Latest / The Oreaganic Podcast / 38: 5 Weird Things I Stopped Doing in My 20s That Made Life Better

Transcript

38: 5 Weird Things I Stopped Doing in My 20s That Made Life Better · The Oreaganic Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, my friends.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Organic Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Reagan, and today's episode is detailing five weird things that I have been reflecting on and realized that I really stopped doing these five things mainly in my 20s, and they have made my life a lot better.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: They are habits, systems, mindsets, commitments that have changed, and gradually over time I've shifted into this new way of being that is different enough from the way that I used to live my life that there is a notable, clear understanding of main areas of my life where there are differences.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the perspective on this can help a lot of people realize areas in their life where they may feel a bit disconnected, or there's an opportunity to be living a better version of life that brings you more connection to yourself, keeps more of your own energy for yourself.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're not constantly outsourcing, you're not constantly giving it away.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are most efficiently utilizing, protecting, and nurturing your own energy so that you can actually use it to point it to the things that you want to have in your life.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've talked about this in other episodes, but there's so much, there's so much noise in the modern day, and so much of it keeps you so caught up in this loop of constantly go, go, go.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I'm getting 500,000 different tabs being shoved into my face, all these advertisements everywhere I look, like I don't have time for this, I don't have time for that, this person saying this, this person saying that.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: All of our energy is just going outwards, and it's like the energy that we do have is always trying to be infiltrated by things outside of us that are trying to capture our attention so that we can give our energy and focus to it.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's hard to get out of the kind of riding the wave of this noise when you don't see and understand and hear, or you can even are able to acknowledge that it's even there, if that makes sense.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: You can't change something that you're not aware of.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that a lot of people would truly benefit from having a greater perspective and mindset of small changes they can make in their life that will actually have great ripple effects for increasing your quality of life.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: From my personal experience, take what resonates, leave what doesn't.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to share this with you guys, Go, so let's get into it.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the organic podcast.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Reagan, mechanical engineer, lifelong athlete, and recovered overachiever, here to empower you to pursue your highest potential and live freely as your happiest, most organic self.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Every week we'll dive into topics ranging from personal growth, mindset hacks, psychology, and a blend of science and spirituality to give you all the tools you need to stop living on autopilot and start creating a life of freedom, meaning, and fulfillment as your most organic self.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to become the best version of yourself, then let's make it and grow.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, starting off strong with a phrase that I guarantee you at least one of you has said before.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have time for breakfast.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I actually am just not a breakfast person.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just don't have time to eat in the mornings.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I simply don't.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, I don't believe you.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't believe you because I once was you.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I once was the person who would never ever cook breakfast for myself.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I would just zoom out the door like the freaking Tasmanian devil as soon as I was done getting ready.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: And particularly in college, I would immediately wake up with this urge, this instant amount of just stress.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I need to get work done, I need to do homework, I need to start the day.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I would basically just start off the day in a state of fight or flight, and just like I said, zoom around everywhere, immediately leave the apartment.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like there was no way in hell that I was ever having a slow morning where I could just wake up, get ready at like a normal pace, actually pull out a pan, pull out some eggs, pull out some toast, sit down for 10 to 15 minutes and actually eat after I cook it.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh my god, in no world was I ever going to be doing that.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I feel like a lot of people skip the breakfast route.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I am not someone who is qualified to be giving health advice, which is not what I'm about to do.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: But just as a normal person, I I just intuitively feel to intuitively feel like it's just probably not the best thing to perchance starve yourself until lunch every day after you wake up.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I just maybe it works for you.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you really are someone who just doesn't like breakfast, but it it just does not work for me.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: It does not work for me, and it just it just doesn't make sense to me.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I've noticed, especially in the past couple years, you know, getting out of college, settling into better routines and rhythms, and actually taking the time to cook breakfast for myself, that I am so much more at peace when I start my day.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: The energy that I start my day in is not, oh my god, I woke up, I need to go to work, I need to I need to start doing homework immediately.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm behind on this, blah, blah, blah.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, I wake up, I do my little five-minute journal, I make my bed, I brush my teeth, I wash my face, and then I will actually sit, well, stand and cook myself breakfast for the what 20 to 30 minutes that it takes to add that to my morning.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: I feel so much more calm when I start the day.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like I'm constantly, immediately outsourcing any shrapnel of energy that I woke up with to someone or something outside of me.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm actually pouring energy into myself first.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And just that shift, I like I can just I feel so much more grounded and settled in myself to actually take time to prioritize that because it's so easy to just say, I don't have time for it, I can't wake up that early, my sleep schedule is is you know pretty fucked up.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I can only wake up with X amount of time, like it's not worth it to me, blah blah blah.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's very easy to write breakfast off as something that's just like not essential, or something that you can just get on the go, which you absolutely can.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I still do that sometimes.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is not 100% perfect or purely only ever cooking for myself.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there are still days where I have quick things on the go or well, not really anymore.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I if I have to leave quick, I will make sure that I have food for myself and like just eat it in the car, but like I will still, it will still be like a proper breakfast.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: It will be like a pancake that I sound so weird.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: It will be like a pancake that I have left over from cooking the day before that I will literally just eat in like a glass Tupperware thing that I pour syrup into.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, not perfect, very impromptu, but I still always make sure that I eat because it feels like I actually am taking like the first thing that I'm doing for the day is taking care of myself and proving to myself through my actions, through what I'm choosing to prioritize that I'm important, my health is important, and I deserve to have a good, healthy, nourishing meal to start my day.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I also deserve to start my day not fucking freaking out about what needs to be done and who needs me right now and what I need to do, blah, blah, blah.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like starting off the day settled is something that my past self could never do.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Ever, ever.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And as someone who has seen both sides of the spectrum, I can 100% affirm to you guys that even if it seems a little weird, even if it seems like it's not that important, I find it to be tremendously helpful and impactful to actually prioritize breakfast, not just for the sake of eating, but for the sake of showing myself that I'm important and it is safe to start the day not immediately rushing around.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I really feel like this sets the tone for the rest of the day, and it has just made my life so much better.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: The second weird thing that I've really noticed myself pull away from in adulthood, this one's actually gonna sound weird, and I feel like a lot of you guys are gonna be like, what the fuck?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's so dumb, and maybe you're gonna disagree, and that's completely okay.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And just no, I'm not judging anyone or saying that I'm better than anyone else, but or should I say, and the weird thing is the fact that I barely watch any TV shows or movies.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I really don't.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I am not caught up with the lore on a lot of popular shows, on a lot of whatever, because from my experience with movies and TV shows, so many of them, yes, I have watched some very good shows and I've watched some very good movies, but so many of them have some kind of underlying theme that has an intensity to it that I really just think my system cannot handle.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm extremely sensitive when it comes to absorbing the energies of movies and shows, especially when I actually am like really paying attention and I'm like invested and I'm absorbed in it, as these shows and movies are designed to be.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: But like when I'm really when I really get into a show or a movie, especially one with any kind of intense theme where there's a lot of suspense or you know, tragedy, things that really just jack up your nervous system and make you feel like you're literally in the movie experiencing what the characters are experiencing, that sticks with me for like hours, if not like the whole entire day afterwards, sometimes longer.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And this is again why it might sound weird to you guys, but I I really do believe that a lot of our society is very desensitized, very desensitized.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: How the fuck does anyone watch some of the terrifying shit that's just casually on TV or every single movie?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I I laugh now because when I go to my parents' house, you know, my parents will watch TV, like just like normal at night or whatever sometimes.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I just find it so funny that as someone who I don't have TV, like I don't have cable here, and when I go somewhere that does have cable, or even out in public where there's a million screens, and there's you know, movies movies aren't really on in public, so that doesn't apply.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: But when I go to my parents' house and I see the movies that are on or the shows, or we're flipping between the news and the sh like everything, I just I just see so obviously how intense it is.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even think about the news, like every single time that I see a news channel, it is always the exact same fucking story that's being told.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Here's someone who died, here's this terrifying thing to be worried about, here's this shithole that's happening society, like everything's fucked, you're fucked, you're broke, like the world's burning and there's no fucking hope.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you're you're really gonna tell me you don't think that there is a greater reason behind that?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: You don't think that's that like I'm telling you guys, the news, shows, movies, they don't give a fuck about you.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: All they care about is making money off of the fact that you give them attention.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this kind of takes a bit of a turn from just like, oh, I don't watch any shows to like the news as well.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm not trying to be, you know, Mrs.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Negative over here, Miss Negative, but there's a greater agenda behind a lot of things in our society.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: A lot.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not to say that we have to give power to anyone who's at the top, or like, oh my god, we gotta be so scared.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the fact that it we deserve to have the awareness around how we are trying to be influenced by the media that we consume, like, especially when it comes to the main forms of distribution, when it comes to shows or movies, even social media, and especially the news.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: You think about like how normalized it's become to just watch a movie that has like intense violence in it, or like some absolutely horrific thing happening, or like the plot line is just some tragedy, or the news channel is just shoving fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear into your system.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, that's not normal.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: That is not normal.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: That is not healthy, that's not a good way to be living life.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: That is not how we are meant to be consuming things all the time.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Our systems are not wired for that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's just why I say I think that so many of us are just desensitized to the fact that a lot of the content and a lot of what we consume is not something that's actually really suitable for what's probably best for you when it comes to a long-term point of like you know, maintaining a calm nervous system, or I don't know, even just having a positive outlook on life, depending on the context.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's there's way more to shows and movies and everything else beyond just at face value.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's just a show, oh, it's just a movie, oh, it's just the news, whatever.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this stuff will seep into your subconscious mind.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, when you think about the news, for example, and the the the fear there, the constant program of fear.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: When you when the news constantly tells people there's something to be scared of, or movies just normalize like violence or intense themes, or just whatever it may be, you might not realize it, but subconsciously, that is becoming normal to you.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: That is becoming partially what you look for.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: That is becoming something that is on the radar beneath the scenes within your mind.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Everything that we consume gets absorbed, like maybe not as intensely.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: There, you can definitely watch something and not really be bothered by it.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Nonetheless, your brain is always, always, always, always, always just on in the background.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like your subconscious mind is always aware, always absorbing.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: If we actually had to process everything that we were consuming and seeing with our conscious mind, like we would never be able to do it because there's just so much data and information that is constantly coming into our brains through what we see, hear, through all of our senses.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Taste, touch, whatever the fuck.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Feel that's the same as touch.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is oh I'm an engineer.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: What are the five senses?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, anyways, your brain really is always consuming and actively taking note of what you are feeding it.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're constantly feeding it, shows, movies, TV shows, etc., that just all points to similar kind of themes of fear or intensity or violence or like expecting, you know, bad things to happen, then that's kind of what's gonna program a bit of your subconscious mind, or at least in my experience.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is why I felt so deeply affected by movies long after watching them, because it literally just seeps into my system, and then I'm like, get this out.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: I literally cannot shake the feeling of just feeling like weird or like I don't know, just like amped up after this intensity.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because bringing it back to movies and shows, when we're watching these things, I really do feel like our body is sometimes processing them as if we are there, like you can get so involved or feel so connected to what you're watching, so so immersed in a show or a in a TV show or a movie that it literally feels like you are there and your body is reacting as if you are the characters to some degree.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, take everything I'm saying into context with nuance, like not all of this is absolute, not all of this is perfect, but from my experience, that's really how it feels.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And the only thing that has happened from me really not watching basically any shows and not really watching any movies outside of like my three comfort movies, my life has just gotten better.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: I have a lot more peace, it's a lot quieter.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not absorbing the energies or the fear-mongering of the news.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not absorbing any kind of normalized worldview of like tragedy or violence or intense themes, whatever it may be, uh on a general term.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that has genuinely made my life better.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you can still absolutely watch TV shows, watch movies, watch whatever, and have them, it's completely fine.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is not something like I'm not trying to say, oh my god, never watch movies again, I'm better than you, blah blah blah.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is just this is what works for me in terms of something I've noticed has really cleared up a lot of noise from from my head, from my energy, whatever you want to say.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're someone who feels a little bit off about it, or maybe you're just curious to take a step away from you know absorbing as much content, whatever that may look like for you, and come back to it and just see how you feel, or see if it makes you feel different, like just take that as it is, take it as it comes, because like I said, it has only made my life better, and I absolutely do still love, you know, I will absolutely love, appreciate, respect a good show, a good movie.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want to to act like I never want to enjoy these things anymore, or that all movies and shows only program you to to think bad things and to like make you fearful because that's not the case.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: There are there are shows and movies that are very positive, very good, and will obviously benefit your life.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like they will give you more good than like they're they're not the fear-mongering, they're not the whatever, but I'm mainly talking about movies and shows, and especially the news, that's very intense, that will leave you feeling like a certain way afterwards, maybe, or are just very heavy and very based in like a lot of fear.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the ones that I would watch out for, and those are the kind of shows and movies that I do not watch anymore, nor do I have any kind of interest in doing so in literally any capacity.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Number three weird things that I noticed myself stop doing in adulthood, and this one might ruffle some feathers.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is I'm gonna speak so freely right now.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna speak without a filter.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Not like I ever really speak with a filter, but I'm really gonna speak unfiltered here because this one might trigger some people, and if it does, I encourage you to reflect on why it triggers you because triggers are our doorway to growth.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: So something I've really leaned away from in adulthood, not like I was ever really leaning into it in the first place, was left versus right politics.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Literally anything and anyone, any system that is telling you, like, oh my god, the right is evil, oh my god, the left is evil, they're stupid, you're so dumb, they're a bunch of this, they're a bunch of that, and just throwing labels at each other, guys, we are the fucking people who are being controlled by like we are being laughed at, we are fucking being laughed at by the people who actually want to keep us divided, disconnected from both ourselves and also each other, and most importantly, keep themselves in control.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we are fighting over these problems that we think are like the actual root cause of all of the evil, all the bad in the world, guess what?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're never actually gonna have the capacity or awareness to be able to actually solve the root cause of the evil and the bad in the world.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Again, don't need to make this a whole whatever kind of thing.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's there's a lot of nuance here.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of nuance here, but as I said, I'm never someone who has really been super like politically involved in general.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not someone who has been like, oh my god, and even more so, especially as I continue on in adulthood, I it's just so obvious to me that if you if you are fighting over the left versus the right, one side versus the other, like you have already missed the point.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of what fuels that anger is a feeling of like you want the world to be a better place.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: You want the world to be better.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: You see how you think the world might be a better place, and you're being told by whatever, whatever outlet, whoever you think it is, whatever news you're seeing, like you think for some reason that the other side, the other, the other side is the only reason why everything has gone to shit, and they're the bad guys, and they're the evil ones, and they're stupid, and they're whatever, and they're the reason for all the problems.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, the problems that exist in our world today, oh my god, I wish it was as simple as the left versus the right.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: It is not, it is much deeper than that, and it is much bigger than that, and once again, if we are arguing and fighting about left versus right, I am telling you right now, we have already missed the point.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because all of us, anyone who amongst us who is arguing in this fashion, we are all the ones who are being controlled, guys.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like this kind of thinking is a very intelligent way to get people to be distracted from what actually is the problem.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: And as with all things, it comes back to good and evil.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: A very, very simple overview kind of summary of it.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: So to think that it is productive to completely label an entire, you know, generally half of a population as XYZ label just because you are completely generalizing and seeing absolutely no nuance to the fact that we are all just human beings trying to understand the world, trying to do what we think is best, and we just disagree on the exact ways to do that.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you cannot see past that, and you really, really, truly do think that half of the world is evil or stupid.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or whatever, that is a very limited mindset to have.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Extremely limited, and it's also extremely disempowering, not just for you, but for literally anyone amongst us, amongst the crowd, amongst the people who are the ones who are not at the top, who are not in control of all of these systems.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we can absolutely have an impact.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you should care about things that like are very important, and you should care about people, and you should look to make a difference, and you should look to speak your voice and speak your truth and stand up for people.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's important to have the context of what actually allows us to make a difference.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because screaming at each other and bitching about everything and leaning into this very much so, like it's so it's such an easy thing to lean into because when you get people hyped up on drama, on being mad at another side, like there when we have so many of these emotions behind our motivation for being like, oh my god, look, these people are this way, these people are that way, like left versus right, it's it's almost addicting.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like your brain gets addicted to the kind of like cortisol rush that you get from arguing.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, have you ever had an argument with someone?
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: You just had a situation come up, some sort of conflict where you're like, Oh, I am about to go the fuck off on this person, and you you know, settle the conflict.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: You like go off in an email, speaking from personal experience with someone who deserved it, but whatever.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyways, you go off in an email, and it's like a whole thing.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you feel the the heightened state that your body is in after you know going through an argument or like going back and forth with someone, like you feel the kind of cortisol high from that, like the the rush of the stress, and that kind of feeling can literally get addicting, like we can get addicted to the conflict.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: So when we bring this to a wider scale, talking about political parties, and we see it's so obvious in the media, so obvious.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like you zoom out and you see how much, like how strongly a narrative is being pushed when it comes to like us versus them, left versus right, blah blah blah, look, they're so stupid, they're so this, they're so that, and you're calling people out.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like triggering that same response in our brains to want to be like, ooh, conflict, like, ooh, I want to get more of this, I want to keep following this high, whatever.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just a very addicting cycle, but it's also one that does not serve you at all.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it just completely disconnects you from your own power and your own actual ability to make change.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because as important as it is to stay involved and up to date and etc.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't think that living in ignorance is the solution.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think that we need to have a very clear understanding of the fact that the best way to have an impact on the world is to focus on your scope of control.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because you quite literally cannot do anything outside of your scope of control.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of us are focused on things that are far outside of our scope of control.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: Not saying you don't care about them, like you can you can absolutely care about and speak about things that are outside your scope of control, like 100%.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And to also make a difference, to also have an impact.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: The solution is not to just scream at other people and blame them or blame an entire side or whatever.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's such a rigid, fixed way of thinking.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: But the solution is not to just scream that everything's a problem because this side thinks like this or this side voted voted like that.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, honey, again, if we're arguing like that, like you're fighting with the wrong person, I'm telling you, because the person who you actually want to talk to, like, I I don't even know.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: There's there's strings being pulled that are not happening at the level at which we are arguing.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: So to give so much energy to that takes away from your reserves to be able to actually have the focus on the impact that you can make as an individual within your scope of control, most notably, probably on how you treat people, how you show up in your community, how you respect people, what kind of values you show up with for yourself and your life, like you how you lead your life and the decisions you make in your day-to-day life are going to actually help to impact the world and support the changes that you wish to see in the world 100 million thousand times more than it will to just repost dumb, stupid social media things based on accounts that are made to just trigger people or spur conflict or just continue conflict and acting as if we are gonna solve all of our problems by fighting each other at this level of oh my god, left versus right, whatever.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: No, it is the people who are controlling versus the people who are being controlled.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: That is the best I'm gonna describe it.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's the most I'm gonna say, and I have carried this perspective for a long time, but especially in the past couple years, and it's just freeing, it's freeing, it really is.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I again don't mean to say this in a way of like I'm pretentious or I'm better than anyone or blah blah blah.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing like that.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: It is a very freeing perspective to have to understand that, and I feel like I I feel more empowered than ever before to actually inspire change for the systems that I really care about and I really see the flaws in in our day-to-day world.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the best way that I can understand and see how I can have an impact to positively benefit my like use my scope of control to help shape and impact the world to make it a better place.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, weird things I noticed myself really pull away from in adulthood is giving any kind of attention to drama or any kind of gossip.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, once again, not saying this in a pretentious way, I have really noticed that years ago, like especially in college, I was very much almost paranoid about if oh, is someone mad at me?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Is there something going on?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Is there drama?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is there this?
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: Is there that?
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: Blah blah blah blah blah.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think college is also an environment where there's a lot more people who are probably a lot more prone to, you know, talking about certain experiences or things that happened or other people or whatever, not necessarily all to just be, you know, bitchy or blah blah blah, but it's just like the nature of college, I feel.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's a lot of stuff going on, there's a lot of people who you probably know or things that are happening, and there's there's just always something going on.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: Nonetheless, I am never someone who has been someone like I I don't I don't enjoy conflict, I don't enjoy confrontation, I don't think anyone really does.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: And especially in college, like I just oh, I did not, I did not like it when any stupid shit like that came up because even back then I was just like, this is such a fucking waste of time to be so worked up over things that don't fucking matter, that do not fucking matter.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: And where I bring this up as an adult now is yes, my circle may be small, and no, I don't have this wide-spreading sea of close friends.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want that.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I see people who, you know, I hear of see people who are in adulthood who are friends with people where it's just like they're always shit talking, or there's always something to say, or there's oh my god, someone did this, someone did that.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like they are just always gossiping or talking about other people.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I'm at the point in my life, maybe I'm just old, but I'm at the point where it's like I do not want to give my energy to just talking about other people or meaningless, stupid fucking drama because I have nothing better to do with my life.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: That is such a waste of energy.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is such a waste of resources.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you have nothing better to talk about, or nothing better to say than to just be shitting on other people or talking about stupid, petty, useless fucking drama, I want nothing to do with it.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: I want nothing to do with it.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's just so dumb.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's so dumb and it's such a waste.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have my my life, I have had such an impeccable experience to not really I I don't have anyone in my life or in my close circles who are the kinds of people who are just constantly talking shit about anyone else because I don't want that kind of energy near me.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to give my air time to that.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're someone who has if you had a friend come to mind when I think when you when I said the thing about, you know, constantly talking about others or whatever, like if someone's coming to mind, potentially take this as a sign to just consider that, just reflect on it a little bit.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, isn't that interesting that you immediately thought of someone who was just constantly talking about other people?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're the kind of person who is feeling hesitant about wanting to be around that kind of vibe in someone else, let me remind you that you do, in fact, have free will.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: You choose who you give your time, energy, and attention to.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I highly recommend, from personal experience, to no longer ever give your energy, time, and attention to people who are simply committed to being negative assholes and bitching about people for absolutely no reason and talking shit because they have nothing better to do with their lives and they have not worked through a singular ounce of the insecurities that live within them.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your life is gonna get a thousand times better after you remove them from your life and you actually spend time with people who are positive and support you and have better things to do with their life than talk about other people because they're actually making something of their own life.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this with love.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: I truly do say this with love for the people who are, you know, into the gossip, into whatever, blah blah blah, because it's hard to break out of.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to break out of, it's hard to break out of old habits, it's it's difficult to turn inwards and be reflective and be like, oh shit, maybe this isn't actually the healthiest pattern in my life.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a part of life too.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you just need to vent, sometimes you just need to get something out of your system.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're really if you're with someone who is repeatedly just being negative all the time, they are an energy vampire.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: An energy vampire.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And we do not like energy vampires over here, they're not worth your time.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: And if you stop giving airtime to them, you stop giving them attention, I promise you, from my personal experience, your life will be a thousand times more peaceful and a thousand times better.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: Last but not least, number five things I stopped doing in adulthood is letting anyone else's opinions dictate the direction of my life.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, did this not just start the entire journey that has brought this podcast to life and all of my social media and all of my YouTube and everything I've talked about and shared has been started based on the inspiration of me being in the conditions I was in, you know, October, September, October of 2024, after I graduated college and I worked an internship, then I was on the path, I was doing the right thing, I was doing what everyone else wanted me to do that was like successful, blah blah.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I fucking hated it.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: I hated it so much.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: I did not like where I was at so much that I literally had three months between jobs, otherwise known as unemployed, and completely pivoted my career field, changed my plans for grad school, and actually ended up in my dream job and dream career space.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: And my life has been a thousand times better, and I have worked through a lot of the post-grad era, post-grad despair era experience of being someone who's out of college, entering adulthood, not really knowing what I wanted to do, blah blah blah.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I had the inspiration to really go forwards and post on YouTube and post on social media and start all of this in the midst of me going through like probably the very first big chapter of my life where I was making decisions solely for myself and not for the opinions of other people, particularly people who I highly value the opinions of, like my parents, like people who are close to me, like my my sisters, whatever.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I for the first time, again, really actually started making decisions for myself.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it is the most powerful thing that I've ever done and has led me to so much abundance and such a better space in my life that I never would have been able to experience in any capacity if I did not have the audacity to actually listen to myself before listening to everyone else's opinions of me.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, I really do think basically everyone is conditioned to have to care about what other people think of you because your brain literally bases your chances of survival off of am I gonna be accepted by others?
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna be accepted by the tribe?
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna be welcomed to their resources and able to survive, or am I gonna be exiled and living alone and left to hunt and fend for myself in the wild alone and therefore have a much higher chance of dying?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's what your brain is genuinely thinking in the background on a subconscious level, when we are fearing judgment from others.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it can feel really scary to make like choices for yourself not based on the opinions of others when you are really used to feeling a sense of safety from pleasing other people and feeling accepted by other people when you listen to what they want you to do.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna tell you right now, if you keep that up in adulthood, if you always live your life for someone else, if you always live your life with the through the means of I need to get this person's approval, I need to get this person's acceptance, you are going to be miserable.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you are not actually going to be living a life for yourself.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a really big process to work through.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of layers to it, but at an overall high-level perspective, this is one of the first steps that we really need to take for actually gonna be living a life of freedom and being our most organic selves as adults.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, you guys, that is it for today.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: My list of five weird things that I have stopped doing in adulthood that have made my life so much better.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that you guys enjoyed it, got something out of it, had some sort of perspective, opinion, whatever it may be.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you got something out of this episode, even if that something was just being triggered and pissed off.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I hope you got something out of it because all of it is just data and information that you can utilize to make your life better and more deeply understand yourself.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that, I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your day.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Go be your most organic selves, and I will see you in the next one.