. But I was like,
• 19:35
  Speaker 7: I gotta go, We gotta fucking go, guys, let's go.
• 19:38
  Speaker 7: And it's hard to do that when you got to
• 19:41
  Speaker 7: call three of three other guys and two of them
• 19:43
  Speaker 7: are on Kyle.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Let's take a break.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. I've had
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: the experience when of knowing people, particularly I was my twenties,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: of people trying to start out doing stand up and
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: there's this system in place right where you you need
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: to recruit people to come to your show, who are
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: your friends, your family, and they need to pay a
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: cover and like buy a two drink minimum, and that's
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and that's how you kind of get up in the beginning.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Is that's still the case. That's what it was back
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: in like the early two thousands when I had people
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: that were trying to do this.
• 20:24
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like one of my roommates when I first moved
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: out here, he was in the stand up and stuff
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: like that. He would try and get on it. I
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: forget what the what the spot was, but it was
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: like because I smoked way too much weed back then.
• 20:37
  Speaker 7: And still do nothing change.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Nothing changed a second. It's the same ship.
• 20:42
  Speaker 7: That looks like a great sweatshirt to smoke weedan is
• 20:45
  Speaker 7: that your Mickey Mouse sweatshirt?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: No, it's not the Mickey Mouse.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: He knows about the Mickey Mouse.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: He's a listener.
• 20:53
  Speaker 7: It's not. It's not okay.
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: And I saw him bomb quite a bit, and I
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: saw him, you know, I have a few nights where
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: he did really well and I used to sit there
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: and be like, dude, I don't know why you're putting
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: yourself through this? And it was the same show every night,
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: and he was like, if I can just get this right,
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: if this comes out right, oh.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: My god, you know what I mean.
• 21:14
  Speaker 7: I have a lot of thoughts about that. First of all,
• 21:16
  Speaker 7: stand up comedy is a never ending parade of humiliations
• 21:22
  Speaker 7: and embarrassments.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: It does seem to be a really, really, really hard
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: attract Some.
• 21:27
  Speaker 7: People are like, oh, I tried it and then I stopped.
• 21:29
  Speaker 7: Should I get back into it? And I'm like, if
• 21:31
  Speaker 7: it didn't get its hook in you, why would you?
• 21:35
  Speaker 7: Why would you run through a like a sea, like
• 21:37
  Speaker 7: a navy seal obstacle course. When on the other side
• 21:41
  Speaker 7: of it is some dude says you can do his
• 21:44
  Speaker 7: show once a month unless you really want it, you
• 21:47
  Speaker 7: know what I mean. So the other thing I feel
• 21:49
  Speaker 7: very strongly about that I just think is really important
• 21:53
  Speaker 7: and it's a through line and a lot of the
• 21:55
  Speaker 7: people that I know that were successful in stand up.
• 21:57
  Speaker 7: Leave your fucking friends out of it, leave your fo
• 22:01
  Speaker 7: get the fuck out. I didn't invite my fucking friends
• 22:04
  Speaker 7: to come watch me when I knew I don't invite
• 22:07
  Speaker 7: my friends. Now, you know what I'm saying it's like,
• 22:10
  Speaker 7: get why would I want you to watch me rearrange
• 22:14
  Speaker 7: my chocolate paneled living room? You know what I mean.
• 22:17
  Speaker 7: It's like, it's stupid. It's private, it's between me and
• 22:20
  Speaker 7: the audience. It's not a social experiment. It's not something
• 22:23
  Speaker 7: I want you. I want your support. I'm in this
• 22:26
  Speaker 7: to be fucking Batman. And have you ever seen Batman
• 22:29
  Speaker 7: on a gargoyle? He didn't bring his friend Caleb to
• 22:32
  Speaker 7: watch him learn how to fight crime. Fucking beat it.
• 22:36
  Speaker 7: This isn't about you. I hope you never see me
• 22:40
  Speaker 7: fuck off. I'm doing this because it's a compulsion and
• 22:43
  Speaker 7: it's a passion, and it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Like Zach
• 22:48
  Speaker 7: came and saw me and it was a great show.
• 22:50
  Speaker 7: I'm at a point in my career people can come
• 22:51
  Speaker 7: and see me now. But for the first ten years,
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: you know, I worked at Bennegan's in on the South
• 22:57
  Speaker 7: Side of Chicago. A lot of people didn't even know
• 22:59
  Speaker 7: I was a comedian. That's the right way to do it,
• 23:01
  Speaker 7: just in the same way people don't know Bruce Wayne
• 23:03
  Speaker 7: as Batman. Beat it. You have nothing to do with it.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: But how do you get up here's my question, how
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: do you get up? Because to me, that racket that
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: I sort of was exposed to was the you know
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: by the way they're going up at like five thirty,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: you know the reason that they were getting up is because.
• 23:19
  Speaker 7: They brought friends. Those are called bringers.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, tell us tell you what. I've never audience. What
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: a bringer is the audience? I can't much.
• 23:25
  Speaker 7: I can't't, I can't, I can't. I'm just kidding.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: That's kind of the audience about the tracks. One of
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: them is being is being a bringer? Go ahead.
• 23:34
  Speaker 7: Well, I never did bringers, and I don't encourage people
• 23:37
  Speaker 7: to do bringers. I think bringers are for the tourists.
• 23:39
  Speaker 7: There are exceptions to this. There are great comics that
• 23:42
  Speaker 7: did bringers, But a lot of people that do bringers
• 23:45
  Speaker 7: are just trying to pay it. Meaning like if I
• 23:48
  Speaker 7: get five friends to buy five tickets, so that's already
• 23:51
  Speaker 7: fifty bucks. Now two drinks and that's probably twenty bucks each.
• 23:54
  Speaker 7: I'm not here to do math, but you know, the
• 23:56
  Speaker 7: club's making a lot of money giving you five minutes
• 23:59
  Speaker 7: on a special show on a Monday night five thirty. Yeah,
• 24:04
  Speaker 7: and you bring me. That's a racket for the clubs.
• 24:06
  Speaker 7: It's like a pyramid scheme basically, and like it's also
• 24:11
  Speaker 7: I would say it's impossible to do well. I've been
• 24:15
  Speaker 7: doing it, Like I said twenty two twenty three years.
• 24:17
  Speaker 7: If you put me up at a six o'clock Bringer,
• 24:19
  Speaker 7: unless all I did was make fun of how horrible
• 24:22
  Speaker 7: the show was, which isn't kind. There's no way to
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: do well. You can't go up in that show and
• 24:27
  Speaker 7: be like, you know the funny thing about sand like
• 24:30
  Speaker 7: get at. Nobody wants to be there. They're hostages.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: It's horrible. I've been to bringers. I never knew there
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: was a term. I've been to bringers that are so
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: cringe and you're there trying to be supportive of your friend,
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: but you still have to listen to twenty other people.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: We're at this Bringer.
• 24:48
  Speaker 7: I'm telling you, it's like if aliens are watching us.
• 24:51
  Speaker 7: They're watching Bringer shows going like, look at what they do,
• 24:54
  Speaker 7: because it's a lot of to bringers.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I never knew there was a term club.
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: Okay, so look, and I didn't know they were it
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: was called bringers either. First of all, so when I
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: was growing up, my parents worked at it were a
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: part of a theater company called the National Black Theater.
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: It was in Harlem, and for two seasons, Uptown Comedy
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: Club set shot its show at the theater. So I
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: got to see a lot of very young comedians, African
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: American comedians, Ma Coo, Dougie, Doug, Tracy Morgan, a lot
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: of these cats perform and stuff like that. And so
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: on nights when they weren't shooting stuff like that, there
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: would be comedy night and they would set it up
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: just like it was on television, and people would come
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: on stage and those were the knights where that shit
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: would be empty as fuck, you know what I mean,
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: Like nobody.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Would ever night.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah it was well, yeah that's what it would be,
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: but you would you wouldn't know it, but fucking Dougie
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: Doug would host it or freaking Flex would be on stage.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: This is back then, right, And I just remember, like
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: the ones that did bring their friends in, you know
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: what I mean, Yeah, they got the last they got that.
• 26:09
  Speaker 7: That's what I mean. It's it's ridiculous. So to jump
• 26:13
  Speaker 7: no bringers. I'm not saying nobody's done a bringer and done, okay,
• 26:18
  Speaker 7: I'm just saying that was my policy. I was like,
• 26:19
  Speaker 7: this is embarrassing. This is growing pains. Let's just do
• 26:23
  Speaker 7: this as privately as possible. Otherwise you're going to exhaust
• 26:26
  Speaker 7: your friend group. They're gonna stop coming.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: I was exhausted fast because I once you go to
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: two or three bringers, You're like, how do I never
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: do this?
• 26:36
  Speaker 7: It's not a renewable resource. It's not a renewable resource.
• 26:40
  Speaker 7: And even if it is, you you're exploiting your it's horrible.
• 26:42
  Speaker 7: So what you want to do. And when I was
• 26:44
  Speaker 7: in Chicago and when I was in New York is
• 26:47
  Speaker 7: I would do open mics, which you're a different kind
• 26:49
  Speaker 7: of death, but it's a different agreement. In New York,
• 26:52
  Speaker 7: you had to pay, the comic had to pay. You
• 26:54
  Speaker 7: had to buy two drinks or two items, so I
• 26:57
  Speaker 7: got you know, this is a time when money's very tight.
• 26:59
  Speaker 7: I buy two buy two cokes for two cokes. Yeah,
• 27:05
  Speaker 7: but you also have to sign up, which means you
• 27:06
  Speaker 7: might be going on thirtieth you know what I mean.
• 27:09
  Speaker 7: There's nothing good about a question.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: You would have hit a bullshit? Wait, you hit a bullshit.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: I used to have to pay for fucking drinks.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: I'm a little kid, and I'm paying for sodas and
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: ship at this fucking comedy club and if I couldn't pay,
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: they would kick me the fuck.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: Kick.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I need to buy two cokes.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: This is my parents theater and shit.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: But the funny thing is they put them right in
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: front of you, because you're like, all right, have you
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: have this agreement where you have to buy two drinks? Right,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: so even if you're not drinking alcohol, you're drinking diet coke, Like,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: they just put two die cokes in front of you.
• 27:39
  Speaker 7: Well, yeah, no, that that is how you could spot
• 27:41
  Speaker 7: a comic at one of these things, because you had
• 27:43
  Speaker 7: two glasses of coke in front of you that no
• 27:45
  Speaker 7: one wanted. And it was also at a time when,
• 27:48
  Speaker 7: like you know, that's probably in New York in two
• 27:52
  Speaker 7: thousand and four. I mean two cokes was probably still
• 27:55
  Speaker 7: about eight bucks, and you're just sort of like, I
• 27:56
  Speaker 7: don't I don't have eight but like this sucks.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: So I have a question for you. When I walk
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: down McDougall, For those who don't know McDougall, what is
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: it street, boulevard? What is it? I think it's street
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: in Manhattan. Is not only the place where I think
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: you would say the top comedy club in Manhattan is
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: the comedy seller, yep, but also there's a few other clubs.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: And when you walk down that street, and by the way,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: a lot of Pete's show crashing takes place on that street.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: And I remember, I remember seeing you guys shooting there.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: There's guys and gals pamphleting. Yeah, now are they also
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: comics trying to get up?
• 28:33
  Speaker 7: Is that another?
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: What's that?
• 28:35
  Speaker 7: And that is what I did? So I love this
• 28:37
  Speaker 7: is such a generous line of questioning. I just really
• 28:39
  Speaker 7: appreciate your Well.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: We want to educate our audience on the life of
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: a stand up comedian.
• 28:45
  Speaker 7: Well, I appreciate anyone listening.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: It's very We've done vaginas, and we've done penises, We've
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: done we've done alcohol. Now we've done horses. We did
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: horses comedians.
• 28:57
  Speaker 7: Well, okay, what what? Oh? So that's called barking. And
• 29:01
  Speaker 7: so what I did when I was in New York.
• 29:03
  Speaker 7: And when I got to New York, i'd been doing
• 29:05
  Speaker 7: stand up for three years, but I felt like I
• 29:07
  Speaker 7: was starting over. And I think we could talk about
• 29:09
  Speaker 7: that for a while, but that was important. I didn't
• 29:11
  Speaker 7: walk in going like I'm from Chicago and you will
• 29:14
  Speaker 7: respect me. You just assume you're starting over, and that
• 29:17
  Speaker 7: was that was a good attitude. I don't remember who
• 29:20
  Speaker 7: explained that to me. Probably somebody told me that, and
• 29:22
  Speaker 7: I just I went in headlow, you know. And then
• 29:26
  Speaker 7: I did the open mics. But like I said, you're
• 29:28
  Speaker 7: looking at eight bucks a throw plus subway all that stuff,
• 29:32
  Speaker 7: and they sucked. They sucked. They were I'm not saying
• 29:36
  Speaker 7: I sucked. I did suck. Like I wasn't that bad
• 29:39
  Speaker 7: three years in. I wasn't that bad. But these shows,
• 29:42
  Speaker 7: performing for other comedians looking at their notes, waiting for
• 29:45
  Speaker 7: their turn to go on again, it's it's an unwinnable situation.
• 29:49
  Speaker 7: The only times I remember killing it open mics was
• 29:52
  Speaker 7: I had an opener where I'd go, look at what
• 29:54
  Speaker 7: we're doing and everyone would laugh because that was the
• 29:59
  Speaker 7: only angle know your audience. It's like, look what is this?
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's funny. That's a funny route. It's like, you know,
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: the audience's other comics like make fun of the process.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: You can't.
• 30:09
  Speaker 7: But I'm not even trying. There's no mark. Again. I
• 30:12
  Speaker 7: don't want to sound like a like a capitalist, like
• 30:14
  Speaker 7: swine or anything, but I wasn't getting in it to
• 30:17
  Speaker 7: learn how to kill it in an open mic, like
• 30:18
  Speaker 7: it was fun to do every once in a while,
• 30:20
  Speaker 7: but I was like, I want to run bits, I
• 30:22
  Speaker 7: want to work out material, and it wasn't happening.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: That's what I was asking you.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: Were you at the level where you were able to
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: run your bits and work out your material and try
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: and get your set complete you.
• 30:34
  Speaker 7: Could do bits at an open mic, But like if
• 30:36
  Speaker 7: someone kind of was like, huh, like that was a
• 30:39
  Speaker 7: standing ovation, you know, and really, and this is again
• 30:44
  Speaker 7: we could talk about the theory of getting through open mics.
• 30:47
  Speaker 7: The mantra at that point is don't quit. It's like,
• 30:50
  Speaker 7: it's like it's gonna suck. There's a line in Crashing
• 30:52
  Speaker 7: where Marina Franklin says to me, she says, if it sucks,
• 30:55
  Speaker 7: that's how you know you're doing it right. And that
• 30:58
  Speaker 7: is absolutely true of the beginning of stand up. And
• 31:01
  Speaker 7: you have to frame it and renarrativize it as something romantic,
• 31:05
  Speaker 7: as a lineage, as a rite of passage, because it's
• 31:08
  Speaker 7: not gonna in itself reward you. But when I would
• 31:10
  Speaker 7: see like Dmitri Martin was like I barked at the
• 31:15
  Speaker 7: Boston Comedy Club, I was like I'm gonna bark at
• 31:17
  Speaker 7: the Boston Comic Club. Like that's what I'm gonna do.
• 31:19
  Speaker 7: Jim Gaffigan was like, go to the Boston Comedy Club
• 31:22
  Speaker 7: and ask them how, and what they were saying, essentially
• 31:25
  Speaker 7: was there's a dumpster fire over there that you can
• 31:28
  Speaker 7: at least find a couple tunicns and discarded paper boxes
• 31:33
  Speaker 7: that you can lay on. It's gonna suck. Jim Gavigan
• 31:36
  Speaker 7: said to me, this is twenty years ago. He goes,
• 31:38
  Speaker 7: you're gonna think I'm insane, but you need to go
• 31:41
  Speaker 7: to a place that will like fold you into it
• 31:44
  Speaker 7: and let you let you in. And the places that
• 31:47
  Speaker 7: are gonna let essentially just a wandering you know, new
• 31:52
  Speaker 7: comedian in aren't gonna be great places. So the place
• 31:56
  Speaker 7: that I got in was the Boston It's not there anymore.
• 31:59
  Speaker 7: We rebuilt it for Crashing, which was a real trip,
• 32:02
  Speaker 7: but was on West third and basically West third McDougall,
• 32:06
  Speaker 7: so it was like a block and a half from
• 32:09
  Speaker 7: where I wanted to be, and my corner was McDougall
• 32:13
  Speaker 7: and third. So I was standing watching my heroes. And
• 32:19
  Speaker 7: when I say heroes, I don't mean names, you know,
• 32:21
  Speaker 7: I just mean, any dude that was working the cellar
• 32:24
  Speaker 7: was my.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: But that's good to say, But we should also tell
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: the audience. He doesn't know that the top comedians stand
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: ups in the world, if they're gonna make a surprise
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: and shore somewhere, they go to the cellar so you'll see.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: You know, you can be in there and all of
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: a sudden, you know Chappelle's going on or Seinfeld's going on.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: They just show up and surprise the audience.
• 32:45
  Speaker 7: And that's the trip, is that that Chappelle would also
• 32:49
  Speaker 7: come to this Boston because the Boston would let him
• 32:51
  Speaker 7: do three hours because it sucks and you want to
• 32:54
  Speaker 7: hear something crazy. This is when Chappelle's show is on.
• 32:57
  Speaker 7: So I'm barking. So I literally just went to the
• 33:00
  Speaker 7: Boston Comedy Club. I met the manager. His name was Dustin.
• 33:03
  Speaker 7: Somebody had told me go to the Boston asked for Dustin.
• 33:06
  Speaker 7: I met Dustin, who's a great guy, and I said, like,
• 33:09
  Speaker 7: I just told him what I've been telling you. I'm
• 33:11
  Speaker 7: from Chicago, I've been doing three years. I'm just looking
• 33:14
  Speaker 7: for a home club. And the moments in my life
• 33:17
  Speaker 7: that hinged on some human kindness are insane. And we
• 33:21
  Speaker 7: could spend the rest of the podcast talking about those
• 33:23
  Speaker 7: kindness hinge moments, and this was one of them, because
• 33:26
  Speaker 7: he could have just said get the fuck out of here.
• 33:28
  Speaker 7: He said what he said wasn't the best news. But
• 33:30
  Speaker 7: he was like, if you stand on that corner for
• 33:33
  Speaker 7: four hours, I'll give you four minutes, you know what
• 33:35
  Speaker 7: I mean. A lot of people would be like that
• 33:37
  Speaker 7: sounds like abuse, but I was like, I got my headphones,
• 33:42
  Speaker 7: I'm going to stand out there. They didn't track it.
• 33:45
  Speaker 7: Some clubs track it like you write your name on
• 33:47
  Speaker 7: it and they count how many people come in with
• 33:51
  Speaker 7: a flyer with your name on it. They weren't doing that.
• 33:53
  Speaker 7: You just had to do it, which felt a little
• 33:56
  Speaker 7: old Testament in a good way, in the way it's
• 33:58
  Speaker 7: like you want to marry my daughter, work in the
• 33:59
  Speaker 7: fields for seven years, like it felt from it does
• 34:03
  Speaker 7: feel and it feels like fight club. You want to
• 34:04
  Speaker 7: come in for Project Mayhem, stand on the porch for
• 34:07
  Speaker 7: three days. So I was like, Okay, we come from
• 34:10
  Speaker 7: a species that values people proving that they really want something.
• 34:14
  Speaker 7: Sleep on the on the steps of the temple before
• 34:16
  Speaker 7: you come in on karate. That's what it felt like.
• 34:19
  Speaker 7: So I was like okay, and I that was like
• 34:22
  Speaker 7: I felt like that was my first break was that
• 34:24
  Speaker 7: Dustin was like I'll let you bark and I went out.
• 34:27
  Speaker 7: I was pretty good at it, meaning I just kind of,
• 34:32
  Speaker 7: you know, I've cut corners in my life when I
• 34:33
  Speaker 7: was a waiter, I would cut corner. I was kind
• 34:35
  Speaker 7: of lazy and stuff. But with this, I was like
• 34:37
  Speaker 7: dead serious. So I was like handout flyers, going for it.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: What was your line that would get people to Trey
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: live comedy?
• 34:43
  Speaker 7: I just said great live com you guys, you guys. Look,
• 34:46
  Speaker 7: that's all I said. Great because there's so many people,
• 34:48
  Speaker 7: it's got to be quick, great live comedy, and that
• 34:50
  Speaker 7: great live comedy.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Here's there's also a lot of people. When you walk
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: down Mcdogal, there's a lot of people doing this to
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: get you to the different clubs. Yeah, it's kind of
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: like the red Light District in Amsterdam. It's very Instead
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: of it prostitutes, it's guys like Pete.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: It's the it's the fucking well, I don't want to
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: say that, now say it.
• 35:08
  Speaker 7: It's the It's yes, yeah, it is, you know what
• 35:13
  Speaker 7: it is. It's like the gym too, Like it's just
• 35:15
  Speaker 7: like this. I like the kung Fu thing. It's like,
• 35:18
  Speaker 7: go sleep in the rain, go sleep on it in
• 35:20
  Speaker 7: a ditch and prove it. And I actually I'm one
• 35:23
  Speaker 7: of those old people now that I'm like, this is good.
• 35:25
  Speaker 7: You shouldn't get famous on TikTok right away and not
• 35:30
  Speaker 7: be very good. I'm not thinking about anybody in particular
• 35:33
  Speaker 7: and just get catapulted into fame. You should lower yourself.
• 35:36
  Speaker 7: It's fucking Indiana Jones. Only the pendent man will pass,
• 35:39
  Speaker 7: and you got to get on your knees and fucking
• 35:41
  Speaker 7: get fucking humiliated. What is the root of humiliated is humble.
• 35:46
  Speaker 7: It's also the same root as human. It's also the
• 35:48
  Speaker 7: same root as soil. It's like, get low. And that's
• 35:52
  Speaker 7: what Bill Burr told me. I was very lucky that
• 35:54
  Speaker 7: the first people that I opened.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: Forgot some really fucking, really cool dudes advice right away.
• 35:59
  Speaker 7: Jim Gaffigan and Bill Burke used to come through Chicago,
• 36:02
  Speaker 7: and my friend Dan Kaufman hooked me up and got
• 36:04
  Speaker 7: me opening for them. We didn't those weren't like huge
• 36:06
  Speaker 7: names at the point. They were to me, but not
• 36:08
  Speaker 7: to the world. And and Bill Burr said he was
• 36:12
  Speaker 7: the one that said go to the Boston Comedy Club,
• 36:14
  Speaker 7: and he said, keep your head down, don't be a dick.
• 36:17
  Speaker 7: You'll get in. Though I still have that email, I've
• 36:20
  Speaker 7: looked at it, not recently, but I have checked that
• 36:23
  Speaker 7: I got that wording right, and that's what it was.
• 36:25
  Speaker 7: So keep your head down and like cand of keep
• 36:27
  Speaker 7: your mouth shut. You know, people are gonna make fun
• 36:29
  Speaker 7: of you, people are gonna tease you, but like, just
• 36:32
  Speaker 7: let the craft speak for itself. Just get better. And
• 36:36
  Speaker 7: the tip that I think you were steering me towards
• 36:38
  Speaker 7: that was that, like I have a stack of flyers
• 36:41
  Speaker 7: and you'd have to like take a flyer out, snap
• 36:44
  Speaker 7: and put it in front of somebody. Yeah, and if
• 36:46
  Speaker 7: they don't take it, which most people don't, put it
• 36:49
  Speaker 7: back in the stack, so you snap it again. You
• 36:51
  Speaker 7: don't just leave it out there like you need the
• 36:54
  Speaker 7: movement and some sort of razzle.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: They're also very tall. What are you six?
• 36:58
  Speaker 7: What six six? Yeah?
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: So six six helps? You're gonna get people are gonna
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: look at you.
• 37:03
  Speaker 7: Yeah. And you know what else helped is is like
• 37:06
  Speaker 7: I'm an effusive person, I'm a communicator. This doesn't always work,
• 37:12
  Speaker 7: meaning I would tell Dustin how much it meant to me,
• 37:14
  Speaker 7: like even after a night, sometimes the show was canceled.
• 37:17
  Speaker 7: Often the show was canceled. You bark for four hours,
• 37:20
  Speaker 7: you come back, no one's there. You just go home.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. But I was so humiliating and humbling.
• 37:26
  Speaker 7: But if you keep doing it, you know what I
• 37:29
  Speaker 7: mean by old testament. It's like, you must really love
• 37:31
  Speaker 7: my wife or my daughter, you can marry her.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna stick with the Miagi analogy. You fucking learned
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: to wax on wax off.
• 37:38
  Speaker 7: Yeah, But like I also was very clear, I'm not
• 37:43
  Speaker 7: a tourist, meaning I'm not just doing this to have fun.
• 37:46
  Speaker 7: This was I didn't lose in my fantasy football thing,
• 37:50
  Speaker 7: like I want I want this, I want to do
• 37:53
  Speaker 7: this and thank you for the opportunity. Now, that sweetness
• 37:56
  Speaker 7: didn't always work. I remember there was a club in
• 37:59
  Speaker 7: Boston that I was trying to get up and I
• 38:01
  Speaker 7: would He told me, he was like, we'll get you
• 38:03
  Speaker 7: up another time this month. And I used to call,
• 38:05
  Speaker 7: just every day, just calling, and the dude, fine, I'd
• 38:08
  Speaker 7: get the machine. I'd leave him like the seventh message,
• 38:10
  Speaker 7: This coked up club owner picks up the phone. He's
• 38:12
  Speaker 7: like this isn't how it fucking works. I call you like,
• 38:15
  Speaker 7: he like chewed me out. So I couldn't just be
• 38:18
  Speaker 7: like the borderline Mormon sweet level, you know what I mean.
• 38:22
  Speaker 7: Like I was so doe eyed and kind, I'd like
• 38:26
  Speaker 7: to think, but gentle and happy to be here, almost
• 38:29
  Speaker 7: like Jack McBrayer or Buddy the Elf, you know what
• 38:31
  Speaker 7: I mean. And that did it. Yeah, it did work
• 38:36
  Speaker 7: with Dustin in the sense that he knew I meant it,
• 38:40
  Speaker 7: and he's a true comic and he respected the part
• 38:43
  Speaker 7: of me that wanted to be a true comic. And
• 38:45
  Speaker 7: then the trip was I was gonna say, when Chappelle
• 38:48
  Speaker 7: would drop by, we'd go out on the street. Again.
• 38:52
  Speaker 7: It might be ten o'clock at night, the Terrible Show
• 38:54
  Speaker 7: is already going. There's like seven people in the house.
• 38:58
  Speaker 7: I'm waiting to go on and the and they go
• 39:00
  Speaker 7: Chappelle's here. He's It's so fucking what is there anyone cooler?
• 39:04
  Speaker 7: He's walking in. I can remember it, and you know,
• 39:07
  Speaker 7: he's smoking, and Dustin would say, go back out, and
• 39:12
  Speaker 7: we would go back out. Of course, would go back out.
• 39:14
  Speaker 7: Then all we had to say was Dave Chappelle's in here,
• 39:16
  Speaker 7: and the place would be full in like fifteen minutes.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: Wow, but here's the word back out. I could picture
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: all the comedians who thought they were going to go on, yeah,
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: are now running out with their flyers. It became Chappelle, Chappelle, chappelle.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: But it probably means you're not going to go on.
• 39:30
  Speaker 7: No, it was a mixed bag. At first, it was awesome,
• 39:33
  Speaker 7: and I'd say this to Dave, it's not shit talk.
• 39:36
  Speaker 7: At first it was awesome, and then after a while
• 39:39
  Speaker 7: that just meant, here's what's going to happen. One hundred
• 39:43
  Speaker 7: and fifty people are going to pack out the club.
• 39:45
  Speaker 7: He's going to go on. He's going to go on
• 39:47
  Speaker 7: for two hours maybe. And by that I mean he's
• 39:50
  Speaker 7: not and he you know, he can do whatever he wants,
• 39:55
  Speaker 7: but he's not necessarily doing material. He's fucking around, which
• 39:59
  Speaker 7: is his right. I say, you see the hierarchy. There
• 40:01
  Speaker 7: is like a respect pyramid of stand up, and we
• 40:04
  Speaker 7: take that seriously. So that was fine. I would watch it,
• 40:07
  Speaker 7: and I learned a lot about what it's like to
• 40:09
  Speaker 7: develop material really raw, just literally asking somebody like what's
• 40:14
  Speaker 7: your favorite breakfast cereal and riffing on cinnamon toa's crunch
• 40:17
  Speaker 7: for five minutes. But it wasn't he wasn't doing you know,
• 40:22
  Speaker 7: he's feeling prepared.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: No, I've seen this, by the way. I've seen this. No,
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: I've literally seen this carry out. I've been in the
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: cellar when oh my god, she Pell's here. She might
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: everyone gets excited. Yeah, and then he starts smoking and
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: there isn't even what seems like the seed of an idea.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: It's just it's just him smoking, and he just like
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: starts shooting the ship with an audience member. And because
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: he's who he is, he's earned the right yeah to
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: do that. And then if you're in the audience, you're like,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: when's he gonna start telling a joke?
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 40:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah. And there's a certain kind of writing you
• 41:00
  Speaker 7: can only do on the high wire, like you want
• 41:03
  Speaker 7: to be in front of the crowd, Like I write
• 41:05
  Speaker 7: and then I go on stage and it just juices
• 41:07
  Speaker 7: it up. You just like being in front of an audience.
• 41:10
  Speaker 7: You like the thrill of the laugh and all that stuff.
• 41:12
  Speaker 7: So I get it. He's going up and and and
• 41:14
  Speaker 7: he's an EmPATH, but he's absorbing that energy and it's
• 41:17
  Speaker 7: inspiring him. But he's also like a cool ass dude,
• 41:21
  Speaker 7: that's very calm, So he doesn't mind just sitting there
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: and smoking if that's what happens for a couple of minutes.
• 41:27
  Speaker 7: So then the best case scenario would be he doesn't
• 41:32
  Speaker 7: do too long. He says thank you, and then I
• 41:38
  Speaker 7: he didn't talk about and no one yeah, right, hey, Hi,
• 41:44
  Speaker 7: get off, and then the barkers, as we were known,
• 41:49
  Speaker 7: because no one is left and no one wants to
• 41:51
  Speaker 7: go next. So now everyone wanted to go next. Now
• 41:54
  Speaker 7: Chappelle went up, no one wants to go next. So
• 41:57
  Speaker 7: the number of times that I went on stage, and
• 42:00
  Speaker 7: my opener, if you want to call it, that was
• 42:03
  Speaker 7: please don't leave, Please don't leave. David Chapelle was great.
• 42:06
  Speaker 7: I know, please don't leave, and everyone would leave. But guys,
• 42:11
  Speaker 7: I'm forty four, and as I tell this story, I
• 42:14
  Speaker 7: have a huge smile on my face. It was essential.
• 42:19
  Speaker 7: It was essential. It was like, that's why I told you.
• 42:22
  Speaker 7: When people say I did stand up once or twice,
• 42:24
  Speaker 7: I took a ten year break, Should I do it again,
• 42:27
  Speaker 7: I'm like, no, you either know this is your shit
• 42:32
  Speaker 7: even when you suck, but you still have those dreams
• 42:35
  Speaker 7: literally in my case, literally dreaming about it. Dreaming about
• 42:40
  Speaker 7: hanging out with Zach and Donald on a podcast. Fucking
• 42:43
  Speaker 7: dream come to you know, my first specscript with Scrubs.
• 42:46
  Speaker 7: By the way, this shit, this shit was fucking in me,
• 42:52
  Speaker 7: you know what I mean, So like you gotta take
• 42:56
  Speaker 7: the win, and the wind was this sucks and I'm
• 42:59
  Speaker 7: not quitting. I know that sounds like a little like
• 43:02
  Speaker 7: a refrigerator magnet, but I was like, I'm proud that
• 43:05
  Speaker 7: I went into Manhattan, a place that used to it's
• 43:07
  Speaker 7: At that time, it was scary to me. Unsettling. People
• 43:11
  Speaker 7: are mean, Comics are mean. People would say right to
• 43:14
  Speaker 7: your face, I don't like you, like fucking weird shit.
• 43:18
  Speaker 7: And I stood there holding my empty porridge bowl and
• 43:21
  Speaker 7: just like smiled like the fucking Buddha and just waited
• 43:24
  Speaker 7: my turn. And then me and the Barkers would talk shit.
• 43:26
  Speaker 7: Of course we hated everybody.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: Is that a young man's game, that's a good question.
• 43:32
  Speaker 7: I mean, I was twenty five, but Dmitri Martin was
• 43:39
  Speaker 7: in law school. He was in his second year of
• 43:41
  Speaker 7: law school and he quit. That's fucking courage and certainty
• 43:45
  Speaker 7: and skill. Like he recognized his skill, so he didn't
• 43:48
  Speaker 7: start until he was already out of college and two
• 43:51
  Speaker 7: years into law school. But Tim Allen is always the example.
• 43:54
  Speaker 7: I like, sometimes people go, is it too late for
• 43:57
  Speaker 7: me to start? And whatever age they are, I go,
• 44:00
  Speaker 7: Tim Allen was in jail when he was your you
• 44:02
  Speaker 7: know what I mean, like meaning it if it's in you,
• 44:06
  Speaker 7: you know what I mean, like there can be a
• 44:08
  Speaker 7: later break. It's just in fact, the older you get,
• 44:14
  Speaker 7: you know, I think, the funnier you get, and you can,
• 44:17
  Speaker 7: especially these days, you can cram conversation like this, cram content.
• 44:22
  Speaker 7: I was just talking to somebody on my pod today.
• 44:23
  Speaker 7: I was like, I used to go to the library
• 44:25
  Speaker 7: and get like prior VHS's and stuff, and like, you know,
• 44:28
  Speaker 7: you'd have to take this in Boston, take the subway
• 44:31
  Speaker 7: into Tower Records just to look to see if they
• 44:34
  Speaker 7: had a comedy section. They didn't. You just go home.
• 44:38
  Speaker 7: Like but now, if somebody was starting in their thirties
• 44:41
  Speaker 7: or even their forties, I wouldn't roll my eyes at that,
• 44:45
  Speaker 7: you know, And Roseanne, there are a lot of people,
• 44:48
  Speaker 7: I think, especially now, I wouldn't think this do paying
• 44:51
  Speaker 7: shit though I don't know. It's an ego question. Some
• 44:56
  Speaker 7: people have egos that they can detach from them, so
• 45:00
  Speaker 7: I was a little bit more easily and because I
• 45:02
  Speaker 7: was young and didn't have as much of an ego
• 45:05
  Speaker 7: like dude I was. I was on an airplane. I
• 45:07
  Speaker 7: had a first class ticket on a flight. They moved
• 45:09
  Speaker 7: me to another flight. My seat wasn't first class, and
• 45:11
  Speaker 7: I got on the plane. I was not rude about it,
• 45:13
  Speaker 7: but there were empty seats in first class and I'm like,
• 45:14
  Speaker 7: can I have one of these? And they were like no,
• 45:17
  Speaker 7: and I was like, and I was so shocked that
• 45:20
  Speaker 7: they said no. I didn't do anything rude, but I
• 45:22
  Speaker 7: was like, dude, I couldn't do it now, you know
• 45:24
  Speaker 7: what I mean. Like, I wouldn't go and be like
• 45:26
  Speaker 7: I just barked for four hours and they're like, show
• 45:28
  Speaker 7: is canceled. I'd be like, well, I'm not coming tomorrow.
• 45:30
  Speaker 7: This isn't working. But to that, I knew dudes that
• 45:34
  Speaker 7: came to New York and weren't willing to eat shit
• 45:38
  Speaker 7: and they are not doing comedy anymore. And that's okay.
• 45:40
  Speaker 7: I don't say that and spit out their name from
• 45:43
  Speaker 7: my mouth or anything. I'm just saying there were two
• 45:46
  Speaker 7: people that in the scenes that I came up with
• 45:49
  Speaker 7: that didn't make it. One was people that weren't willing
• 45:51
  Speaker 7: to eat shit, eat a shit sandwich. And that's within reason.
• 45:55
  Speaker 7: I'm not talking about taking abuse from club owners or
• 45:57
  Speaker 7: other comics. I'm saying, within reason, the parameters that we've
• 46:00
  Speaker 7: kind of been discussing, the other dudes that didn't make
• 46:02
  Speaker 7: it and women that didn't make it, were the shit talkers,
• 46:05
  Speaker 7: Like if all you did was complain about what other
• 46:08
  Speaker 7: people were getting and how fast they were getting. Because
• 46:11
  Speaker 7: here I am handing out flyers as these I'm sorry
• 46:12
  Speaker 7: shows up on the scene. Dude is instant, from my perspective,
• 46:17
  Speaker 7: instantly in Rolling Stone, on the hot List, you know
• 46:21
  Speaker 7: what I mean, or something like that, and you're like,
• 46:23
  Speaker 7: dude's twenty years old. If you let that jealousy permeate
• 46:28
  Speaker 7: you and get in your bones, I call it comedy cancer.
• 46:31
  Speaker 7: You're done. You're fucking done. You keep your head down,
• 46:35
  Speaker 7: Bill Burr, keep your head do beit deck like you
• 46:39
  Speaker 7: can't look at your neighbor's paper. And that's why you
• 46:42
  Speaker 7: don't invite your friends. I don't give a fuck what
• 46:43
  Speaker 7: my friends think. I know I suck. It's my time
• 46:46
  Speaker 7: to suck. Let me do it privately, let me do
• 46:49
  Speaker 7: it alone.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: Let's take a break.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. Let me
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: ask you this. They used to be the old prayer
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: was that you would get a sitcom, right, So nowadays.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: Isn't that still to say.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: Well, it's a show. I'm sure, but.
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: No guys getting in the stand up really just to
• 47:13
  Speaker 4: make everybody laugh for the rest of their life. They
• 47:15
  Speaker 4: want to fucking turn that shit into fucking.
• 47:17
  Speaker 7: Of course, of course some do, some do really, there
• 47:21
  Speaker 7: are there are purists. Yeah, for sure, there's a great story.
• 47:25
  Speaker 7: Hannibal Burris. I don't think it'd mind me telling you this,
• 47:28
  Speaker 7: but like he used to go into meetings with networks
• 47:30
  Speaker 7: and he'd just be like, I just want to get
• 47:32
  Speaker 7: good at stand up. Like he'd be completely honest with them.
• 47:34
  Speaker 7: They're like, yeah, but do you have any pitches? And
• 47:35
  Speaker 7: he's like, I want to get good at stand up
• 47:37
  Speaker 7: Because he knew the order, he was like, you're not
• 47:39
  Speaker 7: gonna We're not going to do this. Now. I'm glad
• 47:41
  Speaker 7: we know each other. I'm extrapolating. I just remember Hannibal
• 47:45
  Speaker 7: was one of those dudes that was like, I just
• 47:47
  Speaker 7: want to be one of the greats, you know.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: So, but yeah, my question is how do you now
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: make a living at it? Because I know you've had
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: you have a successful tour. You have an upcoming Netflix
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: show which we should plug.
• 48:00
  Speaker 7: What's it called show ten twenty four. It'll be out
• 48:02
  Speaker 7: ten twenty four. It's called I Am Not for everyonty.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: I am for everyone. Yeah, I am not for everyone
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: on Netflix. I've seen this show, by the way, with
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: Bill Lawrence. Bill and I went to one of the
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: last times you were sort of doing it for an
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: audience at Largo in Los Angeles before you went to
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: shoot it. I believe right, And I'm not just saying
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: this because he's here. Bill and I belly laughed for
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: an hour and a half. How long did you did
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: it end up being ninety minutes?
• 48:30
  Speaker 7: No, I cut some stuff.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: It's funny. That night I was like that night, I
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: was like, I said to you, oh, I'm sure you're
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: going to cut it down to an hour, right, And
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: you were like, no, No, I think I'm going to leave
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: it long. But even the ninety minutes, we bally laughed
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: the whole time. It was so fucking funny. I promise you, audience,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: if you're listening and you're a fan of Donald and
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: I you will laugh at Pete's special. It's so smart
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: and funny. And I like comedy that does not only
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: make me laugh but makes me think, and your hour
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: certainly does that. Oh thanks man, But I wanted to
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: say My question is how I've gone to the Cellar
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: and seen so many brilliant comedians. That's where you go
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: when you want to see the best in town, and
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: I don't. They aren't necessarily household names. They aren't necessarily
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: people you'd recognize. How do these people make a living?
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Do they do they tour? They's? Do they tour at
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: different levels? Are they hoping for a special? What is
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: the twenty twenty three way that a stand up comedian
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: makes a living?
• 49:28
  Speaker 7: Again a generous question. We we cover this a little
• 49:32
  Speaker 7: bit on Crashing, but the answer is more than what
• 49:35
  Speaker 7: we showed on the show. There's different markets, right, so
• 49:40
  Speaker 7: there there are still to this day people in New York.
• 49:42
  Speaker 7: What I was smiling during your question that there are
• 49:45
  Speaker 7: people that I want to go like, what what are
• 49:46
  Speaker 7: how are you doing? Like I do like I don't know,
• 49:49
  Speaker 7: I want to go, Like what is what's your strategy?
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: Like where do you live? How do you ben in Manhattan?
• 49:55
  Speaker 7: Well? You can take it up from the bottom right.
• 49:57
  Speaker 7: There are some dudes that do so many sets in
• 49:59
  Speaker 7: the city. That's what they that's what they do. Like that,
• 50:03
  Speaker 7: and I'm sure they tore some but like you know,
• 50:06
  Speaker 7: if you do, because the Fat Black Pussycat is right
• 50:10
  Speaker 7: around the corner from the cellar, you can go back
• 50:12
  Speaker 7: and forth between those two clubs. I've done it and
• 50:15
  Speaker 7: go up eight times at the night and.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: That's in your show. By the way, I just want
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: to say a funny little connection here. Jessica Curson, who
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: we should have on Donald is my stepsister and she
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: is a very accomplished, that hilarious stand up comedian.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: She did it a unique way.
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: Also, where she got she was already out there, but
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: she got on through a reality television show.
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that was her. That was her introduction, started
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: her up.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: She was on one of those what was it the
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: comedian competition she was. Yeah. But also what I just
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: wanted to say that one of the great things about
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: Peete show Crashing is he had all the real people
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: playing themselves. All the go to not all, but a
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: lot of the go to stand ups in this circuit
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: are in the show, including my stepsister Jessica Curson was
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: in a very funny episode where Pete and she are
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: running back and forth between these two clubs. So I
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: just had to digress and tell that.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: And then we go.
• 51:07
  Speaker 7: She does another one where we go to North Carolina.
• 51:09
  Speaker 7: She was in the only episode where we flew somewhere
• 51:11
  Speaker 7: to shoot it, and she's just she's sweet as pie.
• 51:14
  Speaker 7: I love her to death. I'm not just saying that.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Like I have like a special She's someone you don't
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: want to follow because she every time I see her.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm the most often that I'm in the
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Cellar is because Jessica's going up and I'm going to
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: see her and I'm gonna see some other comics. Yeah,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: And every comic will tell me and they're not just
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: saying this because she's my stepsister, Like you can't follow
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: her because she's so funny and she's so outrageous. Donald.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: Have you ever seen her do her thing?
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, I have so funny.
• 51:42
  Speaker 7: She told me once she didn't like a crowd at
• 51:44
  Speaker 7: the Cellar and she did the rest of her set
• 51:46
  Speaker 7: with her back her back to them, which I was like.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: She does this sort of inner monologue thing where she'll
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: she'll be performing and if and if something bombs, she
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: goes upstage to the wall and turns around into the mic.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: She does like an inner monologue, like, don't listen to them,
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: You're doing just great. This is very hard. You know,
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not selling it well.
• 52:04
  Speaker 7: But yes, great, Yeah, she's letting them into every element
• 52:08
  Speaker 7: of the experience. So anyway, the answer is there's city
• 52:13
  Speaker 7: spots and then the first break. For a lot of
• 52:16
  Speaker 7: people in Mike, I'll just speak for myself. My first
• 52:19
  Speaker 7: sort of foray into touring was colleges, and especially when
• 52:22
  Speaker 7: you're in your twenties, colleges are incredible and there's things
• 52:27
  Speaker 7: called NAKA. Musicians do it as well. It's a National
• 52:29
  Speaker 7: Association of College Acts or something like that. You go
• 52:33
  Speaker 7: to a NAKA. It's in a hotel. We did an
• 52:36
  Speaker 7: episode about on crashing and people are curious. I'm very
• 52:39
  Speaker 7: proud of the NAKA episode. I got a college agent.
• 52:42
  Speaker 7: I'm forgiving out. I can't exactly remember how, but somebody
• 52:46
  Speaker 7: probably a VHS tape that I sent and then they
• 52:50
  Speaker 7: submit that VHS tape into naka's on your behalf. You
• 52:54
  Speaker 7: have to pay it's like three hundred bucks just to
• 52:56
  Speaker 7: submit again at a time when you don't have three
• 52:59
  Speaker 7: hundred bucks, and then if you get in, it's a
• 53:01
  Speaker 7: really big deal. I often didn't get in. I eventually
• 53:05
  Speaker 7: finally got one. I went and you perform at like
• 53:08
  Speaker 7: eleven in the morning. And who's there as all the
• 53:11
  Speaker 7: people from our colleges that ran the Student Activities Council.
• 53:15
  Speaker 7: So everybody's shirt says sack or CAB. They're all called
• 53:18
  Speaker 7: soccer Cab, soccer Cab, Student Activities Council or CONCL.
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: So they're the students.
• 53:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah, they're students.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: So they're students who have been tasked with booking the
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: acts for this.
• 53:31
  Speaker 7: Yeah, but let's be real. These aren't the hippus students.
• 53:33
  Speaker 7: These are are kids that wanted to run the yearbook.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Basically they have a lot of power. Though they do
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: have a.
• 53:39
  Speaker 7: Lot of power, and that's what's so funny about it
• 53:42
  Speaker 7: is you're kissing your my future, my rent, and my
• 53:46
  Speaker 7: livelihood is now tied to my ability to not only
• 53:49
  Speaker 7: perform well but also hobnob and the lobby of a
• 53:52
  Speaker 7: highest regency with some eight nineteen year old girl who
• 53:56
  Speaker 7: still has braces, and she's deciding whether or not they
• 53:59
  Speaker 7: want to spend the eleven hundred dollars to have me
• 54:02
  Speaker 7: come into the Upper Peninsula, Michigan and do a show
• 54:05
  Speaker 7: at noon. You know what I mean. So it's a
• 54:07
  Speaker 7: very I'm telling you, it's a never ending parade of humiliations. Guys,
• 54:13
  Speaker 7: it's never ending. It doesn't end. I'm still doing it.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: So you do the set and then you have to
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: go in the lobby and be like, so, Michelle, no,
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: it's worse.
• 54:24
  Speaker 7: You stand at a booth you after your set, pet Homestan,
• 54:30
  Speaker 7: it's your My agency was called Auburn Moon. I would
• 54:34
  Speaker 7: stand at the Auburn Moon booth and watch people walk by.
• 54:38
  Speaker 7: So I did two necas, one where I did very well,
• 54:40
  Speaker 7: one where I didn't so one where you didn't do well.
• 54:43
  Speaker 7: And you have to stand at the booth trying to
• 54:45
  Speaker 7: hand out your merch because you're giving because college kids
• 54:47
  Speaker 7: love free stuff, so you're trying to give them T
• 54:49
  Speaker 7: shirts or trying to give them a water bottle or
• 54:52
  Speaker 7: something like that, or a carabeaner that says Pete Holmes dot.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: And then see them let's say you didn't kill that day,
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: and well yea, And so you see them gathering around
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: the booth of the guy who killed and they're all
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: get get the asease Carabina.
• 55:09
  Speaker 7: Yeah, well, dude, I don't know if he's ever didna.
• 55:12
  Speaker 7: I think as blew up real fast and kind of
• 55:14
  Speaker 7: pole vaulted that. But when I did it the first
• 55:18
  Speaker 7: time and I knew it was a big deal, it
• 55:21
  Speaker 7: was like I was more nervous, more jacked up for
• 55:24
  Speaker 7: it than like my first late night or anything. It
• 55:26
  Speaker 7: was like it really felt like no one will ever know,
• 55:30
  Speaker 7: you know what I mean. It's not going to be
• 55:31
  Speaker 7: on TV. But if I do this, it'll fill my calendar,
• 55:35
  Speaker 7: like it'll fill out my whole year. And when I
• 55:38
  Speaker 7: said eleven hundred dollars, that wasn't random like I would
• 55:40
  Speaker 7: say the average I don't not even mid level, low level,
• 55:44
  Speaker 7: but headlining early comedian, especially if you're clean, which I
• 55:49
  Speaker 7: was clean at the time, you'd make about a grand
• 55:52
  Speaker 7: unless they clumped them together. Now you're doing it for me.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: You get paid more if you're clean.
• 55:57
  Speaker 7: You book more if you're clean, because.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: They don't want a lot of just don't want dirty talk.
• 56:02
  Speaker 7: Absolutely not. In fact, you once you book the gig
• 56:05
  Speaker 7: and you get this a whole I could write a
• 56:06
  Speaker 7: book on how to do colleges, but once you get
• 56:08
  Speaker 7: there you can ask and say, really, that.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: A really good cock joke. Do you guys want it? Yeah?
• 56:16
  Speaker 7: Yeah, And it's the same with you know, I do
• 56:18
  Speaker 7: corporate gigs now too, and they're always like, you book
• 56:21
  Speaker 7: it because you can do an hour squeaky clean, and
• 56:23
  Speaker 7: I can and I do and I like it. But
• 56:25
  Speaker 7: sometimes you get there. Last one I did was for
• 56:27
  Speaker 7: like liquor salesmen. I'm like, these guys want to and
• 56:30
  Speaker 7: these men and women would like to hear about this
• 56:32
  Speaker 7: sex story or whatever it is. They're gonna like it
• 56:35
  Speaker 7: the sex joke.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: So anyway, there's a section in your new stand up
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: I'm not for everyone? Is that what it's called?
• 56:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I am not for everyone.
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: I am not for everyone where it's not dirty necessarily,
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: but you speak in a very funny way about uh sexuality? Right?
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: Is that the way way to put it? And I
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: just thought it was so funny and interesting. But it
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: would that be considered But would that section be considered
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: all rated?
• 57:04
  Speaker 7: Yeah? Everything in my new special, with few exceptions, would
• 57:09
  Speaker 7: be too edgy for a naka. But the great thing
• 57:12
  Speaker 7: is is because I was raised religious, I fuck naka.
• 57:16
  Speaker 7: I thought I was going to go to hell if
• 57:17
  Speaker 7: I was a naughty boy. So I was way ahead of.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: The curve, right, something that's in Crashing and we haven't
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: touched on and we can. We can just touch on
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: it briefly. One thing that's interesting about your story is
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: that you grew up quite religious, correct and then so
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: part of the story of Crashing is not only is
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: it Pete's story, he's a young, wide eyed stand up
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: coming to town, but your character and you grew up
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: very religious.
• 57:42
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and it really is sort of like a I
• 57:45
  Speaker 7: don't want to say thrown into the wolve's den, but
• 57:48
  Speaker 7: it had a little flavor of that more because of
• 57:51
  Speaker 7: how sheltered eye was. And you know, Nate Bargatzi was
• 57:54
  Speaker 7: there at the same time as me, and he and
• 57:56
  Speaker 7: I bonded a lot over just like we're you know,
• 57:59
  Speaker 7: we're afar away from the from the church life, which
• 58:02
  Speaker 7: which was very sweet and nice. I'm not saying anything
• 58:04
  Speaker 7: bad about it. Now everybody's you know, doing everything that
• 58:08
  Speaker 7: you could think, drugs, drinking, and there's a lot of like.
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: When you're still a religious man, are you not?
• 58:14
  Speaker 7: I'm a spiritu Yeah, it's a spirit deeply spiritual person.
• 58:17
  Speaker 7: And that and that informs it. You know that we're
• 58:19
  Speaker 7: changing gears a little bit. But it's like, I think
• 58:21
  Speaker 7: there's a big difference between dirty and ugly. My comedy
• 58:24
  Speaker 7: is very dirty, but it's not ugly, and I think
• 58:27
  Speaker 7: you can do clean comedy that's very ugly. I think
• 58:30
  Speaker 7: what you should really pick up on, thanks Ton, is
• 58:33
  Speaker 7: like the undercurrent, like what values, what attitudes and perspectives
• 58:39
  Speaker 7: are you championing? And if you don't say fuck, it
• 58:42
  Speaker 7: doesn't matter. Did you just say a man should be
• 58:46
  Speaker 7: able to hit a woman? Did you kind of like,
• 58:47
  Speaker 7: let's really reduce what you just said. Isn't that what
• 58:51
  Speaker 7: you just said? And this could be a clean comic?
• 58:53
  Speaker 7: And then I go up and I say, like, you're
• 58:55
  Speaker 7: the joke you're referencing. I think, is you know Kinsey approved.
• 58:59
  Speaker 7: It's very interesting about the spectrum of sexuality and it's dirty.
• 59:03
  Speaker 7: I'm talking about jerking off in sacks and all this stuff,
• 59:06
  Speaker 7: but like, underneath that, I'm saying, we're all in this together.
• 59:11
  Speaker 7: It's a sexuality strange and it's unifying, Like my goal
• 59:15
  Speaker 7: is for it to be unifying.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: You never punched down in your and your kind and
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: there's there's a kindness to your comedy. You're saying some outrageous,
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: funny things, but you're not taking aim at anybody in
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: a mean way.
• 59:28
  Speaker 7: I appreciate that if I do take a cheap shot
• 59:31
  Speaker 7: or punch down, even if it's briefly, it's because that's
• 59:34
  Speaker 7: true to our experience, that everybody has a mind that
• 59:38
  Speaker 7: occasionally thinks something that you don't approve of, and I
• 59:42
  Speaker 7: think that's valuable to talk about as well. Meaning like this,
• 59:45
  Speaker 7: I say this all the time, but the sweetest nun,
• 59:47
  Speaker 7: the most gentle woman in the world, sometimes is stirring
• 59:50
  Speaker 7: her coffee and she's like, I don't know why, but
• 59:52
  Speaker 7: I don't like whatever. You know what I mean, I'm
• 59:54
  Speaker 7: not I won't say it, but.
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, I wanted you to go there. And just.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 7: Example I usually give is I'll be on a plane
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 7: or something, I'm like, I don't know why, but I
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 7: hate the back of this guy's head, like I fucking
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 7: hate the shape and fucking this dumb hair. So one
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 7: of the unifying things you can do. And I know
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 7: I'm having my cake and eat it too. But if
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 7: I do make a joke that's cheeky or a little
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 7: bit wicked, it's because I'm trying to demonstrate shamelessly and
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 7: innocently that all of us know how lonely it is
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 7: to be stuck in these fucking outdated biological spaceships that
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 7: because of the wiring and the pattern recognition and the
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 7: judging and the labeling and the consumerism and everything, that
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 7: all the impetus that we're constantly being flooded in your brain.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 7: It's like a fucking washing machine filled with marbles, and
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 7: shit's flying out sometimes, and it's lonely and isolating and
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 7: honestly encouraging of dark and weird thoughts to not say, hey,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 7: sometimes I have a thought like this and it's fucking weird.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 7: And if I can use my platform to make people
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 7: feel less shame, that's great. And sometimes it might be
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 7: at the expense of whatever, like some joke that you're
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 7: not ooh, that you're not supposed to say that, yeah, okay,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 7: and here we are and here we are. You're also
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 7: not supposed to think that, you're not supposed to feel
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 7: that you're not supposed to do that, but we do.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 7: I have a joke in my New Hour about taking
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 7: my daughter on a carousel, even though my friend like
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 7: couldn't find his daughter, and I could have helped him
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 7: look for his daughter, but it's a whole story. I'm
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 7: not proud of that story. They found her, I.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: Can't find my daughter. Okay, I'm gonna go with that's.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 7: Exactly the joke. But that to me using a high
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 7: status position loud voice, I'm talking, let's go back to
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 7: being Bonobo's babies. You know what I mean, loud voice.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 7: I'm up high and I'm in the light. So that's
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 7: an alpha position. And to use it instead of championing
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 7: myself and telling you all my virtues and all my
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 7: gloriousness like a dictator and how ineffable I am, instead
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 7: being vulnerable enough to be like I should have not
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 7: gotten on the carousel. That's more valuable because people are like,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 7: you know what, dude, in this flawed, imperfect thing. Sometimes
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 7: I do that, And if and if you can laugh
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 7: at me and then still quietly be like I've done
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 7: stuff like that, that.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: Well, that's the most common.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 7: What is gained if I get up and just tell
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 7: you how fucking great I am and how perfect I am.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 7: And you know what I hate most comedy is just
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 7: going up on staying and saying, isn't food great? Isn't
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 7: sex great? Isn't winning great? Isn't isn't that's it? Isn't
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 7: money great?
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: It's something I remember back in the day.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 4: It was always there was some women that would come
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 4: on stage, a lot of women where my big women
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 4: at that shit used to be like the first motherfucking my.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: God, wear my big women at him that.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 7: You know, what I hear constantly is who's drinking? But
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 7: that is who's drinking? You guys partying and then you're
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 7: into drinking, but that is also Look, I have respect
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 7: for anyone doing comedy, so I'm not gonna, you know,
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 7: broadstroke dismiss anyone. But if I go on stage and
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 7: do a bit about how great alcohol is in a
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 7: club where everyone's drinking, nothing has happened. People who already
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 7: liked alcohol like alcohol. If I can go on stage
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 7: and make them, and it doesn't have to be alcohol,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 7: but just kind of like take the other side for
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 7: fun and get people to laugh at not even something
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 7: that challenges them, but like something a little bit more
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 7: interesting than just like, isn't aren't orgasms great? Isn't dopamine great?
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 7: Isn't you know? Or a story where you go and
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 7: I say, get the fuck out of here, clown, and
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 7: everyone cheers for me.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I thought you did that in spades with the
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: run you do on sexuality and the Kinsey scale. I
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: thought it was really funny and interesting and certainly not
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: something I've seen anyone talk about in a comedy set.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: I thought that was really unique.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 7: Thanks, man, I really appreciate it.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: Let's take a break.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. What are
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: your parents? Are they alive? What do they think of
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: your comedy? I imagine they're religious. Still.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 7: You know what's really really weird is that my parents,
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 7: my mom was more was very religious, and that was
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 7: I wrote it in my book that my brother and
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 7: my dad had sports and me and my mom had Jesus,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 7: and that was like our interest. We knew the stats,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 7: you know, you knew all the stats, all the teams.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 7: But like, as my mom's gotten older and I've gotten
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 7: older as well, that's how it works. I've gotten way
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 7: more spiritual and my mom's gotten a little bit less
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 7: interested in that stuff, which which is not you know,
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 7: she's eighty two and that's not my favorite. Only I've
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 7: said before, I'm like, I wish it would be if
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 7: my mom would be like comfortable and feel held in
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 7: the world and be religious in a way that I
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 7: don't share all of those beliefs, but like felt secure
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 7: in the universe. That's my hope for her, and that's
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 7: why now I push it on her a little bit,
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 7: so at the tables of turn. But answer where I
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 7: think you were going. My parents don't really know. I
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 7: think they don't really know what to make of me
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 7: to this day.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: Do they watch it? Will they watch this new special?
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah, the last one that came out. I think they
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 7: watched it with some church friends and then they just
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 7: call me and we were so humiliated, and I'm like,
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 7: you see, this is full circle, man, because me saying
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 7: don't bring your friends is me also saying don't bring
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 7: your family. No, it's not about them. And what I
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 7: always say to my mom with all love and to
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 7: my dad as well as I go, it's not for you.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 7: And any artist that's making something with what will my
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 7: parents think, isn't giving me all of themselves? And I'm here,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 7: you know, I don't want to, you know, blow my
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 7: own horn, what is it?
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: Blow it to it?
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 7: But I want to, like mine deep I want to
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 7: share humiliations. I want to share vulnerable feelings. I want
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 7: to make fun of my parents, you know what I mean. Like,
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 7: I spent a lot of my life being like, yes, sir,
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 7: and and this is your show and I'm just you know,
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 7: I'm one of the one of your crew, you know
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 7: what I mean. Like, and it's like, that's fucking over, man,
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 7: I was.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: Just talking iry to interrupt you, But that kind of
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: informs the title. I'm not for everyone. You're saying, I'm
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: not for mom and dad. No, I'm going to be vulnerable.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do my thing. I'm definitely not for everyone.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 7: If it's for everyone, it sucks for everyone.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: It sucks, Amen, And that allowed for the people in back.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 7: That's really true. And dude, you see that in your
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 7: films for sure, you know what I mean.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: For everyone, but no, but gosh, for the people that
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: respond to them, it's such as that's the reason you
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: make them.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: They say, that's why we're in this.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: We're not in you know, Scrubs was not for everyone.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: You know, we're here doing a Scrubs podcast and all
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: the people listening obviously loved the show, but the show
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: was never a runaway hit. Every season we were like,
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: are we coming back? And that happened for nine years.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 7: I told this to Bill. I was like, that that show.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 7: I know. I said this to Zex's on the pod
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 7: three times and I'm sure we've talked about the episode
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 7: where j D is wondering how he'll die. He looks
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 7: at you, Donald and you're eating a sandwich, and he's like,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 7: heart failure, you know what I mean? And he looks
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 7: at him and then he looks at his own reflection
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 7: and goes, I don't know, stress. I have the chills
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 7: as I'm telling you this. I saw that stuff and
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 7: I was like, that's what you're supposed to do with
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 7: a platform. And again, we watched some popcorn shows. We
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 7: watch things that are for we're not you know what
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 7: I mean. We don't have to put down other things.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 7: I'm just saying there's a special place. I was just
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 7: talking to a comedian where I was like, the money,
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 7: it's for the discomfort of dealing with the people that
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 7: might be like, why did you make that joke about me?
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 7: But it's my fucking job. It's my job to risk it.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 7: That's really what the money is for, you know. Bb
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 7: King used to say, I do the shows for free.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 7: They pay me to travel. I do the shows for free,
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 7: they pay me to deal with the draining feeling. I
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 7: was just in Salt Lake City. I did four shows.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 7: I come back to the hotel, and I've been, you know,
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 7: making fun of my family, making fun of myself, sharing
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 7: like I said that story about the carousel, and I'm
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 7: just sort of like, you feel what my wife and
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 7: I call everybody calls a vulnerability hangover. You feel hollow
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 7: and tender. I was just rewatching Phantom Thread when he
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 7: does his show and then he gets the next day,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 7: it just cuts to him in bed. I don't want
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 7: to make it too dramatic here, but I'm like, that's
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 7: what the money is for. It's for this feeling of like,
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 7: oh my god, I just show my realness to a
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 7: lot of people. Yeah, I'm not one hundred percent of voyeur.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 7: Part of me likes being seen and celebrated. But a
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 7: lot of you goes like, I just really that was real.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: I think I first, I love that expression of vulnerability hangover.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: I think I felt that every time I release a film.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: I feel, of course, I feel like, oh my god,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: you rip yourself open uh. And then and then of
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: course you're you're judged positively or negatively. And then and
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: then people's watching and they don't and then there's then
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: there's just quiet and you feel a vulnerability hangover, yeah.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 7: And you feel empty and you feel tender, and you
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 7: feel just my wife is so good at it. But
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 7: there is like a rebuilding process and that's a whole
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 7: other podcast. But like getting your balls right, getting your
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 7: family right, having interests outside of this. There's a lot
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 7: of people in our town, you know, we never talk
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 7: about comedy or anything. It's really good for my spirit.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: You know. I was about to say, how does that work?
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 4: Like doesn't everyone when it's your profession and you're around
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 4: your peers.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: Do you guys talk about jokes all the time? Are
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: you on? Is this? You know what I mean?
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 7: Like I wouldn't call it on, you would love it.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 7: That's my answer is it's it's the best hanging with comedians,
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 7: especially if they're like minded comedians. There's still some ball
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 7: breakers that aren't my favorites. But if I'm hanging out
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 7: with Mike bro Bigli or I was just hanging out
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 7: Eddief did my podcast today, it's heaven because they especially
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 7: guys my age, men and women my age, they've been
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 7: through a lot of the same stuff. So you said
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 7: trenches earlier, but there is a like you're bonded by
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 7: having shared this experience and a lot of us we
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 7: were doing it alone, and now we all get to
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 7: get together and be like that was some shit, right,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 7: and like and support each other and you do.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 7: I have it with you guys right now. But it's
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 7: nice to be able to just go it's not weird
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 7: if I tell you I'm working on a bed about
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 7: this and and just kind of say it and then
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 7: they kick it back to you.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: I love that with you. When I do Pete's show.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: By the way, for interested, I've done like you said,
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: I've done Pete's Show three times, and you can check
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: it out. It's called you made it weird?
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 7: Right In sex defense, we don't say the name of
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 7: the show a lot.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah you don't.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 7: There's no reason you should really know it.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: I've done it three times. I should be definitive.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 7: No, I'm saying you shouldn't. Every time you've done it,
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 7: I haven't been like, welcome to you made it weird.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 7: I'm here with that, but it never comes up.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: But the reason, the reason I keep doing it, honestly, Pete,
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: and I hope we graduate to being real friends in
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: real life. But I I just love coming and laughing
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: with you. I think we have we.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: Haven't coming and laughing.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 7: I love coming in that order to the release laughter.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: I love laughing with you. We have a very someatimes
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: of humor. And the last time I did it, Donald,
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: we brought up Glen Gary Glenn Ross and spent the
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: bulk of the episode just just purely probably poorly quoting
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: Glengary Glenross.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 7: I would put it to Mammot himself that it was excellent.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 7: I mean that movie all all my comedian friends, most
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 7: of them are obsessed with that movie, and it goes
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 7: all the way up to Seinfeld. He's not my friend,
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 7: but like I know a lot of comedians that love
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 7: that movie because it talks about the brutality of selling
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 7: your wares, of like salesmen that have to use their
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 7: personalities to like kind of get ahead. So of course
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 7: comedians would relate.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: Well, they must have loved our episode, Pete, because that's
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: mostly what we talked about.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Jodo Ros and I text each other exclusively in Glengarry.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: Quotes, Yeah, I've exhausted the only gifts available on I
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: message to you. I believe there's only a couple. There's
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: always closing going to Safari. Yeah, you help me find
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: better Glen Glen Ross gifts. Yeah, Pete, thank you so
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: much for coming on. I Am not for everyone. Is
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: on Netflix on October twenty fourth. That's right, not a
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: question mark, an exclamation point and audience, I'm telling you.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: I saw this live with Bill Lawrence and I. I
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: remember it was a holiday, right, Pete was Labor Day
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: or Memorial Days, one of those days, and we were
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: both kind of tired, and we said, let's go. It's
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: Pete's hilarious. It'll be great, and we went and I
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: genuinely laughed my butt off. It's so funny and so smart,
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: and I encourage you all to check it out. Thanks man, Donald,
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: say something nice about Pete.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 7: Donald, You're welcome anytime. He's salty.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Donald, come, don Are you willing to talk about
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: Are you to talk about Star Wars? Where are you
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: on Star Wars? Because that's Donald's favorite thing to talk about.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 4: He knows Bill, he knows Bill Burr. He was in
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 4: Star Wars. That's how I found out who Bill Burr was.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 7: Actually, because he was in The Mandalorian.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: Because he was on the Mandalorian, I was like, who
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: is this guy?
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: Pete? Could you fill an hour with Donald talking about
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: here the key?
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 2: I had been watching him like on the Chappelle Show
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: back in the day and all that.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 7: Oh yeah, that Racial Draft.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you can do Marvel Star Wars stop motion
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: animation as a focus. Uh, sports basketball. If you could
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: fill an hour with that, Donald will crush your podcast. Uh,
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: bag of dits.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not gonna We're not gonna go into that.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: Pete Holmes, we love you. The special is called I
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: Am Not for everyone. Yeah, but Pete, in my mind,
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: you're for me.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 7: You're definitely, and that's what we've learned. Thank you, definitely,
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 7: really really cool.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 2: You are fucking Batman dude, you are bad.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 7: Thank you? Oh yeah, the Batman series is on YouTube now.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 7: We're dropping every Thursday. By the time this comes out,
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 7: they might all be out, but we're firing everybody on theh.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: Why didn't you ask Donald or me to be a
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: character and that fucking thing.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 7: If we thought Donald would do it, leave you out
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 7: of it. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I did your funny Friends, but I never got
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: the email.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 7: You'd be great. I mean we we still have a
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 7: lot of people to fer. We need a riddler. We
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 7: could do riddler, we can do. We want to do
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 7: poison Ivy commissioner Gordon.
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: Who could Donald?
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah you could.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 7: Be Gordon, Yeah you could be modern Gordon. But Mat
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 7: McCarthy is our Gordon. We already you already got Sorry,
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 7: who can Donald be? That's a great Gordon, the newest Gordon.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 7: I don't know, but the Batman.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: Impressions you do a nice you. You don't do impressions
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: on stage, but you are pretty good at impressions.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 7: They come out sometimes and it evolved from good to
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 7: pretty good.
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: And do you want to give us a quick al pacino?
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: And then we have to go.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 9: Pete, I want to say you thank you so much
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 9: for having me on his podcast. It's been wonderful to
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 9: sit with my friend zach Rath and Donald.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: Or I'll give.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 7: I like my aides to be presentable. I've gone with
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 7: my mouth. That's shore taking it out. It's a little
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 7: bit better without the gun.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: Al. We usually end the show by counting five to
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: six seven eight. Would you count us out? Five six,
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: seven eight is Alpha shooting? Hell yeah A five six.
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 5: Here's some stories that show we made about a bunch
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 5: of times and nurses in Jana, I said, here's a
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 5: story net. All s no, so gadder round you here,
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 5: our gadder round you here, our sweat show. Is that no,