Latest / Captivate the Mic: Master Public Speaking & Video, Build Confidence and Boost Visibility / The Power of Persistence: Behind the Scenes of Sherry Sutton’s Ted X Talk

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The Power of Persistence: Behind the Scenes of Sherry Sutton’s Ted X Talk · Captivate the Mic: Master Public Speaking & Video, Build Confidence and Boost Visibility

• 0:06
  Hello and welcome.
• 0:07
  I am so excited to have this fabulous woman, Sherry Sutton.
• 0:13
  She is amazing.
• 0:15
  She's one of my business besties and she's so beautiful.
• 0:19
  And also kind and also freaking brilliant.
• 0:22
  So Sherry, welcome.
• 0:23
  Thanks for having me.
• 0:25
  We met through a couple of different networking things.
• 0:28
  And you just meet some people and you're this is my person.
• 0:31
  And I didn't know a lot of people in Dallas after, Moving back to help my parents and she's one of the people I can be like, We like never talk on the phone unless we're like, Talk me off the ledge.
• 0:52
  I'm going to go and fire all my clients and I'm going to work at Walmart.
• 0:57
  I'm just going to work at Walmart.
• 1:00
  Okay.
• 1:00
  Every once in a while, I call you when I'm having something good happen, but yeah she's one of those back pocket women, ledge talk one on one.
• 1:08
  So we know a little bit about you.
• 1:11
  You're an amazing marketer.
• 1:14
  You're also a brand photographer.
• 1:16
  Is there anything else you want to tell us about before we get into the story?
• 1:21
  Yeah.
• 1:22
  I'm a marketing mentor.
• 1:24
  I work with small business owners who are ready to do marketing, but just aren't, they don't want to Google anymore, right?
• 1:31
  They're sick of Googling and they don't want to write a 10, 000 check for an ad agency to do it.
• 1:36
  And so they're in between and they're trying to figure out how the heck do I market myself?
• 1:40
  And I want somebody who knows what they're doing to tell me exactly what to do so I don't waste my time and my money.
• 1:46
  And also so I don't.
• 1:48
  in a way that I don't feel like a spammy weirdo.
• 1:50
  Yeah.
• 1:51
  No spammy weirdos in there.
• 1:52
  And there, I do think there's a balance so the, the whole idea of this.
• 1:57
  My podcast captivate the mic was to have fabulous women sharing a story that's, enticing and interesting.
• 2:05
  And then after she shares it, we talk a little bit about, Oh, I love that.
• 2:10
  Cause I don't know about you, Sherry, but I listen to podcasts and sometimes the ones I'm speaking are so boring.
• 2:16
  And I want to make, I want to create art.
• 2:20
  That's like valuable and entertaining and inspiring.
• 2:22
  But That's entertaining, so no pressure, but no, I'm just kidding, but you charming, be fabulous.
• 2:29
  Damn it.
• 2:29
  Oh no.
• 2:30
  Or like when people would say, Oh, you're a comedian.
• 2:33
  Be funny.
• 2:34
  It's you know what?
• 2:34
  It doesn't work that way.
• 2:37
  You can't handle the funny.
• 2:39
  No.
• 2:39
  You have a great talk and I feel like I got to be a part of it.
• 2:44
  So I can't wait for you to enlighten us on, you did a TED talk in January of 2024.
• 2:52
  And I know so many people aspire to do that and tell us all this stuff.
• 2:59
  Yeah, so I wanted to share the story of how how I got the TEDx because I think it's an interesting story in both intention setting as well as actually taking the action to make things happen.
• 3:13
  I think sometimes in our world we get very focused on this manifest your destiny and all you have to do is You know, sit in Lotus and go, Oh, and think about what you want.
• 3:24
  And it's all good.
• 3:25
  If you get aligned with the universe, it'll all come to you.
• 3:28
  And I think that's true, but I also think it requires action.
• 3:32
  And so my story really highlights that.
• 3:35
  So back in, it was probably January of 2023, I had this.
• 3:45
  Put on my heart that I wanted to do a Ted talk.
• 3:49
  I'd always watched Ted talks.
• 3:50
  I am in recovery.
• 3:52
  I love Ted talks and I always wanted it to do one.
• 3:57
  And so it was like, now's the time.
• 3:59
  And so I was doing a vision board with a group of women.
• 4:04
  And for those of you who are listening to this podcast, you can't see what I'm holding up, but I'm holding up that vision board.
• 4:10
  And in the upper.
• 4:11
  And upper corner, there is a picture of the TEDx stage.
• 4:17
  So in January of 2023, I put that out into the universe, did the did what the manifesting people tell you to do.
• 4:26
  And I said aligned with my purpose, I'm going to say I want to do a TED talk.
• 4:31
  So I then decided I'll take the action.
• 4:33
  I looked to see, okay, where are there TED Talks near me?
• 4:38
  I interviewed some other people who had done TED Talks to understand what the process is, and I apply to do a TED Talk in my hometown.
• 4:49
  So I go to the website, I get all dressed up.
• 4:52
  I spend all this time prepping.
• 4:53
  I do the video.
• 4:55
  It's awesome.
• 4:56
  I think it's awesome.
• 4:57
  And then you're like, so nervous and you feel so vulnerable, it's you feel vulnerable because you want it.
• 5:02
  Yeah.
• 5:03
  And I, I'm usually very I don't really, if it happens.
• 5:05
  If it doesn't, and with this one, I was, I wanted it to your point.
• 5:09
  So yeah, then you're alone in your office like standing there like doing your presentation.
• 5:14
  Anyway, so I submit this thing it's probably like February, and there's going to be a TEDx event.
• 5:22
  in May.
• 5:24
  I think it was in May.
• 5:25
  I'm late to the party, but who knows?
• 5:29
  So I submitted online because they said they were still accepting applications and I'm waiting and I'm waiting and I find the lady who runs it and I start stalking her online and I send her notes on LinkedIn and I send her notes on Facebook and I said, and I nothing, I hear nothing back.
• 5:45
  And so I'm like, okay, This isn't my time.
• 5:48
  It's just not my time.
• 5:49
  I'm cool with that, right?
• 5:51
  I'll do it again later.
• 5:52
  I'll apply in different areas.
• 5:54
  I didn't really know you could apply outside of your home area, but so I'm like, I'll do it.
• 5:59
  I'll do it later.
• 6:01
  So May comes and I'm like, Huh, I haven't seen any social media posts about this TEDx happening.
• 6:08
  And so it might have even been June at that point.
• 6:10
  And I go and I look and there's nothing.
• 6:12
  There's no social media posts.
• 6:15
  There's nothing.
• 6:16
  I go to the website, nothing.
• 6:18
  I realized that it has been, it just never happened, right?
• 6:21
  The TEDx that had been planned just never happened.
• 6:24
  So I was oh that's.
• 6:26
  Weird.
• 6:26
  I guess I feel better that's why I didn't get accepted.
• 6:31
  But okay, right?
• 6:32
  The universe has spoken.
• 6:36
  So towards the end of that summer, it might have even been like September, a social media post comes up on the TEDx Frisco website or wherever and says, we've changed ownership and this new person is now organizing our TEDx.
• 6:53
  And so I was okay, cool.
• 6:55
  I'm going to go stalk the crap out of her online and see if I can get, my application back in front of her, because clearly she's seen my application, right?
• 7:05
  So it's happening in January.
• 7:08
  I know that she's going to be looking for speakers.
• 7:11
  And so I want to make sure that my application got to her.
• 7:14
  And if not, I'll send her another one.
• 7:15
  So I stalk her on Instagram and all the places.
• 7:19
  And she reaches back out to me and says, yeah, I'd love to talk to you.
• 7:25
  I was like, okay, cool.
• 7:26
  So I get on a zoom with her.
• 7:29
  And by the end of the zoom, I have landed the TED talk.
• 7:34
  But that's not the cool part.
• 7:37
  So I go through the whole thing.
• 7:41
  I do the whole, the Ted talk.
• 7:42
  It goes great, spend months prepping.
• 7:45
  We do the TEDx in January.
• 7:48
  It was an incredible experience.
• 7:49
  I feel so grateful and we are having dinner.
• 7:56
  all the speakers afterwards.
• 7:57
  We had a celebratory dinner a few weeks after the TED talk.
• 8:01
  And I said, gosh, I'm so glad that I, reached out to you.
• 8:06
  And I'm so glad that like my application was still there after all that time and that you had taken over and we're looking for new speakers and she goes, oh no.
• 8:18
  We weren't looking for new speakers.
• 8:20
  We were only going to take the speakers goosebumps.
• 8:25
  We were only going to take the speakers who were already booked for the may event.
• 8:33
  I never saw your application, but when you reached out to me, I just had a feeling.
• 8:39
  And so I agreed to meet with you because I realized that our event.
• 8:45
  wouldn't be the same without you.
• 8:47
  And so I never saw your application and we weren't looking for speakers, but I met you and I knew you had to be part of it.
• 8:56
  Wow.
• 8:57
  I was like, wow.
• 9:01
  I just was so honored.
• 9:03
  And I think You know, it's a great lesson in you can manifest, you can decide what you want to do, you can make decisions, you can take the actions, but it doesn't matter unless you're willing to continue to take.
• 9:19
  repetitive action, right?
• 9:21
  Just because someone says no once doesn't mean that it's not, or it doesn't work out once doesn't mean you don't apply again, right?
• 9:28
  And I didn't know this at the time, but TED speakers tend to apply to multiple places before they ever get in.
• 9:34
  This is like a unicorn.
• 9:36
  thing that happened to me, but it's about setting the intention, but then also being willing to take the action and be persistent and put your hand up and say, I want this.
• 9:48
  I think as women, we don't say I want this.
• 9:51
  I want this.
• 9:52
  What do I need to do to convince you?
• 9:54
  And I remember years ago, someone, coached me on interviewing and they said, ask for the job.
• 10:00
  The people who ask for the job generally get the job because no one asks, no one says, I want this job.
• 10:08
  Wow.
• 10:09
  Wow.
• 10:09
  So I think it's a cool story.
• 10:13
  I love that so much.
• 10:15
  What a beautiful story.
• 10:16
  And I didn't know, I knew parts of it.
• 10:18
  So wow.
• 10:21
  Amazing.
• 10:21
  I needed this today, by the way, so thank you.
• 10:25
  So yeah, so many great things.
• 10:27
  Obviously the content was beautiful and I felt like you were real and raw.
• 10:33
  You're so great with your pausing.
• 10:36
  Like I really loved your pace and you're like telling the story, but then you took some time because as an audience person, especially if we don't know you or we don't know your story, it takes time for us to process.
• 10:52
  And so I just really loved how you took your time and you had vocal variety.
• 10:58
  You went up and then you went some down and there was some modulation, but here's the real thing, just, that was lovely.
• 11:07
  Lovely storytelling.
• 11:08
  Anyone who's listening, who wants to become a better speaker, go watch Sherry's Ted talk too.
• 11:14
  And another reason I'm in recovery as well.
• 11:18
  And I watch a lot of Ted talks too.
• 11:21
  And Sherry's is one of the very best crafted I've ever seen.
• 11:29
  The way you weave in your story and The emotions and the process.
• 11:36
  And so yeah, kudos, kudos.
• 11:38
  That was beautiful.
• 11:40
  That was so beautiful.
• 11:42
  And I, I think what happens, we both work with mostly female entrepreneurs and a few smart men.
• 11:48
  And I know I'm a recovering drama queen.
• 11:51
  I'm a recovering, super sensitive Sally.
• 11:54
  And this is something I am still getting to work on.
• 11:58
  Thank you, universe.
• 11:59
  I'm pretty good at taking some action, setting the intention, taking some action.
• 12:03
  But if I get three nos like that's where I will stop.
• 12:07
  And I'm not even conscious that I do that sometimes, but I love it that you just stayed open to it.
• 12:13
  And I also love the fact that, yeah, it's good to set intentions.
• 12:18
  It's great to do vision boards.
• 12:20
  And now you have to get off your butt and do the work, and I call that the unsexy parts of business, right?
• 12:28
  I just want to be on stage coaching and speaking and doing my comedy.
• 12:32
  And yet there's all this other stuff in business.
• 12:36
  That is required.
• 12:38
  I just love it that it would have been so easy to just give up on the Frisco thing, from what I've heard, producing Ted Talks is really challenging and it's totally for the love of it.
• 12:51
  It's a volunteer position.
• 12:53
  And what I've learned is that a lot of Ted producers get burned out.
• 12:58
  Because it's like a full time job and a lot of them have a job, so I just love that Sherry and another thing I want to highlight, I'll put her TED talk.
• 13:09
  I'll put the link in the show notes I have been to several TED talks and the production values at this one.
• 13:17
  I went to support one of my clients and I was horrified.
• 13:21
  And I remember thinking, I don't know what the TEDx is versus the, I don't know the nuances, but I was embarrassed.
• 13:30
  For the speakers that they were literally junior high kids doing the lighting and the sound and people were in the dark people were like half shadow it was almost how not to put on an event, and of course, I just kept biting my tongue because I didn't want to squelch.
• 13:44
  My client, she was happy.
• 13:46
  She just wanted to do it and she didn't seem to care that she was in the dark and nobody could hear her.
• 13:50
  And so I didn't want to burst that bubble, right?
• 13:52
  Like I helped her prep, but I remember walking away thinking, okay, I'm not sure I want to be a part of that, and then, so I was so excited, Sherry, cause I got to come be at your beautiful event.
• 14:05
  And it was.
• 14:06
  The complete opposite.
• 14:07
  Like it was so professional.
• 14:09
  It was in this beautiful space.
• 14:11
  The lighting, the production, the sound, everything was like next level.
• 14:17
  It was amazing.
• 14:18
  And so I'm so grateful that I stayed open.
• 14:21
  And then I had the privilege of helping you tweak some vocal things, so many great lessons about.
• 14:27
  Being open and no just means not right now and not making it mean stuff about you.
• 14:36
  Yeah.
• 14:36
  And I think, let's be clear, no is a full sentence and if some, if someone says no and it's safety thing or whatever, right?
• 14:45
  Obviously no means no.
• 14:47
  But there are times like this where I actually wasn't told no, I just never received an answer.
• 14:54
  And so I could have perceived that as a no.
• 14:57
  Absolutely.
• 14:59
  Or, go somewhere else, I could have gone somewhere else, even if I was told no, there's plenty of other TEDx's that I could have applied for.
• 15:06
  I didn't take the lack of response as a no.
• 15:11
  I continued to take the action, even though my sensitive Sally self, and you and I are very similar in that.
• 15:18
  Wanted to make it all about me.
• 15:20
  I wanted it to be like, Oh, they didn't like me.
• 15:22
  And it wasn't that the woman who was organizing it literally, this is what happened, had a massive life health.
• 15:31
  I think meltdown, there was some major life catastrophe that happened to her.
• 15:36
  If I had been in my ego self, And I would have very easily said this is all they didn't like me, they should have watched my video and thought that I was brilliant and given me the best spot, or whatever.
• 15:48
  Like they would create their own Ted just for me.
• 15:51
  And I didn't, I was able to stay humble through the process and go, okay something happened, they never said no, but they never said, yes, something happened.
• 15:59
  Let me keep pursuing this, right?
• 16:01
  Until someone definitively tells me.
• 16:04
  And then if they do tell me no, have the humility to go somewhere else and know that wasn't the one that was energetically aligned for me.
• 16:10
  See, I love that so much.
• 16:13
  I've been struggling with some depression and just funk.
• 16:18
  And I really think this was God today.
• 16:20
  Like you're interviewing Sherry for your own sanity, because I know for me too.
• 16:27
  And I don't want to admit this, but.
• 16:29
  I teach vulnerability and authenticity, as do you, and when, sometimes if I'm not in a good spiritual place, so I could easily, if I were in your shoes, I could have easily taken that as a no response means no, and then where I go, because emotionally I can be five.
• 16:47
  I'm being vulnerable here, people, as I become an F.
• 16:50
  U.
• 16:52
  I'll take my toys and I'm gonna go somewhere else because you don't know who I am.
• 16:57
  And I'm not proud of that.
• 17:01
  Or you do the other side of it, which is I'm going to take my toys and go somewhere else, or the other side is I'm a piece of crap, and I'm not worthy, and this will never happen for me, and how dare I think I could have done this, how dare I think that, how that's where I go.
• 17:17
  Oh yeah, I, yeah, I vacillate.
• 17:21
  Like a ping pong game, who do you think you are Elaine, or, I still have my stepmother's voice, even though she's in the big pharmacy in the sky, I say that cause that was her happiest place when she was in the pharmacy.
• 17:35
  I still hear that voice, you're no spring chicken.
• 17:38
  I'm well aware.
• 17:40
  I am well aware of that.
• 17:43
  So I just love that.
• 17:44
  And I think, it's such a great example of.
• 17:47
  There's a famous quote by a comedian who says, you have to want it more than you're afraid of it.
• 17:54
  And I just think that is so juicy, cause there's always a good reason to not send the email or not pick up the phone or whatever.
• 18:02
  I love that Sherry.
• 18:04
  And is it okay, may I give you one little tweak I would love to see for next time?
• 18:10
  Yeah, of course.
• 18:11
  But with your storytelling is, I want you to keep playing with your voice.
• 18:16
  Because you have, and I know I get like excited and I can be up here sometimes and That would be the only thing is just to keep playing with vocal variety because we want resonance and you are a beautiful speaker.
• 18:30
  And one of the things I think sometimes we overlook is the voice, the charismatic voice.
• 18:37
  You know how there's some people when they're talking, you're like, Oh, I love that voice.
• 18:42
  James Earl Jones, who we just lost recently, so that's just the one tiny tweak I would say.
• 18:49
  And a lot of, women struggle with that, myself included, so thank you for that.
• 18:54
  And you gave me a lot of that coaching, leading up to the Ted, right?
• 18:57
  You helped me with pacing and that voice modulation, right?
• 19:02
  Some of the movements as well.
• 19:04
  We don't hear ourselves like literally we can't hear ourselves.
• 19:08
  And so I don't know what, do you usually advise people to record themselves and watch themselves just so that they can hear that.
• 19:18
  themselves.
• 19:19
  It's so cringy, but it.
• 19:20
  If they are new, I do not, because for some people just, getting on camera or thinking about being on stage is so I really work with them coming from their why and trying to come from within and focusing on.
• 19:36
  The person because that will help them be less self conscious now once you've gotten over that First big hurdle like I'm short and curvy all I can see are my boobs or you know I have sometimes I have to watch myself on videos several times before I can see myself Because I still have critical body.
• 19:57
  What woman who doesn't, right?
• 20:00
  And so if somebody is already speaking and yeah, this is how I look.
• 20:04
  This is how I sound.
• 20:05
  I'm, I look amazing.
• 20:06
  I'm 87.
• 20:07
  Look, I look amazing.
• 20:08
  And so I tell people I'm 87 and then they go, wow, you look amazing.
• 20:13
  You can use that.
• 20:15
  Once you've gotten over that hurdle of yeah, this is what I do.
• 20:18
  Then I encourage people to watch themselves and record.
• 20:21
  And.
• 20:22
  Let me tell you, editing yourself, whoo, that is humbling because when I'm excited, I can sound like a valley girl, which I am like Elaine.
• 20:34
  So that's been a rude awakening, but a good awakening.
• 20:40
  I'm working on coming more from my center and can I be excited without that?
• 20:45
  Going into the, Oh my God, I'm so excited.
• 20:48
  It's Oh, Elaine, you're 56.
• 20:54
  So thank you Sherry so much.
• 20:56
  If people want to find you, where can they find you?
• 21:00
  Yeah, so my website is sherrysutton.
• 21:02
  com, S H E R Y S U T O N.
• 21:07
  com, and you can find me in all the social places.
• 21:10
  I'm under Sherry Sutton, your marketing mentor.
• 21:14
  And you can also find my TEDx, and you're going to put the notes below, but if you want to, if you guys want to Google for it, it's called How Facebook Saved My Life and Started an Authenticity Revolution.
• 21:26
  Oh, I love it.
• 21:27
  Thank you, Sherry.
• 21:28
  This was great.
• 21:30
  Fabulous and amazing.
• 21:31
  I'm uplifted and inspired by you as always.
• 21:34
  And thanks everybody and go make it a great day.
• 21:38
  Bye.
• 21:39
  Bye.