Latest / Brett Keane and Eve Show / Brett Keane Prayers - Why I Believe in God and Never Give Up

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Brett Keane Prayers - Why I Believe in God and Never Give Up · Brett Keane and Eve Show

0:09
If I only could. I make a deal with God and I get
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in to swamp our places, be running up the moon, be running
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up that hill, be running up that building.
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If they only could. Hello ladies and gentlemen, my
0:39
name is Brett Keene and you are watching and listening to GOD TV
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Radio and I hope that you're all having a wonderful day out
0:47
there. I Before we get into the
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miracles and reasons why I continue to believe in God and
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why I don't give up, why it is that I was able to go from being
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an atheist to a theist and I found myself actually much
1:08
happier, even though I've taken a lot of pressure and hate from
1:13
people who don't think like me or people who don't share in the
1:17
idea that there's a God. We'll talk about this, but first
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I want to allow you all to know. In case you don't know or you're
1:25
new to the channel, I do have a radio station where you can
1:28
listen to me on Spotify, Amazon Music, as well as thousands of
1:34
other extensions all through apps as well as your stereo, car
1:39
stereo and all that. Also, you can support me VI,
1:42
PayPal, Cash App, or you can even buy some T-shirts or some
1:46
of the merchandise and products that I have out there.
1:50
Because my health feels as though it's improving.
1:54
I actually feel like I can breathe better.
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I feel like I don't have as much pressure on my heart as I was
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having a couple weeks ago when I felt like it was about time to
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throw in the towel and retire from YouTube.
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I've been eating a little bit better.
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My wife's been taking real good care of me and I've been feeling
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better. And that's one of the big
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reasons why I was able to do the live show that I did just
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yesterday where I interviewed and had a discussion with a
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atheist woman and then shortly afterwards end up allowing
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guests to come into the room. I do want to apologize to
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people. We had a guy that was in the
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room who seemed supportive of me, seemed like he was wanting
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to be friendly with the people in the room, but he continued to
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use the racial slur, the N word. And he also called a couple
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people. Well, I don't know if it was him
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or a religious person called Christ a sword who actually
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called people FAGGOT repeatedly and also suggested or implied
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that some of the guests in my room were going to burn in hell.
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And he was tickled about it. Yeah, unfortunately, because I
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do a public show, ladies and gentlemen, I get folks like
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this, and I am personally not offended by any type of words
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that atheist or religious people use when they're in my rooms.
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I don't care what you call each other.
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The problem is, is that YouTube has terms of service and
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community guidelines, and if you're out there saying that
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kind of stuff, you'll end up getting my channel screwed up.
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I don't care if you could sit there and call each other
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assholes and losers all day long, but if you use certain
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words that go against political agendas, then I get caked for
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it. And that not only hurts my
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channel, but it also hurts all the people who actually use my
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or utilize my channel to have a place to discuss things and make
4:15
new friends and meet people and have good discussions and all
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that. And a lot of people out there,
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they really appreciate that. Even some of the people out
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there who hate me, they admit that I am one of the only shows
4:29
in town where anybody and everybody can actually
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participate and share their ideas and thoughts.
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And it also gives people a place where they can let off some
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steam and get some shit off their chest and everything.
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Or, you know, whatever, it's all good.
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And I personally don't care if people yell at each other
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either, you know, providing that I don't have a headache that day
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and I have Tylenol next to me or ibuprofen.
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I usually prefer ibuprofen and there's some special aspirin I
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like out there. So there's that.
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So I hope people realize that the reason why I'm so stiff
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whenever it comes to that kind of shit, it's not because I want
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to be that way or that's my moral code.
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It simply is that I don't want to get fucking clanked on
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YouTube. So oh, and by the way, before I
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end this part of the segment, some of you out there, you've
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actually argued with me in the past.
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I've had black people who come on to my show and use the N word
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and they say, you know what's the problem?
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I'm black. Why can't I use those words?
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Well, The thing is, for one, a lot of you, you don't even
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bother to put your face on the camera.
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So if YouTube were to actually investigate the video, they're
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not going to know that. And I'm not really sure that
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they give a fuck what color you are or how you how that means
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that it's OK to morally use certain words just because of
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your race. I don't know where people get
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that idea from. I'm black so therefore I can use
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certain words or I'm gay so I can call another gay a hateful
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anti homosexual comment or label, you know what I mean?
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You ever see people like that where they think because of
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their race or their sexuality that somehow gives them the
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privilege to be able to call people things that other people
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who do not share their ideology or their skin color think?
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It's kind of like, you know, you get the free race card or the
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free whatever. I don't understand that fucking
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bullshit at all. But I also don't understand why
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YouTube even gives a rat's ass. YouTube allows pornography
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murder clips from movies where people are getting their fucking
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heads blown off or their hearts pulled out of their chest and
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shit. If you just watch some of the
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scenes from The Boys, you know, that TV show with evil
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superheroes and YouTube seems to be just fucking fine with that
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kind of shit. But I digress.
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You know, I had somebody say to me today and I think it was a
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non believer. They said, bright, you just you
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just don't give up, do you? You just you're not, you're
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never actually going to give up. I've made countless videos in
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the past because of my health issues or because I simply got
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fucking bored where I said all right, I'm taking off and
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sometimes I'll take off for a couple weeks, sometimes I'll
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take off for a couple years. It is what it is.
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Even if you wait a couple years and then you return.
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It's as if non believers don't even how do how do I put this?
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It's like time never even went anywhere for them.
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Two years is like a day to them. You know, they don't distinguish
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that. Oh, the guy did leave for a
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couple years, but he came back and stuff.
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He changed his mind and found another reason why he wants to
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do things. But one of the reasons why I do
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continue to do YouTube and the reason one of the reasons I
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continue to believe in God is because I do have a lot of
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social media accounts like Twitter or Facebook.
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I have my community section and I have e-mail and phone number
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put out there publicly. That's right.
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I get lots of people who call me.
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Now to be fair, a lot of non believers who call me, they
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usually make threats or they call names or they're stupid
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enough to leave their phone number and record extremely
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horrific messages and they're absolutely shocked whenever I
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call them back. Which I eventually find out that
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a lot of these people who run their mouths are usually
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teenagers or young adults who just so happen to live with
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their mommies and daddies. It's always mommy and daddy who
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answers the phone when Uncle Brady calls back to one of these
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lines. And it's always Uncle Brady that
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tells the mom and dad, hey, you've got a a hostile,
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aggressive child over there that seems to think it's funny
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calling people up and making death threats or saying ignorant
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shit. I don't enjoy that.
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I don't like calling some atheist family and talking to
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the parents and shit like that. But my goodness, somebody has to
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get control of these fucking kids out here, am I right?
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Ladies and gentlemen? It's preposterous.
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If my children were to make phone calls to people that they
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don't know and say ignorant shit like that, I'd be extremely
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fucking disappointed. You know, of course my kids
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don't do that. They're not retarded.
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So, you know, But one of the thing, one of the great things
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about being a believer in God, ladies and gentlemen, is that
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for me and for most religious people I've ran into, even if we
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don't share in a lot of our theology or agree on a lot of
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things, there is a lot of things that we find common ground on.
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No matter how dark life and existence gets, you always have
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that feeling that there's hope at the end of the tunnel, that
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there's light that can be found in the darkness.
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I remember whenever I was a non believer and things went Shetty
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or things went S for me, I wasn't sure which way to go, you
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know? I felt like I was trapped a lot
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of times. I felt like my goodness.
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Is my life predetermined? Is this simply where my
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chemistry takes me? Is this life?
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Are we nothing more than animals?
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And if so, then why should anybody care if they hurt me or
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if I hurt them or anything like that?
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Especially if there's nobody watching or listening or paying
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attention, Why would it even matter?
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But even though I had that thought process, there was
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another part of me always that said in my mind and in my heart,
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it's not right to hurt people. It's not right to deliberately
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and intentionally go out of your way to hurt someone.
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I do feel even now, and I felt this way before, that I've
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always desired for there to be justice.
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You know, I was talking to that young lady, that atheist woman
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yesterday on my show and she said that her politics are that
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she simply doesn't want people to be Dicks, that we should
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protect decency and all that. And my concept of decency is to
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do on to others as you want, done unto you, treat others as
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you want to be treated. And I prefer it that way.
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I like doing nice things for people.
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I like doing good. It really, really brings up my,
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what is it called? Dopamine as she used it really
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makes me feel good about the world around me and makes me
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feel good internally when I do good things for folks.
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One of the things I really appreciate is I love making new
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friends. I especially love making new
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friends that not only have good hearts, but people who are
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intelligent and articulate and actually think about life around
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them. You know, I was talking to this
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young lady named High Priestess yesterday and at first I felt
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like I was not going to enjoy her company because she kind of
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responded to me in the same way that a lot of non believers
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have. Whenever I've had talks with
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them where when you ask them what are your hobbies or what do
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you believe or what do you think about life or blah blah blah.
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And their answer is oh I don't give a fuck, I don't care.
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I don't give a rat's ass about anything.
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I've discovered that people who say shit like that are usually
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the most sensitive, caring people that there are, believe
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it or not. I've discovered that people who
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are really sensitive and people who have been very kind and
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caring and very sensitive to the world around them, they've been
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hurt so much and they've had so much should happen to them that
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now they pretend to themselves. And I guess it's for some kind
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of, it's a survival mechanism where they just say I don't give
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a shit, I don't care. But they're the first ones who
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when someone needs somebody's help or they need a friend or
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whatever, a person like that usually suddenly goes from not
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giving a shit to trying. The problem with a person like
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this is that when they try to do good to other people, or they
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try to do good themselves, and someone fucks them over or
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betrays them or abandons them after they've done everything
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that they perceive as right, they feel like they've been
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broken into a million pieces. They feel like injustice has
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been done. I know that because I myself,
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growing up, I used to wear my heart on my sleeve.
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I used to, I used to want to help everybody.
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I'm the type of guy that I see someone who's homeless and shit.
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Ioffer blankets, Ioffer food. I suggest to them places they
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could go or do they need a ride, things like that.
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So can't do that part of it as much as I used to whenever I was
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younger because I have agoraphobia now and I don't
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drive anymore. My wife does most of the
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driving, as well as family members and friends.
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It's dangerous for me to attempt to drive on like an open highway
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or something like that. For those out there who do not,
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who've never experienced the effects of agoraphobia, I would.
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If I were you, I would watch a film or a documentary that is
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called agoraphobia. And also there's a movie called
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Copycat where Sigourney Weaver, you know, the woman who plays
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the badass in the movie Aliens, the sequels and shit, she has
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agoraphobia and Copycat and the camera does a really good job of
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showing what it looks like for a person with agoraphobia and what
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happens to their equilibrium whenever the shit goes down.
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You may want to check that out if you'd like to see what it's
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all about. Two kinds of agoraphobias,
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ladies and gentlemen. One where people don't like the
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open areas. And then the other spectrum is
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people don't want to be around other people, that it causes a
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major anxiety. There's a probably a lot of non
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believers out there that have agoraphobia and they probably
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don't even know it. They probably never even heard
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the word. It's if you find when you're
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around people that you get really anxious and you feel like
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everybody's out to get you, there's that.
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But that could also be paranoia. It's like an abused dog, it
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doesn't quickly come to humans after it's been kicked a few
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times and sheddered mistreated. Well, like I was saying earlier,
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whenever it comes to the concept of God, it puts me on a
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different level where I actually feel like there's hope.
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Whenever I'm up against what I feel are impossible odds,
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something inside of me says we can accomplish this, we can do
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this, we can make this happen because God is with us.
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And it gives me that extra motivation, that ambition or
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that strength that is required in order to do things that most
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people would think breaks up. Growing up in the household that
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I did and dealing with the abuse that I dealt with by my family
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and ship whenever I was younger, if it wasn't for believing in
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God whenever I was a kid, I really don't believe I'd be here
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now. I really believe that I would
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have probably either committed suicide or I would have been a
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complete wreck. I'm still surprised today after
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having so many negative influences around me.
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Growing up in Saint Louis, being around teenagers who were doing
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drugs all the time and drinking, being around people who are
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physically violent and abusive. I'm pretty surprised and proud
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of myself. Yes, I yes, I pat myself on the
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back for this, but I'm not a abusive or violent or aggressive
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person. In fact, I'm pretty chill.
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I can take a lot of shit thrown at me and I think people are
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probably can vouch for that. A lot of you have seen the heat
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and the hatred that I've received from certain groups on
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YouTube and you don't see me whining about it or crying and
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shed or going or anything like that.
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I do get sad if somebody, I I will get upset and it does cause
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me to weep a bit if somebody promises me something and I've
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worked for it and I've done everything that I could.
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It's like a person, if you were working a job and you worked
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your ass off for two weeks and you're waiting for that paycheck
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and your boss for her to tell you, sorry, our business went
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under. So therefore we can't pay you a
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fucking dime of the two weeks that you worked your ass off.
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Something like that could cause me to weep or the death of a
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child that could cause me to weep.
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But name calling and accusations and insults and shit, that just
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rolls right off Uncle Brady. I just, it just doesn't do
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nothing for me. It's not that I'm like that high
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priestess woman or somebody who just simply says I don't give a
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shit or I don't care. I do care.
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I do give a shit. But mostly it's just kind of
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confusing for me. It's like.
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Why would anyone want to try to fuck me over or do something
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wrong? I'm a good person, I'm morally
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justified in the choices that I've made, I'm intelligent, I'm
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articulate, and I always give people the benefit of the doubt.
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So right off the bat, before I even get into a conflict or
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engagement, I'm already convinced that I'm a decent
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person and I do not deserve to be disrespected or treated like
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dog shit. And I won't put up with it
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either. But again, it's not because I
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don't care or because I don't worry or concern myself with
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other people's feelings. It's just what he's supposed to
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do with someone who's irrational or, you know, or an idiot.
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You see what I mean? A lot of people make the
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mistake, especially when they're younger, when you're being
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abused, whether it's by your wife or by your husband or
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you're being abused by kids at school or being abused by family
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members or some shit like that. Some people get to a point where
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they start blaming themselves. They start telling themselves,
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well, these people love me, but they just, you know, I do bad
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things or I make bad choices and I have to be punished for it.
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Some people actually feel that way.
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They feel like they deserve to be hurt.
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They feel they don't have any value and they feel they have
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to. They should be disrespected, you
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know, and that's sad. That's horrible.
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But I don't, I don't feel in any way.
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And I didn't feel whenever I was a kid that I deserved any of the
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shit that I took. And I feel like I don't deserve
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a lot of the shit that I take nowadays.
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I'm sure that some people out there would make reasons and all
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that, but, you know, make up their reasons why they think
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it's OK to abuse people. But you know, that's their
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fucking problem. If that's something you actually
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think about. If if you sit around and you
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think yourself, huh, you know, it's good of me to hurt people,
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it's good of me to do things, and then I think that you might
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be mentally ill and need to seek therapy.
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If you actually sit around and think about each day how you can
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hurt somebody because you think they deserve it or you know like
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an example how they do it on YouTube.
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I've seen countless times where people like Von Hilton, my
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friend John, I seen a guy called Jared Genesis, I believe is how
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his name is pronounced. He's since he's been a young man
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making YouTube videos, the same podcaster group who 24/7
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harassed me for years. They won't leave this kid alone.
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They he's been one of their first people that they abuse and
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he's never desired to go on the show.
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He doesn't desire to even engage them, but they just simply won't
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leave him alone and he can't go anywhere.
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He can't say anything anywhere without them constantly up his
23:32
ass. And sad to say, when he tries to
23:36
make new friends or he tries to have discussions with people or
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just share his life, they're right there every moment of the
23:45
day to make fun of the way he looks, to make fun of the way he
23:48
sounds and everything. I think that these people would
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throw a party if they managed to push him to the point where he
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basically gutted himself. That's one of the reasons,
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ladies and gentlemen, too, why I believe so strongly in God.
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And I know some of you are going to be like, what?
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People who abuse other people, people who hurt other people,
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people who do all these evil fucking things makes you believe
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in God? Well, yeah.
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You see, when I read the Bible, the Bible tells me that there's
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evil people. It tells me that evil is a real
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thing. It tells me that there is a
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darkness that covers the earth like a fucking mist, and that
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humans are affected by it. And humans get these bad ideas
24:38
in their head where they like to harm each other and do wrong.
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If humans weren't like that, then Jesus would have had no
24:44
reason to demand that we treat each other right or do unto
24:49
others. If we were good people, then God
24:52
would have never had to lay down the 10 commandments in the Old
24:55
Testament. Now God knew it.
24:59
God knew that some people were going to be awful.
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God knew that the reason why hell came into existence was
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people like this needed a place where they could be destroyed
25:10
and executed spiritually. That's why I'm an
25:13
annihilationist. I do believe in objective evil,
25:17
and I believe that objective evil, although very awful and
25:21
terrible, is living, breathing proof that God is real.
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You see, I believe that God objectively created the
25:32
universe. I believe that reality is an
25:35
objective truth. And I believe that when God said
25:41
that there is good and evil, God spoke these these concepts into
25:46
existence and good and evil, light and love, and all these
25:51
concepts that are very important and valuable to us as humans are
25:55
objective concepts. If God says there's objective
26:00
evil, then that means that whether you believe it is real
26:03
or not, or whether the entire human race says no, it's not, it
26:08
is because God actually created this universe.
26:12
It's like a a person, if they decided to develop a video game
26:16
or program a game and they know that there's going to be enemies
26:21
in the game, enemy NPCS and good NPCS, and there's going to be
26:26
quest and goals for you to achieve.
26:30
Well, in order for it to be a proper game, you got to have
26:33
your drama and you also got to feel as though you've
26:36
accomplished something whenever you do something good.
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Some games are open world, open sandbox, where you can choose to
26:44
be a bad guy or a good guy. I've always chosen to be the
26:48
good guy, even in the pixel world, ladies and gentlemen,
26:52
because that's just how I am. So I just when I look at this
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world, I can clearly see the evil in the darkness in it, and
27:09
I can also see the beauty in it. And I can also see the good.
27:14
I can see whenever a woman has a baby and she's holding her baby,
27:20
that for her, that's living proof of an Angel.
27:24
And when I see evil, when I see people who hurt children or
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abuse people, when I see people getting off whenever they cause
27:34
someone else to stumble, or when they try to break somebody's
27:38
self esteem down or take somebody's self worth and value
27:42
away, to me that's evil. When someone tries to take
27:48
someone's freedom away or end their life or physically harm
27:53
them or mutilate them. To me, these things are
27:56
objective evil. They're not simply an opinion.
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They're not just simply, oh, I think that that's wrong, but
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other people might think it's OK.
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So therefore it's subjective. Now, there are some things in
28:10
this world that are true and they are objective and they are
28:15
real. No matter how much people try to
28:19
delude themselves, there are certain things that are real and
28:23
true. And sometimes, unfortunately,
28:26
some people have to feel evil and they have to have evil done
28:32
upon them before they're able to understand and sympathize and
28:37
recognize that there truly is evil out there.
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And it's sad. Some people have to learn the
28:43
hard way. So because of the beauty and
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because of the things that I see, you hear a lot of non
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believers say things like I don't see the, you know, I don't
29:07
see the good, I don't see the design of God here.
29:12
I asked that atheist woman just yesterday and it's a question
29:15
I've asked commonly, but it's a valid question.
29:19
Do you believe that any of the video games that exist or have
29:23
existed could have been programmed by nature or come
29:28
into existence through physics and natural laws?
29:33
Or does every game that has ever existed, that has a universe to
29:37
it, or its own lore, or its own storyline, its own concepts, its
29:42
own goals, accomplishments, and even the very concept of game
29:46
over? Does that require a programmer
29:50
or a designer? One of my favorite things to say
29:55
is one of the shortest passages in the Bible is Jesus wept.
30:02
Does anybody out there believe that those two words could be
30:05
found in nature without the assistance of an intelligent
30:09
designer? These are not only are these two
30:13
words, but these two words mean something.
30:16
Words do actually have value to them.
30:20
There are significance and relevance to certain words.
30:23
There are certain things that a person can say or ideas that can
30:28
be represented or portrayed that can actually impact the reality
30:32
and impact humanity on the whole.
30:35
There are ideas and thoughts that can be spoken that can
30:41
completely change the future of mankind or our present day.
30:47
There are things that have been said and done that have
30:51
completely altered our past and why it is that we are the people
30:55
we are today. I believe that words are
30:59
powerful. I believe that faith is even
31:03
more powerful. I believe that if we're in a
31:08
race and you were truly convinced that you can win and
31:14
you can commit this faith into your own body and into your own
31:18
heart, it is possible to be able to win.
31:23
It is possible to be able to do the things you do in your life
31:26
if you just simply tell yourself and convince yourself that it's
31:30
possible and that you can do it when faced up against the wall,
31:36
If you convince yourself that you can climb the wall or get
31:39
through the wall, you'll find a way.
31:43
I don't believe that things are impossible, and I don't feel
31:47
like things are unknowable. That's one of the reasons why I
31:52
could never be an agnostic, even whenever I was skeptical.
31:57
Why? Because by definition, an
32:00
agnostic is one who claims that you can never know either way
32:05
when it comes to certain things. I don't believe that.
32:09
Even whenever I was an atheist, I was convinced that even though
32:14
I don't entertain the concept of God, if there is a God and he is
32:19
real, there will be a point in my life where I will find out
32:25
either way. And some people are going to
32:28
ask, well, how is that? Well, the way I figured it,
32:32
ladies and gentlemen, is that if I was wrong and there was a God,
32:36
I was going to die eventually with my health issues.
32:40
I knew that that was a not something I'd have to wait long
32:45
to figure out. Was I scared of having my soul
32:50
obliterated? Was I scared of hell?
32:53
To be honest with you, no, I wasn't afraid of hell.
32:57
In fact, I already felt like I was in a form of hell.
33:01
I felt like life was hell whenever I was an atheist.
33:06
I felt like being around other non believers was like being
33:11
around demons because they had all the same traits and
33:14
personality that religious people tell you about demons,
33:18
that they're cruel and they're sadistic and they enjoy
33:24
wickedness, especially whenever it's done upon others.
33:29
So you see, I always at that time felt like I was in hell
33:32
anyway, so going some other place that was like it, with the
33:37
temperature risen, it wasn't really my concern.
33:41
The thing that scared me, ladies and gentlemen, the thing that
33:44
bothered me was do I know what I'm talking about?
33:50
Do I actually have the truth? Do I just think I know the truth
33:54
because I've been wrong before in life?
33:57
What if I'm wrong about this? Any atheist of course, will say,
34:01
but you know, what if, what if, What if?
34:04
You know that doesn't even matter.
34:06
It does. It does.
34:08
It's like saying what if I decide I want to drive past that
34:11
red light? What if I want to do something
34:15
that's not morally correct? What if, you know?
34:18
What if is the the very thing that teaches us and it helps our
34:23
brains figure out what not to do and what to do?
34:28
What if is a good thing? Unless you're a lazy thinker,
34:32
unless you're some person who doesn't have any thought
34:35
process, then you won't think about these things, I'm sure.
34:44
Well, let me let you guys in on a little secret before I end my
34:47
video. Some of you may wonder this
34:52
because I don't do it publicly. I don't do this for everybody to
34:57
see or hear, but I don't pray on my live streams.
35:02
I don't pray whenever I'm out in public.
35:05
And the reason why is because the Bible tells me to not be a
35:09
Pharisee or Sadducees. Don't stand out in the street
35:13
looking for the attention of men.
35:17
If you're going to pray, you do it privately.
35:19
This is a relationship, a personal relationship between
35:23
you and God. So if you're going to pray, then
35:26
you do it directly to God. You don't do it so everybody
35:30
around you can hear it. If you're sitting in church,
35:35
even then, you should keep it quiet.
35:40
People shouldn't know what is going on between you and God.
35:43
This is you and God's time, not you and the rest of the people,
35:49
even if they call themselves a community or they call yourself
35:52
themselves, your brothers and sisters.
35:55
And let's be fair, ladies and gentlemen, although the Bible
35:58
tells us that we're a cosmic family and that those who serve
36:02
God are brothers and sisters, not everybody who's sitting
36:05
around you in a church is actually your brother and
36:08
sister. In fact, I think that Satan's
36:11
been hanging out in church for a long ass time and I think that
36:14
some of his minions come in as well.
36:19
I mean, if you want to be an evil son of a bitch and you want
36:22
to destroy and you want to cause wickedness and you don't love
36:27
God, then you're going to go right after the people who do
36:33
internally, right? That would be the way to go.
36:36
If you want to destroy something, then you, you get in
36:39
the core of it, you get into the seed of it.
36:44
You pretend as though you're one of the one of the sheep or part
36:48
of the flock, right? That's the way the devil could
36:53
actually cause the most trouble. It's one thing if you're out in
36:57
public and a stranger does something to you, but it hurts a
37:00
lot more when it's somebody you trust.
37:03
It hurts a hell of a lot more when it's somebody that you
37:06
depend on who has now let you down or fucked you over.
37:10
Am I right? Of course.
37:14
But back to what happens whenever I pray, I pray
37:17
privately. When I was younger, there were a
37:22
couple times where I had prayed for things for myself.
37:27
You know, like God, can you help me Get Me Out of this abusive
37:32
ordeal? Or God, can you stop these
37:35
people from hitting me or hurting me?
37:38
God, can you stop these people from calling me names and stuff
37:42
and treating me like they do? It took a while, but eventually
37:47
I grew up and I was able to get out of the house very early.
37:52
Between 15 and 16 years old. I went out on the street, was on
37:57
the street for a while, and then I started going from friend's
38:01
house to friend's house and all that, and I would eat at school.
38:06
I'd still go to school even though I didn't have a
38:09
residence. Nowadays, if you tried to do
38:13
that, the school's going to be all over your ass.
38:20
So I lived hard and I finally managed to get away from all
38:24
that and I made the choice in my life that I'm going to be a
38:28
better person. I decided if I become a father
38:30
one day, I'll treat my kids totally opposite of what was
38:34
going on. So nowadays, whenever I pray, I
38:38
don't pray for things for myself anymore.
38:43
There's not really much that I want besides having a decent
38:47
computer, which is really the only thing that I desire on a
38:51
materialistic level so I can play my games and do live
38:55
streams and make videos. Usually my prayers are like
39:01
this. I say thank you God.
39:05
I thank Him for the things that I have and I thank Him for the
39:08
people that are in my life, that do love me, that I can depend
39:12
on, that have never tried to intentionally or deliberately
39:15
hurt me. I thank God for my beautiful
39:20
children, my children and my wife, for everything to me and
39:26
my friends, the friends out there, which I'll be honest with
39:31
you, my real life friends. I really am convinced of the
39:36
real deal on the Internet, though.
39:40
This may hurt some people's feelings, especially people
39:43
who've talked to me for a long time, but I don't trust, I would
39:48
say probably 99% of the people who've claimed to be my friends
39:53
on the Internet. There's one thing I've learned
39:56
being on the Internet for 20 years is that people will use
40:01
you for something as weak and stupid and lame as
40:06
subscriptions. They want the number so bad
40:09
under their name that they'll act a fucking fool on video to
40:13
get their views. I can't tell you how many times
40:17
I've had people spread rumors or spread gossip or throw me under
40:23
the fucking bus. So I don't really feel as though
40:27
I have very many actual friends on the Internet.
40:30
I feel like I have people I associate with and I have people
40:34
that I'll talk to and I'll enjoy hanging out with them.
40:39
But I believe that if money was offered or fame or some kind of
40:45
celebrity status to stab me in the back or rip out my heart,
40:49
they do it without hesitation. Maybe it's just me.
40:59
Maybe that's not reality. Maybe that's not the way shit
41:02
would go down. It's just the way I perceive it.
41:08
That's the way I perceive humanity.
41:10
I perceive a lot of people out there as being very, very
41:15
fucking dark and evil and it really doesn't matter to me
41:19
whenever it comes down to it, what they call themselves or
41:22
label themselves. I've had the highest order of
41:26
religious people fuck me over and I've had the highest order
41:30
of atheist fuck me over. So I'm very careful about who I
41:36
put my trust in and what basket I put my eggs.
41:42
So when I pray, ladies and gentlemen, I pray for the
41:48
protection of those I love. I pray that they find blessings
41:54
and I pray that they feel the security that I do as a person.
42:03
I feel that when I pray, they should be between me and God.
42:13
But when it comes to praying for other people, I guess I don't
42:17
feel terrible about sharing that with you.
42:21
It's just I'm a very simple man. I'm a very easy person.
42:26
I pray for others. I don't really pray for myself
42:29
anymore. In fact, I already, I'm not
42:33
going to be one of these type of people who's going to be praying
42:36
to say God saved my life. If I die, then I have already
42:41
accepted that that is a part of nature, that is a part of life.
42:47
I am truly convinced though, that whenever I die, death won't
42:51
be like how many of you perceive it.
42:54
I believe that death is simply a transition into the reality of
43:00
God. I believe in the afterlife.
43:03
I believe that death isn't just simply being buried into the
43:07
ground and being eaten by maggots and worms.
43:10
But there's more, and I know this.
43:14
This isn't just a matter of faith.
43:17
I know there's more to me than just the meat.
43:22
I don't know how some of you look in the mirror and you say
43:25
to yourself, this is all there is.
43:27
This is all I am. Even scientists realize that
43:32
there's more to you than just this physical body.
43:36
But there's energy, there's electricity, there's all kinds
43:40
of shit floating around in you that isn't actually attached and
43:45
will not die along with your body.
43:47
In fact, it is scientifically proven that energy and power
43:53
doesn't die, it simply transforms.
43:58
I will become one with the universe.
44:01
And when the universe dies or is destroyed, dying and death
44:07
simply means a transition over to another transformation of
44:11
life. So when you hear Christians tell
44:15
you when I accepted God, my life was transformed, I found
44:22
salvation, they're basically telling you that they
44:26
acknowledge that they are not just this dead creature, this
44:31
walking meat. They're explaining to you that
44:35
their love and their thoughts and their ideas and their
44:39
memories and their faith in God transcends the meat is where you
44:45
you're still stuck in your dead animal coat.
44:51
All right, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you got something from
44:54
the video and I hope that a majority of you, this makes
44:59
sense. I know for some Christians at
45:01
will, I don't know if it'll be coherent for some of you non
45:07
believers. A lot of you claim to have been
45:10
former Christians. Then I suspect that if you were
45:13
Christian at all or had any attachment or association with
45:18
God or the Holy Spirit, you would understand some of what I
45:22
just told you. If you don't, well then maybe
45:27
you need to question if you ever knew God or actually had God in
45:32
your life at all. Is what it is.