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Transcript

You Can Have a Happy Marriage · Grace for My Home | Christian Women, Growing in Faith

• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Hello friends, welcome back to Grace From my Home.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: My name is Audrey McCracken and I'm so glad to be back with you again this week.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad you've joined me.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I hope that you're doing well.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: We are doing well.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: We've had some bumps and bruises this week but we're making it through that.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: We would start our first four-part series on marriage and so we are, and I'm excited about this.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: I hope that it is a blessing to you.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I hope it's a blessing to many.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: I do want to give a little caveat, a little disclaimer, before I get started, because I'm excited about the message, but there's a reason why it has taken me a while to get it together and I want to share that with you.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: What I want to share with you is what I truly believe about marriage, after being married for 23 years and spending time in God's word, reading it and searching it for help in my marriage, and so I want to share that with you and I hope that it will be life giving.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I hope it'll be encouraging.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I want to share that with you and I hope that it will be life-giving.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I hope it'll be encouraging.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: But I want to tell you that I'm fully aware that there are many women out there who have really struggled in marriage.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're struggling now, maybe you have been through a divorce, and one of my concerns about sharing on this topic is that it can sound like because the things I'm going to share with you can make it sound like marriage is easy.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Or you know, if you are struggling in marriage, that there's something wrong with you, because marriage is good and I just want to make I just want to put out a disclaimer right now, before I even get started that I know marriage is not easy, and I know many women who have given their all to see their marriage fall apart and there is no condemnation in Christ.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: And so what I want to share with you today is what I truly believe, but it's hopefully full of grace and truth, and as I've been preparing to share this with you, I've been praying about it and I feel like the Lord gave me a word picture and I want to share that with you.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: See, what I'm going to share in the next four weeks is what I believe God's word says about marriage.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: As to the best of my ability, I'm going to put it forth plain and clear, but it is the standard Now.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: God's word is our standard, and it makes me think of years ago when we fought wars on foot instead of in tanks, or at least horseback, and people went into battle and they clashed and they did hand-to-hand combat before the army would go out a standard bear, and that standard bear would carry the standard or the flag for that army.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: And that was necessary, because in the heat of the battle you get turned around and you don't know what way is forward.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: You don't know because you're fighting hand to hand, you're dodging swords and arrows, and when you come up for air it's really easy to not know what's the way forward, what's the path forward.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: And so a soldier would look for that standard and that's the direction he would head in.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: And so that's what God's word is like.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: It's the standard and it shows us the path, it shows us the direction.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: But none of us are following the standard perfectly.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: But it's important to have you know.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: You might say well, if none of us are following it perfectly, then why have it?
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Because it shows us the direction to go in.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: You know, if I don't have an ideal, if I don't have an idea of how God expects me to walk in this thing either a marriage or my life, then how do I know what direction to go into?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what the standard does, that's what the Word of God does.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: It gives us the direction and we keep going in that direction, even imperfectly.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: We may have taken some hits in the battle, we might be dodging some arrows, we might be hobbling forward, but when I look up and I see the standard, then I know where to go.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: And so my prayer is that in the next four weeks, the messages I share with you, the insights that I give to you, my prayer is that it would be a way for you to look up and say, okay, that's the direction I'm going in, even imperfectly, that's where I'm going to walk towards.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: And if that in any way is helpful to you, if that's encouraging to you in any way, then I'm thankful.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: And so that's how I'm coming to you this week and the next three weeks.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I'm humbly sharing with you what I believe, but, like anything else that I share with you, if it does not help you, then you can throw it away.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: You're not going to hurt my feelings.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I want to encourage you, I want to help you see things with hope and not to condemn.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I've heard some really crazy ideas, but people have taken God's word and, in my opinion, twisted and hurt people with it.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: And God's word is a gift to us.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: It is to bring us out and not to beat us with.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: God does not beat us with his word.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: His word is to help us find the way, the way out and the way to him, and so that's how I want to handle it this next couple of weeks, and that's why it's been hard for me to put this message together, because we're dealing with hearts.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: You know we're dealing with very sensitive places in people's hearts and I want to treat those places well, I want to treat them with kindness, and I don't have it all together either.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: You know I struggle in the very things that I'm going to share with you this week, because this is where we live.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: You know this is where the term says where the rubber meets the road.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: You know this is where we live, and it's not easy, because marriage is basically two people, two sinners, put together in one house and then, if they have children, then they have other sinners in one house, and we're trying to learn how to love, how to get along with each other.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: So it's work, even for the best, it's work.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: And so today I want to start off with talking about God's perfect plan.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: We have a little glimpse in Genesis 1 and 2, god allows us a little glimpse into what could be, into what should be, into what he had planned.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: He had planned good things for mankind, for us, for his children.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: He designed this beautiful world and in this beautiful world he put a beautiful garden, a lovely garden, and in that garden he placed Adam.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: And Adam was not like anything else he had created.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Adam was a living soul and he breathed his own breath into Adam.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: And he created Adam in his own image.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: And part of that image meant that Adam had the ability, the capability, the capacity to love and be loved.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: We, as human beings, have the amazing capacity to enjoy intimate relationships with each other and with God.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: That's how God made us.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: We're unique and we're made in the image of God, and part of that image is that we can give and receive love.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: So God puts Adam in this garden.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: He gives Adam assignments.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Adam named all of the animals.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: God brought all the animals to Adam and said whatever you name them, that's what they will be named.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: And then, when everything was named and everything was accounted for.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: God said it's not good for Adam to be alone.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: He needs a partner, he needs a helper, he needs somebody.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: And so he causes Adam to go to sleep and from Adam's side, he takes a rib and he creates a woman.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: And then he brings that partner back to Adam and Adam says this is bone of my bone, this is flesh of my flesh.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: And it says that they were naked and not ashamed.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: They were intimate with each other, they loved each other, they were one.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: And that's how Genesis starts off.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: This is what God's plan was.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: God's plan was for man and woman to love each other, to support each other, to care for each other, to love one another and to love him, so they would have fellowship together and they would have fellowship with him.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Now we know it didn't stay that way.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Right, sin entered the picture.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: And as soon as sin entered the picture, division is what happened, is what resulted.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: When Adam sinned, he ran and hid from God.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: And when God came after him and he asked him what are you doing?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: What's going on?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Adam blamed Eve for his sin.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: So Adam is separated from God.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: And then there's division between Adam and Eve.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: No longer are they partners.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: They're pointing fingers, and so sin kills anything and everything it touches.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: And so, after this, god pronounces the consequences for Adam's sin.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Because of his sin, they have to leave the garden.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: They can no longer have that intimate relationship, that close fellowship with God.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Every to leave the garden, they can no longer have that intimate relationship, that close fellowship with God.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Every day in the garden they're separated from God and there is a change in the relationship between the man and the woman.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: God says to Eve your desire will be towards your husband.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: The way I read that, the way I've studied it, is that no longer will your desire be towards God.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: He is not going to be your aim, he is not going to be the one that your heart longs for.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: It's going to be your husband.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: It's going to be your partner.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: You're going to long for that man and he is going to rule over you.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: So now strife has been introduced into the marriage relationship.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: There's a fight for control, and that was not God's perfect plan.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: That is the result of the division that came because of sin, and ever since the garden relationships have been strained Wars, division, strife.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Those things are real and it's part of our sinful nature when we fail.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Our very nature was marred, marriage was marred, everything that is touched by sin is marred.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: It wasn't completely destroyed, but it was negatively affected.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: And so we see throughout the course of history, throughout the Bible, there's division.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Now, god, he didn't leave them in that state.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: He told them.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: He made a promise right there in Genesis.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: In Genesis 3.14, he says he says he speaks to the serpent and he says so the Lord, god, said to the serpent Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: You will crawl on your belly and you will eat the dust all the days of your life and I will put enmity between you and the woman and between your offspring and hers.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: He will crush your head and you will strike his heel.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Offspring and hers, he will crush your head and you will strike his heel.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: So God is saying there is someone coming, an offspring of Eve, who will destroy you and who will make right what has happened, and that was Jesus.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: We know that that was Jesus.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: But for all those years, until Christ came, this curse reigned over the earth and there was strife between man and woman, there was competition, there was not a good relationship between men and women and between mankind and God.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And Jesus came and he paid the price for our sin, for mankind's sin.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: He paid the price.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: He redeemed us.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: He was our redeemer.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Through his death, through his resurrection, through his shed blood, he broke the curse.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Now we believe that and therefore we are saved.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: We believe it.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Someone told us Maybe it was our mom and dad, maybe it was a friend, maybe we heard about it on TV but someone one day shared the gospel with us and we believed.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: And because we believed, we were born again and we can walk in the newness of life.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Praise the Lord.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: We can walk in the newness of life, praise the Lord.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: But with that, the curse has been broken and we can walk in freedom.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: See, strife was not a part of God's perfect plan for marriage, but it was a part of the curse that came as a result of sin, of mankind's sin, as a result of sin, of mankind's sin.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: And Jesus came to deliver us from sin and from the curse that it brought.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: It says in Galatians 3.13,.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: So through his death, through his resurrection, jesus made a way for us to walk in healthy relationships again.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: He made a way for us to be intimate with each other and with God again.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: He brought forgiveness, he brought mercy, he brought grace, and we can walk that way in our homes.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: We can walk that way in our marriages.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Our marriages can be marked by love.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: They can be marked by mutual respect and trust.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: You know we can walk with our husbands with a shared vision.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: You know we can be an example to the world of what God intended originally when he created man and woman and he put them in that garden together.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: And I'll get to this in the next few weeks.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: We are a reflection of Jesus Christ in the church.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Paul says that.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: He says it's a mystery and we'll talk about that in the next couple of weeks, but we can be a light to the world that God redeems.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: God didn't mean it to be this way.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: He has a plan and the thing is we have to know that, so we have to believe.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: It's just like our salvation.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, you can't believe in Christ if you don't know about him.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: If nobody showed Christ with you, then you can't believe.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: And it's like this when it comes to a redeemed marriage, if you don't know that, it doesn't have to be this way that God wants us to walk together in unity, with mutual love and respect for each other, that that's possible.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Now, if nobody tells us, then how do we know?
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: And so today I'm telling you it's possible.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: It's possible to walk with your husband in love.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: It's possible to have a shared vision.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: It's possible to walk in grace and mercy and forgiveness.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Strife does not have to rule in your life and in your home.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: It doesn't have to rule.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Jesus made a way and we have to.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: First of all, we have to believe that.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: If we don't believe that's possible, then nothing else I say in the next four weeks is going to matter.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: See, that's the foundation is that Christ made a way, because he died, because he broke this curse, that we're going to always live in strife and we're always going to be fighting over who's in charge.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: And you know, because he broke that, we can say yes.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Now it's not easy.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: I don't want to make it sound like marriage is easy.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: It's not easy.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: It's never meant to be easy.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: I don't even think you know it was supposed to be easy with Adam and Eve.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: But it's possible.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: You know there's a difference between being easy and being possible.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Jesus said with God, all things are possible.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: He didn't say with God, all things are easy, and that goes for marriage too.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: We have to.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Now that we know, now that we know that it's possible, then we have to renew our minds in God's Word.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: We have to find out, we have to dig into the Word, we have to search for the buried treasure, we have to find the principles that relate to marriage and to relationships, and we have to learn how to walk in new ways.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: I've lived my life for what?
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: 22, 23 years not being a Christian, doing things as best as I knew how, but not living in the newness of life, not walking in the fruit of the Spirit.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Because the Spirit didn't live in me.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: How can he produce His fruit in me?
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: He didn't live in me.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: And so when I come to Christ and the Holy Spirit comes inside of me and he starts doing a work in me and I start learning how to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit, I'm like a baby.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: I'm a baby, and so you have to get in the Word and you have to figure out okay, lord, what are you saying in your Word?
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: You know where's the treasure in your Word.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: How do I renew my mind in this?
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: What do you say about walking in healthy relationships?
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: And there is a lot of good stuff in God's Word, but first of all we have to believe that it's possible.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: And in the next four weeks, that's what we're going to talk about.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: We're going to talk about how to walk in a healthy relationship with our husband, with God, with other people, but I'm going to relate it towards marriage and I think God's going to speak to us Amen.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: I think he's going to help us to grasp it, to understand, to have hope that he cares about us, he cares about our marriage, he cares about our homes.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: He will teach us how to get the strife out of our life and how to love another person well, and he can do that.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: But first we have to believe that he wants to, that that's his will, that it's possible.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: And so today I'm here to tell you that you can have a happy family and that you know, even if you're the only one trying, god will honor your obedience, he will honor your obedience, and you know, and we can learn life-giving principles, and not only are they life-giving, but they're life-changing.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: And so in the next few weeks, that's what we're going to talk about.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: But today I just want to come to you and say it's possible.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: It's possible, it's probable, and God is cheering you on, amen, and I'm cheering you on and I'm saying, hey, let's do this.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Let us let Christ transform us, change us, teach us and, in the process, transform our marriages and our homes, and let us be examples to the world that Christ has redeemed, that marriage is good because it's God's idea, and that in Jesus it's never going to be perfect, but he is our standard and as we go towards Him, we won't get lost in the fray.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Amen, god bless, have a great week.