Latest / It's Mom O'Clock / EPISODE 40: Lex's Life Notes: Unfiltered

Transcript

EPISODE 40: Lex's Life Notes: Unfiltered · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Hey, Mamas. Today's episode is brought to you by the Fortis Agency, a financial services firm located in the Bell Works building in Holmdel, New Jersey. We know that taking care of your family is your number one priority. And at the Fortis Agency, it's ours, too. That's why we're here, to offer simple, effective strategies to help you protect what matters most, your loved ones and their future. We won't dive into any complicated financial jargon here. Instead, think of us as your partner in building a secure, comfortable financial path forward for you and your kids. And here's something special when you let us know you found us through the Mom o' Clock podcast. We'll make a donation to the Children's specialized hospital. So by taking a step to protect your family and save for the future, you're also helping other children in need. Please reach out to Michael Divisio with this email provided next M. Divisio@the fortisagency.com that is M. Divisio@the fortisagency dot com and mention mama Clock. We're excited to be a part of your journey. Hello.
• 1:14
  Speaker B: You guys, stop. Is it Mama Clock yet? I am going crazy.
• 1:19
  Speaker C: Heck, yeah.
• 1:20
  Speaker A: It's Mama Clark somewhere.
• 1:42
  Speaker B: Welcome back.
• 1:43
  Speaker A: Welcome back. It's Mama Clock. I'm ready to rock today. It's Friday. I love recording on a Friday.
• 1:48
  Speaker B: It's Friday the 13th.
• 1:50
  Speaker A: Friday the 13th. It's sponsored Spooky season.
• 1:52
  Speaker B: And we have a spooky guest.
• 1:53
  Speaker A: We have a spooky special guest.
• 1:56
  Speaker B: No, we don't.
• 1:56
  Speaker A: Lex, drumroll. Dermo. Is it Dilermo?
• 2:00
  Speaker C: It is Dilermo.
• 2:01
  Speaker A: It's not Dilermo.
• 2:02
  Speaker C: Thank you. No, actually, because everyone says Dilermo and it's.
• 2:06
  Speaker A: And your D, E, L, L, apostrophe.
• 2:08
  Speaker C: Capital E, R, M, O.
• 2:10
  Speaker B: Girl with an apostrophe. D' Annunzio apostrophe.
• 2:12
  Speaker A: I love that I don't have one, but fuck it.
• 2:15
  Speaker B: But I could add one.
• 2:16
  Speaker A: You could add one.
• 2:17
  Speaker C: Or D' Annunzio Divisio dilemma.
• 2:19
  Speaker B: I love. We're the triple Ds. Yeah, I want triple Ds.
• 2:23
  Speaker A: You will one day. When we make money, you'll get Triple D. But we're so happy. Mama Clark is so happy to have you.
• 2:27
  Speaker C: Thank you for having me.
• 2:29
  Speaker A: Of course.
• 2:29
  Speaker C: Thank you for joining us. Like my first platform. So is this your first podcast ever? I mean, you saw me put on.
• 2:36
  Speaker A: She goes, how do I tighten?
• 2:38
  Speaker B: No, she put on the headphones.
• 2:39
  Speaker A: She was like, whoa.
• 2:41
  Speaker C: I was just saying to em. I was like, I thought they were fake. Like.
• 2:44
  Speaker A: No, I know.
• 2:45
  Speaker C: Did them as a gift.
• 2:46
  Speaker B: Is a show.
• 2:47
  Speaker A: It's a real thing.
• 2:48
  Speaker C: No.
• 2:48
  Speaker A: Did you think this setup was going to be as legit as it is?
• 2:50
  Speaker C: No.
• 2:51
  Speaker B: Right.
• 2:52
  Speaker C: I, like, can't believe it.
• 2:53
  Speaker B: I know.
• 2:53
  Speaker A: People are shocked.
• 2:54
  Speaker C: They're like, I know.
• 2:55
  Speaker A: You were like, I have to pee again. I'm like, why is everyone nervous? We're fine. Everything's good. And we're gonna have a great episode. I'm so excited.
• 3:01
  Speaker B: We're here.
• 3:02
  Speaker A: We're here. We're ready. Mama clock.
• 3:03
  Speaker B: We have an influencer.
• 3:05
  Speaker C: We have the.
• 3:06
  Speaker A: The aesthetic girl, TikTok personality navigating life, healing and dating in your 30s.
• 3:13
  Speaker B: We have her right, right here in the flesh.
• 3:15
  Speaker A: In the flesh.
• 3:15
  Speaker B: In a really cool, cool Yankee hat. My husband's probably gonna have such a crush on you because she looks like a hot ass girl in a Yankee hat.
• 3:21
  Speaker C: No. When you guys say influencer, I literally cringe. Right? Yeah.
• 3:25
  Speaker A: I hate when people say I'm an influencer. I am nowhere near.
• 3:29
  Speaker B: Okay, but, like, you are. Do you want a different word?
• 3:34
  Speaker C: It's just like, it's so weird. Like, I actually just talked about this the other day on my story. I was like, I've never 100 tapped into influencing because, like, it does not align with me.
• 3:45
  Speaker A: No, I agree. Even with saying the word influencer makes me.
• 3:47
  Speaker B: You know what I think it is? Because I think it's like the stigma around an influencer we all have. And it's like, people don't want to be thought of like that. But, like, you are influencing people with
• 3:57
  Speaker A: what you're thinking about the word. You're influencing people. That's the real word that you're trying to use.
• 4:01
  Speaker C: No. Yeah, I started noticing that, like, I. When people come up to me and I don't know them and they like, pull me aside.
• 4:09
  Speaker B: Celebs.
• 4:11
  Speaker C: Wait, what do you mean?
• 4:12
  Speaker A: Yeah, like, do people do that?
• 4:14
  Speaker C: Yes.
• 4:15
  Speaker A: I love.
• 4:15
  Speaker B: I'm just a girl.
• 4:16
  Speaker A: I'm just a girl.
• 4:18
  Speaker C: Oh, I follow you on TikTok or thank you for this.
• 4:20
  Speaker B: That's really good.
• 4:21
  Speaker C: How can we have a funeral? Like, last long. Wait.
• 4:24
  Speaker A: I kind of love that.
• 4:25
  Speaker C: Yeah. She was like, my friend sent you. Sent me. Sent me your TikTok about dating in your 30s. And I just got out of a relationship and she was talking to me out of wake and I was like, oh, my God.
• 4:38
  Speaker A: Did that like. Like a light bulb went off your head? You're like, I'm actually influencing people.
• 4:42
  Speaker C: Yes, that.
• 4:43
  Speaker B: And that's nice. It's like this Random chick out of a million people.
• 4:47
  Speaker C: Exactly. And like, that. Those are the things that make me happy. Like, I don't need you to buy my shoes. Like, I don't need you. Yeah. Like, if I could, like, help you flee, like a toxic ex.
• 4:57
  Speaker B: Love that.
• 4:57
  Speaker A: And the best way. And the reason why we started this podcast is to relate. And I feel like you do that very well.
• 5:02
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 5:03
  Speaker A: So I just. We're rambling right now, but I just feel like Lex Salamo in the flesh. She's here, she's present. She's ready to talk all things. She's on TikTok. She's on Instagram. She's influenced. Sing. Okay. She. You're serving aesthetic. You're serving your workout. You're serving just like, I want to be her friend.
• 5:22
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 5:22
  Speaker C: I love that.
• 5:23
  Speaker B: And good advice. Just like you are.
• 5:25
  Speaker A: You really know how to work the room. And I say that in the best way because I feel like people used to say that to me, or they still do, but I love. See, like, you. People always say things to you, but you want to see it, right? I can't see myself doing it. So when I see you doing, I'm like, oh, my God, this is why everybody loves Lex.
• 5:41
  Speaker B: And I do feel like I did a little stalking because.
• 5:44
  Speaker A: So I'm stalking Lex right now.
• 5:45
  Speaker B: But, like, when you talk, you just sound mature. You sound like you know what the fuck you're talking.
• 5:48
  Speaker A: She's been through some shit and we're
• 5:50
  Speaker B: going to talk about it. I can't wait to hear. Because I. I have some. I need some.
• 5:53
  Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
• 5:53
  Speaker A: Yeah. We're going to talk all things, and we're going to ask the questions, and she's going to answer honestly and authentically, and that's what we're about. So let's get into it. So I feel like you're navigating life in your 30s, right? You're healing, you're dating, you're figuring out what you want. I really want you to be open right now and talk a little bit about who you are.
• 6:15
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 6:16
  Speaker A: Where you come from, what your story is. And then we'll go from there.
• 6:19
  Speaker C: Yeah. Well, hi, everyone.
• 6:21
  Speaker B: Hi. Hello.
• 6:23
  Speaker C: Actually, Dominique, you just learned that my name is actually Alexa.
• 6:26
  Speaker A: No. Freaked out that my name was Alexa.
• 6:28
  Speaker B: So.
• 6:28
  Speaker C: My name is Alexa, but I am Lex. Like, I don't even feel like I'm Lexi.
• 6:33
  Speaker A: No. I feel like Lex is.
• 6:34
  Speaker B: Thank God you're not Alexa, because now, in this day and age, it's like, Alexa, volume, turn on the.
• 6:38
  Speaker A: All the time.
• 6:39
  Speaker C: People aren't FaceTiming me. My friends that call me Alexa, like, as a joke. Joke. They're Alexa turns on.
• 6:43
  Speaker B: No, it's. No, it's actually a fucked up name to have now.
• 6:47
  Speaker A: You can't have Alexa, right?
• 6:49
  Speaker C: No, I'm Lexi. I. Yeah, like they said, I'm on TikTok, but I feel like who I am now, it's like I'm a changing person all the time. So most people know me as just somebody who's worked in hospitality in New Jersey and, you know, built businesses, failed businesses. They know me for my workouts. You know, I feel like everyone knows me in, like, a different way maybe, but. Which is why I wanted to come on here because I feel like everyone has a perception of who I am just from TikTok or just from Instagram. And my friends, my family, like, they really know me.
• 7:27
  Speaker B: And.
• 7:28
  Speaker C: Yeah, I wanted to put more of that out there and obviously talk about the things that I preach. Yeah. You know, and make sure I had a platform to do that.
• 7:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. And I feel like that's huge for social media. I like following influencers who are authentic to themselves. When I meet you in person, I want the same. I'm not saying the same energy, but I want to feel like you're not different. I'm not talking that. Like you said, changing is good. I love that. But I'm saying who you are on social media, you might feel like people just get a glimpse of you. That's fine. But I feel like that's who you are as a human being and that's why people like you. And I feel like that's big.
• 8:06
  Speaker C: Yeah. No, and I honestly, I. I do not put everything out there on social media, and I really don't. And there's a lot of people that do. I am weirdly private on. So, like, Instagram, like, I am. I literally have a private Instagram. My Instagram is not public.
• 8:21
  Speaker A: Really?
• 8:22
  Speaker C: Yes.
• 8:22
  Speaker A: So only a certain amount of people following.
• 8:25
  Speaker C: I had, like, there was one day, I think I had like 98 requests. I denied them all because I just. It's like monitoring spirit and I just don't. I think eventually that's gonna change, like, the path that I'm going down. But I, like, I don't know, for the last couple years, I just didn't want that energy around me.
• 8:43
  Speaker B: Once public, I was get like, crazy. DMs crazy. Yeah. So, like, I would understand how you'd want.
• 8:48
  Speaker C: Yeah. Totally private. It's insane. And honestly, the people that find me on TikTok I always accept them. It's mostly girls.
• 8:55
  Speaker A: So you can accept people on TikTok.
• 8:57
  Speaker C: No, no, no. From TikTok. They find. Find my Instagram and I have my Instagram link in my TikTok, but it's just.
• 9:05
  Speaker A: You monitor it.
• 9:05
  Speaker C: I monitor it, yeah.
• 9:06
  Speaker B: So you would say you're like bigger on TikTok though, like following.
• 9:09
  Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Cuz crazy has happened. Like, I've had letters sent to my house. No way.
• 9:15
  Speaker A: How do people find your address?
• 9:16
  Speaker C: Don't know. That's.
• 9:18
  Speaker A: That would freak me.
• 9:19
  Speaker B: You guys. You can Google anyone and find an.
• 9:20
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah, true.
• 9:21
  Speaker C: But like letters sent. I. I rent. Like, I don't own. So I was renting and you know, and it was mean things. Like, it wasn't nice things. They weren't. It was. I've had that. I've had like, prank call. I've had like the weirdest thing.
• 9:34
  Speaker A: I hate that.
• 9:35
  Speaker C: Disgusting. Yeah, I. It's. I hate talking about that because it's just people are so bizarre and like, they have nothing.
• 9:42
  Speaker A: They have nothing.
• 9:44
  Speaker C: And also, you don't know me.
• 9:46
  Speaker A: That's why I feel like you didn't get bothered. I mean, it was disgusting, but you didn't get bothered.
• 9:49
  Speaker C: No. And I won't even talk about it online because I will never give people like that ever.
• 9:53
  Speaker B: Because that's what they want.
• 9:54
  Speaker C: Yeah, we're already giving them too much.
• 9:56
  Speaker A: We're giving them too much. Done it out. Yeah, I love it. Okay, so you told us a little bit about who you are, what you do, and. And how Tik Tok became part of your life. I actually do want to go a little bit into that. So how did TikTok become a part of you? So when did you start TikTok?
• 10:08
  Speaker C: I started TikTok in 2021.
• 10:10
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 10:10
  Speaker C: So I want to say during co. Like, right after Covid, I was starting to build my business and I was living with my uncle and I, you know, I wasn't working for a corporation. I was literally building a business and I had a lot of free time, so I became obsessed with the gym.
• 10:27
  Speaker A: And so you just started posting workout routines?
• 10:30
  Speaker C: Just my first viral video was a workout routine. And I just went from there and I started really as like a fitness wellness influencer, but I was kind of going off of everything that was online already and not really understanding, like, my fitness wellness journey starts from the bottom. Like, truly, like the disgusting protein powders that they sell you. Like, I was doing all of that.
• 10:54
  Speaker A: So literally give you the shits, right?
• 10:56
  Speaker C: Exactly. So oh, my God. I wouldn't even look at it now. No. So, yeah, I started there and I just started in 2022. I started the day in my life ready with me for the gym. They started going viral, and it was. If. I always say if I kept TikTok, like, kept going. The momentum.
• 11:14
  Speaker A: I say that too.
• 11:15
  Speaker C: I would have probably been living in a penthouse right now, set for life. So it's. I regret it in a way, but I. I also don't. Because I would not be the person I am today if I did that. So your path would have looked different. So, yeah, I would have been so comfortable and just like, wait, so what
• 11:32
  Speaker B: made you not go that route?
• 11:33
  Speaker C: I was so hyper focused on opening a restaurant and opening that business that, you know, I would get. And I also have terrible imposter syndrome. I don't know if you guys.
• 11:42
  Speaker A: Yes, you do.
• 11:44
  Speaker C: Horrible. It's. It's very. Some days I'll go, like, two, three weeks, not even posting. And if you follow me on Instagram, you'll notice this, too. I'll go on, like, a rampage. Like, I'll post every move I make. I'm quiet for like a week after because I get, like. Yeah, that's something that I really.
• 11:58
  Speaker A: I understand that, though. I understand that.
• 12:00
  Speaker C: Yeah. So I have bad imposter syndrome. I'm trying to work on that.
• 12:03
  Speaker A: We're working on that.
• 12:04
  Speaker C: Right. And I also. So I get sidetracked. I'm. I'm a very. Like, I'm constantly shifting. Yeah. Like, that is, like, my personality constant.
• 12:13
  Speaker A: I love that you said that. Because I feel like. And I don't know if you could attest to this. I just feel like I'm constantly shifting, but I feel like I'm doing the wrong. I feel like it's not a good thing. Like, it's a good thing, but my body's feeling like I shouldn't be constantly shifting. Well, because I want to be comfortable shifting.
• 12:28
  Speaker C: Because you haven't found your purpose yet. Yeah, like, you know, that's why. I mean, I kind of feel the same way. Um, and part of the reason why I preach what I preach is because people think that that's the wrong path.
• 12:43
  Speaker B: Right.
• 12:44
  Speaker C: Like, I'm not comfortable at all.
• 12:46
  Speaker A: You should be settled down.
• 12:47
  Speaker C: I'm actually uncomfortable, but there's a reason for that. And I. I'm okay now. I used to crash out about it, and I don't anymore. Yeah, my life looks a lot different than my friends. Like, a lot. And I'm at the point where I Love that.
• 13:04
  Speaker A: I was gonna say people don't love that. And that's where they crash out because they want to be the same rather than different.
• 13:10
  Speaker B: But it took you a while to get there.
• 13:11
  Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
• 13:12
  Speaker B: And I mean, and we're gonna talk about.
• 13:14
  Speaker A: We're gonna talk about it, but I just wanna wrap up this little segment of who you are. If you had to describe yourself in three words in this current era that you're in, what would be current right now?
• 13:23
  Speaker C: My first word is faithful. Faithful to God. My second word is curious. Just curious about where I'm going next and, you know, what's in store for me. And my third is
• 13:39
  Speaker A: get em. Lex. You got it. Those were two good ones.
• 13:43
  Speaker C: Content.
• 13:44
  Speaker B: Love it.
• 13:44
  Speaker C: I love it. Yeah. Content.
• 13:46
  Speaker A: That's great. Those feel good.
• 13:48
  Speaker B: Those are really good.
• 13:49
  Speaker A: I can't even give you three words. Overstimulated.
• 13:52
  Speaker C: No. Do you want the negative side of that?
• 13:55
  Speaker A: Like overstimulated? I love it. Well, that's great. I love, I feel like that just wraps up like, who you are. And I feel like if someone who follows you on social media listens to this pod, they're gonna be like, yup, that's accurate. And you might not feel that way, but I feel like what you say, like, people know that about you.
• 14:13
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 14:13
  Speaker A: You know, so that's because you're very real.
• 14:16
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 14:16
  Speaker B: And you can tell because you just
• 14:18
  Speaker A: met her for the first time today and.
• 14:19
  Speaker C: Right.
• 14:20
  Speaker A: Don't you get that vibe? Like she's just. And it's hard to explain those people because it's like she's just authentic. She is who she is and there's no wrong in that. People just have like this identity and they feel like they want to be known for that and you don't have to.
• 14:32
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 14:32
  Speaker A: You know what I mean?
• 14:33
  Speaker C: Ye.
• 14:33
  Speaker A: So that's good. But I do want to get into the Internet. Lex versus the real Lex.
• 14:38
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 14:38
  Speaker A: Just touched on that a little.
• 14:39
  Speaker C: My, my, my friends are going to
• 14:41
  Speaker A: love this because people see the esthetic and the workouts and the vibe online, but there's always a whole story behind you or behind a person like that. And I just feel like, when did social media start becoming like a real thing for you? Like when it was like, okay, this is going to be real instead of like hospitality as your business, so to speak.
• 14:59
  Speaker C: I mean, TikTok's always been there for me.
• 15:01
  Speaker A: Okay. When did you, when did it click? When it was gonna be.
• 15:04
  Speaker B: When did TikTok start?
• 15:05
  Speaker A: 2020.
• 15:06
  Speaker B: Right.
• 15:06
  Speaker C: And then.
• 15:06
  Speaker B: But you were on 2021.
• 15:08
  Speaker C: 2022. I started. So it started becoming real when I got messages from strangers and I'm talking, like, paragraphs, like, they would send me their whole story and how I changed their perspective on. Yes. And how I changed our perspective on things. And I was like, wow, I'm really making a weird in, like, why? And I kept, like, trying to figure out, like, how and why am I even making an impact. Like, it's crazy who you could touch on the Internet. And I say this all the time. If you feel like you want to talk about something and you get 50 views, that's one person's life that you're changing. One person out there, 50, you could change their life.
• 15:48
  Speaker A: I agree.
• 15:49
  Speaker C: So be conscious of that if you have that, like, in you. Like, oh, my God, I really want to talk about this or I want to preach this. Do it. Because I saw a meme and it was like a picture of a hundred people. And it looked like a thousand. It looked like thousands, but it's only a hundred. And it was a hundred views. And for us, that looks like nothing.
• 16:12
  Speaker A: We talked about that.
• 16:13
  Speaker C: It looks like nothing. But, like, when you actually look at the photo, it's like, wow, that looks like a thousand people.
• 16:20
  Speaker A: So, wow, what a good perspective.
• 16:22
  Speaker C: Yeah, that's been my. My life recently. Like, completely shifting perspective on everything. Yeah. So just think about a hundred people and think about changing one person's life. Like, I'm good if I. I'm good off that.
• 16:34
  Speaker A: I feel like I change your life every day, and I just feel like I'm good. Like, we're good.
• 16:37
  Speaker C: That one. Yeah. Yeah.
• 16:39
  Speaker B: No, but I do feel that way.
• 16:40
  Speaker C: That's. That's when it became, like, real for me. And then, you know, I always say, like, yeah, sometimes I feel pressure to, like, match an aesthetic. And like, I am not like a super. I don't have superpowers, you know, Like, I still look on the Internet, I still see girls that are drop dead gorgeous, that have thousands of hundreds of thousands of followers, and I'm like, should I be doing that? Should I look like that? Like, we always are going to think that that's always going to be in the back of our minds, but I just know that that does not align with me at all.
• 17:12
  Speaker A: So what do you do when you have those thoughts? Like, when you're like, should I be doing that?
• 17:16
  Speaker B: I think that's what you said. Like, going back to being content now with your side now content. And you're. Whatever you're doing is like, I don't have to be have 500,000.
• 17:27
  Speaker C: I look at things and I'm like, that girl's 24 years old. Like, you know, and I'm like, I'm 34. Like, you know, so, like, at the end of the day, we're just at different paths. But I don't feel 34. Yeah.
• 17:40
  Speaker A: I mean, yeah.
• 17:40
  Speaker C: Like, I feel 28, 29.
• 17:43
  Speaker A: I kind of feel. I feel like. You feel 34.
• 17:45
  Speaker B: I feel 17.
• 17:46
  Speaker A: Right.
• 17:47
  Speaker C: Like, what?
• 17:47
  Speaker B: And then I, like, have these kids
• 17:48
  Speaker C: running around like, what is age?
• 17:50
  Speaker A: What is age? I agree.
• 17:51
  Speaker C: What is.
• 17:52
  Speaker A: I want to forget my age. I don't even know my age.
• 17:54
  Speaker C: Yeah, it's a. I feel like after
• 17:56
  Speaker A: 30, it's like, it's like a wash, Whatever. And if I just feel like. I always preach, like, to your point, it doesn't matter what era you're in. Like, just be in the era you're in. It doesn't matter what your friends, whatever they're in, or you need to catch up or you're behind or it does not matter. Just be happy in the era you're in, and that's that. Let it happen authentically, because then you're not going to be happy. I truly believe that.
• 18:15
  Speaker C: 100%. 100%. And it's. It's tough sometimes to look at your friends and how, like, sometimes my best friends, who I grew up with and people that I went to college with, and still I talk to them every single day. And then you sit down with them, and it's so crazy looking at them and looking at your life and knowing, like, oh, we don't have as much to talk about anymore. Right.
• 18:38
  Speaker A: And I feel that. Yeah, I really do.
• 18:41
  Speaker C: Yeah. But I. I mean, I will never not. I'll always find something to talk about.
• 18:45
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah, of course I can talk to them all, but it's just like, the difference is, like, they say, like, your circle become smaller when you get older just because you want different things now.
• 18:53
  Speaker C: And if you are in, like, a position I'm in where you don't have kids, you're not married, you know, you're not settled down, you're constantly shifting. Like, it is my absolute advice to you to make friends that also are in that.
• 19:06
  Speaker B: That's gonna. That's really good advice.
• 19:08
  Speaker C: I've made so many new friends. My adulthood friends are like, they've changed my life because it's like we. And these are people that I talk to every single day, and we're in the same position, and we could guide each other and give each other advice and that's very important, so. And you could always do that.
• 19:25
  Speaker A: I think that's huge. Yeah.
• 19:26
  Speaker C: Huge find. It's okay. People are always like, oh, she changed, or. Yeah, like, what are you talking about? Yeah, that's what we're supposed to do.
• 19:35
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 19:35
  Speaker B: I feel like we've talked about that. Like, being a mom, it's so hard to be in this new stage of life. And, like, you. You talk to your college friends, your high school friends, and if they're not moms yet, like, you just. There's not much to relate to when you're in what you're in. And it is hard. It is also harder to make. I feel like it's hard to make mom friends, but it is good to try.
• 19:55
  Speaker C: Yeah. Really? See, I thought it would be harder to make friends with mom.
• 19:59
  Speaker A: No, we talk about it all the time. It's very hard to make mom friends. You just have to remember, like, every mom is different. Every kid is different. You're also dealing with a different stage of life as a mom. So not only are you struggling from within, you don't want anybody else to see your struggles. Right. If you care about that shit. And then you go to have a conversation, and it's kind of surface level with another mom. So you never dive. Dive deep until, like, you get into your space.
• 20:23
  Speaker B: Once your kids start making friends, like, they choose their friends, and then you could dial. You can, like.
• 20:29
  Speaker A: I mean, I can definitely connect with. But I feel like it definitely has been harder for me to make friends at this stage in my life than it has been in the past.
• 20:37
  Speaker C: Wow.
• 20:38
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:38
  Speaker C: Interesting. See, I'm like. I also. Some of my friends, my old friends even make fun of me. Like, they're like, lexi, who the.
• 20:45
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 20:46
  Speaker C: I'm like, no, I just like talking to people, making friends.
• 20:48
  Speaker A: That's like, me, too. People always like, why? Who's this in your circle? I'm just making friends.
• 20:52
  Speaker B: So most of your friends, like, from the past, are they. Are they moms?
• 20:56
  Speaker C: Are they my, like, core group? They're all moms. There's like four or five.
• 21:01
  Speaker A: I didn't know that. Yeah.
• 21:03
  Speaker C: I love my. Their kids. Their kids are my baby.
• 21:06
  Speaker B: Are you Aunt Lexi?
• 21:08
  Speaker C: That is what they call me. Yeah, Aunt Lexi.
• 21:10
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 21:11
  Speaker C: Like, that's. Yeah, you love being an aunt.
• 21:13
  Speaker A: It's like, you don't have to take the kid home.
• 21:15
  Speaker B: It's amazing.
• 21:16
  Speaker C: Can I tell you this story? So this is something that I did want to touch on here, because I think this is super important. I've seen Tick tocks about this. I've seen girls in their 30s and they make tiktoks and it's to, like, the swelling background music and it's so sad. And they're crying in the car and they're saying, when is it my turn? Because. And they're talking about leaving an engagement party, leaving a wedding, leaving a first birthday. And it's like, I'm 33. When is it my turn?
• 21:41
  Speaker A: And I thought it was a mom
• 21:42
  Speaker B: crying in the car.
• 21:43
  Speaker A: I was like, no, no, no.
• 21:44
  Speaker B: It's like once.
• 21:45
  Speaker A: It's like, you want that.
• 21:47
  Speaker C: I want to make this very clear. I used to do that when I was in a relationship.
• 21:53
  Speaker A: Wow.
• 21:54
  Speaker C: That's when I was in a relationship. Because I felt more alone in that time with the wrong person than I did do now.
• 22:03
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 22:04
  Speaker C: So I don't have that feeling anymore. Because I have. I mean, we could talk about my faith later because I, like, I am so faithful, but I don't have that feeling anymore. I leave and I don't even think about that. Like, I'm in the car and I put my music on. Actually, I was just at my. One of my friend's kids first birthday and I'm playing with all the kids. They're hanging on me. I'm holding them. I'm giving the moms a break. Like, I just love seeing it. And I looked around the table and they were all getting fussy. It's nap time. I go, guys, I can't believe you gotta go home. I was like, I can't believe it.
• 22:39
  Speaker A: It's so true.
• 22:40
  Speaker C: They were laughing and I was like, I'm gonna go home, Purell. Take like an antibiotic, make sure I don't get the stomach flu. Put my red light mask on and, like, relax. So I. Oh. Like, I really wanna close that statement with saying, we're all blessed in different ways. Do I want children? Yeah. Yeah, badly. I want to be a mom. I think I'm born to be a mom. I want them and I'm going to get them. I know that. So it's all in God's time for me. And I genuinely want to say, like, you are blessed in different ways. If you don't have kids yet. If you. It's okay. You get to go home. And the mom that you just left is wishing she could do what you're doing.
• 23:22
  Speaker A: Yeah, I love that you said that. Because I feel like people are so consumed with being envious of the person next to them when they walk out of a situation. Right.
• 23:33
  Speaker C: I don't even know that word anymore.
• 23:35
  Speaker A: You should never be. Because when your life is ready to be in that stage, it will be. And then you'll be happy. Like, all you have to do is show up and be happy for people. Go back to your day to day and your time will come.
• 23:48
  Speaker C: If you are somebody's friend and you do not champion them and support them and are happy for them, you are aing loser.
• 23:56
  Speaker A: You got time. Talk about it.
• 23:58
  Speaker C: Yeah, I'm being serious. You're a loser. Like, that's not right. No, like, my friends, I don't care what they do at this point. If they're like, I'm going to go build a house on Mars, I'm going to be like, let's go. Let's go meet the content. Yeah, like, what do you mean? What? Why are you supporting your friends?
• 24:14
  Speaker B: Yeah, I agree.
• 24:14
  Speaker C: Why are you even questioning?
• 24:15
  Speaker A: Yeah, I agree with 1000%.
• 24:17
  Speaker C: It's so. And listen, if your friend is in a dark place and you want. And you need to really, like, be there for them and pull them out of it and say, hey, what you're doing isn't the right thing, That's a different.
• 24:27
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's advice.
• 24:28
  Speaker C: Right? That's advice. But if they're excited about something and you don't, you don't show up for them and you're silent when things happen, that's weird. Weird, weird, weird.
• 24:40
  Speaker A: You're a weirdo.
• 24:42
  Speaker C: We were talking about this the other day.
• 24:43
  Speaker B: Don't you think silence speaks louder? Like, it's like, oh, you're fucking silent.
• 24:47
  Speaker C: And guess what? We see it. Oh, yeah, we all see it. I see everyone who champions me. And I see everyone.
• 24:54
  Speaker A: Me too. I take fucking notes.
• 24:55
  Speaker C: Me too. And I know. Kidding. It's. It's actually bizarre. And you know what that makes me do? That makes me show up for that person.
• 25:03
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:03
  Speaker C: Ten times harder.
• 25:04
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:05
  Speaker C: Because they're clearly not right. No, they're clear. They need, like, I'll always show.
• 25:10
  Speaker A: That's a good way to put it.
• 25:11
  Speaker C: Yeah, they're clearly not right.
• 25:12
  Speaker A: It's so hard for me to do that. And I feel like you understand this. Like, when I started this podcast with you, what happened? Right. People did not show up.
• 25:20
  Speaker C: Yeah, of course not.
• 25:21
  Speaker A: And it almost made me feel like I'm wrong for expecting people to show up.
• 25:27
  Speaker C: No, you're not.
• 25:28
  Speaker A: I know I'm not.
• 25:29
  Speaker C: No.
• 25:29
  Speaker A: So what had happened was I launched this podcast. This wasn't a rinky dink thing. I'm starting a podcast to make a living because I'M passionate about this and I want to go somewhere with this. We will and we will. But for the fact that I received no support or little support from the people that mattered most actually made me physically sick that I had to like.
• 25:53
  Speaker C: It's the most disappointing thing ever.
• 25:55
  Speaker A: It's worse than any breakup, worse than any relationship. It's the worst feeling in the world.
• 25:59
  Speaker B: It's really, really. Especially when you're to the core of like who you are.
• 26:03
  Speaker C: Oh, absolutely.
• 26:03
  Speaker A: Especially when you're the girl who shows up.
• 26:06
  Speaker C: Always. Always. I'm the first one to comment under my friend's pictures. I'm the first one to text them, tell them like, yeah. And I've seen it time and time again. Every single time I see one of my friends ascend or do something, they always like, they're almost embarrassed to bring it up. They're like, wait, isn't it weird that no one. I didn't hear from this person. I go, it's not weird. I'm actually not shocked at all.
• 26:31
  Speaker A: Right, Exactly.
• 26:33
  Speaker C: It's the weirdest. And I feel bad for those people because they're clearly so stagnant and stuck that they can't even imagine shifting their life or changing. And that's why I'll show up 10 times times harder for them.
• 26:45
  Speaker A: Yeah, I agree. And I think it's so like, I
• 26:47
  Speaker B: just feel that's very admirable of you to want to show up for them 10 times harder. I think a lot of people wouldn't feel that way.
• 26:53
  Speaker C: Yeah, of course.
• 26:54
  Speaker A: Because I couldn't think of the word admirable.
• 26:57
  Speaker C: But you get cuz people get bitter.
• 26:58
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 26:59
  Speaker C: And I, I, I'm done with being bitter. I have nothing to be bitter about anymore.
• 27:02
  Speaker A: I wish I can show up 10 times I show up, I still show up. But it's hard for me to show up 10 times more because I feel like I just been around the game to.
• 27:10
  Speaker B: Well, it's like I'm resentment also.
• 27:12
  Speaker A: Yeah, right.
• 27:13
  Speaker C: I mean there's, listen, this isn't, this is 90% of your friends and 90% of the people there are. I'm not saying be noble all the time. I'm saying like it's circumstantial. If there is like proof that your friendship is not too like, if it really is a one way street and two people aren't showing up, it's okay to.
• 27:32
  Speaker A: Are you okay to break off a friendship?
• 27:34
  Speaker C: Yeah. I don't even remember the last time I did that. I mean I've slowly backed away from friendships for like, my own peace.
• 27:41
  Speaker B: Right.
• 27:42
  Speaker C: But I don't, like, I've never broken up with a friend.
• 27:45
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:45
  Speaker C: You know, I haven't either, but I really can't. I think one person I've seen and even people that have, like, left my life.
• 27:52
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:53
  Speaker C: They always, like, kind of. We always come back, and I come back, you know, so it's just. It's circumstantial and it's. Whatever season you're in, some people don't belong in certain seasons.
• 28:02
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 28:03
  Speaker C: So totally.
• 28:04
  Speaker A: I love that. That's great.
• 28:05
  Speaker B: All right. We're going to get into the season that is a little traumatizing for you.
• 28:10
  Speaker A: Yeah, let's do it. I love trauma.
• 28:13
  Speaker B: Oh, we.
• 28:15
  Speaker A: What is that weird trauma? I hate it.
• 28:17
  Speaker B: But we all have that relationship, except for me, that rewrites who we are and where we are now. And I. I personally don't know anything about your history.
• 28:29
  Speaker A: You remember, she's not in the bubble that we grew up in. You know, the bubble that I'm talking about. Just like this bubble that we just lived in our whole life.
• 28:35
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 28:36
  Speaker A: No, everybody knows everybody. Yeah. She didn't grow up like that.
• 28:39
  Speaker C: I didn't grow up that I was, like, almost outside of that bubble. And, like, people know who I am, but this is why I'm like. They don't really know about me. Exactly.
• 28:48
  Speaker B: So let's.
• 28:48
  Speaker A: Let's talk about it. I just feel like it made you who you are.
• 28:51
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 28:51
  Speaker A: Your personal growth is stemmed from there.
• 28:53
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 28:53
  Speaker A: So let's talk about some of your traumas. I feel like.
• 28:56
  Speaker B: Should we go back to. Are we talking, like, back to childhood or back to.
• 29:01
  Speaker C: Oh, no, I would love to. Yeah.
• 29:03
  Speaker A: Whatever you want to touch up. That kind of made you who you are, and that's a little bit whatever you want to talk in the sense of, like, tea quote, unquote.
• 29:11
  Speaker C: Yeah. Ye.
• 29:12
  Speaker A: Like, I just feel like whatever you feel like dumping on the viewers, dump it on.
• 29:17
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 29:17
  Speaker B: And also just like, whatever in your life has made you to this, like, very confident person today.
• 29:22
  Speaker C: Yeah. There's. Before I start, I do want to say this because I don't like anything I say going forward is I have healed from it, I've forgiven it, and I have moved on from it. This is literally just me talking.
• 29:38
  Speaker A: You have to, though.
• 29:38
  Speaker C: I cannot, because people take things so personally. I don't want this to hit the wrong person.
• 29:43
  Speaker A: It's not a. About you. I want to say.
• 29:45
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 29:45
  Speaker B: So doesn't that feel so good to say, though? Like, I love it. You did it like this is just you telling the story. It's like, almost like you're narrating.
• 29:51
  Speaker A: That's where books come from. That's where, like, movies come in. Like, that's where real life comes in. Because people have stories to tell. They're over it. They healed. They're better for it. And we're telling the story. Yeah.
• 30:02
  Speaker C: Legends.
• 30:03
  Speaker A: That's how legends are made. Yeah. Let's proceed.
• 30:05
  Speaker B: Drop the mic.
• 30:07
  Speaker C: So, no, so I want to say, listen. In my early 20s, I was doing it all. Like, I. I was never a bad kid. Like, I was never a bad girl. Like, I never did drugs. I never. Like, I've never done cocaine. Yeah. Like, I am, Like, I was, like, substantially straight edge. I drank, I partied. I loved. I loved a good time. I loved being around people. So I. Like, I always had this, like, energy. Like, I always had energy. And then in my very early 20s, I got into a relationship with somebody that truly destroyed my energy. Like, he sucked it dry to the point where I looked in the mirror, and I had no idea who was looking back at me. Like, I was like, wait, this isn't even. And I knew what was going on. So this is, like, your introduction to what a narcissist is. And I genuinely feel like that changes somebody's entire life. And when you're stuck in that for seven years, it's.
• 31:05
  Speaker A: That was seven years on and off.
• 31:07
  Speaker C: And people wouldn't even know because, again, I. I keep things pretty. Pretty locked in. But the people closest to me knew, you know, and they knew to the point where me and my best friend were getting this screaming matches.
• 31:20
  Speaker A: That's when you know.
• 31:21
  Speaker C: That's when you know. And I was so stupid. Like, I. I can't even think of the person that I was back then because it's just, like, the cognitive dissonance that I had where, like, my friends wanted to shake me and be like, what are you doing? Like, how can you not see this? And it got to a point where I did see it, and I stayed anyway. I stayed, and I actually looked at my best friend, and I said, listen to me. He will not be at the end of the altar. Like, I'm telling you that he will not be the father of my kids. He will not be at the end of the altar. I don't love him. I literally would say that my body has to walk away. I will do it. I promise. Yeah. And I eventually did, but it took, like, the worst of the worst of the worst, like, mental abuse to leave. And it's it's so hard because I feel like girls have trouble with this, where they genuinely think that people like this will change. And they don't. They. I'm. I'm just here to tell you they do not is in the relationship with you. Like, I don't know what his life is now. His life is actually beautiful. It looks like, you know, he's got everything. I don't if you could imagine.
• 32:37
  Speaker B: Right.
• 32:38
  Speaker C: And that, to me is bizarre.
• 32:42
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 32:44
  Speaker C: But wolf in sheep's clothing, like, things are wrapped up in a bow. And you have to understand what's beneath it. I genuinely cannot believe the way his life turned out versus mine at this point. But again, I'm not bitter about it.
• 33:01
  Speaker B: No.
• 33:01
  Speaker C: Because at the end of the day, maybe he did find peace. And I'm okay with that at this point, you know, Like, I really am.
• 33:08
  Speaker A: So was there a specific situation that allowed your body to find. Like, I knew you. I know. You say you knew what actually happened, though, if you don't mind in simpler terms, saying for the people that are listening that might be going through this, like, what was the. All right, now it's time.
• 33:26
  Speaker C: You know, what is a transformational moment when you're with somebody? Like, this is the first Google search. What is a narcissist? That's when you know something. I Google, I literally. I had no idea. I was 25 years old. I had no clue. What is a narcissist? And once you start, what is it? Yeah. And when you start Google and you're like this, and you're like, oh, my God, I'm living in this hell. Yeah. You know, and it's. That's when I knew that I was fucked. Like, seriously. And I was like, okay. But you genuine.
• 34:00
  Speaker A: What made you stay?
• 34:01
  Speaker C: Because you think you could change the person. You think you could be the person.
• 34:04
  Speaker A: You're such a change. You want to change people.
• 34:07
  Speaker B: Also, do you feel like you were, like, addicted to him, like a drug?
• 34:09
  Speaker C: Of course.
• 34:10
  Speaker A: And who is it addicted? That's what narcissists do, make you addicted to them.
• 34:13
  Speaker C: The highs were insane and the lows were. I mean, I was in pits of hell in the lows. And no one knew. Like, my family didn't know, my friends. Like, the truth was humiliating. The truth was humiliating. And that's not who Lexi was. Lexi was on Instagram. She was at DJs every weekend. She was having the best time. She was posting her outfit. She was doing all this stuff. She was. I masked that, like, to no end.
• 34:38
  Speaker A: You must have been in Fight or flight at all times of the day.
• 34:41
  Speaker C: I just got out of Fight or flight last week from this shit. No, seriously. And it's, you know, that changes your brain chemistry. So my decision making after that relationship was horrible.
• 34:54
  Speaker A: Have you been in one since?
• 34:55
  Speaker C: Yeah, that was my. So it was him, and then it was straight into the next one. Different font. Wasn't a. Wasn't a narcissist.
• 35:05
  Speaker A: Different font.
• 35:05
  Speaker B: Were you looking for something different?
• 35:07
  Speaker C: I was looking for something different.
• 35:08
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 35:09
  Speaker C: I got out of that. Yeah, I got out of that. And then, you know, I'm in my late 20s, I meet this guy, and, you know, he's in a circle that I'm in, and I love that, you know, and it's. It's again, an on and off and on and off, you know, this and that. He's not a narcissist, and I'll say that he's not. Thank God, when he's done, a narcissist. He's not a narcissist. But we were not aligned in any way, and we. I was trying to change him, you
• 35:36
  Speaker A: know, what was his vibe? What was the problem? Asking for a friend.
• 35:40
  Speaker C: Emotional immaturity. That's what I was addicted to.
• 35:42
  Speaker A: So you were ready to take the next step?
• 35:44
  Speaker C: Next step. Complete emotional immaturity. So which. That when you go after somebody with emotional immaturity and try to change them and try to make them fit who you are and who you want to be, what that's going to do is make them resent you, and then you resent them, and then you live in this bubble of resentment that you never get out of. And that was the. That was the end all. Be all of our relationship, which recently ended, you know, that was like.
• 36:11
  Speaker A: So this was the guy that you thought just to give some back? So you got out of this narcissist, narcissistic relationship.
• 36:18
  Speaker C: I was on, then I was on and off with another guy, and he
• 36:20
  Speaker A: was that, like, you okay? I can make him the father of my children. Like, you were ready to take the mom step.
• 36:24
  Speaker C: Yes.
• 36:25
  Speaker B: Is that when you would have been, like, ready, like, crying in your car, like, why. Why aren't all these things happening to me? Why aren't I getting engaged? Why aren't getting married?
• 36:33
  Speaker C: Why aren't you Correct. And, you know, it's funny. I was for, like. I was looking at him being like, I want to be married by this age. I want to be. I want to have kids by this age. I want to. I had this whole plan, you know, we were living together and like, he was not ready for that. And I knew that, like, I was uncomfortable too.
• 36:52
  Speaker A: You were probably uncomfortable saying those words,
• 36:54
  Speaker C: but I couldn't leave him either. Why? So I loved him. I loved him and it was. But that, but did I. I think I loved him. Like, right. But did I, but did I, like, was I in love with him? Probably not. I actually can confidently say I don't think I was. And I don't think he was in love with me either. And that is a very hard thing to come terms with. And that's what girls grip onto is, no, no, no. But we loved each other. But do you.
• 37:20
  Speaker B: Yeah, right.
• 37:20
  Speaker A: Like, that's not what love looks like.
• 37:22
  Speaker C: No, it's not. And you know, our. I won't get into how our relationship ended out of respect for him and his family and, you know, and who. Who's in his life now. I would never do that. But it ended. The root cause of that ending was resentment. And it was. It was from his end, both of us.
• 37:39
  Speaker A: I think he did whatever he did because he was resenting you and you, He. You blame. You know what I'm trying to say?
• 37:47
  Speaker C: Like, I think at this. I think at the point where we ended was us not. We weren't meant for. In. Meant for each other. And as emotionally immature as he was, he knew that before I did. And I couldn't bear the thought of failing again. I was like, I am not failing again. It's not going to hold. Ripping and holding and holding.
• 38:10
  Speaker A: And I'm just so scary.
• 38:11
  Speaker C: I have to, like, listen. What happened at the end of our relationship was so, like, gross and like, just gross in the. In a word, where it's like, I can't believe, like, two people acted like that towards each other, but it was so necessary, like, truly resentment, I feel like resentment.
• 38:31
  Speaker A: Like, that's what it does for it
• 38:32
  Speaker B: to blow up and be right.
• 38:33
  Speaker C: How many times did I want to leave and I didn't? And how many times did I cry in my car saying, what am I doing? You know? What kept me? And now that I've healed from this relationship was not him. It was the timeline. And it was me being 32 years old and having to start over. So when that relationship ended, I literally felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. And I know he did too. And I know that we were both in such pain at that time and we were both going through it at that time, but it was almost like it. If that didn't happen, we would have lived in a true Hell, Like, I'm a true hell.
• 39:15
  Speaker B: I think a lot of people who aren't very strong live in that hell. Live in that hell because of what you said. I hate to put time on it, but, like, I mean, we are.
• 39:25
  Speaker A: Everybody wants kids, everybody wants to get married. Everybody wants to do this.
• 39:27
  Speaker B: I mean, if you do want that, then, like, there is a timeline.
• 39:30
  Speaker C: It's so crazy, because I. I remember writing down after, you know, we broke up, and, you know, I was. I wrote down on a sheet of paper everything that I wanted in a man. Like, every single thing. And I wrote it down, I prayed on it, and I got it in a guy. He came three months after that, and it was, like, divine. Like, it was like, wait, how did I meet?
• 39:54
  Speaker A: Yeah, how does this happen? God's aligning with me.
• 39:56
  Speaker B: You were manifesting.
• 39:57
  Speaker C: Yeah. And I literally. This guy walked in. He's six. Six. I was like, okay. Like, you know, I was like, what?
• 40:05
  Speaker B: I was like, this.
• 40:09
  Speaker A: No, that's hilarious.
• 40:11
  Speaker C: But I. You know, he walked into my life, and I made him fit.
• 40:16
  Speaker A: Like, I was like, you're not leaving me now.
• 40:18
  Speaker C: You're not leaving me now. Yeah, I'm never finding you. You're a unicorn.
• 40:23
  Speaker A: You're coming. You're staying.
• 40:25
  Speaker C: Yeah. So that happened. And where is he?
• 40:29
  Speaker A: Yeah, where the fuck is he?
• 40:31
  Speaker C: Do you know what happened to my body during that time? I literally felt like I was gonna vomit every single time I was around him. And not because he was doing anything wrong, because he was not the man God sent to me. And I knew that. Like, I literally had that in my chest. And that guy was put into my life to show me there is someone for you. I'm gonna show you that he exists.
• 40:57
  Speaker A: But you, Like a little tease.
• 41:00
  Speaker C: You need to walk away without me ripping you out of it. Because my last two relationships, he had to literally blow up my life in order for me to leave. So he's like, I'm gonna give you this again. And I'm gonna give you the most silver platter you could possibly say.
• 41:18
  Speaker B: Sex. Sex.
• 41:18
  Speaker C: But you. But. But it's not gonna be right. So you have to. You have to do it on your own. And I did. And that was the first.
• 41:25
  Speaker A: I remember having this conversation with you.
• 41:27
  Speaker C: Yeah, I, I. And it was crazy. It was so.
• 41:30
  Speaker A: You were very upset.
• 41:31
  Speaker C: I remember I was crying, and I was like, wow. Like, I have to. I have to let this go. Like, it was. It was crazy. He's. You know, it came so fast. I wasn't healed. I was still. I was still going through the motions of my last relationship. I was still grieving that. And he came in and it wasn't right and.
• 41:52
  Speaker B: But was he like, ready? Like, would he have taken.
• 41:55
  Speaker C: When I tell you if I stayed with him, I would have been engaged by now.
• 41:59
  Speaker A: We would ran a wedding.
• 42:00
  Speaker C: I would be planning a wedding right now.
• 42:01
  Speaker A: Children.
• 42:02
  Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, yeah. I had it all.
• 42:04
  Speaker A: Are you almost thankful that that did didn't happen?
• 42:08
  Speaker C: Absolutely no. Because that wasn't the man I was.
• 42:11
  Speaker A: No regrets.
• 42:12
  Speaker C: That wasn't the man I was supposed to be with. And I literally knew that in my bones. I.
• 42:16
  Speaker B: Is there like, a reason that you can like, articulate why? No, it just, I can't. It just is.
• 42:21
  Speaker C: He's generically attractive. He was extremely attentive. I got flowers every Sunday. Like, I got everything I didn't ever have, like, truly. I was gripping at the bare minimum in my last relationships. I was allowing myself to grip at the bare minimum. I, I mean, I was truly a shell of myself and with those guys. And this guy came in and showed me what Casanova could be like, truly. And I, I was like, this is everything I've ever wanted. This is everything every girl wants. And he's a great guy.
• 42:51
  Speaker A: It's like a shock.
• 42:51
  Speaker C: It's like, he's a great guy and he's not.
• 42:53
  Speaker B: How do you walk away from.
• 42:54
  Speaker C: But how do you walk away?
• 42:56
  Speaker A: I know.
• 42:56
  Speaker C: And I, I couldn't, I, I, I would sit with him and I'm like, why do I feel like I'm gonna throw up? Like, why do I have that feeling?
• 43:04
  Speaker A: He's not a. Yeah.
• 43:05
  Speaker C: What is going on? So, yeah, I, I, I, that was the first time I walked away from someone and I was so proud. I was. And that was last year. And after that, I dabbled in like, situationship culture, which I don't do.
• 43:24
  Speaker A: Oh yeah.
• 43:25
  Speaker C: I don't do casual.
• 43:26
  Speaker A: It's so sad because you don't know. Situation.
• 43:28
  Speaker B: I've been with my husband for almost 19 years.
• 43:31
  Speaker A: Insane.
• 43:32
  Speaker C: Wow.
• 43:32
  Speaker B: I mean, so I'm like, she's like, she's like drooling.
• 43:35
  Speaker A: She's like, telling me about it.
• 43:36
  Speaker B: Like, I also want to know about dating. Like, dating life.
• 43:39
  Speaker C: I wouldn't.
• 43:40
  Speaker B: Did you have that?
• 43:40
  Speaker C: I honestly wouldn't know. No. So I dabbled in that. Like, I had like little situationship and every time I would leave him, I felt empty and sick. I'm like, this is not.
• 43:53
  Speaker A: People love that though. People love the situationship. I honestly, if I always made a situate, not me personally, but like, all my situationships would always turn into relationships. And like, I just feel like you want.
• 44:04
  Speaker C: Because you're not meant for casual. And that's me too. I. I genuinely. And some people are. I am not that. It does not align with me. It's. I, like, I want to be in love.
• 44:12
  Speaker A: Yeah. I'm not a casual. I guess that's a good way to put it. I'm not a casual girl.
• 44:15
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 44:16
  Speaker B: If I was single, I could be fucking casual.
• 44:19
  Speaker A: Totally be casual. You're casual now. Are you kidding?
• 44:22
  Speaker C: I just. So that. And then, you know, I really haven't had. So it's been like over a year. I just haven't. I haven't been on one date.
• 44:31
  Speaker A: You haven't. So I wanted to just. I want you to touch on your one date segment. But I also want to tie this into. How did all those situations. Narcissists, Brad Pitt, and then you got emotionally unavailable. How did those all tie into, like, you being content right now? Good question. Right?
• 44:53
  Speaker C: That is a. That. Wow. Alex Cooper.
• 44:55
  Speaker A: I know
• 44:59
  Speaker C: how it. Through the most painful, miserable days of my life. Yeah. Truly. I mean, the loneliest days of my life. You. I learned so much about myself through those situations. And they really just forced you to look in the mirror, which a lot of people don't do. They just. They kind of sit back and they're like, my life's fine. My life's fine. And again, this. I could have had everything. Like, truly. I could have had kids by now. I could have been married by now. I could have had a business by now. I could have had all the things by now. And I don't. And I don't at the cost of me learning about myself and what I want. So immense healing. Being alone. Being like, truly alone.
• 45:48
  Speaker A: Happy alone.
• 45:48
  Speaker C: Happy alone. I went on a solo trip last year. I know.
• 45:51
  Speaker B: I love that.
• 45:52
  Speaker A: I love when people do that.
• 45:53
  Speaker B: I envy people. That. And I could never do it.
• 45:57
  Speaker C: That trip changed my life.
• 45:59
  Speaker B: Where'd you go?
• 45:59
  Speaker C: I went to Miami.
• 46:00
  Speaker A: Oh, I remember you down there.
• 46:02
  Speaker C: I love it. Yeah. I mean, listen, solo tripping's hard. Yeah. Like, but I didn't go smoke weed and Costa Rica and, like, find, you know, like, I didn't eat mushrooms. You know, I just was like, you know, for the past 10 years, all I've been doing is I. I've been on everyone else's schedule.
• 46:21
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 46:21
  Speaker C: You know, I've been. I've been on everyone else's schedule. I've been answering to people. Every trip I go on is a bachelorette Every trip I go on has a purpose and an itinerary. I was like, I just want to go and be with myself. Like, I just want to be able to not follow a rule book. So I did that, and it truly. That trip changed my life for so many reasons. And, yeah, it's weird because every. That was almost a year ago. And where I'm at now, like, it's really all coming full circle.
• 46:52
  Speaker A: I mean, you can totally see it. I'm just. I'm laughing in my head. Cause I'm like, imagine me and you being like, all right, husbands. We're gonna go take a solo trip.
• 46:58
  Speaker B: So you guys should.
• 47:01
  Speaker C: You guys should. Honestly, a solo. Such.
• 47:04
  Speaker B: Like, a solo trip. Like, not with you. Like, solo.
• 47:07
  Speaker A: Well, that would be funny. I'm saying, like, us, too, would be. I. Yeah, like, imagine. We should do that. I. I'm. I'm booking it.
• 47:13
  Speaker B: I'm down for that.
• 47:14
  Speaker C: No, I think that you guys should go alone together.
• 47:16
  Speaker B: I agree.
• 47:17
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 47:17
  Speaker A: I would find ourselves. We need to find ourselves.
• 47:19
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 47:19
  Speaker B: Ourselves. Go Italy.
• 47:21
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 47:21
  Speaker B: Seriously.
• 47:22
  Speaker C: I think that would be great.
• 47:23
  Speaker A: I know. I totally think ever.
• 47:24
  Speaker C: And I think, like, all moms should, like, listen. I have a lot of moms that are just, like, I'm exhausted. I don't have time for that.
• 47:31
  Speaker A: We all say the same moms.
• 47:32
  Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 47:32
  Speaker B: You guys are all the same.
• 47:34
  Speaker C: But say, listen, I say. And, you know, I try to. I have this one friend. She. Oh, my God, she's so special, and she's such a good person, and she really tries. She tries at everything. She does. And I admire her so much. And, you know, she has her own struggles, and she'll be like, I just. I'm tired, and I don't know how. Like, I gotta. Like, how do I do that? She's always trying to be better. Lexi, what's. Should I be? This ingredient in this food and, you know, all that. And I said. Said to her, I said, listen, if. Just find 30 minutes out of your day.
• 48:04
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 48:05
  Speaker C: For yourself.
• 48:05
  Speaker A: Don't make it a life.
• 48:06
  Speaker C: Don't make it a life. Find 30 minutes out of your day for yourself. And that's, like, my advice to moms. I don't have much advice to moms, because I'm not there.
• 48:14
  Speaker A: But it's good to see, genuinely. But even me, when I listen to you speak, like, I've been through some, too, and it's like, I feel like it might affect me sometimes I don't even realize it, but perspective. Like, I feel like even if you're not a Mom, it's good to just like navigate your brain in that direction.
• 48:30
  Speaker C: Yeah. Shift your perspective to look like. Yeah, my perspective now is glassful.
• 48:35
  Speaker A: And if you're not a mom, you can go on a solo trip. So you can.
• 48:38
  Speaker C: Don't run. What is stopping you? Truly. Yes. Seriously, I. That's. I can't even like that solo trip. I mean, like, that is where I forgave everything that happened to me in my past. Like sitting on a beach in Miami by myself. And I forgave every single thing. And, you know, it's such a weird feeling because it's like all this evil has happened and not just in relationships, like in my career, my family. Like, I mean, when I tell you I was like, I was dealing with demons that were around me and are
• 49:11
  Speaker A: you allowed to touch on the career aspect?
• 49:13
  Speaker C: Absolutely. Yeah.
• 49:14
  Speaker A: She doesn't have a perspective.
• 49:16
  Speaker C: Legally, I won't get into some things, but I, I will, like, I will touch on it. Um, but just to explain, like, where I was like, headspace wise and how things could be so skewed. Um, but yeah, no, it's. That's where I forgave everything. I met people. I met people that have, like, I'm in touch with now. I'm going back in two weeks. I'm going back to Miami and I'm gonna go be with the people that I met on that trip.
• 49:43
  Speaker B: I love that.
• 49:43
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 49:44
  Speaker B: Solo trip people.
• 49:45
  Speaker A: It's hard for people to do that, to meet new people and kind of continue their relationship.
• 49:48
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 49:49
  Speaker B: So also it's hard to just forgive every. Every bad thing in your life happens to.
• 49:55
  Speaker A: I say I forgive. How do you. How do you. Actually, I say I forgive and I think I do, but I feel like I definitely still think about it. That means I don't forgive, right?
• 50:02
  Speaker C: I mean, does it.
• 50:04
  Speaker A: I don't give, but I don't forget.
• 50:05
  Speaker C: You don't forget. You're never going to forget. It's going to mark you. But at the end of the day, if you don't forgive, you're living in a prison.
• 50:10
  Speaker A: Yeah, you are.
• 50:11
  Speaker C: You're living in a mess because the
• 50:12
  Speaker B: weight are the weights on your shoulder.
• 50:13
  Speaker A: What did your grandpa say? He goes, he.
• 50:15
  Speaker B: They said for my. I think my grandma was like, forgiveness is the best thing because if you don't forgive, the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
• 50:24
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 50:25
  Speaker A: Not theirs.
• 50:25
  Speaker B: Not theirs.
• 50:26
  Speaker C: Yeah. Why do you want to go through life holding grudges? What is that? What is the purpose of that? I literally, I remember, I pray for the people that hurt me. Like, I really do.
• 50:35
  Speaker A: And I'm sorry for them. I'm like, I'm sorry you're going through that.
• 50:38
  Speaker C: Yeah. It's like, you know, so it's. Yeah.
• 50:43
  Speaker A: I just feel like to wrap it up, a lot of women listening or even men have been in relationships that definitely change them forever. But it doesn't have to be negatively impacted on your life. It could change you for the good.
• 50:55
  Speaker C: Right. And it usually does.
• 50:57
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 50:57
  Speaker C: If you are going through a breakup right now with somebody that wrecked your soul, that you feel like you have nowhere to turn, and you're like, I'm never gonna get out of this. This happened to you because you had to shift your life. You had to shift your perspective. And that's the way I look at it now. Like, thank God I did not end up. Yeah. And not even because of, like, what happened or what they did or what I did and all that. Just because they weren't for me. They're for somebody else. Yeah. And I'm cool with that.
• 51:26
  Speaker A: And they might be better for somebody else.
• 51:27
  Speaker C: So let them.
• 51:28
  Speaker A: Let them.
• 51:29
  Speaker C: Yeah, let them. Let them. Let them be better for somebody else.
• 51:31
  Speaker A: To lighten up the mood, let's play a little game. Oh, let's play a little fun game.
• 51:35
  Speaker B: This is actually perfect with your perfect 10 that you just described.
• 51:38
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 51:39
  Speaker B: So this game is called he's a 10. But so you have. We're going to give you a scenario of he's a 10. He has everything going, but he does something, then you have to re rate
• 51:47
  Speaker A: him 1 through 10.
• 51:49
  Speaker B: 1 through 10.
• 51:49
  Speaker A: 10 being the best, obviously.
• 51:51
  Speaker B: Right.