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Why Narcissistic Moms CLING To Their Children · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  What's going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we only talking about why narcissistic mothers tend to
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  cling to their children. Why do they?
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  Why are they so clingy with their kids?
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  Why they never let their kids become adults and grow up?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammond.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Company. Ooh, welcome back for I told
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  y'all. I don't know.
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  I'll be jamming behind the scenes with the theme music
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  playing. I'll be just dancing behind the
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  scene. I have to get my dance in.
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  Let me dance. Just let me dance.
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  But yeah, y'all, before we hop deep into today's episode, check
• 0:50
  out the kids book. Remember, it's not your fault.
• 0:52
  It's on Amazon. Check it out.
• 0:53
  If you already got the book, I appreciate you buying it.
• 0:55
  Also, leave me a good review. He did a good review on that
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  for. I appreciate it y'all.
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  But yes, y'all these toxic narcissistic mothers.
• 1:02
  So I'd normally so I know a lot of people asking me to do videos
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  and stuff like that about narcissistic kids and parents
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  and stuff like that. Yeah, but people don't watch it.
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  Like these are the the the the least rated video I had.
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  I had a analysis on my channel and the people, the videos
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  people watch the least or videos about self afford narcissism
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  therapy and parenting kids and narcissists Co parenting.
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  Like those are the worst videos. It's crazy.
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  But it seems like those are the most requested videos.
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  Narcissistic mothers, narcissistic in laws and things
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  like that. It's kind of crazy, but like it,
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  it's just wow. But like, yeah, here we go.
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  Narcissistic mothers. Yeah.
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  Can fathers be narcissists too? Yes, absolutely.
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  And most like if you look at this, the scale of narcissism
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  there's, they say narcissistic personality disorder is more
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  likely to occur, occur in men and women.
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  So technically speaking, and based on that, based on that
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  right there, they're more narcissistic men than women.
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  But this could also apply to narcissistic fathers as well.
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  I'm just going to say mothers, right, because mothers tend to
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  do this more than fathers, but we can get on to that right
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  there. Narcissistic mothers, why do
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  they so cling to their kids? Why do they just refuse?
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  A lot of narcissist and mothers refuse to let their kids grow up
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  and become adults, Right. It's it's crazy, isn't it?
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  Y'all be like that. Like, yeah, like, why the hell
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  do they keep doing it? Like my narcissistic partner,
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  his mom just always super involved in our lives.
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  Like my narcissistic, like mother-in-law just won't let
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  them go. It's so many things that
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  happened in these situations right here.
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  Yeah. So this is the stuff right here.
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  This is the stuff right here that goes on.
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  This is the type of stuff that happens.
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  So many narcissistic people out here are doing this type of
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  stuff. They really, really are right.
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  They like narcissistic parents. They just refuse to let them go.
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  They refuse to just they refuse to let them go.
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  They refuse to release them because it's always a form of
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  consistent narcissistic supply. Yeah, just say y'all
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  narcissistic parents. You know, the the easiest way to
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  get supplies, you know, for for a lot of people is to have
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  children. You know what I mean?
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  You can get partners, but like kids are always going to be
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  there. Kids are dependent upon you.
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  They can't go anywhere without you.
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  So these are like them. They're permanent markers in my
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  life for supply and validation. So if I can keep them attached
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  to me, if I can stay attached to them, I could always get this
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  supply. I can always get this
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  validation, right? I can always have this, there's
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  this form of narcissistic supply or validation consistently,
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  constantly. It would it's just an unending
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  source, right? It just will not go away.
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  It won't go away. It can't go away because I won't
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  let it, right? This happens to so many people
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  in these situations, y'all, It really does one of those things
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  that consistently happen. I know people are just like,
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  wait, this is kind of crazy. Like they because like, why
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  would I let my supply go? You see what I'm saying?
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  Narcissistic mothers are super clean.
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  They can be super clean to their kids.
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  That's why like when you when you first meet them, they might
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  pretend to like you, right? They might pretend to be loved
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  to the fact that their their son or daughter has found a partner
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  that they love and care about. Like my baby's all growing up.
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  They're going to start their own family.
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  So they have their own kids. Deep down, they're like this.
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  You don't do that, You know, that deep voice within is
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  bubbling. The deep voice within is
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  bubbling to the surface. You're right.
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  You know what I mean? That's habit that's going on,
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  that's occurring so much for people, right?
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  So I tell people in these situations, this is what you're
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  going to have to deal with sometimes, y'all?
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  This is the person that you're going to have to deal with.
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  This is a space that you're going to have to fall into with
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  these abusive, manipulative people because a lot of times
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  they're going to just refuse to let them go and they're going to
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  make your life harder. They'll pretend to like you at
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  1st to get into your good graces, but then they'll just
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  try to try to keep you separated from their son or daughter,
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  right? They'll just always try to be
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  over there, be able to have a key to your house and pop up
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  when they want to. They'll always, you know, try to
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  make sure that their son or daughter puts them ahead of you.
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  They'll always do little things to try to make you to make you
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  seem like you can. They're competing with you.
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  They're, they're like, imagine competing with somebody's parent
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  for their love, which happens to somebody.
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  I know so many, so many people like Lee, you just hit the nail
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  on that. You just hit the the nail on the
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  head with the hammer or the jackhammer or the screw or
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  whatever the case may be, because I feel like I'm
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  competing with my narcissistic partner's mom all the time.
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  Like see, what's not making you going to leave your mom
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  stranded? I know your, your husband or
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  wife needs you, but he going to leave your mom stranded.
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  I need you too. I birth you.
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  They make you like this is like they, they that's going to be
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  I'm going to that in a few minutes, but this will this will
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  go through in their mind. They don't want to lose that
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  permanent source of supply. Even if they are married, even
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  if they have a partner of their own, you know, even if they have
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  other kids. If you married a narcissistic
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  mother's golden child or date them, The golden child is the is
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  the, the most, the the strongest form of supply for narcissistic
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  parents, right? So if they go, if you married
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  their golden child, I know I'm laughing, but it ain't funny
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  because they're going to try to make your life so damn hard.
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  They just are. They're going to make you.
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  They're going to make your life extremely difficult because
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  you're taking away their main source of validation.
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  You're trying to take away the kid that might look most.
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  You might take it away. The kid that they live most
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  vicariously through, the kid that they get the most supply
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  from, the kid that brings them the most pride and validation to
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  them. You're marrying that.
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  You're going to take that away from me over my dead
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  narcissistic corpse. You will hell no.
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  They're not going to let you do that, y'all.
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  They're going to refuse to let you do that.
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  They're they're going to fight tooth, nail, tooth, nail, claw,
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  hook, foot, whatever the situation may be, they're going
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  to fight to keep that going on. They just are.
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  This is what's going to happen. They're going to fight to keep
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  that going on right there, right.
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  This is the space that you fall into when you're dealing with a
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  manipulative, abusive person. They're going to fight to keep
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  that, that sort of that source of narcissistic supply going.
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  But I'll say this as well, y'all, another reason that they
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  don't want to let it go, let that person go is because they
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  feel like another reason they're so clingy is because they feel
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  like their kids owe them a debt, owe them a life debt.
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  Like you can't take away my this, this person that you're
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  about to marry or have kids with.
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  They owe me a life debt. I birth them, I raised them, I
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  sacrificed with them so they always owe me something.
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  So you can't take away, you know, you can't take away
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  somebody that's in debt to me. They can't be in debt to you.
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  They got to be in look, right of first refusal, right?
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  You know what I mean? The lien, but I got the first
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  lien position. You know how somebody like they
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  put a mechanic's lien on your house.
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  If like you get some work done in your house and then you
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  refuse to pay the mechanic and they put a lien in your house
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  that they type of stuff first. They they go in first place.
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  They want first place on the lien, you know, in first place
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  on the, they want first place on the, on the lien holders,
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  whatever. So they get paid back first.
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  They always want to be in first position.
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  So they're always going to be Vietnam there be clingy as hell
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  to their kids. You know, they don't want you to
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  take away that form of that permanent source of narcissistic
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  supply. They don't want you to do that.
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  That's very, very difficult for them to reconcile with, to deal
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  with. So they want to keep their kids
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  around as be and be clingy and annoying as possible.
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  And then when you try to tell your partner to stand up to that
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  narcissistic mother, Oh my goodness, boy, they're going to
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  play the victim. Victimhood.
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  You never used to be like this. They don't change you change
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  that you got with them. They're going to accuse you of
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  changing since you've gotten with your husband or wife or
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  your boyfriend or girlfriend, whoever this is your partner,
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  right? They're going to accuse you of
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  changing and try to make you feel bad for holding them
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  accountable for their actions. Like they can do no wrong.
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  Even if they're, you know, doing stuff with the kids wrong, even
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  if they're like trying to raise the kids exactly how they raised
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  you. But you don't want that and your
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  partner doesn't want that. They will still try to be mad as
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  hell at you and be angry as hell at you and just be clingy and
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  just make it just play the victim, y'all.
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  They're so clingy because they feel like they, their kids owe
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  them and this the, they feel like this is the best form of
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  narcissistic supply that they're going to get.
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  Could there be some emotionally pancestral, we'll say like
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  pancestral, remove the pee emotionally pancestral stuff
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  going on? Absolutely.
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  Yeah. It's like not only do they play
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  the role of the son or daughter is narcissistic son, husband,
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  narcissistic daughter, wife, whatever situation may be they
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  they get, they get too close and tied emotionally to their
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  children. So they're super clingy to them
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  because they use their kids to emotionally regulate themselves,
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  which is awful. You have a parent that's using
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  their children to emotionally regulate themselves.
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  That is an awful, awful thing to do.
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  It's an awful, awful thing to experience.
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  It's an awful, awful thing to be a part of and the witness.
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  And if your partner's going through it, yeah, they have to
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  be able to set boundaries with their parent, with their mother.
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  You know what I'm saying? With a clingy ass mom, or this
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  is going, they're going to pay the victim.
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  They're going to make you feel like you owe them something.
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  They're going to make your life hard.
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  It's going to be hard to marry. There's so many people I've
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  talked to that want to divorce their partners because they have
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  a clingy, abusive, emotionally manipulative, narcissistic
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  mother-in-law that just refuses to leave the situation.
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  There's like, I can't, I, I, I love my partner, right?
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  I just can't, I can't stand the hole that his parents has have
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  on him. I can't stand the hole that her
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  her mom has on her. Just won't let her go, just
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  won't let her be an adult. Always wants to infantilize them
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  and treats them, treats them like a kid.
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  They won't don't want them to grow up.
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  They always look at you as a baby.
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  You mean this happens to so many people, y'all, It really really
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  does and I, I hate it. They have to better set
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  boundaries. They have to be able to stand up
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  to them and does that always work?
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  No, but it's something that you don't want to get into this
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  competition, this push and pull back and forth type of stuff,
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  because a lot of times they'll they'll fight to the very end
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  tooth tooth, nail, claw, teeth, everything anyway, y'all hit hit
• 10:56
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• 10:58
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• 10:59
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• 11:03
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• 11:05
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• 11:07
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• 11:09
  out. Peace.
• 11:10
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:12
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• 11:15
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• 11:26
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• 11:27
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 11:29
  video. Peace.
• 11:31
  Oops, peace.