Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / Have people ever turned your kindness into an expectation? When did you finally decide enough was enough?

Transcript

Have people ever turned your kindness into an expectation? When did you finally decide enough was enough? · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a playing Hi, wake up and the club.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: On nine four seven.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Is a saying in Zulu that says omnikki sans attacking alok.
• 0:13
  Speaker 4: Oh direct translation, I give you the hand you want
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: the whole hour.
• 0:17
  Speaker 5: Hi, guys, I've hosted my family at my house for
• 0:20
  Speaker 5: probably the past four or five years.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: For my mother's birthday.
• 0:25
  Speaker 5: Right, So this year I caused my brother to ask
• 0:28
  Speaker 5: him what he thinks we should do for Mom's birthday,
• 0:32
  Speaker 5: and he says, we must continue with the family tradition.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Of having everyone over my house.
• 0:40
  Speaker 6: And I was like, I'm sorry, what have you considered
• 0:43
  Speaker 6: the state of the economy?
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, on firstly, I'm.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: On this lady's side.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: And then secondly, how many times must I do something
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: before you guys start expecting it?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Twice?
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Yes? Correct? I think this is a nice edition that
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: they've bought here.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, but yes, we can already do.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: We can host mom's birthday, but surely it can change around.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Now let's go to your house, and your.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: House, don't say we you started this every year on
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: the eighteenth of August. You said, guys, let's gather for
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: Mom's birthday. And you know we didn't interrupt you We
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: didn't interfere because this was your plan.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: Well this year, she'd like to interrupt it and have
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: somebody else.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: Hold No, you never told us that this was the
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: World Cup, and we all have to apply for hosting rights.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Ladies say four years, four.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Years in a row and tradition.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: That's definitely problem. That's more. That's that's that's almost the
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: time it takes you to pay for a car.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: You can refuse.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: My angel, and this is what she's asking us. She's saying,
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: would it be wrong for her to refuse to host
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: her mom's birthday this year?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I say, no, it wouldn't be wrong. Go take your breather.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: It wouldn't be wrong, but I'd be disappointed.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: I will gladly look at your disappointment in the eyes
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: and keep it moving.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: You'd rather you'd really disappoint your mother just to get
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: back at your brother.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: Are you guys doing you? No, I'm not getting back
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: at my brother. I'm trying to keep my money in
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: my bank account.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: Well, we knew four years ago that life was expensive.
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: That's why we never took on the burdens.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: We're just postuous. No, we'll just say, guys, I'll host it.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: But everybody's bringing whatever it needs to be eaten. Maybe
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: you don't even want people in your house. Indeed, maybe
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: you just don't want anyone in your house. You're going
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: through something you don't want anyone. Then just say, guys,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: next year, but you can year.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Everyone's like ah aa, keep the status poll. This is
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: how things are now.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: Then you right, you open the door and you're just
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: in your pajamas.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Make it so unpleasant for them. You're that they're like, oo,
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: never coming back here.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: No, man, I think it's a wonderful tradition.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: But so because you're on her side, how would you
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: pitch it?
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: What would you say? Then?
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I would say, guys, this year, I think we should
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: host somebody else's house. And then keep quiet, keep quiet,
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: don't offer any more solutions, like maybe Frankie at your
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: house in your.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Garden with God.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: But the more you talk, the more all you're doing
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: is making it come all the way round back to
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: your house. Just say I think we should host that
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: somebody else house.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Keep quiet, look the other way.
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: But this is your thing. No, no like, and this
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: happens guys. You guys always take on these things. Oh,
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: I always host Christmas until the one year when you're broke.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: It's not our problem now, babes, We've all been planning
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: around you for years.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: That's a very good example because my sister hosts Christmas
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: every year. Every year. She minds about it every single year.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: But now it's I mean, it's spent ten years now,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: we love it. We come there, we have the same
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: old gammon.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: And then you get there.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: Do you know what the problem is? Also, Frankie among
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: the self appointed hosts looking at right across from me.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: Then they come to your house and then they've got
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: notes on everything you've done, because at my house this
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: is what I would have done.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Now you could have put in a little bit more effort. Hey, hey, brother, oh.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: One one eight thirty eight nine four seven.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Have you ever found yourself in the same situation as
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Siba where now the state comes around every year and
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: people think that's you. You've you've almost become the Durbin's
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: you like. Imagine New Durbin was tired of hosting us, didn't.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: You like, guys? Where would we go?
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Zero eight four double zero double zero nine four seven?
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: How did you get out of it? How tough were
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: the conversations to be? Like guys, Actually this year, I
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: don't want.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: To host Christmas.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: This is this is a moment for you to share
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: your frustration of how you accidentally created the tradition and
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: that backs you now.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: And the question stands, how many times must you do
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: something before it is called a tradition?
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: I don't even know, Like you know, if you say,
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: can I come into your house in charge? I don't
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: even allow that because you think it's licensed to visit.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: No, I'm gonna ask you, you bet this how many times?
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Twice? I'm saying twice two years. If it's two annual events,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: that's then that's the tradition.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: On one one eight eight thirty eight ninety four seven,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: send us a voice called zero eight four double zero
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: double zero nine four seven.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: What do you think of Siba's dilemma?
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: II?
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: Guys, I've hosted my family at my house for probably
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: the past four or five years for my mother's birthday. Right,
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: So this year I called my brother to ask him
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: what he thinks we should do for Mom's birthday and
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: he says we must continue with the family tradition of
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: having everyone over my house.
• 5:16
  Speaker 6: And I was like, I'm sorry, what have you considered
• 5:20
  Speaker 6: the stage of the economy.
• 5:21
  Speaker 7: Guys, this is somebody's birthday. It's about that person and
• 5:25
  Speaker 7: making it special for that person. I think you all
• 5:28
  Speaker 7: need to get over yourselves and however you work it
• 5:30
  Speaker 7: sort of stuff out, but I think it's making it
• 5:32
  Speaker 7: special for that person.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: This is exactly why I had stopped suggesting things, because.
• 5:38
  Speaker 8: Now I only be the host the most sith no, okay,
• 5:41
  Speaker 8: must kip quiet.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Say I blame see that from the first host thing.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Why didn't she ask everybody to contribute?
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: So I asked JGBT, how many times must you host
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: an event at your house before it's deemed the tradition.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: JUDGBT says there's no official rule, but socially people trying
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: to treat it like this. Once is an event, Twice
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: it's something we.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Do three years, four occasions in a row.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: Most people start calling it a tradition because there's an
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: expectation that it will happen again five or more. Babe,
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: it's firm you established. People start asking, hey, so what
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: are we doing it this year?
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Exactly, No twice, I'm saying twice twice, and we
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: start saying, okay, next year, it's to do your place.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: I think five years, No, no, no, five No, guys,
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: five years is the round number. Okay, we're on our
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: way to ten. I think at five years we can
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: start thinking it's a tradition.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: If we've got two brides at your house to watch
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: the rugby. The next time the rugby comes around, we're
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: asking you.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Ask your house is loft this fastida your house.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Is exactly it's the pre game definitely.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: J W in Victoria, good morning, good morning.
• 6:43
  Speaker 9: How are you?
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: We are fantastic, how are you?
• 6:46
  Speaker 10: I'm great?
• 6:46
  Speaker 9: Thank you.
• 6:47
  Speaker 10: I just want to add to j gpt over there.
• 6:49
  Speaker 10: But does the United traditions can die?
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, thank you.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: This is what I'm saying that, or it can shift.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have to die. We can shift it to Frankie's.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: House this year.
• 7:00
  Speaker 10: This is exactly what happened to me at the beginning
• 7:03
  Speaker 10: of the month with my dad's birthday.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Recent Yeah, the wounds afresh.
• 7:10
  Speaker 10: I always plan everything, I take the reins. I'm a
• 7:14
  Speaker 10: little late boy, and then this this month I just decided, no,
• 7:18
  Speaker 10: I don't feel like it.
• 7:19
  Speaker 9: And I'm incited to say that.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: So I just said I don't feel like having people
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: ever tell.
• 7:24
  Speaker 10: Me what the arrangements are. When I should arrive, how
• 7:26
  Speaker 10: I can contribute? I mean I ended up going to
• 7:28
  Speaker 10: the Spur. My dad loved it so.
• 7:31
  Speaker 9: Better than this is exactly we got the reps.
• 7:35
  Speaker 10: We got our mouth dirty or the ball of a time.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: Do you know what I think the problem is. I
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: don't think there's an issue with you not wanting to host.
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: It's you now expecting someone else to pick up the
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: responsibility when the rest of us have never ever presented
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: ourselves to be the host.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you.
• 7:54
  Speaker 10: You've been expecting this all the time from.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: Me on the other end of the We're just like,
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: you know, I've done this now four or five times.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: You have now all this pent up energy that you have.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Saved from doing nothing, and we're just hoping that we
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: can tap into your reserves for a moment.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but we have different strengths. Like I know, when
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: I arrived, mineus to keep the conversation going.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: You're just definitely the cooking Mine is not that you know.
• 8:20
  Speaker 10: You know, that's the true economy she was talking about.
• 8:23
  Speaker 10: Her energy economy is depleted. It's time for you to
• 8:27
  Speaker 10: pick up the game.
• 8:27
  Speaker 7: Now.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: I almost hear people saying, oh, you know, the best
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: day to leave the parties.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: You must tell no one.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: That's never happened to me because I've never had to
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: leave any party because the party.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Is always at my house. Briefina, good morning, good morning.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: What do you think, Raffhini?
• 8:42
  Speaker 7: If she wanted to be the favorite child, she can continue,
• 8:46
  Speaker 7: bring one.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: We will just watch. I'm not during that.
• 8:50
  Speaker 7: I'm not hosting.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: You did that for four years.
• 8:53
  Speaker 6: You never asked for.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: Help for four years.
• 8:55
  Speaker 6: Continue, my sister, I'll send you an efp.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Here here is the crown. Hey, as favorite children, we
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: know this. Heavy is the problem. Continue, my love. Your
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: daddy loves you so much. He's so good.
• 9:08
  Speaker 9: No, no, Hi, guys.
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: I've hosted my family at my house for probably the
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: past four or five years for my mother's birthday. Right,
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: So this year I called my brother to ask him
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: what he thinks we should do for Mom's birthday, and
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: he says, we must continue with the family tradition of
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: heaving everyone over my house.
• 9:34
  Speaker 6: And I was like, I'm sorry, what have you considered
• 9:38
  Speaker 6: the state of the economy.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, look, since she's supplying the venue, she's paying for
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: the venue. Everyone else was to do everything else.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: So she sorted she sorted out the venue she's organized.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: My mother stays outside the country and then so she
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: usually comes here for holidays.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: So now it's been made of family tradition.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: Just because now I'm the one who has to picky
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: after the airport and then she has to stay with me.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: They come and just open the fridge and hey, whatever
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: they want to have, and they.
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: Don't bring anything at all. This is lulu fut.
• 10:11
  Speaker 5: The city cale Antonia was going mail because now you
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: started this and now you want people to chip in,
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: just because we know you are progue.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: We've already put the upsits for the day, she.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Says, And this is when it says, don't start things
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: you can't finish. So now you want to pull out
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: halfway through. I feel seen.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: And because for.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: My birthday this remember I was just like I don't
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: want to have a party.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and everyone was like no, no, no, no, no no.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: And this I mean to be fair. This is an
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: expectation you created because we've been having parties for ten years.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Now, teams and everything.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Oh sorry, I retract twenty years. Every year there's an
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Ely's party and it's fun and we all get together,
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: and I can understand this year you said I'm not
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: going to do something big again. I want to just
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: do something at my house.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: I didn't even want a party. And then my husband
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: was like, there's noways you. I'm not having a birthday
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: party exactly.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: So we had something small. Did that not backfire?
• 11:10
  Speaker 8: So one day I'm sitting there, so I chatter in
• 11:12
  Speaker 8: the morning, I coolie said happy birthday, my friend.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I hope you have a good one. YadA, YadA, YadA.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I'm sitting there thinking to myself, you know, in the
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: year I.
• 11:18
  Speaker 8: Didn't will send me an invite for a birthday party
• 11:21
  Speaker 8: of sorts, And I'm waiting.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: I'm waiting, I'm waiting. I go on social media. I
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: see monthay post? Did I see tt oh posts?
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: Why did I.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: See other friends of house posts?
• 11:31
  Speaker 8: And they're all at Danniella's house for her birthday and
• 11:34
  Speaker 8: I'm at my house sitting on my couch.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: Jane cz we were looking at the invites and I
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: had to take yours.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: I had to take yours.
• 11:41
  Speaker 8: I couldn't believe it. I even courts really. I caught
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: really that day and I was like, really, really, what happened?
• 11:47
  Speaker 8: You're at the party? Are you at the party. He
• 11:48
  Speaker 8: also was like no, I'm not there, brother.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Tt oh out her acting like you was invited as
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: a case when he was invited to come.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: And do he was working.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: I'm like tt oh mention that mentioned that you are hi,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: can't take photos after making you feel like the lost.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Child yet Yeah, and look, I mean to be fair.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I understand Ciz because he has been invited to most
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: of the parties, but it was a much smaller fair
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: this year, really just close to the friends and family.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Nan.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Like the closest of the just you know.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: In a second, Tristan, you are in douglas Dale. Good morning,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Good morning guys.
• 12:30
  Speaker 8: Are you guys?
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: Day?
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: We are great? How are you? Buddy? Good?
• 12:33
  Speaker 9: Thank you for someone the radio. Brother welcome.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Because he wants to break a tradition.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Tristan tell us about the tradition that you are tired
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: of being in charge of the custodian of this thing.
• 12:45
  Speaker 9: Okay, so I'm sure you got the one way of
• 12:47
  Speaker 9: the old tra music festival that happens every every single
• 12:50
  Speaker 9: year there in Nazak. So one, me and my brother,
• 12:54
  Speaker 9: when you're still living with my parents decided, okay, guys,
• 12:56
  Speaker 9: you're gonna preject for the music festival at first it
• 13:01
  Speaker 9: was great, like everybody bought their drinks and everybody had
• 13:03
  Speaker 9: a great time. We jump into our UPI's and head.
• 13:06
  Speaker 9: But then the following year they got suggested that it
• 13:09
  Speaker 9: happens at my house again, and I was like, okay, cool.
• 13:14
  Speaker 9: And then third year comes around, guys when we go
• 13:16
  Speaker 9: into Tristans for pre drinks, and eventually myself and my
• 13:21
  Speaker 9: parents are going, okay, cool. This is getting a bit much,
• 13:24
  Speaker 9: And obviously the cleanup is the biggest problem. They built
• 13:28
  Speaker 9: battles and they brandy and all that kind of stuff,
• 13:31
  Speaker 9: and yeah, slowly but surely it started getting a bit
• 13:34
  Speaker 9: on our nose. I don't lie, but since we moved
• 13:37
  Speaker 9: out out of our parents' house and pre drinks is
• 13:40
  Speaker 9: not somebody else's. But uh yeah, then at the time
• 13:43
  Speaker 9: it's just after ten twelve hour music festival, the cleanup
• 13:47
  Speaker 9: is not ideal.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: So basically, everybody that's listening to you that's trying to
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: break a tradition like this knows now that they.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Have to move house before the tradition dies on.
• 13:59
  Speaker 9: You need to really in order to get that right.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you, Yeah, thanks, guys, I'm moving to Greece
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: because it's the only way. I want to get out
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: of throwing my birthday parties here.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: But this is such an intense tradition twist, and because
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: it also means you got to bouy Oultra tickets every year,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: so you're committing not you're committing not only to the
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: pre drinks, you're committing to a whole festival year after
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: year after year.
• 14:19
  Speaker 9: She sells an hand for the tickets, and then it's
• 14:23
  Speaker 9: your house.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: The one year you don't want to go to Ultra,
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: then we're like, no, it's fine, In fact, even better,
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: We'll come to your house and we'll leave you at
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: your house, back to making your morning and
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: On nine four seven