Latest / Halo Territory: A Los Angeles Angels Podcast / A MIRACLE: Former World Series hero Scott Spiezio lives to tell harrowing tale of drug and alcohol abuse

Transcript

A MIRACLE: Former World Series hero Scott Spiezio lives to tell harrowing tale of drug and alcohol abuse · Halo Territory: A Los Angeles Angels Podcast

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Play Angel fans in Welcome back to Halo Territory.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I am Mike D.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Giovanna, former Eli Times Baseball writer and host of the show,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: joined by Sam Blum of The Athletic, a regular HT contributor,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: and if you're watching on YouTube you can see we
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: have a very special guest today, Scott Spiezio, the former
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Angels slugger World Series hero speez. Thanks for joining us.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: How you doing today?
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: I'm doing fantastic busy, but it's always it's always an
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: honored to be able to talk to you too and
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: share some fun stories.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: All right, we'll get right to it as you. As
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: all fans know, Scott is a two time World Series
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: champion with the Angels in twenty two thousand and two
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and Saint Louis Cardinals and six. He hit the biggest
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: home run in Angels franchise history that three runs shot
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: to spark the Angels comeback from a five to nothing
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: deficit in game of the two World Series. But soon
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: after he rose to the top of the game, he
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: hit rock bottom, experiencing alcohol and cocaine addictions, financial hardship,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: eleven rehabs, two divorces, multiple arrests, and the estrangement of
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: several family members. We are happy to report that Scott
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: has come out on the other side of all that
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: and as authored a memoir titled The Hardest Comeback, which
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: was released on July twenty eighth, and he's also the
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: subject of a documentary titled Spizio, which will premiere on
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: September tenth. Scott, fans remember your clutch moments in the
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: World Series with both the Angels and the Cardinals. But
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: your biggest comeback happened after baseball. Why didn't you decide
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: this was the right time to tell your story?
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean we you know, we started telling the story.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: I mean when when Sam you know, came and came
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: to more big old town Moors, Illinois and it wrote
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: a great story, you know in the Athletic in in
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: the New York Times. Uh, you know, put it out
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: there as well and picked it up, and boy, we
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: got a lot of traction.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: And you know, Sam said we would.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: He's like, man, you know, we put this out, you're
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: gonna get a lot of traction.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Of course Sam. Sam didn't want to write the book though,
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: but well we did talk about a little bit, right,
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: But I think you had so much going on. Uh,
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: but you know, I actually after that, I just knew
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: that it was probably time to get moving on it.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: I'd reached out to a couple of people. There was
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: a girl from my church that had written two books. Uh,
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: she had ghost written two books for a pastor and
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: uh I asked her to do it and she said
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: no as well.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I talked to that the guy that did Left Behind series,
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Jenkins I think is his name. I can't remember his
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: first name, but like he was too busy, and uh
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: so I just kept, you know, just kept thinking of ideas,
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: talked to some different publishers, and then uh, Leslie Butcher,
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: who wrote who co authored my book, she said, hey,
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: I got somebody that you know, uh, wanted to do
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: a capstone project for their for their their degree, to
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: finish their degree, and wants to do a documentary. Would
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: you be interested? And I said, yeah, I'd definitely be interested.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: And so we started with that and then after that,
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: Leslie's like, we got to get this down and so
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: we we spent you know, eight months to ten year,
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: eight well probably about a year, maybe over a year now,
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: it's been a long time we've been working on it
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: and you know, man, I have a lot of appreciation
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: for what you guys do.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: That is not easy writing.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you know fact checking and editing.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I thought that would be the part
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: that was the hardest part. I think.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Let's give viewers and listeners a little preview of the
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: documentary is about a two minute trailer for the movie Spezia.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, Scott Spiezio, I'll take ten more, just like it.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: When he became our teammate, he was awesome right away.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Personality funny, but boy, he was intense, and his work
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: was intense, and his commitment was intense.
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: And his dad knew kind of the roadmap that he
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: needed to do to get where he wanted to be.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: My dad would tell me, envision great things, envision things
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: in the future. So I didn't vision myself hitting home
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: runs in the bottom of the ninth in the World Series.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: This is a big at bat for Scott Spezio.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: We'd always end every practice three two counts, two outs, bases.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Loaded down one in seven of the World Series.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: What do you do with two on one out? Seventh
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: finning and Spezio at the play Speezio and it's one
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: in the deep rank.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: I was literally praying, like God, please push this out,
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: like let this go.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, just unbelievable. One of the biggest moments in
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: our lives.
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: I think now they call it the greatest home I
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: ever hit in Angel Stadium.
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: Like everybody wants this guy's life right, like he's just
• 5:24
  Speaker 6: cool on the other side of the pillow man.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden boom.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: You know, I don't know what's happened to him. This
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: is not him, this is not Scott.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: It doesn't seem like Scotty. Why why is this going on?
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: It was just all a slow moving train wreck. What
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: changed in the window between his two world series wiz
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: all right, let's do this. Wow? Well that's ah.
• 5:57
  Speaker 6: That was That was unbelievable. I mean, I mean I
• 6:00
  Speaker 6: I saw some of the some of the spots and
• 6:01
  Speaker 6: Morris it was covered in snow though. I mean, you know, yeah, Scott,
• 6:05
  Speaker 6: Like I just want to say, you know, your story
• 6:07
  Speaker 6: is just I think I think people don't really always
• 6:10
  Speaker 6: understand addiction. You can, you know it exists. I think
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: you can internalize that it's it's out there that people
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: experience it. But I think you you coming out and
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: sharing your story is it's unbelievably important, and the way
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: you've done it just so transparently, even even like the
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: really really ugly parts of it. That was my experience
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: with going with you, and I was just like it
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: was so inspiring. And I think you having this book
• 6:33
  Speaker 6: and having this documentary. I'm sorry I wasn't part of
• 6:35
  Speaker 6: the book, but I do think, like, I'm just so
• 6:37
  Speaker 6: happy it's out there. So congratulations. Really it's awesome. I'm curious, like, yeah, no,
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: I thank you. And I'm curious if you take us
• 6:46
  Speaker 6: back to like kind of the origins of this of this,
• 6:49
  Speaker 6: you know, I mean it was alluded to in the documentary,
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: just like all the things that that kind of started
• 6:52
  Speaker 6: happening for you. But if you can take us back
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: to two thousand and four, you know, I think it
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: was with the Mariners what kind of spurred your addiction
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: and you know, let it begin spiraling.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean if you talk to and you know,
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: you know, you guys both know the story. But you know,
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: if you talk to anybody with the A's or you know,
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: in college or with the angels, they'll tell you I
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: was straight as an arrow, you know, I I I
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: didn't like taking advil tail and all at Adville.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Nothing. I didn't like going to trainers. I was very
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: rarely went out.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: I would go see some concerts, but you know if
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: I if I went out, which was rare, I might
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: have a beer or two. You know, very rarely did
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: I ever get intoxicated. And it didn't take much to
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: get me intoxicated. So I you know, I was very
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: careful with that. But yeah, have two thousand and four.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: You know, I really wanted to say with the Angels,
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: they had other plans, and so I was a free agent.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: I signed with Seattle and went to spring training. I
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: had signed a three year deal with the four year option,
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: and I had a freak play where I was playing third,
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: came into to make a pop up play on the
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: pop up at over the mound. Nobody called me off,
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: so I called it last second, hit my heel on
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: the side of the mound, and somehow that that jarring
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: blew out my T six and T seven disc and uh,
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: you know, right away I caught the ball, turned to
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: turn to uh Rich Aurelia flipped him the ball and said, hey, man,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: I think I just blew out my back and he's like,
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: really and I said yeah. And so next you know,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: that night, I could barely move. Next morning, I could
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: barely get up. I tried to you know, I told
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: the trainers. They said, go in the pool. You know,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: we'll give you some ultrasound. Blah blah blah. I tried
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: to hit. I actually tried to play, and Bob Melvin
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: was telling me, don't, don't do it, and uh, I
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: did it anyway. I hit a ball to the right,
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: to the left side of the infield, and I collapsed
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: coming out of the box. And yeah, it was a
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: scary feeling. I'd never really dealt with any injury of
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: that magnitude before. And and I went to you know,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: six different doctors down there in spring training. They all
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: told me the same thing. You know, that you blow
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: out your T six T seven. If if you try
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: to play, more fluid could come out and potentially paralyze you.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: And they said, it's going to take a long time
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: for your body to reabsorb that. And and if that happens,
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: then you know, if we wait until June or July,
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: we might be able to do a special procedure where
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: we go in, we clapsure lung, we take out a rib.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: We go in and put you know, reinforcement along your spine,
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: and there's a five percent chance that you could be
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: paralyzed with that surgery. And there's only one guy in
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: the country that does it. And you know, I'm just thinking,
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: you know, I went from there thinking like what what.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: In the heck?
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: I've done everything right, you know, I kind of you know,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: I'm a believer. Uh And and I kind of got
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: angry at God, like wait, I've I've done all this,
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: you know, the right way.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: What's going on? And uh?
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: And I just you know, I didn't handle it the
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: right way. I didn't really never doubt with that kind
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: of adversity, that kind of I thought depression was fake.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: I thought anxiety was fake.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: People would you know, say they have a you know,
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: had a breakdown of some sort, and I'd be like,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: what are you talking about? Like, you know, and and
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, I'm facing it. And I
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: didn't handle it the right way.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to reach out for help with anybody.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: I thought I could handle it my own. And and
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: I the other thing that was tough is, you know,
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: here I am on a new team with the Angels.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: I had such a great brotherhood with everybody on the team.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: And you know, guys like Aaron Anderson and Tim Samon
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: and x Time and benjam Molina and Orlando Pomero and personal,
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: all those guys, they would all like, look out, We
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: look out for each other, and you know, we'd hold
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: each other accountable if we were doing something stupid. And
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: here I am with the new team, trying to fit
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: in and went out.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: You know, they asked me, if you know, when I
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: was traveling with them, if I wanted to have a
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: couple of drinks with them, and I usually said no,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: but that night I did, and man, you know, I
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: was sipping a couple of beers. They threw a mixed
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: drink in front of me, and you know, I think
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: it was a jack and coke or rum and coke,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: and you know, it went down pretty easy. Before I
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: could finish that one, they put another one out, and uh,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: and then it just kind of went, you know, from
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: two to to ford to who knows how many, you know,
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: And it became a thing where I was doing it
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: every night, and and I have an addictive personality, and
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: and uh, I just went down the wrong road. And
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: when I when I drink, I'm a different person.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: We could take a quick break for word from our
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: sponsors and we come back. We'll have more from Scott Spiezio.
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: This is that time of year, aj it is Baseball's
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: time to shine, and it is Sea geeks time to
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: shine with MLB tickets and find the best pricing, seating
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: and games that are even sold out available on sea Geek.
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: Absolutely if you want to go to the biggest matchups
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: coming up. We have Yankees Cubs coming up. Where's Yankees
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: Red Sox? That means stuff Again, there's some big moments
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: that are coming up here and the as the penachases
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: really heat up, go to sike can find those green
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: tickets with the best deals and get yourself out to
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: an MLB game.
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and they're straightforward with you. They will actually put
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: a red dot next to a ticket that they don't
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: feel is your best look. Green dot means very good
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: code for you. It's Territory ten ten percent off your
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: next set of MLB tickets at seke. That's ten percent
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: off MLB tickets when you use the promo code Territory
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: one zero. Make sure you click the link in the
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: description to download the app and have the code automatically
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: added to your account so you can use it later.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Halo Territory with Mike d Giovanna Samblum,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: and Scott Spizio. Scott, did the depression, the anxiety and
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: probably all that downtime contribute and sort of fuel your
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: use And did that eventually lead to your release by
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: the Mariners?
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, no doubt about it. Yeah.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: I mean, uh, you know, I I eventually found a
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: doctor that told me my my spinal cord was thick
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: enough that even if more fluid came out, I could
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: play and and probably not be paralyzed. And because of
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: because of that, you know, I'm hard headed and said,
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: all right, I'm gonna do it. He finished that with,
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: as long as you can withstand the pain, you can play,
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: and probably the worst thing he could have said. So
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: I did whatever I could to try to, you know,
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: get on the field. But I continued to drink, you know,
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: to to help with the pain and help with the
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: depression still because I knew I wasn't the same person.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: And then once I drank and started making stupid good decisions,
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: you know, that ended up leading to my my divorce,
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: and and then then I then I just kept using
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: it to cover up guild and shame from the stupid
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: decisions I was making. And eventually, you know, you know, remarried,
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: uh to somebody that probably wasn't the best influence on me.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Of course, I made all my own decisions, but uh,
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: you know, I always say, show me, you know, show
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: me your friends, I'll show your future, and and it
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: was probably not the wisest decision to go in that direction.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: And then eventually after my release, and I don't blame
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: Seattle at all, I you know, I tried to play
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: that year. You know, in two thousand and four, I
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: hit two fifteen with ten on runs and like forty
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: eight forty nine RBIs, which in today's game was great
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: but back then is not too good. Cold cold, So yeah,
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: and then then eventually, you know, after the next year,
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: they brought in Adrian Beltra and Rissie Sexon. I had
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: nowhere to play got I had him forty something at
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: bats maybe worst year, worst year in my life. And
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: then I just you know, I knew I was never playing,
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: so I I just went out every night, me and
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: my my new wife went out every night, and it
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: was club time every night, and then eventually at the
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: end of that season.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: In November that two thousand and five is when I
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: saw my first drug at thirty three years old. And
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't say off to the races then because I
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: was still I wasn't using it all the time. That
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: didn't happen until late in August of two thousand and six,
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: when I went out with some some guys and my
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: wife in Arizona and I used some cocaine. I had
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: four lines a cocaine after saying no, and then went
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: out and hit two home runs the next day. And
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: so then it became a superstition. And uh, and I said,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: at the end of two thousand and six, I'd stopped
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: and we won, and I used it to celebrate, and
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: then it became not just something recreationally. It became something
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: that I needed physically every day. I think I had
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: already gotten to that point with alcohol. Now all of
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: a sudden, now I'm I'm including the drugs in there,
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: and it was it was a nightmare. By two thousand
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: and seven, I gave up everything in my life for
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: two things, and that was drugs and alcohol.
• 16:39
  Speaker 6: I'm curious you know, I think going out there and
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: meeting you know, your family was Yeah. I mean to me,
• 16:46
  Speaker 6: I think, you know, when you go through these these horrible, horrible,
• 16:49
  Speaker 6: you know, eras of your life, you know that's the
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: toughest thing. And you know, we saw your dad in
• 16:54
  Speaker 6: that documentary preview. I know that you lost contact with
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: him for quite a while. I'm curious, you know, you know,
• 17:00
  Speaker 6: losing losing them for the time that you did, and
• 17:04
  Speaker 6: regaining those relationships back. I mean, what has been that
• 17:06
  Speaker 6: process for you? And what does it mean to have
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: your dad? You know, also you know, Cardinals champion right
• 17:11
  Speaker 6: in your life again, and you know, having these people
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: so close to you and through this journey.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: It's everything. I don't think I could have done it
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: without them. I mean, it would have been a lot harder.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you one big, one big thing that that
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: helped me know that my parents were there. We didn't
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: talk for three years after that, or maybe you know,
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: two years or whatever it was.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: It seemed like forever.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: I think like the end of two thousand and four
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: season is when I stopped talking to him. We got
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: an altercation after the two thousand and four season, and
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: then I didn't talk to him again until the second
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: day of the season in Saint Louis in two thousand
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: and seven, the Cardinals reached out and asked my dad
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: to come and give me my World Series ring. We
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: were were we were and still are the only father
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: son to win with the same organization and and also
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: to a piece. And so the Cardinals said, hey, we
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: know what's going on. We think that you know, this
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: is bigger than you guys. You know, we really like
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: to celebrate this moment, not only for you guys, but
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: for for the organization and and uh, and my dad
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: said yeah. So without me knowing, my dad came and
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: UH had his old twenty six jersey on. And when
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: when Mike Stannon called him up, I turned around and
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: saw him and start bawling, and and I called that
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: the Prodigal Sun moment, you know. Afterwards, him and my
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: mom talked at the at their hotel room for probably
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: three hours.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: And then later that year I told the car.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: The car finally told the Cardinals that I had a
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: real issue, and they sent me to rehab, and my
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: parents came and took thirty pages of notes, not knowing,
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: you know, what to do. What they could do because
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: nobody in my family had ever really suffered from any
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: type of addiction, and so it was all.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: New to us.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: It was new to me, and I wish I could
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: say that moment I just boomed, I change, but it wasn't.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: It took, you know, it took another, uh, you know,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: twelve years, well eleven years before I was able to
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: get through it and and and beat it. But you know,
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: the whole the whole course, I knew that they were there.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I eventually turned my money, you know what. I had
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: left my money and my property over to my parents
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: so that they could save it for me, because I
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: was just burning through cash and burning through selling stuff,
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: burning through it, and I knew my only chance to
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: save my property was to hand it over to them.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: And we sold all the cars. We we got rid
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: of those, We got rid of bank accounts and checking
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: accounts so that I had no access to any of that.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: They basically would give me my food.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: Now that really helped me, because I had no access
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: to money to to to stop the drug use because
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: it's expensive. Now, I was still able to persuade people
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: to bring me by some vodka every once in a while,
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: although it was much cheaper vodka.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: It was some great groups to school.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: But eventually, you know, I think God slapped me on
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: the face and said, hey, man, like you got to
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: wake up and and uh, you know, I was Johnnie
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: and in the hospital. But having my parents there the
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: whole time, you know, they had they had nursed me,
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: they had brought me food. They would bring me, you know,
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: all these gift certificates or things like that to use
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: for food, but a lot of times they just bring
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: food to me and check in on me. And you know,
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: I just couldn't imagine what they went through as as parents,
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: you know, not knowing if if they're going to call
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: get a call that you know, something was you know,
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: something tragic could happen, or you know, or I wasn't
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: here anymore. And every time they came over they were
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: probably worried about that. But with their help and my
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: family's help, with my true friends, help from from my community,
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: we made it. And uh, you know, God God really
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: pulled pulled me out of the pit of despair when
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: when I was at my lowest point.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Scott, you've mentioned, uh that you were drinking a lot
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: of vodka during that sixth season, even before games I mean,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: how the heck do you hit what was it two
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: seventy two with an eight sixty two ops and you
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: helped the Cardinals win a World Series while you're using.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: How did that year even happen?
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: You know, I've had I had teammates say the same thing.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: You know, even into two thousand and seven. You can look,
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: and it was it was way worse than two thousand
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: and seven. I you know, I would you know, I
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: was at the end of two thousand and six, I
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: was using and drinking, and you know, it got to
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: the point where there were sometimes I didn't go to
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: sleep two thousand and seven, there was sometimes I didn't
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: go to sleep for three four days and would play,
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: you know, one hundred and twenty degrees on the field,
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: sweating your butt off, no sleep, hardly anything to eat,
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: you know, hardly any water, and I all I would
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: do is just say, you know, God help me get
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: through this somehow. And I'd always say I'm gonna stop,
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: and I just couldn't. Like I'd start physically shaking if
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: if I if I stopped, and so I thought, there's
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: no way I can keep playing if I'm shaking. So
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: I just would keep doing it, you know, and I
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: would just say, all right, see the ball, trust your hands.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: I would just fully rely on what I learned my
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: whole career and what you know, what my dad had
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: told me, and and it worked it. You know, It's
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: it's too bad because I really think, you know, two
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: thousand and six, for the most part, I was pretty good.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: I did do a lot of drinking the night before,
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: but usually by game time. I was pretty good until
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: the end of the season. But man, you know, two
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: thousand and seven, you know, two thousand and six, I
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: had a really good year. I think had I not
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: had that stuff in my system, I would have maybe
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: taken off and had another, you know, two or three
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: really solid years after that.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: But you know, everything happens for a reason. I guess.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, your career ended after two thousand and seven. How
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: did the disease progress after baseball over the next decade?
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: So, oh man, it's just you know, some of it's
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: hard to remember. Some of it, you know, I can remember,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: but I just don't know where it falls in the schedule.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: That was really tough when I was writing the book,
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: you know, leslie B, Like, what year was that, And
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know, you know, it was it
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: was tough, man. You know, I never gave up. I
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: just had a feeling that someday I would I would
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: make it. I was going to battle this and make it.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: Some days there was times where I, you know, I thought, man,
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it's worth it, Like am I
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: hurting people by by being here?
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: Is you know that whole thing? Would everybody be better
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: off if I wasn't here, you know, because you know
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: they wouldn't have to worry about me all the time,
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: you know, they wouldn't have to see me like this.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: And you know, there was some really tough times like that,
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: But deep down, I really felt like I was gonna
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: make it. You know, I went to eleven rehabs in
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: ten years. I might have bounts of sobriety, you know,
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: six months, ten months, twelve months. Sometimes I go to
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: the rehab and relapse within, you know, on the way home.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: And so it was.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: It was, it was a really tough battle, and the
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: cravings were what got me, like I would be battling
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: them all the time. And the other thing that was
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: tough is you know, know in AA or most of
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: these programs this you have twelve steps and the first
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: step is to say that you're powerless over alcohol. And man,
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: it was really hard for me. You know that's been
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: you know, my dad used to place stuff in my
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: in my room every night, and it would say, you
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: are invincible. The driving purpose of a winter flows through
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: your body. You are great, you are tampion, you are invincible.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: There's no limits to your strength, power, quickness. You have
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: more than enough to win every game. And this went on.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: You know, this would be played over and over. You know,
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: each one of those eighteen positive affirmations would say things
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: like that, which was great for baseball, was great for
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: you know, my playoff experience and pressure situations. Not so
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: great when you're supposed to be vulnerable and admit that
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: you're powerless and that you need help. And so man,
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: I just kept running into that stumbling block. And then
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: finally I think God, I mean I really literally think
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: God just said, man, like you you're close, but you're
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: you're not doing it like dam And all of a
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: sudden I woke up yellow man like you know, a
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: number two pencil and and and instead of this time,
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: instead of praying for help. I prayed that he took
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: away my cravings and that that was April sixth, twenty eighteen.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: And from that day on, I've had no cravings.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: As a matter of fact, when I see alcohol, I
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: get I feel physically ill, like like a nausea, which
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: is it's a total blessing, you know, because that's what
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: got me in the past. And so I've been totally
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: blessed with that. And not only that, he he cured
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: my liver. They told me I needed a liver transplant
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: for sure, and and all of a sudden, you know,
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: after you're getting you know, Parson tieces, you know, a
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: needle stuck into my my abdomen and them pulling you know,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: two plus leaders every time, and and you know, four
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: months into you know, whatever it was for visits into Northwestern,
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: they've said all your scans are normal and your your
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: your blood work is normal, and you don't have to
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: come in anymore. I said, well, there's my second miracle,
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: you know, and and uh so that's why I felt,
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: you know, I still feel, you know, that I need
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: to get the story out and and help people that
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: are suffering.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: And I'm already getting people calling.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: It's it's almost it's a little bit overwhelming, but it's
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: a good problem to.
• 27:30
  Speaker 6: Have, you know, I think just you know, the the
• 27:34
  Speaker 6: one of the things you've done really well, in my opinion,
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: is is you don't portray your this is the story's
• 27:39
  Speaker 6: over right, that it's happily ever after, and you dealt
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: with with with still deal with so much, with your family,
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: with your children, with you know, finances, everything. Uh, you know,
• 27:49
  Speaker 6: I'm curious why you felt like you wanted to share
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: the story when you you did, you know, getting moving
• 27:53
  Speaker 6: past the addiction, but also you know, still kind of
• 27:56
  Speaker 6: being through, still going through all the all the remnants
• 27:59
  Speaker 6: of of you know, going you know, having the addiction
• 28:02
  Speaker 6: to begin with.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, when when you're when you're an addict or an alcoholic,
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: no matter what it is you're dealing with it could
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: be gambling, you know, you're going to be that way
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: in the rest of your life. That's just the way
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: you're wired. And so I knew my life was never
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: going to be perfect. It was kind of like when
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: people were inviting me to church in the middle of
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: of uh, you know, my addiction, and I'd be like, well,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: I got to get I got to get better. First
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: before I go in there, Well, no, just go in there,
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: got to help you. You know, I knew if I
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: waited until everything was perfect before I wrote this book,
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: I'd be gone, Like, I'm not I'm definitely not saying
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: I'm anywhere near perfect to me, And I've got a
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: lot of flaws, you know, I'm just a normal guy,
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: still battling, you know, and and and you know, it
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: used to be used to be a lot easier with
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: money to do things, you know, but I was never
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: really happy. And now I have true joy, and I'm
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: you know, I live in month to month and and
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: and I I really enjoy it. And I just want
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: people to know that, you know, I'm an everyday normal guy.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: I made it.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: I still I still take the steps to make sure
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: that that I keep my sobriety every day. I try
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: to work with as many people as possible, and and
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: even with them, I say, hey, like I'm not perfect.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: I'm still there's still relationships I'm I'm trying to fix,
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: you know, And sometimes you think you got it, and
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: sometimes you know it ends up not being what you thought.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: And uh, it's it's all part of life, and and
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: it's all it's all for me. It's all blessing, you know,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: it's it's part of life. And and I mean, to me,
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: this is like, this is like extra innings, you know,
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: like uh, you know, I thought, man, I was, I
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: was right there on the edge of death and and
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: to have the opportunity to to share and to I mean,
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: if I can help one person, it's worth it, you know.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: And and and that that's what I you know, I've
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: just gained incredible empathy for people that are suffering for
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: any any type of addiction or anxiety, you know, or
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: anything like or depression, because I didn't have any before,
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: and now I have incredible empathy for them and want
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: to help any way I can.
• 30:20
  Speaker 6: What is baseball kind of meant to you now? Kind
• 30:23
  Speaker 6: of you know, obviously you know I can't play the
• 30:25
  Speaker 6: big leagues anymore, but just regaining that, you know, you know,
• 30:28
  Speaker 6: having baseball in your life. I know you teach kids.
• 30:31
  Speaker 6: I know you've been back around the Cardinals quite a bit,
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: you know, what is what is that meant? Kind of
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: getting that back in your life? And we're going to
• 30:37
  Speaker 6: see an Angel Stadium anytime soon.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: I'm hoping. Yeah, you don't think I can come back
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: and get four more hits.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: To get a thousand.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: I bet you could.
• 30:47
  Speaker 6: They'll make a movie. Don't make a movie of that too.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Looking at that video of you as a kid, your
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: swing was the same exact swing when you're twelve years
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: old as it was when you're hitting home or anaumal
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: series that I don't even know how to describe it.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like a chop yeah almost yeah, and
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: a very very abrupt, kind of violent, little downward motion
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: and it looked I was I love seeing that video.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: I couldn't believe how much is.
• 31:14
  Speaker 6: Signed.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah right, yeah, I would love to come back and play,
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: but you know, baseball's it was hard to watch when
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: I was, you know, down and out, and it was
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: hard to because it didn't end the way I wanted
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: it to end, you know, And then I knew it
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: was my fault and that was hard. And then you know,
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: COVID hit and uh there's a local team that asked
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: me to you know, the Jolian Slammers asked me if
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: I wanted to be a part of a four four
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: uh team season where I would manage and I thought, man,
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know. You know, it was like it was
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: like two thousand dollars. You know, I'm like, I'm going
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: to spend more in gas going to the game. But
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: I thought, you know, I thought, this is a chance
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: to see if I still love it and and see
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: if I like to coach. And I ended up loving it,
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: you know, and it was so worth it, and I'm
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: so grateful for that opportunity. It also helped me and
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: my son, Tyler bond because he would come and work
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: out with the team and he'd lift beforehand, and I
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: was actually lifting at that point with him. And then
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: he went back and played two years of college ball
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: as he was played four years of football and two
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: years of college baseball, which was really cool.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: And then it opened the door to the Cardinals.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: The Cardinals asked me to come back and be a
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: part of their fantasy camp, and then a year later
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: asked me to share my testimony at Chapel and then
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: and then the year after that asked me to come
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: and speak after Christen daan firm three thousand people. And
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: then the Angels asked me to come and speak to
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: their prospects that at Instructional League. And so I started
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: rebonding with some of my old teammates, some of the
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: old organizations, and I just fell in love with the
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: game again. And uh, and then I started doing lessons
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: and and that was a great opportunity because I'm teaching kids.
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: Uh now where there their parents were like at the assembly,
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: you know, as teenagers when I came back after the
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: two thousand and two World Series.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: So they're telling me stories like, hey, man, you signed.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: My glove, or man, I was at your camp, you
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: know when you were with the A's at at the
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: high school, and and uh, now I'm teaching their kids,
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: so I get to spend time with them, and I
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: get to spend time with their kids. And man, I
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: just had I just had one of my kids that
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: I worked with signing the fifth round, Jimmy Anderson.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: Uh yeah. And and so I've.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: Had a bunch of kids, you know, going to play
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: D one and and uh you know, junior college and
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: D two, D three any I, And it's it's just
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: been so fun. And I shared my story with them too,
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: and the parents, and and I had one guy he said, uh,
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: you know, he goes my son is and this we said,
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: is running front of son.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: He goes my son is.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: At that age where I'm a little afraid that he
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: might go out with his friends and you know, maybe
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: make some not not some great choices and he'll be
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: too afraid to call me. Would it be okay if
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: he called you, you know in that situation? And I'm like, yeah,
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: I would be honored. I would help anyway I could.
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: And he goes, you know, about about three or four
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: years ago, I wouldn't even wanted my son to interact.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: With you, you.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: Know, And and now I trust you that if he
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: called you, you would do the right thing. And I'm like, absolutely, man.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: And so it's it's just been a tot a blessing.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Baseball has been incredible way to use it as a
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: platform to to share my story and to help others.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I was curious beause you first went public with your
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: addictions and the stories wrote for The Athletic in twenty
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: twenty two. Was that a premeditated thing or is this
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: kind of a spur of the moment thing. It's like
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: it just started you blurt it out and just started
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: pouring out, pouring out your soul.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we Sam.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: I think it was just I had mentioned something at
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: the reunion, right, we.
• 35:21
  Speaker 6: Had actually spoke because so Phil Nevin had taken over
• 35:23
  Speaker 6: as the interim manager around that time, and I had
• 35:26
  Speaker 6: done a story on his like original you know, managerial
• 35:31
  Speaker 6: role at Indie Ball where you had played for him,
• 35:33
  Speaker 6: and you at the time were in the middle of
• 35:34
  Speaker 6: dealing with this addiction and you kind of relayed that
• 35:37
  Speaker 6: and you were talking about it with me, and then
• 35:38
  Speaker 6: I met you at the reunion and talked a little more,
• 35:41
  Speaker 6: and I think I texted you a couple of days
• 35:42
  Speaker 6: after that and we set up a you know, time
• 35:44
  Speaker 6: to go out to visit. And like I said, you know,
• 35:46
  Speaker 6: most most people are aren't like you, right Like, they're
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: not going to you know, have somebody want to kind
• 35:53
  Speaker 6: of and invade their privacy in that way, and especially
• 35:56
  Speaker 6: when it comes to like the deepest, darkest secrets and
• 35:59
  Speaker 6: shames of their life. And I think you doing that
• 36:01
  Speaker 6: is like one I so appreciate it. Uh to this day,
• 36:04
  Speaker 6: it's like, by far the most read story I've ever written.
• 36:08
  Speaker 6: And you know, I say that because your story just resonates,
• 36:10
  Speaker 6: right like, it just resonates in such a powerful way.
• 36:12
  Speaker 6: And it's because of who you are. It's because of
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: you know, what you've what you're willing to share and
• 36:17
  Speaker 6: what that says to people who all over the world
• 36:21
  Speaker 6: deal with whether it's addiction or something else in their life,
• 36:23
  Speaker 6: that you know, your story gives them some hope. And
• 36:25
  Speaker 6: I think, you know, whatever you accomplished in your baseball career,
• 36:29
  Speaker 6: I mean this, this succeeds it more than that home
• 36:31
  Speaker 6: run that we watched and more than anything else. I mean,
• 36:34
  Speaker 6: your story is just so amazing.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that, you know.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: I I think you know, it's great that that you
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: took the time to do that, and and and the
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: way you wrote it, and you you you helped me.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: Can you convinced me like, hey man, we got to
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: put some of the stuff that's ugly in there, you know.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: And and Sosa just that, Mike Sosa sent me a
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: message saying, hey man, I read your book. I'm so
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: proud of you. You're a true champion now, you know.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: I love that you put your story in their warts
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: and all, and and I think that's you know, it's
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: so easy nowadays with social media to see act like
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: everything is perfect. You know, I'm on a trip here,
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: I'm doing this here. But to put the things that
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: you struggle with, I think it makes it more real.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: And and I think that, you know, for a long time,
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: and I think my dad really realized this in the
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: course of writing the book and and doing the documentary interviews,
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: that maybe my purpose wasn't baseball all along. Maybe, you know,
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: maybe my purpose was was to help people, you know,
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: that are struggling and give them hope, you know, And
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: so for that, I'm I'm super grateful.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: Was there any part you mentioned the warts? Was there
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: any part of your story that was particularly or especially
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: hard to share, and if so, why do you felt
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: that thing was important to share?
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: Ye, there's a lot of them.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, uh, incidents where I got arrested,
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: you know, you know, physical physical things with with my
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: girlfriend at the time that were just stopped me, you know,
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: of course d UIs, you know, stuff with my my children,
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: you know, altercations with my father. Man, There's there's just
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: so many that that are really tough. You know, getting
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: paised never a fun thing to talk about, you know.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: But you know what what's even crazy about that is
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: I went and out and I'm planning to do a
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: live interview here on on August twenty ninth, and right
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: outside of my hometown, and two of the police officers
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: that actually arrested me for d U I are going
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: to be there and they're going to be interviewed too,
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: and so it'll give people an insight to what my
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: mind was like at that point. And and the guy
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: that teas me, I I got a Facebook message, he's
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: an Illinois State trooper. I got a message I'd spoken
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: Lincoln High School in Lincoln, Illinois. I get a message
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: a couple days later and this guy's like, hey, we
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: met on a on a dark, uh you know, hazy,
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: cold brist night in blank And I'm like, where's this
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: guy going with this? And he goes and that was
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: the first day that I in my twelve years as
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: an Illinois State trooper that I deployed and used my
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: taser and I'm like, whoa, you know, And and he
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: just went on to say like how proud he was
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: of me, and that I shared my story, you know,
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: at the high school where his daughter goes to school,
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: and that he was so happy that I turned my
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: life around. And you know, I started, I started crying,
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: you know, and then I started sharing that story that
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: some you know, you know, the whole thing, you know,
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: take lemons and make lemonade. Sometimes that's what you got
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: to do, you know, and to and to let people
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: know that it's it's real. You got to include those
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: things and and it's it's not fun sometimes, but it's
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: part of my story.
• 40:17
  Speaker 6: I kind of remember you telling that story and like
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: inviting the tasing right, like you were like, come, you
• 40:21
  Speaker 6: were Darren him if I recall, yeah.
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And we actually talked about meeting up
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: to have dinner, and so I will someday I will
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: go to dinner with him, and and I want to
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: hear his side of it, because you know, I did
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: talk to some police officers later and they're like, you know,
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: you're lucky he had a taser. If he didn't have
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: a taser, you're a big dude, and like whether you
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: were thinking you were joking around or not, he doesn't
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: know that, and it could have easily been a you know,
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: a horrific story of you know, I resisted the rest
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: and boom I was. I was dead, you know, So
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: I was very fortunate, you know that he had a
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: things or it didn't feel good.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you that I still got scars. I don't know.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: There's still stars on my arm here from the phaser
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: going in, but man, uh, yeah, it was.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: And then I told him that afterwards, I said, man,
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: that that hurt.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: It's supposed to hurt.
• 41:27
  Speaker 6: I mean, you're talking about this, do you do you?
• 41:29
  Speaker 6: How fortunate do you? I mean, it seems like you
• 41:30
  Speaker 6: were kind of like at the possibility of dying, like
• 41:34
  Speaker 6: time and time again. You know, whether it be from
• 41:37
  Speaker 6: like being jaundiced, whether it be from getting tased or
• 41:40
  Speaker 6: getting shot or you know, d u I or just
• 41:43
  Speaker 6: the addiction, whatever it may be. Like, how fortunate do
• 41:47
  Speaker 6: you feel just to be alive right now? And and
• 41:49
  Speaker 6: and like is it? Is it something you think about regularly?
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: I think about it all the time. That's why I
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: feel like I'm an extra innings, you know. I feel
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: that I've had I don't even know how dozens of times.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: I mean there's time I was flipped my four wheeler
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: over and hit my head on a tree and was
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: almost pinned under the creek. I luckily got out of that,
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: you know. I at one time drove my car and
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: hit a Luckily I went into a ditch instead of
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: hitting a cover or a tree. I jumped from the
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: eleventh or tenth story balcony to the ninth story balcony
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: at one time, you know, that's that's in the book.
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: And then the story, I mean, well, there was there
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: was nine tops at my at my door. So I
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: was trying to I was trying to run, and uh yeah,
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: I thought I was I thought I was Spider Man,
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: you know. And luckily, I mean I I had I
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: put my foot on a laundry event. That's what kept
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: me from falling ten stories down. And I was naked
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: as well.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: At that point.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's it's a crazy story.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Well, before I ask my last question, Scott, I want
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: you to tell listeners where they can get your book,
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: where they can see the movie.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so the book, you get a heart autographed copy
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: of the hardcover at scottspeezio dot com. You can get
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: an Amazon, Bornes and Noble wherever books are sold.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: The movie.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Will be airing in eighteen theaters around Central Illinois area
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: and St. Louis area on September tenth, that night of
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: September tenth, and then it'll be on Rediscover TV streaming
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: for a while. We're also trying to get it to
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: MLB Network and they've shown some incredible interests with it.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: Hopefully we won't have a work stoppage, but if we do,
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: they're going to be looking for content.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: They'll have this on a loops.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I wanted to end with a quote you
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: gave USA Today a couple of weeks ago, and they
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: ended their their story with this. It says, you know,
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: I had millions and millions of dollars at one time
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: in my life. I had everything. Now I don't even
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: have a credit card. But you know what, after everything
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: I've been through, I could live in a cardboard box
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: and be happy.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: I mean that.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: I was just hoping maybe you could just elaborate a
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: little on what sort of fuels those feelings right now. Gratitude.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: You hear it a lot in twelve step programs. I'm
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: sure I have a hunch that gratitude is fueling your
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: life right now.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm grateful for every second, even sometimes the
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: hard stuff. The FAM's been, FAM's been to my cardboard box.
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: It's not I mean, it's definitely nothing fa fancy, you know,
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: and I'm cool with that. You know, I've had the
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: huge houses, the gigantic condos, you know, the seven cars,
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: the BMW's Mercedes, the you know, the the sixty sixty
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: nine Camaro and corvettes and stuff like that, and really
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: all that stuff owned me.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: I didn't really own it, you know.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: It was somebody who always wanted to borrow one of them,
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: and I'd have to get oil changes or the tires fixed,
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: or you know, pay for pay taxes on stuff.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: And now life is much simpler.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: I really I really cherished the simple things, you know,
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: like uh, taking my son fishing, or getting to lift
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: with with my my older two boys, or or going
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: out for pizza.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: I told my dad the other day, I said, you know,
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: like going out to eat is kind of like my
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: vacations now. And he goes, you sound like an old person.
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: He says, you sound like an old person.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: But that's it, man, that you know, I'm like getting
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: when somebody sends me a text now that says, hey, man,
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: I got I just wanted to know I got thirty
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: days sober a day. That's like it just made my
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: hair stand up like that. That's the same feeling I
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: got when I hit the home run in the World Series.
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: You know, it's there's just nothing like that to know that.
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: Or somebody says, man, hey, you help me save my marriage,
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: Like I stayed with my wife because of your story
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: where you were out at our place and Morris and
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: you were you were trying to make that decision. Like
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: that's the stuff that that fuels me today. And I
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: think that's and then you know my faith also, you
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: know that that gives me true joy. You know you're
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: not happy every day, but I have true joy, and
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: you know I'm so grateful for that.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: All right, well, Scots Spizio, we really appreciate you joining
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: us today. We're so happy you found recovery and have
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: been willing to share your story. Remember the book. The
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: movie's coming out in September. It looks outstanding, Scott Speedio,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: World Series Hero, biggest home run in Angel's history. We'll
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: never forget that. Speaking of goosebumps, still get them every
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: time I watch that clip and when Reggie Sanders have
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: caught that ball, if he didn't run into the wall.
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: No way, no way.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: I think that wall surprised him though, look kind of
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: like a taser. Maybe you came up on.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: Him, really, I think so too, Man, I was super happy.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: I think I think Ay tripped him up man for sure.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: Thanks again for joining us Scott really appreciate it. Please
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: like and subscribe and we will see you next time
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: on Halo Territory.