Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #177: Finding the Gift from the Struggle

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Episode #177: Finding the Gift from the Struggle · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

0:02
Hi, Welcome to tea time with the Amy and BEV. Good day,
0:06
Good day, afternoon on a Saturday. It is for us right now.
0:12
That's why I went to the State of our Pants. I know, that's
0:16
what it seems like these days. Huh sorta yeah, so yeah, so
0:22
we had to move our recordings to Sunday. But I have a certification course
0:27
to teach all day and I was like, shoot, so here we are,
0:34
which is so funny because I looked at the calendar. I looked at
0:36
the calendar and thought I never even crossed my mind, never even thought about
0:40
it. Yeah, I didn't even It's all I text you. It's so
0:45
funny. That's an issue, isn't it. I don't know. That's like
0:51
welcome to life. Right. This is kind of how life is, and
0:53
we just kind of have to embrace it and move forward whatever that looks like.
0:58
The thing is, we get caught up sometimes trying to orchestrate and control
1:02
how it's going to happen instead of just going with the flow. I've been
1:04
guilty about in a million times. How's your week been? This whole?
1:07
This last week actually pretty light. I have felt relaxed, been having some
1:17
fun at work. Actually celebrating, you know, some minor advancements and what
1:26
I'm there to do and and a lot of laughter. And it's just I
1:33
feel more relaxed, less pressured, especially when I saw a paycheck go into
1:40
the bank account nice. So it was just it's like relief. And you
1:45
know what we talk about when we want to let you know, of course
1:49
manifest a lot of money because it's for me. It's it's equivalent to like
1:55
freedom. Well, the homeless person has freedom, right, they don't have
2:00
any they don't have any bills, they don't have a car payment, they
2:04
don't have They're just and they roam wherever they want to roam, do what
2:08
they want to do. That's freedom. I mean that could be freedom to
2:12
them. And so it really is when things like this happen, it really
2:25
gives you an opportunity to recognize how are you defining freedom and how are you
2:34
looking at so whatever you want to manifest, whatever you want to bring to
2:37
yourself, really being able to define that for yourself, right. And so
2:45
also I was so balled up and caught up in the task, having to
2:50
get tasks done every day, and just on that pressure. I had a
2:53
lot of pressure but a lot of pressure on myself with everything. And we
3:00
talked about this last week about being able to just kind of release that and
3:09
then regroup, Right, I gotta I gotta regroup. I'm I'm three weeks
3:15
into this new job, and I still don't have quote unquote a routine to
3:23
lay a foundation yet. So I'm stepping into this job in two in two
3:30
of the weeks that are the busiest weeks for them in the year, and
3:36
so it's just a little bit of craziness going on at work. So waiting
3:42
for that to calm down so that the rest of the schedule kind of calms
3:46
down and then I can start laying that foundation. So I'm just I'm still
3:52
in that. I don't know. I just want to say limbo right now.
3:59
It's like it's sounds like release and growth all the same time. And
4:01
it's easy for us to we get so used to putting our nose to the
4:05
grindstone, right, and like for you, like doing all the work that
4:09
you were doing, like look look at me. I'm I'm not saying that
4:12
you were doing this, But for me, when I was at home doing
4:15
things, I overdid it. So when I when I had the opportunity to
4:18
be at home when when Jim was working and he was making a lot of
4:21
money. I had the opportunity to be home with the girls when they were
4:25
in high school, which was awesome because I could get him back and forth
4:28
to school. I was in their business a lot more. We had an
4:31
opportunity to create different relationships. But that being said, I felt like I
4:35
had such pressure on myself to constantly I'm not finding the right word, but
4:42
constantly keep myself busy, look like I'm doing something that I have worth at
4:46
home, you know, like constantly making sure like June, I know you're
4:49
working really hard, but hey, look at I got the house clean,
4:54
dinners done on time, the yards getting taken care of, laundry's death.
4:57
Do you know what I mean? All this stuff and like always constantly trying
5:00
to go above and beyond. I didn't. I never, I never gave
5:03
myself that opportunity to sit and to just do nothing. And it sounds like
5:10
that maybe you might have had similar things, you know, making sure you're
5:14
doing stuff, especially when you're looking for something funds to come in. Right
5:17
when you were saying, I'm talking about this freedom, and I wrote down
5:20
on my pet table. What was defining defining what freedom looks like to you?
5:25
Because when we talk about that, like you said, the homeless man,
5:29
right, and it's defining that freedom, Well, we have freedom all
5:31
the time, and it's the choices. And then it's recognizing, which goes
5:35
along with this whole week. I've been very emotional this week. I've been
5:39
crying, but I've I've had an asking. I'm releasing triggers, I'm releasing
5:44
emotions. I've I've had an asking for these things to come forward. So
5:47
of course these things are going to come forward, and I'm going to have
5:49
an emotional response because it's a release. And that's the thing sometimes people don't
5:54
understand when we ask for these things. There there's it's also defining how do
5:59
I want that release? I didn't define it. So the way that it
6:01
came out Path of Least Resistance was crying for me, a lot of crying,
6:06
a lot of emotional but seeing stuff all the way down the childhood,
6:11
just so many so much recognition of how I've been showing up and how much
6:15
pressure I put on myself to perform. That was a word I was looking
6:18
for, Like I feel like I had to perform because I had to show
6:21
my worth and we don't have to show our worth. If I felt worthy
6:26
for myself, that's all that would have mattered. It didn't matter what someone
6:29
else's perspective was or their perception, because someone that puts their nose the grindstone
6:33
or things that they have to work hard to earn or to for whatever,
6:38
you have to work hard in life. If you believe that, you put
6:40
yourself in that space and that there's nothing wrong with that, because it's a
6:44
choice. I say it's a choice, and a lot of people don't realize
6:46
it's it's probably a choice, but it is a choice because I feel like
6:49
things are easier now my one hundred percent good at that. No, because
6:54
even my setting still doesn't set still. It hasn't you know, it hasn't
6:58
one hundred percent done that, but it has improved over time for sure.
7:01
So I was like hearing you say, oh that, and it's like,
7:02
to me, it's like releasing some of the things, and it's releasing some
7:06
of the students honestly because it's time for those students. And I don't know,
7:13
but it's like even for me for massage, if I was thinking about
7:15
being the therapist or I'm helping people want to come in and we're having conversations.
7:20
I've got to allow them, not allow them, I've got to release
7:25
them, because if I hold them, hold on to them to keep them
7:27
in this space, not like a prisoner or anything like that, but if
7:30
I want to keep them coming to see me all the time for massage and
7:33
to rely only on me, then I'm then I'm kind of not allowing their
7:39
full growth. And if I'm always here, we as individuals have a tendency
7:44
to want to stay in the place where it's comfortable. So instead of going
7:47
out realizing that maybe there's nothing more to learn from this teacher, but this
7:50
teacher's right in front of me, and then by holding onto that, which
7:54
we've been talking about, is letting go of what's in front of you and
7:57
then being excited to see what's going to show up next. Because if you
8:01
had if you had looked at this six weeks ago and saw I thought you'd
8:05
be here, you'd be like, oh, hey, I'll know, like
8:07
this isn't gonna happen. No, it doesn't make any sense, but it's
8:09
But when you did that, it's like so many things happened, you let
8:13
go of controlling things, you let go. I'm not saying you have let
8:16
go of clients, because I don't think that that's the truth, but it
8:18
gives it's It gives those clients an opportunity to define to them what's important to
8:24
them. Do they want to show up? Do they want to do these
8:28
things? So that now they have an opportunity because now your time is a
8:31
little bit less that you can have outside of work for that kind of stuff.
8:35
So now people have have to make a commitment they or they don't,
8:41
right, It's that's totally up to them. But I feel like it presents
8:43
so many opportunities. It's like you walked through one door, like not even
8:50
not the door it can close behind you because it's still open, but you
8:52
walked through that one door, and it's like, all of a sudden,
8:54
there's like fifteen doors that are open all in front of you and you can
8:56
go any direction you want to, and the one behind you never close.
9:00
So it's like the possibilities they're endless. But it's like, would you wanted
9:03
to move forward carrying all the stuff that you were carrying with you at that
9:07
time that you know, all that stuff on your back. You wouldn't.
9:11
I don't now that where you're at right now, feeling that piece, I
9:15
don't think that you'd want to still feel that same way that you were before.
9:18
So we lose sight of some things because we're working so hard all the
9:20
time and that and that's the only thing that got lost sight, right,
9:24
that's the doing, because we think we got to constantly be doing, and
9:28
that's how I get confusing. Well I got to go meditate. Well that's
9:31
doing right. Just be That's what I'm I'm learning right now to just be
9:37
be with myself experience whatever I'm experienced experiencing in this moment. Yeah, for
9:43
fair and and the weight like that weight has just been lifted off of me,
9:52
and I feel it. It's palpable, really, it really is.
9:56
I can feel it. It's it's a it's like I don't know, it's
10:01
like having like I can't even think of a good analogy right now, but
10:05
it's like, all of a sudden, all this freedom just opened up and
10:07
it's such a great flow. It's awesome. Yeah, And you know,
10:11
I'm it's awesome where you're out right now. Thanks. I was so I
10:22
was focused on the having to keep classes going because I need the income.
10:30
Yeah, and but not having this space and create in space to be creative
10:35
for what I really want to be doing, which is putting together like coaching
10:43
program, you know, like six months coaching program and committing to that.
10:50
Is doing all the little classes, the individual stuff so I can keep but
10:56
and then so and that takes a lot of time and energy. And so
10:58
it was just my my schedule was just filled with a lot of stuff.
11:03
And like you were saying earlier, you know, I work. I sat
11:09
here working from morning until afternoon, late afternoon, four or five o'clock,
11:15
then go do dinner at cook dinner and do the night stuff and get my
11:20
schedule ready for the next day and get up and do it all over again.
11:22
It was like I was living in this this cycle, daily cycle.
11:26
I'm not getting anywhere. And now that like I'm releasing a lot of that
11:37
clearing excuse me, a lot of that's that's stuff, like the stuff like
11:46
just clearing my schedules, clearing the to do list. Just it's like making
11:50
room, right, I'm I'm making room four. What's next? And you
11:58
yeah, and so you know, our energy affects everything. Energy affects business,
12:05
it affects personal life at all intermingles. And I was so so into
12:09
the business and focused on it, trying to make them, like trying to
12:15
make the money to pay the bills, contribute to it. But you know,
12:18
it's just like I had that grasp and I as much as I wanted
12:24
to not be in that space, I was in that space. And sometimes,
12:28
you know, we got to remove ourselves from that space to recognize we're
12:31
in that space, right, so you can feel the difference. And that's
12:33
where I'm at. It's like feeling that difference, and and every time it
12:39
gives us an opportunity to get even more clear about what we want, how
12:43
we want to feel like I feel so much more relaxed. And and even
12:48
though I'm going to a full time job now, it's okay because because we've
12:54
been having fun, we've been laughing, we've been you know, creating and
12:58
and and so what I really am recognizing and it was a difference in how
13:05
I'm feeling. So and at first I have to say, like, at
13:15
first, I was going to work, working eight hours, get home cooked
13:20
dinner, to do what I need to do at night, and then get
13:24
up, go to work, get home, cooked dinner, do what I
13:28
right. And it's at first I was a little peeved that I was doing
13:35
that, Like I had to go to work all day. Now I gotta
13:37
come home. Now I gotta cook dinner, and then I gotta do all
13:39
the stuff, and I gotta do it again tomorrow. And the counterpart in
13:46
the household not contributing to the evening stuff. And I had to recognize,
13:52
like I was doing that before, why is it bothering me so much?
13:58
Now I gotta eat, so I'm gonna cook dinner right. So it's like
14:05
that whole mindset shift. It's funny how we get into old programming. Things
14:11
show up and you just gotta it's sometimes it takes you back, sometimes you're
14:16
in it. Sometimes you recognize it right away. But the idea is that
14:20
I'm moving through these these different scenarios, and then for me, I'm grateful
14:26
that I can recognize it fairly quickly and be able to shift it. Sometimes
14:33
I do really good. Sometimes I don't do so good. Just how I
14:37
am and how I'm operating, But I'm getting better. And every time I
14:41
know I'm getting better, you're working on it. That's the whole thing.
14:48
It's always continuous, always. It's just like being in a space of love.
14:52
I don't just walk out the door and be in a space of love
14:54
all day long because it's not from that space. It's not for me,
14:58
it's not possible. Yet I'm in that space more frequently. I have an
15:03
awareness of that space. I have an awareness. I started asking, like,
15:07
I want to feel it. What does undiluted love feel like? Like,
15:11
what does it feel like? What does that feel like? Just to
15:13
see when I moved through the day for me to have nothing but encounters with
15:16
someone's soul. I have clients that come in here and when they're in here,
15:20
it's like, oh my god, you're the most amazing person. And
15:22
I'm not saying they're not amazing still, but then I'll start seeing you know,
15:26
maybe a post on Facebook or a post on TikTok, or a post
15:30
on somewhere else, and they're like, oh, Gangsta and everything else.
15:31
I'm like, that's like a totally different person then comes into my office.
15:35
But I want to see their soul when they come to my office. So
15:39
if I see their soul, I'm not looking at them from a three D
15:43
perspective. I'm seeing them from their for their soul and it's so beautiful,
15:46
like it makes your eyes water. My first client today, so she's so
15:50
amazing. I've only seen her as a second time i've seen her. She
15:52
opens up the door. I was in here getting ready to show us up
15:54
now and she's like, good morning. She's like, just come. She
15:56
was just so happy, she says, you don't even know. I've been
16:00
for this appointments this whole I've been waiting for this appointments. I'm so excited,
16:03
so amazing. But to be in that space, and how can you
16:07
have those encounters. It's to be in the space that we're in. It's
16:11
to listen to where we're growing from. Because we could have looked at we
16:17
could have stood in the victim mindset right and looked at this whole thing and
16:19
been like, it's horrible. We're not gonna be able to do tea time
16:23
anymore, We're not gonna be able to have conversations. We're you know,
16:26
let's look like we could look at it so limiting and so miserable, going
16:30
to work all day long, and it's like, well, there's other ways
16:33
to look at that too, that it could be like, Okay, so
16:36
this is an opportunity for me to have a communication with my counterparts or the
16:38
counterpart in the home, to say, hey, I could do some help.
16:42
You know, you want to come in and help me do this?
16:44
Okay, Hey, can you stirt that while I'm doing this? Can we
16:45
work together and do this? It just opens up the door for the communication
16:48
because we don't have to do it all by ourselves. But we were taught
16:52
to be so independent and that we should be able to do all this stuff
16:55
and we shouldn't have to ask for help, and that's not And I I
17:00
even caught myself yesterday doing it. Freeman said something, they take care of
17:04
the go from the air the cat house and it's like six thirty. It
17:07
should have been turned off already, and I said, I haven't, I
17:11
said, because I want. I know he's not feeling well. So I
17:12
wanted to get dinner done. And I already or was going through a list
17:15
of things to do even though I was out running around. You know,
17:18
I did my work yesterday and I went to the gym and or no,
17:22
I don't know what I did yesterday, but anyways, I know I worked,
17:25
did a few other things, and I'm like wait a minute. Yesterday
17:27
was Friday. I did not do I did not go to a gym.
17:30
You liar, hey, but I caught myself but like thinking about that whole
17:33
process. And then I got home and then he's like, what are you
17:36
I do? And I'm like, well, I gotta finish doing the dishes
17:37
first. I just finished making dinner, so I gotta do the dishes.
17:41
And then I got laundry this in a dryer that I got to fold,
17:45
and then I'm going to go over and take care of the cats. And
17:47
then instead of me asking for help, right hey, could you help me
17:52
out, I didn't say anything else. He went and grabbed the stuff.
17:55
And that's great, but that kind of doesn't disservice for myself, which I'm
17:59
not saying he don't, please, Duke, continue to help. If you're
18:02
watching, continue to help. But but on the other side of that,
18:06
it's it was me recognizing I've got to use my words. I've got to
18:10
have I have a voice here. Why am I not using it? Because
18:12
we're so worried about asking somebody and they say no, So what what if
18:15
they said no, I'm sorry, I can't help you right now? Okay?
18:18
Hey at least you asked. Okay, Angels, I need some help.
18:22
Like right, I've told I told the story a long time ago being
18:26
at my stepdad's house after whatever we had cut down. Jim and I had
18:32
gone over because we thought we were going to clear out these two trees.
18:33
No problem, right, they're tall, no big deal, they're like resting
18:37
on the roof of the house, for God's sakes. But it's not going
18:38
to be a small you know, it's easy, this is fast. We
18:41
figured we'd go over and get it done. And it was cold outside.
18:44
It was a sunny day, so it was nice so that it hadn't gotten
18:47
dark or anything like that. So we were bundled up. But being out
18:49
there and it's like we got it was daunting because at that point it's like
18:52
there's a lot more than we thought it was and we're still going and I'm
18:56
like, oh, God, Angels, please send someone to help. I
19:00
didn't clarify. Now, if I would have specified, it might even been
19:03
different. But help did come because a person showed up and said, Hey,
19:07
I make ladders out of wood from trees and stuff. Can I take
19:10
these branches? Well, oh, of course you can take them off.
19:12
You can whatever you want, bring your friends, I don't care, you
19:15
know what I mean. But then he was helping us pull stuff, so
19:18
then help move it along a lot better. We have to ask for help,
19:22
and we get so caught up in thinking we don't we have to do
19:25
with on our own, for living by ourselves, They're going to do it
19:27
by yourself. Not really, because you can still ask for help and it's
19:30
going to show up. Maybe someone comes. Maybe you get a phone call
19:34
from your mom and said, hey, guess what I'm in town. I'm
19:36
bringing over the KFC or whatever. You know what I mean. So it's
19:40
just there's there's always an opportunity, and it's an opportunity for someone else to
19:45
be able to stand up and help, to give them an opportunity to help.
19:48
Otherwise it's like it's not a cohesive, right. It's just like sometimes
19:52
for Jim and I felt like we were roommates. I mean a lot of
19:55
times if we weren't having conversations or you know, I would get pissed off
19:59
and I'd shut down and not talk at all, and he would go drink.
20:00
So that's how he deal with me, and that's how I him.
20:04
We didn't deal with anything. We didn't deal with anything at all. We
20:07
didn't communicate. So it's like it's there's all the stuff, gosh, everything
20:11
if you think about you've gone through, it's been like a communication, because
20:15
even even the stuff that wasn't going the way that you wanted to go was
20:18
a communication. Right, even when we ask God for an answer and we
20:21
get no answer, it's still an answer. That's an answer God, what's
20:25
wrong with me? Crickets, I hear nothing because God doesn't think there's anything
20:27
wrong with me. Right, that's my own self judgment. It has nothing
20:30
to do with anything else. It's not even a true story. It's a
20:34
story. So it's awesome, and that's what that's one of the things that's
20:40
that's happening is getting clear on communication with manifesting. Like I find manifesting so
20:48
interesting and fascinating and how absolutely clear we have to be. It is amazing
20:59
because this letter, right, it's so literal, yeah and so, and
21:03
each experience is an opportunity to get even more clear. Doesn't mean it's not
21:08
working out right, doesn't mean that you fail, doesn't mean things are going
21:14
sideways. It means, Okay, this is what you've been thinking about this
21:18
is what you wanted, and this is how it's showing up. And then
21:22
you got to decide is it showing up the way you thought it was?
21:26
And in my head no, the answers no. But you know what,
21:30
everything that I've been asking for is happening in a way of least resistance to
21:37
me. And so again, you know, coming back to being a one
21:45
year and laying the foundation. Now it's up to me to start laying that
21:49
foundation, and you know, you gotta have your footing right. I don't
21:53
feel like I have my footing yet, so it's probably going to be another
21:57
week or two maybe through I don't know, but feeling like I have my
22:03
feet are planted and I'm feeling more grounded and where I'm at what I'm doing,
22:11
and then we start laying that the foundation out. So I don't know
22:17
how long that's going to be. And that's okay. I gotta learn to
22:21
be more clear on my communication with the universe. I think that's that's kind
22:26
of like all of us, because what I was saying is it's literal.
22:30
It's just like a kid. If you think about it, it's just like
22:32
a little child. If you're telling a child an instance, if someone told
22:37
my uncle when he was little, go playing on the freeway, he was
22:41
brought back from the police officers because he was on a tricycle on the freeway.
22:44
Do you know what I mean? So literal we have when we were
22:47
when we're putting stuff out there, it's literal. It's really to be aware
22:51
of what we're saying. And the thing that pops in my head is like,
22:53
oh, be careful what you wish for. It's not like that.
22:56
It's not be careful, but be aware of what you're wishing for. Be
23:00
aware of what you're really asking for. Be that child. That's literal.
23:03
And if someone says stop, you're just going to stop. Like it's whatever
23:07
those words are that you're using right now. And just like you said a
23:11
little while ago, a freedom where everybody's free, a person in prison can
23:15
be free. It's are you free in your mind? Are you free in
23:18
your soul? Or are you a prisoner? There's people that are free that
23:21
are living in their homes as prisoners. They're living in their body as a
23:25
prisoner as if it's a prison. And it's not like that. It doesn't
23:29
have to be like that. I'm not saying that it's not someone's not experiencing
23:33
that right now. They could very well be experiencing that, But it doesn't
23:37
have to be that way. We have opportunities for all kinds of different choices,
23:41
And just like for yours, I hear people all the time arguing for
23:45
and that that's not even the right words, because you have not argued for
23:48
your limitations. I don't even know I was gonna go with that, but
23:51
I've I've had a few clients recently coming in and arguing for their limitations.
23:56
And then one of them I had seen probably a year ago, and then
24:00
started to bring forward a story of her experience that she had already told me
24:04
about, which also told me that that she's still living in that chapter of
24:08
her life, right But it's it's just that's a choice, and there's nothing
24:12
wrong with that. If that person wants to live in that choice, whether
24:15
it's a good space to be in or not a good space to be in,
24:18
that's their choice one hundred percent. So if she wants to or he
24:22
was to be in there in their own particular prison that they've created, then
24:26
you can stay in it if you want to talk about your partner. But
24:29
it's no longer there all the times, as if this whole new situation just
24:34
happened overnight, but it had happened, you know, had been happening for
24:37
a long time. And then she says to me, because I interrupted her,
24:41
I do do that. You know, anybody knows me, They do
24:45
know that I do that. But when it gets to a point, it's
24:47
like, we've already read that chapter Why why are you going to keep reading
24:51
that same chapter again? Want're going to start writing your own book, you
24:55
know what I mean? Said not still stay in that space and watching our
24:57
words like this one person and was saying, oh, well, he left
25:03
and then he brought this third dog into the house and it's a lot,
25:04
it's a lot, and it's overwhelming. And then I'm talking to her.
25:08
I said, well, you know, there's always people out there. You
25:11
can set it out into the universe, find the perfect homent. Oh but
25:14
I love these dogs. Oh well that's great. I'm glad you said that,
25:18
because here's a deal. Here's one way you could practice because what you
25:21
just said and the feeling of it was heavy, and that this was burdensome,
25:26
so the animals would feel that it was heavy and burdensome. Right,
25:29
they're not going to fill in the space they need to be in, and
25:32
she's not going to either. But you just told me that you loved them.
25:34
Do you absolutely love them? I said, that's a better conversation.
25:37
Don't you think I've got three amazing dogs. If it wasn't for my past
25:41
partner, I wouldn't even have these dogs right now, and they're my lifeline
25:45
right now. They're helping me through this. So it's just again, we're
25:48
going back to words, really thinking about what we're saying, because it's easy
25:52
to get into that space. It's easy to go tell everybody the story,
25:56
and then it's like we've talked about which you can probably go back several recordings.
25:59
We get tired of the same story. We get tired of repeating that
26:00
story. We don't even want to talk about it anymore. It's not even
26:03
worth having a conversation about because it's like it's like opening up a can of
26:07
something that smells really bad and you don't want it. It's like, I'll
26:10
throw it in the trash. I don't need it. We don't need to,
26:12
we don't need to taste it just to make sure it's not bad.
26:15
It smells bad, Let's just throw it away, you know what I mean.
26:18
It's like you have you have like out of a library of books over
26:22
here to my left, the library books. I always have a library books
26:26
in the closet, and it's like having all these amazing books to choose from,
26:32
and I go and pick the same story I've been telling over and over
26:34
and over, like, oh, I'm gonna read this again, and I
26:40
keep doing that every single day. Why when you have all this other amazing
26:45
information to play off of, And so it's like we forget that. We
26:52
can turn the page and start writing our new story. And that new story
26:56
is what you're waking with the universe. And more clear we are, the
27:00
more amazing it gets. And that's all. It's not. We're not being
27:04
punished. We're just like, Okay, do you want to stay in that
27:07
same place? Okay, you can stay in that same place. You can
27:10
play that record over and over and again, and whoever listens to had ever
27:12
listen to records? Because I have? And then where it gets to the
27:15
end and it just skips and skips, and you know, it just doesn't
27:18
do anything, and it's like you can continue being on that space that's your
27:22
choice, or are we going to slip the page or I can turn the
27:25
record over, or I can there's a whole bunch of orders. There's so
27:26
many different things you can possibly do. It's it's it's so. I also
27:32
know I've been in that mind space to being limited too. So and do
27:34
I bounce there? Yeah? I do, But I'll bance my butt right
27:37
on out of there too. I don't need to stay in that space anymore
27:41
to continue learning, because as soon as I recognize them in that space,
27:45
I'm like, oh gosh, what could I think differently right now? Yeah?
27:48
Of course after Like I said, this week was a was a crying
27:52
week, and but it was awesome for me. That's awesome because I'm not
27:56
usually crying all the time, but I'm an emotional emotional emotional. We talk
28:02
about trying to control things, we talk about change. We can't control things.
28:06
Change is inevitable. But I have gone through, like we're we've had
28:11
patterns in life. So I get past all this stuff and here comes the
28:14
victim. Right, here comes to the victim, because this victim doesn't want
28:17
to be heard again with another person that passes. And it's like the people
28:21
that pass now are super close to me, you know what I mean.
28:22
I'm not saying that my brother and my mom and my husband weren't. They
28:26
were. But it's like, I've got my kids and my grandkids, so
28:32
I mean, I've got lots of friends and stuff too, but it's like
28:33
that right there would be devastating to me. And I realize without even realizing
28:38
it, that I was holding onto this listening to my sisters speak talking about
28:45
I said, well, you miss Mom and she says, I do.
28:48
I do. And I said, to me, that connection, I said,
28:51
I don't feel the same way about Mom like that, missing her like
28:52
that, because for me, it's like it's a connection. It's a connection.
28:56
And I said, if you're missing her, then you're not realizing the
29:00
action. And I said, and it's just learning a new language to get
29:02
that connection. So going through that process, it's just it's it's just interesting
29:07
as we're just moving through all this stuff, how much stuff there is.
29:11
So she's talking about this, she brings up a dream and she says,
29:14
yeah, in the dream, I know, there's a man knocking at the
29:15
door and I opened up the door and I and then there's Mom. And
29:19
she's like come with me, and Shannon's like okay, And I was like
29:25
thinking, oh God, what if something happens to my sister? Like so
29:29
because in my mind, because I saw signs before with Jim, I saw
29:34
I mean, after it was all said and done, I could look back
29:37
and see all the signs and I'm like, oh, so then he started
29:40
getting devastated. Right, so I'm crying about something that hasn't even happened.
29:44
I'm grieving. I'm grieving over something that hasn't even happened, right, I
29:48
have and if it does happen, I have no control over it. And
29:52
that doesn't just stop at my sisters, my grandkids and my daughter. It's
29:56
gonna have another baby, like all these things, and it's like all these
30:00
what ifs. And I've always had all these concerns and worries and all you
30:03
pay attention to every single detail, which is great, but for me,
30:11
it brought an awareness forward. And it's and I'm constantly I'm constantly like leaning
30:17
over. I'll hold vi They's hand or I'll put my hand on her leg,
30:21
in her arm, and I'm like, you know, I really love
30:23
you, don't you like I love you? And She's like I love you
30:26
more than I love you more. I'm like, I don't think so,
30:30
I don't think that's possible. I just like it. With all that,
30:33
With all that being said, it just makes me recognize how much there is
30:37
around me to appreciate. So it took me from a place of grieving something
30:44
that you know, anticipatory grief that I of something that I don't even know
30:48
is going to happen. And we're all not gonna get out of here alive.
30:49
It's just the way it is, guys. I don't know if anyone
30:52
you know, it's like a news flash maybe design, but we ain't getting
30:56
out alive. We will, We're just gonna drop our skins on the wherever.
31:02
But it's like that whole process allowed me to go from being a victim
31:07
worried about losing what's what I hold so valuable to me, and then realizing
31:12
how much I can because of that space, It's helped me to appreciate all
31:15
the moments when I am with them and when I'm not with them, which
31:22
is what is life is teaching us, Yes, well we can have gratitude
31:29
quote unquote, death is teaching us. We know there's not but using that
31:33
term that the person is no longer in the physical form, that death is
31:37
teaching us gratitude. Death is teaching us to appreciate those moments that we do
31:41
have with each other. So there's value in everything. There's value to just
31:48
be, there's value in doing, there's value in your manifesting process. There's
31:53
value in death. It's at all. It's it's how are you perceiving it?
32:00
And that's where you know, that's our biggest hang up is how we're
32:04
perceiving it. Death is perceived as loss and losses that that nope, that
32:08
person is no longer here, and a lot of grief is grieving what could
32:14
have been. So we got to change the mindset. Yeah, okay,
32:22
well we didn't. We weren't close. So I'm going to work on the
32:27
relationships that I do have to be close to the people that mean a lot
32:31
to me. I didn't say I was sorry for whatever the scenario was.
32:38
Okay, well, I'm going to be sure to have better communication and be
32:44
more heartfelt with those people that are here in the physical form with me.
32:47
Still, well, I didn't say I love you. Okay, Well,
32:52
now I'm going to practice saying I love you more often to the people who
32:55
are still here, right, so so death to teach so much, but
33:02
but people just get hung up on the loss. It's true, and like,
33:08
and we don't know how how long we're going to be here, and
33:13
we don't know how going to exit, right, We're we're each exiting in
33:19
our own way, whatever our spirit lined up for us before we came here.
33:24
And and you know, as hard as it is here to hear this,
33:35
the way we exit, there is lessons, There is reasons in how
33:40
each of us exit. It's true. And just I was listen listening to
33:46
James van von Prague this morning being interviewed by Alex and that to this morning,
33:53
I was watching it and it's like he touched on suicide again, right,
33:57
And I feel the same way about suicide. And I was talking to
34:01
one of my clients today. It's almost like as if the world, the
34:06
planet has made suicide, Like you're going to go to hell for doing that.
34:09
And I'm not encouraging people to commit suicide. Don't get me wrong,
34:14
but I don't think that you're telling them that they're miserable and there's there they
34:21
can't go on, and that's why they do these things that they do,
34:23
but you expect them to stay here and be in that same space and not
34:27
be happy because sometimes they can't get out of the space they're in that moment.
34:30
I'm not saying it's not possible. But on the other side of that,
34:34
I know that there's so much to learn from someone committing suicide. It's
34:37
such an opportunity for a village to be able to step forward. It gives
34:43
the opportunity for those that are that have have maybe they haven't been strong and
34:46
now they get to be strong, right Or maybe it's given the opportunity for
34:51
someone else to grieve and then someone else to be strong around for that grieving.
34:54
It's someone else to step forward and help out kids or give guidance and
35:00
learn about this and how can you you know, how can you serve the
35:04
people around you even more? To me, there's it's such a gift.
35:08
I'm not saying that suicide is the gift, but I'm just saying there's such
35:12
a gift from us being here, and there's something to be learned from every
35:15
single person passing, no matter if it was from suicide, natural causes,
35:21
murdered, however it happened, and it's not so much to get caught up
35:23
on the departure the way that we depart, it's just because then you lose
35:28
sight of the soul that you've spent so much time with. You lose sight
35:31
of that energy. So it's kind of focusing in on the energies and the
35:37
souls that have been here and what do they bring forward. I can sit
35:40
and say, you know, my brother was addicted to drugs. He was
35:45
addicted to distraction. He was he couldn't handle am anything else. Drugs understood
35:51
him. He understood drugs. He knew where he stood with it. Abusive
35:52
relationship, not abusive relationship. Who knows who cares, But he learned.
35:58
He came here and explored what it was to do drugs. Some people maybe
36:01
come here to explore what it feels like to have committed suicide or whatever.
36:06
I don't think it's so black and white like they've taught us to be.
36:09
And I don't think anyone's meant to be in a prison. But it's also
36:14
we're in a time space reality now that we're showing so many other possibilities.
36:17
If you're hurting that bad, let's talk like, if you're hurting that bad
36:22
bad, let's do this and also knowing that we can't it's not us to
36:27
go up to us to go fix everybody, but we can plant seeds.
36:30
And even if they don't use it in this lifetime, it doesn't mean they're
36:32
not going to be using some of that information the next time they come in
36:37
or however they however you want to look at it, Well, that has
36:40
a lot to do with hopelessness. You get into such a deep state of
36:45
depression, you have no hope and and like me with the with the I'm
36:52
gonna say blinders, but just having that tunnel vision with my business. I
36:58
am right here, right now, this is what I'm focused on, head
37:02
down, constant, minute after minute after minute, like hours and hours and
37:07
days. And it's the same with hopelessness. You get into that space that
37:13
the energy of that, and and you can't see anything out of It's like
37:19
you got glasses on and there's mud smeared on the lenses and you just can't
37:24
see anything past that. And and so being a light worker having the ability
37:36
to plant the seats and to shine the light. And also you know,
37:43
talking about James Van Prague and what he was saying that everybody has a life
37:47
review and you feel, like intensely feel from the other person's perspective your words
37:59
being received or your actions being received on that person, and as the other
38:05
person, you intensely feel their emotions in reaction to whatever you said or did.
38:12
And so you've been speaking about suicide, like to have a life review
38:17
from that perspective, that's gonna be pretty intense because it's gonna be lots and
38:24
lots of people affected by that typically, and to go through that from spirit
38:30
perspective in a life review like that, that's an intense lesson. So that's
38:37
like, that's huge. You know. I'm like, oh, I gotta
38:43
learn to love myself. I need to learn self love. And here's somebody's
38:45
doing suicide. Can you imagine like the comparison I would say suicide is like
38:54
up there with getting that you like doctorate, like you it's just so and
39:04
I'm making it lighthearted, and I know it's you know, anybody going through
39:07
something who has been affected by suicide, it's not that it's that it's something
39:15
to laugh about or joke about. However, from a soul's perspective, we
39:22
don't know the story, we don't know the details. We only know from
39:28
our human experience and how we're programming about how people exit, how people transition,
39:37
and how it's supposed to quote unquote supposed to be viewed, and how
39:40
we're supposed to quote unquote react to it. Yeah, and I like to
39:49
bring it up just because I don't a lot of people condemn people that have
39:52
committed suicide, and it's another or not to be condemned, because that's still
39:55
putting an energy out there. You're still putting energy to a person that doesn't
39:59
feel good, you know what I mean. So it's it's really knowing,
40:04
it's just being that supportive. It's just saying prayers for that person, however
40:07
their experience was when they left here, or it's it's not getting wrapped up
40:13
in all the stuff that they've been going through, for sure, because that
40:15
can take you down on another path they don't want to really go to,
40:17
because we can really dip ourselves into energies that don't feel good. But it's
40:22
it's just being aware that. And then a lot of people think that when
40:25
they do that, they're just ought they go to hell, and then they
40:28
worry about that the whole time while they're here in this experience. So it's
40:30
like not to be in that space. It's to realize that they're they're they're
40:35
on the other side. I mean, I've heard I've listened to so many
40:37
different mediums. They've talked about how spirit is and and once they go on
40:42
the other side, maybe they've gone through a place where they go to that
40:45
they go through some healing for all the traumas or whatever they had experience in
40:49
life because they couldn't deal with while they were here. But then after that
40:52
they're helping assist people that kill themselves, or maybe they're being a guide that's
40:58
it's talking to someone so they're not killing themselves, so they're staying here for
41:02
the journey, or saying, hey, just pick up the phone and call
41:06
Amy. Just pick up the phone and call bad the l answer, They're
41:08
gonna listen to you. You're going to have a conversation, right, So
41:12
it could I mean, it could be anybody. But I'm just saying,
41:15
there's just so many ways to look at it, and and for me,
41:17
I'm always going to look at it from a place that feels good. And
41:21
the other stories that we've heard for so many years about gosh, my whole
41:24
life, it's been that way until the last probably five years that I've gotten
41:29
gained a different perspective on suicide because it is different. And how would it
41:35
feel to tell any of those parents from that have lost their kids from suicide,
41:40
to tell them, you know that, oh, well, they they're
41:43
gonna they're going to hell if I feel sorry for their soul or you know
41:47
whatever, And it's like, that doesn't feel good. That doesn't feel good.
41:51
If it doesn't feel good, it's not something that needs to be repeated.
41:54
Yeah, and then the parent takes on the responsibility of I didn't raise
41:59
my child to get to get them to go to heaven. So now a
42:02
parent as little with that guilt of yeah, I raised my child and it
42:08
and they went to hell and that's my fault. Could you imagine, Like
42:13
I just can't wrap my head around that type of thinking. Yeah, which
42:19
is good, but I mean, but there is so there's so many out
42:22
there that do think that way, right, So it's it's just it's just
42:24
putting it out there. So people have a different perspective on things. Another
42:29
take what resonates with you, right, If it doesn't resonate with you,
42:31
don't take it doesn't matter. There's a lot of things that I don't take.
42:35
I don't it just doesn't resonate with me. And that's okay, because
42:37
if it doesn't vibrate with me, if I don't feel it, if it
42:39
doesn't feel good to me, it just doesn't interest me at all. Well,
42:45
my whole thought, though, is like, okay, because I think
42:49
about this stuff too. So we're born into this life to have an experience,
42:55
and I'm just gonna use self love as as the top big because that's
43:00
what I know. And so went through abandonment, went through abuse. All
43:05
that contributes to not teaching me self love. That's teaching me to love without
43:08
outside of myself in ways that are unhealthy, and then being molested and still
43:19
struggling with that through my twenties through my thirties, thinking about suicide from the
43:23
age of fourteen into my mid thirties on a daily basis and thinking, okay,
43:35
if I don't, if I don't learn, if I my spirit came
43:38
here to learn self love, and I take my life and I decide to
43:45
check out because I can't handle this life. I don't like the way it
43:49
is, I don't like people. I don't like what people do to people.
43:52
So I'm checking out because I just can't handle it. The idea that
43:57
I have to come back into the next lifetime and work on self love because
44:01
I couldn't do it this lifetime. Am I, Oh, hail to the
44:07
No, I'm gonna figure this out. No, because we're not. We're
44:12
not here for a punishment though either, And I don't think that that sounds
44:15
like a punishment. Well, you didn't finish it the last time, so
44:17
here you go. If you didn't need all your peas, you don't get
44:20
any dessert in past third grade, So we're holding your back and you gotta
44:24
do it again. I'm like, no, no, instead of instead of
44:29
holding this out Now, I may not be good at I may not have
44:34
excelled in that topic, but I definitely have an understanding of it. I
44:39
know how to do it. And now it's the human and the spirit contradiction
44:46
of the whole package, right, this whole container. Because of life experiences
44:52
and learning to be in that space of self love more frequently, which I
44:57
do, But there are moments because of the subconscious mind and it's programming and
45:02
all the stuff in there, that I still dip into the heaviness and so
45:07
but I you know what, I bring myself out quicker. It's not months
45:12
and years, it's minutes hours, right, So yeah, no, I
45:17
don't like that idea. I don't like that idea of coming having to start
45:22
all over from your utero to go through that again to learn self love.
45:28
I'm like, yeah, no, I'm staying here and I'm gonna figure this
45:30
shit out because this pissing, because I actually got pissed. I'm like,
45:34
this pissing me off, and I'm gonna figure this out. Why Because I
45:37
have that stubborn bonut like, I've that independent and stubbornness that is ingrained in
45:45
me from childhood. That's what kept me going and that I know, I'm
45:52
going to figure this out. There's more to life than what I'm have been
45:55
taught, and I'm going to figure it out. I'm gonna get the answers,
45:59
and I think I've answers that resonate with me. So I'm still here
46:04
and you be here. So however I decide to exit, which will not
46:07
be by my own hand, and that's my choice. I hear what you're
46:13
saying. I hear what you're saying, but it's like a lot of the
46:16
kind of just reminds me of a lot of the stuff, still staying you're
46:19
going to go to hell. Well, if you do something bad this lifetime,
46:22
or you do this, you're gonna have to come back and repeat all
46:23
that stuff. And it's like it's they make it sound like it's daunting in
46:28
a hard task and that it's a punishment, and it's not a punishment.
46:30
We don't come We don't come here for a punishment. We don't come here.
46:34
We come here to grow. We come come here. From my perspective,
46:37
we come here to experience. We're God's like this huge body and we're
46:44
all the cells inside of this body, and we're experiencing life for us for
46:51
God, and God's experiencing through us through everything. So it's like to me,
46:54
there is no right or wrong right it shouldn't. I'm not saying that
46:59
you were saying it like that. I'm just saying that, that's how I've
47:00
heard it so many times. Oh Karma, and you're gonna have to come
47:04
back and do this again, and we don't have to do anything. There
47:07
is no have to. And that's I've been hearing more and more channelers and
47:13
I couldn't say mediums for sure, but I would say channelers that are channeling
47:17
energies through that, it's like, it's not Some of the stuff we've been
47:21
being told is almost like along the lines of you're gonna go to hell or
47:24
you're gonna go to heaven. And it's like, well, you're you're in
47:27
hell or heaven in whatever experience you're here. We can experience heaven here,
47:31
or we can experience hell here. It's our own personal choice, it's our
47:37
it's our perception. Yeah. I never believed that we were going to hell.
47:40
I never believed that when you die you go to hell. Like that
47:45
never resonated with me. Hey, there's no What does resonate with me is
47:51
we create our heaven or hell right now. And here's here's something else.
47:57
I was just talking to someone this morning and we were talking about She said,
48:00
well, what if there is what if there is only one hundred and
48:02
forty four thousand, you know, like the Bible would say there's like one
48:06
hundred forty four thousand. I'm one hundred and forty four thousand. I said,
48:08
that's nine. Those are endings for new beginnings. That's the way my
48:12
my perspective is on it. And I said, how could, I said,
48:15
I hear what you're saying. But on the other side of that,
48:17
how could only one hundred and forty four thousand and go when we're all connected,
48:22
there's no separation? Is that are those Is that one hundred and forty
48:24
four thousand that goes like in condemned the rest parts of themselves that are still
48:29
there? Like it's so to me this it kind of all goes along the
48:31
same lines. It's it's a it's all a matter of perspective how you want
48:35
to look at things. And even what James talked about, James Van Prague,
48:39
he said, like only like thirty percent of our energy is here,
48:45
If I heard him right, I was getting ready for my day. But
48:49
yes, I don't. I didn't hear of a number. But he did
48:51
say like thirty like of our spiritual being, I only like about thirty percent
48:57
of that energy is in the physical body or you are. Did you hear
49:07
that? So if I understood, if I heard him right, James Van
49:13
Prague said that of our spiritual energy, like of me, only about thirty
49:20
percent of my energy is in this body, my spirit energy. And I
49:25
didn't I didn't hear him say that part because I just had gotten probably to
49:30
the part where he's talking about basically we have our soul is so huge,
49:35
our spirit is so huge and vast that we're like a big toe. Yeah,
49:39
that's what kind of how I heard him say. But I didn't hear
49:42
of a number. I didn't hear anything else after that. Oh yeah,
49:45
so that's cool. So yeah, no, I you know, and it's
49:51
not that like coming back so wanting to advance in learning self love, it
49:58
might, you know, the next life time would show up indifferently, and
50:02
who knows, maybe there's another level of learning self love and and like I
50:08
only reach a certain level in this lifetime, like okay, I'm ready for
50:13
the next level, and who's you know, and then the next lifetime is
50:16
gonna put me in situations to experience that in a higher on a higher level
50:27
vibration or frequency or right. So they just you know, it's just been
50:30
told and I've heard it, and it resonates with me that being in the
50:34
physical body on earth is the hardest life to have, and that we keep
50:40
coming back to keep advancing our souls so that we can raise our vibrations and
50:47
the more as I'm talking about this, like the more we do that,
50:52
each one of us collectively coming here in a physical body to learn these emotions
50:59
and to learn to raise our frequency and vibration while we're in the human body,
51:04
Like, that is what's what's propelling the shift and change and energy of
51:10
the planet, of the entire population, of war, of drugs, of
51:16
rape, and murders like, but also the other spectrum of joy and praise
51:21
and excitement and exhilaration. So I'm just like, the more we are learning
51:30
to advance ourselves in the physical body, we're also advancing our souls, which
51:34
means we're we're creating this huge shift. And it's not just for us individually,
51:40
Like our energy affects thousands of people. So I just think that's that's
51:46
huge. That's amazing. It's like, you know how Alex say, He's
51:52
like, it makes your makes your brain hurt when you think about it.
51:55
Sometimes he says that. I'm like, it's no joke because you go down
52:00
on this this rabbit hole with these thoughts and it's like, wow, so
52:09
cool. It is so cool. It keeps life exciting, doesn't it.
52:15
There does That's a great conversation. I can't even believe we've been here an
52:22
hour already? Are you? Did you? Oh? There you are.
52:27
It's like, doesn't even feel crazy. That really doesn't like I feel like
52:34
we've already been talking about fifteen twenty minutes, so it's just weird. Yeah,
52:39
yeah, that's crazy. I'm not facing any clocks, so I have
52:43
no idea. What's happened is Yeah, it's like been an hour already.
52:50
Nice, so awesome. I was that was great. It's a lot of
52:53
information, a lot of things to help people think, you know. I
53:00
think that's what things that's so beneficial about our conversations is it gives the other
53:06
people opportunity to think, to think for themselves, and especially based on their
53:13
upbringing and their belief systems and religion and all the other stuff that it's giving
53:20
them the opportunity to think outside of the box, to think differently, to
53:24
see things from a different perspective. And and again, it just it comes
53:30
back to giving yourself ease and grace. This isn't his life isn't easy,
53:40
So be gentle with yourself as you're moving through it. Catting final words,
53:54
just I would say, take the time to see how you really Bill,
54:00
And I always know there's someone else out there that it's around you that could
54:05
be very beneficial in helping you out if you're having struggles, and vice versa,
54:09
maybe you're the person that might be helping one of us out at another
54:13
time when we're having some struggles. So it's like it's always an ebb and
54:16
flow and you don't have to do this alone. You're never doing it alone.
54:21
You might sometimes feel like you are, but we've got so many,
54:24
so much help around us, and we have to have it informs of people
54:30
that you see around you. Have it informs of loved ones that have transitioned,
54:34
angels, guides, sending masters, there's so many different ways. The
54:37
creator of all that is God. So know that you're not alone. Yeah,
54:44
and when you asked to have that upliftment of your energy and to feel
54:49
something more than you're feeling right this moment, it'll happen. Yeah, if
54:53
you allow it. Yeah, awesome. All right, my friends, hmm,
55:00
thanks for hanging out with us two time with Amy and Bev. And
55:06
we'll see you when we see you, yeah, yes, we will,
55:15
all right, take care, see you later,