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REMASTERED: The Introvert Entrepreneur, with Beth Buelow (Business, Leadership, Mindset, Sales) · The Action Catalyst

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  Host: My guest today is Beth Buelow. She has a book called
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  the Introvert Entrepreneur. She's really involved in this,
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  this whole area of study around introverts and specifically with
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  entrepreneurs. And she writes for Psychology Today, she's you
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  know, been featured in ink and Fast Company in Forbes. And
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  she's just awesome. And she's the sweetest, sweetest lady. So
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  Beth thanks for being here.
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  Beth Buelow: It's a pleasure to be here.
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  Host: So are you an introvert? That's my first question.
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  Beth Buelow: I am absolutely I feel like I fall pretty, pretty
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  squarely on the introvert scale. Although over the years, as I've
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  taken the assessment, I inch a little bit more towards the
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  middle, which I see as a very healthy thing. And I'd like to
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  share a little bit more about that, because I think a lot of
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  introvert entrepreneurs find that as they grow their
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  businesses, they do start to inch a little towards the middle.
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  Host: Well, what really even is an introvert to start, I think
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  there's probably some, you know, misconceptions that people have
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  about introverts. So can you kind of clearly define that term
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  for us?
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  Beth Buelow: Introversion and extraversion has to do with
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  where we gain and drain energy. And I must say I'm doing a
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  rather simplistic definition of it just for ease of explanation
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  and to get to kind of the root of it. So introverts gain energy
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  through solitude and drain energy during social
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  interaction. And while I don't like to think of them as
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  opposites, again, for purposes of simplicity, if you think of
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  extroverts as the opposite, they gain energy through social
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  interaction and drain energy, when left alone to their own
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  devices for too long. And so we all fall on a spectrum, that all
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  of us have introvert and extrovert energy in us, like I
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  was saying, you know, when you asked me that question, I'm
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  definitely an introvert. But I have cultivated and been able to
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  learn to tap into the extrovert energy that I have within me,
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  that allows me to be an entrepreneur, you know, to do my
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  business to talk to people like you, it's there, I think it's a
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  matter of forming a healthy relationship with it, you know,
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  recognizing it, and learning how to pull it out. In the context
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  of being an introvert, as opposed to trying to be a fake extrovert.
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  Host: What exactly is the introvert entrepreneur? And, you
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  know, why did you start studying this and write this whole book
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  about it?
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  Beth Buelow: Well, what I love about the introvert
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  entrepreneurs that describes me and it describes who I serve,
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  and it's, it's kind of an under tapped or I should say, under
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  represented group of people who are making big strides in
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  business, but the, the literature, the work that's out
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  there is not all of these something that resonates with
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  us, because there does tend to be a message of bigger, faster,
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  more and more and more. And you've got to be out networking
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  constantly. It's all about sales. You know, you have to be
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  outgoing and, and all of that in order to succeed. And introverts
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  who are drawn to entrepreneurship, feel an
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  initial excitement, and they have that initial energy around
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  creating their business, taking their message out into the
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  world, you know, working with clients and customers and all of
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  that. So there's an initial rush, if you will, of energy
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  that happens, then as they start to kind of you know, the
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  honeymoons over and you start to kind of dig into to everyday
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  life and, and getting into ways that you can make your business
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  more sustainable, it's sometimes challenging to find information
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  to find affirmation, that the way that you are in the world as
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  an introvert is number one, okay? You know, it's, it's
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  perfectly normal. And number two, that it's possible to
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  balance your energy, your tendencies, your preferences
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  with the need to be able to go out and sell and network and
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  market and do all of those extroverted activities that are
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  required. So this book and my, my mission is to fill that gap,
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  you know, to, to reach out to the introverts who feel that
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  entrepreneurial call and say, You can't number one, you can do
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  this, you know, and you can do this in such a way that you
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  don't burn out because you're trying to meet the extrovert
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  expectation that is so prevalent in all of the information out
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  there. Here are some ways to honor who you are without
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  selling your soul to use that kind of cliche.
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  Host: What do you think are some of the misconceptions that
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  people have about introverts in general?
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  Beth Buelow: It goes to how they how they're perceived in social
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  situations. And that's one reason why I like to separate
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  out the definition from and say it's about energy. It's not
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  about personality, people will think that introvert equals shy
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  when I give presentations. And I ask people what word comes to
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  mind when you hear the word introvert, it is always shy,
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  even from people who know better, they say, you know, our
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  minds typically default to the stereotype to the single story
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  that we have about introverts, that they're shy. And introverts
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  sometimes internalize that, you know, from a young age, when a
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  child is, you know, starting to walk and talk, parents are
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  looking for social skills, you know, they're looking for
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  evidence that that child is going to be, you know, socially
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  well adjusted. And that's, that's talking that's reaching
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  out to other kids wanting to play with them and wanting to be
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  social. And if a child is not, if they're already showing those
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  introvert tendencies of needing a lot of downtime alone time, if
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  a parent isn't tuned into that, they can already start putting
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  that label of, well, you know, little Beth, she's, she's just
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  shy, you know, it's okay. And then you grow up with that
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  label, and you don't ever really question it. And so you think
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  that when you go to a party, or a networking event, or any other
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  big social outing, and you're uncomfortable, or you find it
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  really exhausting, that it's because you're shy, as opposed
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  to well, perhaps it's about your energy. And about being an
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  introvert, that's interesting. You know, people will say, well,
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  introverts Don't you know, I'm a people person. I'm not an
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  introvert. Well, an introvert can be a people person, it's
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  just that we need to have a certain ratio of alone time to
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  people time, that allows us to reach out to people. So for me,
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  you know, it might be I need two hours of downtime for every one
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  hour, I'm out and socializing and interacting with people. And
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  that can include and what's important for the entrepreneur
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  to understand is that includes clients and customers, it
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  includes the time you spend on the line, I remember the day I
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  realized that just because I'm sitting alone in my office, and
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  I'm on the computer, maybe I'm blogging, or I'm on social
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  media, or reading articles and commenting, it's still noisy,
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  there could not be a peep coming out of my computer. But you
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  realize how noisy it is when you shut the lid on your laptop, for
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  instance, and you walk away? And it's like, wow, that's like I
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  just hit the mute button. So it's recognizing all of those
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  different places that you are interacting with people and
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  understanding for yourself, what's the balance that you
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  need, so that you have the energy to do those things, when
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  it's called for it stimulation? You know, it's just a different
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  form of stimulation than when you're talking with people. I
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  mean, you know, email, and you think of how easily you can get
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  overwhelmed. Or if you have too many tabs open on your browser.
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  You know, that's another way that we can create over
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  stimulation for ourselves that if you start to become aware of
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  it, and how much it's draining your energy, then you can start
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  to manage it a little better.
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  Host: Yeah. So do you think introverts can they be
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  charismatic? Like, can you go so far as to say you could be
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  charismatic and still be an introvert?
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  Beth Buelow: Absolutely. I think that it's a different kind
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  of charisma. You know, as I mentioned before, it's not about
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  being a fake extrovert. When I get up on stage, I don't want to
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  try to be charismatic Allah, Tony Robbins, or any of these
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  other you know, high energy speakers. So charisma doesn't
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  necessarily have to do in my opinion, with being, you know,
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  really high energy and really extroverted. It has to do with
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  an inner power and inner confidence and trust, and being
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  able to sincerely connect with other people, just like they say
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  the best conversationalist are those who are the best
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  listeners, not necessarily the best talkers. I think those with
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  charisma are, it's not necessarily somebody who's like
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  larger than life. It's somebody who emanates a very powerful,
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  positive presence that helps other people feel connected to
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  them and feel good about themselves. And I think you
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  know, introverts absolutely have that power at their disposal.
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  Host: What are the challenges there for an introvert
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  salesperson or entrepreneur?
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  Beth Buelow: First, it has to do with recognizing that you can
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  approach those processes on your own terms, that you have
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  inherent strength, that it's not about having the gift of gab.
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  It's not about being able to, you know, talk up a blue streak
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  or any of that I remember I was Do you ever watch the show the
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  Prophet? There was an episode when he was you know, of course,
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  visiting a company and meeting the various staff and he met the
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  person who was the salesman, and he said, So what makes you good
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  at sales or, you know, what's, what are your strengths? And he
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  says, Well, I'm a really good talker. And as soon as I heard
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  that I was like, and that's gonna come into that's going to
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  end up in trouble later on. So introverts can have this story
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  that it's all about talking and what Marcus proved a little bit
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  later in that same episode was that it wasn't the salesman's
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  ability to talk that was an asset. I don't know, I think he
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  did eventually find an asset in that person. But he basically
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  kind of took the reins and said, Here, let me let me demonstrate
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  what really needs to happen here. And he asked questions,
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  and he listened. And it's something that I think we know,
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  intuitive, like, Oh, of course, how do I like to be sold to? I
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  like for somebody to listen to me to ask questions to find out
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  what I really need, and to be honest with me if they don't
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  have it, and if introverts can get through this idea that it's
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  kind of the the cheesy car salesman, and you know, what's
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  it gonna take to get you into my practice today? That it's really
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  about listening to somebody and asking good questions. And, and
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  being a, you know, a guide and a witness for, for what they for
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  solving their problem. A lot of it is mindset, and then
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  realizing that if you that you have some inherent strengths as
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  an introvert in that, we often are really good listeners, we
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  often do have that strong feeling of curiosity about the
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  world about other people about their needs. And we'd like to
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  put the spotlight on others, if you can bring those ideas into
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  your sales process, that you're really taking something that
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  might have seemed like a challenge, and turning it into a
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  strength. And to release this, this story or this idea that I
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  have to be able to answer all of their questions so much as it's
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  about, I have to ask the right questions and trust that those
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  answers are going to come out. So it can be you know, it's such
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  a mental, it's such a mental game, you know, the inner game
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  of sales is I think introverts can, if they understand that
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  those assets are there for them, they can cultivate the other
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  skills that they need to be successful.
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  Host: So you actually just wrote an article that was connected to
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  some research that came out about introverts, extroverts,
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  and then ambiverts. Tell us what ambivert means. And then tell
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  tell us about this study.
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  Beth Buelow: Well, remember, in the beginning, I talked about
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  introverts and extroverts all being on a spectrum. And most
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  people lean one way or the other. But there is a group of
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  people who fall squarely in the middle, and they're called
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  ambiverts. So think of ambidextrous, you're
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  comfortable, you know, writing with either hand ambiverts are
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  comfortable gaining energy through social interaction or
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  solitude. And I often think of it as a Friday night test. So
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  think of Monday morning. So it's Monday, and you're already
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  looking forward to Friday, and you say, ah, Friday, five
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  o'clock, I can't wait to walk into my house and do what you
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  know. So an introvert most likely their default is going to
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  be I can't wait to decompress. I can't wait to not have to answer
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  email or not have to talk to anybody. Yeah, I have to go to
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  something on Sunday. But that's okay. I have the next few days
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  to rest. And gear up for that an extrovert would be like, Oh, I
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  can't wait for Friday, I get to put on my you know, my my party
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  clothes and go out to hear the band with my friends or I'm
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  having a dinner party on Saturday night. The ambivert
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  doesn't necessarily have that strong default on Monday,
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  they're going to be like, Well, I just want to kind of want to
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  see how things go. You know, I don't have a default setting.
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  You know, where I as an introvert, I don't think you
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  would ever find me on a Monday saying I can't wait until go to
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  that party on Friday night. No offense against the people who
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  are giving the party but it's just not what would come
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  naturally. So ambiverts fall in that middle. And there was a
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  researcher named Adam Grant of the Wharton School of the
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  University of Pennsylvania. And he looked at, he did a
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  personality survey more than 300 salespeople, and then he tracked
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  their sales records for three months. And interestingly
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  enough, he started with the premise that it would not be the
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  extroverts who outperformed the introverts, he figured that
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  introverts would probably do better. And he was proven right.
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  But what he also found was that people who fell in the middle
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  outproduce them both, so those ambiverts did better than the
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  introverts, and the introverts did do better than the
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  extroverts, actually, let's see, ambiverts earned 24% more sales
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  than introverts did, and 32% more than extroverts. And what
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  he posited was that the ambiverts can naturally engage
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  in this really flexible dance between, you know, speaking and
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  having enthusiasm and talking with the prospect, and then
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  being quiet and listening and asking questions and just
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  creating a great spaciousness around the conversation. Those
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  were the people that were the most successful, and so they
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  weren't, they weren't persuasive. They were
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  influential, but they weren't pressuring, you know, again, a
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  very spacious kind of environment for that
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  conversation. So I think introverts can take heart in
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  that number one that you success in sales doesn't just belong to
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  the extroverts, and that you can cultivate some of those ambivert
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  skills and for introverts, that means being confident and and I
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  hesitate to use the word bold because it implies that the
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  opposite is timid. I don't think that we're timid in sales
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  conversations, but we can do kind of hold back questions or
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  hold back thoughts? Because we want to process them or we want
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  to save them in Newbury think, oh, I can just follow up later.
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  And so the being bold, would be asking them right there in that
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  moment, you know, extrovert yourself as a verb during that
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  time in order to strike that balance that that the ambiverts
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  have found.
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  Host: I think that's fascinating. We're running out
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  of time best. Where do you want people to go to learn more about
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  you? And check out the introvert entrepreneur?
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  Beth Buelow: Yeah, my website is home to my blog, podcast and
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  books. So that's the introvertentrepreneur.com. And
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  from there, you'll find my presence on all sorts of social
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  media. And of course, you'll find links to the introvert
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  entrepreneur, the book.
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  Host: So if somebody is out there, just the last little
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  thing who's listening in and maybe they've they've never,
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  they've always written off the idea of having their own
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  business, or they've always written off the idea of being in
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  sales. What advice would you give to that person
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  Beth Buelow: To challenge your assumptions and your stories,
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  you know, which requires first of course, being able to look at
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  them and identify them. And for introverts, that story is often
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  I'm not a good networker, I'm not good at sales. I don't have
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  the energy to sustain a business, challenge all of those
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  things and, you know, find resources like my book like
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  other there's several other great authors who've written
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  about introversion, then of course, entrepreneurship, but,
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  you know, seek out resources seek out support and and learn
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  how to, you know, embrace your introversion so that you can
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  work with it instead of against it.
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  Host: Awesome. Well, thanks for encouraging us and inspiring us
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  and helping us to challenge some of those beliefs.
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  Beth Buelow: I appreciate it.