Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Tommy Do Disobeys Bridger

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Tommy Do Disobeys Bridger · I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: When I.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Invited you here I thought I made myself perfectly clear
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: When you're a guest in my home You gotta come
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: to me empty-handed I said no gifts, your presence is
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: presence enough And I already had too much stuff So
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: how do you dare disobey me?
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Welcome to I Said No Gifts, I'm Pritchard Weininger I'm
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: afraid I may be blacking out. We're just starting. Even
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: before the episode begins, I've got health concerns. That's just
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: an energy I like to bring into your day. And
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: this is all– earlier this week, I had my yearly physical.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: My doctor could have acted more impressed. I'll say that.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: I don't feel like he was wowed. He was almost
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: ignoring me. So that's a shame. And now we're seeing
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: me black out on camera. So this is going to
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: be an interesting episode. If I fade or collapse, I
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: don't know. What else is going on? Almost absolutely nothing.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: I saw all kinds of cars on my way here.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: I saw big cars. I saw small cars. I saw
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: a Toyota Matrix without brake lights. I thought that might
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: be interesting to share. And I think that's essentially my life. I–
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: let's see if I have any business. Well, I do
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: have a note here. Men need to find a new
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: personality trait outside of collecting watches. Men have got to
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: stop collecting watches. I don't understand this at all. But
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: it's a– every fifth man is very into getting watches.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Where does that come from? What void is it filling?
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: Is that just a lack of interest in other things?
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: I don't understand it. But I guess I needed to
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: bring that up. And then just, of course, Patreon. I'm
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: here to hassle you. Patreon.com slash I said no gifts.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: You go there. You sign up. You join a community
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: of dear friends. And then you enjoy bonus content. And ultimately,
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: you support the podcast unless you want to tear the
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: podcast down, which is also an option. You can do
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: all kinds of things with your life. If you want
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: to tear the podcast down, you've got the keys. Take
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: that drive. Okay, so I haven't blacked out yet, but
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: everything I've said felt like that's what was happening. Let's
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: get into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's Tommy Doe. Tommy,
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: welcome to I Said No Gifts.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: It took you an hour and a half to get here.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: It took me an hour and a half to get here. Hi.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I was in Venice, not to give a location. Not
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: to name a city. Not to name a city or
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: an address.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Venice is a neighborhood.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: It's a state of mind, really, Venice. Venice, California. But
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: traffic is very heavy. I'll be the first.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: Something about Los Angeles I've noticed. Yeah.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I'll write that down. Maybe tell it later.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Flesh that out. Explore that idea.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: More cars.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: What did you do on your drive here? Did you
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: listen to music? Did you fight with other drivers?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I've been really in a Carly Rae Jepsen kind of mood.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I hear she's coming out with a new album.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Double album.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Double album, day and night. And I was revisiting Emotion.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Of course. Kind of her.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: The big one.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: High point.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: High point, yes.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Not that she's had a ton of low points or anything,
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: but that feels like.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: That's the one that entered my brain.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Kind of like leveled up in a way.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes. Yeah.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, emotion. So you were just blasting emotion.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Emotion into the B-side, which I love.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: And then I love the most recent one, The Loneliest Time. Oh, yes.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's the– I'm trying to think of what songs. Oh,
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: that's got the one that sounds kind of like Daft Punk.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes. The album cover is cornucopia themed. It's
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: like Thanksgiving.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm kind of picturing this.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's like orange burnt sienna. Yeah.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what an interesting way to go with that.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Well, she was like, well, Thanksgiving.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: It happens once a year.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's when she released it, too.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Is that true?
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I do believe so.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: That's confusing. That's bad marketing. Right.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there is a song on it called Go Find
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Yourself or Whatever, which I really enjoy.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's, yeah, that, I need to get more into
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: that album. I do love the, again, it sounds like
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Daft Punk. It's about, it's like about Drugs or something.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Sure, sure. I don't remember specifically.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but now I'm so confused about this.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: I can pull up my phone if we want to
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: get there.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Let's get there. I'd like to call it out. Carly
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: Rae Jepsen, The Loneliest Thanksgiving.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: The Loneliest Time.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: The Loneliest Time featuring Psychedelic Switch. That's the song. And
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: you're into... Let's see here.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Go Find Yourself or Whatever.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Go Find Yourself or Whatever. That's a song?
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I think it was second to last, maybe.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Put It to Rest?
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: The second to last of the album.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It's not listed here. Oh, man.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'm making it up.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: There's also The Loveliest Time.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Right. That was the flip side album.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, kind of the sequel, right? The sequel, yes. So
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: maybe it was on that one.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's, yeah.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: And that's probably the Thanksgiving one.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, no. Okay, no.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Now I'm wrong. I was looking at the loveliest.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: The loveliest time.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Now, again, kind of back to confusing marketing.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: She's doing two inverse albums.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: So Lonely is Loveliest and Day and Night. Mm-hmm.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Okay. It's interesting introducing opposites to the broader world.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: You know, she does something that I really appreciate in
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: a pop star is she goes away. She comes, she
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: sings her songs. Mm-hmm. She kind of does what she's
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: like really excited about. And then she's like, you know what?
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Give me three, four years. I'm going to think about this.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: It feels like that's less and less because it feels
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: like you just have to constantly be in the conversation
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: or you vanish. Yeah.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: You have to like be driving around the Beverly Center
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: hoping to be seed. Please dance to my song. Yeah.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: You have to have a new album every four months.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: And the like single release thing is like eight singles
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: before you even get to the album. Right.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: And I don't blame anyone.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: No, I hear you.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: What a nightmare.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: People have to eat, but at the same time, give
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: it a think.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Just give it a couple, two years.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Give it a beat.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Two years.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Who knows who you'll be?
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you might have a new idea. You might have
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: a double album in you.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: The other thing I like about her is it seems
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: like she's always doing extra credit. I feel like she's
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: the student that does extra credit. Do you know what
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: I mean?
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: She's going away for three, four years.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: She does her full assignment and then does extra. And
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: I think that's a nice texture for a pop star.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: It's not necessarily edgy or cool, but … Right. She's
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: getting above a 4.0.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Exactly. And she is just who she is. She's not like,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go country. Not that I don't love Joanne.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I do. I've never listened to Joanne.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: It's really fun. Okay. I do like it. But she
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel the pressure to have to.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: She's just like, these are my songs.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: What do you think?
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Hey, I hope you like them. I appreciate that.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: She is also kind of a miracle and she could
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: have been a one hit wonder in such a huge way.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Very true.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: I think she's kind of our new Kylie Minogue.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's, wow. Okay, you heard it here first. I
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: really agree with that. I did not connect those dots.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: No, I think that kind of makes sense.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: It absolutely makes sense, 110.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: So you were just blasting Carly, driving down whatever freeway
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: you get to this area of town.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: God, I was in Beverly Hills at one point.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you saw most of Los Angeles.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Yes. I saw the clown alcohol liquor store.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Oh, from Clueless.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: From Clueless. Saw that. Yeah, took a tour.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Wow, that's incredible.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was pretty great.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't do the long drive. Like the last
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: time I really took long drives like that was during
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: the pandemic when it was such a dream to drive around.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: To the ocean.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, drive out to the ocean. There was nobody on
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: the road.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: There were dolphins.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: There were dolphins. Nature had come back for just a
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: brief period.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Very quick, yes.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: But you're in Venice because you're dog sitting.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I'm dog sitting this little sweet terrier named Taco. So cute.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: The mayor of Venice.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: Does Taco require much care?
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: No.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's great.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, not at all. Barely eats. A little concerning
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: how little he eats.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Kind of like, huh.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: Don't need to call the owner.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: How are you up? How are you walking?
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Those little dogs, my dog eats so much food. But
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: she's like 75 pounds. Those little dogs probably eat less
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: than a cat.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Well, the thing is that most dogs wait for food.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: They're like, my day revolves around food. I'm actually only
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: going to move as far as my food will allow.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Taco does not care.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: It's kind of cat-like.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Kind of cat-like, yes.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Can the food just always be in the dish?
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: That's a miracle.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Day to night.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: Day to night.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: To next day sometimes. Wow. And I'm like. Should we
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: go on a walk today? What's the vibe?
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: Does the dog need to be walked?
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Like taken out? Yeah. Like I walk it and it's
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: very energetic.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Very always scheming that taco. Always has a plan. Right.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: MLM kind of vibe. Oh, interesting.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: I'd like you to buy my leggings.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Yes. Three steps ahead kind of vibe. Right.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: When you're staying in somebody else's house, how comfortable are
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: you as far as just moving around, eating their food?
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Not comfortable. Give me 20 minutes. 20 minutes.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: That's pretty impressive.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Wow. Sometimes because I live in a smaller place, it's
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: a bigger house, and that's a little scary to me.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, right.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't know what looky loser in the house.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Who's lurking.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Who's lurking.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Are the fences high enough? Can we keep? unwanted beings out. Yeah.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: Is your place in an apartment or a house?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: It's like a townhouse, like a little. So it's exposed.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: To the outside world, though. It's like not within a
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: giant apartment building.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Right. It is exposed to the outside world. You do
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: have to go up some stairs and pass a gate.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: So there's a little more. Whereas a house is like
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: door street.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the thing. Like I've lived in a big,
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: huge apartment complex for a long time. And then now
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: I'm in a house and the fear goes through the roof.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the fear of car in living room. It
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: grows exponentially. I could wake up with a Toyota in
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: my living room.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: It's kind of amazing how often cars drive through buildings.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, we don't talk about it enough. There was one
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: the other day.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: Where was this one?
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: It was, I mean, I saw it. I guess maybe
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: it was Fail Army. Maybe that's where I did see it.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Not the news. It was Fail Army. But to the
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: point where I was like, what's wrong? What is it?
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's, I feel like that's a news story constantly.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Constantly.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: It feels like that takes work. If I'm going to
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: drive through a building, it's going to be on purpose.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Right, right, right.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: The idea of just like slipping off the road and
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: suddenly you're driving to like a McDonald's.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is like what happened? And we never know.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: No, we never get the answers.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: We never get the answer of what happened. And I
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: would love to know what happened. Because I would say
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: I don't– it's normally during the day. It's likely it's
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: not drunk driving.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: It seems like it's just.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: Is it just you're turning– Putting makeup on? Trying to
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: turn on Carly Rae?
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: Turn it up just so then suddenly.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: My phone's– yeah, something like that. Yeah, pedal to the metal.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: You grew up in Boston. Did you drive growing up?
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I did drive growing up. I am not a fantastic
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: driver and I don't– yeah, it's pretty tough being Asian.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I'm not a good driver. I really carry a lot
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: of weight on me.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Well, I balance it out by also being a terrible driver.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, good. I would say I'm good for 10 minutes.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's impressive.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: And then I get pretty bored.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: It's a boredom issue?
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, I drove an hour and a half here.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine?
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: But it's like, hello, this again, still, still drive, still road.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: This is the thing about driving I love is having
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: to just focus on nothing for a while.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Right, yes.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Just being forced to.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, of course, I'm still– Does your brain wander?
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Yes. So that's what I like about it.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: The shower principle. Yes.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: And the shower principle never works for me. I don't
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: know why. And I take long showers. What am I doing?
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: You're busy in there. I'm busy.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: I'm listening to music a lot of the time. Yeah,
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: I like– I rarely– but I guess I take showers
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: in the morning when my brain isn't working anyway.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Okay. You're not a morning person.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: No.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Such a terrius.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Libra.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I knew it.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: No.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Just talking. After a wild guess. Just talking.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I knew it. I knew it.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: Very Libra. What are you?
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: I'm a Cancer.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: Cancer.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Very sensitive. Oh, interesting.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: I need to just kind of memorize at least one
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: trait about Libras that I can think about when people
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: ask me because I don't know anything about it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I just got into it this year. Okay. Yes. I
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: accidentally saw a psychic.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Accidentally how?
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: At a Halloween party.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I saw a psychic at a Halloween party. She told
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: me something that was very spooky. It all came true.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: And then I told my friend and he was like,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: you should see my astrologer. Oh, boy. And I was like, what?
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: He's been seeing the same guy for 34 years.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: And I was like, you have an astrologer, but not
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: a therapist. Honey.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: I support that.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: Where's his number? Get him on the horn. Sounds like
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: worth the money. Wait.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: So what was this horrible prophecy she had for you?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: It was a great prophecy, actually. It was like about work.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: And she said a new offer is coming in on Thursday.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: You say yes by Friday. It's not going to feel
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: good is what she said. Whoa. But take it. You're
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: going to do it in April, and it's going to
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: open a new door for you.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: This came true?
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: It all came true.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: This is some sort of setup.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's Truman Show.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: She's also with the astrologer.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: She's behind that wall.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're going to empty your wallet. This is a full,
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: long scam. Oh, yeah.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: She's in the lobby. I was saying that if I
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: were to be a little more schemey, to infiltrate Hollywood,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I would pretend to be a psychic and go to
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: the executives and be like, I see a tall Asian
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: man as the next star of your movie.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: I bet that would work. It kind of feels like–
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: Most of these people are just looking for someone to
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: say something concrete. Yes. So you show up and tell
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: them that. They'd be totally on it.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: It would be kind of– yeah. That's a great movie idea.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Clock it.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: Wait. So this psychic, was it a tarot reading?
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: It wasn't a tarot reading. She was an intuitive guide.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm not familiar.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Yes. And she was both an intuitive guide and a medium.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: So she gave you the option.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: But at this party, people were going into the room
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: and actually leaving the party.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: She's ruining the party? She's bringing the mood down?
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah. She was like telling people very disturbing things about
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: like passed on relatives, etc.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: And my friend Zach was like, don't go in there.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, now I got to. But
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I asked for the intuitive guy.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: Okay. That's probably for the best.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: That's for the best.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think like when you say I want
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: to talk to a dead loved one.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: The mood is not always going to be that great.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: No, especially when Monster Mash is playing.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: Do that in a private ceremony. Wow. An intuitive guide.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: I need to get into this. I've only ever had
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: tarot readings. Okay. No, I had my chart read.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: A friend gave that to me as a gift.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: And how was it?
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: It was fine. I don't remember anything about it. I
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: have the voice note. It was from 2019. The one
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: thing that I, and I've said this a million times,
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: but he did predict, his big prediction was that rom-coms
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: were going to have a renaissance.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: And they have.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: And they have.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Here we are.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know why they had anything. Well, it's probably
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: my fault that I didn't write a rom-com.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, I see. I see. But isn't it supposed to
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: be about you?
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: Well, ask this guy. Ask Angel. I see.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: A little too on the nose. Angel astrologer? I don't know.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: His real name is probably Richard or something. Yeah.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: I do love to go to– L.A. parties frequently have
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: something like this.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, something fun, gimmicky. I had a great time and
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: now I have a new religion. Scary.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Very scary. Well, there's something else we should probably talk about.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: I've been avoiding the subject. The podcast is called I
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Said No Gifts. I was excited to have you here today.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: And now I've just been dealing with some personal feelings
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: because it looks like you've brought a gift.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Yes. Hey, I'm so sorry. Thank you. I did, against
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: your wishes, bring a gift. I did not have time
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: to wrap it. I hope there isn't an address that
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: could be seen on it.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: No, we'll keep that away.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: From the camera. And I also, I mean, obviously, try
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: your best not to buy from Amazon Prime. The oceans
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: are on fire.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: Okay, this is a good... That's a good sound, though.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's five. Wait, is this a card? It looks
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: like a deck of cards, but it also looks like
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: a branded game.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: A Rummy style card game called Five Crowns.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: And the game isn't over till the kings go wild.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: And boy, do they ever, hun.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Wait, tell me about this.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, so I was like, should I bring a joke
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: gift or should I bring a gift that's like I
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: genuinely use? I discovered Five Crowns three years ago. It
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: has changed the way my friends and I interact.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Like, we're in Paris, we're playing Five Crowns. We're in Barcelona,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: we're playing Five Crowns. Epcot, hun, Five Crowns is on
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: the table. Oh. I am telling you, Five Crowns is
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: the perfect game to, one, catch up with. Okay. If
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: you haven't seen a friend in a long time. Or, like,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: to just keep your hands busy. It's the perfect amount of, like, thinking,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: but also able to, like, respond to questions, ask questions,
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: et cetera. Unlike Bananagrams. Bananagrams is— Requires full— Everything, right?
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Could not be more quiet. Oh. No one's talking.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because you're concentrating.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: You're concentrating on the level and you're meeting each other
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: all the time.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: But this is just enough, what is it, stimulation for
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: you to, like, keep kind of the shower principle.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: Right. It's a little bit of driving, boredom.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Keeping your hands busy.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes. It's fabulous. And I would have gotten
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: you the... The travel version, but I just didn't know
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: how slippery those were. And like, it needs to be
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: full size.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: This is, I want to see these. So who introduced
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: you to this?
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: My friend, Jessa. when we were on tour together and
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: we would um yeah go around town playing this like
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: In Chicago and we're in Minnesota, we're always playing five crowns.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: And can you explain the basic rules? Like what is
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: it similar to any game that is also not rummy
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: because I don't know how that works?
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes. Okay. So basically there are five suits.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: And you're looking for either runs or sets.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: So 3-3-3 or 4-5-6. Okay. If they're 4-5-6, they have
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: to be in the same family color suit. Or if
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: they're three to three, they can be any of them.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: And then the gameplay is there is a deck of
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: cards face down, and everyone has three the first round.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: The next round, everyone has four, five. It goes up
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: like that. And you are trying to get sets or
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: runs to get zero. Whoever gets to zero first puts
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: their card down, and then the next person has one
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: more chance to get the lowest amount of points or
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: get to zero. Am I making sense?
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Does it seem like I'm learning something?
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of information thrown at you.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: Because I'm learning nothing.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Usually we do a test round.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. This is the sort of thing where, I mean,
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: we could try doing it on the podcast. Is that
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: going to be exhausting for people? But any time a
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: game is brought out at a party and someone starts explaining,
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: I just black out until the game begins.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: And then I'm just like, well, I'll just figure it
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: out as we go along. Well, you just figure it out.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Because the rules are just, they just wash over me.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: That's a good life lesson, don't you think?
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: I think it's a very good title. Yeah.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I think, what do they say? A genius still is
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: worse than an idiot in motion.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: Oh, I've never heard this.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Maybe I just made that up.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: I love that. A genius still is better than an idiot.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: No, it's worse.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's worse.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: An idiot in motion is better.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, right.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Than a genius still. Yeah. The words escape me.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: Do you think this is something that we could try
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: playing right now? I think so.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know about your listeners if they're going to
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: be intrigued.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: We'll try to chat while we're doing it.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah. Do we need both? Put the thing I
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: said to the test.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. We'll see if this actually works or if
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: the game sucks. Let's just find out.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: Let's see here. Do we just need one?
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we just need one deck here. Okay, so in
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: the deck two, it's, so the first round, because you
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: have three cards, threes are wild.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: And then there's also like jokers in here, which are wild. Here,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: I'll show you. Okay. So I'm going to divvy up
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: a set of three.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: And then here's the pile. Okay. And here's the, so
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: it's going to look like this. I'm going to show
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: you my cards. And it's okay to show you your cards.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Oh, you can, okay.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: So basically what we have here is I would be done.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: You'd be done because you have a king, a joker,
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: and a jack.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Because I have a run.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, of stars. Jack, queen, king. Oh, okay.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: So then, say I didn't have this. Let's just pretend
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I didn't have that. The gameplay would be... Oh, you
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: know what? We have to shuffle them.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: I kind of like playing a game with a totally
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: unshuffled deck of cards.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Everything's beautifully laid out.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Really soothing to just get the exact cards you need.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, so basically, so say it's my turn first.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I would have the option of either picking this one.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: The ten of stars.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: If this helps me.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't, so I would want to pick this one,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: and I get a seven. So then I would discard one,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: preferably the... highest card because at the end of it,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: you want the lowest amount of points.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: You want the lowest amount of points. Right.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: So I would discard here. So now it's your turn.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: You would be able to pick either the king of
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: diamonds or this deck right here.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: Okay. Well, let's see here. I'm going to Well, I'm
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: going to show you.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just show me your cards.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: I currently have two jokers and a queen.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: So you're at zero. Oh, you're right. Yeah, so you're zero.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Yes. This is, again, because these were given to me
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: before it was shuffled.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Right. So say you're zero.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: So I'm winning big.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: You're winning big. And then so I would have one
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: more chance to get the lowest amount of points.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: But you're mad at me now because I'm winning.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: I'm so mad. Okay, and then, so six, right? So then, obviously,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I have no set or run here. Right. So I
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: would put this here, and so I would add up
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: these points. So six plus five is 11, plus seven
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: is 18. I have 18 points for round three.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: The next round, we have four cards.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Five, six, seven.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: And you're still trying to get it all down.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Yes. The entire time. And then once you hit, like,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: six cards, you can do three and three.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes basic sense.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah, once I actually put it into motion, I
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: think I'm going to have a delightful time with this.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Do you like card games?
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: I love card games. I just hate that I play
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: them so infrequently that when somebody brings the idea up,
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: I'm like, well, everybody else has a working memory. And
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: I'm going to have to sit here and either fake it.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: Or ask someone to explain every element. Even like Blackjack.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I need you to walk me through the
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: most simple game you could possibly play.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Right, right, right, right.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: But then once I'm into it, I'm going crazy.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: This is so innocent.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: And I love the idea. I do love a game
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: that's just like, it fills in silence. You know, that's
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: why conversation is able to just continue and continue and continue.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: This is what it does.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: And when there's a lull in the conversation, it's like,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: whose turn is this? Oh, your turn.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: Right, exactly.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, is it my turn? Yeah. And you're like, oh,
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: my God, can you believe she said that? Oh, it's
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: your turn.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: It's delightful. This is the sort of thing that makes
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: me say get me into a retirement home as soon
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: as possible. Get me around a table with some seniors
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: and a game and I'll have the time of my life.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: Do you think we're going to end up in retirement homes?
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Is that– Honey, we might not make it to 2030.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: I can't picture a future where any of us is
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: old enough. To be in a retirement home.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: If we're lucky.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if we're lucky, they'll still exist.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: But, yeah, and I also have kids to force me
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: into one.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: So that's also tricky.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, pro and con. How do you feel?
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel like I'm going to be
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: terrorizing my neighbors until I die.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: Right, right, right.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: I do solidly think I will be a senior who
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: goes missing, like a silver alert situation. I just know
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: that's my future.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: A silver alert. Okay. Do people kidnap seniors? I guess
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: that is what a silver alert is.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: I think it's more of a senior kidnaps themselves or
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: goes to the grocery store and forgets where they were
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: going and then drives off into the wilderness.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: I know so little.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And so it's less of a– I think– well,
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: I mean there's the famous example this year of a
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: senior being kidnapped, Savannah Guthrie's mother. But.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: I don't think that was a silver alert situation. I
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: think silver alert's a little bit more like grandma went
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: to the store.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: We don't know where she is now.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: She's missing.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: She's missing.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: It's not like the same as an Amber.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Amber, somebody got taken.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: It's like someone got taken.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: But silver alert... But it's the same noise.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: It is. The same horrible noise that makes me mad
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: at the victim.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: It just makes me... I'm scared that I'm resenting whatever
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: Nissan Sentra they've been taken in. Right. And it's... They
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: should have a soothing noise. Yeah.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Just like a warm. Yes, yes. It's the same noise.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: Amber alert, a silver alert, and like a projectile missile
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: are all the same.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: They're all the same level.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: They're all the same level.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: They should all have a different sound.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: And I guess they're all emotionally maybe on the same–
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: it's complicated.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: I also think that we've been so– where am I
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: trying to get to? Yeah.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: Let me guess.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Desensitized to this noise or, like, the alarm. I was in,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know, Ross earlier today, and I was walking
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: out with a bag, bought everything or whatever, but alarm
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: bells go off.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Oh, boy.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: No one flinched.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: No one even looked.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: No one cared. I was like, all right, could have
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: stole whatever I wanted.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: You should have.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I could have gotten those Uggs I've been looking at.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: This is good to know. I'm headed to Ross after this. Really? Well,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: I might as well.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Ross for less. But yeah, so I think that maybe
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: we should think of like maybe animal noises. That would
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: be strange.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Like an elephant roaring.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Amber alert. Duck noise. That would– my ears would
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: be up. Yeah.
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: I would be like, well, what's happening? Yeah.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: What is going on? I'm curious. Yes.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: I'm curious enough to help.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: But, yeah, like even fire alarms, you'll be in a
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: crowded place and a fire alarm will go off and
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: people might, like, turn their head.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then they go back to– Like enough already.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Enough with the drills. Haven't we drilled enough?
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: Give me the real thing.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Have we drilled enough?
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So is there a name for the missile alert
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: or is it just national emergency?
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I think national– I think look out. Run for cover.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: I don't think.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: They named it. Wait, and that happened. That happened in Hawaii?
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Is that right? Do you remember that? There was an emergency.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Pearl Harbor?
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: There's something I remember.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: From around the 40s. I think that's what it is.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: No, I feel like maybe during the pandemic or something,
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: there was somebody set off like the nuclear warning. Oh, man.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: People were going nuts.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I did not know this. This missed my desk.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: So I guess I– well, I hope I never hear
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: the noise and I hope it's not an Amber Alert.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: It is. Now that I know Silver Alert is just
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: a missing.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, who cares?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: It's kind of not as extreme. I guess it is extreme. Sorry,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: all lives matter. I'm so sorry.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: You don't care about seeing your lives. I brought you
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: here to catch you in this.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: I knew it.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: I knew it.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: I knew you were going to bring me down a cul-de-sac,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: a mental cul-de-sac and just catch me. God.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: No, I just feel like silver alerts are a little
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: bit more keep it. It feels like the family. Send
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: it to the family.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: The rest of us, I don't know.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: I'm looking forward to it. An old person. I don't
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: know them.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know. And also, it's always like the make
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: and model of the car. I like the idea of it.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: We love that and we're hoping it's working.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: We're hoping it's working. But the second red Honda goes
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: into my ear, it goes out the other. I don't
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: even know.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: I see eight red Hondas now.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You are blacking out.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: I'm in the middle of a parking lot.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is getting dim. All the walls fall.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so excited about this game. Wait, so you
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: were on tour when you learned about this?
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes. I was on tour and we played it.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, you name every city, we brought it with us.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Every bar, everything.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: Right. And you were touring doing?
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: I used to be a figure skater.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: With, I don't know, Disney on Ice. Okay.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: And I bet you've talked to a million people about this.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: I know, we can discuss.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: But I'm curious about it. Like, were you a character?
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Sure. Yes, I've been there. I was there for so
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: long that, like, I played every tall male character.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: Incredible.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: There is. Yeah, Mr. Incredible.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Gaston.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: No, never Gaston.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there were. Okay, I say every tall. You name one.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I'm not that one.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: It falls apart immediately.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: It falls apart.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: The rest of the time you were the seven dwarves.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes. I played Aladdin, Prince Naveen.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: Who's Prince Naveen?
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: He's the princess and the frog prince.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, great character.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: It's my favorite prince.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: He has a cape.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Oh, you were in a cape on ice skates?
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: On ice. And, you know, a big note I would
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: get is, Tommy, you have a princess. You are not
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: alone and you don't have a prince. So please leave
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: the cape alone. It was so tempting. And he's jazzy.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: And I've played, like, Shay, the exact opposite. And he's
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: so robotic and like not my favorite.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: Right. How did you get, obviously you knew how to
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: figure skate, but then how does that lead to Disney
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: on Ice?
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: It's such a small community. And when you don't make
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: the Olympic team, they kind of go to that locker
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: room and go, okay, who here didn't make the list?
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Come with me.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: There's somebody standing in the parking lot waiting for you.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, with a car full of wigs. Put these on.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Snap those photos.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: That sounds like an incredible job. That sounds like a
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: good time. I don't know.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: It's really fun. It's actually like a really fabulous way
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: to travel.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, totally.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: I've been to South Africa twice. Wow. Can you imagine?
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: And you would probably stay at the places for a minute, right?
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Yes. I was in South Africa for, I think it
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: was a month and a half.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: Had all my stuff stolen.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, wait.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: From your hotel room?
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: From my hotel room.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. What a nightmare.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: The first time. Little known fact. This is a little
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: like if you have homeowner's insurance or your parents do,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: they cover like theft. Yeah.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: I didn't know that.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Interesting. So you guys know. But yeah, it was kind
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: of crazy. Wait, should I tell the story? Do we
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: have time?
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you can absolutely tell it.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Okay. So basically, we were in apartment-style hotels.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: And the keys had the room number on the keys. Okay.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: In the hotel.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: Right, right.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: So obviously, some people who are well-versed in travel, I'm
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: such a space cadet.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: I am.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I need assistance. I need people to guide me, which
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: is a lot of what Disney on Ice is. It's
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: like they just give you a piece of paper. There's
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: like your Starbucks is next week.
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: Right, because you're in a new place every month.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what do I know? But some people took that
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: plaque off. I did not. I kept it in my
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: coat pocket. My coat was stolen at the gay bar.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: Jesus. The path of theft is crazy.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: They went to the hotel. They went in. My roommates
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: were in the room sleeping. Right. And my roommate, she
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: has night terrors before this.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine them now? They're pretty– they're clinical.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: They're something to call the mayor over.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Yes. So then we had our own security. Disney on
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Ice has their own security. And they're like, we're going
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: to try to.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: Find– This cat burglar.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Who could it be? We're going to look at
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: the elevator footage. So the next morning, me and my roommates,
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: my roommates and I looked at the elevator footage. We
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: don't see who stole our things. We do see a
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: coworker cheat on his wife in the elevator. That is incredible.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Can you believe that? We were screaming, turn it off.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Turn this off.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: What did you do with that information?
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Nothing.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: There's nothing you can do.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, my ears were bleeding. My eyes were bleeding.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, turn this off. Turn this off. I
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: don't want to see this. This is none of my
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: business at all. Obviously, they're not together anymore. Obviously, there was,
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: you know, other problems. Yeah, of course. And we didn't
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: have to intervene. Not our business.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: Did that coworker ever find out that you knew?
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: I think eventually. Long after we had.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: That is such an incredible journey.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: No, I was shaken. I was screaming in a hotel lobby,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: shut it off.
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: That's worth losing all of your things.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My Nintendo Switch. Oh, God. No,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: my DS. Okay.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: What were you playing on your DS?
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: Super Smash?
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, sure, sure.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I'm a Super Smash girl and like a Mario Kart
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: kind of. Do you play Super Smash?
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: Who's your character in Smash?
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Do you think that who you are in Smash is
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: who you are in life? Is that what you're asking me?
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: We'll see.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's Kirby.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: I'm Kirby too.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Wow, Libra. I knew it. I knew it.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: That's why.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: Libra.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: Kirby's every time.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: But I'm also in it. I'm not good at it.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: I'm more of an annoying player and Kirby's really good
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: at being annoying.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Kirby's almost like cheating.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: It is a cheating character. The slamming. The flying and
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: slamming are just two things the other characters can't even match.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: I'm sure somebody who's good at the game could easily
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: defeat me. But when I'm playing just with friends or whatever,
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: I'm Kirby. You're unstoppable.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Unstoppable. Almost like what they call the girlfriend character. Oh,
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: what is that? The.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: It's like just a little bit of a cheaper character.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: So like very misogynistic, I know. But that's me. I'm
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: the girlfriend character. And I like it there.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, and he sucks characters up. Yes. He does it all.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: He copies other characters. He's a rogue. A rogue, a ditto,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: you name it.
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's really everything.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: He really is.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: And if I'm not in the mood to really play,
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: I'm Jigglypuff. That's just more of setting a vibe in
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: the game.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: Microphone out.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: I bet somebody's really good with Jigglypuff. I bet. Maybe
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: that's how I'll dedicate my time for the next year
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: is becoming good at using Jigglypuff.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: That would be iconic. I would love that.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: I bet there's somebody out there that's so good at that.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes.
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: And Jigglypuff deserves it.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: She does.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: She's a great little lady.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: Hey, she's a great lady. Overlooked. What is your... Do
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: you play Pokemon?
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: I mean, like I haven't played.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: Starter?
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: I usually go with a water starter.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: Like a Squirtle.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Actually, I think same.
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: I never do a leaf or.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Well, fire seems, well, fire is like, well, they're going
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: to get you.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: They're going to get you.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: Leafs is like, they're going to get you.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: Water, it just feels nice.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Water is just like water versus leaf. It's just ineffective.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: It's completely ineffective. It's helpful.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: But it's not like they're going to get you. You know,
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: with fire to leaf, they're going to get you.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely. Every time.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: They're going to kill you. So water feels like a
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: nice sidebar.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. Then I started playing, do you know this game, Pocopio?
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Wait, I heard about it. I haven't played yet, though.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: Incredible.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: Wait, are you a Switch 2?
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: I see.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: You're already there.
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: You're in it.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: I'm such a loser.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like Animal Crossing, though.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: I see, I see.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: But with Pokemon.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: I see, I see.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: I wasted so much time playing this thing.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: No, no time wasted. But it's a game where you-
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: That's where you're doing the shower.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: It's the sort of game where you get so into it,
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: you're like, wait, I'm building something that means literally nothing.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: That's how I feel. Okay. That's why, I mean, open
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: worlds make me so anxious. Oh. Because it's like, I
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: can't figure out this one. Why would I do this
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: other one?
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: And I just get lost.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: The only one of those I can do is Zelda.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: I can't do it.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: You can't even do that.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: No. I need linear.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: I need someone.
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: Put me on a path.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: Put me on a path. Tell me to do this, this, this.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Tell me to live my life.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: That, especially if you don't have a ton of time. Yeah.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: It's like, well, I want to. Play the game and
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: finish it.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: I don't have thousands of hours.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: No.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. What are dreams?
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: I'm pursuing so many noble things.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, I can't pursue the orc. You know in this.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: I can't pursue the goblin sword. Sorry.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: But the bandit was never caught.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: Never caught. Got away.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: Good for them.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Got away with my hard drives.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: Hard drives.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's nothing on them, just videos of me
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: and Woody.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like, you're gonna watch, like,
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: me skating videos of Naveen? That's more annoying for me
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: than anything.
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: I guess they probably just sold all the stuff.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: I guess. But, you know, it's one of those things
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: where I have a laptop for, like, since 2012.
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: So those parts don't even exist anymore. And there's definitely
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: black mold in them. You're sick.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: This is a new thing for me. I used to
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: keep a laptop for, like, eight years.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: And now it seems like that's, like, not an option anymore.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: No.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: They're built to three years.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. It makes me so mad. I mean,
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know how much this was before, but it
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: feels like their programming and their software gets rid of yours.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: If you're not on the most up-to-date device.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes. Bland obsolescence.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes. Obsolescence.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Word of the week.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: I feel that, though. It's so annoying. Are you going
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: to get the Duo?
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: No.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, I might.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: It's two grand.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: What are we talking about? What could you possibly be
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: doing on that?
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: The thing with the new phones that I realized as
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: soon as I buy a new phone is like, oh,
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: it's just like a better way to do everything I hate. Right.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: It's like, I don't want to be using it anyway.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: Why am I improving.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have nothing new to say. No.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: I'm immediately opening Instagram on this $ 1, 000 device.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Right, right, right. It's just the slap. It's that.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: I do want to see it bend. I want to
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: see the foldiness. I've never seen a folding phone like that.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: Me neither. I think they do exist.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: Yes. Other companies, I think, sell them.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: Yes. But I heard they crack so fast.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: I imagine.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: With a green line in the middle.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it just seems against nature. Yeah.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Glass doesn't bend.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: Weird. But I do need to get my hands on
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: one just to take a look. But I just don't need–
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: I'm constantly wanting to throw my phone away.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: Right. My phone was stolen. I've had a phone saga
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: the past three years.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: You have.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: I mean the– Do you want to talk about this?
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Stealing that's happening in your life.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's right. Thievery.
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: You're surrounded by thieves.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: I would say the phone saga– Oh, wait. Yeah, my
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: phone case was the third time. Third? Mm-hmm.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: What was the other one?
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: The other one was we were shooting– I was shooting
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: something in West Hollywood. I had some stuff in my car,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: my passport. Oh. Car window smashed, everything gone.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: Uh-huh.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: I had nothing to my name at that day. And
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: I was– I mean– I guess I should have been
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: more aware, but I was parked next to a cafe
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: that prints your selfie on the coffee. So I thought
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: we were safe.
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, you should have been safe.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I thought we were good.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: It's like being parked in a garage.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: That's what I thought. I was like, there are fake
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: roses at this cafe. We're pretty great. There's neon signs.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: We're good. Yeah, so passport gone. That was a whole thing.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: And then my phone was stolen two Halloweens ago. I
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: had just bought a new one, iPhone 15. And I
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: was at Ackbar.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: And I was dressed as Lena Dunham.
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: Okay, that was going to be my next question.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was Lena Dunham. I had a purse.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: That's a great last minute.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, it was very, yeah. I was like, great. Namely,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: Lena Dunham from Girls, season one, episode three.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Dancing on my own. All adventurous women do was my
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: costume that year. And yeah, phone snatched.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: Out of the purse.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: Out of the purse, gone instantly.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: I kind of admire snatching something out of a purse.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: Well, I called them being like, I called myself being like,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: you're such a loser. You need a phone? Just keep it.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: You need that bad? Just take it. And I was like,
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: Obviously not well. And I was pretty upset. And then
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: I got a new phone the next day. And I'm
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: the one who got that voicemail because it's on the cloud.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: So I just heard myself yelling at myself. And that
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: felt pretty cool.
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: That's kind of eerie. It's close to like calling yourself
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: and your self-answer.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very scary. But oh, wow.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: To actually get the person who's stolen your phone on
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: the phone, I would be terrified.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: I don't know. If they picked up, I would immediately
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: hang up on them.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to them. So I also have
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: the theft protection.
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: But this is a little tip for those listening. You
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: have to have Find My iPhone on for the theft protection.
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: To be valid. What is the theft protection?
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: It's like an insurance thing. So if it does get stolen,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: you can pay like I think $ 30 or $ 100 or
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: something like that.
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, interesting.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: Get a new one within the warranty year or whatever
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: that might mean.
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: But they don't tell you about having to turn on
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: Find My Phone?
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: Not until I got there and they laughed at me.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: They were like, why would you even come in here?
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: We can't prove that you didn't steal your own phone,
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: is what they said to me.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: And I went, great, customer service.
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: Touché. Wow.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've had this iPhone 14, the red color.
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Do you know the one?
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: Right, the, like, charity.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: The charity one with you two.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: Yes, teamed up with you two.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: That's right. They've teamed up with Bono. So that's been
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: my phone. Every time my phone comes out, everyone goes, wow,
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: what number is that? So then I— so I don't have
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: a case on it. I don't care.
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: No, why would you? Richard, I don't care.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: It's been smashed. And I actually think at some point
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is kind of chic, kind of
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: like Lindsay Lohan.
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's very— I mean, this is like rich person behavior.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: Sure, yes.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: Where it's just like, it doesn't—I don't even think about it.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: Honey, yes. It's like when Lindsay Lohan had the black
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: nail polish and they like— Yes. Yes, so— I was like,
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: this is kind of cool now. And then every time
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: I took a phone call, I would be cutting my face.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: I have scars from phone calls.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: I think it's like quiet luxury. It's like chaotic luxury.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Chaotic luxury.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: I think is what you would call that.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's like a beat up Birkin.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: I don't need.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: I remember the first time I really realized that like
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: how you could find a rich person online was how
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: bad their photos were on Instagram.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: I remember like I interned with this girl who clearly
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: had so much money and all of her photos just
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: look purposefully bad. And I was like, oh, she's just
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: on another level.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: Life is something else.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. She doesn't care. Yeah.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: She doesn't care.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: Her phone's probably destroyed.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Yes. And it's honestly so iconic to be like, you'll
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: find me.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. I'm not going to come looking for you.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: I'm not advertising for you. You'll find me no matter
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: how blurry I make this.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm excited about this game. We should play another
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: game here on the podcast.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: I need a number between 1 and 10 from you. Ooh.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: Do I tell you? Yes. Eight. Okay.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: I have to do some light calculating. You can promote, recommend,
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: do whatever you want. I'll be right back. Promote.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: Okay. I am coming. I am going to be in
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: the new X-Men movie. I'm just kidding.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: I was like, I wasn't aware. You should be. Let's
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: get you in it. Who's directing?
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: No, I wish. I'm one of the non-mutants. I just
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: live in the house.
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: You're just a total drag.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm cleaning up the rubble from all their trading.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: I think the thing I would promote is just find
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: me on Instagram, Tommy2underscoresdoe. T-O-M-M-Y, two underscores. I don't want
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: to talk about the two underscores. It's not one underscore.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: It's not no underscore. I'm in deep, deep legal battles.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: They won't even verify me.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: They won't?
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: No, we're in hell. They keep being like, we'll verify
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: you for $ 14 a month.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, honey, eat my bum.
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: The idea of paying for verification.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: For what?
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: I'm already paying with my life.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, my time.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: Yes, you're sucking everything out of me.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: You want my money too?
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Can't get verified on Instagram. Can't get on Raya.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: God, what's the Raya situation?
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Everyone I tell this to, they're like,
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: I can recommend you. I have, I think, 15 recommendations.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: Wow. Maybe they know about the iPhone Red.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: It might be. It's holding you back. It's the final
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: piece in the puzzle.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow. Everything will click once I get rid of it.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: Smooth sailing. The prophecy will come true. I ascend.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: Everybody find Tommy on Instagram. He's so unbelievably funny. We're
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: going to play a game called Invite List. I'm going
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: to start naming a list of celebrities.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, I've seen this.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah. You tell me invited or not invited. Right.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: You can say why if you want or why not.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Once we get to 10, that's the party.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: Great. Could I have my phone not to Google?
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: Because.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I saw an episode where you were like, Laurie Grenier.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: And I was like, who the hell is that?
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: You could also say, I'll explain. Because I also, while
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: I'm reading this, I'm frequently like, well, I have no idea.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, I see.
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: I'm so bad with celebrities, which is.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: Let's be there together.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: How did I end up? Well, whatever. I made the
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: game and now I'm stuck with it.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: But if you're like Shark Tank Lady, I'm like, yeah,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: Laurie Grenier.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: But the name Laurie Grenier sounds like Stella Lefty to me.
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. The fact that if I was asked
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: to just think of any of these names off the
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: top of my head. I can rarely name my favorite actress.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: And who would that be? Go on record.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: Laurie Metcalf, I love. Oh, great.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: That's a great one. That's one of my all-time favorites.
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: You can't go wrong with Laurie Metcalf.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: You cannot.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: Okay. I'm going to start naming. Glenn Powell.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: Not invited.
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: Carlos Santana.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Is that Santana?
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, that is Santana. Not invited. Not invited. Steve Harvey.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: Invited.
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: Why not? This is a good start.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: I'm excited.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: Steve.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: Ann Dowd.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: Oh. Wait, I'm thinking of Annie McDowell.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's a different. Ann Dowd is, she's a great
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: character actor. I think she's most famous. What have I
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: seen her in that I've loved? I know, I'm pretty
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: sure she's in the, obviously you're not inviting her.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: Not invited.
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: We love Ann Dowd.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: We love you, Endowed.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: I think she might be in the leftovers. Whatever.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she is.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: She's fantastic.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: I saw episode one. Was she in that?
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: No.
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: You got to watch the whole series.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: It's so good. Yeah, I do.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: You'll be so happy you watched it. Okay, Fran Drescher.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: Oh. Oh, Invited. Yeah.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: Steve Harvey and Fran Drescher. Jason Momoa.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Not Invited.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: Francis McDormand.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: Invited.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: Shaggy 2 Dope.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: From Shaggy?
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: From ICP.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: Not Invited.
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: Lester Holt.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Wait, Lester Holtz? Who is that?
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: News anchor.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Not invited. I don't know who that is.
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: Jude Law.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: Not invited.
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: Geena Davis.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: Not invited.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: Little Sims.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: Not invited.
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, great rapper. Margot Martindale.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: Not invited. I don't know who he's from.
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: Margot Martindale is fantastic.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: Are you surprised I work at Hollywood?
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: You're going to be run out of town after this.
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: Margo Martindale is going to get you blacklisted. No, please.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: My parents are immigrants. This is why. I don't know
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: a lot.
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: Well, then what's my excuse? Oh, no.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: You're a Libra.
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: I'm a Libra. Right, right. And what was the other
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: thing that I pick a water Pokemon? Was that the
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: other thing?
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a Squirtle. Squirtle, Libra, possibly Jigglypuff.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: Jigglypuff rising. Maxine Waters. Oh, yeah.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do her the disservice, so not invited.
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: Kaya Gerber.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, not invited.
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: Billy Bob Thornton.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Not invited.
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: Robbie Williams. Do you know who that is? No. He's
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: the British pop star who recently had kind of a
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: biopic movie made about him, but as a monkey.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, not invited. Stay away.
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: People apparently loved that movie, by the way. I haven't
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: seen it, but they went crazy for this thing.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: Rosalia.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, Invited.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: I love her last album, especially.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: It was fabulous, but I'm just... The thing is, I'm
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: kind of going to... I'm a little embarrassed to be
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: around Rosalia.
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? Oh, she's so cool.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: She's just cool.
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: So worldly.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, talented, worldly heart.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: The most sophisticated.
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But Invited. Okay, yeah. If she comes.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: You can't say no to inviting her.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: No, I'm going to invite... I just don't want to
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: waste an invitation because I know she'll say no to me.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: Have a little self-confidence.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: Can't even get on Vaya.
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: Hassan Piker.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: Not invited.
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: Gwendolyn Christie.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Not invited.
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: She's kind of the lady in Game of Thrones, tall lady. Psy.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: Invited. That's kooky.
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: Get Psy there.
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: Psy with Steve Harvey?
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Hun.
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: What a party.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: What a party.
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: Imogen Heap.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, she's very cool. Yeah, invited.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: Wesley Snipes.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: Not invited. Not invited.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: Angelina Jolie.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: Invited.
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: Pam Grier.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: Oh. Wait, who's Pam Grier again?
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: She's one of the coolest of the cool. She's, I mean,
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: an actor who's been around for years. She was in
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: a lot of blaxploitation movies. Then she's in Jackie Brown,
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: which is one of my top favorites. Conan O'Brien. Invited.
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: I was like ready to explain who that was to you.
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: And that is nine. We're at nine. Guy Fieri.
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: Guy Fieri.
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: Invited.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Steve Harvey needs someone to talk to. He needs someone
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: to discuss.
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: He's going to be so bored otherwise.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: Guy Fieri with Rosalia. She's going to be mad.
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: Steve Harvey and Imogen Heap.
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: She's going to ask for reimbursement for the Uber. She's
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: going to be mad.
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: She's going to burn your house.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: She's going to burn.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: She destroys that bathroom. She leaves. She's like, that's quite enough.
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: Beautifully played. Absolutely beautiful. Okay, we're going to also play
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: Gift or a Curse. This is a game where I
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: name three things and you tell me if they're a
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: gift or a curse and why. And then I'll tell
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: you if you're right or wrong.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: You name three things. This is the card. I'm blacking out.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: One at a time, I'll name things.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: You tell me if they're a gift or a curse
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: and why. Okay. And I'll tell you if you're right
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: or wrong. Oh, sure. Because there are correct answers.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, cool.
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: All right, these are all from our Patreon listeners today.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: This first one is from someone named We're praying this
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: is a screen name, Mega John X.
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: I'm not praying that. That's exciting.
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: He was baptized Mega John X. Gift or a curse,
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: driving your partner's car. Oh.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: It depends on your partner, but I guess a gift.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: It's nice that they let you drive their car.
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: Shows a little trust.
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: Wrong.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: Curse.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: Because they want things– the seat has to be a
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: certain way.
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: There's always going to be a seat conversation once they're
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: driving again.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: It feels uncanny. There's something about it where you're like
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: I'm always– even when you're in your own car in
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: like the back seat, it feels strange.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: Right, right.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: It makes me feel like a ghost. I don't like it.
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: It's not for me.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah, it's kind of like looking at someone's FYP.
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: Like, whoa, this is your brain. This is what you like.
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: And the stakes couldn't be higher.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: They're so high.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: This next one is from a listener named Rick. Gift
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: or a curse, eating a meal while someone seated with
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: you eats nothing.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, curse.
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: Well, because I feel like I have to hurry up.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like the timing is off. The rhythm of
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: the table is off. I feel like the storytelling is off.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: Now it's when I'm eating, you're telling stories. Oh, I
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: haven't eaten. Well, I've been talking the whole time. Oh,
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: I haven't, you know, all that jazz. Wrong. Oh my gosh.
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: This is a gift. You're in the driver's seat in
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: this situation. Where do you learn this in school? You're powerful.
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: You're really in charge.
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: I see.
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: This person is your prisoner until you're done eating. Right.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about community. The community of the table. But
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: it's a power thing.
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: It's a power thing. On the opposite side, though, if
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: I'm not eating anything and the other person is eating,
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: I'm all over the place mentally.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Well, I would say it's like you're not eating by choice, right?
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Like what other factors are in here?
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: Well, no, I'm just saying– I've already eaten. Yeah. If
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: I go to dinner and– Well, I don't know. It
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: gets complicated. But if you don't order, there's always a
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: quiet resentment, I think.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: It's like, well, why are we both here?
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: Right. I just get truffle fries.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: Something.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: My go-to.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: You don't like it? Get those off the menu.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. I love them.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: What were you doing pre-2008?
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: Nothing. Arms crossed. Waiting for the magic of truffle fries.
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: Truffle Parmesan fries.
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: Parmesan I'm on board with. Okay. Yeah.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: I love truffle oil. I love it.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: Did I go too far?
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: No.
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, you've gotten two wrong so far. I'm in the red.
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: And the listener's rooting against you at this point.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: Sorry, Patreon.
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: This is from a listener named Matthew. Gift or curse
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: the blue water in a toilet bowl after putting a
• 56:25
  Speaker 3: cleaning tablet in the toilet tank.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: A gift.
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: Because it's just a little wink that it is clean. What?
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: No. You've lost the game completely. I hate this. It
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: looks cheap. It turns every bathroom into like a truck
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: stop restroom. Also, there's one in my toilet right now.
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: And I don't know if my boyfriend or the cleaner
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: put it in there. But the dog, if the dog
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: gets anywhere near the bathroom, I freak out.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: I see.
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: Because I don't want her drinking the poison.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: Yes. See, I see it. I'm delighted.
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: They need to work on the color. The color is tacky.
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: Are there pink ones? I think that's more tacky.
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: That's way tackier.
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: I think blue is.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: Why not like a nice aquamarine?
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: Like a Baja Blast color.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that was the option. I'm kind of
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: just take what you're given.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: I think Mountain Dew Baja Blast should team up with
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: the toilet tablets.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: I'm learning a lot here.
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: Because that's a beautiful color.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: I think, yeah.
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: Serene.
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: It's a missed collaboration.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, but maybe a future collaboration.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: Dew X Clorox.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: Well, you completely lost the game.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: And we hate to see, you know, somebody fail like that,
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: fall on their face.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: Especially towards the end of the podcast, but that's fine. Well,
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: will you help me answer a listener question?
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: People are writing into, I said, nogifts at gmail.com. I
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: don't know why I sang that. My apologies to everybody.
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: Does anyone like my voice? Anyone looking for a lead singer?
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: The Gmail musical?
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: But they're writing into that email address and begging for answers.
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: Dear Bridger and lucky guest, my husband and daughter have
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: the same birthday and I always stress over getting both
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: of them something and not breaking the bank as Christmas
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: and my other child's birthday are within the next few months.
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: My daughter will be turning 12 and loves music, cats,
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: and the color purple. I don't know if that's the musical,
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: the TV movie, the movie, or the book, or the color.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: But We'll continue. Oh, and the Roblox online game. My
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: husband will be turning 35. He's a paramedic and also
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: has his own handyman business on the side. He loves
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: being outdoors, hunting, and fishing. I need your help to
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: assist me on what I can do or get for
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: both of these important people in my life without spending
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: too much money. I appreciate all the ideas you can give. Okay.
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: Thank you for your help, and that's from Jess in Iowa.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: So... Oh, Jess.
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: Husband and daughter share a birthday.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: They share a birthday. That's portal. There's a lot of birthdays.
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: 365 and they're on the same day yeah.
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: Something wow spooky spooky how did that work out that's
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: something's up something's very wrong in this family I'm telling
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: you my new religion keeps standing correct keeps getting proven right.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: I would say spend it on an experience together. Maybe
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: a trampoline park.
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, father-daughter at the trampoline.
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Sorry, Jess.
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: I think that's an interesting gift. I see. And that
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: would also make the other child jealous. Right. Which adds
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: an interesting dynamic to the family.
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: Maybe. We're trying to create divide within the family.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: And you can kind of corner the child who's at
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: home and kind of poison them against daddy.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: Right. Yes.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: Yes. Yes.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: As a survivor. Wow.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: I mean, ultimately, I think the problem is they both have,
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: there are two people in this woman's life that have
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: the same birthday.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: Or camping.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: Well, just pick one. Get rid of one of these people.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: Right. Yes, yes, yes. Vote one out. Vote one out
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: of the house.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: You already have another child, so maybe the daughter goes
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: up for adoption.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: Sure, sure.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: You've probably had her for a while. You're probably getting tired. Yes.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 3: You know, the Roblox has got to be driving you insane.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: Probably draining your wallet.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: Roblox. What is it? It's gambling for kids?
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: I think it's similar to your... Isn't it not Animal Crossing?
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 3: But I feel like there's an element where it's just like,
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: we need more money from you all the time.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, you have to pay constantly to be in it.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: I think because it's online. There's got to be some element.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, a membership. I see, I see.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: Right. It seems dangerous to me.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: It is dangerous to be online like that as a kid.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: Wait, how old are these children, did you say?
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: Turning 12.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, to be, whoa.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: I can't imagine. No. No, no, no.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: No, scary place. That's the new mall.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is the new mall.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: Look out. I hate that.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, trampoline park, I think. Well, why not send them
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: on a hunting trip? Buy the 12-year-old a gun.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: Buy the 12-year-old a handgun to go hunting with. Do
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: people hunt with handguns? Is that a thing that happens?
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: I do not know.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 3: That doesn't seem right.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: No, I think it's rightful.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you have to have like a law.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: Like you can't hunt like this. This is something you're
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: walking down a hallway with. It's Resident Evil.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: I see. Yeah, no, I think it's not. I don't
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: think a handgun is powerful enough to kill a deer.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, that can't be true.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: Listeners, that's my guess.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's just too easy.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: I've been watching the series online where this man shoots
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: these like items, random items through doors to see if
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: it gets to the dummy in the end.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, interesting.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it seems like it's only the rifle that works. Oh.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I guess I don't know that much about guns.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: I'm in a weird space online, so I– Yeah, how
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: did you get there? No, it's being forced upon me
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: and I'm not resisting.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: That path is going to really branch out in bad ways.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: We've got to keep an eye on you.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: Can we please send someone?
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 3: We're at the beginning of your radicalization. Yes. Okay, so
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: we're buying the 12-year-old a gun and sending them to
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: a trampoline park.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: I'd say that's good.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: I think that's perfectly nice. And then the father can...
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: We get sued.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: What?
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 3: These two things, let's just be very clear. Let's leave
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: the gun in the woods.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: Take the handgun to find some innocent animal somewhere. Yes.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: And then go trampolining with daddy.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: While mom poisons your sibling. Sure.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: Yes. I thought we were veering away from the lawsuit,
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: but the poison just came in last minute.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: But Jess did say she appreciates. All of the ideas.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: Really great.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: We've done the game before. Yeah. You can't complain.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: You can't complain.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: We answered the question perfectly. You lost the game. I did.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 3: But you did bring this beautiful new game into my life,
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: and I'm excited to... Maybe I'll invite some friends over
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: and spring this on them.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: I hope you enjoy it. I think it's... It really
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: changed the way I interact with my friends.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: I like this. I reveal to you this is.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: How I kept them. They were all leaving me.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, I have a great game.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: Wait a second, you guys.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: They're going to be delighted.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: And now they're here.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm so glad you could be here.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 3: Thank you for being here. Listener, the podcast is over.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: And I just kind of came to a real halt.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: I feel like maybe it always comes to a halt
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: like that. But it's, again, I'm blacking out. And I'm
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: back in the parking lot, and I'm panicking, and I'm sweating,
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 3: and people are worried. So do what you need to do.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: I love you. Goodbye. I Said No Gifts is an
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: song is by miracle worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: do it without our booker Patrick Kottner. You must follow
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: the show on Instagram at I Said No Gifts. That's
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: When I invited you here I thought I made myself
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: perfectly clear When you're a guest in my home You
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: gotta come to me empty-handed I said no gifts, your
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: presence is presence enough And I already had too much
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: stuff So how do you dare disobey me?