Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 379. HEADNOISE: What do my dreams mean, starting a new job & more! Part 1

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379. HEADNOISE: What do my dreams mean, starting a new job & more! Part 1 · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:11
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, Happy Friday, and welcome to your Head
0:15
Speaker 1: Noise voice mail episode.
0:18
Speaker 2: So we're doing two parts today.
0:19
Speaker 1: We're doing a voice mail episode and then we are
0:22
Speaker 1: doing the head Noise email episodes. I don't need to
0:25
Speaker 1: bang on any further how much I love these head
0:27
Speaker 1: Noise episodes, but I love them, and it's so nice
0:31
Speaker 1: to hear your voices.
0:31
Speaker 2: It feels like we're having a conversation. So if you're
0:34
Speaker 2: hesitant should I should I not? Just send it through.
0:36
Speaker 1: And if you don't want to hear your voice on
0:38
Speaker 1: the air, then of course you can always email through
0:41
Speaker 1: your question and that will be part two of today's episode,
0:45
Speaker 1: Little Life Update. I will two things if you're watching
0:48
Speaker 1: the video of this, I've got the the fucking microphone
0:53
Speaker 1: and it doesn't have like the foamy bit on it
0:55
Speaker 1: because I stupidly, well maybe not stupidly, but I always
0:59
Speaker 1: take my mind microphone with me in cases any last
1:01
Speaker 1: minute recordings or ads or whatever that I need to do.
1:04
Speaker 1: And I took my mic with the pham bit to
1:07
Speaker 1: Melbourne and then I was packing my bag and I
1:10
Speaker 1: was leaving on Monday morning, and I was like, where
1:13
Speaker 1: the fuck is the fucking foam cover because I don't
1:16
Speaker 1: remember packing it, but all my shit had been packed.
1:18
Speaker 2: We had to leave the hotel, so.
1:20
Speaker 1: Instead I'm like, well, I'll just like trawl through the
1:22
Speaker 1: hotel room really really well to make sure it's not anywhere.
1:24
Speaker 1: I went under the bed, I had the torch, every
1:26
Speaker 1: little crevice of this hotel.
1:28
Speaker 2: Room, couldn't find it.
1:30
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, well, it's definitely got to be
1:32
Speaker 1: in one of my bags, and it was not. So
1:33
Speaker 1: I don't know where this phone thing is, but if
1:35
Speaker 1: whoever has it in their possession, it's seen some it's
1:40
Speaker 1: had a good life basically.
1:42
Speaker 2: Um So now I'm just here with my dead cat.
1:45
Speaker 1: They call it a dead cat, which is quite a
1:47
Speaker 1: morbid name. But yeah, anyway, good times.
1:50
Speaker 2: Ah what else? Oh my god? Also Melbourne. So many
1:54
Speaker 2: beans in Melbourne, So many beans in Melbourne. I bumped
1:57
Speaker 2: into three beans at the airport.
2:00
Speaker 1: I bumped into an epic bane who was a bartender
2:03
Speaker 1: and we had shots together.
2:05
Speaker 2: I bumped into a ban at the line to a club.
2:07
Speaker 2: The just beans.
2:08
Speaker 1: As far as the I can say, my Melbourne beans
2:10
Speaker 1: are like pretty fucking die hard. And I love you
2:13
Speaker 1: guys so much, so thank you for coming and saying
2:16
Speaker 1: hello and yeah.
2:18
Speaker 2: I just love it all right, So let's just get
2:20
Speaker 2: straight into it.
2:20
Speaker 1: We've got I want to get through three voice messages today,
2:24
Speaker 1: so let's start with the first one.
2:27
Speaker 3: Hi, Alexa, I just wanted to say that your podcast
2:29
Speaker 3: has been my saving grace during huge posts you need transition,
2:33
Speaker 3: starting my career and moving to a new city has
2:35
Speaker 3: been a lot for me, so it's helped me feel
2:38
Speaker 3: a lot less alone with all these changes, having your
2:40
Speaker 3: podcast to fall back on. I also wanted to ask
2:43
Speaker 3: you about sleeping dreams. I recently got out of a
2:46
Speaker 3: six year long relationship, and while I'm doing fine during
2:49
Speaker 3: the day, feeling super productive, working out, focusing on my
2:52
Speaker 3: career and moving on, my ex keeps showing up in
2:55
Speaker 3: my dreams at night.
2:56
Speaker 2: And I don't know.
2:57
Speaker 3: If there's meaning behind this or it's just my subc
3:00
Speaker 3: just processing things. But I would love to hear your
3:03
Speaker 3: thoughts because I can't control my dreams and I don't
3:05
Speaker 3: know how to stop the thoughts that come during my sleep,
3:09
Speaker 3: and then I wake up super disoriented and a little
3:11
Speaker 3: bit sad to start the day. So any neuroscience background
3:16
Speaker 3: tips tricks that you have for how to kind of
3:19
Speaker 3: combat those dreams would be amazing. And thank you again
3:21
Speaker 3: for like having the most amazing podcast ever.
3:25
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. That's an awesome yeah, awesome question.
3:29
Speaker 1: I okay, the jury is still out on the science
3:32
Speaker 1: of dreams to an extent. Wh're not There are theories
3:35
Speaker 1: out there, but we're not one hundred percent sure as
3:39
Speaker 1: to why we dream the things that we dream. One
3:42
Speaker 1: of the main theories is that it's kind of like
3:45
Speaker 1: you mentioned, your subconscious kind of processing a lot of information.
3:49
Speaker 1: Another theory is, you know, sometimes you'll dream about events
3:52
Speaker 1: that happened that day, or for example, what often my
3:55
Speaker 1: dreams would be isy if I had worked like a
3:58
Speaker 1: huge double shift teaching politist classes, and I taught ten
4:01
Speaker 1: classes in one day and I was absolutely fried, then
4:04
Speaker 1: my whole dream would be that I'm late to teach
4:06
Speaker 1: and I've got a teaching that I've missed a class
4:08
Speaker 1: or whatever, and it was all this stuff around teaching,
4:11
Speaker 1: and then I'd wake up almost exhausted because it felt
4:13
Speaker 1: like I'd been teaching classes throughout my whole sleep as well.
4:16
Speaker 1: So there is a link between somewhat consolidating and processing
4:21
Speaker 1: of information and emotions. But then of course so many
4:24
Speaker 1: of us have really random dreams that don't seem to
4:27
Speaker 1: link to absolutely anything, and there's no real definitive explanation
4:32
Speaker 1: on that either. So the point of me saying that
4:35
Speaker 1: is there's not really much you can do from the
4:39
Speaker 1: why aspect of you know why this is happening, because
4:41
Speaker 1: you seem to be doing everything quite well during the day.
4:44
Speaker 2: But what I would recommend is pay attention to how you.
4:49
Speaker 1: React when you wake up and acknowledge that that's what
4:52
Speaker 1: you dreamt about. So a prime example of this is
4:55
Speaker 1: often when we have a dream, we wake up, but
4:58
Speaker 1: we get distracted, and before we know it, that dream
5:00
Speaker 1: is completely like a distant past memory. We can't even
5:03
Speaker 1: recall that dream even if we wanted to, because we
5:06
Speaker 1: started distracting ourselves, well not even distracting, but occupying ourselves
5:10
Speaker 1: with other things throughout the day, right, and then before
5:12
Speaker 1: you know it, you can't.
5:13
Speaker 2: You have no idea what you dreamt about.
5:14
Speaker 1: Versus you have a dream, you wake up and you
5:18
Speaker 1: instantly think, God, that was a weird dream. Oh, and
5:20
Speaker 1: you start replaying it, replaying at replaying it, and then
5:22
Speaker 1: of course, because you're replaying it, you're consolidating that the
5:26
Speaker 1: emotions or the scenes that you experienced in your dreams,
5:29
Speaker 1: and then it's something that plays in your mind for
5:31
Speaker 1: at least the better part of the day or the
5:33
Speaker 1: first half of the day or something like that. So
5:35
Speaker 1: I think it's really the best way for you to
5:39
Speaker 1: tackle this would be to look at what are you
5:42
Speaker 1: doing first thing in the morning and make sure that
5:44
Speaker 1: it's kind of a bit of a circuit breaker so
5:45
Speaker 1: you're not fixated on your dreams, because this is something
5:49
Speaker 1: that eventually will fade. Because I remember when I was
5:53
Speaker 1: going through my like after a breakup for the first
5:55
Speaker 1: kind of year, it probably even two years.
5:58
Speaker 2: Even when I was.
5:58
Speaker 1: Well over the guy, he would crop up in my
6:01
Speaker 1: dreams relatively regularly. In the first year was just awful
6:05
Speaker 1: because I'd wake up being like, oh my god, I
6:07
Speaker 1: felt like we're back together, Oh my god, and I've
6:09
Speaker 1: got a process it again. But even then after, it's
6:11
Speaker 1: almost like the brain, because you went through such an
6:13
Speaker 1: intense emotional thing with the breakup, the brain kind of
6:16
Speaker 1: replays it again and again and again and brings that
6:18
Speaker 1: person back and back and back because it was such
6:21
Speaker 1: a significant event in your life, especially the breakup and
6:23
Speaker 1: the emotions associated with it. So I think you want
6:28
Speaker 1: to think about what do I want to do first
6:30
Speaker 1: thing in the morning, that it's not bringing my mind
6:33
Speaker 1: to the dream. So could it be I wake up
6:36
Speaker 1: and while I'm getting ready, I'm going to put on
6:38
Speaker 1: an audiobook that I'm really into. So straight away get
6:40
Speaker 1: out of bed, and while I'm like getting dressed to
6:43
Speaker 1: either go to work or a walk or the gym
6:45
Speaker 1: or whatever it is that you do in the morning,
6:46
Speaker 1: I put on like a really entertaining book where I'm like, Okay,
6:50
Speaker 1: I'm entertained, but I'm also still able to do shit.
6:52
Speaker 1: So obviously, do not be scrolling on social media or
6:55
Speaker 1: anything like that, because that's kind of draining you in
6:57
Speaker 1: a negative way. So things like that things that are
7:00
Speaker 1: going to instantly switch your awareness.
7:02
Speaker 2: My focus is somewhere else. My focus is he.
7:04
Speaker 1: Or can you get up, put stuff on, get your
7:07
Speaker 1: favorite playlist on, and go for a run or a
7:09
Speaker 1: walk or whatever. Things that are basically going to shift
7:13
Speaker 1: where your awareness is and pivot it into something.
7:15
Speaker 2: That's really good.
7:16
Speaker 1: So while the dream is still happening until your brain
7:19
Speaker 1: decides to taper it off and not dream about it anymore,
7:22
Speaker 1: while that dream is still happening.
7:24
Speaker 2: You've got to be like, how can I work with
7:25
Speaker 2: what I've got?
7:26
Speaker 1: And what I've got right now is where I focus
7:28
Speaker 1: my attention on, given the fact that I can't control
7:32
Speaker 1: this happening. And you're going to find that while it
7:34
Speaker 1: still exists, it's not going to consume you nowhere near
7:36
Speaker 1: as much. Your mornings won't be as sad because you'll
7:39
Speaker 1: you'll with practice, you'll get really good at pivoting straight away.
7:44
Speaker 1: You wake up, if you have dreamt about that, you
7:47
Speaker 1: acknowledge it, Bang, you pivot and you do a different
7:49
Speaker 1: activity altogether. So give that a go, and it eventually
7:54
Speaker 1: is going to fade away.
7:55
Speaker 2: It will fade away.
7:56
Speaker 1: The more attention you give the dreams, the thoughts, the
7:59
Speaker 1: emotions about that, the more likely it is to continue
8:01
Speaker 1: to crop up in your dreams again and again and again.
8:03
Speaker 1: So it's about acknowledge, yep of acknowledge that, put it
8:07
Speaker 1: away and now pivot and with.
8:09
Speaker 2: You know, practice makes perfect.
8:11
Speaker 1: Thank you for sending that in and thank you for
8:12
Speaker 1: your beautiful words about the podcast.
8:14
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
8:17
Speaker 1: Sense sense.
8:40
Speaker 2: All right.
8:41
Speaker 4: Next one, Hi, Alexa, My question is about I guess
8:47
Speaker 4: physical intimacy issues.
8:50
Speaker 1: So my partner and I split up about ten months ago,
8:53
Speaker 1: but have stayed in contact the whole time, just as
8:55
Speaker 1: friends and kind of emotionally supporting one another. We're both
8:59
Speaker 1: not seeing anyone else, are both very much single. We've
9:02
Speaker 1: talked about getting back together, but one of the things
9:06
Speaker 1: that stops him is that he doesn't want to be
9:08
Speaker 1: intimate at all, and I really do so. He knows
9:12
Speaker 1: that this is an important part of my life and
9:14
Speaker 1: our relationship, but he says he doesn't want to be
9:16
Speaker 1: touched and he can only manage a hug, So he
9:19
Speaker 1: doesn't want to get back together because he feels that
9:21
Speaker 1: he won't be able to give me the physical intimacy
9:24
Speaker 1: that I want.
9:26
Speaker 2: This was never the case in the past.
9:29
Speaker 4: Our relationship was always really good, very physical, a lot
9:32
Speaker 4: of intimacy. Our sex is great, and he never had
9:35
Speaker 4: any issues with it in the past. It just feels
9:39
Speaker 4: since we've split up, he says he's gone back to
9:45
Speaker 4: how he used to be, which was just like a
9:47
Speaker 4: single farmer who never wanted to be physically intimate with anyone.
9:54
Speaker 4: He just doesn't have any interest. Do you think there's
9:57
Speaker 4: any way to get this back and go back to
9:59
Speaker 4: how we used to to be or do you think
10:01
Speaker 4: it's a bit of a lost cause.
10:03
Speaker 2: I would love your advice.
10:05
Speaker 5: Thank you.
10:06
Speaker 4: I love your podcast, by the way.
10:10
Speaker 1: Okay, that is such a fucking good question. I yet, great, great,
10:15
Speaker 1: great question. Look, I think that for the most part,
10:20
Speaker 1: anything can be salvaged and like you know, brought back
10:25
Speaker 1: or improved or made better. But the thing here is,
10:29
Speaker 1: he seems from what you've told me, he seems to
10:31
Speaker 1: be quite dismissive of like, oh yeah, this is me,
10:34
Speaker 1: this is how it is, this is what I don't want.
10:35
Speaker 2: I don't want.
10:36
Speaker 1: It appears to me that he's not coming to you
10:38
Speaker 1: being like I would want nothing more than to be
10:41
Speaker 1: intimate with you. I need some guidance. Would you be
10:44
Speaker 1: patient with me? I would want that help. You know,
10:47
Speaker 1: maybe maybe I should be speaking to someone opening up.
10:49
Speaker 1: Maybe there's intimacy issues underlying there that I really want
10:51
Speaker 1: to work through because I want to have this. If
10:54
Speaker 1: he isn't this mentality of I don't want intimacy and
10:57
Speaker 1: I don't really care to change it because it's not
10:59
Speaker 1: affecting me because like I don't miss it, I don't
11:01
Speaker 1: crave it, it doesn't really phaze me. Then if that's
11:05
Speaker 1: genuinely how he feels. Then I would kind of look
11:07
Speaker 1: at it as a lost cause given that, for you,
11:10
Speaker 1: physical intimacy is so important. Because yes, there are couples
11:15
Speaker 1: out there where physical intimacy is very low on the
11:18
Speaker 1: list of priorities, and they're very successful couples.
11:21
Speaker 2: They're very much in love, they have a very healthy relationship.
11:24
Speaker 1: But they're just not that into physical intimacy or sex
11:27
Speaker 1: or and it's just but because they're both like that
11:30
Speaker 1: on the same wavelength, that is why they can be
11:33
Speaker 1: such a successful couple because they align. Everything comes down
11:37
Speaker 1: to do you align, because the cracks form in a
11:41
Speaker 1: relationship when there's a total misalignment of needs being met
11:45
Speaker 1: and an intention of wanting your partner's needs being met. Because,
11:50
Speaker 1: for example, if I was in a situation where my
11:54
Speaker 1: partner needed X amount of physical intimacy and not only
11:57
Speaker 1: could I not meet it, but I didn't want to
12:00
Speaker 1: meet it because it's just not a priority. I don't
12:03
Speaker 1: I just don't want to. It's not something that I
12:05
Speaker 1: feel like is an issue with me. It's not that
12:06
Speaker 1: I feel that it's lacking, But then I would feel
12:09
Speaker 1: like it's just not going to be successful in the
12:11
Speaker 1: long run, because I would be like, I would feel
12:14
Speaker 1: like I'm kind of forcing it or doing something that
12:16
Speaker 1: I'm not really that interested in doing blah blahlah or
12:18
Speaker 1: vice versa.
12:18
Speaker 2: Okay, so you've got to look like, can I meet
12:21
Speaker 2: my partner where they like?
12:23
Speaker 1: Can ow needs? Can we meet our partner at their needs?
12:27
Speaker 1: Is what I'm trying to say. And it's not to
12:29
Speaker 1: say that you've got to force yourself to be different
12:31
Speaker 1: in order to satisfy your partner's needs, But it's to.
12:33
Speaker 2: Say, can I find a way that I or meeting
12:37
Speaker 2: in the middle?
12:37
Speaker 1: I should be saying, but can I find a way
12:39
Speaker 1: to want to be more like this so they feel
12:43
Speaker 1: that they're getting what they need.
12:44
Speaker 2: Out of a relationships sexually.
12:46
Speaker 1: And then can you be like, can I reduce my
12:50
Speaker 1: needs a little bit so they also feel like they're
12:52
Speaker 1: being met in the middle a little bit? But it really,
12:56
Speaker 1: for me, the determining factor in this would be how
13:01
Speaker 1: much has he shown to you that he would actually
13:04
Speaker 1: want this changed, Because if there's no intention to change,
13:08
Speaker 1: and if it's like, well, we could only work if
13:11
Speaker 1: you know you would be fine with us never being
13:13
Speaker 1: intimate and he's not doesn't want to change it at all.
13:16
Speaker 1: Then you've got two options. It's a lost cause don't
13:19
Speaker 1: pursue it, or re entering a relationship where there's going
13:23
Speaker 1: to be no great intimacy and you're someone that really
13:25
Speaker 1: values physical sexual intimacy and you're not going to get it.
13:29
Speaker 1: You will resent him, You'll feel like you're missing out.
13:32
Speaker 1: You'll be like, am I wasting time here?
13:34
Speaker 2: Did I fuck it up?
13:35
Speaker 5: Yeah?
13:36
Speaker 1: And then you'll start feeling like the grass is greener
13:38
Speaker 1: on the other side with other relationships and potentially a
13:40
Speaker 1: partner that would be a better match for you. So personally,
13:43
Speaker 1: I would be more than happy to be with someone
13:46
Speaker 1: if they were wanting to work through something, and I
13:48
Speaker 1: would work through it with them. I would be so
13:51
Speaker 1: flexible if I saw that the intention was there to
13:55
Speaker 1: want to change, and then I would help them. But
13:57
Speaker 1: if they didn't want to change, I would never want
13:59
Speaker 1: to force change someone if they themselves didn't want it.
14:02
Speaker 2: Never, never, never, it's not worth it for you. You end
14:04
Speaker 2: up presenting them, they end up presenting you because you're
14:06
Speaker 2: trying to change it.
14:07
Speaker 1: It just doesn't work. So really it comes down to
14:09
Speaker 1: that one question. Does he want the change and is
14:13
Speaker 1: he willing to do what it takes to change, to
14:14
Speaker 1: open up and learn about why pivoted so heavily for
14:17
Speaker 1: him or not. And that is the answer that you need,
14:22
Speaker 1: because I would absolutely not be waiting around for someone
14:24
Speaker 1: who has no intention to change, not a fucking chance
14:27
Speaker 1: in how you're all, there are going to be matches
14:29
Speaker 1: for you that are better suited.
14:30
Speaker 2: Okay, and same for him.
14:32
Speaker 1: He might have a much better suited match that kind
14:34
Speaker 1: of aligns in that way. Or maybe he doesn't even
14:36
Speaker 1: want a match Okay. Maybe he looks at you as
14:38
Speaker 1: a companion, he really enjoys your company, but he's like,
14:41
Speaker 1: I don't really want that kind of match.
14:43
Speaker 2: Okay. Dunkashan for sending that. In one more voice message.
14:52
Speaker 5: Hi, Lexis, thank you so much for your podcast. Every
14:55
Speaker 5: episode is so engaging and I'm so happy I found you.
15:00
Speaker 5: Got a question just about when starting a new job.
15:02
Speaker 5: I've recently started a new job where like there's heavy
15:06
Speaker 5: training for two weeks. It's in a big animal hospital
15:09
Speaker 5: as a nurse, and basically I just want to know obviously,
15:15
Speaker 5: when you're learning all new things constantly at a new
15:18
Speaker 5: job and the workload is huge, your brain obviously is exhausted.
15:24
Speaker 5: With taking in all this new information. But I want
15:28
Speaker 5: to know what's going on in the brain when that happens,
15:30
Speaker 5: and also why you can't be yourself until you have
15:35
Speaker 5: learned all of this and like you become more comfortable
15:38
Speaker 5: and settled in the job, because I feel like I
15:42
Speaker 5: am struggling. I haven't changed jobs for a while, but
15:45
Speaker 5: I just feel like there's so many new people to
15:49
Speaker 5: get to know, and I feel like I'm not being
15:52
Speaker 5: my true authentic self straight away because maybe I'm exhausted from.
15:56
Speaker 2: All the workload, but.
15:59
Speaker 5: And also just like learning new things and so many
16:02
Speaker 5: different personalities to work with. But yeah, I just sometimes
16:07
Speaker 5: feel a bit stuck with just being myself. So why
16:11
Speaker 5: does that take time to happen? Basically, thank you so much.
16:14
Speaker 2: My god.
16:15
Speaker 1: I love this question so much because I can kind
16:17
Speaker 1: of talk about like the brain and all of that.
16:20
Speaker 1: But okay, so firstly, what is happening in your brain
16:24
Speaker 1: a lot, especially because you're learning a lot of new things,
16:26
Speaker 1: You've got kind of your It's cognitive overload to put
16:31
Speaker 1: it simply, and I'll explain a little bit more in detail,
16:33
Speaker 1: but basically, your cognitive output is being put under a
16:39
Speaker 1: lot of stress, right now, and when your cognitive output
16:42
Speaker 1: is put under a lot of stress, that's a lot
16:44
Speaker 1: of your conscious processing that's needing to work over time.
16:48
Speaker 1: You're working hard, you're working a lot. It's not like
16:51
Speaker 1: you're ready yet to bring these jobs and pieces of
16:55
Speaker 1: information into your subconscious processing.
16:57
Speaker 2: Okay, so then.
16:59
Speaker 1: Be Because of that, you've got very little wiggle room
17:03
Speaker 1: to allow your brain to relax and do other things
17:07
Speaker 1: with ease.
17:08
Speaker 2: For example, be social but yourself, but.
17:10
Speaker 1: You're maybe you're maybe you're quite like warm, or maybe
17:12
Speaker 1: you're funny, or maybe you're great with banter, and you're
17:15
Speaker 1: finding that that's really difficult because your brain is very,
17:18
Speaker 1: very very much preoccupied right now with this cognitive load
17:21
Speaker 1: that is, of course learning all these new things in
17:24
Speaker 1: the training. Will that get better? Will it get easier?
17:28
Speaker 1: One thousand percent? What feels really difficult now will eventually
17:32
Speaker 1: become second nature for you. It's kind of a really
17:34
Speaker 1: good example of process of how the brain processes things
17:37
Speaker 1: is if you are listening to me, and I've done
17:39
Speaker 1: a brain fact about this, it's really interesting. But it's
17:41
Speaker 1: about like how you switch attention and how much attention
17:44
Speaker 1: is needed when you are for example, if you're listening
17:48
Speaker 1: to music in the car and you're driving somewhere that
17:50
Speaker 1: you've never been before, and you've got to be on
17:52
Speaker 1: hire a lot to figure out have I gone down
17:53
Speaker 1: the right street and by gone down to you. Then,
17:56
Speaker 1: for the most part, most people are like, turn the
17:58
Speaker 1: music down, I need to look where I'm going, And
18:01
Speaker 1: everyone finds out really funny because it's two completely different sensors,
18:03
Speaker 1: but you're competing for focused attention. So there is a
18:08
Speaker 1: specific example where even though listening to music seems relatively passive,
18:12
Speaker 1: which it is for the most part, it is still
18:15
Speaker 1: taking up conscious processing in the brain. It's using up
18:20
Speaker 1: processing power cognitive power to an extent, right, and it's
18:24
Speaker 1: our sensors that are all being processed at in different
18:27
Speaker 1: regions of the brain. So if you remove one of
18:30
Speaker 1: these inputs, then it allows your brain to increase the
18:34
Speaker 1: amount of focus that it can dedicate to another task.
18:38
Speaker 1: So using that analogy, and then of course we're able
18:41
Speaker 1: to find the thing a lot better, we're a lot
18:43
Speaker 1: less stress.
18:43
Speaker 2: We're like, okay, yep, I get it.
18:45
Speaker 1: However, you can blast the music if you're driving somewhere
18:48
Speaker 1: where you know how to get there, you're driving to
18:49
Speaker 1: your best friend's house. You're driving, you could be blast
18:51
Speaker 1: in the music because you're driving there on autopilot. You
18:54
Speaker 1: know exactly where to get there. You're not having to focus.
18:56
Speaker 1: It's just easy. The same goes for other tasks as well.
18:59
Speaker 1: You're really struggling to feel like yourself because there's too
19:03
Speaker 1: much right now. There's too much, and you're kind of
19:05
Speaker 1: like in survival mode at this point in works. The
19:08
Speaker 1: first two weeks, you're going into heavy training. You've just
19:10
Speaker 1: switched jobs. You're in a new environment, new people, new tasks,
19:13
Speaker 1: new relationships, new everything.
19:15
Speaker 2: Okay, new way of getting to work, new routine. Everything's new.
19:18
Speaker 1: So all you have to do right now is just think,
19:21
Speaker 1: I need to focus on the most important things that
19:24
Speaker 1: my mind needs to consolidate, because if I try and
19:26
Speaker 1: spread myself too thin right now, it's going to take
19:29
Speaker 1: me a lot longer for these tasks to become autopilot.
19:33
Speaker 1: But if I put all my focus, of course, be
19:35
Speaker 1: polite to people, whatever, but think I've got my whole
19:39
Speaker 1: time working here to warm up and get to know
19:41
Speaker 1: people and whatever, people are not going to be like,
19:43
Speaker 1: oh my god. People understand that when someone's knew at
19:45
Speaker 1: a job, they've got to find their fate. That just happens, okay,
19:48
Speaker 1: And you're obviously under a lot of workloads. So I
19:51
Speaker 1: would think, what is my main priority right now? For
19:53
Speaker 1: me personally, my biggest priority in the first two weeks
19:55
Speaker 1: of training is I want to get these processes down
19:57
Speaker 1: pat I want to learn what I need to learn,
19:59
Speaker 1: and so that way, when I start coming into work,
20:01
Speaker 1: it becomes easier and easier and easier, and the things
20:04
Speaker 1: that I have to think about a thousand times will
20:05
Speaker 1: eventually become second nature to me. And I know you
20:08
Speaker 1: said you haven't changed jobs for a while, but think
20:10
Speaker 1: back when you did start your old job, and like,
20:13
Speaker 1: I remember even part time jobs, even when you would
20:15
Speaker 1: work at a bar. When I worked at Red Bull,
20:17
Speaker 1: there were so many processes, and I remember the first
20:19
Speaker 1: few weeks being like, how will this ever be second nature?
20:22
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to have a list and remembered, and
20:24
Speaker 1: then before you know it, you're training up other people
20:26
Speaker 1: telling them how to do this, how to do that.
20:27
Speaker 2: It just becomes your brain when you give it.
20:30
Speaker 1: The space is very good at consolidating information and at
20:34
Speaker 1: subcon contracting that task to your subconscious mind. So a
20:39
Speaker 1: lot of what you're doing right now will eventually be
20:41
Speaker 1: a subconscious autopilot kind of process, and when that happens,
20:45
Speaker 1: you will become yourself again.
20:47
Speaker 2: In the workplace, it's just.
20:48
Speaker 1: About being a little bit patient, and in particular, do
20:51
Speaker 1: not stress yourself out because, for example, back to the
20:54
Speaker 1: car playing the music analogy, if you're like, no, I'm
20:57
Speaker 1: going to try and find this street while blah the music,
21:01
Speaker 1: what's going to happen. You probably will find the street,
21:04
Speaker 1: the music will be blasting, but you're gonna get there
21:06
Speaker 1: and you're going to be fucking stressed. No one's having
21:08
Speaker 1: a good time anymore, okay, because you've just tried to
21:10
Speaker 1: do too much in such a short amount of time.
21:13
Speaker 1: The flip side of that is, until I learned how
21:15
Speaker 1: to get to this location using the current analogy, again,
21:18
Speaker 1: I'm not going to have the music on, so I'm
21:19
Speaker 1: gonna get there, going to be a lot more relaxed.
21:21
Speaker 2: I'm going to be in a better mood.
21:22
Speaker 1: Okay, I didn't get to listen to music, but I
21:24
Speaker 1: know that once I learned to get here, then I
21:25
Speaker 1: can start loading up my mind with other things because
21:28
Speaker 1: I don't It doesn't require that much cognitive load. All right,
21:32
Speaker 1: So in a nutshell, less pressure, less is more focus
21:37
Speaker 1: on the important things and then start layering more and
21:39
Speaker 1: more and more when things become easier for you. Okay,
21:42
Speaker 1: and it will become easier, but the more you put
21:45
Speaker 1: that as a priority, the faster it's going to become
21:47
Speaker 1: an easier, more subconscious process. But great question. I love
21:51
Speaker 1: that fucking kind of question. That was a music guys.
21:54
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sending your voice messages in.
21:57
Speaker 1: Make sure to stay stay on board for episode number two.
22:01
Speaker 1: And that is all for today.
22:04
Speaker 2: Keep sending in your voice mails, your voice messages to
22:08
Speaker 2: it is.
22:08
Speaker 1: The website is www dot d y f mpod dot
22:11
Speaker 1: com and there's a section there for you to submit
22:14
Speaker 1: your voice mail and I love receiving your voicemails.
22:18
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
22:18
Speaker 1: As always, everyone remember be kind to yourself, be kind
22:21
Speaker 1: to your brain. Don't text shit from anyone, and especially
22:24
Speaker 1: don't text shit from yourself.
22:25
Speaker 2: Dunker