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018 - XVIII The Tramp as Cook · Gentle Art of Tramping

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  Speaker 1: Chapter eighteen of the Gentle Art of Tramping. This is
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  Speaker 1: a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
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  Speaker 1: For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
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  Speaker 1: Recording by Rito Bucho's The Gentle Art of Tramping by
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  Speaker 1: Stephen Graham, chapter eighteen. The tramp as cook. Then did
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  Speaker 1: he study some half hour, But as the comic saith,
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  Speaker 1: his heart was in the kitchen, I think. Coleridge was
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  Speaker 1: annoyed by the man who interrupted him with the words
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  Speaker 1: them's the jockeys for me, referring to some stake puddings
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  Speaker 1: which had been brought before his eyes. Coleridge was regarding
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  Speaker 1: some choice bit of Scottish scenery, the Falls of Clyde,
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  Speaker 1: I think, and a rough, unlikely looking fellow had used
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  Speaker 1: what Coleridge had considered absolutely the right adjective concerning them majestic,
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  Speaker 1: and the poet turned on him to learn more of
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  Speaker 1: this verbal grace. Then a toad leaped from the mouth
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  Speaker 1: of the princess, who had previously given a pearl. Them's
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  Speaker 1: the jockeys for me, said he, regarding the steak puddings.
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  Speaker 1: It is recorded somewhere in Coleridge's Table Talk. I read
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  Speaker 1: it some twenty or twenty five years ago, and the
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  Speaker 1: two expressions have remained with me majestic and them's the jockeys.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, I adopted the word majestic as applied to
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  Speaker 1: scenery there and then that, and the Shakespearian majestical. It
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  Speaker 1: seemed I did him wrong, being so majestical. It has
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  Speaker 1: almost become a visive style. That, however, is by the
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  Speaker 1: way the poetry of our life and of our book
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  Speaker 1: shall be interlarded with. I may not say puddings. One
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  Speaker 1: does not lard with puddings. With the fatness of cooking
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  Speaker 1: and eating. The dawn stars make one hungry. Noontide makes
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  Speaker 1: one hungry, and so does afternoon. The tramp is loathe
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  Speaker 1: too tight in his belt. I have described in another
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  Speaker 1: book how one should make coffee, and I will not repeat.
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  Speaker 1: But the first thing about it is love. As I
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  Speaker 1: wrote in a verse during my tramp with Vachelle Lindsey,
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  Speaker 1: coffee should be made with love. That's the first ingredient.
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  Speaker 1: And the chief cause of coffee being just indifferent is
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  Speaker 1: your indifference towards the coffee. I feel this is also
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  Speaker 1: true of the most of cooking. You must bring a
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  Speaker 1: loving heart to the primus or the camp fire. No
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  Speaker 1: soured personality can be trusted to stir the beans, far
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  Speaker 1: less make the coffee. I have not examined the psychology
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  Speaker 1: of good cooks, but I imagine few of them are bitter.
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  Speaker 1: Few of them are egoists. Watch a thorough going egoist
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  Speaker 1: over the camp fire, cooking for you. But I ask
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  Speaker 1: too much. Take the pan from him, take the pot away,
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  Speaker 1: he will be saying to you. I had a very
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  Speaker 1: interesting letter from Thomas Hardy, apropos of a letter I
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  Speaker 1: wrote to the Times, approving entirely what I said. Meanwhile,
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  Speaker 1: the coffee pot has tilted on its stone and is
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  Speaker 1: pouring its goodness to the ants and the beetles. It
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  Speaker 1: is a mishing maluco. It means mischief. You must take
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  Speaker 1: over from him, Let him sit himself on a rock
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  Speaker 1: and pour forth, but not tend the fire and let
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  Speaker 1: the coffee pot pour forth. Lindsey wrote a reply to
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  Speaker 1: my recipe for making coffee. His was a recipe for
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  Speaker 1: making tea. He did not omit love, But as well
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  Speaker 1: as tea leaves, he recommended leaves of various books to
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  Speaker 1: be put in the pot. I do not know that
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  Speaker 1: I care for this tea from book leaves, and I
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  Speaker 1: suppose old bindings. I have had it indoors, given me
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  Speaker 1: by some dusty recluse in his portentous library. Qua tea,
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  Speaker 1: it was not so excellent, Qua soporific. It was good.
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  Speaker 1: One may put in a little philosophy. However, with both
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  Speaker 1: tea and coffee hast any philosophy. In thee Shepherd, we
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  Speaker 1: need a little for our repast, but we want no
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  Speaker 1: soda to bring out the flavor. Lindsey, being an American,
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  Speaker 1: knew little of tea. That is why we traveled almost
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  Speaker 1: exclusively on coffee. In any case, a practical detail to
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  Speaker 1: be noted. It is not wise to make coffee and
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  Speaker 1: tea from the same pot. The flavors adhere even to
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  Speaker 1: a very well rinsed vessel, and spoil one another. If
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  Speaker 1: there are two of you, each may carry his own pot,
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  Speaker 1: one for tea, one for coffee. But it is simpler
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  Speaker 1: to be unanimous as regards the choice of beverage. In Russia,
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  Speaker 1: I tramped almost always on tea, because the tea is
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  Speaker 1: so good there and needs no milk. In some districts,
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  Speaker 1: milk is difficult to obtain in America. However, evaporated and
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  Speaker 1: condensed in cans are obtainable everywhere and are conveniently carried.
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  Speaker 1: You need only make two tiny perforations in the lid
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  Speaker 1: of the condensed milk tin. You blow through one, and
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  Speaker 1: it drives a thin stream of milk out at the other.
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  Speaker 1: You cover these perforations with a leaf or a piece
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  Speaker 1: of paper, and thus sealed. The can is carried safely
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  Speaker 1: in the rucksack. Of course, if you open with a
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  Speaker 1: can opener, it is likely to be difficult to keep
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  Speaker 1: your milk for more than one meal, or it will
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  Speaker 1: make an unpleasant mixture in your rucksack. China tea has
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  Speaker 1: the advantage that it needs no milk. Indeed, milk spoils it.
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  Speaker 1: It should be made very weak, and it is then
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  Speaker 1: more refreshing than Indian tea. I prefer a good Chinese blend,
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  Speaker 1: especially on tramp. It is, not, however, possible to prepare
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  Speaker 1: tea in any elegant fashion. There is no five o'clock
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  Speaker 1: in the wilds. You brew a pot of tea at
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  Speaker 1: any hour, which taste suggests. The luxurious may carry a
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  Speaker 1: small tea pot and merely boil the water in the
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  Speaker 1: can or coffee pot. But the rougher method is not
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  Speaker 1: without a peal. You can sift two spoonfuls of tea
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  Speaker 1: into your coffee pot when the water is boiling, and
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  Speaker 1: at once take it off the fire. A better plan
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  Speaker 1: is to cut off a small square from your mosquito
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  Speaker 1: netting and tie the tea in that your first mugful
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  Speaker 1: will be rather weak, but your second, third, and fourth
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  Speaker 1: progressively stronger. Unless you are able to pull out the
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  Speaker 1: little bag of swollen tea leaves, wash the bit of netting,
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  Speaker 1: and it is ready for next time time. It will
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  Speaker 1: last several weeks if you do not lose it. I
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  Speaker 1: find you can walk further after tea, but coffee makes
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  Speaker 1: you more sociable. You talk more after coffee. If missus
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  Speaker 1: Thrale had made the Great Doctor coffee instead of tea,
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  Speaker 1: Boswell would have missed much more of what he said. Though.
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  Speaker 1: Tea indoors is very different from tea out of doors.
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  Speaker 1: As a domestic drink, it is productive of high spirits,
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  Speaker 1: but out of doors it enkindles purpose. You walk and
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  Speaker 1: think and are silent. It is good for artists and writers.
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  Speaker 1: Forms and ideas rise unbidden to the mind. What good
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  Speaker 1: thinking comes after the morning tea on the road, whole chapters,
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  Speaker 1: whole stories, curious conceits, and fancies. But after coffee you
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  Speaker 1: cannot keep anything to yourself. And if you have no companion,
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  Speaker 1: you take to singing. If, however, you are very tired
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  Speaker 1: or wet through with rain, coffee has more power to restore.
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  Speaker 1: It is better then to make it without milk. Put
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  Speaker 1: seven or eight lumps of sugar in the pot, and
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  Speaker 1: heat water and sugar together, not too much water, when
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  Speaker 1: quite hot sizzling, float a double portion or even treble
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  Speaker 1: portion of coffee on top. Do not, for this potation
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  Speaker 1: use mosquito netting. The coffee should then be watched, for
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  Speaker 1: it may rise suddenly and become wasted. It is as
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  Speaker 1: well to stir it, and then a useful device is
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  Speaker 1: the using of cross sticks. If you make the sign
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  Speaker 1: of the cross over a pot of coffee, it will
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  Speaker 1: not boil over, say the cowboys. And it is a
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  Speaker 1: curious fact that two dead twigs placed crosswise over the
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  Speaker 1: top of the coffee pot seem to cast a spell
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  Speaker 1: on the brew. The brew should simmer for a quarter
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  Speaker 1: of an hour or more. Then add a little cold
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  Speaker 1: water and stir up. The grouts will go to the bottom,
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  Speaker 1: leaving a fine liquor. Though very strong, this type of
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  Speaker 1: coffee is not bitter. You sip it, it lasts a
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  Speaker 1: long while. It is much better than medicine for you,
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  Speaker 1: and will drive out any amount of damp from your system.
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  Speaker 1: I think it better than coffee and rum, or warm
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  Speaker 1: damson gin, or any of the concomitants of aspirin. No
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  Speaker 1: tramp should carry aspirin. It is depressing to mind and soul,
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  Speaker 1: and generally causes you to give up adventures. Bread and
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  Speaker 1: cheese and coffee make a good combination, as of course,
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  Speaker 1: do cake and coffee. Any sort of coffee and cake,
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  Speaker 1: bread and sardine and coffee go down very well. To
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  Speaker 1: say nothing of fried trout. Directly you get your fish.
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  Speaker 1: Scrape it and clean it, a dirty job, but you
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  Speaker 1: get used to it, wash it, and fry it. If
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  Speaker 1: you can eat it within a quarter of an hour
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  Speaker 1: of its swimming in the stream, you get some of
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  Speaker 1: the hidden and lost potentialities of trout, the inner worth
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  Speaker 1: of those delightful pink spots, those scales your color loving
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  Speaker 1: eye is loath to scrape. However, remember the coffee. It
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  Speaker 1: can simmer gently while you fry. Bully beef is redeemed
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  Speaker 1: by coffee, so is makinochie. Eggs go well, but they
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  Speaker 1: must be fried. Boiled eggs go better with tea. Wash
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  Speaker 1: them and then boil them in the same water from
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  Speaker 1: which you will make the tea. It improves the tea.
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  Speaker 1: But be careful of the eggs as they boil, that
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  Speaker 1: they do not dance together and crack one another, for
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  Speaker 1: in that case your tea water will be spoiled. In Poland,
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  Speaker 1: and in border states and in Russia there are excellent
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  Speaker 1: hard bannocks which soften when heat it. You slit them
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  Speaker 1: and insert butter. In Russia they are called bubliki. They
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  Speaker 1: sell them in the East end of all great cities.
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  Speaker 1: They go remarkably well with tea. In Scotland, Norway, Denmark,
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  Speaker 1: Sweden and Finland there are excellent oaten and rye cakes.
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  Speaker 1: They are delightful with Indian tea and milk, not so
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  Speaker 1: good with China tea. America, marvelous country provides the greatest
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  Speaker 1: variety of breakfast foods, cakes and pies in the world.
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  Speaker 1: What can compare with pumpkin pie, BlackBerry pie, peach pie.
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  Speaker 1: You go into an unromantic looking ville or burgh, and
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  Speaker 1: surely come away with an unbroken round of pie to
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  Speaker 1: civilize the camp cuisine. On a long tramping expedition, one
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  Speaker 1: is bound to study to some degree the body and
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  Speaker 1: its needs. The army marches on its stomach, so do you.
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  Speaker 1: An attack of indigestion can make a strong man almost
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  Speaker 1: too weak to move. Beware of the cakes of bread
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  Speaker 1: sold in the market place in Mahommedan cities. What in
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  Speaker 1: Central Asia the SARTs and usbeks bake. They are difficult
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  Speaker 1: to swallow, even with wine, and once inside, become a stiff,
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  Speaker 1: indigestible mass. Millet bread is also difficult to assimilate. Maize
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  Speaker 1: flour bread is also, upon occasion, bed to tramp on.
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  Speaker 1: On the other hand, no harm comes from any variety
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  Speaker 1: of wheaten and oaten biscuit. One of the tramp's temptations
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  Speaker 1: is toward wild fruit. He can easily make himself very
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  Speaker 1: unwell by eating unripe or bitter ripe fruit, even when
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  Speaker 1: boiled with sugar. Again, if the coffee pot gets dirty
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  Speaker 1: inside and brown curds adhere to this site, you will
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  Speaker 1: find you are drinking something rather upsetting with your coffee.
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  Speaker 1: There is no need to scrub the outside of the
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  Speaker 1: coffee pot, but cleanliness within should be de rigueur. Dried apricots,
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  Speaker 1: when obtainable, are ideal to take on tramp, but they
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  Speaker 1: should be washed before cooking. The stones should be broken
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  Speaker 1: and the kernels thrown in with the flesh of the
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  Speaker 1: fruit and some sugar an ideal dish. Potatoes are difficult
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  Speaker 1: to carry, but when obtained, can be easily cooked under
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  Speaker 1: the seemingly dead ashes of your camphire. They are greatly enjoyed,
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  Speaker 1: as all know who have, even on a picnic, roasted
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  Speaker 1: them and dandled them timorously in their fingers. It is
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  Speaker 1: just as well to hoist them out of the ashes
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  Speaker 1: on the end of a sharpened stick. If the stick
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  Speaker 1: will not go in, the potatoes are probably not yet cooked. Similarly,
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  Speaker 1: various birds, having been plucked of feathers, can be cooked
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  Speaker 1: under the ashes. The fire ought to have been burning
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  Speaker 1: an hour or so and have accumulated much ember before
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  Speaker 1: cooking a bird is tried, but a hollow may be
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  Speaker 1: found for your chicken, and the ash is carefully raked
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  Speaker 1: and heaped over it. Perhaps, however, the best way to
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  Speaker 1: cook a young chicken is to fry it. It is
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  Speaker 1: easily fried over the glowing embers, and is immensely tasty.
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  Speaker 1: Chicken with a tang of wood smoke is a feast.
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  Speaker 1: One cannot think of having a chicken every day. But
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  Speaker 1: enough has been said to show that the cuisine of
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  Speaker 1: the out of door life is not utterly primitive. There
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  Speaker 1: is a variety of good things for those who are
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  Speaker 1: not ascetics. And besides all these good things, there enter,
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  Speaker 1: by chance into the manage mushrooms so shockingly overlooked by town. Bread, fog, wine,
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  Speaker 1: especially the van dupey, which is sometimes almost a free
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  Speaker 1: gift to the wanderer, honey just taken from the bee,
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  Speaker 1: Devonshire cream if you are in the English West Country,
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  Speaker 1: and also bountiful cider. There are good cheeses, though out
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  Speaker 1: of door all cheese is good. You can take your
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  Speaker 1: fresh pettis suiss along with you. In France, you're grayere
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  Speaker 1: your stilton. There is some good cheese in every country,
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  Speaker 1: and all manner of rough cream cheeses in the mountains
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  Speaker 1: goat milk cheese is apt to make one very thirsty,
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  Speaker 1: so one should have wine to go with it. In
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  Speaker 1: America there is the never to be forgotten strawberry shortcake.
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  Speaker 1: You can also get a brick of ice cream if
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  Speaker 1: you carry a chilling box. In Turkish villages, you can
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  Speaker 1: go into the restaurants and lift such delicacies as stuffed peppers.
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  Speaker 1: Even the thought of them is an appetizer. The bon
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  Speaker 1: viuver can carry with him his pettyvere upon my honor.
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  Speaker 1: This tramping business is not altogether an eating of roots
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  Speaker 1: in the desert. Still, when provisions run out and you
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  Speaker 1: are far from human habitation, you may be reduced to
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  Speaker 1: eating grass. That is the reverse side of the picture.
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  Speaker 1: End of chapter eighteen.