Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season One, Episode 15: Chvrch ov the Worm Part 1: Thinning the Herd

Transcript

Season One, Episode 15: Chvrch ov the Worm Part 1: Thinning the Herd · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

• 0:01
  Greeting Scum and welcome to Foil to the face.
• 0:04
  My name is Cannibal Chris, of course, and I'm going to be our
• 0:06
  GM again as we jump into a new adventure.
• 0:09
  We are going to be getting into Church of the Worm from JDC
• 0:12
  Perry and well, you'll see how it goes I guess.
• 0:15
  Hi, I'm Levi. I play.
• 0:17
  Pee Wee. That's.
• 0:19
  Your neighborhood friendly creepy guy, whatever he is.
• 0:24
  I'm Thomas and I'm playing wee men.
• 0:26
  I'm Kevin and I'm playing gruno. And I'm Jake, and I'm playing
• 0:30
  Todd Ward, and I'm also a Merck Borg addict.
• 0:34
  Hi Jade. Hi, Jade calling you out dude.
• 0:42
  Well, it's him too. It's all of.
• 0:44
  Us and I'm Nate and I play Screech.
• 0:46
  Hi, Nate. Hi, Nate.
• 0:49
  All right, let's Layla. Got any cookies back?
• 1:17
  So the five of you, Pee Wee, Weemut, Gruno, Todd, Word, Now
• 1:22
  Skeletal and Screech, along with your entourage that consists of
• 1:25
  Gouldad, Klotzpund and now Paul Troon, but also a donkey, I
• 1:29
  believe, pulling the court. An OX.
• 1:31
  An OX. Wait, wait, no, that it was.
• 1:34
  There's Kabot Spoon and also the thing pulling the cart.
• 1:36
  There was an OX and a Bison. Okay, there Bison is the Quarter
• 1:39
  Pounder. Quarter Pounder.
• 1:40
  They're not the same. Nope.
• 1:41
  And I feel like you're going to offend all the bisons and oxen.
• 1:44
  Listen, we have a whole family this.
• 1:45
  Is a family. Trip It kind of is.
• 1:47
  It always is. So the gates of the city of
• 1:50
  Sleshvig are about 1/4 mile from the ground that your feet now
• 1:53
  walk. You finally made it after the
• 1:55
  last oh what, 8 days or something?
• 1:58
  Or it was it was less than it was supposed to be.
• 2:00
  I know that I think it was 7. But the dark grows darker and
• 2:03
  the torchlight grows brighter as the day turns to night and you
• 2:07
  see a cloaked, hooded figure walking in your direction from
• 2:11
  Sleshvig. As the figure gets closer, you
• 2:13
  see a familiar long white beard billowing from within the cloak.
• 2:17
  I grip my crossbow. Hey, hey, hold on now.
• 2:20
  I bet you were expecting. Well, me probably.
• 2:25
  But you made it. Well, you guys did.
• 2:27
  Wait, who's that guy and that guy?
• 2:29
  Replacements. From.
• 2:30
  No, it's still me. Fucking.
• 2:34
  Oh, you too. Wait, have we met?
• 2:36
  Yeah, we. Have.
• 2:36
  It's Todd Word. Yeah yo, now I I ween it.
• 2:40
  Oh, you're Ween. Oh yeah, yeah.
• 2:41
  Well, the crossbow was a good indicator, and it's pointed at
• 2:44
  me as usual. No.
• 2:45
  Anyway, I'm honestly no. I'm kind of taken aback by the
• 2:48
  fact you actually made it, and I'm glad.
• 2:50
  But yeah, just talked. Anyway, I did a little Recon
• 2:53
  around. You remember I was talking about
• 2:54
  some worm cultists up around here?
• 2:56
  Remember that? Do you?
• 2:59
  Yeah, no, we do. It's just there's a difference
• 3:02
  between remembering and just not caring.
• 3:05
  That's fair. That's fair.
• 3:06
  Like, I thought, maybe care about it, he.
• 3:08
  Holds over a a scroll to wean it because he knows wean it more
• 3:14
  and maybe it'll get him to let off on the cross.
• 3:19
  Yeah, I I set the crossbow sling off to my side and yeah, I
• 3:24
  grabbed the scroll. OK.
• 3:25
  Do you read it? Yeah.
• 3:26
  OK. You unroll it and it's a wanted
• 3:28
  poster and it's it's a picture of like a dude who's clearly a
• 3:31
  cultist, just by the robe and the the creepiness.
• 3:33
  Yeah. And the you see that he's this
• 3:35
  drawing of him is brown stained around the mouth and it says
• 3:39
  wanted shit eating called this Oh my God, yeah and it says
• 3:44
  bring the head of whoever's responsible.
• 3:47
  It wouldn't say King Fong with the 9th right.
• 3:49
  However, it just is King, and then it's just like a bunch of
• 3:52
  letters that looks like someone else took over and didn't know
• 3:55
  how to write. Like curl murdered the man
• 3:57
  writing the poster and then started.
• 3:59
  Yeah, that looks like that could have happened for sure, yeah.
• 4:02
  All right, yeah, we met is reads that and then like kind of holds
• 4:07
  the the scroll next to the old guy and just like comparing the
• 4:12
  picture. It's not me.
• 4:14
  Smell like shit. So I'm.
• 4:16
  It's just it's good to you. What's the price?
• 4:19
  You You. What's the coinage on this
• 4:22
  poster? It doesn't say, but you know
• 4:23
  it's the king, so probably not as much as you're thinking.
• 4:26
  Honestly, no, but but but I know a little bit of something that
• 4:33
  you might not like. I'm wet with anticipation.
• 4:36
  It's this. He opens up his robe and there's
• 4:38
  a lot more scrolls in it. Oh yeah, as you do that, you do.
• 4:42
  Realize and that you're taken aback by the fact yeah he is he
• 4:45
  did just bear all oh cool, you know, open his robes.
• 4:49
  Yeah, I I I start to draw my crossbow again.
• 4:52
  Pay attention to the wrong things here.
• 4:53
  It's the scrolls. Not that.
• 4:56
  Yeah, he hands them out. I don't know if you got the
• 4:58
  right ones, but let's take a look.
• 5:00
  What? OK, what's mine say?
• 5:03
  You unroll and it says wanted, and it's a picture of Screech
• 5:07
  and it says Doctor. And then it's like it does a
• 5:10
  bunch of the same kind of scribbling again, Doctor, Yeah.
• 5:13
  I keep looking at the poster and then just my eyes shift to the
• 5:16
  left and look at. Screech.
• 5:19
  And I kind of squint this doesn't make sense.
• 5:22
  It says wanted dead I'm. Gonna roll that poster back up.
• 5:25
  I don't get to see it. No, I'm going to.
• 5:27
  Wow, great. Thanks.
• 5:28
  Just fucking have a gun to the back of my head without me
• 5:30
  knowing it. Thanks, Todd.
• 5:33
  We're. We're.
• 5:34
  Best buds? Yeah.
• 5:36
  It always, it always was. So you're not going to tell me
• 5:38
  that there's going to potentially be people out for my
• 5:41
  fucking life? Sorry, I for whatever.
• 5:43
  Reason I open the scroll that I. Thought this was the only.
• 5:45
  One I don't know why, it's a picture of of of Pee Wee and it
• 5:51
  says wanted dead. For what?
• 5:53
  No reason. It's ripped off on the bottom
• 5:55
  where it's like it would have said it says four and then that
• 5:58
  part's missing. Convenience.
• 6:01
  I just throw it. Open my scroll.
• 6:03
  You open your scroll. Yeah, I'll open mine.
• 6:05
  You open your scroll and it says wanted dead and it's a picture
• 6:09
  of somebody that you've never met before.
• 6:11
  Oh no. And the name again, it's just a
• 6:14
  bunch of nonsense. I open mine.
• 6:16
  What's the picture look like? It looks like a dude in robes
• 6:19
  that almost looks like it sort of looks like Vincent d'onofrio
• 6:23
  and Men in Black. Race.
• 6:25
  What the fuck? OK, like the skin is just, like,
• 6:30
  not on, right? You remember that part when,
• 6:33
  like, the alien thing takes over?
• 6:35
  Yeah. Yeah, he's wearing a skin suit.
• 6:37
  Exactly. Or he's wearing an Ed suit.
• 6:39
  Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.
• 6:40
  Good. What's on my What's?
• 6:42
  On yours scroll, you open it up and it says wanted dead.
• 6:45
  And it's a picture of a skeleton.
• 6:47
  It doesn't have a name, but the skeleton is a full body photo
• 6:50
  and you see that he's got these, like, anal beads.
• 6:52
  I mean rosary and eyeballs and eyeballs, yeah.
• 6:54
  I want to do that for me. Does it say for what?
• 6:57
  It doesn't. So does anyone want to share
• 7:00
  what their scrolls are? Any magical things or?
• 7:04
  I threw mine down. No, I I turn it and show it to
• 7:07
  everybody. Oh yeah, you.
• 7:08
  He handed you a second one there.
• 7:09
  Weemut as well. And yeah, different than the
• 7:12
  one. So in addition to the shit
• 7:14
  eater, yeah, it's got this. And that one shows a a picture
• 7:18
  of of it says wanted dead and it shows a picture of Todd word,
• 7:22
  but it doesn't realize he's a skeleton.
• 7:23
  Obviously. It shows him as you knew him
• 7:26
  previously. None of these are of gruno.
• 7:28
  He's the safest of them. No, none of them are of gruno.
• 7:31
  Well, Todd, word. And I'm, I'm actually going to
• 7:34
  show him this one. Looks like you're safe.
• 7:36
  Go fuck yourself. What?
• 7:38
  You've got the best disguise right now.
• 7:40
  You don't understand. My livelihood was in that skin.
• 7:47
  Shut up, Screech. Yeah, How's that working out for
• 7:50
  you? Got to be honest, if if your
• 7:53
  looks is all you had going for you, no wonder your career
• 7:56
  wasn't taking off. Not just the looks, half half of
• 8:02
  soul you'll never understand. Is there any way to fix this?
• 8:07
  That's what I'm saying. I think if you can deal with
• 8:10
  this shit eater cult thing and maybe they'll pardon these the
• 8:14
  big maybe. But I talked to some people who
• 8:16
  said. That worried about being killed.
• 8:18
  I want my skin. Oh, Nope.
• 8:22
  And the skin everywhere. Like, not everywhere.
• 8:25
  But I mean, you know, you can find it.
• 8:26
  Don't. Don't worry, we'll find you some
• 8:28
  skin. Oh God.
• 8:31
  Yeah, it's me. I still can't get used to that
• 8:35
  guy's voice. No, it's terrible.
• 8:37
  Trust me, it takes a little bit to get used to.
• 8:40
  I'm going to hold my squirrel out like in front of women.
• 8:42
  It's like, does this guy look familiar to you?
• 8:44
  He does. It's Rundle.
• 8:47
  Did You Know? Damn, we should have kept his
• 8:52
  body. It's not like any of you could
• 8:54
  turn him in like you're all wanted.
• 8:57
  Who's going to turn it in? I don't know what I did.
• 9:01
  I don't know. I don't see my face on any of
• 9:03
  these pictures, so I think I'm pretty good.
• 9:05
  Well, maybe he's in one of these and he.
• 9:06
  Opens up the other side of his robe, right?
• 9:09
  And he grows even more than he had before.
• 9:12
  Yeah, there's a lot of people the one who did.
• 9:14
  The left side hangs lower. I hold.
• 9:17
  I hold my hands out like. These pipes are clean.
• 9:20
  I don't. I don't have A1 poster.
• 9:25
  Fuck all y'all. Yeah, that's true.
• 9:28
  He doesn't. That's true.
• 9:29
  He doesn't. That's he.
• 9:31
  So in order to take care of the posters and The Wanted status,
• 9:36
  kill who? Well, if you can find these
• 9:39
  cultists, which I know where I I've been doing some Recon.
• 9:42
  I found some. Are they in the sewers?
• 9:44
  No, although maybe but but I didn't think of that they.
• 9:48
  Do each hit. Big either way, no.
• 9:50
  I figured. If you can find out where they
• 9:54
  are, where they, where they do their whatever it is that
• 9:57
  they're doing, yeah, probably. But it's more than that, though.
• 10:00
  There's something else doing. It's kind of like clogging
• 10:03
  things up around here. If you haven't noticed, it
• 10:05
  already smells like shit. Well, I I could have been any
• 10:08
  one of us to be. Honest.
• 10:08
  I mean, I've always just assumed that's what happens when we get
• 10:11
  to every city. Yep, that's actually probably
• 10:14
  true. OK, OK.
• 10:16
  But if you could find these dudes, find out where their shit
• 10:19
  happens and, you know, kill whoever's involved, whoever's
• 10:23
  responsible, and turn that head into the king, maybe we can.
• 10:30
  I talked to what is it, Marshall?
• 10:32
  I really don't know. What he was the warden?
• 10:34
  Yeah, that sounds right. And he said that this kind of
• 10:38
  thing is the how you generally how you get pardoned.
• 10:42
  It's like a one for one thing, maybe a 2 for one thing,
• 10:45
  depending on how you look at it, I guess.
• 10:47
  Either way. So, so, so we deal with the shit
• 10:49
  eater and get one of us pardoned.
• 10:51
  We're city workers unplugging the sewage.
• 10:55
  Yeah, Public works. Yeah.
• 10:57
  In a way, it's like outsourcing. No, that's a great point.
• 11:02
  What if it's all of you, I guess?
• 11:04
  What if it's all of you I? Guess we're a scab crew.
• 11:07
  Yeah, yeah, kind of. Well, you I I found out where
• 11:11
  they kind of pop up a couple places.
• 11:13
  I've seen them. All right.
• 11:15
  The picked pocket. The pig's what?
• 11:17
  The picked pocket it's. A pig's pocket.
• 11:20
  Picked. You know like yours might be
• 11:23
  when you walk in. Yeah, it's a little shitty bar
• 11:27
  they hand out, they hand out. They hang out there sometimes
• 11:31
  night soil Street. Where the dung farmers live.
• 11:34
  The dung farmers shit farmers you know about to keep
• 11:37
  explaining it. They they live there.
• 11:38
  Yeah. No, it's you know they they
• 11:40
  smell like shit. More than you know, usual than
• 11:43
  than you usually run into. They're not really allowed to
• 11:46
  live with the rest of the citizens in Schleswig, so they
• 11:49
  live in a nice oil St. occasionally.
• 11:52
  I've seen cultists, the shit eaters pop up there also,
• 11:56
  whatever his name is, the king, his Privy.
• 11:59
  I've seen some walk out of there before, just shit eating grin
• 12:03
  and the stable yards. They get kind of desperate
• 12:06
  sometimes and I've seen him there eating horse dung.
• 12:09
  You know straight from the source or.
• 12:11
  Yeah, some. Well, you know, I saw him Crouch
• 12:13
  down on the ground behind the horse and I saw him get kicked
• 12:15
  in the head, OK. And that seems gratuitous.
• 12:19
  Yeah, a lot of shit. I'm a little uncomfortable.
• 12:21
  Well, just wait till you Yeah, just wait.
• 12:24
  All right. So we got to find the guy Munch
• 12:26
  in the box. Got it.
• 12:28
  Well, if you want to go down to the horse stables, you go right
• 12:30
  ahead. I was considering checking out
• 12:34
  probably just, you know, the the farmers themselves.
• 12:38
  What do you think? But I think, you know, you're an
• 12:41
  entertainer. Maybe we go to the picked
• 12:44
  pocket. I can't entertain without the
• 12:46
  other half of me. Well, more like 2/3.
• 12:49
  Screech is right there. I look, yeah, I do.
• 12:52
  I look. I look at Screech although.
• 12:54
  Paul Troon, who is there, just kind of like dances, obviously.
• 12:58
  Like he wants you to notice. Like he's potentially there too.
• 13:02
  Oh God, he's so quiet I forgot about him.
• 13:04
  Look, you've got a traveling troop already.
• 13:07
  I'm going to take my hand and rub it through my where my chin
• 13:11
  should be, but then it's just bone, so I my beard.
• 13:15
  Is gone. It is still a chin bone.
• 13:16
  It's a bone. I'm going to like, pull on my
• 13:18
  beard hair. It's gone.
• 13:20
  Paltrun is also doing. That all right?
• 13:22
  I I changed my vote. You've swayed me.
• 13:25
  I I would like to go to the bar. Great.
• 13:29
  All right, old guy, what direction is the bar in?
• 13:34
  Yeah, that way in town. We're not even in town yet.
• 13:38
  Somewhere in there it's been finded.
• 13:39
  Nice Oil Street is an immediate right.
• 13:41
  When you get in, you'll notice the smell.
• 13:43
  Head that way. The pickpocket is at the other
• 13:45
  end of it. Great, thanks.
• 13:47
  And I'm going to try and shoot him with the crossbow again.
• 13:50
  OK, give me. And I realize that when you do
• 13:52
  this, I don't know if I ever called the presence test, but
• 13:53
  we're going to do it this time. And we did.
• 13:56
  Last time we're. Going to call it year 10
• 13:58
  because, you know, seems pretty damn easy.
• 14:01
  That that's a natural one. That's a natural one.
• 14:03
  I love. I love that you're bad at this.
• 14:05
  Me too. You're like, you're like real
• 14:08
  quickly just loaded. Oh, it was loaded.
• 14:10
  You just real quickly jerk reaction like hip fire at Adam.
• 14:13
  But like as you do that, the bolt comes off of its cradle and
• 14:17
  as the as the string, you know, throws it, it throws it kind of
• 14:20
  upward and it's like it goes straight up and it kind of
• 14:23
  disappears into the night. But you hear it kind of and
• 14:29
  everybody. No.
• 14:31
  Yeah, since I realize it's one bolt and I'm having everybody do
• 14:36
  it, we already top how many people are here.
• 14:38
  There are five party members. There are 4 NPCS.
• 14:43
  Technically, here, that's nine. And and oh.
• 14:45
  Roll AD 9. Yeah, Well, yeah, Roll AD 10,
• 14:48
  Thomas, you guys get fired off if it's a 10/10 is nobody pick.
• 14:52
  Yeah, 10 is nobody, 10 is. No.
• 14:54
  It's a natural one. Somebody gets hit.
• 14:56
  I I was going to say I got a I got a one on the D10.
• 14:59
  A1, the one on the D 10, So that's I'm going to call that.
• 15:02
  I mean that's only because we go in the order that I go in, You
• 15:04
  know what I mean? The left is law because you
• 15:06
  know, it applies everywhere. Come on now, I apologize but.
• 15:10
  Run a fucking agility test. Yes, run an agility test.
• 15:13
  We're going to call that. You said you're just standing
• 15:15
  there or like, yo, is anybody really aware of what's
• 15:18
  happening? To be fair, we'll call it a
• 15:20
  normal agility test. OK.
• 15:24
  This is going to be fucking hilarious.
• 15:26
  I have a -2 two agility. Oh my God, you guys have no idea
• 15:30
  how amazing this is going to be. Oh.
• 15:33
  My God, that's a 16th. Yeah, it's a 16th.
• 15:36
  Just a reminder, I have one HP. Yeah, I have one HP.
• 15:42
  So that crossbow also breaks. The string snaps from this whole
• 15:46
  weirdly jerky reaction, right? No.
• 15:48
  And that crossbow bolt lands completely straight down between
• 15:51
  Pee Wee's feet, like if it would have been like another
• 15:54
  millimeter closer to him, it would have thought out the end
• 15:57
  of his nose. I'm already so close to death.
• 15:59
  What the fuck, Skeleton? Why did you do that?
• 16:05
  Oh my God, we'll never make it into town.
• 16:07
  Yep not. At this rate.
• 16:09
  Or you can go just tend the maggot gardens with the attitude
• 16:12
  like that. Look, I really don't want to
• 16:14
  talk about the smell of my bones right now, OK?
• 16:17
  Look, I tried the bleaching in the lake and it didn't do
• 16:19
  anything. I couldn't get the smell of rot
• 16:21
  out. Yeah, but that was a lake of
• 16:23
  shit too, so I don't know why you did that.
• 16:25
  I. Didn't know a lot of.
• 16:27
  Backed up and I'm going to start walking towards the town.
• 16:30
  Fuck all of you. Fuck you too.
• 16:32
  I'll see you later. Yeah, fuck up.
• 16:34
  I'll see you later, stranger. I thought my existence was an
• 16:38
  unending nightmare of unparalleled scope.
• 16:40
  I. Love the street planes.
• 16:44
  They're just so I'm going to yeah, I'll just grab the bolt
• 16:47
  out of the ground as well. OK.
• 16:49
  I find the new strolling it. You guys, as you guys get closer
• 16:52
  to the gate and you expect this, but you see that there are two
• 16:55
  guards standing at the gate. The portcullis is down as usual.
• 16:59
  I want to get better. You want to get better?
• 17:00
  Hey, you know what? That's a fantastic idea.
• 17:03
  I did say a couple episodes ago that if you guys survived this,
• 17:07
  the two that didn't get better will get better, right?
• 17:09
  Yep. I get better too.
• 17:10
  And we'll get Bruno. You came in.
• 17:11
  What on the last? Episode just like Pee Wee.
• 17:14
  Just like Pee Wee. OK, that's not enough.
• 17:15
  Yeah, same with Pee Wee. OK, fair enough.
• 17:17
  That's sad. Weman also did this too.
• 17:20
  Though Lefty would have been so powerful.
• 17:22
  I would, I would have assumed like since I got better at the
• 17:26
  very end of the last. You did a Dukerk.
• 17:29
  Didn't really. Count.
• 17:30
  OK, so at this point. Every other type of skip.
• 17:33
  Yeah, that. Works OK, so you So yeah, for
• 17:34
  sure. Toddward and Screech both will
• 17:37
  get better. Or at least attempt to.
• 17:38
  And I guess the next time we'll do that, is that the end of
• 17:41
  Church of the Worm? We'll see who these people are
• 17:43
  still alive. There'll be a point, I feel like
• 17:45
  when we're through it, where when we cut it off, you know,
• 17:48
  like anyone who's coming in now won't in this adventure, you
• 17:50
  know? So it's not going to be for a
• 17:52
  couple episodes, I feel, because we can probably hit this one for
• 17:54
  a. Few We need a Squad Wipe.
• 17:56
  No. Maybe we actually.
• 17:58
  That would be very weird and I yeah.
• 18:01
  That's the misery. I like it.
• 18:02
  We'll see what happens. Either way, let's let's get you
• 18:05
  guys better. Oh God.
• 18:08
  OK, so here's my problem. I want to get better.
• 18:10
  Yep, But I don't want to fuck up my ability scores.
• 18:13
  Yeah, I'm a heroic feat. But I don't want to become a
• 18:15
  murderer, hey? So let's.
• 18:17
  Like, like like like an unintentional murder.
• 18:20
  I want my murderers to be intentional.
• 18:22
  You have a one in 36 chance of that being the case though,
• 18:24
  yeah? Are there more on heroic feats?
• 18:27
  There's there's a lot of cool 66.
• 18:29
  Lot of no. I mean like a, a, a.
• 18:31
  Another variant from that one. Maybe the more more of them,
• 18:35
  yeah, from somewhere else. I don't, actually.
• 18:36
  Are there third party ones? I gotta.
• 18:38
  I like to think I I. Would imagine there probably is.
• 18:41
  It's just where they are, yeah. On your character?
• 18:44
  On your character? Is it like character abilities
• 18:46
  that you could just pick a second one?
• 18:47
  That's a great point. I bring that.
• 18:49
  Up. I did that with Melville.
• 18:50
  I remember now. I mean, it was just a thing that
• 18:52
  we had gotten into because people got so far along, you
• 18:55
  know, here's. The thing too like what is our
• 18:57
  protocol? Because I know that we like to
• 18:59
  like swap out some options sometimes, so I think what we've
• 19:02
  been doing is we always do the HP increase always, regardless
• 19:05
  of pick. But you have the opportunity of
• 19:07
  upping your abilities, or picking an unheroic feat or
• 19:10
  modifying a class, modifying or gaining class abilities
• 19:13
  depending on the class you guys do with that.
• 19:15
  I mean, that's like, those are the that's pretty much the full
• 19:18
  range of options. Oh dude, we did it.
• 19:20
  We we did it with. Both Melville and Rumba too.
• 19:22
  I remember a. Different show though, no?
• 19:24
  No, no, I know. But like, like like there was
• 19:27
  just kind of like it became kind of like standard of how we did
• 19:30
  things there. And it was like the longer that
• 19:32
  people survive in here, the more the less opportunities they get
• 19:36
  to do newer, cooler things otherwise, you know?
• 19:39
  Yeah, without the addition of those weird third party rules we
• 19:42
  come up with. So do you have that class?
• 19:45
  Yeah, yeah, I can find it. Okay.
• 19:47
  Then we use the destitute Thesbian too, right?
• 19:49
  I mean, he does. I.
• 19:50
  Know what I want? You do okay.
• 19:53
  We'll check this is to you first, then.
• 19:56
  So obviously, what's your current Max HP 66?
• 20:00
  OK, you can't possibly roll under it, so just give AD 6 and
• 20:03
  that's your new additional perfect one.
• 20:05
  You know what 7? OK, I found it.
• 20:10
  And then what do you want? Do you want your abilities?
• 20:12
  Do you want unheroic feat or do you want a class ability?
• 20:14
  Give me an unheroic feat. Sir, I was hoping you'd say
• 20:18
  that. I was hoping you'd you didn't
• 20:21
  want me to say that. OK.
• 20:23
  Still watching a lot of The Office.
• 20:25
  Sorry, I rolled my HP. I got a six.
• 20:27
  Oh, OK, cool. Oh, you fucking animal.
• 20:30
  Oh, you had five. So, yeah, you couldn't.
• 20:32
  Don't worry about the 6010. OK, So give me AD 66.
• 20:35
  There, Jake. OK, let me get I got a 26.
• 20:40
  Faithful visions Oh God, the Fates steer your journey across
• 20:44
  the dying world. One can only hope they lead to
• 20:46
  redemption, not destruction. Consume an omen and spend a few
• 20:50
  moments in quiet meditation. Ask a GMA question pertaining to
• 20:54
  the current situation. You will be granted A bizarre
• 20:56
  vision that provides enlightening information.
• 20:59
  GM rolls the D4IN secret? Well, I never do that on A1.
• 21:04
  The vision is deceptive. Okay.
• 21:05
  Well, how's it do that? I just start bringing dice to.
• 21:09
  This nice or borrow dice from us.
• 21:10
  No, I'm just gonna bring a single D4 cuz it's all you ever
• 21:12
  need now. Okay.
• 21:14
  So that's you. Also, there is a whole finding
• 21:16
  new things, right? Oh yeah?
• 21:19
  What did you find in your coat pocket?
• 21:21
  All right, I got my smoking jacket.
• 21:23
  Actually, yes. Oh, are you the skeleton in a
• 21:24
  smoking jacket? Yes, I like it.
• 21:27
  So there are 6 abilities for the Narcomancer.
• 21:30
  Yes, OK. Which one do you currently have?
• 21:31
  I have the third one tripping balls.
• 21:34
  Ah, that makes sense. OK, so then I guess OK, So what?
• 21:37
  Read that one first before we can do.
• 21:38
  Something the effects of that shroom must have lasted for a
• 21:41
  while. You see things that aren't
• 21:43
  there. You also find things that
• 21:45
  weren't there. Once per day, you pull a magical
• 21:47
  artifact from a seemingly no This item turns to shimmering
• 21:50
  dust when a new item appears. OK.
• 21:52
  So roll AD 6, and if you get that one again, we'll modify it,
• 21:56
  improve it. Oh God.
• 21:57
  Is that OK? OK, sure.
• 21:59
  You'll figure it out maybe two a day or something.
• 22:01
  One What the hell, my surgic brain?
• 22:05
  OK, oh, you may spend an omen to regenerate your daily powers.
• 22:09
  Oh, OK Oh. I mean do.
• 22:12
  You spend your powers on your flail thing.
• 22:13
  Yeah, and it really like I have. Ohh and Scrolls are just useless
• 22:17
  in our entire campaign now. You know what?
• 22:19
  They just do not exist. No, fuck that.
• 22:22
  Fuck. I'll omen that role.
• 22:23
  You're gonna open the role. Why not?
• 22:24
  Why not? Yeah, fuck it one again,
• 22:26
  motherfucker. Useless shit.
• 22:30
  Can I spite? All I'll be able to, I'll be
• 22:32
  able to really wear. That's not really spiteful using
• 22:35
  it. I'll be able to, I'll be able to
• 22:37
  change the flail I use seven times a day now and then spend
• 22:41
  an omen and do it another seven times.
• 22:42
  Only do it once a day. I mean, maybe.
• 22:45
  I think that's what it said. Once a day you can do that.
• 22:47
  And he was going to do a case. How about this then?
• 22:49
  Instead, he says, that's worthless for you.
• 22:51
  Wait. Oh yeah.
• 22:52
  Once per day. OK.
• 22:53
  So that's what the misery did to us, though.
• 22:55
  That's kind of true. That's how it works, baby.
• 22:57
  That's true. True.
• 22:58
  OK, Yeah. Fuck it.
• 22:59
  We'll see that. All right.
• 23:00
  It's Mark Board. It doesn't have to be good.
• 23:02
  I'm a. Lawyer.
• 23:03
  It just has. I only follow the law.
• 23:07
  So yeah, the entourage here, of who he's yet to be determined, I
• 23:12
  suppose, approaches the gates and sees, yeah, the portcullis
• 23:15
  is down. There are two of the kings
• 23:18
  guards here, gentlemen. They both walk forward.
• 23:21
  Don't say it. They don't respond.
• 23:23
  They look at your group. I wave and just keep walking
• 23:25
  like I'm going to pass through. One of those pointing out,
• 23:27
  picking off the individual one and he goes the toddler.
• 23:30
  No, no, no, no. Look, I already I understand
• 23:33
  what's happening right now and I'm going to use my twist of the
• 23:36
  arm ability and. OK, no, I'm glad you mentioned
• 23:40
  that. I read that.
• 23:41
  Yes, I read that not too long ago.
• 23:42
  Are doing it wrong. Only only only slightly though
• 23:47
  what it is really? Is that like in a situation
• 23:49
  where like you're doing something like this and I will
• 23:51
  have you do a presence test? If I feel like it's something
• 23:54
  that you would be able to just do based on the fact that you're
• 23:58
  good at this kind of thing, then I could just forgo the role.
• 24:00
  That's all it is. What we've been doing is
• 24:02
  something, I don't even know what we've been doing.
• 24:05
  It's Jake lawyering his way through his abilities to morph
• 24:08
  them. It's fine.
• 24:09
  It's Jake. This is what we do.
• 24:11
  Sounds like something I might have said yesterday.
• 24:14
  Oh really? Oh, that makes it wonderful.
• 24:16
  I'm glad you're self aware. OK.
• 24:20
  That's why I'm always trying to cut him down.
• 24:23
  Because I'm like, you're fucking.
• 24:24
  You're fucking bullshit, Jake. This is this is weak.
• 24:29
  This is weak at best. All right, All right.
• 24:31
  So anyway, I do feel though. OK, well how about this?
• 24:35
  Give me your rhetoric and that's what'll make the determination.
• 24:38
  You know what I mean? I feel like that makes sense
• 24:40
  because so far you just posited. It I I understand.
• 24:43
  This happens all the time. Look, I know we're guess what?
• 24:47
  I am an actor. This is part of my theatre.
• 24:51
  We are here to play a new role in an upcoming play for these
• 24:58
  wanted men. And I pull up my scroll of of
• 25:01
  Screech and I show it to him. These are for us to study.
• 25:05
  We're here to really experience it.
• 25:08
  This is all make up and pretend. Wait, he's not him.
• 25:12
  No, and I'm not me. I'm not Dustin Diamond.
• 25:21
  I love that. That's fucking beautiful.
• 25:22
  What perfect use, dude. I love that.
• 25:24
  So you're actors? Yes, that's what I said.
• 25:27
  All of you. Yes.
• 25:30
  That's what he said in him. That he he literally just said
• 25:33
  that. Yeah, I know you.
• 25:34
  Have to be more specific than just him.
• 25:36
  No, he looks there's a guy that kidnapped some people in town.
• 25:41
  Look. Paul.
• 25:42
  Paul. He.
• 25:42
  Looks he looks OK. He looks just like Pee Wee.
• 25:45
  No. Whatever.
• 25:46
  His name? Did you say People or children?
• 25:53
  People or children? That's what I heard in my head.
• 25:56
  I heard children. And he looks in the cart too,
• 25:59
  sees Gouldad, just waves at him. Hi.
• 26:02
  All right, let him through. Oh, thank you.
• 26:04
  Good. That was you twisting the arm
• 26:06
  and not having to roll because the story is believable.
• 26:10
  Like your actor's in costume. He's like.
• 26:14
  Yeah, I guess. And I I take a slip of parchment
• 26:17
  out and I sign my name on it and then stuff it into his
• 26:20
  breastplate. You.
• 26:21
  Sign. Actually, Todd word Ingrid on
• 26:23
  this. Yeah, but he can find it later,
• 26:25
  like. You grab, you grab the one
• 26:29
  scroll with your image on there, and then you find that.
• 26:31
  I don't want it. But yeah, we've.
• 26:33
  Got mine. It doesn't look.
• 26:37
  Oh yeah, we've been. Has it?
• 26:38
  Yeah. He looks at it.
• 26:40
  Can't read. I figured I'd walk on by.
• 26:43
  The Port Colas gate opens, yeah. And then you let through close
• 26:46
  behind you guys. You look around, you see the
• 26:49
  town is it's a city. Rather it's not busy by any
• 26:53
  means, cuz it's dusk. I mean it's night.
• 26:55
  At this point the few people milling around are either drunk,
• 27:01
  doing something that you probably don't want to get
• 27:02
  involved in, or do you? I don't know, maybe you do.
• 27:06
  Or potentially dead, Not sure. Most businesses that you see
• 27:10
  which look like they've been looted, kind of.
• 27:13
  I mean it looks like everything in this town that you see is
• 27:16
  pretty much bare bones like ramshackle.
• 27:19
  But as you can see down this main drag that leads straight to
• 27:22
  the King's keep about that things closer are in much better
• 27:26
  repair and the the keep itself is pristine, almost not pristine
• 27:30
  but like they they maintain that they clean that.
• 27:33
  However, the smell of shit is very heavy in the air,
• 27:36
  especially as the wind blows from the east and you see you're
• 27:40
  whistling down this dark St. residential St. and it just just
• 27:44
  has this. Whistling through my nasal.
• 27:46
  Cavity. It's bad.
• 27:47
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nasal.
• 27:52
  Yeah, exactly. Smells loud in here.
• 27:56
  Well, gentlemen, proceed to the keep.
• 27:58
  Or would you like to? No, we're supposed to go to the
• 28:02
  end of the the lane to go to the picked pocket.
• 28:04
  I don't think I'm allowed in there.
• 28:06
  Oh, that is true. That's where all my victims
• 28:09
  came. From skinless I cannot enjoy the
• 28:11
  sins of the flesh. All right.
• 28:13
  We'll continue so. Where you headed?
• 28:15
  To the fucking. The fucking.
• 28:17
  Pick. Pocket the pick.
• 28:19
  Pocket So you guys take an immediate right through Knight
• 28:21
  Soil St. as you cross through this street.
• 28:24
  It smells terrible and just it's nauseous in here.
• 28:28
  Like it's it smells so bad that it's just like it's in your
• 28:31
  head. Like you're starting to get kind
• 28:33
  of dizzy from it. Every single person here test
• 28:36
  toughness. I can't smell nothing.
• 28:38
  Fucking skeletons included. Nope.
• 28:42
  For a fucking troop. I feel like you guys can't get
• 28:45
  infected. Correct.
• 28:47
  Yeah, so never mind. Yeah, they can't.
• 28:49
  So yeah, every non skeleton anybody who can get.
• 28:52
  Screeched in the Skellies, yeah. Anybody who can.
• 28:55
  Get back. So who's doing checks for
• 28:57
  Pultroon and Quarter Pounder? How'd you guys do it?
• 29:00
  Yeah, yeah, the two that counts. God damn it.
• 29:02
  I don't own them. Pultroon got a 15.
• 29:05
  OK, he's good. What am I trying to?
• 29:07
  Get you just I just told this to SO 12/17/17 I got a 55 what
• 29:13
  about called klotzpend? 15. 15 Okay, What did you get
• 29:17
  there, peewee? 11. 11 So peewee and gruno,
• 29:22
  oddly enough, both just double over and just vomit profusely on
• 29:27
  the ground around the street here and you're both infected,
• 29:31
  so that's important. Really, guys like you can't just
• 29:34
  keep it together. Smells like my moms house.
• 29:37
  It's terrible. Yeah.
• 29:40
  She's dead. The puke and shit.
• 29:42
  Oh God, she's. Dead.
• 29:46
  Somebody roll me a D4. Anyone on?
• 29:49
  I'll do it. Yeah, go do it 7th, Kevin.
• 29:53
  Stairway to Kevin. 4. Kevin.
• 29:57
  That's my favorite before. Oh, damn the four.
• 30:00
  So you as you guys are vomiting, creating kind of a lot of
• 30:03
  cacophony. It's like projectile like
• 30:04
  vomiting leading into dry heaving.
• 30:06
  So like you know how loud that can get.
• 30:08
  I've seen this. You see people looking out there
• 30:10
  like no glass windows is turn. You know, looking through their
• 30:14
  their hovels. Essentially these are just dog
• 30:15
  farmers, but you hear a cacophony of dog barking from
• 30:19
  around one of these little alley streets.
• 30:21
  Eating onto this nice oster, you see four dogs of pretty good
• 30:25
  side running towards you. By the slick and shaft of Gander
• 30:30
  flask. You're right, Screech.
• 30:32
  We should probably. I don't fucking know what you're
• 30:35
  saying anymore, I think. I think he wants us to run.
• 30:40
  The the dogs are big in skeletal frame, you know, but they look
• 30:45
  emaciated and fucking hungry. They look hungry.
• 30:49
  They'll lick up my shit. What it might Yeah, So give me
• 30:54
  initiative at this point. That's very obvious what their
• 30:57
  intent is. Oh, Jesus Christ.
• 30:59
  I don't want to do it. I hide behind everybody.
• 31:02
  I got to imagine, though, these skeletons mean nothing to these
• 31:04
  dogs. I have a dog.
• 31:06
  No, it's a four. It's a four.
• 31:08
  It's a four. That's you guys.
• 31:10
  So you guys have an opportunity to react to this pack of dogs?
• 31:14
  I blow into my pink Saber and I call my minion things.
• 31:19
  You blow, you can. You can do something with
• 31:21
  animals that has nothing to do with fucking mushroom.
• 31:23
  King Shit. We've gone through this.
• 31:26
  I I want to. They're dogs.
• 31:28
  Yo, if I would have heard somebody say something about a
• 31:30
  Mushroom King, you don't think I would have fucking snagged?
• 31:32
  That way up. That makes sense though.
• 31:34
  Holes in the grip means you can play it like an instrument.
• 31:37
  The lovely tunes have a two in six chance of enchanting
• 31:39
  creature +2 to their reaction role.
• 31:42
  You really? What it would be then is you do
• 31:43
  that. You don't have lips or wind.
• 31:45
  Yeah, but they still do other things.
• 31:47
  He talks. Yeah, we still talk.
• 31:49
  Yeah, there's enough breath, apparently, to play with them
• 31:51
  I'm not going to prevent. Them from doing that sex with a
• 31:53
  human being. I don't know what you're talking
• 31:59
  about A. Human being what?
• 32:02
  Happened. Never mind.
• 32:04
  What happened behind closed doors, friend?
• 32:07
  Oh. Yeah, that's right, you creep.
• 32:11
  That's true. So the way that you if you
• 32:12
  really wanted to play that you'll do your do two and six
• 32:14
  chance, then we'll roll a reaction with that +22.
• 32:18
  I'll fucking I'll give her a try real quick.
• 32:20
  OK, so give me AD 6. Give her a quick blow and a one
• 32:21
  or two. It works.
• 32:23
  I use my omen. You can wait.
• 32:25
  What's my other thing? Do oh vision.
• 32:28
  Wait. How many moments do I have?
• 32:29
  I don't know. It's on you.
• 32:30
  Fuck. You play this real pathetic
• 32:35
  flute and the dogs seem a little more upset.
• 32:40
  Great. I guess between vomiting I'm
• 32:44
  going to pull out my crypt worn crowbar and I'm just going to
• 32:46
  swing at the first one. That or the one that's closest
• 32:48
  to me. OK, so they're they're not quite
• 32:51
  to you, but you can do one of two things In that case I would
• 32:54
  say you can advance to them to kind of run at them and do it or
• 32:57
  wait for them to get to you and do that if you like.
• 32:59
  As I can I'll. Just, I'll pull it out and then
• 33:01
  wait for them to get to me. I'm cool with that.
• 33:02
  Yeah, you do that. I'm gonna run.
• 33:04
  You're gonna run. I'm getting out of.
• 33:05
  Here you're just booking. Yeah.
• 33:08
  OK, that's fine the way you came I obviously.
• 33:11
  They came from where we were they.
• 33:12
  Came. Yeah, they came.
• 33:13
  They're coming at you. So you guys have to like, turn
• 33:15
  around and click if you're running.
• 33:16
  Is there an alleyway to our besides?
• 33:19
  There's plenty of little alleyways, yeah.
• 33:20
  I'm not. OK.
• 33:22
  So I'm wanted for kidnapping people?
• 33:25
  Yes. Yeah.
• 33:26
  Have I been here before then? You live here?
• 33:28
  Probably, yeah. The direction you came, that's.
• 33:30
  On you. Actually that's on you your.
• 33:33
  You've said it already. Yes, I have okay my victims.
• 33:37
  Since I know this place so well, I'm going to shoot down one of
• 33:41
  the alleyways to avoid these dogs.
• 33:43
  I like that a lot. Follow me.
• 33:44
  So just give me a presence test since you know it well.
• 33:47
  We'll call it a Dr. 10. Any elses vision of this man
• 33:50
  getting creepier? I'm surprised that when I said
• 33:53
  kidnapping, he's okay. Yep.
• 33:54
  I do it from there. I don't care.
• 33:57
  It's funny, but it's funny. I'm surprised they found the
• 34:02
  bodies. He just feels like a creepy with
• 34:03
  kidnap people, that's all. Sounds like one too.
• 34:05
  I am a toy maker. Exactly.
• 34:07
  Just all fits. Doesn't look good though.
• 34:10
  Go ahead. Hill boss.
• 34:13
  Well, is that a presence or? Yeah, Year 10 presents just kind
• 34:16
  of navigate your way to your spot where.
• 34:18
  You could. That's the 17.
• 34:19
  Wonderful. Yeah, you you see, you guys all
• 34:21
  see he we just book it down an alleyway.
• 34:23
  He's gone. I grabbed while I'm seeing him.
• 34:25
  He did say come with me. He did.
• 34:28
  I'm. I grabbed Todd Word's Bony arm
• 34:31
  and like, not in that direction. If you can't beat them, arrange
• 34:35
  to have them beaten. And I nod at the other two, and
• 34:37
  then I just fucking try to pull them along with me.
• 34:40
  Oh, that's my next chess piece. Screech speaks the true true
• 34:45
  follow. The true truth.
• 34:47
  So you guys are both running then?
• 34:48
  Oh, you are in your thing. So I got to imagine you told him
• 34:50
  that you ran off, right? Yeah.
• 34:53
  OK. Try to tell me in the right
• 34:55
  direction, but yeah. Bruno's waiting for the dogs to
• 34:57
  come. What about Weeman?
• 34:59
  Weeman looks down at his crossbow with the broken straw.
• 35:02
  And yeah, the plan for retreat sounds really good.
• 35:05
  So. You're running after him too?
• 35:08
  Okay. Wonderful.
• 35:09
  God, come on. Okay.
• 35:11
  So. What about?
• 35:13
  Pultroon Pultroon does the goofy like cartoon run where the doing
• 35:16
  in place when you take off too. Klotzman stands there.
• 35:27
  There's dogs. They're they're as big as him.
• 35:29
  You. Yeah, you.
• 35:30
  No, not quite. I mean, you know.
• 35:32
  Yeah, maybe. Who knows?
• 35:33
  It's a Wolf Pack with and Gouldad.
• 35:35
  You see, as you guys run past the cart, you see Gouldad just
• 35:38
  covers himself with the hide. What do we?
• 35:43
  Have. Dogs like Bones and I.
• 35:45
  Goblad. Oh, you're next to them.
• 35:49
  OK, then. I guess that puts us to them.
• 35:52
  The only people standing here are Klotzbund and the donk on
• 35:56
  the ox with the wagon. They look really hungry.
• 35:59
  And yeah, they do. They do.
• 36:01
  They might want to eat that ox. And then this skeleton who
• 36:04
  probably isn't as appealing as meaty people.
• 36:06
  I just pissed them off. That is true.
• 36:09
  OK, so there are four. In that case, if you add
• 36:12
  yourself to that, there are 4 feasible targets for these
• 36:14
  things and there are those four dogs.
• 36:16
  So let's. Fucking go.
• 36:18
  No, we're going to start with Gruno as he was ready.
• 36:20
  As this dog comes at it, comes within range, you're ready for
• 36:23
  it. Come on.
• 36:23
  Gruno. OK, so.
• 36:26
  Just. Lunging.
• 36:27
  Out of your balls are so give me your normal DR12 strength.
• 36:30
  Here comes that cinema. What 11?
• 36:32
  It's. An 11.
• 36:33
  It's an 11. That's a That's a miss, unless
• 36:35
  you don't want to keep it. We can reduce and hit.
• 36:40
  I'm going to take the miss. You take the miss okay.
• 36:42
  Yeah. Then as it's lunging at you
• 36:45
  because it like, takes a leap, you take this swing, you swing.
• 36:48
  Whoa. Thinking it wasn't going to leap
• 36:50
  right, I got to imagine. And it leaps at you.
• 36:53
  He's bare. Give me an agility test.
• 36:55
  DR12. Okay all for.
• 36:57
  The love of Atlanta. And my agility tests are plus
• 37:02
  four because I've got the plate mail.
• 37:04
  Okay. So then it makes it already 16
• 37:06
  that you gotta try to get. I rolled the two.
• 37:08
  God. Can I omen to save them?
• 37:11
  You can try, for sure you can. Yeah, that's a bad is a bad bet.
• 37:14
  But. I mean, how much HP do you have?
• 37:17
  I got 5. Take a hit.
• 37:19
  I'll save it. I'll save it for when it
• 37:21
  matters. He's got some.
• 37:22
  Heavy armor. That's true.
• 37:23
  Christmas face I don't. Like it?
• 37:26
  These dogs are big. These little dogs.
• 37:32
  Oh no. That's fine.
• 37:36
  All right. So what's the damage?
• 37:38
  OK, so yeah, it wonders that you.
• 37:40
  It sinks in. Give me AD 6 cuz that's the
• 37:43
  damage. Okay, yeah.
• 37:45
  That's. Four, and then it's a D6 for the
• 37:48
  armor. Nice.
• 37:51
  Two. So I take two points of damage,
• 37:53
  not. Bad.
• 37:54
  Yeah. So this dog lunges at you.
• 37:57
  He bites. He manages to kind of get you
• 37:59
  around the chest plate, right? So it's like some of his teeth
• 38:02
  scratched your throat, drawing blood where the rest of them
• 38:04
  kind of catch on on your armor. It the force of it, though,
• 38:07
  pushes you back with him on top of you.
• 38:11
  So that's what you're on your back.
• 38:13
  This dog is on top of you. Butt get the fuck off me.
• 38:16
  Then we'll go with the other PC, then this one angry dog who did
• 38:20
  not like that song at all, who lunges at you as well, teeth
• 38:25
  bared, and he looks like he's not going for like the like, the
• 38:27
  like the throat like he was too. Nice Poochy.
• 38:30
  He's going for the femur. For the bones.
• 38:33
  Yeah, he's going for the bone. So GR12 Agility.
• 38:38
  Before. You taking it?
• 38:39
  I have to. OK, I'll use no one for him.
• 38:41
  You are? Yeah, because I told him to
• 38:43
  leave all. Right.
• 38:44
  That makes so much sense. I was going to ask you how to
• 38:45
  justify it and you already did it.
• 38:46
  Oh. Please 20.
• 38:49
  Hey. That's, that's 17.
• 38:51
  That fucking makes it so. Do you see that this dog is
• 38:53
  coming at your leg? I should really.
• 38:55
  What does tubber do? I should really listen to
• 38:57
  Screech more often. Like Duck, just as he's about to
• 39:00
  guy duck and turn and he he just zips right over my head.
• 39:04
  Nice. That's perfect.
• 39:05
  OK. And then the other two on
• 39:07
  Klotzman and the Ox, I guess, God, they're just big old
• 39:12
  things, right? And they're not very fast.
• 39:14
  And they're both attached to carts as far as I know.
• 39:17
  Or one of them is. The ox is Clotsman is just
• 39:19
  running around. However he could run.
• 39:20
  So I guess Dr. 12 Agility somebody want to just roll it
• 39:23
  for Clotsman. Anybody who did?
• 39:24
  He's my baby boy. Go ahead.
• 39:26
  Yeah, he's my dead baby boy. I got a.
• 39:29
  Name. Oh man, so give me the D6
• 39:33
  damage. We're about to talking to.
• 39:35
  Then the dog leaps and grabs clots and around the throat and
• 39:39
  he's got a real thick bushy, you know mane.
• 39:44
  He's a thick boy. He's a thick boy.
• 39:45
  You see that he there's blood running, but he's just he's dog.
• 39:52
  I keep getting your dogs. I don't forget that, I guess
• 39:54
  doesn't talk a lot. And then somebody want to roll
• 39:56
  Agility for the ox, but we're going to call that ADR 14
• 39:59
  because he's got a cart on him. I do it.
• 40:03
  That's a natural. One, Oh my God, you see this?
• 40:07
  The other dog then leaps at the ox, grabs them by the throat.
• 40:10
  You see the teeth sink into the throat, the blood running out of
• 40:13
  the wounds as the ox's legs go weak and seem kind of go down
• 40:17
  and the dog just eviscerates them.
• 40:20
  Wonderful. I guess that's everybody roll
• 40:22
  initiative. This is going.
• 40:24
  I'm not rolling into. I didn't.
• 40:25
  Expect OK. OK.
• 40:27
  You're. Going to give this to Jake.
• 40:28
  Two. Fuck yeah, right, that one that
• 40:34
  is on top of gruno. OK.
• 40:36
  Goes for another bite at you because it's got you pinned.
• 40:39
  He's going to try to gnash at your face pretty much.
• 40:42
  Go for the go for the throat. So spit in your mouth.
• 40:44
  You are on your names. He's holding you down, so I'm
• 40:47
  going to call that a 14. OK, that's Natural 20.
• 40:52
  The natural 20 OK, so obviously, obviously you succeeded.
• 40:58
  That gives you another opportunity to attack him.
• 41:01
  Tell me about what you do leading up to your actual
• 41:03
  attack. OK, so as he's coming down and
• 41:05
  like like biting at me, I'm going to take my crowbar.
• 41:08
  And as he's taking his head with his mouth open, going to bite, I
• 41:12
  want to shove the crowbar right down his throat and hopefully
• 41:15
  through his head. OK, so give me the strength on
• 41:18
  that. Since he's right the fuck there
• 41:19
  and you got a Nat 20, we're gonna call that a 10.
• 41:22
  Kevin, you need a one liner. Can it be he's kept?
• 41:25
  18 What's that, Kim? I'm sorry.
• 41:29
  As a 15. As a 15.
• 41:30
  Oh yeah, wonderful. That definitely does it.
• 41:31
  So give me the damage, 'cause you're hitting him in the mouth
• 41:33
  with this, I feel like there's gonna be a little additional
• 41:35
  damage bonus to that, right? It's not just OK.
• 41:37
  Well, the crowbar itself, since it it came with the class, it's
• 41:41
  already AD 4 + 1. OK, so.
• 41:44
  Add a + 3 then instead. Five points?
• 41:46
  What's? That add a + 3 then instead.
• 41:48
  So I'm gonna add a + 2 on top of whatever damage it down because
• 41:51
  you're. OK, so.
• 41:51
  Seven points, pretty soft. Seven.
• 41:53
  OK, so yeah, you push, you push your crow, this crowbar into its
• 41:56
  open mouth. You see, like, push through the
• 41:58
  back of its head. You see that the tip of it come
• 42:00
  out the back. And he's kind of, like seizing a
• 42:03
  little bit, like you definitely got him in some some brain
• 42:05
  parts. But he's not dead.
• 42:07
  He's just kind of seasoned. While I have it in there, can I
• 42:10
  just like, push it and roll him off of me so I can stand up?
• 42:14
  Absolutely, Yep. Then I will tell me beautiful
• 42:16
  so. He's kind of having like a
• 42:17
  seizure at the moment because you put a crowbar in his brain.
• 42:21
  Not dead, though. Bad dog.
• 42:24
  Bad. Dog.
• 42:24
  Hey, there's this one liner. That's another that's another
• 42:26
  point of damage. Psychological damage?
• 42:30
  Psychological damage. Oh, that's pretty good.
• 42:32
  But no. So the other one that leaped
• 42:36
  over Todd word just spins around, pretty much sees
• 42:39
  Toddward right there in his face, and makes another leap out
• 42:42
  of this time. This Toddward's kind of in a
• 42:43
  Crouch like I got to imagine like though for the front chin
• 42:46
  bone. What is that?
• 42:47
  The Patella? Your kneecap.
• 42:50
  Connected to my leg bone. It's.
• 42:53
  Either the TBR or the people, I don't remember which, but the
• 42:56
  front leg bone there, he's kind of snatching for that.
• 43:00
  Fucking fuck. It's an 11.
• 43:02
  It's an 11 keeping it. I have to.
• 43:03
  Anyone else making OK cool so give me the D6. 3 So I have a
• 43:10
  thing. You have a thing.
• 43:11
  You have armor. He did two damage.
• 43:14
  I'm not sure how the armor covers the bare leg bone, but
• 43:16
  will allow it. Jacket is lead lined.
• 43:21
  Fair enough. It doesn't deal with the amount
• 43:25
  of damage that it would have done, so it only intake two
• 43:27
  damage, but he did manage. As he snatches that leg, he
• 43:30
  pulls it apart from the rest of your leg, separating it,
• 43:34
  bringing you down. So you're you're not prone,
• 43:38
  you're just kind of down, you know, I guess you're not prone
• 43:40
  in a way. You're on one.
• 43:41
  Knee I really am down. Yeah, I have no skin.
• 43:46
  I get it. The other two, the one fighting
• 43:50
  Clot Spoon, attacks it again. It's it's it kind of.
• 43:52
  You know, it's walked in combat with Clot Spoon.
• 43:56
  Fuck. Get some, Huh. 5D6 damage.
• 43:59
  Damn it. Oh my God, it's a. 6/6 you see
• 44:04
  like it lunges at him again. It gets roughly the same spot,
• 44:07
  kind of probably digging deeper into the wound he already
• 44:09
  created and you see like his eyes, eyes open wider and his
• 44:15
  knees buckle. No, please, He's not dead.
• 44:20
  But he is like he looks like he's going to be.
• 44:22
  He's not a tough. Story Yeah, sure.
• 44:24
  The other dog still kind of fucking with the oxen.
• 44:27
  It's taking it down at this point, and it's eating the ox.
• 44:31
  It's just going ham, going ox, going beef, going beef.
• 44:36
  Either way, it found the beef. It found the beef.
• 44:38
  Yep, that's on you guys. Yeah.
• 44:40
  Can I send my bird to go Peck at some of these dog guys?
• 44:43
  Yeah, Do you need line of sight for that?
• 44:45
  Do you need any kind of it's? Made out of an eyeball.
• 44:47
  No, it's made out of. Is Linus?
• 44:50
  Yeah. So go ahead.
• 44:51
  I like that. Cool.
• 44:52
  How does that work? Again, I don't know.
• 44:54
  I'm not too fucking far away it. Just says HP3.
• 44:57
  It says morale minus attack minus will.
• 45:01
  Not it'll have them. Hold on.
• 45:03
  So. It just seeks out a hidden
• 45:05
  target. I'm going to blow on my flute.
• 45:07
  Yeah, it pretty much calls about something that's hiding.
• 45:09
  Yeah, okay. So it's going to be.
• 45:11
  No, it's useful. For.
• 45:12
  Useless for this scenario. And you're hunting down some
• 45:14
  cultists? It might.
• 45:15
  You can maybe make something. I do have other cool things.
• 45:19
  You guys are hiding like just in some little some little dugout
• 45:22
  area. That's really kind of someone
• 45:24
  the back of someones house. I lived here for three years.
• 45:27
  We're going to die in someone's yard.
• 45:28
  How? How?
• 45:29
  I can't be too far away, can I? You're not too far away.
• 45:32
  No, you. I mean, you are away from the
• 45:34
  from the fray, but you're not too far away.
• 45:37
  Jump back in. Because there's part of me
• 45:39
  that's thinking I might go and toss my flail at the one
• 45:45
  attacking tog word because it has an ability.
• 45:47
  Nope. But I don't need to get.
• 45:49
  I don't need to get a new flail today because it doesn't specify
• 45:51
  that I have to do it every day. It just says that when when when
• 45:56
  when I make a new one or find a new one, the other one goes
• 45:58
  away. That's all it is.
• 45:59
  Yeah. Oh, OK Yeah.
• 46:01
  I've been doing it in a far more painful.
• 46:04
  Yeah, painful way because there's some of them that would
• 46:05
  have been very useful to keep having later on.
• 46:08
  But which one you have It's the it's it's the ball and chain one
• 46:12
  where you can throw it and. It's a bolo one.
• 46:16
  A cannonball and chain, yeah, DA damage or special.
• 46:18
  Instead of testing strength to yield damage, you can test
• 46:20
  presents to wrap the chain around the target, immobilizing
• 46:23
  them for D4 rounds. Beautiful one.
• 46:24
  That's what I'm doing. So you're going to test
• 46:25
  presents? Do it.
• 46:26
  Yep. All right.
• 46:26
  I feel like you're far away enough to or close enough to be
• 46:28
  able to run up and give that a good weapon.
• 46:31
  Yeah. All right, all right.
• 46:32
  Whip it good, damn. It.
• 46:35
  Did you get? There buddy. 7.
• 46:38
  Seven, you whip that thing and it flies into someone's window.
• 46:43
  Screech line. That's a good place for that.
• 46:47
  I don't. Just leave it over there.
• 46:48
  That's the saddest fucking thing I've ever.
• 46:49
  Remember to mock your floors. Okay, that's you.
• 46:56
  I'm gonna blow my. Float you do it again, you have
• 46:59
  the power to spend on it to do it.
• 47:00
  You could take your flute and. Stab more.
• 47:02
  Okay do it. That's what we spend the power
• 47:04
  to do. It What's A5 get me?
• 47:07
  A5 on the two to six, two and six chance he doesn't do it, so.
• 47:10
  Fuck this game I. Quit.
• 47:13
  You blow the same like the next line of that song.
• 47:16
  Like maybe? Like, maybe not.
• 47:17
  Nobody taught me how to play this thing.
• 47:19
  And the dog then drops your leg bone on the ground and it's just
• 47:25
  completely warm. I'm.
• 47:27
  Going to use my movement to grab that.
• 47:29
  Dual bone. I leg bone the one that I need
• 47:31
  to move. That's fair.
• 47:32
  So I think that's why the song is so bad.
• 47:35
  He's like one hand in it, like one hand in this thing.
• 47:37
  I grab his leg. I had to grab your leg bone,
• 47:39
  too. OK, so that's you, 20 my gruno.
• 47:45
  I feel like you're at the heat of things.
• 47:47
  OK, the one that's seizing in front of me, I'm just going to
• 47:49
  take it and I'm going to just come straight down on his back
• 47:52
  and try to snap its back. You OK.
• 47:54
  Thank you. We're going to call that ADR 8.
• 47:59
  He's on the ground and he's seizing, You know what I mean?
• 48:01
  That's two levels down. I'm going to use an omen because
• 48:06
  that was a one. Do that.
• 48:10
  What a murder sode. OK, 16. 16 OK, very good.
• 48:15
  Tell me about it. Just as this dog is just
• 48:18
  seizing, I'm just going to come down with the crowbar and I'm
• 48:21
  just going to snap its back and I'm going to look over at the
• 48:24
  one that was attacking Todd word and do the whole.
• 48:28
  Bring it on, yeah. Bring it.
• 48:30
  OK. The weemut, and I think it's
• 48:32
  just weemut and then PCs. Weemut at this point, this best
• 48:36
  Todd word. He's like, if you're not playing
• 48:37
  around with this, we need to get out of here and just keep going
• 48:40
  you. Could do something else and play
• 48:42
  with your. Beads.
• 48:45
  What about? Pee Wee.
• 48:49
  Can I still see these people? You're probably not from If you
• 48:53
  kept running down alleys, probably not, because you
• 48:55
  probably turned enough corners. And then that's what we do.
• 48:58
  You just keep running kind. Of I'm going to send my bird out
• 49:00
  to try to find this shit eater. OK, what's the bonus it gets?
• 49:03
  He doesn't have one, does it? We'll seek out hidden target.
• 49:06
  See. Got a hidden target.
• 49:07
  Yeah man, that's a class of it. So I'm gonna have you cuz
• 49:09
  there's a protocol that I have finding these dudes, and it's
• 49:12
  like there's a presence test in each area, right?
• 49:15
  What I'll do then we'll have you roll it, but we'll lower the
• 49:18
  doctor for it, right? By like 2 steps.
• 49:20
  Okay. Right.
• 49:21
  So it's a 14 by default. So give me a Doctor 10 presence.
• 49:25
  He's a kid. No, wait, he he knows these
• 49:27
  streets. He's a kidnapper.
• 49:28
  He does this all the time. Let's lawyer him down a little
• 49:31
  bit. You could do it more than, yeah,
• 49:33
  I mean, welcome. I adopted by two points for
• 49:35
  what? He's a prowler.
• 49:36
  Think of what one of those points is for sure.
• 49:38
  Yeah, yeah, I'm a prowler. I had one One reason and two
• 49:41
  results. I know exactly where these shit
• 49:43
  eaters are. So yeah, Dr. 10.
• 49:46
  Holy fuck. Don't you have?
• 49:47
  A. That's a 10.
• 49:50
  God, as you're doing this, you're like, you're running
• 49:54
  around, you're you're you're popping the bird up, you know,
• 49:56
  to like kind of send them out for one of these shit eaters.
• 49:58
  Yeah, that bird. It like, it immediately goes
• 50:02
  into the window, right across the alley from you and you hear
• 50:06
  and then you you see in the window because the bird is
• 50:08
  squawking and stuff that there's just this, this scraggly little
• 50:12
  dude with like ribbed skin and just this brown smear around his
• 50:15
  mouth. I think that's our guy.
• 50:18
  And he just takes off. Starts he's.
• 50:20
  Starting to OK, OK. We are spread that's.
• 50:23
  Everybody except for NPC's Paul Troon.
• 50:27
  You see him, he's with you. He's with he's, he's in the
• 50:30
  running. He's by the way, too.
• 50:32
  He's on the other end of the alley, and he pulls an invisible
• 50:35
  tripwire. Well, he has.
• 50:37
  Sword doesn't mean he pulls that sword and the sword again, just
• 50:41
  and and he gestures to to Pee Wee like he didn't say it, but
• 50:48
  he's like gestures to you. That's the guy.
• 50:50
  And then that's. Him.
• 50:51
  He takes off after him as well and swings this fucking sword.
• 50:58
  Give me his attack role, Pee Wee, since you're there with
• 51:00
  them. Oh, Boise, What's that?
• 51:03
  I'll use my omen. Oh.
• 51:04
  My God, Nope. And just whiff over this thing's
• 51:10
  headed, you turn a Bob and weave.
• 51:11
  It's OK, you'll get him next time.
• 51:13
  Then you hear? So we just like, come here,
• 51:15
  motherfucker. His voice is different all of a
• 51:19
  sudden. Yeah, whatever.
• 51:21
  He's an actor too. Yeah, he's an actor as well.
• 51:23
  He's an actor. Sword anyway.
• 51:24
  Who else is there? Google God.
• 51:26
  Who knows what he's doing. Kvatsvund.
• 51:28
  He's struggling, man. He he he's pretty much, at this
• 51:31
  point, kind of lost his ability to fight death.
• 51:34
  Throws attack him once. He could, Yeah.
• 51:36
  Let's go for that. Yeah.
• 51:37
  He, he's got horns. Bison's have horns, right?
• 51:39
  Yes. I hate.
• 51:40
  So he does go for a quick, like buck with the head.
• 51:44
  Let's go for that. Give me the attack role 13 nice.
• 51:48
  OK, so he give me a damage D12. He's.
• 51:52
  D6 I feel. Like getting gored by a Buffalo
• 51:55
  is definitely going to do some damage, so let's call it a D8
• 51:58
  just for the sake of heavy damage.
• 52:00
  There's an 8, now it's. Someone with the eight sides.
• 52:02
  Well, I. I They were not an 8.
• 52:06
  So, so Klotsman grabs this dog by like his left horn, 'cause I
• 52:12
  pictured this thing on his left all the time.
• 52:13
  He just gores right through the dog's midsection and he whips
• 52:17
  his head back and it throws the dog down the alley.
• 52:20
  It lands on top of one of the houses.
• 52:22
  One of these hovels and you hear it just crashing.
• 52:24
  Through the Oh yeah. And use your I like the
• 52:31
  escalating people. He's always different people.
• 52:34
  Too. We're like The Avengers Crab
• 52:36
  City right now, no? Insurance for these guys?
• 52:38
  No, not at all. That's everybody.
• 52:42
  Oh. Oh, it is let's.
• 52:43
  Have Gruno do us. He's right here in the ship.
• 52:45
  Yeah. Is he real denishative already?
• 52:46
  I can't remember. I have not.
• 52:48
  Should we take a break? I'll take a break.
• 52:50
  Oh yeah. Coming soon to Kickstarter.
• 53:15
  An ancient forest. An ensemble of lost souls.
• 53:19
  A spiteful curse, This place has been desecrated. 10 new classes.
• 53:29
  Even more cursed relics. A forest hex crawl, Hordes of
• 53:34
  withered creatures, and much more.
• 53:58
  Welcome back to Flail to the. Face.
• 54:01
  Oh, I just flailed. To the harder one than usual.
• 54:03
  I flailed. So we have two dogs left in this
• 54:07
  fight. One of them is eating the ox,
• 54:09
  the other one is still meleeing with Todd Word kind of down the
• 54:13
  alley. Pultrun is locked in Mayo, like
• 54:16
  kind of trying to do something with his sword to this shading
• 54:20
  cultist that you guys happen to spy with your little eye.
• 54:23
  Peewee. Bird eye.
• 54:25
  Get that shit, eater? Yeah.
• 54:26
  Eat them and it's initiative. I believe so, yes.
• 54:30
  So anybody who hasn't. Rolled it.
• 54:32
  I do's it. I did it because you said I
• 54:34
  could before and it's before, so we get to go.
• 54:36
  Oh, love it. It's OK.
• 54:42
  It's OK buddy. You can.
• 54:45
  Roll the one. OK.
• 54:47
  So go ahead guys, What do you? Mean we Met's going to start
• 54:51
  following Paul Troon and he's going to try and tackle the Shit
• 54:54
  Eater. Nice.
• 54:56
  Get him from behind. I like it.
• 54:57
  Take him. From the back, yeah.
• 54:59
  They like that he's well, OK, so currently he's not running
• 55:03
  because he's well, He kind of is.
• 55:05
  He's kind of in like a take off, but he's also dodging, you know,
• 55:07
  Paul Troon's hits because he didn't hit him.
• 55:09
  I feel like an agility test to be able to grab him because he's
• 55:13
  in mid run in a way. All right.
• 55:16
  That is an 18. Fuck Damn, you got him right
• 55:19
  around this shitty, yeah? So I'm imagining basically what
• 55:21
  it is, is as he's like dodging pultrunes attack.
• 55:25
  I just like a running and like spear into him.
• 55:28
  I was picking and it's like collapse.
• 55:30
  Yeah, and just. Right into the muck.
• 55:32
  Put like a clank of bones on because he's currently in a
• 55:35
  house. But yeah, probably Muck.
• 55:37
  Yeah, hold. Him down and poke him in the
• 55:39
  eyes. You realize too, as you're in
• 55:40
  this room with him now that he is in like the out room of
• 55:44
  somebody's house. Probably not his and his hands
• 55:48
  are, because his hands are on you now and they are freshly
• 55:51
  shit smeared. But you've got him and he's
• 55:56
  down. What about the rest of you?
• 55:57
  Can that shoot a blow dart into his eyes?
• 56:00
  You have one, Yeah. That's you do.
• 56:01
  Yeah, so my guy walks around with kind of like a cane, but
• 56:05
  it's a blowtark. Gun.
• 56:06
  What is that? What he uses to take down his
• 56:08
  victims? Probably.
• 56:10
  Yeah, it's a blue gun. You're a creep.
• 56:12
  God, he's a creep. Paralyzing agent on it is that.
• 56:15
  The paralyzing. No, if only it did just the D2
• 56:19
  damage. Okay, you're just gonna shoot
• 56:21
  him in the? Eye.
• 56:21
  I'm gonna just hit him in the face with the boat.
• 56:24
  I just shoot him. Okay.
• 56:25
  Go ahead. Yeah, and actually, since he's
• 56:26
  currently grappled by Weemut, it's Dr. Ten.
• 56:31
  However, if it's a low roll, it's gonna hit Weemut.
• 56:36
  Son of a bitch. Chance.
• 56:38
  I'm willing to take. DR10 presence then shoot that.
• 56:41
  That's a low. I used my last home.
• 56:43
  For two damage. Oh yeah, I suppose.
• 56:48
  OK, so we met then Dave, it was only a four actually.
• 56:51
  I was thinking two were lower and so you got a four one
• 56:55
  damage. It doesn't do any damage to We
• 56:56
  Met because it wasn't low enough, the worst.
• 56:58
  He has a shield on his back anyway.
• 57:00
  That's also true. Yeah, there you go.
• 57:01
  OK, so you launched that thing. You're aiming at the cultist,
• 57:03
  but you see, like we met, take him down at that moment, right?
• 57:07
  And instead it just pings off a women's seal and launches into
• 57:10
  the ceiling. At that point, like we.
• 57:12
  I just like face palm onto the shit eater and I'm just like,
• 57:15
  look back. What the?
• 57:17
  Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm out of practice.
• 57:21
  He's like trying to talk to your hand, but also through like the
• 57:24
  the brownie batter consistency shit in his mouth.
• 57:30
  Brownie, I swear. How do I read this adventure?
• 57:33
  I was like, oh, there's so much shit.
• 57:35
  Outside, where there's less shit, but still a lot of shit.
• 57:38
  It's always shit. Screech is going to take his bow
• 57:42
  now that I don't have a flail. I just whipped it into
• 57:44
  somebody's fucking window. Yeah.
• 57:47
  I. Destroyed their kids.
• 57:49
  I got to imagine the scene of their in their house and they're
• 57:51
  just like washing their dishes. They're putting them on this
• 57:54
  shelf and this flails like shoulder dish.
• 57:59
  Flails here. There's like it also took out
• 58:05
  Grandma's urn on the very last. Of shelf, too.
• 58:08
  The person doing the dishes is just coated in their grandma's
• 58:11
  asses. Why is it in the kitchen?
• 58:12
  That's weird. It's in the dining room, which
• 58:15
  is the kitchen and also the living room and also the toilet
• 58:17
  and also the. Yeah, it's not very.
• 58:19
  Big studio apartment. Everything's in one one little
• 58:22
  section. And there's seven people living
• 58:23
  in that house. Well, three of them might be
• 58:25
  dead anyway. Let's get too real.
• 58:27
  It's getting too real. Fuck.
• 58:30
  So you're attending to do what again?
• 58:31
  Sorry, I. Was going to shoot this dog that
• 58:33
  was attacking Todd. You missed.
• 58:35
  Yeah, it was a nine. OK, so again, this place is very
• 58:39
  cramped. It's a very like it's a narrow
• 58:41
  St. This arrow flies past the dog
• 58:44
  and toddward, nearly taking off Toddward's ear if he had one
• 58:47
  anymore it. Just takes out a pass survive.
• 58:50
  No, he just goes into a house and you just hear him so quiet.
• 58:54
  Like I got to always escalate. We're not escalating it for you,
• 59:01
  We're escalating it for everybody around.
• 59:03
  You it's only a nine. Yeah, that's fair.
• 59:05
  So what about the rest of you? Oh.
• 59:07
  Fuck. Oh, I was gonna go and try to
• 59:11
  kick the dog that is attacking Todd.
• 59:14
  Word. You gonna kick him?
• 59:15
  Try to catch him square in the chest.
• 59:16
  Oh yeah, yeah. Go for the rib cage.
• 59:18
  Yeah, And that is, oh, that's an 18.
• 59:22
  Holy fuck. Hell yeah, you're a monster.
• 59:24
  Give me that dumage, Sir. So that's unarmed.
• 59:28
  So it's what D2? Oh yeah, true.
• 59:31
  It's one point of damage. OK, you got him in the ribs.
• 59:33
  You felt one of the ribs crack under your the force of your
• 59:37
  foot and the dog whimpers and kind of missteps a little.
• 59:40
  And then as after that I'm going to look at Todd Ward and tell
• 59:43
  him to go or just kind of like usher him to get out of there.
• 59:46
  Remember, reiterate what you said.
• 59:47
  How did Grill become such a badass?
• 59:53
  And why does he care about Todd word so much?
• 59:56
  Yeah, that's weird. Because they want the dogs.
• 1:00:01
  Want the dogs? Yeah, Don't.
• 1:00:03
  Worry about it. He wants the prison.
• 1:00:08
  The dogs aren't. Carrying pouches.
• 1:00:11
  You know what? Stay, I don't.
• 1:00:13
  Figure it out. We'll figure it out.
• 1:00:15
  All right, as a as a dog gets kicked off of me, I'm going to
• 1:00:19
  stand up and swing this Saber at this dog, OK?
• 1:00:23
  Yeah. Don't hit Gruno's leg, did you?
• 1:00:28
  What'd you get? 3.
• 1:00:30
  Three. OK, Well, I mean, that's a
• 1:00:32
  fumble at least. Yeah.
• 1:00:34
  So you swing and gruno, kicking the dog, kind of put the dog out
• 1:00:38
  of the place that he was in. I had that.
• 1:00:41
  You slice just like the ankle of his jeans or whatever pants he's
• 1:00:46
  wearing. I don't think he's wearing
• 1:00:46
  denim, but maybe he is. Denim.
• 1:00:50
  Yeah, they're Dickies. Oh, very cool.
• 1:00:52
  Got the controversy? Now that I have my bone back.
• 1:00:57
  As a cholo. Standing up, I'm going to
• 1:00:58
  prepare my run for the next turn because I am shit in combat.
• 1:01:03
  Oh, yeah. OK.
• 1:01:04
  So so gruno went, went, yeah. Oh, yeah, we went screech went
• 1:01:10
  toddward, went you, I. Think it's.
• 1:01:12
  Here we go. Wait, I shot the blow dart.
• 1:01:15
  Oh. Yeah.
• 1:01:15
  Yeah. No, you shot the blow dart.
• 1:01:17
  Yep. Yep.
• 1:01:17
  Quarter Pounder. At this point, he's just kind of
• 1:01:21
  laying there huffing like he's labored breathing.
• 1:01:27
  Can you make eye contact with or whatever you?
• 1:01:28
  Have Can you make another death throw?
• 1:01:31
  He's kind of too far away. He's not.
• 1:01:32
  He's not next to all, OK, it's a it's a swag.
• 1:01:35
  It's kind of a narrow place, but he's he's pretty weak.
• 1:01:38
  God, I hope he crawls into a cottage and hides somewhere.
• 1:01:41
  He's not moving at this point. Shit.
• 1:01:44
  And he's alive. He's breathing, but he's labored
• 1:01:46
  and he's bleeding out. You can see it.
• 1:01:47
  Ghoul DoD looks up. No.
• 1:01:50
  He looks up out of the cart, sees the ox.
• 1:01:55
  God girl's back over again. Paul Troon standing there with
• 1:02:01
  reseeds. Slowly and just looks at Weemet
• 1:02:05
  like and puts his hands on his hips like he's been
• 1:02:07
  inconvenienced. And that's them, I guess.
• 1:02:12
  So then it will be the two remaining dogs and the shit
• 1:02:15
  eater. So the dogs.
• 1:02:16
  Oh, there's only one remaining dog.
• 1:02:17
  No, there's two still. Yeah, the ox ox.
• 1:02:20
  The one eating the ox. He continues to do so because
• 1:02:23
  why wouldn't? And the other dog at this point
• 1:02:26
  turns to gruno. Then, seeing as how he's not
• 1:02:29
  really going to get a meal from Todd word, absolutely no.
• 1:02:32
  Just an after an after meal toothpick.
• 1:02:35
  But turns to gruno makes a leap for him.
• 1:02:38
  You see this leap is a bit feeble because of this broken
• 1:02:42
  rib, right? So I'm gonna make it ADR 10 to
• 1:02:45
  avoid the agility test. OK, what's one?
• 1:02:49
  Get me. I will use my omen.
• 1:02:50
  Oh my. It gives you a use of Levi's
• 1:02:53
  Omen. No.
• 1:02:56
  Unfortunately. That's a 12.
• 1:02:58
  OK, very nice. Yep.
• 1:03:01
  So this this thing, it can't quite make it to you because of
• 1:03:04
  it's a falterated step because of the broken rib.
• 1:03:07
  It lands damn near in front of you, though.
• 1:03:09
  Like it. It nipped.
• 1:03:11
  It got close. OK, what a very up and down
• 1:03:14
  sesh. It's a lot of highs and lows.
• 1:03:16
  That's an ish, I think. Nope, It's the shit Eater.
• 1:03:19
  Oh shit eater. The Shit Eater is attempting to
• 1:03:22
  escape from Weemut, so you're going to have to have make a
• 1:03:25
  strength test. Using the piece of truth, this
• 1:03:28
  is rough. Yeah, use your body.
• 1:03:30
  Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and Norman that.
• 1:03:32
  OK. I have a -, 2 strength.
• 1:03:36
  So it makes sense he's a skeleton, not the strongest
• 1:03:39
  muscle definition. That's a four.
• 1:03:41
  That's a four he so slippery and shitty that he got a Wiggles his
• 1:03:46
  way out from under you when it. Attempts to take a man.
• 1:03:49
  Just. God fuck you just.
• 1:03:51
  Like a Big Mac? Yes, now.
• 1:03:54
  No one knows why. Yeah, now.
• 1:03:56
  OK, fucking listen to the bloops I guess.
• 1:03:58
  Name of the episode. Just like a big man.
• 1:04:02
  Not really. Slippery.
• 1:04:04
  OK, we'll think of something now.
• 1:04:05
  It's initiative time. Yeah.
• 1:04:09
  That's one. That's one.
• 1:04:11
  You. Thomas.
• 1:04:11
  So shit boy here takes off out of this house and he just
• 1:04:18
  disappears around the corner and down.
• 1:04:20
  Well, you don't have to worry when he can run away from you
• 1:04:23
  out of this building, potentially through a door
• 1:04:25
  anyway, you know, I'm not entirely sure.
• 1:04:27
  If you're not, you're not entirely sure, either in this
• 1:04:29
  building or if it's a good place.
• 1:04:30
  Either way, disappears. Well, shit.
• 1:04:34
  Don't get up or anything you get.
• 1:04:36
  Them. Be useful?
• 1:04:38
  The other, the dogs, then the one that is eating the ox at
• 1:04:44
  this point starts to like take off away from the kind of
• 1:04:47
  direction that they came from at this point, clearly enough, as
• 1:04:51
  you can see because he threw up in the corpse, you know how dogs
• 1:04:55
  can be dogs, dogs, dogs be dogs. And the one fighting you though
• 1:05:01
  still attempts to nip at your legs at this point because he
• 1:05:05
  down low like that. So, and since that's not going
• 1:05:08
  to affect I guess, his his ribs not going to affect it that
• 1:05:10
  much, we'll call it ADR 12 since he's not leaping.
• 1:05:13
  That's a 2. That's a two.
• 1:05:15
  So give me AD 6 damage, then fuck.
• 1:05:18
  No, no. Please.
• 1:05:21
  That's a six. D4 Armor.
• 1:05:23
  And I've got D6 for the armor, D6 armor that's A1, Grunos dead.
• 1:05:29
  No. Damn it, it's.
• 1:05:31
  Broken. Broken or dead?
• 1:05:34
  -2 So. Gruno, tell me about.
• 1:05:39
  So he eats Uranus. Gruno's walking back, trying to
• 1:05:42
  get some footing in this slippery muddy streets and ends
• 1:05:46
  up slipping, falling on his ass. And Dog takes the opportunity
• 1:05:49
  just to start chomping on Gruno's face, just ripping flesh
• 1:05:54
  and everything side to side, and starts eating his fucking tongue
• 1:05:57
  and his eyeballs and. Oh my God, all the good bits.
• 1:06:01
  The lot's been seized. Not like this.
• 1:06:04
  Not like this, Bruno. All right.
• 1:06:07
  Our turn. Yeah.
• 1:06:08
  Oh God. Our turn.
• 1:06:10
  Oh, your turn. I go pick toddward up, start
• 1:06:13
  fucking dragging him down the alley.
• 1:06:16
  Pick him up, Yeah, He's just bones.
• 1:06:17
  He's bones. He's just bones.
• 1:06:19
  I just witnessed the most horrifying.
• 1:06:22
  I didn't. I was think of seeing Kevin die.
• 1:06:24
  So you can just drag me. You can just drag me.
• 1:06:26
  Me too. Alley.
• 1:06:28
  Yeah, that's exactly what I'll do.
• 1:06:29
  I'll just grab him by the I'll just grab him by the neck and
• 1:06:31
  start dragging him. By the spine.
• 1:06:32
  Yeah, OK, I like it. You pick him up like a
• 1:06:35
  briefcase. That's fine.
• 1:06:36
  I just lay there. Might as well.
• 1:06:38
  Just terrifying. That's what you're doing for
• 1:06:40
  your turn, just accepting it. Yep, that was fucking.
• 1:06:42
  OK, we met. What about you?
• 1:06:47
  Yeah, I'm getting up. I'm running after that that shit
• 1:06:49
  cultist again. OK, you got to imagine he didn't
• 1:06:51
  get far away in the amount of time that it took to, you know,
• 1:06:54
  so far. So what's called agility?
• 1:06:56
  Normal old agility test. That's a 2.
• 1:06:59
  God damn it, get off the show, you.
• 1:07:06
  Take off the way that he went. You look around, he means you
• 1:07:08
  don't see him. Oh yeah, we.
• 1:07:11
  I imagine more like I go flying around the corner where I saw
• 1:07:14
  that he went and I just kept sliding.
• 1:07:17
  Got this? Oh, that's Skeleton.
• 1:07:18
  Oh. God.
• 1:07:19
  Shit is just running around causing chaos.
• 1:07:22
  Just shit bones. Yeah, it's a complex.
• 1:07:28
  And then, I guess, Pee Wee. I'm going to send my bird after
• 1:07:31
  him and then follow my bird. Oh, that's wonderful.
• 1:07:34
  Yeah. OK, Since we had him roll for
• 1:07:36
  that before, he's already found him.
• 1:07:38
  We'll call that Dr. now for that presence test the Dr. 10.
• 1:07:40
  It's kind of keeps getting easier because he didn't go far.
• 1:07:42
  That is a natural time. That time it.
• 1:07:44
  Is your bird flies like you send the bird back out after it and
• 1:07:47
  it just bolts. It's like it's like a heat
• 1:07:49
  seeking missile. He's seeking eyeball and very
• 1:07:52
  gross. And it you hear like you hear
• 1:07:55
  like an impact of like a small thing in a person and you hear a
• 1:07:59
  person go down and again and also like we met, you saw as you
• 1:08:07
  slid and kind of lost your footing you saw this bird go
• 1:08:10
  flying past you and it kind of bolted around another corner.
• 1:08:13
  Do you know where you went? And that leaves just Klotzman
• 1:08:16
  and and Paul Troon does his goofy little taken off after a
• 1:08:22
  little cartoon run off again. He follows the eyeball.
• 1:08:25
  He's kind of right on his heels pretty much or whatever on his
• 1:08:28
  wings. And you hear, because you see
• 1:08:31
  again Wima, you see Paul Troon bust through one of these very
• 1:08:35
  thin walls and go running out to that bird kind of hot on his
• 1:08:38
  wings. And once you hear like the bird
• 1:08:40
  impact the dude and that dude crash, you hear Paul Troon
• 1:08:43
  disappear into that door. You see him disappear into that
• 1:08:44
  door and he crashes down. He just, he doesn't make a
• 1:08:47
  sound, obviously. It's a drop of water.
• 1:08:50
  Just. Hear the sound of the body, but
• 1:08:52
  there's no verbal, you know, confirmation to what happened.
• 1:08:56
  Kvatspund kind of goes. You seem to go to sleep.
• 1:08:59
  You just you weed weep. Not the big.
• 1:09:02
  Sleep I I drug him away and I didn't see it so.
• 1:09:04
  Nobody saw that, actually. Yep.
• 1:09:06
  Yeah. OK.
• 1:09:06
  So not like you. Don't worry about them.
• 1:09:07
  It is like this I. Saw it as the as the alley was
• 1:09:10
  taking over my vision of him. That's true, actually, yeah.
• 1:09:14
  OK then I guess it's really at this point the actual party
• 1:09:18
  proper or who's left rather, is no longer in the street with the
• 1:09:21
  dogs. Yeah, besides the NPCS that I
• 1:09:23
  left behind. So Initiative role again,
• 1:09:26
  because it's really just you guys in the shit cultist us,
• 1:09:29
  that's you guys. Do I make it to the shit
• 1:09:32
  cultist? You launched.
• 1:09:35
  You're trying to run your way there as well.
• 1:09:37
  OK. So you run there, you do.
• 1:09:38
  OK. So actually, you know what?
• 1:09:39
  Since considering what's been happening in the way to that
• 1:09:42
  place where he is, as you see Wemo laying on the ground, you
• 1:09:46
  notice that it's real fucking slippery.
• 1:09:48
  So give me an agility test. We're going to call it a 10
• 1:09:51
  because you realized it. Yeah, wait.
• 1:09:55
  That's a nice nice. You're.
• 1:09:56
  Slipping. The shit.
• 1:09:58
  Yeah, you're slipping the shit land on Weeman's bones.
• 1:10:01
  It kind of hurts. Doesn't do.
• 1:10:02
  Damn. What about the rest of you guys?
• 1:10:05
  What about Weeman, then, at the perfect timing?
• 1:10:07
  I like chaining the people together.
• 1:10:09
  Oh man, try to inside you. Now get out of me.
• 1:10:14
  And just like, push him aside and use him to like basically
• 1:10:18
  stand back up and go running after the the bird.
• 1:10:22
  OK, I like that, you know you yeah, you get back up, take off
• 1:10:26
  down the hall, you see that door that everybody disappeared into
• 1:10:29
  and you see Pultroon laying on top of this cultist who is and
• 1:10:33
  the bird who smashed like splattered against the back of
• 1:10:36
  its head. You can see it's almost like
• 1:10:38
  it's almost an exit wound or like someone threw an egg at it.
• 1:10:41
  It exploded. But you see that the the, the
• 1:10:44
  cult is unconscious, it looks like.
• 1:10:46
  And Paltrude is sitting on his body like, like, proud of, like,
• 1:10:49
  like he just caught himself with like a big game picture, you
• 1:10:52
  know what I mean? Like he's just sitting, like,
• 1:10:53
  like posing next to the deer kind of picture.
• 1:10:56
  He's opening the head up. Yeah, he's holding his head up
• 1:10:59
  like with. A blade to his throat.
• 1:11:03
  Oh, your bird became super fucking useful.
• 1:11:05
  Actually it. Makes sense.
• 1:11:06
  There's not much impact. The fact that you could hear it,
• 1:11:09
  I feel like it's not just like a.
• 1:11:10
  It had three. HP You did it, yeah.
• 1:11:13
  That works. It's fine.
• 1:11:14
  It's funny. Yeah.
• 1:11:16
  So you see that and I feel like you have enough time to kind of
• 1:11:19
  make a decision with what you can do here.
• 1:11:21
  I think overall that I'm just gonna.
• 1:11:25
  Kill. Him turn to let the rest of the
• 1:11:27
  group know. Yeah, we got him now.
• 1:11:30
  Kill that shit, eater. And I like the idea that, like,
• 1:11:33
  half the crew doesn't even know what you're talking about.
• 1:11:35
  Half the crew's dead. No, no.
• 1:11:37
  Well, that's all. Well, no, but I mean, Todd, Word
• 1:11:39
  and Screech probably don't know what you're talking.
• 1:11:41
  About. I bet we're pretty far back
• 1:11:43
  there. Yeah, well, not with that.
• 1:11:44
  But like, you guys were dealing with that.
• 1:11:47
  Yeah, they caught that. So really, it's yeah, just a you
• 1:11:49
  and a Pee Wee. I was going to call them Pepper.
• 1:11:54
  You and Pee Wee know what's going on.
• 1:11:55
  Yeah, we don't even know where those guys are.
• 1:11:56
  I'm drenched in fecal manner. That's their point.
• 1:11:59
  Great. Yeah.
• 1:11:59
  OK. And I'll go over with Pultroon
• 1:12:02
  and I'll use some of my beads and just start to tie him up a
• 1:12:05
  bit. He don't smell any worse than he
• 1:12:07
  does, So now they do. I don't smell it all.
• 1:12:09
  I smell like incense, honestly. Yeah, OK, I like that a lot.
• 1:12:13
  So yeah, you tie up this cultist with your rosary and you
• 1:12:18
  captured him and he looks up at you.
• 1:12:20
  He kind of wakes up as you're doing this.
• 1:12:22
  He looks up at the kind of like, gestures to the back of his head
• 1:12:25
  like. This is looking back in.
• 1:13:15
  Hey everybody, Kevin at the end of the episode.
• 1:13:17
  This episode featured The adventure Church of the Worm by
• 1:13:19
  JVC Perry with Levi playing Pee Wee, the Tormented Toy Maker by
• 1:13:23
  a Reverend Uncle Bastard, Thomas playing We Met the Catacombs,
• 1:13:26
  St. by Makuti, Kevin playing Gruno The Corpse Plunder by
• 1:13:30
  Harkinstone, Jake playing Todd Word, The Destitute Thespian by
• 1:13:33
  Linderon, and Nate playing Screech, The Narcomancer by
• 1:13:36
  Brain Rat. This episode also featured
• 1:13:38
  content from D66 Flails, also by Linderon and 4D20 Swords which
• 1:13:44
  are not plus one by Full Frontal.
• 1:13:45
  Phil Jensen, check out all these cool things in their respective
• 1:13:48
  Exelibrus Morporg entries in the description accompanying this
• 1:13:51
  episode, as well as the Flail The Face episode 15 Companion,
• 1:13:55
  which at this point is a mystery.
• 1:13:57
  And while you're at it, check us out on our social medias, our
• 1:14:00
  Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blue Sky and Thread.
• 1:14:03
  And wherever you listen to podcast, make sure to rate,
• 1:14:07
  review and share with all of your friends so we can get out
• 1:14:10
  there to more people. While we're at it, if you
• 1:14:12
  haven't already, please check out our sister podcast, The
• 1:14:15
  World Standard. And if you like what they're
• 1:14:17
  doing over there, think about joining their Patreon.
• 1:14:19
  It gives you access to their Discord, which you can talk to
• 1:14:22
  us as well because we're on there.
• 1:14:23
  And just for $3 a month you get a Discord access.
• 1:14:26
  With that, thanks for listening and we'll catch you guys next
• 1:14:28
  time. Said, said no lawyer ever.
• 1:14:44
  Fucking loud, Levi Oh. Yeah, baby.
• 1:14:48
  You. Son of.
• 1:14:48
  A super fucking loud, all right? Jesus H Macy.
• 1:14:58
  You want to suck all that teat? Coffee and lots of dark coffee.
• 1:15:07
  Yeah, it's been always it's been on all day, even though the
• 1:15:09
  meeting started an hour ago, anyway.
• 1:15:13
  Why are there always flies here? Are there fly?
• 1:15:16
  Oh, it's from the corpses, naturally.
• 1:15:19
  It's We're in a church. No.
• 1:15:25
  Yeah. Yes it does.
• 1:15:28
  I'm a Kevin. Alright, me taking Kevin are on
• 1:15:29
  one side, They Levi are not. No.
• 1:15:31
  Levi and Thomas are on another. And they said somewhere in the
• 1:15:34
  middle of no, I'm just fucking. Baffled is what I am.
• 1:15:37
  I'm. Where I am though, yeah.
• 1:15:39
  The only slippery food I know of is a Jimmy John's gargantuan.
• 1:15:43
  Oh, that's slippery. Spot is slippery.
• 1:15:45
  Maybe slippery is nothing else. Because there is nothing else is
• 1:15:47
  so. Much Not another there is in the
• 1:15:50
  world of slippery you. I'm sorry, Which?
• 1:15:53
  Is dog. Somebody recorded me talking
• 1:16:04
  about cramming a bunch of meat in my mouth.
• 1:16:06
  Yeah, that too. Got that?
• 1:16:08
  We'll loop it. We'll put a techno beat behind
• 1:16:10
  it. I like a bunch of massive meat.
• 1:16:13
  Just so I can. Rave it in my mouth.
• 1:16:17
  I like a. Bunch of massive meat just so I
• 1:16:19
  can. Rave it in my mouth.
• 1:16:24
  I like a bunch of massive. Meat just so I can rave it in
• 1:16:26
  my. Mouth.
• 1:16:30
  I like a bunch of massive meat. Just so I can.
• 1:16:33
  Rave it in my mouth. I like a bunch of massive meat.
• 1:16:42
  Just so I can. Rave it in my mouth and in my
• 1:16:44
  mouth and in my mouth.