Latest / None of Your Business Podcast / Hasidic Roots to Healthcare Heights with Faygee Morgenshtern

Transcript

Hasidic Roots to Healthcare Heights with Faygee Morgenshtern · None of Your Business Podcast

• 0:00
  I make a very big deal about my birthday.
• 0:01
  My friends know it. Like if I don't get a text from
• 0:03
  you on my birthday, you're off my list.
• 0:06
  You're off my list. Like it's the one.
• 0:07
  Thing that like sorry what? When's your birthday?
• 0:10
  Yeah, you know when my birthday is, do you know?
• 0:11
  Of course. It's July 17th, right, Michael?
• 0:15
  You don't have no idea what your birthday is.
• 0:16
  That's it. We're not friends anymore.
• 0:18
  I. Don't know.
• 0:18
  We have to, we have to have a question about it.
• 0:20
  I built an entire company off of relationships.
• 0:22
  I took the time to get to know and really understand and
• 0:26
  appreciate them and respect them, and I was able to convince
• 0:29
  them to be willing to work for facilities that we were
• 0:32
  servicing. And so I think that had I been a
• 0:34
  guy, I probably could have not built the same relationships.
• 0:41
  None of your business, Oshi, None of your.
• 0:43
  Business Michael, It's the None of Your Business podcast hosted
• 0:47
  by Michael Anoshi. Welcome back everybody to
• 0:51
  another amazing episode of the None of Your Business podcast,
• 0:56
  Bushy. Today is a very, very special
• 0:58
  day, a rainy day, very rainy. The rain weeks been rainy.
• 1:02
  Rain is special, by the way, for many, many reasons.
• 1:04
  You know that, right? So I actually like the rain.
• 1:06
  I thought about it the other day when it was raining.
• 1:08
  I'm like, what do you like to do when it rains?
• 1:10
  Stay, stay indoors. Watch a movie.
• 1:12
  Yeah, read a book. Read a book.
• 1:14
  Good. There are a lot of things that
• 1:15
  you could do in the rain that are enjoyable to do in the rain.
• 1:17
  Watch your plant grow. Yeah, get your baseball game
• 1:21
  cancelled sounds. Like a Husky dish thing to say,
• 1:25
  you know, like oh it's going to grow the fruits and blah blah
• 1:27
  blah like. I think it's just a more of a
• 1:30
  enjoying everything that life has to offer and that's the way
• 1:33
  I try to look at it. Now we are back with another
• 1:36
  amazing episode and I'm excited today because we have my very
• 1:38
  good friend Faggy Morgenstern here with us.
• 1:41
  And Faggy, we'll get to you in a minute.
• 1:43
  But first, I just want to remind everyone that the None of Your
• 1:46
  Business podcast is proudly sponsored by Prime Source.
• 1:48
  Thank you for all our partners and associates and really our
• 1:52
  entire Prime Source family for being behind this wonderful
• 1:54
  objective of, you know, reaching out to our audience and speaking
• 1:58
  about things that, you know, we want to grow with.
• 2:00
  Please don't forget to like, follow and subscribe.
• 2:02
  I must mention it every time because we need your help and in
• 2:07
  order for us to get our voice out there, we need your help in
• 2:10
  liking and following and subscribing.
• 2:12
  Faggy and I have been to probably over a dozen trade
• 2:16
  shows in the past two years alone, and I think I met you
• 2:20
  through PPE. Was it right?
• 2:23
  And when I say PPE, it really triggers something for everyone,
• 2:27
  right? You say PPE and you'll be like,
• 2:30
  what? Pee pee me, pee pee you who?
• 2:32
  Who's right? I heard that from a friend of
• 2:34
  mine when we were involved in the world of PPE.
• 2:36
  But you say the word COVID and it triggers, right?
• 2:40
  You for certain people, certain things, you say the word PPE and
• 2:44
  then it also triggers. So faggy.
• 2:46
  We've spent a lot of time together during that crisis.
• 2:49
  And one thing I remember is we were helping people and that was
• 2:54
  our main objective. And that was something that I
• 2:57
  think resonates with who you are as a person.
• 2:59
  And I'm excited to get to know you.
• 3:01
  And oh, she, I don't think you know Figgy as well as I do.
• 3:03
  No, certainly not, but I know Figgy a little bit.
• 3:05
  We've crossed paths many times. I've seen her at trade shows as
• 3:09
  well and I just learned something for the first time.
• 3:12
  I did not know that you 2 only met during PPE times during
• 3:16
  COVID. I thought you had a relationship
• 3:18
  way past that I. Know, right, It was like we
• 3:20
  connected so well. Our synergy was right there.
• 3:22
  Yeah, Yeah. You guys really have a nice
• 3:25
  synergy between you 2 And while your relationship was fast
• 3:29
  tracked in in only three years, this is like to me.
• 3:32
  I thought it was a dynamic going on for like a dozen years at
• 3:35
  least. Yeah, I know it feels that way
• 3:37
  and it really is because our energies collided immediately.
• 3:40
  We both wanted to help as many people as possible during PPE.
• 3:45
  I think that what we shared in common and the reason, one of
• 3:48
  the reasons why we were so successful over the process of
• 3:51
  doing this is that we put people 1st and we didn't care about
• 3:54
  making money, we cared about helping people.
• 3:56
  It was really true. Like when we first started
• 3:58
  talking, it was like, we just need to get them what they need,
• 4:00
  that's all. Like, and that's really what
• 4:02
  mattered. And it was so enjoyable to be
• 4:04
  able to spend that time with you the way we had.
• 4:06
  No, we had schmoozed like all the time during that time.
• 4:09
  And it was like as if we knew each other for forever, but it
• 4:12
  really we knew each other for a couple of weeks by the time you
• 4:14
  saw us well. And for the record, I actually
• 4:16
  cared a lot about the money. I just want to be straight up
• 4:20
  now. I certainly felt good that I was
• 4:21
  also helping people at the same time.
• 4:24
  But my motive was purely the green.
• 4:26
  And I think a lot of people as well, OK, there was a lot of
• 4:30
  people taking advantage of the situation that was going on in
• 4:34
  COVID in many different ways. A lot of people were really
• 4:36
  taking advantage. I tried not to do that.
• 4:38
  I tried not to be excessive, but you know, it was an opportunity
• 4:42
  for a lot of people to make money.
• 4:44
  A lot of people lost money, a lot of people lost jobs, a lot
• 4:48
  of people lost opportunities. COVID was not a pretty sight
• 4:52
  for, I want to say most of America, for most of America,
• 4:55
  but there were a lot of winners in COVID as well.
• 4:58
  There were a lot of winners. Typically in any type of
• 5:00
  situation, whether it's a tragedy, whether you know it's a
• 5:03
  a world event, a countrywide event, they're always going to
• 5:06
  be winners and losers. Yeah.
• 5:07
  I mean, you lived in Muncie back then, right?
• 5:10
  And then I guess you made enough money to bounce.
• 5:14
  Tell us about that experience. I mean, you had a lot going on
• 5:17
  during PPE. Anything that you want to share?
• 5:19
  No, it was a good to experience to have something happen to that
• 5:22
  extent and where, you know, I used my experience really and my
• 5:26
  connections to really help be able to do something.
• 5:28
  And where it was very out of box, it was really pure luck to
• 5:32
  have done certain things at the timing that we decided to do
• 5:35
  that. And it worked out well for us.
• 5:37
  You know, I got to do it with my husband.
• 5:39
  I never get to work with him. So it was like a short stint of
• 5:42
  three months and where we got to collaborate in a way that's
• 5:46
  different than what our normal days look like.
• 5:48
  And it was really exhilarating in a certain sense, you know, it
• 5:52
  actually, you know, paid the bills, right?
• 5:54
  And that's a big portion of what we did.
• 5:57
  You know, we have 5 kids. So it was important to make sure
• 5:59
  that we had an income that made sense and it was enjoyable to
• 6:03
  have connected with people the way we had during that time more
• 6:05
  than anything else. Like I feel like I created
• 6:08
  certain type of relationships with people during that time.
• 6:10
  And it was like you were able to see the good of people, but you
• 6:13
  also got to see the greed of people.
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  Like people became greedy really quickly.
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  And some of the people that really lost a lot of money were
• 6:19
  people that turned greedy and where they saw that there was
• 6:22
  room for them to make more money on certain things and charge
• 6:25
  more money. And then all of a sudden
• 6:27
  overnight it was like they ordered the KN 90 fives and what
• 6:30
  happened, right? They got stuck with it.
• 6:32
  Do you remember the whole? I remember one thing that we
• 6:34
  did, by the way, is every day at the end of the day, we would
• 6:38
  record. Oh yeah, we how the day was.
• 6:40
  And we have so many videos. Oh.
• 6:42
  My God, I would just pull out my camera and be like, OK, we're
• 6:45
  we're recording this for the future because we're going to
• 6:48
  look back at this and just have so much fun watching it.
• 6:51
  And every once in a while, I'll send some to Michael and be
• 6:52
  like, remember this day. I did not know that you have
• 6:55
  recordings because Michael, you also were extremely dialed in
• 7:01
  during. You couldn't talk to you like
• 7:02
  you were in your own little world.
• 7:05
  You were busy non-stop. Wait, do you still have the
• 7:07
  notebook? I have the notebook.
• 7:08
  I remember the notebooks. And I even have the e-mail from
• 7:11
  many notebooks. Yeah, I even have the e-mail
• 7:12
  from the White House. Are you serious?
• 7:14
  Yep. That we we had a conference call
• 7:16
  with them. Do you remember the house you
• 7:17
  rented? It was just like you set up
• 7:19
  shop, Like legit, I set up. He's like, you show up to this
• 7:22
  address, stop showing up at my house.
• 7:23
  Like this is where we're going. The best part about it was I
• 7:26
  rented a house a few blocks away from me and I, thank God, had
• 7:29
  the ability to employ, I think over a dozen people.
• 7:32
  And whether we made money or not, every week they got a
• 7:34
  paycheck. And it was pretty amazing.
• 7:37
  We had a department for gloves, the department for masks, the
• 7:40
  department for international, and it was a great experience.
• 7:43
  But one of the best experiences. And I think the reason why we
• 7:46
  connected so much is that there was a genius moment that
• 7:49
  occurred with both of us. And I'm going to remind you now
• 7:51
  what it was, is when there was a lack of staffing.
• 7:54
  This goes back to the roots of faggot, what she does for a
• 7:57
  living. Some people, by the way, call
• 7:59
  you the agency mafia. I've heard of people call you
• 8:02
  Staffing Warrior. You're you're.
• 8:05
  Like that title? Very well.
• 8:06
  Just saying you wear everything very well.
• 8:09
  By the way, look at that jewelry.
• 8:10
  That's amazing. How?
• 8:11
  How much are you worth today, by the way?
• 8:12
  Just what you're wearing. Good down payment.
• 8:15
  Down payment. Is that not weighing you down
• 8:18
  like, you know, when you're walking, do you feel that that
• 8:20
  pressure? No, not.
• 8:21
  For all it makes me feel like I did something right, you know?
• 8:24
  I'm curious, why did you decide to like not add a 6th 1?
• 8:27
  And what was your limit that you decide?
• 8:29
  I just talk about the about the bracelet.
• 8:30
  Yeah, got so many braces. Got 5 braces on one hand.
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  She's. Got to even things out.
• 8:34
  So there's got to be some sort of like balance.
• 8:37
  Cool. There's a rhyme and.
• 8:38
  Reason for every I like that idea, by the way.
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  It does the opposite of weighing her down, it actually lifts her
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  up. Yeah, it reminds me of
• 8:43
  everything I've already accomplished and what I want to
• 8:45
  still do. That's amazing.
• 8:47
  I feel like gold in general does that to us.
• 8:49
  Yeah, that's a very interesting ring.
• 8:50
  What is that? This is a Panther.
• 8:52
  Oh, it's a Panther. It's really.
• 8:53
  Cool. Wow, that's what made you get
• 8:56
  that ring specifically. It's different.
• 8:58
  Definitely. It's different, the three
• 9:00
  different goals and like they sort of did a process with it
• 9:03
  and where it ends up camouflaging it.
• 9:05
  Oh wow. And it's a really heavy piece.
• 9:08
  You should feel it. It's a really cool piece.
• 9:10
  It's what's definitely, it's definitely a down payment.
• 9:13
  It it's a really cool piece. Are we?
• 9:16
  Yeah. They only created a certain
• 9:18
  supply of this and only for the US market.
• 9:20
  So it wasn't readily available internationally.
• 9:23
  And because of so few people having it, it's why I wanted it.
• 9:26
  And for all the Ziv fans out there, what watch are you
• 9:28
  wearing? I'm wearing a Rolex Day date
• 9:32
  with chocolate dial. Is that what they're?
• 9:34
  Called beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful.
• 9:35
  And a diamond bezel. Speaking of beautiful, so we
• 9:37
  were in a situation where there was a friend of mine who had a
• 9:42
  challenge, and that is that there were no events happening
• 9:45
  in the entire world. There's no events happening,
• 9:47
  right? So he had waiter services and
• 9:51
  those waiters were trained under him for over a decade and they
• 9:54
  were committed. We're talking about over 100
• 9:58
  waiters that had no jobs and at the same time we're talking to
• 10:01
  each other about the challenges and the pain points that nursing
• 10:04
  homes and assisted living homes were having that they didn't
• 10:07
  have anyone to care for residents.
• 10:09
  They that were lack of staffing. We got these waiters certified.
• 10:14
  We all pitched open a tent. Did you know this?
• 10:16
  We pitched a tent and we had waiters come in every day and
• 10:21
  Faggy herself trained them and got them authorized to be as
• 10:24
  caregiver, temporary caregivers in nursing homes.
• 10:27
  We together were responsible for the placement of over 100 staff
• 10:31
  in nursing homes throughout our area.
• 10:33
  Yeah, it was insane because it was something that the
• 10:36
  regulations allowed for them to not have the standard experience
• 10:39
  that they needed or training. It allowed them to take a
• 10:41
  certain test. And of course, and it allowed us
• 10:44
  to be able to help support facilities locally in a way that
• 10:47
  was very outside the box. And it was kind of cool.
• 10:50
  Yeah, it was really interesting to be able.
• 10:52
  To do that, yeah, Like you took a situation that was very dire
• 10:56
  and you turned it around and threw a pot.
• 10:58
  You actually gave these people potentially a new career path.
• 11:01
  Now maybe, you know, they'll take this seriously and some.
• 11:04
  Stayed. I actually know a few that
• 11:06
  stayed. Yeah, of course, of course.
• 11:07
  Yeah, and now they can actually go maybe and and increase their
• 11:11
  degree and try to become even certified, you know, and this is
• 11:15
  amazing. Wow, wonderful.
• 11:16
  You know, it's great. I just did a LinkedIn Live Today
• 11:17
  talking about sales and I was on with someone named Nathan from a
• 11:20
  ploy and he is their director of sales.
• 11:23
  He's the strategy behind all their sales.
• 11:25
  And what he said to me was if you're only going to do 10 phone
• 11:29
  calls a day, that you're giving yourself a lot of time in
• 11:33
  between each one of those calls for anxiety, right?
• 11:36
  So you know, you're going to make cold calls today, but
• 11:38
  you're going to say, OK, I'm going to call these 10 people
• 11:39
  today. And what you're doing is you're
• 11:41
  filling up your schedule with just so few.
• 11:43
  So in between each call, your anxiety is kicking in.
• 11:45
  And I felt like during PPE, during that world, the reason
• 11:49
  why I had less anxiety while the world was sharing their common
• 11:52
  theme of anxiety is because we were just having hundreds and
• 11:56
  hundreds of people that we were helping throughout the day.
• 11:58
  And we didn't let a minute go by without saying, OK, let's help
• 12:00
  the next person. Of course we made money through
• 12:02
  the process, but. There was so much going on, like
• 12:06
  we probably needed to be reminded to be showered some
• 12:08
  point some of the days because it was like literally we spent
• 12:11
  what, 14-16 hour days sometime and like you had to remind me
• 12:15
  like, OK, I think it's time for you to go home, you know?
• 12:17
  Yeah, we could do an entire episode just about the PPE
• 12:20
  process and Co. And everybody at PPE time was
• 12:23
  either buying or selling like everybody that we knew anybody
• 12:27
  like people that have no relevance to healthcare.
• 12:30
  I know right? That was the.
• 12:31
  Crazy. They were selling something.
• 12:32
  They were selling a mask. They were selling, you know, the
• 12:34
  K9. All of a sudden they knew all
• 12:35
  the guidelines and they knew which.
• 12:38
  Everybody was CBC experts. All of a sudden they knew all
• 12:40
  the protocols and everybody was buying and selling and and
• 12:44
  negotiating and transacting. And then you find out it's a. 14
• 12:48
  year old. In a WhatsApp chat.
• 12:50
  Like what's going on here? Yeah, yeah.
• 12:52
  And all of a sudden, everybody were, you know, millionaires
• 12:54
  and, you know, they had endless amounts of funds to, you know,
• 12:56
  invest and to buy, you know, crazy amounts of stockpiles.
• 13:00
  And by the way, a lot of people got left holding the bag because
• 13:02
  of it. They didn't exactly know what
• 13:03
  they were doing. The proof of funds that we're
• 13:05
  going, Oh my. God, I think that one of the
• 13:07
  things that made us successful is that the first second I would
• 13:09
  pick up the phone. My my instant reaction would be
• 13:12
  is two questions. Number one is, are you a broker
• 13:16
  and #2 is do you have the goods on site?
• 13:18
  Right. Those are the those are the two
• 13:20
  things that made us different is 'cause we were dealing with
• 13:22
  things that hospitals needed product.
• 13:24
  Anyone promises that was coming next week from China.
• 13:26
  Yeah, right. So that that was a very
• 13:29
  fascinating. Do you remember how we had the
• 13:31
  gowns show up and we would try them on see like we we'd have to
• 13:34
  have them pass through tests right ourselves, right we.
• 13:36
  Would they actually understand we had a lab internally?
• 13:38
  Yeah, we. Were you know who really dropped
• 13:41
  the ball during this time? Our government.
• 13:44
  The government did such a poor job in managing this crisis.
• 13:48
  When it came to PPE, you saw first of all, how underprepared
• 13:51
  they were. They were clearly caught off
• 13:53
  guard. They did not have enough
• 13:55
  emergency stockpiles anywhere. But even without the emergency
• 13:59
  stock, they didn't galvanized quick enough.
• 14:01
  They didn't get the cavalry going.
• 14:03
  Like they were almost like deer in headlights is what they were.
• 14:06
  They were confused. They basically have to rely on
• 14:10
  the private sector to get things going.
• 14:12
  And it's only because of the private sector that we survived
• 14:15
  during that time and that we were able to get things, you
• 14:18
  know, circulated and supply was made available.
• 14:21
  And it's just a scary thing to think about that you can't
• 14:23
  ultimately rely on the government.
• 14:25
  Like you cannot rely on them. When when you know, blank hits
• 14:28
  the fan. Are you going to like trust
• 14:32
  yourself and your friends and the people immediately, you
• 14:34
  know, around you or are you going to trust your local
• 14:36
  government, the federal government?
• 14:37
  Absolutely not. What I took away from this is
• 14:40
  that every man for themselves, at the end of the day,
• 14:43
  everybody's got to fend for themselves and everybody's got
• 14:46
  to have a plan. That's where I'm a big fan of
• 14:47
  small government. We don't need the big
• 14:49
  government. We need them just to manage what
• 14:51
  we need them to do, right? The basics, you know, they got
• 14:53
  to collect taxes. We got to circulate the money
• 14:56
  for social programs. I get it, But limited, very
• 14:59
  limited because at the end of the day they don't do as much
• 15:01
  for us. I have to tell you, I went.
• 15:04
  While you're speaking, I'm thinking to myself, even your
• 15:06
  closest of friends, you have to fend for yourself.
• 15:10
  If push comes to shove at the end of the day and you're
• 15:13
  underwater and you have a friend of yours and you're both
• 15:15
  drowning, God forbid you need to step on him to get up and he's
• 15:19
  going to need to step on you to get up.
• 15:21
  And it's a fight till the death, literally.
• 15:23
  So it's like, I feel like that's what everyone went through,
• 15:25
  through that process of feeling. You have really have to fend for
• 15:27
  yourself. You have to make decisions of do
• 15:29
  I get shots? Do I give my children shots?
• 15:31
  Do I, do I have valid ID cards? I mean that was.
• 15:34
  That was insane. Like to have the immunization
• 15:36
  cards to go anywhere. Think about the grocery stores
• 15:38
  in regards to like people hoarding the way they have.
• 15:40
  Like people were really fending just for themselves and not for
• 15:43
  others. What do you do about protecting
• 15:44
  yourself in your house? You know what you I've learned
• 15:47
  so much about you over the past few years.
• 15:50
  I feel like I don't know enough about your personal life, which
• 15:52
  I want to understand more. Like you, you have a family of
• 15:55
  five kids, which I know. I've met your kids.
• 15:57
  Of course I've been to your house.
• 15:59
  Beautiful house. By the way.
• 16:00
  How much are you paying taxes again?
• 16:03
  Oh. Sheesh.
• 16:04
  Enough. Franklin Lake Township, I think
• 16:07
  is what it's called, right? Is it?
• 16:07
  Called Franklin Lakes, NJ. Yeah, it's a beautiful area.
• 16:10
  Is that like right off the Palisades?
• 16:11
  No. No.
• 16:13
  No, no, nothing to do with the Palisades, nothing to do with
• 16:16
  Muncie. But I was just thinking like.
• 16:17
  We're like 30 minutes from Muncie.
• 16:18
  What are you doing at home to protect your family from another
• 16:21
  potential, God forbid, catastrophe?
• 16:24
  Well, first, I have space right now.
• 16:25
  That's the one thing we didn't have in the old house.
• 16:27
  And I'm like, if anything was to, it's why I moved.
• 16:29
  I was like, God forbid they shut us down again.
• 16:31
  Like how am I going to survive in my old apartment like that?
• 16:34
  It would have not worked. It was insane.
• 16:36
  It was like you. Lived in an apartment I.
• 16:37
  Lived in a house, it was a much smaller house.
• 16:39
  It was literally probably a third the size of this house.
• 16:42
  And we had twins right before COVID.
• 16:45
  We had two nannies at the time, so think about how many heads in
• 16:48
  the same household at the same time.
• 16:49
  They hadn't left the entire time when COVID started.
• 16:52
  For the first six months, nobody left the house.
• 16:54
  We were telling them if they left, they weren't allowed to
• 16:57
  come back. And so they just stayed.
• 16:59
  So literally from March through almost the end of the year,
• 17:02
  having two other heads above you like that are just sitting there
• 17:05
  all the time. 2 new babies in the house.
• 17:08
  There was just so much going on that like it just felt like the
• 17:11
  house was so claustrophobic. I was like, we have to move.
• 17:13
  God forbid they should have I'm. Happy that you have the the
• 17:15
  space now, but tell us back up. Tell us, you know, where were
• 17:18
  you born? Where were you raised?
• 17:20
  Where'd you spend most of your childhood life?
• 17:22
  Where were you raised? I don't even know this.
• 17:23
  How? Do you not know this?
• 17:25
  Was it Borough Park? Yes, of course.
• 17:26
  Instead of guessing, let's find out.
• 17:28
  Yes, of course. Well.
• 17:29
  Faggy, tell us your background please.
• 17:31
  Yes, I grew up as a Hasidish girl in Borough Park.
• 17:34
  Stop it. Yes.
• 17:35
  Stop it is I still? I'm pretending to be surprised.
• 17:38
  I knew that. But if somebody would meet you
• 17:39
  for the first time, there would be shock.
• 17:41
  Yes, I agree. Because by the way, you carry
• 17:43
  yourself very, very well in the sense that you're not, I'm not,
• 17:46
  I'm not sure if you're trying to disguise it or not, but the fact
• 17:48
  is somebody talks to you for a few minutes.
• 17:50
  You can't you, you would be very surprised to hear that you grew
• 17:52
  up, Jacita. You don't have an accent.
• 17:54
  You don't hear it in your voice. Obviously your demeanor, like
• 17:58
  it's very interesting that you've clearly moved into the
• 18:01
  next phase. That's a compliment, yeah.
• 18:02
  And I take a lot of pride on like, having gotten to that
• 18:05
  stage and where I was that rebel that like, OK, I'm upset about
• 18:09
  stuff that happened. It was more so experiences that
• 18:11
  got me to this stage and where I have to grow up and become me.
• 18:13
  And it can't just be me based on the version my mom or my
• 18:16
  siblings want me to be. It has to be me for who I want
• 18:19
  to be. Good.
• 18:19
  For you. So where was where did you grow?
• 18:21
  Up I grew up in bar park. I went to up to school like I
• 18:24
  literally went to Hasidic school my entire life like until I got
• 18:28
  married. I got married right out of
• 18:29
  school. I was the first graduate to.
• 18:31
  Get Was your husband also from Hasidic family?
• 18:34
  My ex-husband was from A. State of family, yeah, OK.
• 18:38
  Yeah, so we were two causadas people getting married with each
• 18:40
  other. I was married nine years, the
• 18:42
  first time I've since remarried, have an amazing husband, we've
• 18:47
  got kids together. And yeah, I feel like I've come
• 18:50
  like a whole long way from where I started.
• 18:52
  But I'm very close to my family and they've accepted me for who
• 18:58
  I am. But I am the black sheep.
• 18:59
  I am very different than they are, but it took time for them
• 19:02
  to learn to accept who I've become.
• 19:04
  And when was that? At what point in your life did
• 19:07
  it change for you that you realized, I don't want this
• 19:09
  life, I want something else? Like where were you at that
• 19:12
  point? How old were you and what
• 19:14
  triggered? It's a great question, like what
• 19:15
  you said earlier, like that revelation.
• 19:17
  Yeah, when did you really know that this is what I want to do
• 19:19
  when I'm changing things? Yeah, over the course of my
• 19:22
  first marriage is when, like, things were going a certain way
• 19:25
  and I'm like, I stopped believing.
• 19:26
  And not believing had me feel like I need to believe in
• 19:29
  something else. I need to believe in myself
• 19:31
  first more than anything else. And so I had to start figuring
• 19:34
  out what I believed in, what I liked, what I enjoyed, you know,
• 19:37
  what it is that I wanted to do for my kids and what I wanted to
• 19:40
  represent myself for them more importantly than anybody else.
• 19:43
  And really I was like, this Khasidis lifestyle isn't me.
• 19:47
  They have not been me for a long time.
• 19:49
  But I kept like wearing the garb and outside like we were living
• 19:52
  this religious lifestyle but internally at the house.
• 19:54
  My ex-husband was never religious.
• 19:56
  He would watch Friday night WWE every single week.
• 20:00
  This was something that went on for years.
• 20:02
  But he wore the Hasidic scarp. So behind closed doors nobody
• 20:05
  would know, right? And so, you know, when I started
• 20:08
  changing how I looked, my parents were very much like.
• 20:12
  You must be wrong because you're changing and he's still wearing
• 20:14
  his Hasidish clothes. So whatever you're the problem
• 20:17
  that I must be, you know the issue.
• 20:18
  So it took a while. It took two years for my mom to
• 20:22
  come around and learn to accept who I've become.
• 20:25
  And you know, I hadn't talked to the family for two years, like
• 20:29
  as I was going through that divorce process because they
• 20:31
  didn't agree with it. They felt that it was wrong.
• 20:34
  And my siblings fell in line with it because it's hard to
• 20:38
  have a voice when your parents are specifically adamant that
• 20:42
  I'm wrong, they're right, and that's how it's gonna be.
• 20:44
  Yeah, they were. Judging you and they expect.
• 20:46
  Very much, very much. So to what they want, yeah, It
• 20:49
  wasn't about what you wanted. You were an adult already at
• 20:51
  that point. And what the?
• 20:52
  World will see right so it's not about what they feel like is
• 20:55
  right or wrong, more So what their friends and their
• 20:57
  colleagues and their. Shame.
• 20:58
  They refer you to shame. Yeah.
• 21:00
  And I would be the first one that like.
• 21:02
  It's wrong to get divorced. Is that what you're saying
• 21:04
  'cause? For my mom and her generation,
• 21:05
  it was very much like that. Like how it created a certain
• 21:09
  name that like inflicted shame on the family and she didn't
• 21:12
  want that. She's like, suck it up, make it
• 21:14
  work. And that's it.
• 21:15
  We all do that. Like, why?
• 21:16
  Why are you different? Why do you need to leave?
• 21:18
  Why? Like who said it's OK?
• 21:20
  You know, you want to be different.
• 21:21
  That's why that's not cool. Like you got to do this for your
• 21:24
  kids and you've got like all this going on.
• 21:26
  Why do you feel like you have to do that?
• 21:27
  I only had one sibling that said, you know, whatever you you
• 21:31
  decide to do, I'm backing you, you know, and really it helped,
• 21:35
  you know, motivate me to continue on the path that I
• 21:36
  started. But it was scary.
• 21:38
  It almost like was very intimidating to like want to
• 21:40
  continue to move forward because it was like, it's almost they
• 21:42
  were incentivizing me to stay and where I'm at because that
• 21:45
  fear of having to do this on your own.
• 21:47
  And for two years, it was my sister and my really close
• 21:50
  friends and the people I worked with that really made the
• 21:53
  difference of me feeling like got my support system regardless
• 21:56
  about anybody else. This is how I'm going to do it.
• 21:58
  And we're going to continue on that.
• 22:00
  And it worked out great. You know, it really, you know,
• 22:02
  overall it had changed the relationship that I had with my
• 22:06
  siblings over time. My husband is actually the one
• 22:09
  that helped reengage the relationship with my mom and his
• 22:13
  mom died when when he was 12. So for him, it was important
• 22:16
  that like your mom's still alive.
• 22:19
  I want anything in the world to at least just be able to tell
• 22:22
  her something, right. And so like your mom's still
• 22:24
  alive. Let's let's at least make sure
• 22:25
  she knows how you feel. And so he really was the one
• 22:28
  that made that relationship, you know, evolve into where she's
• 22:32
  very respectful. You know, we've got a very
• 22:35
  different relationship now. I am who I am.
• 22:38
  I'm not going to change for anybody anymore.
• 22:40
  But most importantly, that fear that I had for my mom had
• 22:42
  changed, right? And so as a kid, I was so
• 22:45
  fearful about becoming who I am because what will my mom say?
• 22:48
  Or she's going to yell at me or she's not going to let.
• 22:50
  Heck, my mom was those moms that would like throw out stuff I
• 22:53
  bought because she didn't agree with it.
• 22:55
  And like I'd laugh because back in the day it was like a long
• 22:58
  denim skirt. If only she just like wanted me
• 23:00
  to still wear that denim skirt now more than what I currently
• 23:02
  wear, right? But it was like I was so fearful
• 23:06
  of everything. So I ended up doing things I
• 23:08
  didn't agree to because I was scared of what she'll say, you
• 23:11
  know, versus once I was able to do that without her for two
• 23:14
  years, I'm like, I could do anything at this point.
• 23:17
  I don't need to worry about, you know, her approval anymore.
• 23:20
  I don't need to worry about anything.
• 23:21
  And it really was a game changer in in regards to who I was able
• 23:25
  to become based on that. As a friend, I have to tell you,
• 23:27
  I'm super proud of you for what you, I mean, look at you, you
• 23:30
  turned that emotional weight into gold weight and you do it
• 23:35
  so beautifully. I'm curious what the transition
• 23:38
  was like for you from a financial standpoint.
• 23:39
  I meaning part of the fear is that you're, you don't want to
• 23:42
  do what you want to do because you're scared.
• 23:44
  You don't have the financial capacity.
• 23:46
  So when did you figure that part out that you have a skill that
• 23:49
  you that that you can make money on like?
• 23:52
  So the one thing that I get very passionate about is things that
• 23:55
  I do that I enjoy, I get very passionate about it and I end up
• 23:57
  wanting to learn as much as I can about that.
• 24:00
  And I basically worked for this company, got to have a really
• 24:04
  close relationship with my boss really, you know it.
• 24:08
  It was like being in the right place at the right time and
• 24:11
  different scenarios happening, which allowed me to continue to
• 24:14
  grow. So I started, I learned how to
• 24:16
  like verify a timesheet. It was a home care company and
• 24:19
  everything else I really learned from like just watching how
• 24:21
  people were doing it, asking questions.
• 24:24
  And I, you know, it was upgraded to the director of operations in
• 24:27
  a very short amount of time. And I really got to know
• 24:29
  everything about home care, every single step of that
• 24:32
  process. And I worked that company for 10
• 24:35
  years before I left. And it was amazing.
• 24:37
  It because I was the breadwinner.
• 24:38
  It allowed me to feel much more comfortable about I'm supporting
• 24:42
  him. I I could for sure comfortably
• 24:44
  support myself without him on my books too, right.
• 24:46
  So like for me, it was easier than most other women out there,
• 24:50
  you know, that maybe don't have that financial asset to
• 24:54
  themselves and where it's more so, you know, maybe they have to
• 24:57
  have a two person income in order to make it work or they're
• 25:00
  the stay at home mom. It makes it really difficult to
• 25:02
  be able to have that opportunity to just say, you know what,
• 25:05
  that's it. I'm going to do this.
• 25:06
  And I'll never forget the day I like it was in December.
• 25:10
  I had a holiday party for work, and that's the day that he got
• 25:14
  served. And that face was like the one
• 25:18
  thing that, like, kept me going. Like I knew I did the right
• 25:20
  thing when I saw what he got. He knew he was wrong, you know,
• 25:24
  wouldn't admit it obviously back then, but it was like my first
• 25:28
  step to freedom in a way that I couldn't even explain.
• 25:31
  It was like the best Christmas gift I could have ever asked
• 25:33
  for, you know, like it was just that amazing.
• 25:35
  Or Hanukkah gift. Or Hanukkah gift you know when
• 25:38
  you. Say served.
• 25:39
  You mean the divorce papers? Yeah, the divorce papers, it was
• 25:42
  like. Was he blindsided by it or?
• 25:43
  Yeah, because he never expected it.
• 25:45
  You know, I was the type of wife that kept my mouth fully shut at
• 25:49
  all times. I never show emotions.
• 25:51
  I left it to myself. I was like, he kept saying
• 25:55
  things and it was like I was a punching bag.
• 25:57
  But I just took it and it taught me a skill.
• 25:59
  And what it really taught me is like, you know, how do you learn
• 26:02
  to live with somebody that you're forced to basically live
• 26:05
  with because my mom said I can't come home.
• 26:07
  How do you learn to live with the, you know, verbal abuse that
• 26:11
  somebody can say all the time? And learning how to cope with
• 26:13
  that was really mechanisms that I was able to incorporate in my
• 26:16
  professional life and personal life, you know, in whatever it
• 26:20
  may be in a way that was conducive for me.
• 26:22
  And where, you know, words generally hurt a whole lot.
• 26:25
  And learning how it shouldn't hurt as much or being able to
• 26:28
  make it seem like, oh, he's not really talking to you.
• 26:30
  This is really words. He just has to get out and
• 26:32
  you're just listening. Pretend it's ATV show and that's
• 26:35
  it, right? And so learning how to deal with
• 26:37
  that really helped me learn a skill set that allowed me to
• 26:39
  survive. Wow, good for you, Figgy.
• 26:43
  You know, and I imagine that was very liberating for you the
• 26:46
  first time that you were just focused on you, right?
• 26:50
  You weren't focused on what other people are thinking, be it
• 26:52
  your parents, be it your ex-husband, your community or
• 26:56
  whoever it was. And think of it now where you're
• 27:00
  leading a beautiful life, you have a beautiful family, you
• 27:03
  have a professionally, you're doing very well.
• 27:05
  This could have been potentially non existent had you not made
• 27:10
  that decision and that jump. And this should give really
• 27:14
  inspiration to others who are and, and let's not kid
• 27:17
  ourselves, there's a ton of people that share the same
• 27:21
  story, the same background as you, where they're stuck in
• 27:24
  their mold because that's what's expected.
• 27:26
  And they don't know how to get out of it.
• 27:27
  They just simply don't know how to get out of it.
• 27:29
  And they'll go their whole lifetime, their entire life,
• 27:31
  they'll go not living their best selves because of it.
• 27:34
  And you have a real story to share.
• 27:37
  And a lot of people can take a page out of your book and follow
• 27:41
  the path that you did. And I, I'm not endorsing people,
• 27:44
  you know, to just, you know, give up their lives and start
• 27:46
  new ones. I'm not saying that.
• 27:47
  Just say that there's, you know, don't be afraid to test the
• 27:51
  waters to give yourself a better life.
• 27:53
  Yeah, I agree. And I think what what I see
• 27:55
  happens often is that we're angry.
• 27:57
  So maybe I got out, but now I'm angry.
• 27:59
  And that anger isn't helping you become a better person.
• 28:01
  It's just keeping you in the past.
• 28:03
  So really being able to figure out a way of how do you
• 28:05
  strengthen yourself and where you can cope temporarily short
• 28:09
  term, but more so long term, right?
• 28:11
  And where, what are the things that you can do to help yourself
• 28:14
  really grow into the person that you are now able to become more
• 28:18
  so now that you've got the choices to make for yourself.
• 28:20
  And I feel like I only became the person I am today because of
• 28:24
  all the instances and the experiences I had to go through.
• 28:27
  And so I'm not upset about everything that happened.
• 28:30
  Obviously, it was extremely painful going through all these
• 28:32
  things. But from now, from hindsight,
• 28:34
  like I'm like, I could have never become me, right?
• 28:36
  And, you know, being in a world where, you know, when I first
• 28:39
  started in healthcare, like it was scary for me.
• 28:42
  You know, I had opportunities that, you know, friends and
• 28:45
  colleagues helped me get to stages in, in where I'm at right
• 28:48
  now. And I'm really grateful for
• 28:50
  everything that they've done to help me get there, you know, but
• 28:53
  it was scary. I'd never worked in a nursing
• 28:55
  home. I had experienced, you know,
• 28:56
  working in home care and I was really good about what I did,
• 29:00
  but I had no inkling about nursing homes until, you know, I
• 29:03
  ended up being lucky enough to get a job with, you know, an
• 29:07
  amazing person that really helped mentor me into where he's
• 29:10
  like, you know, something I don't.
• 29:12
  I know the flip side. Let's work together on really
• 29:14
  doing that. And that's the opportunity I had
• 29:17
  at cyber skilled and it was my first experience really working
• 29:20
  in the nursing home space and I loved it.
• 29:22
  I felt like there's so much that home care can have teach taught
• 29:27
  me, I should say, in a way that most others coming from the
• 29:30
  nursing home side would have never known.
• 29:31
  And you know, when home care I got to know it so well enough
• 29:35
  that like I was the like end all to everything in regards to if
• 29:38
  you couldn't fill a shift. And of course, in home care, if
• 29:41
  I physically didn't get somebody in Michael's house, he wouldn't
• 29:43
  get care, right. And so I had to learn a skill
• 29:46
  and that was building relationships that allowed me to
• 29:49
  be able to convince Ushi say you were ACNA on our team and I'd
• 29:53
  convince you to go to him. And what I built with the people
• 29:57
  was that I got to know them and I saw that it cost nothing.
• 30:01
  I have a great memory, thank God.
• 30:02
  So I'd know you and I know your story.
• 30:05
  I knew where you worked, what days of the week you worked,
• 30:08
  what shifts, what your patient's name was, everything about you.
• 30:11
  And so they would come and pick up their checks and I would
• 30:14
  literally say, hey, uh, she. So how's your mom doing?
• 30:17
  She was sick last week, didn't you know, did she have the
• 30:19
  surgery? And they'd be amazed at how much
• 30:21
  I could remember. And we had over 1500 employees.
• 30:24
  I was doing payroll for payroll for on a weekly basis and
• 30:29
  they're like, whatever you need, just call me.
• 30:31
  Like I know you'll always Remember Me and you'll repay the
• 30:33
  favor. And that's literally how I got
• 30:35
  to make sure that every hour we could have billed for got
• 30:38
  covered by hook or by crook. It didn't matter the day, it
• 30:41
  didn't matter the time. I almost had people arguing that
• 30:44
  they want to do it for me first and I shouldn't call the other
• 30:46
  person. I'd call me rather doesn't
• 30:48
  doesn't matter what, just call me.
• 30:50
  I'll make sure to do it for. You remember the Palm Pilot?
• 30:52
  You guys remember the Palm Pilots?
• 30:54
  Yeah. It's like those that little
• 30:55
  device that you. Well, with the little thingy.
• 30:57
  Yeah, their names and their phone numbers.
• 30:58
  Yeah, the little. One of the first things they had
• 31:00
  other than a name, phone number and address was birthday.
• 31:06
  They actually force you. It was one of their suggestions,
• 31:08
  like put in that person's birthday.
• 31:10
  And I use that a lot and people are amazed at how I remember
• 31:13
  their birthday. I'm like, I don't remember your
• 31:15
  birthday. It's just in my system and it
• 31:17
  reminds me. By the way, regarding birthdays,
• 31:20
  all my friends know when my birthday is.
• 31:22
  I demand it. I make a very big deal about my
• 31:25
  birthday. My friends know it.
• 31:26
  Like if I don't get a text from you on my birthday, you're off
• 31:30
  my list. You're off my list.
• 31:31
  Like it's the one. Thing that like sorry what?
• 31:33
  When's your birthday again? Yeah, you know when my birthday
• 31:35
  is. Do you know of?
• 31:36
  Course, of course, it's July 17th, right?
• 31:38
  Michael, you don't know I. Have no idea when your birthday
• 31:40
  is. Everyone's in my phone.
• 31:42
  What can I tell? You it's not in the pop pilot
• 31:43
  anymore. It transformed from my pop pilot
• 31:46
  to my BlackBerry. Of course.
• 31:48
  My Samsung. That's it.
• 31:49
  We're not friends anymore. I.
• 31:50
  Don't know. We have to, we have to have a
• 31:51
  question about it. I don't believe I have to know
• 31:53
  your birthday by heart. That's like saying you have to
• 31:55
  remember my cell phone number. I don't.
• 31:56
  I don't know. I don't.
• 31:57
  Know it's not the same thing it's not remember the cell phone
• 31:59
  I'm remembering a birthday it's. Not, it's not, But I don't.
• 32:01
  I don't have to remember your birthday.
• 32:02
  I have to write it down. You ever?
• 32:03
  Heard of a movie V for a Vendetta?
• 32:05
  No. You ever heard?
• 32:06
  Of that no Steph, you ever heard of that movie?
• 32:08
  No. Interesting.
• 32:09
  OK, so there was a movie teach us.
• 32:11
  One of the characters in that movie had a, a line that he used
• 32:14
  to say, Remember, Remember the 5th of November?
• 32:18
  That was his line that he used to say, happy to see my birthday
• 32:20
  is November 5th. Oh, really?
• 32:21
  Yeah. So I I use that.
• 32:22
  To make a mental note of this, I must make a mental note.
• 32:25
  Of this. 5th of November Remember.
• 32:26
  Remember the 5th of November? I got that tag line a lot and I
• 32:29
  happened to be I really like celebrating birthdays.
• 32:31
  My family instilled, my parents instilled this announce.
• 32:34
  They always made a big deal about our birthdays and they
• 32:36
  would always birthday party for us.
• 32:38
  We get to invite our friends and you know, they bought pizza or
• 32:41
  whatever they bought, you know, and we did an activity and my
• 32:45
  and my parents didn't have a lot of money growing up, but for
• 32:47
  this they always splurge. Like they made sure that we had
• 32:50
  a good birthday party. And for me growing up now,
• 32:53
  birthdays are a big deal. I have to tell you, I love it.
• 32:55
  I, I gotta be honest with you a big deal.
• 32:56
  I do. I do love that.
• 32:57
  Concept big deal. My wife, for example, she
• 33:00
  doesn't care for birthdays. She was surprised when she
• 33:03
  married me. Like I was making a big deal
• 33:04
  about the first time I had a birthday.
• 33:05
  She was like, what? Coming in with balloons?
• 33:07
  And she was like, why you're so into.
• 33:08
  Yeah, it's funny because I'm coming from the opposite place.
• 33:10
  Like my parents never celebrated our birthdays.
• 33:12
  Like is that a, is that your family thing or I see this thing
• 33:15
  you think? I, I think our family in
• 33:17
  particular didn't do that. I think some of our friends
• 33:19
  didn't. No, some of my friends had
• 33:21
  birthday parties. It's not something that they
• 33:24
  care about and they don't. They don't make a big deal about
• 33:27
  it at all. It's not as big of a deal, I
• 33:29
  agree. I agree.
• 33:29
  Very few of my friends ever celebrated their birthdays.
• 33:32
  It wasn't a big deal. It was like it's just a regular
• 33:34
  day even at school. Nobody's saying happy birthday
• 33:36
  for you or anything. You know, it's a real shame
• 33:37
  because a birthday is more than just a fact.
• 33:39
  That's the way you were born. It's a day that you get to
• 33:41
  celebrate you. It's one day a year that it's
• 33:44
  about you, right? And everybody can have their
• 33:46
  moment. Everybody can have a little
• 33:47
  their space. I make a real nice deal on some
• 33:50
  of the reasons. Having a birthday being
• 33:53
  recognized is one of those things that everybody should
• 33:57
  should instill into their life is to make a big deal about the
• 34:00
  people that you care about at least their your friends, your
• 34:02
  family. Make a big deal about their
• 34:04
  birthday. Give one day they can't have,
• 34:05
  one day that it's all about them, and prop them up and make
• 34:08
  them feel good and say nice things and take them out so they
• 34:11
  can be the center of attention everybody loves.
• 34:13
  That I'm curious, by the way, what happens if you have a
• 34:15
  friend who has the same birthday as you?
• 34:19
  Competition at its highest level.
• 34:21
  Thank God I don't have that. Thank God I don't have that.
• 34:23
  But I I will say that my son has his birthday that he shares with
• 34:28
  a friend of mine. His son and my son have the same
• 34:31
  birthday. So, you know, I feel bad for him
• 34:33
  that he has to share his birthday with somebody else, but
• 34:35
  I would not be able to handle sharing my birthday with another
• 34:38
  person that that at least is directly involved.
• 34:40
  I'm curious if your wife would have had the same birthday, what
• 34:42
  would you have done? That's a tough one.
• 34:43
  That's a tough one that we just celebrate together.
• 34:45
  Or maybe it would. You know what I don't like when
• 34:46
  birthdays fall on like a holiday because then it ends up taking
• 34:49
  away from the birthday. Like I end up celebrating like,
• 34:51
  you know, my kids are are born around Hanukkah and really like
• 34:53
  they end up getting presents for Hanukkah and happens to be it's
• 34:56
  your birthday too. So let's just drummel all in to
• 34:58
  get no. It's unacceptable.
• 34:59
  It's really unfair. It should be separated.
• 35:01
  It's your Hebrew birthday and that that's true, you should get
• 35:04
  2. Options I make a very big deal
• 35:05
  about. Better for you the Hebrew or the
• 35:06
  English. You can do both.
• 35:07
  I have some. Friends that were born on
• 35:09
  September 11th and they really stand it.
• 35:12
  Yeah, it's a whole. Different world for them.
• 35:13
  That's a bad day, yeah, to have a they.
• 35:15
  Didn't plan it. But right, that's a bad My wife
• 35:17
  is a New Year's baby. She's January 1st.
• 35:19
  OK, yeah, January 1st. That's a very nice but.
• 35:22
  Again, you're busy celebrating the new year.
• 35:24
  Right. They missed, they missed the tax
• 35:25
  returns. I feel bad for the parents.
• 35:27
  Yeah, she's just been born like December 31st.
• 35:29
  You know that for new, new babies that are born up to a
• 35:32
  certain hour of the first day, the government gives you like, a
• 35:37
  certain stipend for for diapers, baby wipes.
• 35:40
  Yeah, yeah. The hospital, they, they, they
• 35:43
  filled some paperwork. And as a New Year's baby, the
• 35:47
  government recognizes you as a new citizen.
• 35:50
  You know, you're born in the new year.
• 35:51
  They and they give you a stipend.
• 35:52
  They're trying to make, they're trying to make up for the taxes
• 35:55
  you just missed. Really.
• 35:56
  That's. Exactly, but my wife missed that
• 35:57
  cut off. She wasn't born up to that hour.
• 36:00
  She missed both. You have to be born literally at
• 36:02
  from 12:00, January 1st till like 3 or 4 in the morning.
• 36:05
  You have to be born. If you're born in between that,
• 36:08
  then you you go on record as one of those New Year babies.
• 36:11
  You know, Speaking of babies and birthdays, faggy, you as a
• 36:15
  woman. I want to talk about this for a
• 36:16
  second because Ushi and I had a discussion several podcasts ago
• 36:20
  about the concept of women in the business place.
• 36:23
  And, you know, if there are any struggles that are different
• 36:26
  today than it used to be. Congratulations for everything
• 36:29
  you've done. You've built a fantastic
• 36:31
  organization. You're responsible for how many
• 36:33
  employees? Nearly 30.
• 36:35
  Wow, that's amazing. And you're overseeing employees
• 36:38
  and facilities that's like thousands we're.
• 36:40
  Helping support a bunch of facilities.
• 36:42
  How many employees would you say in that business you're
• 36:44
  overseeing like? Well, we, we help coordinate a
• 36:47
  whole lot of Labor on the agency side for so many facilities.
• 36:50
  At this point, I think we're at a quarter million hours a month
• 36:54
  that we're. Saying what?
• 36:55
  Quarter million hours a month. Quarter of a million.
• 36:57
  Hours being supported. You're managing our.
• 36:59
  Team Wow for our network. That's amazing.
• 37:01
  So look at that. I mean, what you've built, when
• 37:04
  did you feel ever struggle of being a woman in this industry?
• 37:08
  Did you feel it? How did you feel it?
• 37:10
  I'm very curious because you're finally the first woman that we
• 37:13
  actually have on our show since that.
• 37:14
  Discussion we've we've had a discussion about this and we
• 37:16
  have a certain disagreement, a certain difference and I'm
• 37:20
  curious what. You I actually.
• 37:21
  Listen, I want to hear from your mouth.
• 37:22
  I actually listened to the podcast and I found it
• 37:24
  interesting because you were sharing about, you know,
• 37:27
  somebody that's the MBS coordinator or whatever her
• 37:29
  title is and I quoted. From our podcast from four or
• 37:33
  five podcasts ago. First of all, you guys have to
• 37:35
  talk faster. I literally listen to two times
• 37:37
  speed, OK? That's how fast I have to listen
• 37:38
  to things. OK, that's my usual speed, most
• 37:40
  people. But I was listening to it and in
• 37:42
  my fashions that I tend to listen to things most random
• 37:45
  times, and I was thinking about it.
• 37:47
  I was like, you know, I think that some people feel that
• 37:49
  because they're a woman, they feel different.
• 37:51
  I think that because of my experiences, though, I
• 37:53
  segregated myself from a, from that stage when I first came
• 37:56
  into healthcare as different already, because I felt
• 37:59
  different. I already felt like I was much
• 38:02
  stronger than most people because of where I've been.
• 38:04
  You endured a lot. Yeah.
• 38:06
  And so I felt like, you know what?
• 38:07
  Maybe I don't look like a guy, but I dress, you know, in a
• 38:12
  certain way. And I, I wear my pants very
• 38:13
  well. So I'm OK with that.
• 38:15
  And I felt like it's a choice to make if you want to make it feel
• 38:19
  different or not. Yes.
• 38:20
  Was it different at ECAP back in the day and where you would go?
• 38:23
  And there were very few women? Absolutely.
• 38:25
  It felt, you know, like, hey, I would have loved to see more
• 38:28
  women over here. But I think that the few women
• 38:30
  that were coming, we connected well and we continue to show up
• 38:34
  every year. And every year we got to see
• 38:36
  more folks come. And now they've got, you know,
• 38:38
  the, the women of ECAP that they do every year and different
• 38:41
  things. But I think it's, it's a choice
• 38:43
  to make, to decide that, you know, I'm a woman, you're a man,
• 38:46
  and I can't do the same thing. Well, let me phrase it to you
• 38:48
  this way then, because I want to force feed this because I want
• 38:50
  you to really answer this question.
• 38:52
  Do you think you would have been even more successful right now
• 38:57
  had you been a man now? But don't just answer that right
• 39:00
  away. I want you to think about it for
• 39:01
  a second. OK, Imagine if you were, you
• 39:04
  know, not Faggy Morgenstern. Imagine if you were a Maishy
• 39:06
  Morgenstern, OK. And yet all the qualifications
• 39:09
  that you have right now and you know everything that you know,
• 39:11
  do you think you would have been more successful or do you think
• 39:13
  that you maximized even in your situation, being in healthcare
• 39:17
  as a woman, as a, as an orthodox woman, do you think that you
• 39:22
  maximized or were you missing out on something?
• 39:24
  No, I think that from my perspective, we created
• 39:27
  something that was very unique and we piggybacked off something
• 39:30
  that needed to happen. We were servicing a strike and I
• 39:33
  piggyback building my entire company off the concept of how
• 39:36
  we service that strike. And I think that the
• 39:39
  relationship skills that I had really helped drive everything.
• 39:43
  I built an entire company off of relationships, relationships
• 39:46
  with actual providers. These were people.
• 39:48
  I never paid for a penny out of my pocket for these people, but
• 39:52
  these are people that I took the time to get to know and really
• 39:55
  understand and appreciate them and respect them.
• 39:58
  And I was able to convince them to be willing to work for
• 40:01
  facilities that we were servicing at much lower cost
• 40:03
  because they couldn't afford to pay any more.
• 40:05
  And so I think that had I been a guy, I probably could have not
• 40:09
  built the same relationship. It actually served.
• 40:11
  You it actually did. Think that it actually was an
• 40:13
  asset. Think about the amount of Cnas
• 40:15
  and nurses, how many of them are actually women and how many of
• 40:17
  them are men. They're actually more women on
• 40:20
  the clinical side than men. So for me, it worked in the
• 40:22
  favor of I was able to be that really sweet woman that called
• 40:26
  you that asked you to do me a favor, and you had a hard time
• 40:29
  telling me no, I'm very. Convinced turned that totally
• 40:31
  round because we were basically asking did you ever feel like
• 40:34
  victimized in a way that or marginalized because you're a
• 40:37
  woman that maybe you, you, you weren't you're not as successful
• 40:40
  because of us. She's actually saying no, no,
• 40:41
  no, no, no, no. I actually used everything to my
• 40:44
  advantage. And.
• 40:45
  Being a woman that I think I outweighed, had I been a man, I
• 40:49
  think I'd be more. So that's amazing.
• 40:50
  By the way, credit to you, because a lot of people get
• 40:53
  mired and stuck in their victimization, right?
• 40:56
  And they they don't actually ever get out of it.
• 40:58
  And you not only got out of it, but not only overcame it, but
• 41:01
  you actually even excelled. You actually did what you're one
• 41:05
  step up, which is amazing. I'm I'm I'm very impressed.
• 41:08
  Yeah, We started this during COVID and it was literally out
• 41:11
  of necessity that I had to do something to support a strike,
• 41:14
  right? And it really like really
• 41:17
  taught. Explain.
• 41:17
  What that means support a strike because.
• 41:19
  Yeah. So we had we had a relationship
• 41:22
  with an organization that had 11 of their buildings go on strike
• 41:24
  with 10 days notice. So no employees now.
• 41:26
  And pretty much all their Cnas their, you know, dietary
• 41:30
  housekeeping. 10 days in advance?
• 41:31
  Is that a law or? That that's the required notice
• 41:34
  that they generally give for a strike cause so.
• 41:35
  You have to give 10 days notice to go on strike you.
• 41:37
  Can't the union is giving the strike right?
• 41:39
  So the Union law. Protects the operator by at
• 41:42
  least giving them 10 days. Is that a thing?
• 41:43
  Yeah, but you know what? 10 days.
• 41:45
  It's. During COVID, it was the week of
• 41:48
  Thanksgiving. That's when they did that.
• 41:49
  Like, they're so purposeful. Yeah.
• 41:51
  On like, what days of the week? They're choosing to do things
• 41:53
  sometimes. And pretty much I saw how, you
• 41:56
  know, what's the most strategic way to handle a strike would be.
• 41:59
  And because there were 11 facilities in different
• 42:01
  neighborhoods, I was like, I think we need to create, like,
• 42:03
  one hotspot. Everybody shows up to that
• 42:06
  hotspot because it allows me the opportunity A to get to know the
• 42:09
  people and knowing my skill set. It's really good about building
• 42:11
  relationships and memorizing things.
• 42:13
  I know that if I could get them there one day, I could convince
• 42:16
  them to come back as many times as I need to.
• 42:18
  So I literally had the buses that would generally take the
• 42:21
  residents to their doctor's appointments, which obviously
• 42:23
  wasn't happening. It was during like COVID, it was
• 42:26
  in lockdown. Chicago was literally locked
• 42:27
  down when this was all going on and I had these vans waiting for
• 42:31
  the staff to show up, the providers to show up at 5:00 AM
• 42:34
  every single day. So we had two 12 hour shifts and
• 42:37
  everybody came to this Holiday Inn that agreed to have all
• 42:41
  these cars get parked in the back.
• 42:42
  They were at 12% capacity at that time.
• 42:45
  And so they're like, sure, do whatever you have to do.
• 42:47
  We had to wear masks. We couldn't sit in the lobby.
• 42:49
  Their restaurants were closed. The hotel was super shitty.
• 42:52
  I have to tell you, I will never stay in a Holiday Inn again.
• 42:55
  I probably have a terrible case of PTSD on that nights that I
• 42:58
  slept there, but it literally like led me to be able to see
• 43:02
  what I can do with the power of just a damn relationship which
• 43:06
  cost nothing, right? And literally I was passing
• 43:09
  around my phone number, people were calling and texting my
• 43:11
  phone at all hours of the day and I would just take the time
• 43:14
  to respond. I barely ever sleep ever.
• 43:16
  So like for me, this was perfect. 80% of my communication
• 43:19
  was happening on text messaging after that experience with the
• 43:22
  strike and where I was able to convince these people to
• 43:25
  literally help me staff facilities.
• 43:27
  And the cool portion was is that we were able to do this on
• 43:30
  behalf of the facilities at a fraction of the cost of what
• 43:32
  they were paying. And we literally capitalized on
• 43:35
  being able to leverage relationships that I had built
• 43:38
  using agency partners. And the only way we really
• 43:40
  staffed the strike in the 1st place was using personal
• 43:43
  relationships that I had with people like shout out to town
• 43:46
  nursing like Dovey Greisman and his team stepped up in a way
• 43:50
  that was so conducive. You know, Jared from Regional
• 43:53
  Care Network, like these people literally stepped up and came
• 43:55
  into a new state with 10 days notice to help appear.
• 43:59
  These people were getting on the call with me at 4:00 AM.
• 44:01
  Like people on their team were getting off with me at 4:00 AM
• 44:04
  to confirm, don't worry, these people are showing up.
• 44:07
  Heck, the people at like town and, and regional care were
• 44:09
  helping with like coordinating Uber.
• 44:11
  Sometimes if somebody couldn't get to the location to get to
• 44:14
  that hotspot, it was amazing about what they did.
• 44:17
  And it wasn't like I did business with them before we had
• 44:20
  professional relationships. I met these people at trade
• 44:24
  shows. That's where I met them, but I
• 44:26
  called Divvy up and I said, I need your help.
• 44:28
  We have these facilities going on strike.
• 44:30
  Are you willing to help? And he's like, he coordinated a
• 44:32
  meet with his team like these, these things happen at 10:30 at
• 44:35
  night and we're because we had so little notice, we knew we had
• 44:38
  to get things up and running. The team at a ploy helped to
• 44:40
  make sure that they were able to get set up to recruit the staff.
• 44:43
  It was like amazing about how quickly we were able to turn
• 44:46
  things around. 70% of the staff came from just these two
• 44:49
  agencies that were based out of like New York and New Jersey
• 44:52
  roughly for most of their time that that's where they service
• 44:55
  and they came into this new state for me just to help me.
• 44:58
  And it was crazy because none of the locals.
• 45:00
  What did you say? Amazing.
• 45:02
  You know, this is a very daunting task.
• 45:04
  You know, 10 days notice. Oh it is insane.
• 45:06
  You got to actually find people. And this is by the Michael.
• 45:08
  For us, a teachable moment is not everything is about
• 45:12
  investing money. Currency is not necessarily
• 45:16
  actually money. Your currency was building
• 45:18
  relationships, which what you said didn't cost you any money.
• 45:21
  You didn't take any money out of your pocket.
• 45:23
  You just spent time, you spend time with the people, you got to
• 45:25
  know the real them. You know, you actually
• 45:28
  integrated yourself into the life make make, make it more
• 45:30
  intimate and you you actually monetized on that.
• 45:34
  You were able to use that to your advantage and it's serving
• 45:37
  you very well in your business right now.
• 45:39
  So relationships, building relationships, people buy from
• 45:43
  people, right? And that's the most important
• 45:45
  thing. It's not necessarily what you're
• 45:47
  selling. It's not how good your product
• 45:49
  is or amazing your service is. It's about you.
• 45:52
  What are you going to do to make my life easier, to make my life
• 45:56
  better? What are you bringing to the
• 45:58
  table? And I think that's really
• 45:59
  ultimately what people want to see in others.
• 46:01
  It's true like our our name for our brand like people power
• 46:04
  nursing. This was something that Adam
• 46:06
  actually at employee was the one that suggested the name and
• 46:09
  really we look for that everyday, the amount of people
• 46:11
  that we impact on a daily what? Does employee even like mean?
• 46:14
  Where does that name come from? Employee.
• 46:15
  Yeah, isn't. That what you just said.
• 46:16
  Yeah. So employee is a company that we
• 46:18
  work with closely. You know, employees got great
• 46:20
  brand recognition on doing a lot for our.
• 46:22
  Yeah, they're all over the place, changing the way that,
• 46:24
  you know, people hire now with their staffing platform,
• 46:27
  literally changing the way you can be organized about your
• 46:29
  staffing. There's so much value that I've
• 46:31
  been able to see personally in my career with them that I've
• 46:34
  grown with them and I no. Man, I'm just curious about the
• 46:36
  name where they come up with employ.
• 46:37
  What does that mean? Employ No, it's employ no.
• 46:40
  I know I'm I'm using it. I'm trying to figure out someone
• 46:42
  creative. I'm sure there's.
• 46:45
  Something we have to ask Adam about that that's.
• 46:46
  Like a random. Name but but yeah, but it's
• 46:49
  stuck and he he's he's managed to build a great company I I
• 46:53
  love and appreciate what the. Speaking.
• 46:55
  Of which we're going to get right into it now.
• 46:57
  Then we always like to ask our guests if they would pick
• 47:01
  another guest that would be a good person to be on our show.
• 47:05
  Who would be your pick? Adam would be my pick.
• 47:07
  That's it. Sounded like it.
• 47:09
  That's why I was jumping on that opportunity.
• 47:10
  Adam would be our pick. Adam would be your pick.
• 47:12
  OK, so I think it's due time for you to ask him to join our show.
• 47:15
  I mean. We'll, we'll, we'll talk to him.
• 47:17
  I'm sure we can convince them to, to do this with us.
• 47:19
  I I think that we're both very passionate about.
• 47:21
  He has a lot to offer in terms of, you know, his background and
• 47:25
  his what what he does in general for sales, marketing, software,
• 47:28
  technology advancement and just togetherness.
• 47:31
  It's I would look forward to. Having I want to.
• 47:34
  If it's OK, I want to go back for a minute to a topic we were
• 47:37
  talking about earlier, given your background and your history
• 47:41
  and your relationship with your parents early on versus your
• 47:43
  relationship now. I also have a lot of family
• 47:47
  members, friends that went through a very similar life
• 47:51
  cycle, right? Where they grew up in a certain
• 47:54
  way, whether it was an ultra orthodox environment.
• 47:56
  And they slowly, you know, I wouldn't say strayed because
• 48:00
  that's has a negative connotation, but they changed
• 48:03
  their life course, OK. And they completely changed, you
• 48:06
  know, how they live their life. And a lot of times it worked
• 48:09
  out, you know, for the positive, a lot of times it made them
• 48:10
  better people. It made them healthier people,
• 48:12
  happier people. Not always.
• 48:15
  Sometimes it has the adverse effect.
• 48:16
  Sometimes people actually go out on their own and they don't
• 48:18
  quite make it and they deteriorate.
• 48:21
  And, you know, you're very fortunate that it really worked
• 48:23
  out for you in the end. And you had support.
• 48:25
  Not everybody gets that support. And sometimes these people are
• 48:28
  alone and sometimes it leads them to very, very dark places.
• 48:32
  So I know both sides of the spectrum.
• 48:33
  I know a lot of people from from each side, but what they don't
• 48:36
  want to ask you and kind of get your take on this, because I'm
• 48:39
  curious how you interact, you know, with your parents or your
• 48:41
  family even not even just your parents.
• 48:43
  Let's assume there's a event. One of your brothers is making a
• 48:47
  wedding. OK, at at the wedding, you know,
• 48:51
  it's a see the show wedding. They have a certain type of, you
• 48:54
  know, an environment that they have at their weddings,
• 48:57
  especially how people dress. Everybody's to come in their in
• 49:00
  their strimals and their backers, you know, especially
• 49:02
  family, right. So when when you would go to a
• 49:05
  wedding, I don't know if you have brothers or sisters who
• 49:07
  made weddings or not, but something like that.
• 49:10
  Would you are you going with your hair uncovered?
• 49:13
  Are you covering your hair out of respect for what they want?
• 49:16
  It's in their space it's in or you want to be you.
• 49:20
  And there's no right or wrong answer.
• 49:21
  I'm just curious what you do because I do think there are
• 49:24
  some that take it to the extreme level where it becomes somewhat
• 49:27
  disrespectful, where they're almost wanting to like, you
• 49:30
  know, show it up and, and put it in your face a little bit.
• 49:33
  Too much like Dofko, like you have to fight you're.
• 49:36
  Doing this fight, but you, you, I know you're obviously very,
• 49:39
  very mature. You're worked out and you're in
• 49:40
  a good place. So you've been in a good place.
• 49:42
  What do you do when you go to a family event?
• 49:45
  How do you go? Do you go dressed?
• 49:46
  You know, in a certain way, are you going to try a little bit or
• 49:49
  or no, that's, that's not what you want to do.
• 49:51
  And they don't even expect that. So I like to dress classy,
• 49:53
  right? So I'm going to dress in a way
• 49:55
  that's conducive that I don't look like the oddball out,
• 49:57
  right. But I will be respectful about
• 50:00
  things. I don't personally own a wig, so
• 50:01
  I will just pretend this is my wig.
• 50:03
  And I'll always say I just had a freshly washed, doesn't it look
• 50:05
  great? You know, that works.
• 50:08
  Yeah. Look, it's something that I
• 50:09
  won't change. I'm not ready to cover my hair,
• 50:11
  and I'm not just changing that for anybody anymore.
• 50:14
  At this point. When I decided I'm not covering
• 50:15
  my hair, it was like done deal. I'm not doing it anymore.
• 50:18
  But do you make any attempt to do something that you typically
• 50:21
  would do on your own if you were somewhere else, but because
• 50:23
  you're going here, you're going to do something different?
• 50:25
  Whether it's wearing less jewelry, whether whatever it
• 50:27
  might, I have no idea. I'd like to be myself.
• 50:29
  I'd like to be myself, but I will choose a dress choice that
• 50:32
  makes sure that I'm not wearing something way too short that
• 50:35
  they'll feel uncomfortable to like have me around right.
• 50:38
  And so like, I don't want to be that person that will
• 50:40
  intentionally, you know, do certain things, but I'm not
• 50:42
  putting on no tights. Like so I'll still wear a short
• 50:45
  dress that will be close to my knees or right below my knees,
• 50:48
  but I'm not going to put on tights for them.
• 50:49
  Everybody else could wear tights.
• 50:50
  Everybody else could wear their Shrimal and their waist.
• 50:53
  But like, we're not going to change who we are as people.
• 50:54
  Like my husband doesn't own a hat, right?
• 50:57
  So there's nothing he's going to start buying in order to come to
• 50:59
  the wedding. He's going to wear a suit like
• 51:01
  he always does. And yes, when we take pictures,
• 51:03
  he will look different because they're all wearing the same
• 51:05
  black, you know, Becca Shaw and everything.
• 51:08
  And he will dress with what he wears.
• 51:09
  And because we're the only ones that are like that from my
• 51:12
  siblings, yeah, we end up looking different.
• 51:14
  But I think that I still come across as respectful when I can.
• 51:18
  And I will be respectful when I show up at my mom's house.
• 51:22
  And sometimes if I feel like she'll be uncomfortable, I just
• 51:24
  tell her, well, you could come sit in my car so I don't have to
• 51:26
  come out if you don't want me to.
• 51:28
  And it works, you know. Listen, there's obvious.
• 51:32
  This is obviously very, you know, lengthy conversation that
• 51:36
  you can have on this topic, but I know people on both sides of
• 51:39
  the spectrum that are ultra respectful when it comes to, you
• 51:43
  know, their background and the people that were in their
• 51:45
  previous life. I know someone who does cover
• 51:47
  her hair when she goes to an event, even though she doesn't
• 51:50
  cover her hair ever outside. But when she goes to a certain
• 51:52
  event, she, she has a wig just for that reason and she covers
• 51:55
  her hair. And I, I actually think that's,
• 51:57
  that's very nice. I think that's very respectful
• 51:59
  that she does that. And then I know others that are
• 52:02
  exactly the opposite. Not only will they not go and
• 52:05
  cover their hair, but they're, they're going to go out of their
• 52:08
  way to remind everybody that, you know, this is not who I am,
• 52:12
  this is not who I want to be. And they'll go a little bit cut
• 52:13
  above, they'll go a little bit extra umph because they want to
• 52:17
  make that certain impression. And that to me is, is, is a
• 52:21
  problem. I think, I think that's a little
• 52:23
  bit too much, you know, because think about it, you, you, you
• 52:26
  don't want to be judged, right? Your whole thing is let me live
• 52:29
  my life, you know, but you're now judging them because you're
• 52:31
  saying what you know, not you. I'm saying these people come now
• 52:34
  judging them by saying your, your ways are antiquated.
• 52:37
  They're old and they're old fashioned and they're wrong.
• 52:40
  And therefore I'm gonna comment, I'm gonna show you that this is
• 52:43
  who I am. And that's in a way judging them
• 52:45
  of their values and what, what they want and what they respect.
• 52:48
  So I think people should try to conform.
• 52:51
  It's, there's, there's a lot of merit to say that if your
• 52:54
  parents or your family members are a certain way when you're
• 52:57
  amongst them, I think you should try to blend in as much as you
• 53:01
  can. You know what, it's just for
• 53:02
  that period of time. It's not the end of the world.
• 53:04
  You're leaving now, Go back to your regular life, do whatever
• 53:07
  you want to do, but when you're around, you owe it.
• 53:10
  I think you owe it to your parents and to your family to
• 53:13
  try to be as much as you can the way they want you to be when
• 53:17
  you're with them, When you're not with them, you can do
• 53:19
  whatever you want. That's just my take.
• 53:20
  It's my opinion. I could be very wrong on this.
• 53:22
  Could be a lot of people are going to what do.
• 53:23
  You think I'm going to say to AI have a lot to say?
• 53:26
  On this topic, I already know. Michael, you're going.
• 53:27
  To I I have some things to say too, but go ahead, Michael.
• 53:30
  I mean, I'm just going to say to start off with to a certain
• 53:33
  extent, because why don't you put put yourself in that
• 53:36
  person's shoes for a moment, OK? You're, you're not conforming
• 53:39
  with the way your family was growing up because you're
• 53:42
  leading a different life, which is your own life.
• 53:44
  And like Faggy said which? Is your right?
• 53:46
  Which is your right? So you want me to walk into an
• 53:48
  event and not be myself and to what extent?
• 53:52
  Like I understand the respect idea.
• 53:54
  I really, I'm a fan of it. Like there's certain elements of
• 53:56
  being respectful when you're going into a shul or a synagogue
• 54:00
  or joining a Shabbat dinner or you know, certain things that
• 54:03
  are respectful, you know that you're part of the traditional
• 54:07
  things that you're doing. Just like if you join an Indian
• 54:10
  dinner, you might put something, a scarf over your neck and
• 54:12
  that's OK, but that's it to me, that's it.
• 54:15
  I, I'm not asking anyone to conform for me and I don't want
• 54:19
  to conform for anyone unless it makes sense within my
• 54:23
  environment of me being true and honest to who I am.
• 54:26
  Why don't I have a right to not keep my hair covered and be
• 54:30
  myself coming into an event? Why don't I have the right for
• 54:33
  people to know who I am? Why do I have to fake it?
• 54:36
  There are going to be people that I'm going to meet at this
• 54:37
  event that don't know me. And then they're going to look
• 54:40
  at me and say, oh, you're a person that covers your hair.
• 54:42
  And the conversation is going to be like, they're going to ask me
• 54:44
  like, when am I going to shul next?
• 54:46
  And I don't want that conversation.
• 54:47
  I want. Them we're we're not saying
• 54:48
  anything different except that you think of the line maybe a
• 54:51
  little bit further than what I'm saying.
• 54:53
  So we both agree. OK that to a certain point let's
• 54:56
  agree to agree. Yeah, but there's but this is
• 54:59
  where I want to disagree with you one and I want to make sure
• 55:01
  that we have this battle. Where is that line?
• 55:03
  Where is that line? Where is the line.
• 55:04
  There's one extra step, right? The respect has to go both ways,
• 55:07
  right? So you can't expect me to show
• 55:10
  up a certain way. However, I feel respectful
• 55:13
  enough to come, right? So like, don't have expectations
• 55:15
  that I'm going to cover my here for you don't have expectations
• 55:18
  I'm going to wear. I'm going to try and do whatever
• 55:20
  I can to make you feel comfortable, but you need to be
• 55:22
  accepting that I'm not the same person you know that grew up in
• 55:25
  your house anymore either. Have you ever been asked to
• 55:28
  leave or to cover up? Did that ever happened to you?
• 55:32
  So I'm, I'm sure over the years I've been asked to do certain
• 55:35
  things, you know, especially when it came to like my
• 55:37
  ex-husband and his family and the way things were there.
• 55:40
  But I think that the one thing that my family's done really
• 55:43
  well is to make sure that I feel like I belonged again.
• 55:45
  And they've done a really good job at never telling me anything
• 55:49
  about things, you know, And it could be a portion of it is
• 55:52
  because, you know, they know I wouldn't care and I'm not
• 55:55
  changing anymore. Could be a portion of it is
• 55:58
  because at this point I have money and in the Jacita space,
• 56:01
  it's hard to tell somebody with money to, like, do something
• 56:04
  because, you know, you need to flip.
• 56:05
  Yeah, I know. You get a little bit more
• 56:07
  because of your financial. Status Yes, I.
• 56:10
  Definitely think more because of your financial status it.
• 56:13
  Really. Does I want to get a little bit
• 56:15
  personal? I'm sorry.
• 56:15
  Yeah, go ahead. I want to answer.
• 56:16
  You don't have to you. Can just say none of your.
• 56:18
  Business, I think the only way to actually get this message
• 56:21
  across is if we use a real life Exactly.
• 56:24
  OK right now you're not covering your elbows, right?
• 56:28
  That's fine. In normal day of life, you're
• 56:29
  here. That's perfectly normal.
• 56:31
  When you go to a wedding and see there's a wedding in
• 56:33
  Williamsburg, this is not OK. And a matter of fact, it's very
• 56:36
  offensive for them. Very offensive.
• 56:38
  OK, So if you go to a wedding in Williamsburg or in Monroe, it
• 56:42
  sounds to me like you wouldn't look to cover your elbows
• 56:44
  particularly or even wear a skirt that's below your knees,
• 56:47
  which is very offensive to the, you know, not even just for
• 56:50
  Casita, but even in any Orthodox, you know, do you think
• 56:53
  that you should be covering it up for the sake of blending in
• 56:57
  or do you think, no, this is what this is the line.
• 57:00
  I want to know is that the line or do you have a different line?
• 57:02
  I have no problem wearing longer sleeves if I was to come to
• 57:05
  Williamsburg. You know, I have tattoos on my
• 57:07
  arm. And to me, it's a whole separate
• 57:09
  conversation, too, right? So instead of having to have
• 57:11
  that conversation, I'd rather just wear longer sleeves.
• 57:15
  It's funny because a couple months ago I had gone out with
• 57:17
  my siblings. And bear in mind, you know, we
• 57:19
  had gone out with five or six of the siblings.
• 57:21
  You know, obviously my husband and I came.
• 57:23
  We're the ones that are different.
• 57:25
  And we had gone out to the city before this and we were meeting
• 57:28
  afterwards for dinner. And like right before we were
• 57:31
  headed there, I was like, I know I'm wearing jeans, but I'm also
• 57:33
  wearing short sleeves. I think one of the others got to
• 57:36
  go. Let me let me at least go pick
• 57:37
  up another shirt so that I have longer sleeves.
• 57:40
  And you know what, we're all sitting at the table.
• 57:42
  Nobody was seeing what I was wearing below that.
• 57:44
  So it looked very respectful. I went over to the ritzy a
• 57:47
  store, got myself an oversized sweatshirt.
• 57:49
  Never mind. It was boiling hot.
• 57:51
  But I'm like, I'll suck it up for this time because you know
• 57:53
  what? I don't want to have that be
• 57:55
  that I'm sitting at the table and all you're looking at is
• 57:57
  like what I'm wearing rather than who I am.
• 57:59
  And it was an amazing dinner. We took great pictures.
• 58:02
  But you'll see I'm the odd one out and so is my husband.
• 58:04
  And it doesn't matter because the family chose to be
• 58:07
  accepting, you know, But is there a point that they were
• 58:10
  accepting because they needed something perhaps, You know, And
• 58:14
  I just think that it happens often and where money will let
• 58:17
  you get away with certain things, like we pay full tuition
• 58:20
  at school. The school will never call us
• 58:21
  for anything because we're one of the very few that still pay
• 58:24
  full tuition. So it's gonna be something that
• 58:27
  like, you could get away with certain things based on the fact
• 58:30
  that I don't need something from you now you need something from
• 58:32
  me. By the way, and that's I'm, I'm
• 58:35
  OK with that because at the end of the day, you know, money does
• 58:39
  make things go around. It's just the reality.
• 58:40
  It's the reality. It's what it is.
• 58:42
  Yeah, it's fine. We have to try to, you know,
• 58:44
  curb it as much as we can, not let it influence our decisions
• 58:46
  in very big ways where it affects other people's lives.
• 58:49
  But that's not, that's been going on for, you know,
• 58:51
  thousands of years. And I don't think it's gonna
• 58:52
  change anytime soon. But I'm very impressed with you
• 58:55
  that you went and you thought about it.
• 58:56
  But Figgy, I, I don't mean to give you a hard time, but it
• 58:59
  almost sounds like you did it for yourself.
• 59:00
  It sounds like you were somewhat like, I don't want to deal with
• 59:02
  this. I don't want people looking at
• 59:03
  me, asking me. I'd rather just cover up.
• 59:05
  Not so much because, you know, I'm with them and this is kind
• 59:08
  of their, you know, this is what their beliefs are.
• 59:11
  And I want to, you know, I want to appease them.
• 59:13
  I want to just blend in because I respect them.
• 59:16
  It didn't come from that place. It sounds like it sounds like it
• 59:18
  came more. Of it was a little bit of both
• 59:19
  because generally I go out with my sisters often.
• 59:21
  We probably at least see each other once every month or every
• 59:24
  other month. And they've already seen me in
• 59:26
  my element like this, right. So it wasn't for them.
• 59:28
  It was more so their husbands that came with them.
• 59:30
  I don't want them to feel like, you know, maybe their wives
• 59:32
  shouldn't hang out with me for some reason because of what I do
• 59:35
  or what I wear. And so I wanted to be more
• 59:37
  respectful a little bit for their sake, more so than for my
• 59:40
  sake, because for me, like you don't want to talk to me
• 59:42
  tomorrow. I don't give a shit, you know,
• 59:44
  but for them, like I didn't want it to be an opportunity for them
• 59:46
  to be told like, oh, perhaps you shouldn't be going for dinner
• 59:48
  with her. Go out without her, you know,
• 59:50
  and I like my relationship with my sisters.
• 59:52
  I freaking love them. Like I, I feel like I have the
• 59:55
  strongest relationship with my sisters now more than I had when
• 59:59
  I was growing up. Like we were fighting cats and
• 1:00:01
  dogs back in the day. But like, you know, we were
• 1:00:04
  girls that were in high school. Like 3 out of four of my sisters
• 1:00:06
  were in high school at the same time.
• 1:00:08
  We were very competitive about certain things back then.
• 1:00:10
  But like now we're in a place where we honestly could have
• 1:00:13
  great conversations. We can have a really good time.
• 1:00:16
  We'll talk about our past and all the challenges we've been
• 1:00:18
  through as kids growing up in our house.
• 1:00:20
  Do you? Think any of your sisters
• 1:00:21
  secretly kind of, you know, look at your life now and think to
• 1:00:25
  themselves, you know, maybe maybe we kind of missed the
• 1:00:28
  boat, you know, maybe, maybe figgy's on to something, you
• 1:00:31
  know? Like secretly they probably like
• 1:00:33
  maybe have a certain inklings of like this is so much more fun,
• 1:00:36
  you know, like and like I'd want to do this more often, you know,
• 1:00:39
  and stuff like that for sure. You know, you know what the
• 1:00:41
  biggest problem with a lot of the ultra Orthodox?
• 1:00:44
  I see them, let's call them that.
• 1:00:46
  You know, when they decide this is not the path that I want,
• 1:00:48
  it's too much. This is very extreme.
• 1:00:50
  I can't. I want something else.
• 1:00:52
  A lot of times they don't realize that it's not black and
• 1:00:55
  white, right? It's not either you're very
• 1:00:56
  Hasidish or you're not religious at all.
• 1:00:58
  And, and, and, and you know, you start wearing a cross tomorrow
• 1:01:00
  morning, like there's a lot of real estate in between.
• 1:01:03
  You know, you can be a you can live a very healthy life by
• 1:01:06
  being very religious and having certain beliefs and he could
• 1:01:09
  have a very good quality of life, but.
• 1:01:11
  You can see that as an outsider. But that's our our person.
• 1:01:14
  Teach these people. No, the Khasidis people don't
• 1:01:16
  feel like that. Like I remember when I chose to
• 1:01:18
  have my eldest daughter go to Prospect and Prospect is a very
• 1:01:21
  from school, but it's considered a modern school in the Hasidis
• 1:01:25
  environment. It's not a Hasidis school.
• 1:01:26
  It's not like Poplar or Sophomore or Bobbid.
• 1:01:29
  And it would be her first grandchild going to a school
• 1:01:31
  like that. I remember thinking like, Oh my
• 1:01:34
  God, my kids going to public school.
• 1:01:35
  That's what my mom thought. She's going to public school.
• 1:01:38
  And if only she could imagine like the school she was in then,
• 1:01:40
  like at least was only girls. Like at the point that like my
• 1:01:43
  kids are in schools that are Coed, they're great schools.
• 1:01:46
  And you know, shout out to the my kids schools like Yeshiva
• 1:01:48
  Noah and Frisch are amazing schools.
• 1:01:51
  You know, cost an arm and a leg compared to a Jacita school, but
• 1:01:55
  amazing schools. Like I think my kids have grown
• 1:01:58
  into the people they've become because of having opportunities
• 1:02:00
  to have gone to a school that was so special.
• 1:02:02
  I don't think they would have been the same people had they
• 1:02:04
  stayed in the system that we were coming from.
• 1:02:06
  But my parents, especially my mom, felt like I'm literally
• 1:02:10
  going to this path of like the extremes.
• 1:02:12
  So which is basically it wasn't. I was wearing a longer skirt.
• 1:02:15
  Now look at the street. Most everybody's wearing a long
• 1:02:17
  skirt. But 20 years ago a long skirt
• 1:02:19
  was like, Oh my God, I'm trying to be modern.
• 1:02:22
  Modern or religious or not religious, Which route would you
• 1:02:25
  rather me have taken? Obviously.
• 1:02:26
  You know, the problem is that a lot of times, you know, people,
• 1:02:30
  you know, in your circles growing up and, you know,
• 1:02:33
  Williamsburg and Monroe or even in Israel, maybe charm, they're
• 1:02:35
  very sheltered. They don't know what's out
• 1:02:39
  there, and they don't know how to adjust to their new reality.
• 1:02:41
  As soon as they get a little bit of freedom, they get a taste of
• 1:02:43
  it. They go out there and they go,
• 1:02:45
  wow, they don't like the Amish. You know the Amish, right?
• 1:02:47
  They actually force their children at a certain age to go
• 1:02:50
  out and experience the world and they tell them you have a choice
• 1:02:53
  to come back afterwards and if you come back, it's for good.
• 1:02:55
  Like once you come back, you're making your decision or.
• 1:02:58
  I believe it's when they're. 18 and it's called.
• 1:03:00
  Rumspring. Rumspring, rumspring, There you
• 1:03:03
  go. So rumspring is an Amish
• 1:03:04
  concept. I want to do a rumspring, yeah.
• 1:03:07
  Oh my God, can we do it still this?
• 1:03:08
  Thing. Yeah, is it really called
• 1:03:10
  Rumspring? Let's do it.
• 1:03:11
  What a great name, by the way. Like if I had to think of a name
• 1:03:14
  test for this type of concept of going out into the world and
• 1:03:18
  just party and do everything you want.
• 1:03:20
  Go rum Spring. I like that you.
• 1:03:22
  Have a little rum. Spring ash, you know, the first
• 1:03:25
  year in Israel. First year in Israel.
• 1:03:27
  Let's not say just people didn't get no Shun Olive or anything
• 1:03:29
  like that. So like we didn't have those
• 1:03:30
  years. You got married right out of
• 1:03:32
  school. I like that.
• 1:03:33
  I like that. But you should know that when I
• 1:03:35
  first got married, the first time, I remember like I was
• 1:03:38
  seeing, you know, my ex-husband opening the light, I was
• 1:03:41
  thinking he was going to get electrocuted.
• 1:03:43
  Like literally, I'm like, you haven't died.
• 1:03:44
  Like you turn on the TV. It's holy.
• 1:03:46
  That's a Riddle that people actually live in where they
• 1:03:49
  think that if I open the light, lightning the strike for you
• 1:03:51
  right now, and then when it doesn't happen, then oh, wow,
• 1:03:54
  this is interesting. Then they try something else and
• 1:03:57
  before you know it, before you know, they go completely off.
• 1:03:59
  And this is where the problem starts, is they don't know how
• 1:04:02
  to actually strategically do this.
• 1:04:04
  They don't understand that, OK, you were probably a little bit,
• 1:04:07
  you know, toward a little bit too much.
• 1:04:09
  We agree you were way too sheltered.
• 1:04:11
  You were it was way too extreme. But they can't.
• 1:04:13
  Find the balance. I agree.
• 1:04:15
  Many couple of times go now into first gear from 5th gear.
• 1:04:18
  All of a sudden you take a quick break and you have an accident
• 1:04:20
  because of it. You there has to be and there
• 1:04:22
  has to be a lot of education that needs to go around because
• 1:04:25
  the Casitas community is growing, growing, growing,
• 1:04:29
  growing. You see what's going on in in
• 1:04:31
  Monroe and Kira 0I. Have to interject.
• 1:04:33
  They're also thriving, thriving, thriving.
• 1:04:35
  Sure, there's something that works.
• 1:04:36
  But Michael, there is a portion of that community that is, let's
• 1:04:40
  call it collateral damage, OK? There's a percentage, I don't
• 1:04:42
  know if it's ten percent, 15%, whatever the number is, that
• 1:04:45
  automatically it's gonna happen. It's unavoidable that they're
• 1:04:47
  gonna go out of the community and they're gonna fall very
• 1:04:49
  hard. And we have to make sure that we
• 1:04:52
  provide the and there is a lot of programs that are out there.
• 1:04:54
  There is. It's become much more prevalent.
• 1:04:56
  It wasn't. It wasn't there.
• 1:04:58
  Yeah, 20 years ago, it was not available.
• 1:05:01
  I'm sorry. About when you grew up in New
• 1:05:02
  York Times, you absolutely. Agreed.
• 1:05:04
  Agreed. It was like you had to kick them
• 1:05:07
  out of the house because it would be bad for your other
• 1:05:08
  kids. Like it was like literally
• 1:05:10
  almost like the parents felt obligated to stop talking to
• 1:05:12
  that kid because they're like the cancer that's gonna hurt
• 1:05:15
  every other kid in the house. I feel like there is much more
• 1:05:18
  available now. I still think that there's a
• 1:05:20
  very large stigma, almost like the siblings from this kid that
• 1:05:23
  decided to like go a different path is now like hurting the
• 1:05:26
  other kids and their chances of staying in schools and getting
• 1:05:29
  into schools. I find it hard to believe that
• 1:05:30
  like society hasn't changed and the schools haven't kept up with
• 1:05:34
  so much of it for kids to have to beg to get into schools if
• 1:05:37
  they want to stay in a religious school, why wouldn't you keep
• 1:05:39
  them? You know, I think that that's
• 1:05:41
  the part that like the. That's a whole other topic,
• 1:05:43
  yeah. School systems and how it works,
• 1:05:44
  you know, throwing a kid out because of how their family is
• 1:05:47
  or whatever it might be. OK, that's a whole nother
• 1:05:49
  conversation. Just circle back on the
• 1:05:51
  rumspring thing. If the Amish person doesn't, the
• 1:05:54
  18 year old does not choose to come back and go back to their
• 1:05:58
  community. They're shocked.
• 1:05:59
  They're shocked, really. Right.
• 1:06:00
  They're kicked out. They're done.
• 1:06:02
  They cannot see their family. They.
• 1:06:04
  They're shocked they lose their relationship forever with their
• 1:06:06
  family and they can't come back. So it's a very big decision for
• 1:06:09
  them. There was.
• 1:06:09
  A movie like this, Divergent or something like that.
• 1:06:11
  No, no, no, no, no. You're talking about Banshee.
• 1:06:13
  No, no, that's a show I'm talking about.
• 1:06:14
  There's also a movie called Divergent, or where they leave
• 1:06:18
  the community like a faction, and once you pick that faction,
• 1:06:21
  you're done. There's no turning back.
• 1:06:22
  They made a show, also a Lifetime series about Amish.
• 1:06:25
  You know that? Go through this Rumspring.
• 1:06:27
  We got to, by the way, have a drinking game with the
• 1:06:29
  Rumspring. Every time we say Rumspring from
• 1:06:31
  now on, we take a shot. But I got to tell you, it's it's
• 1:06:34
  a fascinating topic and it's a very controversial one or fakey.
• 1:06:38
  And the bottom line is I believe this is just my little small
• 1:06:41
  minded way of thinking is everybody should do what works
• 1:06:44
  for them that makes them happiest, what works for you
• 1:06:47
  that makes you happy. Because if you're not happy.
• 1:06:49
  Then nothing else matters. That is the beginning of all
• 1:06:51
  problems. I agree.
• 1:06:52
  And you have to strive to just be as happy as you can be.
• 1:06:55
  And religion is super important, arguably the most important
• 1:06:59
  thing. But you know what comes before
• 1:07:00
  religion? Yourself happiness, yourself
• 1:07:02
  care because you can't have a relationship with God, you can't
• 1:07:05
  have a relationship with your peers.
• 1:07:07
  If you don't have a relationship with yourself first, it starts
• 1:07:10
  and ends with you. So you got to be happy.
• 1:07:12
  And if this life isn't working for you and you're miserable and
• 1:07:15
  you're hiding it and you're stuck inside your shell because
• 1:07:18
  of it, you're not doing a service to anybody, doing a
• 1:07:20
  disservice to yourself and for the future generations that you
• 1:07:23
  could be bringing up. And you also creating a snowball
• 1:07:26
  effect of unhappiness around you and you're making your kids go
• 1:07:30
  through that type of life and. It repeat in the generation
• 1:07:33
  much. More open minded.
• 1:07:34
  I agree. I think that most people aren't
• 1:07:36
  naturally just happy though. And it's a choice to make to
• 1:07:38
  wake up in the morning and say, I choose to be happy.
• 1:07:40
  I want to be happy. And I think that that's
• 1:07:42
  something that I've worked hard on and saying like I'm not going
• 1:07:45
  to let things get in my way of being happy.
• 1:07:47
  I don't care what happens. Like I'm choosing to be happy.
• 1:07:50
  And I think that it's what people gravitate around me to
• 1:07:53
  like, want to be with me and like spend time with me because
• 1:07:55
  like I truly choose the path of like being happy, not because
• 1:08:00
  it's the path of least resistance is obviously the path
• 1:08:02
  that sometimes takes the most work.
• 1:08:04
  But it's such a good choice. And where I see the days that
• 1:08:07
  I'm happy, everybody around me is just happy.
• 1:08:09
  It's a happier day. Things are more positive.
• 1:08:12
  You. You basically perpetuate you.
• 1:08:14
  Feel. So if you're a happy person,
• 1:08:16
  right, you're going to put that happiness onto someone else and
• 1:08:19
  it's going to bounce back to you.
• 1:08:20
  It's going to make you happier, but when you're bringing that
• 1:08:23
  negativity into. Nobody wants to be about.
• 1:08:25
  It reverberates all over negative.
• 1:08:27
  Yeah, I agree. I think nobody wants to be about
• 1:08:29
  negative Nelly all the time. Nobody wants to hear everything
• 1:08:32
  that they do, right. Yeah, Like, please leave me
• 1:08:34
  alone. Like, I want to just hear
• 1:08:35
  everything that's going well. Like, tell this to my team all
• 1:08:38
  the time. Like, tell me something
• 1:08:39
  positive. Don't only give me the negative.
• 1:08:41
  Like you'll always see when I'm starting a conversation, it will
• 1:08:43
  always be I say something nice first.
• 1:08:45
  Even if it's something to the team that I need to relay to
• 1:08:47
  them, my first thing will always be something nice and something
• 1:08:49
  positive. To make it cheerful.
• 1:08:52
  No, because otherwise. You're.
• 1:08:54
  No, no, you can end off with something nice too.
• 1:08:56
  But like if you start the conversation with a negative,
• 1:08:59
  your head is already in that space and where I can't listen
• 1:09:01
  to you anymore because like I said, in my head, you already
• 1:09:04
  told me I'm not good enough. So now anything you say, you're
• 1:09:07
  not hearing the same way about this.
• 1:09:08
  No, because like, I don't. No, you know that they say when
• 1:09:11
  you slap a child, which you shouldn't be doing, right?
• 1:09:13
  But back in the day, they, they, they would do that, but they
• 1:09:15
  would say then like if they thought like this was the
• 1:09:17
  remedy, you're softening the blow, so to speak, is after you
• 1:09:20
  smack them, give them a kiss or give them a hug, you know, just
• 1:09:23
  to that's. Bullshit, and we all have that.
• 1:09:25
  I think the whole thing is messed up.
• 1:09:26
  Don't smack them to begin with, right?
• 1:09:28
  Take a whole nother approach we've learned today as we've.
• 1:09:31
  If I told you something nice, would you not be more open to
• 1:09:33
  hearing what I have to say, even if you're a pain negative?
• 1:09:36
  And it sounds like. No, it's depending on how you
• 1:09:37
  say but. Then I don't believe the next
• 1:09:39
  thing you said, but it was, oh, wait a second, now that.
• 1:09:40
  That's why they started with something nice because they
• 1:09:42
  wanted to. But I feel like it's more
• 1:09:44
  genuine, more authentic if you come out there and just say what
• 1:09:47
  you have to say. Obviously be respectful, be
• 1:09:49
  polite and not saying, you know, be very tough about it, but try
• 1:09:51
  to do it the best way you can, but say it and then end off with
• 1:09:55
  something nice. So this way they know.
• 1:09:57
  But and by the way, having said that, here's where I think
• 1:09:59
  you're doing amazing. They'll be more receptive to it.
• 1:10:01
  I'd be really on that one. They know you're being real,
• 1:10:04
  they're just experiencing. No, I'm also going to disagree
• 1:10:06
  because if you start off authentically giving a
• 1:10:08
  compliment, they'll feel it right away.
• 1:10:10
  That is not a technic anymore. It is because they realize the
• 1:10:12
  only reason why you no, it's not true because you.
• 1:10:15
  Knew. No, you were going to tell me
• 1:10:17
  something afterwards that was hard to hear, and that's why you
• 1:10:19
  picked something in the beginning to say.
• 1:10:20
  Something, no, but if you always say that, meaning regardless of
• 1:10:23
  what I have to say with you, I'm always going to be positive with
• 1:10:25
  you, I'm always going to say something nice.
• 1:10:27
  Regardless if I have something negative to say after that or
• 1:10:29
  not, I'm always going to do that.
• 1:10:30
  So I always start the conversation the same way,
• 1:10:31
  regardless of being positive about something, be it of how
• 1:10:35
  you did your work week last week, what you did.
• 1:10:37
  So I'm calling for that. How?
• 1:10:38
  About say something nice before then get to your message.
• 1:10:41
  Yeah, I love that. Sandwich it in.
• 1:10:44
  Between yeah, I agree I. Like how we circled back in the
• 1:10:46
  beginning, we started talking about yourself care.
• 1:10:48
  We ended off talking about, oh, she's recognition of self-care.
• 1:10:50
  I always talk about, you know, self love.
• 1:10:53
  You have to recognize yourself right before you can recognize
• 1:10:56
  God or others, your family, your friends, your business.
• 1:10:59
  And we have to wrap up, guys, we're having such a good time.
• 1:11:02
  We're already an hour in and we've been hearing a lot of
• 1:11:05
  feedback that people want to keep it, you know, in that
• 1:11:07
  range. So, but before we end, I have a
• 1:11:09
  couple of few like questions that I prepared that I want to
• 1:11:13
  ask you and you can just answer me right away or you can, you
• 1:11:16
  know, talk about it more. Or she can look through his
• 1:11:18
  cards to see if he has any questions.
• 1:11:19
  I want to know, given the Olympics that are happening
• 1:11:21
  right now, one sport that you would pick, what would it be for
• 1:11:25
  you to be the best at the gold medal?
• 1:11:27
  I used to say it would be swimming because I really loved
• 1:11:30
  swimming. And then one summer right before
• 1:11:33
  I got married, you know, I was going to be a lifeguard that
• 1:11:35
  summer. And then my mom shut the plans
• 1:11:37
  down and I never got to be the lifeguard that year.
• 1:11:39
  And it's sort of like had me rethink about loving swimming
• 1:11:42
  anymore. And so I would have changed my
• 1:11:44
  mind on that. One that was a tough, tough
• 1:11:46
  sport. It is you know they have to swim
• 1:11:48
  sometimes like 8 laps. I used to love it.
• 1:11:50
  It's and, and they do it like back and forth, Michael, there's
• 1:11:53
  no breaks. That's right.
• 1:11:54
  And you have to have real endurance for that.
• 1:11:55
  Do you know what the most popular, most watched sport is
• 1:12:00
  in the Olympics? In the Summer Olympics I'm
• 1:12:02
  talking about, not the Winter Olympics.
• 1:12:04
  I'm going to assume swimming, no?
• 1:12:06
  Because on a list is in top 10. Really.
• 1:12:08
  What is? It the most watched sport in
• 1:12:10
  Olympics is gymnastics. I was going to say that next
• 1:12:13
  gymnastics, it's probably the only Yeah, it really is.
• 1:12:15
  Oh my God. Yeah, clips that these people
• 1:12:17
  could do. Oh my God, my head spins.
• 1:12:19
  Yeah, yeah, they work all day, every day.
• 1:12:21
  It's amazing. I always wished I could do that
• 1:12:22
  by the way, but like I wasn't flexible.
• 1:12:24
  You know, on that note, what is it that you would do if you
• 1:12:26
  didn't have to work? What would you like?
• 1:12:28
  What's your like go to hobby that you can do like you know
• 1:12:30
  for fun that you. Oh gamble, I call it church.
• 1:12:32
  Oh, I'm with you. I say I'm going to church.
• 1:12:35
  Yeah, absolutely. What's your What's your game?
• 1:12:37
  Well, all games. I'm not prejudice.
• 1:12:39
  I like all games. I hate blackjack, OK?
• 1:12:42
  I love poker. I feel like you always lose on
• 1:12:43
  blackjack. I feel like it's a losing game.
• 1:12:45
  It's a losing proposition. You know how you win in
• 1:12:47
  blackjack? Statistically, it's the.
• 1:12:49
  One that you could win the No, no, no.
• 1:12:51
  You know how you win in blackjack?
• 1:12:52
  The secret is you come in there saying I'm only playing 10 hands
• 1:12:56
  and whatever happens in those ten hands wait.
• 1:12:59
  Because how they get you is you could go on a run.
• 1:13:01
  It happens. You go on a run, but the more
• 1:13:03
  you stay, you're getting it all back, giving it all and then
• 1:13:06
  some with interest in giving it back.
• 1:13:07
  Yeah, I call it. I go to church so my kids know
• 1:13:10
  if I'm getting dressed, I'm going to church.
• 1:13:12
  They really know where. It's I have a good question.
• 1:13:13
  Go ahead. I have a good question.
• 1:13:14
  What was the largest amount of money in one sum that you either
• 1:13:19
  earned, that you won, inherited, doesn't matter how you got it,
• 1:13:23
  but what was the largest amount of money that you can remember
• 1:13:26
  that you got in one shot And like the you know, it was like,
• 1:13:29
  you know, you got one check, you got 1, you know, and one at.
• 1:13:31
  One time gambling or somewhere else?
• 1:13:33
  Anywhere. Anywhere gambling too.
• 1:13:35
  I doubt it. I doubt it was gambling.
• 1:13:37
  Maybe it was an invoice that was paid.
• 1:13:38
  Maybe it was exactly, well, one chunk of money.
• 1:13:40
  Well, I won a lot of money off a 25 off suit hand and and in
• 1:13:45
  poker and man that was still my best hand state and I won a few
• 1:13:49
  $1000 off that hand. And it was just so fun seeing
• 1:13:51
  the face of this person that was a jerk next to me when he lost
• 1:13:55
  with his trip twos because he had two seven but I had two five
• 1:13:58
  and gave me a full house on the flop and he lost.
• 1:14:00
  Man, you should have that guy thought did.
• 1:14:02
  You play poker I. Love playing poker?
• 1:14:04
  One of the best rules of poker is that when it's heads up you
• 1:14:07
  can trash talk. Oh my God, and I wait for those
• 1:14:09
  moments. It's all about trash, yeah.
• 1:14:11
  It's insane though. It's insane though, because we
• 1:14:14
  talk about healthcare and women in healthcare and like, you
• 1:14:16
  know, obviously you guys have your opinion about women in
• 1:14:19
  healthcare. I'm obviously a woman that
• 1:14:20
  maximize being a woman in healthcare, but maximizing being
• 1:14:23
  a woman at the poker table. Let's talk about that.
• 1:14:26
  That is. True, you know the women don't
• 1:14:28
  get enough St. cred when it comes to.
• 1:14:29
  Poker man yeah, I pretend to be that stupid girl at the table
• 1:14:32
  and then I literally RIP them by the time I'm gone.
• 1:14:35
  And you should know that I often play in Chicago when I'm at
• 1:14:38
  work, I'll. I'll stay at the table, you
• 1:14:40
  know, after work and after I'm doing stuff and I've created
• 1:14:43
  cred for myself at a poker table, you know, literally in a
• 1:14:46
  way that like when I'm and back there, they all just want to
• 1:14:48
  play with me because I've got guts.
• 1:14:50
  I don't care about losing 500 bucks.
• 1:14:51
  Like it's not about the 500 bucks because it's more about
• 1:14:53
  the thrill about what I could get.
• 1:14:55
  And so I'll call on hands that most other people would never
• 1:14:58
  call, usually wear my glasses, you know, and so like, you know,
• 1:15:01
  I'll, I'll fiddle with them. I'll read my emails, I told.
• 1:15:04
  You that I was at a poker game in Atlantic City.
• 1:15:07
  I was with my brother at the time and I was playing at a game
• 1:15:10
  and the poker table and I remember.
• 1:15:12
  I'll never forget this. I was in the hand, I was all in
• 1:15:15
  and the person against me was all in as well.
• 1:15:17
  That was a decent amount of money.
• 1:15:18
  It wasn't major. It was under $1000, but it was,
• 1:15:20
  you know, it was a healthy amount, seven, 800 bucks.
• 1:15:23
  And I won the hand. The other person lost.
• 1:15:25
  And you know, as he's throwing his car, he says, oh God, there
• 1:15:28
  goes my weekly paycheck and he gets up and he leaves and he
• 1:15:31
  gets the, my brother and I and I turned towards each other like,
• 1:15:34
  oh God, you know, like I, I felt really bad about it.
• 1:15:36
  I felt really bad about it. And I decided since then when I
• 1:15:40
  go to casinos, I don't play poker.
• 1:15:43
  Yeah, I don't want to play poker because I'm here at the casino.
• 1:15:45
  I want to take the casinos money.
• 1:15:47
  They can afford to give me money.
• 1:15:48
  I'm probably not taking their money either.
• 1:15:49
  I'm giving them money, but for the hopes of taking their money,
• 1:15:52
  I want to take their money. I don't want to take another
• 1:15:53
  person's money at the poker. Table Why don't you just start a
• 1:15:56
  poker game and say, hey guys, what do you all do for a living?
• 1:15:58
  Maybe that'll be a little more. Fun, but you have to imagine
• 1:16:01
  that 90% of the people at the game, of course, is not Uber
• 1:16:04
  wealthy. They're probably just, you know,
• 1:16:06
  average or, or trying to scrape by.
• 1:16:08
  No, they're really wealthy. People are not playing.
• 1:16:10
  Yeah, most money in casinos are made from the slot machines of
• 1:16:12
  association. You should know that some people
• 1:16:13
  at this at this casino that I go to in Chicago do this for a
• 1:16:17
  living. This is what their job is.
• 1:16:18
  They literally sit there for hours every day.
• 1:16:20
  They're sharks. That's what they do, yeah.
• 1:16:22
  They wait for guys like me and you to get there.
• 1:16:24
  Well, I'm not. I'm not considered a small fish
• 1:16:25
  anymore. I'm just saying, yeah.
• 1:16:27
  But we're not professionals. Though no, not professionals,
• 1:16:29
  but I I've I've gotten in some good hands with these peoples
• 1:16:32
  and walked away with several $1000.
• 1:16:33
  Why don't you join the World Series of Poker, the $10,000
• 1:16:36
  buyer they do once a year in Vegas.
• 1:16:38
  You know, the winner gets like, like, I don't know, 5,000,000
• 1:16:40
  bucks, whatever it is, maybe even more than that.
• 1:16:42
  Why don't you join US 10,000? Dollars.
• 1:16:44
  I like that I. Don't like to play, play that.
• 1:16:46
  I like to play real. Like just I like.
• 1:16:49
  It as a scale. I like it as a skill.
• 1:16:50
  I think it's taught me to have patience is one thing.
• 1:16:53
  I. Don't have patience.
• 1:16:54
  Man, because you got to wait for the right hand and when to do it
• 1:16:57
  and who to do it against, but also getting to know your
• 1:16:59
  opponents at the table, right, watching their moves.
• 1:17:02
  It is so interesting. And like, you could be sneaky
• 1:17:04
  about things, pretending you're on the phone or listening to
• 1:17:06
  music and watching and listening to what they're saying and they
• 1:17:09
  thinking that you're not paying attention, man, like this girl.
• 1:17:12
  I am not playing poker with you. Oh my goodness, I'm.
• 1:17:15
  Telling you I've won like I came in the game with $400.00 and
• 1:17:19
  left with over 4 grand several different occasions already.
• 1:17:21
  Because like at the end of the day, it's about really taking
• 1:17:24
  the time to understand that like I may not have the best hands
• 1:17:27
  always, but how I play it will allow me to do that.
• 1:17:29
  Hey? And once you have enough money
• 1:17:31
  at the table, like you could literally have the shittiest
• 1:17:33
  hand and literally scare people to get like you'd the really
• 1:17:36
  bulldoze them, right? Because at the end of the day,
• 1:17:39
  are you going to risk risk your ace king now against $2000?
• 1:17:42
  Are you going to bet that money? Maybe not because you don't even
• 1:17:44
  have a peer anymore and I may have just had 2-3 offs that I
• 1:17:48
  could. Do that.
• 1:17:48
  The best hand doesn't always win.
• 1:17:50
  Agree. It's a very evil game, Poker,
• 1:17:51
  because you know, it's frustrating.
• 1:17:53
  You do everything right and then somebody else doesn't know what
• 1:17:56
  they're doing and they win. They they, they beat.
• 1:17:58
  Sounds like a game of life. A game of life, exactly.
• 1:18:01
  It's true. It's a matter.
• 1:18:02
  Of my last question, I think this is a very important
• 1:18:04
  question. I think our, our listeners
• 1:18:05
  couldn't really benefit from this.
• 1:18:07
  OK. What are some of your tips,
• 1:18:09
  things that you've learned on how to save money in your
• 1:18:12
  personal life in general, just how to save money, anything.
• 1:18:15
  You're asking the wrong person. I'm asking the wrong person.
• 1:18:17
  You don't save. Money.
• 1:18:18
  I'm investing it European. She's investing generally and.
• 1:18:22
  Watching No, no, I misunderstood, Mr. Good
• 1:18:24
  question. Not about a savings account.
• 1:18:25
  It's not about saving and accruing money.
• 1:18:27
  It's not what I'm asking. I'm asking a a trick to save
• 1:18:30
  money to let's say, lower your phone bill or to spend less
• 1:18:33
  money in the grocery because, you know you.
• 1:18:35
  Get I can save everybody that you know, I can save money for
• 1:18:38
  any person around me, right. So like what we do for work,
• 1:18:42
  right, is help save money for labor.
• 1:18:44
  And it's something that I do really well, right, for
• 1:18:46
  yourself, for myself, I like to spend money.
• 1:18:48
  That's that much I can tell you it's.
• 1:18:49
  Like the Shoemaker walking around shoeless, she walks
• 1:18:51
  around barefoot. Well, it's quite the opposite
• 1:18:53
  here. She's spending the money, she's
• 1:18:54
  having a good time. She doesn't need the shoes.
• 1:18:57
  Yeah, I was saying her job is to save.
• 1:18:58
  Her. But I think you can be smart
• 1:19:00
  about doing both. It's not about.
• 1:19:01
  You're a spender. Is your husband the same way?
• 1:19:04
  I I think we're both spenders in a, in a way that you.
• 1:19:06
  Know it's very frustrating when one of you is a spender, 1 of
• 1:19:08
  you is a saver that that. No, no, yeah, I, I, I agree.
• 1:19:11
  Because, like, shopping on Sundays would be so boring if we
• 1:19:14
  might. That's how couples get into
• 1:19:15
  fights. The the number one thing couples
• 1:19:16
  fight about is finances. That's the number one thing.
• 1:19:19
  That they oh, I agree, I agree like that can be a major concern
• 1:19:22
  sometimes, but I think that it works for me and where I balance
• 1:19:25
  like what is it that I'm putting away?
• 1:19:27
  What is it I'm allowed to spend I work really hard right and so
• 1:19:30
  I want to be able to live that life and where if I'm working
• 1:19:32
  this hard, I need to enjoy life too good for you.
• 1:19:34
  So it goes both ways. I like.
• 1:19:35
  It I like it, you won't hear me complain.
• 1:19:39
  This was a lot of fun. Yeah.
• 1:19:40
  This I I love getting to know you more on a personal level and
• 1:19:44
  hearing you guys get to know each other.
• 1:19:46
  I'm still going to share the videos from back in the day with
• 1:19:48
  Oshi because I think he'll have a good laugh about it.
• 1:19:50
  Especially me because I was a little bit involved.
• 1:19:52
  Then I we're going. To we're going to make a.
• 1:19:53
  Documentary, I would love to hear, see what you know, get
• 1:19:56
  some memories. Yeah, not all were good, but you
• 1:19:58
  know, some, some were fantastic, Yeah.
• 1:20:00
  To relive that a little bit. Yeah, I know that it was, it was
• 1:20:02
  fun times and and Speaking of fun times, this was fun and
• 1:20:05
  thank you so much for joining. Us Thank you so much for having
• 1:20:07
  me. And I look forward to seeing you
• 1:20:08
  at more trades chose and doing good all around the world.
• 1:20:11
  And thank you again. Yeah, yeah, very nice things,
• 1:20:13
  Figgy. It's a wrap.
• 1:20:14
  Thank you so much. What a fantastic episode that
• 1:20:17
  was getting to know Figgy, her background, her business, the
• 1:20:22
  world that she lived in, the world that she's currently
• 1:20:24
  living in. The notes that I made is it
• 1:20:26
  started and talking about greed versus green.
• 1:20:29
  I love that we're talking about a lot of things that we figured
• 1:20:33
  out is anger and when people talk and just not letting the
• 1:20:36
  words hurt you, which is something that you know,
• 1:20:39
  resonates well with me because sometimes I hang around people
• 1:20:41
  that are just angry and they're just like, you listen to them
• 1:20:44
  and you just ignore the words because they're just words.
• 1:20:45
  Don't let it hurt you. So, and learning about her
• 1:20:48
  experience as a woman, I love that she said that it helped her
• 1:20:51
  because I'm a big fan of that. Oh, she what do you take out of
• 1:20:54
  it? So I am very impressed with how
• 1:20:57
  successful Faggy has become, but not because she became
• 1:21:00
  successful. A lot of people became
• 1:21:02
  successful, but the challenges that she had to face early on,
• 1:21:06
  given that, you know, she didn't go to college, right?
• 1:21:08
  She didn't have that education that typically people have.
• 1:21:12
  So she had to overcome a lot. And also being a woman in
• 1:21:16
  healthcare, you know, I, I still believe that it is certainly a
• 1:21:19
  little bit more challenging than than for a man, just given, you
• 1:21:22
  know, our space and our environment.
• 1:21:25
  But I'm very impressed by how she didn't make herself a
• 1:21:29
  victim, right? She didn't just, you know, take
• 1:21:31
  it on the chin and say this is my law and just complain about
• 1:21:34
  it, which a lot of people do. And she actually made something
• 1:21:38
  of herself. And what I was really impressed
• 1:21:40
  with is that I got the sense that she's really in a good
• 1:21:42
  place today. She's very happy.
• 1:21:44
  And that's the ultimate thing people strive for is to just be
• 1:21:47
  happy. So if she found some recipes,
• 1:21:49
  some secret sauce to how to be happy, it's be true to yourself.
• 1:21:54
  Don't be. Don't get caught up and stuck in
• 1:21:56
  what other people want from you and other people expect of you,
• 1:21:59
  even your parents, even your family, which is the hardest
• 1:22:03
  people to walk away from. Nobody wants to disappoint their
• 1:22:06
  family. Nobody wants to be a failure in
• 1:22:08
  their parents eyes. So it was very brave of her,
• 1:22:12
  very courageous of her that she went out and she forged her own
• 1:22:16
  path. I mean, she went through a
• 1:22:18
  marriage, she got divorced and then she married again and she
• 1:22:21
  has kids. And you know, all of this could
• 1:22:24
  have potentially never have happened if she didn't make
• 1:22:27
  certain decisions in her lifetime.
• 1:22:29
  And I'm, I really shudder to think how many other people are
• 1:22:32
  out there in the world that aren't the best versions of
• 1:22:35
  themselves because they haven't made certain difficult
• 1:22:39
  decisions, but necessary decisions.
• 1:22:41
  So for me, I hope our listeners, anybody that's struggling
• 1:22:46
  internally, anybody that you know, questions, should I,
• 1:22:48
  shouldn't I go for it, take that risk, do it because if you
• 1:22:53
  don't, you're going to live with that question your whole life.
• 1:22:55
  And I think that is the most painful thing that someone can
• 1:22:58
  experience it. For me, that was something that
• 1:23:00
  I really, really enjoyed, you know, talking us through with
• 1:23:03
  Peggy. I agree and I love that that's
• 1:23:05
  where the None of Your Business podcast is heading, talking
• 1:23:07
  about professional personal lives and growing and staying
• 1:23:10
  positive and being happy amongst all of our anxieties and we're
• 1:23:14
  learning and growing together. Please don't forget to like,
• 1:23:17
  subscribe, follow. Thank you again, Prime source
• 1:23:19
  and to all of our listeners and their feedback.
• 1:23:21
  We love it. See you next time.