Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Bride-To-Be Asks For Last Minute Marriage Advice. What She Got, Was Hilarious AND Insightful

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Bride-To-Be Asks For Last Minute Marriage Advice. What She Got, Was Hilarious AND Insightful · I Do, Part 2

0:02
Speaker 1: And that folks did it. Saturday, June sixth, and right
0:05
Speaker 1: before she walked down the aisle, a lady asked everybody
0:10
Speaker 1: for a little advice about marriage. I'm told we're going
0:15
Speaker 1: to be shocked at the advice she got, and with that,
0:18
Speaker 1: welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. This is
0:20
Speaker 1: one of these that we often do robes in which
0:22
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're about to hit me with,
0:25
Speaker 1: but remind folks of where this is coming from and
0:28
Speaker 1: why it became, I guess of such interest to you.
0:31
Speaker 2: Yes, well, so this ended up on BuzzFeed, one of
0:34
Speaker 2: our favorite places to just basically read what a lot
0:37
Speaker 2: of people are talking about. Sometimes they pluck stuff from
0:40
Speaker 2: Reddit and other group chats, but this was a new
0:43
Speaker 2: one and it was hilarious and insightful at the same time.
0:48
Speaker 2: A bride to be twenty four hours for her wedding
0:52
Speaker 2: crowdsourced the best marriage advice, and it turned out to
0:55
Speaker 2: be the silliest marriage advice because it wasn't your typical
0:58
Speaker 2: She was saying, don't tell me what you know. Everyone
1:00
Speaker 2: always tells you people who are actually married, who have
1:03
Speaker 2: walked the walk, who have talked the talk.
1:05
Speaker 3: Give me your.
1:06
Speaker 2: Best go tos for managing marriage, and she was kind
1:10
Speaker 2: of desperate to get some answers, and I thought some
1:12
Speaker 2: of them were actually hilarious.
1:14
Speaker 3: Someone even wrote, and I want.
1:16
Speaker 1: To get they took it seriously.
1:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, they did, absolutely, but some of what people say
1:19
Speaker 2: works for them was fairly interesting, and some of it
1:22
Speaker 2: was silly, but some of it was actually fascinating. Someone said,
1:27
Speaker 2: your spouse to be is statistically the most person, most
1:31
Speaker 2: likely person to hurt your feelings for the rest of
1:33
Speaker 2: your life, so it's important to have some silly safeguards
1:37
Speaker 2: in place.
1:37
Speaker 3: I thought that was kind of cool.
1:38
Speaker 2: That was kind of how they set it up, this
1:41
Speaker 2: chat about basically, hey, get ready.
1:43
Speaker 3: You are going to be hurt.
1:44
Speaker 2: There is going to be pain, you are going to
1:46
Speaker 2: have conflict, but with some of these things that we've
1:48
Speaker 2: decided to do as couples, this might help you get through. Okay,
1:51
Speaker 2: all right, So the first bit of advice, I want
1:56
Speaker 2: to hear what you think about this switch. When you fights,
2:00
Speaker 2: one of you always yells switch and you have to
2:04
Speaker 2: argue the fight from the other person's side, you will
2:07
Speaker 2: end up laughing inside of five minutes every time.
2:10
Speaker 1: Yeah.
2:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, can you imagine in the middle of like a
2:15
Speaker 2: heated fight, we're emotional, like someone yells switch yeah, and
2:19
Speaker 2: you have to take on the side of your partner.
2:23
Speaker 1: And all your partner is going through here is bitch,
2:26
Speaker 1: come out. No no, no, I said switch, I said switch yeah.
2:30
Speaker 1: This is okay. If that works with somebody, please send
2:33
Speaker 1: me the hidden camera video of that working.
2:36
Speaker 2: I think you have to have a certain kind of relationship,
2:39
Speaker 2: and I think it depends on the kind of fight
2:41
Speaker 2: you're having. But if you're actually having something that isn't
2:43
Speaker 2: that deep. So imagine, say we're arguing over where we're
2:47
Speaker 2: going to lunch. Say it's even and you're thinking, like, damn,
2:49
Speaker 2: this is getting a little more heated than I wanted
2:51
Speaker 2: it to.
2:51
Speaker 3: I think in that.
2:52
Speaker 2: Kind of a fight, you could yell switch and then
2:54
Speaker 2: you could have some fun with it, and immediately.
2:57
Speaker 1: That's that's the recognition that this is a stupid fight
2:59
Speaker 1: in the first place.
3:00
Speaker 2: Yes, I think obviously really serious fights where you're having
3:04
Speaker 2: like fights about like serious parts of your marriage that
3:08
Speaker 2: aren't working.
3:08
Speaker 1: Who are you at dinner with last night? Switch right?
3:13
Speaker 2: No, I think it has to be kind of one
3:15
Speaker 2: of those fights that are like silly fights that actually
3:18
Speaker 2: could could spiral and take you into a place you
3:21
Speaker 2: don't want to go.
3:22
Speaker 1: Very big caveat Dan on that first.
3:24
Speaker 2: One, right, Remember how we used to say we haven't
3:26
Speaker 2: really ever used it, but we used to.
3:27
Speaker 3: We made a joke. We had a little code word called.
3:29
Speaker 2: Steely Dan Dan Steely, and basically anytime if a conversation
3:34
Speaker 2: started to go sideways, that would be like the recognition
3:39
Speaker 2: the white flag.
3:40
Speaker 3: Hey, we're going off the rails here.
3:42
Speaker 1: So ridiculous, but that was a very The name of
3:44
Speaker 1: the band is Steely Dan Dance. Okay, so I think
3:47
Speaker 1: we were on a boat at the time that this
3:49
Speaker 1: was happening having a conversation. Who misspoke with me or
3:51
Speaker 1: with you?
3:52
Speaker 2: I can't Oh you called it? You didn't, You couldn't
3:54
Speaker 2: remember the name of the band.
3:55
Speaker 1: And I said Dan Steely and I started.
3:57
Speaker 2: Laughing so hard. Yeah, and you said, hey, when things
4:00
Speaker 2: are starting to.
4:00
Speaker 1: Get crazy, we say Dan Steely. And it worked.
4:04
Speaker 3: It did. It's a little bit like switch kind of
4:07
Speaker 3: sort of. Anyway.
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Speaker 2: I thought it was clever. I had never heard of
4:10
Speaker 2: that before. I thought it was funny for anyone listening.
4:13
Speaker 2: That could totally work for you.
4:15
Speaker 3: And don't think it would work for us in a
4:17
Speaker 3: heated moment. But if it works for you, I think
4:19
Speaker 3: that's a nice thing. Humor always helps, period.
4:22
Speaker 2: Okay, it does, all right, I'm kind of teasing head
4:25
Speaker 2: to one or the other bits of advice.
4:27
Speaker 3: Okay, number two. I like this one.
4:29
Speaker 2: And we have done this grump warnings. Literally, the best
4:34
Speaker 2: thing we ever started doing was grump warnings. Irrational bad
4:38
Speaker 2: moods take holds some times of everyone, and giving each
4:41
Speaker 2: other a heads up made us way more patient and
4:44
Speaker 2: compassionate with each other.
4:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, I think that's great advice.
4:50
Speaker 1: I mean it. You can stop and explain and do
4:55
Speaker 1: all kinds and look for a little compassion. But the
4:59
Speaker 1: sometimes the shortest my to say it is hey, comany
5:01
Speaker 1: in hot? Yeah, comany in hot. That's all I can
5:04
Speaker 1: tell you.
5:04
Speaker 3: And you can just say, hey, today's not my day.
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Speaker 3: I'm in a low vibration mood today. It has nothing
5:10
Speaker 3: to do with you.
5:10
Speaker 2: I love you, please, please please please don't get offended.
5:13
Speaker 2: But I'm probably not gonna be my best self today.
5:15
Speaker 2: And that does give somebody a different frame of reference
5:18
Speaker 2: and you start like showing compassion and empathy for that
5:22
Speaker 2: person versus spiraling thinking what did I do. Why is
5:25
Speaker 2: he mad at me? What's happening right now? That's super
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Speaker 2: super helpful.
5:29
Speaker 1: I like that because there are a lot of variations
5:31
Speaker 1: and takes on that. Sometimes you just go and say
5:33
Speaker 1: not today, satan somebody, and oh I get it. Yeah,
5:37
Speaker 1: a little heads up is cool. They don't have to
5:39
Speaker 1: find out the hard way.
5:40
Speaker 2: Yes, I appreciate you, and you stop them from worrying
5:43
Speaker 2: that it's something they did. I appreciate that. Okay, so
5:46
Speaker 2: this is kind of like our are I always get commune.
5:49
Speaker 2: Now it's Dan Stalely. So the other bit of advice
5:52
Speaker 2: was code words, but in different ways. Okay, have funny
5:56
Speaker 2: code words for things in public, like when I'm ready
5:59
Speaker 2: to leave, if I say strawberry shake. Once we left
6:02
Speaker 2: a birthday party at a bar and my friend texted
6:04
Speaker 2: me I was wondering where you went, and somebody said,
6:06
Speaker 2: you guys left to get a shake.
6:08
Speaker 3: And that just made them crack up. But they actually
6:10
Speaker 3: have code whords.
6:10
Speaker 2: Okay, if I don't know this person's name, or if
6:13
Speaker 2: I want to leave early, we just have something we
6:15
Speaker 2: can say to each other that only we know, and
6:18
Speaker 2: we can communicate in public in a way where we're
6:20
Speaker 2: a team and we're on the same page.
6:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. We absolutely. Sometimes people just have
6:26
Speaker 1: a look. You can look at each other a certain way.
6:28
Speaker 1: You know what's going on. I guess something. We do
6:33
Speaker 1: a lot because we see people trip a lot and
6:35
Speaker 1: fall a lot, and I'll just say, still.
6:37
Speaker 2: Got it, still got it, and I'll know that that
6:39
Speaker 2: means somebody just tripped in your radius, and I'm upset
6:43
Speaker 2: that I missed it. But most often I don't, and
6:46
Speaker 2: we see people trip. I'd say at least once a day.
6:48
Speaker 2: Oh my. Even on TV, we were watching a commercial
6:51
Speaker 2: for a drug and these two men were holding hands
6:56
Speaker 2: walking on the beach and the one guy absolutely tripped.
6:59
Speaker 2: Why they didn't do it another take or why they
7:00
Speaker 2: didn't see it, but it was subtle. But you and
7:03
Speaker 2: I died last this is what we do.
7:04
Speaker 3: But they and someone else was.
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Speaker 2: Saying this isn't when I included that as you develop
7:09
Speaker 2: your relationship and you're married, it is cool.
7:11
Speaker 3: To kind of have your own language.
7:13
Speaker 2: That it's all about being a team and feeling like
7:15
Speaker 2: you've got each other's back and you're together.
7:18
Speaker 3: And just when you have.
7:19
Speaker 2: Code words or phrases or a language, maybe that only
7:23
Speaker 2: the two of you speak. It might sound silly and
7:27
Speaker 2: not a big deal, but it actually has incredible roots.
7:31
Speaker 2: It brings you together in ways that only the two
7:34
Speaker 2: of you know, and that builds towards this idea of
7:38
Speaker 2: just connection and companionship.
7:41
Speaker 3: All right, I.
7:44
Speaker 2: Want to hear what you think about this one.
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Speaker 3: This one was called crash nights.
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Speaker 1: Crash nights.
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Speaker 2: My husband and I have regular crash nights after a
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Speaker 2: particularly full or extroverted weekend, we will give each other
8:00
Speaker 2: a big old kiss and say I love you, see
8:03
Speaker 2: you tomorrow, and sleep in different bedrooms and fully get
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Speaker 2: to refill our introverted cups on our own. We watch
8:10
Speaker 2: our own show, We order our own takeout food, and
8:15
Speaker 2: sit in the same house in different rooms, and most importantly,
8:19
Speaker 2: and she put this in all caps, do not speak
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Speaker 2: to each other.
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Speaker 3: It's amazing.
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Speaker 1: Okay, Wow, that's okay, okay, co one, my uh okay.
8:34
Speaker 1: I have it on from a serious side, and I'm
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Speaker 1: just part of me is just bubbling up inside just
8:39
Speaker 1: want to laugh out loud. But Rob said, I would
8:43
Speaker 1: be offended that when things get toughest for you, you want
8:46
Speaker 1: to be away from me, to the point we need
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Speaker 1: rules that we can't even speak. That is, uh, that's tough.
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Speaker 1: You would you would want to think I want to
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Speaker 1: share that with you, and I we want you to
8:56
Speaker 1: feel welcome to share that. So that is my first
9:00
Speaker 1: question about it. Do they stick to that serious of
9:04
Speaker 1: a strict of a routine. What we can't have a
9:07
Speaker 1: meal toget? What was the first part when when you
9:09
Speaker 1: have it? Particularly?
9:09
Speaker 3: What that full or extroverted weekend?
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Speaker 2: So they've just been running and gunning and like doing
9:15
Speaker 2: a bunch of stuff and they're both exhausted. But I,
9:18
Speaker 2: to me, that's when I love curling up on the
9:20
Speaker 2: couch with you man and picking a movie together and
9:23
Speaker 2: eating takeout together. So look, I don't want to judge
9:26
Speaker 2: anyone else's relationship, but my first thought was I would
9:29
Speaker 2: be so rejected because that's exactly the moment I'm so
9:34
Speaker 2: happy that I've got you because we're like finally able
9:38
Speaker 2: to breathe and not have to be on and perform
9:42
Speaker 2: and shake hands and engage and talk.
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Speaker 3: We can just be us and we don't have to
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Speaker 3: speak to each other. Actually, but to.
9:50
Speaker 2: Have a rule that you go into separate bedrooms and
9:53
Speaker 2: orders honestly, the separate takeout and do not speak to
9:57
Speaker 2: each other, really really through me did to.
9:59
Speaker 1: Say they're on the same there was an agreement, right
10:01
Speaker 1: that they have. Yeah, they're in an agreement.
10:02
Speaker 3: They live in the same home.
10:04
Speaker 2: Look, I know people speak all the time about how
10:07
Speaker 2: they will just shout from the rooftops how great separate
10:10
Speaker 2: bedrooms are. But they just say this one like after
10:13
Speaker 2: they have a very full weekend. Maybe it's a Sunday.
10:16
Speaker 2: It kind of sounded like they had a big Friday
10:18
Speaker 2: and Saturday night, so Sundays see you Monday.
10:21
Speaker 1: Your dates might say, Hey, people need that space, need
10:23
Speaker 1: time to themselves. That's again, but I just sound so extreme.
10:27
Speaker 1: Don't talk to me today. We're not eating together. Do
10:30
Speaker 1: not contact me via text? Right they don't.
10:33
Speaker 3: Yes, no, he was in all cats. We do. Maybe
10:35
Speaker 3: they text, but it says do not speak to each other.
10:38
Speaker 1: Damn man.
10:39
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, when we come back, we're gonna go
10:42
Speaker 2: through our last three relationship or I guess marriage advice
10:48
Speaker 2: coming from folks who are married, and this is considered
10:51
Speaker 2: silly advice, but I think some of this might resonate
10:54
Speaker 2: with a lot of us. Hey, there, everybody were continuing
11:06
Speaker 2: our conversation about some strange yet insightful and certainly silly
11:13
Speaker 2: marital advice given to a bride twenty four hours before
11:17
Speaker 2: she walked down the aisle. She this is what I guess.
11:20
Speaker 2: This is what young folks do these days. They crowdsource.
11:22
Speaker 2: It's kind of cool to have an immediate peanut gallery
11:26
Speaker 2: or a community that can weigh in and give you
11:28
Speaker 2: some ideas and some thoughts that you hadn't considered before.
11:31
Speaker 2: And she was a little bit of a nervous bride
11:33
Speaker 2: and she was just wanting to basically, I think she
11:35
Speaker 2: described it as wanting to take a like a crash
11:39
Speaker 2: course before she took the test, Like she just wanted
11:41
Speaker 2: to make sure she had as much information as she
11:43
Speaker 2: possibly could before she ended up walking down the island. So, look,
11:47
Speaker 2: you had a bunch of married folks weigh in and
11:49
Speaker 2: jump in with some pretty interesting bits of advice, and
11:52
Speaker 2: not the typical stuff, not the stuff you always hear
11:55
Speaker 2: from experts or therapists. The next one fight by text.
12:02
Speaker 2: This was advice from one married couple saying, we fight
12:06
Speaker 2: by text. It makes us think a bit more about
12:09
Speaker 2: our words. I do think sometimes you can resolve things
12:14
Speaker 2: in written word much better than you can when you're
12:18
Speaker 2: emotional and speaking and perhaps not thinking as clearly.
12:24
Speaker 1: Where are they as they're texting each other?
12:27
Speaker 3: Probably at work?
12:28
Speaker 1: Let's be honest, Okay, in the same room, because I
12:31
Speaker 1: would love to fight with you sitting right next to
12:33
Speaker 1: you texting. Yeah, that would be ablation?
12:36
Speaker 3: Should we try it?
12:37
Speaker 1: We're not saying anything, But then the problem would be
12:39
Speaker 1: I would keep slamming every time I get done with
12:42
Speaker 1: would be.
12:42
Speaker 2: Different rooms, then, yeah, maybe with our different takeout, we
12:45
Speaker 2: have different movies.
12:46
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, we're still eating together tonight. But I
12:50
Speaker 1: don't know how that. Yes, I suppose, because then there's
12:56
Speaker 1: not emotion and there's nothing to read behind the look
12:59
Speaker 1: of the face or the so yes. But how difficult
13:02
Speaker 1: is it to express yourself calmly?
13:05
Speaker 4: Right?
13:05
Speaker 1: Because some of the worst stuff's ever been said to
13:08
Speaker 1: me came via text?
13:10
Speaker 3: Wow? Really?
13:12
Speaker 1: Yes, people say all those Nothing stops you from saying
13:16
Speaker 1: something awful just because I got to type it out.
13:17
Speaker 2: I feel like, well, maybe it's just another beat that
13:21
Speaker 2: you take when you have to type it out and
13:22
Speaker 2: then you have to see it and read it and
13:24
Speaker 2: know that it's not going away. You know, when you
13:26
Speaker 2: say something and you'll say to me babe, I never
13:28
Speaker 2: said that, or you just made that up, or that's
13:31
Speaker 2: not what I said.
13:32
Speaker 3: Blah blah blah.
13:33
Speaker 2: Half of most fights actually have several of those sprinkled in.
13:37
Speaker 2: If you have a text, there is no refuting what
13:40
Speaker 2: the person said. I actually appreciate it sometimes I think
13:43
Speaker 2: I understand what they're saying. I don't think all that's
13:46
Speaker 2: not possible to always do that, But maybe if things are,
13:50
Speaker 2: if you're not getting through, if emotion is too high,
13:52
Speaker 2: if shouting, and if you start shouting, and it might
13:56
Speaker 2: be a good idea, take a beat and finish the
13:59
Speaker 2: argument via tech and see how it goes, and then
14:01
Speaker 2: come back together. And I mean, you're gonna have to
14:03
Speaker 2: talk about it face to face.
14:04
Speaker 1: This is about to be a game changer for this relationship.
14:07
Speaker 1: I refuse to fight with you face to face anymore.
14:10
Speaker 1: It's got to be via text. Really, this is gonna
14:13
Speaker 1: be great because I never have to do that thing again. No, bait,
14:15
Speaker 1: that's not what you said. I don't have it. Eva,
14:17
Speaker 1: that's true, Eva, do that again.
14:19
Speaker 3: That is absolutely true. That takes that whole part of
14:21
Speaker 3: it out.
14:21
Speaker 2: And I will fully admit that I'm somebody who remembers
14:24
Speaker 2: things by how I felt versus by what I said.
14:27
Speaker 3: That is, I will fully cop to that.
14:29
Speaker 1: Fantastic all right.
14:30
Speaker 2: The next bit of advice involves humor, and I do
14:33
Speaker 2: think that that's always always a good bit of advice
14:37
Speaker 2: because you need a lot of it in marriage, or
14:39
Speaker 2: at least in any committed relationship.
14:41
Speaker 3: So the advice is no matter.
14:43
Speaker 2: This reminds me a little bit of you, no matter
14:46
Speaker 2: what the item is or how long it's been lost.
14:49
Speaker 2: My husband always asks have you checked your butt? And
14:53
Speaker 2: I'm sorry to say I laugh every time.
14:57
Speaker 3: So I do think that's cute.
14:58
Speaker 2: Like you get stressed out right you can't find something
15:00
Speaker 2: like where are my keys? You know? And if someone
15:03
Speaker 2: just shouts out you checked your butt, it is funny
15:07
Speaker 2: and suddenly the stress of not being able to find
15:09
Speaker 2: something is littled away.
15:11
Speaker 3: And I feel like you do this.
15:15
Speaker 1: I say to you, Yeah.
15:16
Speaker 2: But you have your go tos that you always say,
15:19
Speaker 2: and I know you're gonna say them, and it's funny
15:21
Speaker 2: and when you can say it in a stressful moment,
15:24
Speaker 2: it actually takes the temperature down so much.
15:27
Speaker 1: Yea, that's the big thing. I don't know where I
15:31
Speaker 1: got that.
15:31
Speaker 3: Every time I say God what smells so good?
15:34
Speaker 2: You say, I farted, And it's only when I say
15:37
Speaker 2: something smells good, like wow, I love.
15:39
Speaker 3: The way it smells in here. I farted. I laugh
15:43
Speaker 3: every time.
15:45
Speaker 2: Yes that is something you say and yes, and he
15:48
Speaker 2: makes it takes a line from ninety fiance no matter
15:51
Speaker 2: where we are, and I probably say this at least
15:54
Speaker 2: twice a day. Oh my god, it's so beautiful because
15:57
Speaker 2: I'm looking at the Hudson er I'm looking at or
16:00
Speaker 2: I'm looking at a rainbow, or just a pretty view
16:04
Speaker 2: or a gorgeous restaurant.
16:05
Speaker 3: You say you're my best view, and I always laugh.
16:08
Speaker 1: Then you fall for it every time, like you don't
16:10
Speaker 1: see this coming?
16:11
Speaker 2: Ever, I don't and then it but so, yes, so
16:13
Speaker 2: that that was a good one.
16:15
Speaker 3: Have you checked your butt? Isn't that cute? That was
16:19
Speaker 3: like my favorite little bit of advice.
16:21
Speaker 1: I think, when you're stressed about something, how do I
16:25
Speaker 1: relieve that, like when you're actually there had to be
16:27
Speaker 1: something petty finding the keys. We're going to find the keys.
16:30
Speaker 1: It had to be something small that drives you crazy.
16:32
Speaker 1: Often you can't find your glasses a lot.
16:34
Speaker 2: Out constantly, although now I have my bifocal contacts.
16:38
Speaker 1: Man, that is a big admission you just maybe publicly.
16:41
Speaker 3: No one knows. You can't tell I just admitted it.
16:43
Speaker 2: Okay, this next one, speaking of humor, Okay, I just can't.
16:47
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I wish I had a.
16:49
Speaker 2: Camera on you right now, because you're going to make
16:51
Speaker 2: a face. Come on, party hats, party hats, wear party hats.
16:56
Speaker 2: Every time you have to have a hard conversation.
17:00
Speaker 1: Stop go to the next one. That's come on, y'all, don't.
17:04
Speaker 4: I thought that was adorable, just the ideas like, let's
17:10
Speaker 4: keep some humor, let's remember that we're here to have
17:13
Speaker 4: fun and enjoy our lives.
17:15
Speaker 2: And yes we might be having hard conversation, but I'm
17:17
Speaker 2: looking at you in that party hat, and it just
17:19
Speaker 2: keeps the perspective going. I loved it. I know it's
17:23
Speaker 2: probably not practical and no one's actually going to do it,
17:26
Speaker 2: but maybe even just in envision a party hat on
17:29
Speaker 2: top of the person you're talking to if you're angry
17:31
Speaker 2: or you're upset.
17:32
Speaker 1: They're using party hat. But I mean, I rolled my
17:34
Speaker 1: eyes at it. But it's making a larger point that
17:37
Speaker 1: could be sitting at a particular table and putting your
17:41
Speaker 1: stuff pig in the middle of the table, something that
17:44
Speaker 1: just throws you off and keeps things a little in
17:46
Speaker 1: perspective or a little lighter. That's right there in view.
17:50
Speaker 1: The point is well taken. Yes, I'd say that.
17:51
Speaker 2: I thought it was a funny way to make a
17:53
Speaker 2: very clever point, which is, please keep the perspective that
17:57
Speaker 2: we're like we're let's just we're all human. We all
18:00
Speaker 2: aren't trying to enjoy our lives and yet this is hard,
18:03
Speaker 2: but just remember that there is still fun.
18:07
Speaker 3: I love that, okay. And the last one.
18:09
Speaker 2: I liked it because it flies in the face of
18:11
Speaker 2: what we always hear people give advice for.
18:14
Speaker 3: And we've talked about this in our Love Story series.
18:16
Speaker 2: We've interviewed couples over the last couple of years who've
18:18
Speaker 2: stayed together through thick and thin, coming in it from
18:22
Speaker 2: very different points of view. But everyone always seems to
18:25
Speaker 2: disagree about this. But we hear licensed marriage therapists say
18:29
Speaker 2: never go to bed angry. So this bit of advice
18:33
Speaker 2: was this, and I thought this was hilarious and it landed.
18:36
Speaker 2: Everyone will tell you don't go to bed mad. That
18:39
Speaker 2: is absolute bullshit. You know what sucks most at a
18:43
Speaker 2: conflict resolution, people who have been up all night sleep
18:48
Speaker 2: on it. Let cooler heads prevail, basically saying, don't even
18:52
Speaker 2: try not to go to bed angry. You're gonna end
18:55
Speaker 2: up being up all damn night long, and you're gonna
18:58
Speaker 2: be miserable even more or so the next day.
19:00
Speaker 1: Cause the fight's happening when at the end of the day,
19:03
Speaker 1: at the end of a long day of work, at
19:05
Speaker 1: the end of a long night, probably after you've eaten,
19:07
Speaker 1: probably after you've who knows, this is the last time
19:11
Speaker 1: to be having a fight. Obbiously, that's the case, robes.
19:15
Speaker 1: There are so many fights that can get resolved if
19:17
Speaker 1: we just go to sleep, wake up in the morning. Damn,
19:19
Speaker 1: that was stupid, that was on me, my bad. Yep,
19:21
Speaker 1: it just gives.
19:22
Speaker 3: Them rest perspective.
19:24
Speaker 2: The morning offers so much more perspective than any extra
19:28
Speaker 2: ten minutes or an hour at night. Will like, the
19:30
Speaker 2: damage that's done in those extra minutes at night can
19:34
Speaker 2: be completely avoided if you just wait for the perspective
19:37
Speaker 2: that morning brings.
19:38
Speaker 3: I do believe that let's a good one, all right.
19:40
Speaker 2: Well, Hey, I hope for anyone entering into marriage, thinking
19:44
Speaker 2: about marriage, or in a marriage that some of these
19:47
Speaker 2: really cool unconventional bits of wisdom, hard earned bits of
19:50
Speaker 2: wisdom may help.
19:51
Speaker 3: It certainly did me.
19:52
Speaker 2: I thought it was I thought it was fun to hear,
19:54
Speaker 2: and I thought it was cool that this bride was like, hey, y'all,
19:56
Speaker 2: can you help me out before I walked down the aisle?
19:59
Speaker 3: What do I actually need to know? Very cool stuff?
20:02
Speaker 2: All right with that, everyone, thank you for listening to us.
20:04
Speaker 2: As always on Ami roboch alongside TJ.
20:06
Speaker 3: Holmes. We'll talk sim