Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - I'm Good Mr. Commissioner

Transcript

Hour 3 - I'm Good Mr. Commissioner · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Ding.
0:01
Speaker 2: No, it's our number three, our three, and here we
0:07
Speaker 2: go of our number three, The Ben Malor Show Podcast
0:10
Speaker 2: original recipes. We can talk the hind legs off a donkey.
0:15
Speaker 2: Speaking of donkeys, Rob Manford, the Commissioner of Baseball, says
0:18
Speaker 2: fans are concerned over baseball's lack of a salarycap. How
0:23
Speaker 2: does that one hit you? Also, are you surprised that
0:25
Speaker 2: the name of the person who didn't vote for each
0:28
Speaker 2: row for the Hall of Fame has not gotten out yet?
0:31
Speaker 2: And do you believe that sho hal Tani really had
0:34
Speaker 2: no idea that his interpreter was gamblings interpreter has now
0:39
Speaker 2: been sentenced almost five years in jail. We'll talk about
0:42
Speaker 2: that as well. Coming up right now here, it is
0:44
Speaker 2: our number three. Yeah, I'm good, mister Commissioner, I'm good.
0:51
Speaker 2: Welcome in the beginning of another hour of The Ben
0:56
Speaker 2: Mallor Show. We are in the air everywhere, right in
1:03
Speaker 2: your face as we rock on coast stutcoast, Porter tovorter
1:07
Speaker 2: and beyond on the vast and arolicingly powerful microphones of FSR,
1:15
Speaker 2: amminating live from the bowl, just the Bowl of Cherries.
1:21
Speaker 2: We're broadcasting live from the Tyraq dot com studios Tyraq
1:24
Speaker 2: dot com will help you get there and unmatched selection,
1:28
Speaker 2: fast free shipping, free road hazard protection, and over ten
1:32
Speaker 2: thousand recommended installers. Tire iraq dot com the way tire
1:40
Speaker 2: buying should be. I know that Emmett the blind Seahawk fan,
1:46
Speaker 2: big fan of that number ten thousand, So our lead
1:50
Speaker 2: to begin this hour, we'll change it up a little bit.
1:53
Speaker 2: I thought the story in baseball was interesting. We'll get
1:55
Speaker 2: back to the football later on. The MVP award handed out.
1:59
Speaker 2: Here we go, so Buffalo is Josh Allen was not
2:04
Speaker 2: the player that won the honors in terms of being
2:08
Speaker 2: the All Pro, but he was the MVP. Very rarely
2:12
Speaker 2: does that happen, but it did happen. So Josh Allen
2:15
Speaker 2: your MVP over Lamar Jackson. Some controversy on that, and
2:20
Speaker 2: the Hall of Fame voters actually got it right. Very
2:24
Speaker 2: rarely did they get it right. Usually they have no backbone,
2:26
Speaker 2: but they got it right. As Eli Manning, the Punk,
2:31
Speaker 2: did not get in on the first ballot. Mister five hundred.
2:34
Speaker 2: He led the NFL in one category during his career,
2:37
Speaker 2: that would be interceptions, and he is not in the
2:41
Speaker 2: Hall of Fame. But We'll start with baseball. Our lead
2:43
Speaker 2: from the owners meetings. That's tom Beach, Florida. It's fair
2:49
Speaker 2: to say that the Major League Baseball owners do not
2:51
Speaker 2: get together in Appleton, Wisconsin. No, they're going somewhere with
2:55
Speaker 2: sunshines where they're going. So they went to Palm Beach.
2:59
Speaker 2: The Aristo Crats of baseball took care of some league
3:02
Speaker 2: business before spring training gets started. This weekend the Chicago Cubs.
3:09
Speaker 2: On Sunday, pitchers and catchers will report the Cubs the
3:12
Speaker 2: first team on how great is that? How happy are
3:16
Speaker 2: the players? On Super Bowl Sunday. They have to show
3:19
Speaker 2: up and take their physicals and all that stuff. But
3:21
Speaker 2: that's the schedule as spring training will get underway. Now,
3:25
Speaker 2: some news from the head clown of Major League Baseball.
3:29
Speaker 2: If you've not heard the Commissioner, Rob Manford, we call
3:34
Speaker 2: a man fraud. Rob Manford says he is getting emails
3:39
Speaker 2: from fans who are concerned over the lack of a
3:43
Speaker 2: salary cap. All of this because of the Dodgers off
3:48
Speaker 2: season for the Ages, and this has sparked the Commissioner
3:52
Speaker 2: of Baseball to talk about whether or not he brought
3:57
Speaker 2: up the salary cap. And there is a expiration of
4:01
Speaker 2: the cb A, the collective Bargaining Agreement. Three words that
4:07
Speaker 2: never sound good on radio. Collective Bargaining Agreement in December
4:10
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty six. Now Manford talked out of both
4:14
Speaker 2: sides of his mouth because he said the fans are
4:18
Speaker 2: letting him know that they want a salarycap. And then
4:20
Speaker 2: he also said, the Dodgers are not ruining baseball with
4:26
Speaker 2: all this money. They're spending three hundred and eighty nine
4:29
Speaker 2: million dollars payroll, but after the taxes are paid and
4:33
Speaker 2: all that, it's like five hundred million. However, a Manford said,
4:39
Speaker 2: he said, this is the issue that we need to
4:41
Speaker 2: be vigilant on. The commissioner stated, we need to pay
4:44
Speaker 2: attention to it and need to determine whether there are
4:47
Speaker 2: things that can be done to take care of those
4:51
Speaker 2: concerns and make sure that we have a competitive and
4:54
Speaker 2: healthy game going forward. All right, so let us discuss
4:59
Speaker 2: a question. Rob Manford, the Weasley Commissioner of Baseball, says,
5:05
Speaker 2: fans are concerned. They are concerned, they want a salary
5:09
Speaker 2: cap because of the Dodgers. How does that one hit you?
5:12
Speaker 2: How does that hit you? So I've got Church vacuum
5:17
Speaker 2: and bumpkin, and we will combine all of these things together,
5:23
Speaker 2: and we are going to lay down on the grass,
5:28
Speaker 2: is what we're going to do, and take a nap.
5:29
Speaker 2: All right. So, first of all, Rob Manford yet again
5:34
Speaker 2: has a lot of hutzpa, a lot of mister commissioner,
5:39
Speaker 2: May I advise you, unsolicited that you are full of
5:43
Speaker 2: horse manure. You are the fertilizer man. All of a sudden,
5:47
Speaker 2: we are supposed to believe, imagine if you will, a
5:50
Speaker 2: world We're Rob Manford, the worst commissioner in Major League
5:54
Speaker 2: Baseball history, is worried about fans' concerns. The same guy
5:59
Speaker 2: that brought us ghost runners to Major League Baseball, the
6:04
Speaker 2: clock and all the other nonsense that has been put
6:08
Speaker 2: into baseball. This guy is worried about what the fan wants,
6:14
Speaker 2: right and Manford he wants to be vigilant on this
6:18
Speaker 2: issue because he needs to take care of the fans. And,
6:22
Speaker 2: as the Great Dana Carvey used to say when he
6:25
Speaker 2: played the character on Saturday Night Live, the Church Lady, well,
6:29
Speaker 2: isn't that convenient? Mister Commissioner. Rob Manford is flirting publicly
6:34
Speaker 2: with a salary cap, supposedly because he got a few
6:38
Speaker 2: complaints from grumbling fans, yet he also said what the
6:41
Speaker 2: Dodgers are doing is not ruining baseball. Talk about talking
6:45
Speaker 2: out of both sides of the mouth. I find it
6:47
Speaker 2: hard to believe, though, that Rob Manford actually checks email
6:51
Speaker 2: from the Great Unwashed. I don't think he does that. Also,
6:55
Speaker 2: I find it hard to believe that Rob Manford gives
6:58
Speaker 2: a rats ass about what the fans want, because, if
7:01
Speaker 2: I'm not mistaken, and maybe I'm wrong on this, weren't
7:04
Speaker 2: the fans rebelling against baseball? Wasn't there an uprising a
7:08
Speaker 2: few years back? Because while Rob Manfraud was the commissioner
7:13
Speaker 2: under his nose, there were teams that called up and said,
7:17
Speaker 2: mister Commissioner, there's a team they play in Texas. They're
7:20
Speaker 2: cheating and we'd like you to take care of them,
7:23
Speaker 2: mister commissioner. And mister Commissioner said, okay, I'm going to investigate.
7:27
Speaker 2: I'm going to bring in the top investigators from Major
7:29
Speaker 2: League Baseball. We're going to get to the bottom of this.
7:30
Speaker 2: We're going to push the limit. So they sent in
7:32
Speaker 2: their investigators and they said, you know what, we investigated.
7:36
Speaker 2: No signs at any point the Astros are cheating, no signs.
7:43
Speaker 2: It was only after a heroic member of the cheating
7:48
Speaker 2: a Stros lit the fire and said, wait a minute,
7:53
Speaker 2: I was there. They were cheating and here's how doing it,
7:57
Speaker 2: and so then he had to retreat. But even after that,
8:00
Speaker 2: even with all the evidence, video after video, bang bang,
8:05
Speaker 2: whistle whistle, even after all that, Rob Manford did not
8:09
Speaker 2: do a damn thing, not a damn thing to remedy
8:13
Speaker 2: the buzzers, the trash cans in Houston that they used
8:17
Speaker 2: that contraband to win an illegal championship that does not count,
8:22
Speaker 2: and the fans were upset. I was upset. Everyone was upset.
8:25
Speaker 2: And Rob Manford, what did he do? The worst commissioner
8:30
Speaker 2: in baseball history, Rob Manford, in the middle of this storm.
8:34
Speaker 2: Did he say, I'm gonna take care of this. I'm
8:35
Speaker 2: gonna put something out there. This is not right. No.
8:38
Speaker 2: Rob Manford called the World Series trophy just a piece
8:42
Speaker 2: of metal, just a piece of metal, and said Baseball
8:46
Speaker 2: did not need to get the trophy back from the
8:49
Speaker 2: Astros for their tainted twenty seventeen World Series. He said
8:53
Speaker 2: the idea of an asterisk or asking for a piece
8:56
Speaker 2: of metal back, was a futile act. And now all
9:00
Speaker 2: of a sudden, we're supposed to believe that this same
9:03
Speaker 2: commissioner who didn't think it was worth his time to
9:06
Speaker 2: save the integrity of baseball, that same commissioner now is
9:10
Speaker 2: worried about a few fans calling up and emailing him
9:13
Speaker 2: and complaining, what is his email address? How do you
9:16
Speaker 2: email the commissioner? I'd like to email them my thoughts.
9:19
Speaker 2: I know Rob Manford's a fan of my work, because
9:22
Speaker 2: every time I mention his name, we are called from
9:25
Speaker 2: Major League Baseball upset with something I said. Now. Secondly,
9:29
Speaker 2: the Hall of Fame, the Baseball Hall of Fame. The
9:33
Speaker 2: Hall of Fame voter heard around the world has not
9:36
Speaker 2: been seen. A man of mystery or is it a
9:40
Speaker 2: woman of mystery? The Hall of Fame voter who said no, no,
9:43
Speaker 2: no no no no no, no, no, no no, I'm
9:47
Speaker 2: not going to vote for InChI row Suzuki the Mariner
9:50
Speaker 2: legend for the Hall of Fame. Now that voter is unknown.
9:55
Speaker 2: Do do do do do? It is still a mystery.
9:59
Speaker 2: Three eight, one hundred and twenty one ballots were made
10:03
Speaker 2: public of men, women, and not children by the baseball scribes,
10:10
Speaker 2: and none of them the ballot that people wants. Are
10:14
Speaker 2: you surprised? Are you surprised that the name of the
10:19
Speaker 2: person who did not vote for Mariner Legend Chiro for
10:23
Speaker 2: the Hall of Fame hasn't gotten out? He's surprised, So
10:27
Speaker 2: I am nod in my head. Yes, I'm nodding my head.
10:30
Speaker 3: Yes.
10:31
Speaker 2: And you break this one down. The Baseball Writers Association
10:36
Speaker 2: of America the BWAA. These guys are run like a
10:41
Speaker 2: mob operation. They defend and protect their own. They won't
10:44
Speaker 2: allow anyone else to vote for these awards. The broadcasters can,
10:48
Speaker 2: it's only the scribes that do. And that's the part
10:54
Speaker 2: not only of the writers, but it's also they won't share.
10:57
Speaker 2: But it's also major League Baseball. It's absurd, and the
11:01
Speaker 2: way many of these guys carry themselves is unbecoming. But
11:06
Speaker 2: you would assume that someone by this point would have
11:10
Speaker 2: had loose lips. Multiple people, multiple people have access to
11:16
Speaker 2: who the name is. There are people that know the
11:18
Speaker 2: name of the voter. The mystery voter hasn't gotten out yet.
11:23
Speaker 2: They're in the twilight zone still, and it's remained vacuum sealed,
11:28
Speaker 2: which tells me the scribe is being protected. The scribe
11:33
Speaker 2: is being sheltered. Now there's speculation to it is. Most
11:37
Speaker 2: people seem to think it's an old geezer that a
11:40
Speaker 2: lot of the baseball scribes. You're a baseball writer for
11:43
Speaker 2: thirty years and then you're out of the business, but
11:46
Speaker 2: you still keep your Hall of Fame vote. You're not
11:49
Speaker 2: an active baseball writer, but you still vote for Lall
11:51
Speaker 2: of Fame. Isn't somebody that either too old and didn't
11:53
Speaker 2: realize it, or maybe there's some hardline, hard oh guy
11:57
Speaker 2: that just doesn't vote for anybody in the first ballot,
12:00
Speaker 2: But either way, the name hasn't gotten now. Now. I
12:02
Speaker 2: do believe eventually the name will get out, and it
12:05
Speaker 2: might not be until someone's on their deathbed, but for
12:07
Speaker 2: now the weight will continue, all right. Meanwhile, final thought,
12:11
Speaker 2: big sentencing day on Thursday. E pay miss Ohara. We
12:17
Speaker 2: know that name because this guy liked the gamble, and
12:21
Speaker 2: boy did he liked the gamble. Epei Mizuhara was the
12:24
Speaker 2: interpreter the secret keeper for sho he Otani. He was
12:29
Speaker 2: sentenced to nearly five years almost five years at the
12:33
Speaker 2: Gray Bar Hotel, all expenses paid for stealing about seventeen
12:40
Speaker 2: million from Dodger Superstar Show hey Otani, and he also
12:46
Speaker 2: has to repay his gambling debts. So Otani, the former
12:52
Speaker 2: interpreter has He's been given a fifty seven month sentence
12:57
Speaker 2: and three years of probay supervised release. He has to
13:02
Speaker 2: pay almost seventeen million in restitution to Otani and one
13:09
Speaker 2: point one million to the irs. Yes, there is a
13:14
Speaker 2: better chance I win an Olympic gold medal in track
13:18
Speaker 2: and field than Otani and the irs get that money.
13:22
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, now, do you believe, though, let's get
13:26
Speaker 2: to the heala monster in the room. Do you believe
13:29
Speaker 2: that Shoeotani really had no idea his interpreter was gambling.
13:36
Speaker 2: Now that this sentence has come down, have you changed
13:38
Speaker 2: your position? So? I have not changed my position. I
13:42
Speaker 2: said all along. I believe there's much more to this story.
13:44
Speaker 2: I think Otani was aware, and the only other possible
13:50
Speaker 2: outcome is that Otani is Mozart with the bat and
13:56
Speaker 2: he's a country bumpkin in life. Like at some point
14:01
Speaker 2: this went on for several years, and you can get
14:04
Speaker 2: away with something for a little bit, but at some
14:07
Speaker 2: point don't you check to see where your money is.
14:11
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not great with my my money stuff
14:14
Speaker 2: I call it adulting, but even I like keep track
14:17
Speaker 2: of it. I get depressed when I look at it,
14:19
Speaker 2: but I still keep track of it. And and Otani
14:22
Speaker 2: like not realizing that something wasn't kosher here. So either
14:28
Speaker 2: he's lying there's more to the story. People are lying
14:31
Speaker 2: for him. He's too big to fail because he's the
14:33
Speaker 2: face of baseball at tany Or, he's the village at
14:36
Speaker 2: eat and he's functionally illiterate. But we looked at the
14:40
Speaker 2: numbers again, and Ipe Misuara, the interpreter, made nineteen thousand
14:47
Speaker 2: bets in a two year period with a bookie. He
14:52
Speaker 2: ended up with about forty million dollars in debt, they estimate.
14:58
Speaker 2: And this guy was around Tani all day and all night.
15:03
Speaker 2: I don't think they slept together, but they weren't far apart.
15:06
Speaker 2: He had unfiltered access to Otani, meaning he was like
15:11
Speaker 2: in the dugout with Otani. He was when Otani was
15:14
Speaker 2: in the locker room, he was in the locker room,
15:16
Speaker 2: he was everywhere. So I've done some malor math. I'd
15:19
Speaker 2: like to share with the class the malormth and I
15:22
Speaker 2: think I'm right on this. So if you do the
15:24
Speaker 2: malor math, let's say that he was making an average
15:28
Speaker 2: work the way it works nineteen thousand over two years,
15:31
Speaker 2: it's an average of twenty six bets per day if
15:33
Speaker 2: my math is right. So let's take away eight hours
15:36
Speaker 2: a day. Now, I sleep about five I sleep about
15:39
Speaker 2: five hours a day, but some people, most people sleep
15:43
Speaker 2: eight hours, so there's twenty four hours in a day.
15:45
Speaker 2: Let's say you sleep eight hours, So then you take
15:48
Speaker 2: away those eight hours in the twenty four you left
15:50
Speaker 2: with sixteen hours in the day. So you're awake sixteen
15:53
Speaker 2: hours out of the twenty four hours. That means, at
15:55
Speaker 2: twenty six bets per day, you are averaging one point
15:59
Speaker 2: six bet per waking hour. Now, I'm sure some of
16:04
Speaker 2: those you're eating scrambled eggs for breakfast, or maybe you're
16:08
Speaker 2: eating a nice hogi for lunch, or some chicken fingers
16:11
Speaker 2: for dinner, and so you're not betting well that's going on,
16:14
Speaker 2: but one point six bets per waking hour. And yeah,
16:20
Speaker 2: the only way Otani gets that money back is if
16:24
Speaker 2: our guy, miss O'Hara, can win a forty five leg parlay,
16:30
Speaker 2: then and only then can he get his money back.
16:33
Speaker 2: Otherwise you're just gonna have to grin and Barrett. It
16:36
Speaker 2: is the Ben Mallor Show, as we are rolling, rolling,
16:41
Speaker 2: rolling through the overnight hours. If you'd like to be part,
16:45
Speaker 2: you can join us right now at eight seven seven
16:48
Speaker 2: ninety nine on Fox Has eight seven seven nine nine
16:52
Speaker 2: six sixty three sixty nine. Later this hour, we're gonna
16:54
Speaker 2: have Big Ben's joke lame Jokes of the week. We'll
16:57
Speaker 2: have those. We still have to get to Camp Snoopy,
17:00
Speaker 2: which was from a previous hour, but I spent about
17:03
Speaker 2: ten minutes talking to that dopey Lance to bus driver.
17:07
Speaker 2: I'm blaming him. I'm blaming Lance to the bus driver.
17:10
Speaker 2: So because of that, we were unable to get to
17:13
Speaker 2: the big payoff, the big payoff that we wanted. So
17:16
Speaker 2: we didn't get to that. So we'll have we'll have
17:19
Speaker 2: Camp Snoopy. That'll be coming up in a couple of minutes.
17:22
Speaker 2: But right now it is time for the Mallor Riddle
17:28
Speaker 2: of the Day. That's right, the Mallor Riddle of the Day,
17:32
Speaker 2: and here we go. Safety Chauncey Gardner Johnson says the
17:38
Speaker 2: Eagles were interested in drafting him out of Florida, but
17:42
Speaker 2: he blanked at a Chicki's and pets. That's a restaurant
17:47
Speaker 2: if you're not familiar anyway, he blanked at a Chicky
17:50
Speaker 2: in Peach and scared the Eagles off again. Safety Chauncey
17:55
Speaker 2: Gardner Johnson said this week the Eagles were interested in
17:58
Speaker 2: drafting him out of Florida, but he blanked at a
18:01
Speaker 2: Chicky's and peats during a team meeting or a draft meeting,
18:05
Speaker 2: and the Eagles were scared off. That is the malor
18:11
Speaker 2: riddle of the day. The answer, we'll get to it
18:13
Speaker 2: and we will do it next.
18:16
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
18:18
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
18:22
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
18:25
Speaker 2: Bill Miller and you were hanging out all night every night.
18:28
Speaker 2: It is the Ben Mahlor Show. And don't forget that
18:33
Speaker 2: the show I mentioned this earlier. According to one of
18:37
Speaker 2: the industry websites of the show is number six hundred
18:42
Speaker 2: in sports radio. Something like that. Ben, I'll tell you more.
18:46
Speaker 2: And also you can interact with the show on X
18:50
Speaker 2: at Ben Mahlor. That is at Ben Mahlor on X.
18:55
Speaker 2: Also say loo to Lorraina, the FSR Tech queen right
19:00
Speaker 2: over there. She's I'm told paying a lot in tariffs.
19:05
Speaker 2: She's not happy about that. By American he wanted to
19:09
Speaker 2: pay tariff's and Coople loop right over there, Coople loop
19:12
Speaker 2: Uh Bronco fan and now back to the talk fiesta. Yeah,
19:20
Speaker 2: and Bill, Bill, you fed up there. It's not six hundred,
19:24
Speaker 2: it's number sixteen, number sixteen. We're number sixteen. If you
19:28
Speaker 2: want to see more about that, there are links available
19:33
Speaker 2: on the Facebook page which is Ben Mahler's show. Followed
19:37
Speaker 2: the show on there, Ben Malor Show on Instagram, Ben
19:41
Speaker 2: Mahllor on Fox. Check that out. Also, there'll be a
19:45
Speaker 2: new video up later today. There'll be a new video
19:49
Speaker 2: up that will highlight a trip around Universal Studios. We
19:54
Speaker 2: do the TV show from there, so we'll give you
19:56
Speaker 2: a little behind the scenes thing later today. They'll be
19:58
Speaker 2: up on social media sometime this afternoon. We've got Lame
20:02
Speaker 2: Jokes of the Week coming up later this hour, all
20:06
Speaker 2: the great lame jokes with weed Man Hippie and we've
20:10
Speaker 2: got to pay off though the mallor Riddle of the day.
20:13
Speaker 2: The mallor Riddle of the day. This is where we
20:16
Speaker 2: pretend to be somebody else and try to fill in
20:20
Speaker 2: the wordle So here it is safety. Chauncey Gardner Johnson
20:24
Speaker 2: says the Eagles were interested in drafting him out of Florida,
20:29
Speaker 2: but he blanked at a Chicky and Pete during a
20:32
Speaker 2: pre draft meeting and that scared the Eagles off. That
20:37
Speaker 2: is the question. What is the answer? And let's see
20:42
Speaker 2: does anyone know the answer? Alf the Alien Opiner says
20:49
Speaker 2: he couldn't stop watching Benny Versus the Penny on his phone.
20:53
Speaker 2: From Your Lips to God's Ears. Milkman Mike in Colorado
20:57
Speaker 2: says he let out a loud farty we got drafted
21:01
Speaker 2: higher if he'd done that. Late night drug tester says
21:04
Speaker 2: he asked for the Senior Citizens discount. O g art
21:09
Speaker 2: Puffin says Chauncey did the Charlton or the Carlton rather
21:15
Speaker 2: dance at Chicky and Pete's. He talked about Crypto. According
21:19
Speaker 2: to Fudgie in Boston, he did his Donald Duck impression
21:24
Speaker 2: from Asher who else page down Berg Dog said that
21:28
Speaker 2: the player never saw Rocky starring Sylvester Saloone. The greatest
21:34
Speaker 2: actor of our generation is what he said, who else?
21:37
Speaker 2: He started a game of dodgeball. That's pretty funny. Right
21:42
Speaker 2: in the middle of a chicky in Pete that's big.
21:44
Speaker 2: Greg in Iowa Miguel on Fire says he did not
21:48
Speaker 2: wash his hands after exiting a bathroom stall. That was
21:52
Speaker 2: the problem. Who else do we have? Page down? Andy
21:55
Speaker 2: in Lion o' wakes says he brought his own squatty
21:59
Speaker 2: potty to the restaurant. I forty Ian says he ate
22:02
Speaker 2: a black taco and had the Tennessee Trots. Lance the
22:07
Speaker 2: bus driver was not there, he jumped the shark. According
22:10
Speaker 2: to Chris and Kent Washington, the grill sergeant says it's
22:15
Speaker 2: got to be he crop dusted the room and then that'd
22:18
Speaker 2: be unfortunate. A job interview Choldon on a chicken bone
22:21
Speaker 2: from JT. The wingman robbed the place from eg Wow,
22:26
Speaker 2: he misplaced eagles from Inka Terror In Rochester, Larry de
22:31
Speaker 2: says he started doing fly Eagles Fly while doing armpit farts.
22:38
Speaker 2: Kevin says he did the eagle chant, but he sounded
22:42
Speaker 2: like the mayor of Philadelphia.
22:44
Speaker 4: Let me hear you all saying he owee, yeah, alright,
22:54
Speaker 4: go birds.
22:55
Speaker 2: Mark in Santa Monica says a garden gnome is the answer.
23:01
Speaker 2: He started doing his taxes from trucker Joe, that would
23:04
Speaker 2: be that would be a problem. Yeah, that would be
23:07
Speaker 2: a problem. Who else do we have page down? Mark
23:09
Speaker 2: says he tried to cover a fart with a cough
23:12
Speaker 2: that never works, pooped his pants from slim tim. That's
23:16
Speaker 2: his answer? Who else do we have? Page down? All right?
23:21
Speaker 2: Lorraine up, do you have an answer? The Malarulida safety
23:26
Speaker 2: Chauncey Gardner Johnson says the Eagles were interested in drafting
23:30
Speaker 2: him coming out of college in Florida, but he blanked
23:33
Speaker 2: at a chicky and pete during a meeting with team
23:37
Speaker 2: officials and that scared off the Eagles.
23:40
Speaker 1: I think he danced to the salsa while crying for
23:43
Speaker 1: his mother.
23:44
Speaker 2: Oh well, it's kind of balls a woman, but not
23:47
Speaker 2: his mom. Turns out that Chauncey Gardner Johnson says the
23:52
Speaker 2: Eagles wanted to draft him. They were interested, but he
23:54
Speaker 2: was out of the chickies and pets and while he
23:57
Speaker 2: was at a meeting with team officials, he went to
24:01
Speaker 2: pick up a chick. He went to pick up a
24:04
Speaker 2: woman while he was at I guess they question.
24:12
Speaker 1: Is that a red flag?
24:13
Speaker 2: Well, you know you might want to, you know, not
24:16
Speaker 2: when you're at the at the team facility. I guess
24:19
Speaker 2: he was at a Chicken in Petee. But you ever
24:21
Speaker 2: been to Chicken and Pete for a probably? No, it
24:23
Speaker 2: sounds like a good place to get chicken white. I've
24:25
Speaker 2: never even heard of it. It's more on the East Coast.
24:28
Speaker 2: I don't know Chicky and Pete. That's good. There's a
24:32
Speaker 2: few located. I think it's like Philadelphia. It's this was
24:35
Speaker 2: in I think Florida, but there's a I've seen him
24:37
Speaker 2: in Philly. I don't know how many states they're in. Anyway,
24:40
Speaker 2: it is the Ben Mallor Show. Let's go back to the
24:42
Speaker 2: calls and we'll have lame jokes coming up in a
24:44
Speaker 2: couple of minutes. Let's say hello to Steve in Manhattan.
24:47
Speaker 2: Hello Steven Manhattan.
24:49
Speaker 5: Welcome, Hey, what's up?
24:52
Speaker 3: Ben?
24:54
Speaker 2: Go bu Cannon go Buchanon Gob you cannon, go b
24:56
Speaker 2: Bu Cannon.
24:58
Speaker 5: No, baby, what I got?
25:02
Speaker 3: I got you?
25:05
Speaker 2: What are you doing? You're fussing around with your phone?
25:07
Speaker 2: What are you doing?
25:08
Speaker 5: Nah? Because I gotta get because I'm outside right now.
25:10
Speaker 5: I gotta get inside my car because I don't want to.
25:12
Speaker 5: I don't want to get mugged while I'm calling the show.
25:15
Speaker 2: You know, wait what play of Manhattan. Are you in
25:17
Speaker 2: wait a minute, you get mugged.
25:19
Speaker 5: Listen, you can get mugged anywhere in Manhattan, my man anywhere.
25:22
Speaker 2: I think that would be good for ratings. Actually stay
25:25
Speaker 2: outside longer. Well, wow, Loraina just said she wants you
25:29
Speaker 2: to be mugged while you're on the show.
25:32
Speaker 5: Well listen, somebody got someone once got mugg call on
25:37
Speaker 5: the Bob Grant Show. But anyway, first of all, Ben
25:40
Speaker 5: distinguished panel, expanding audience, listen, Welcome to Heath everybody, and
25:45
Speaker 5: of course the great panel that we have there. Listen,
25:49
Speaker 5: sugar Ban Simmons would just throw up bricks and everything.
25:52
Speaker 3: That's how they built the Barkley Center.
25:54
Speaker 5: A lot of nonsense going on. I'm gonna be watching
25:57
Speaker 5: you know the deal. I'm gonna be watching the Egg.
26:00
Speaker 5: I'm gonna be I'm going to have a whole goal and.
26:02
Speaker 3: To be and just watch the Super Bowl.
26:04
Speaker 5: And the Mayor of Philly can't even spell man. That's
26:08
Speaker 5: really great, isn't it. But she fits right in there.
26:11
Speaker 5: And I think one of the Triviata question answers is uh.
26:15
Speaker 5: He asks for a New York Chief steak man. He
26:17
Speaker 5: then asked for a Philly cheese steak. They put him
26:19
Speaker 5: out of the joint.
26:20
Speaker 2: Well, that would be that would be a problem that
26:22
Speaker 2: we already we were already given the answer. Though we've
26:25
Speaker 2: already you know, we've given the answer. That's bat job.
26:28
Speaker 2: Are you what? What? What? What have you been? By the way, Steven, Manhattan,
26:31
Speaker 2: I've noticed you where you don't call for like a
26:34
Speaker 2: month or two, and then all of a sudden you
26:36
Speaker 2: start calling again, like what is it? Very odd to me.
26:39
Speaker 2: You're sporadic, is what you are.
26:41
Speaker 5: Well, one person once said, I just keep calling the
26:44
Speaker 5: show till I get banned.
26:45
Speaker 3: But I've never been banned from Ben's show.
26:48
Speaker 2: I should we ban you? Should do? We need to
26:51
Speaker 2: ban you?
26:52
Speaker 5: Listen, Henny, he banned me one time, and I was
26:55
Speaker 5: on more times than when I was on before I
26:57
Speaker 5: was banned. But the thing is, you know, there's a
27:00
Speaker 5: lot of crazy stuff going on out there today.
27:02
Speaker 3: You know, I'm in the.
27:03
Speaker 5: Car now the rain, it's time.
27:04
Speaker 3: But you still could get cart jack too, you know,
27:07
Speaker 3: But who the.
27:08
Speaker 5: Hell rolls down their wind if somebody walks up to
27:10
Speaker 5: their car, you know, three four o'clock in the morning
27:12
Speaker 5: in Manhattan.
27:13
Speaker 2: You know, well, if you're gonna drive in Manhattan. This
27:16
Speaker 2: is the time to do it, because you don't have
27:17
Speaker 2: to pay that extra tax where you're driven rush hour,
27:19
Speaker 2: you got to pay that extra at all.
27:22
Speaker 5: Well, it actually it kicks in in twenty five minutes.
27:25
Speaker 5: It kicks in at five o'clock. It goes from three
27:27
Speaker 5: bananas to six bananas. It's just more of a rip off.
27:30
Speaker 5: You The New York people come on, I really just dumbed.
27:34
Speaker 2: How do they allow that? There's got to be some
27:36
Speaker 2: kind of pushback by the people in New York too,
27:38
Speaker 2: just I mean, it's so stupid. They've added that extra tax. Ridiculous.
27:42
Speaker 5: Well, I could tell you, I guarantee if you took
27:43
Speaker 5: a poll, half the people in New York City wouldn't
27:46
Speaker 5: even know what's going on. They're just they're oblivious.
27:48
Speaker 2: They just they just blindly pay more money. They're like, eh,
27:53
Speaker 2: they don't care.
27:53
Speaker 5: Well, listen, what do you think New York City basically
27:56
Speaker 5: is people are very rich and they don't care about
27:59
Speaker 5: any They don't care. Then, plus it emptied out they
28:01
Speaker 5: listen to roads are lighter.
28:03
Speaker 2: You know, right there you go, they got what they wanted.
28:05
Speaker 2: They're less people there there.
28:07
Speaker 5: And plus the other half of the people and are
28:09
Speaker 5: on government specialties and stuff, and they don't care about more.
28:12
Speaker 2: Important, more importantly, who gives about that? Have you done
28:14
Speaker 2: any phony phone calls lately? Have you done any fake
28:16
Speaker 2: phone calls?
28:17
Speaker 5: All right, I'll give you one in a second.
28:19
Speaker 3: But listen.
28:20
Speaker 5: I noticed something about listening to you recently. You listen
28:23
Speaker 5: to New York Talk radio. I know you listened to
28:26
Speaker 5: New York Talk radio. I'm not gonna don't have to
28:28
Speaker 5: bring in it for Ren's sake, on Sherlock Holmes or
28:30
Speaker 5: Dick Tracy. You definitely listen to New York Talk radio,
28:35
Speaker 5: meaning the station that come out of you.
28:37
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't. I mean I when I visit
28:40
Speaker 2: New York, I'll listen, but I don't. I don't listen
28:42
Speaker 2: on the regular. But you think I do.
28:43
Speaker 5: Come on, you don't get them. You don't get them
28:45
Speaker 5: on the internet. Come on, I can tell by you
28:47
Speaker 5: a vernacular.
28:49
Speaker 2: My vernacular. But no, I don't, actually because I actually
28:52
Speaker 2: try not to listen to a lot of sports radio
28:54
Speaker 2: because then I'll end up. I don't want to take
28:57
Speaker 2: things that aren't mine per se. So I don't know.
29:00
Speaker 3: You don't want to you don't want to bow guard it.
29:02
Speaker 2: I try not to do that. Yeah, and I if
29:04
Speaker 2: I listen to a lot, I'll end up bore guarding stuff,
29:06
Speaker 2: you know, just by osmosis, you'll start doing stuff. So
29:09
Speaker 2: I try not to. I try not do that. But
29:11
Speaker 2: but fair enough. So see, are you going to be
29:13
Speaker 2: back now, Steve or are you going to be like
29:15
Speaker 2: calling more offering vanished for another month? I don't know.
29:19
Speaker 5: I'm gonna I'll tell you about the prank, right.
29:21
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, tell me about the prank now. Steve calls
29:23
Speaker 2: up every he's a you're addicted to calling talk radio.
29:26
Speaker 2: You call a bunch of times, and sometimes you drop
29:29
Speaker 2: my name on there, which I love. That's great, and
29:31
Speaker 2: you do crazy things.
29:33
Speaker 5: Well you deserve it, you really.
29:34
Speaker 3: I told you you're good.
29:35
Speaker 5: You're in the top five or something or what the
29:37
Speaker 5: third basement of some of New York Yankey history.
29:40
Speaker 2: Listen.
29:40
Speaker 5: I called the Howie Caught show, right, so I spoke
29:44
Speaker 5: to him, right those people, he's up the well his
29:47
Speaker 5: shows originates out of Beantown, but I think he's down
29:50
Speaker 5: south now. He ran out of there, like like you
29:52
Speaker 5: know what. But so I called him. But I can't
29:55
Speaker 5: use my name because they don't let Steve from Manhattan
29:57
Speaker 5: on only you and maybe two other guys me out
30:00
Speaker 5: of all the shows I called. So I call it
30:02
Speaker 5: to his show, right, and I said something funny politically,
30:08
Speaker 5: and then you know when they when they hang up
30:10
Speaker 5: on you, that doesn't mean you're all. Your line has
30:12
Speaker 5: been hung up on it. So I'm be Ten minutes
30:14
Speaker 5: later he goes back to my call. He goes right
30:16
Speaker 5: back to me again same day, say everything, and I'm
30:19
Speaker 5: told and everything. Now it's not a prank call. People
30:22
Speaker 5: are calling in the studio saying, hey, you know who
30:25
Speaker 5: that was and everything. You're in on it.
30:27
Speaker 3: The studios got to be in on it.
30:29
Speaker 5: How can he get back on ten minutes later with
30:31
Speaker 5: the same.
30:34
Speaker 2: He was totally oblivious. That's great, all right, Well, see,
30:37
Speaker 2: I gotta go see your ballguarding the time on my show.
30:39
Speaker 2: But thank you. There's is Steve driving around Manhattan and
30:44
Speaker 2: yeah they have My brother lives there, so I'm aware
30:47
Speaker 2: of the tax Oh he doesn't drive much. He takes
30:49
Speaker 2: the the subway around town. We got Big Ben's lame
30:53
Speaker 2: jokes of the week that's coming up here in a
30:55
Speaker 2: little bit. This portal show made possible by Travis Matthew.
30:59
Speaker 2: Travis matthew is apparel design for confidence and comfort no
31:03
Speaker 2: matter where the day takes you or in our case
31:05
Speaker 2: of the night, from performance driven styles to everyday essentials
31:09
Speaker 2: for men and women. Travis Matthew, as you covered is it,
31:13
Speaker 2: Travismatthew dot com received twenty percent off your first order
31:18
Speaker 2: when you sign up for the email with Travismatthew dot com.
31:23
Speaker 2: Let's say load to Angry Bill and then we'll get
31:26
Speaker 2: to lame jokes of the week. Hello, Angry Bill.
31:30
Speaker 3: How's everybody doing? Then? With his baseball commissioner, we just
31:35
Speaker 3: got to start over again. We got to go out
31:37
Speaker 3: and pick a reputable person who knows baseball and just
31:41
Speaker 3: start over. Clean, clean the slate, and try to forget
31:45
Speaker 3: about the past. Try to. I mean, the thing with
31:48
Speaker 3: Otani is just the same. That's your only word for it. Okay,
31:54
Speaker 3: you don't have a hands of dollars that you don't
31:56
Speaker 3: open up. I got this little checking book, I'm gonna looking. Oh,
31:59
Speaker 3: I got you know, sixteen point two million. And you
32:02
Speaker 3: don't know this guy stealing money from you? If you've
32:04
Speaker 3: got to be kidding me, and they don't recognize that
32:08
Speaker 3: he's behind this gambling, It is hard.
32:11
Speaker 2: It is hard to fathom. It is hard to fathom.
32:14
Speaker 3: But it's just unbelievable. We know what happened with the Astros.
32:21
Speaker 3: You know, it's just ridiculous. The guy, the guy, I
32:23
Speaker 3: don't know, well, I don't know what he's thinking is
32:25
Speaker 3: to say, I'm going to cover this up, but I'm
32:27
Speaker 3: going to get strong on this other thing that he
32:29
Speaker 3: gets strong on, and he covers this up. It's just ridiculous.
32:33
Speaker 3: Got to get right.
32:34
Speaker 2: Well, there's obviously a financial element to Otani. That's he's
32:39
Speaker 2: worth so much to the Dodgers in the baseball that
32:41
Speaker 2: they they You imagine if they had suspended him for
32:44
Speaker 2: some Oh my god, that would have been humongous. It
32:47
Speaker 2: had been like when Michael Jordan was suspended and had
32:49
Speaker 2: to play baseball in Birmingham for a couple of years
32:51
Speaker 2: back in the day.
32:52
Speaker 3: Well, they could take O'tani and let him go to
32:56
Speaker 3: a wall somewhere in cook sushi for a year. I mean,
32:59
Speaker 3: you know, come on, it's just completely ridiculous.
33:02
Speaker 2: Alright, all right, thank you go away. It is the
33:05
Speaker 2: Ben Mahllor Show. We're gonna have lame jokes of the week.
33:09
Speaker 2: Do we have weed man? Is he standing by there?
33:12
Speaker 2: We do. Okay, good Hey. This portal the show made
33:14
Speaker 2: possible by Express pro. Speed up your hiring process with
33:17
Speaker 2: Express Employment Professionals, reduce time to hire, cut costs, and
33:20
Speaker 2: find the right talent for both contract and full time roles.
33:23
Speaker 2: Visit expresspros dot com today and transform your hiring process.
33:27
Speaker 2: That's expresspros dot Com Lame Jokes of the Week.
33:30
Speaker 1: Next, be sure to catch live editions of The Ben
33:32
Speaker 1: Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific,
33:36
Speaker 1: Bill Miller and you.
33:39
Speaker 2: Reminder then right after the show, our pod will be
33:44
Speaker 2: going up. Missed any of the Ben Maller Show, be
33:46
Speaker 2: sure to listen to podcast to search Ben Maller wherever
33:50
Speaker 2: you get your podcast, and you can follow review the
33:53
Speaker 2: pod give it five stars again. Just search Ben Maller
33:56
Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcast, you'll find the latest episode
34:00
Speaker 2: and best of version, which will be all of six
34:03
Speaker 2: seconds right after we get off the air.
34:09
Speaker 1: Knock knock, Who's there?
34:10
Speaker 2: Blame we blame we who? It's Big Man's lame joke
34:14
Speaker 2: of the week and way we go. Weed Man? Are
34:18
Speaker 2: you there? Weed Man? Hippie? Hey, Dan, I love you
34:23
Speaker 2: all right now, we Man? You told me that you
34:24
Speaker 2: need the Chiefs to win and there'll be a new
34:27
Speaker 2: religion born if the Chiefs win it. That correct?
34:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, yeah, yet, all right, all right, we have.
34:34
Speaker 2: We man is in Miami and he's a regular on
34:38
Speaker 2: the show. This is his own segment. Did you know
34:41
Speaker 2: that trading Luca Donzig was not Mavericks gm Nico Harrison's
34:46
Speaker 2: worst decision?
34:48
Speaker 3: No?
34:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, he once took Lizzo to and All you Can
34:51
Speaker 2: Eat a fet That was much, much worse. That's George
34:55
Speaker 2: and Uvaldi in Texas. Thank you, George. Did you know
34:58
Speaker 2: that Lizzo is a big supporter of a new national
35:02
Speaker 2: school lunch program? Oh? What Yeah, it's called no Twinkie
35:08
Speaker 2: Left Behind? Very important? What is Lizzo's favorite type of weed?
35:19
Speaker 2: What kind she likes? Anything edible? Anything? Uh? That's sir
35:23
Speaker 2: for Todd the comedian. Why can't Lizzo roll over? Why
35:31
Speaker 2: she's so big she needs a passport just to roll over.
35:34
Speaker 2: That's Noah in Austin, Thank you, Noah. Why is Lizzo
35:41
Speaker 2: thinking about a comeback tour?
35:44
Speaker 5: Why?
35:45
Speaker 2: Well, because lately she's been feeling empty inside. That's Chipkin
35:49
Speaker 2: may think you that what did our guy Gunner in Minnesota,
35:55
Speaker 2: say to Lizzo. What did Gunner say to Lizzo? What
35:59
Speaker 2: do you want to go out tonight? Lizzo replied, no, thanks,
36:02
Speaker 2: I have standards. That's Katon Rory. We sent that one in.
36:07
Speaker 2: These are actual jokes by actual listeners. If you want
36:10
Speaker 2: to send jokes into a future episode of the show,
36:12
Speaker 2: send them care of Benmatherershow at gmail dot com. Benmathershow
36:17
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. And you can have weed Man
36:19
Speaker 2: Hippie laugh at one of your jokes. And I'm proud
36:21
Speaker 2: of you, weed Man. You've gone several months without going
36:24
Speaker 2: back to jail. Good job by you. All Right, what
36:28
Speaker 2: do you I know? What did Lizzo say to the
36:30
Speaker 2: cashier about eggs costing twelve dollars a dozen?
36:34
Speaker 3: Wow?
36:35
Speaker 2: What she said? This has to be a lame yoke.
36:42
Speaker 2: Eke and Roseville, Minnesota. Did you hear that Lizzo got
36:46
Speaker 2: a job at tire rack?
36:48
Speaker 5: Wow?
36:49
Speaker 2: No? Yeah, it turns out she's their new spare tire distributor.
36:54
Speaker 2: That said, Drew in Minnesota. What is Lizzo looking forward
36:59
Speaker 2: to most this Sunday? What a great big super Bowl?
37:06
Speaker 2: A big super Bowl. That's Surfer Todd the comedian. All Right,
37:11
Speaker 2: buckle up, weed Man. What's the difference between weed Man
37:14
Speaker 2: hippie and e leprechaun? What a leprechaun will lead you
37:18
Speaker 2: to a pot of gold. Weed man will lead you
37:21
Speaker 2: to a stash of acapulco gold. Yeah, Terry, Terry and
37:28
Speaker 2: Saint Paul. How can weed man get snow to come
37:31
Speaker 2: down in Miami?
37:33
Speaker 3: Wow?
37:34
Speaker 2: All he has to do is scratch his head enough
37:37
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, tena snowflakes right there. Noah,
37:42
Speaker 2: Noah In Austin. Why is Weedman? Uh? Yeah, that's true.
37:46
Speaker 2: Why is weed man hippie? Dinners at the soup kitchen
37:50
Speaker 2: like the Super Bowl wine? Well, they both don't have bills.
37:57
Speaker 2: That's pretty funny, good joke. George in Rochester, Minnesota. What
38:02
Speaker 2: does weed Man's custom Chiefs T shirt say?
38:05
Speaker 3: What?
38:07
Speaker 2: I hate mahomes and my roommates and my roommates? Yeah,
38:14
Speaker 2: the roommate you love mahomes. That's Eric in Kansas. What's
38:18
Speaker 2: the stakes of the bet weed Man and his roommate
38:21
Speaker 2: have for the Super Bowl? What loser moves out? How
38:27
Speaker 2: about that?
38:27
Speaker 3: We made you should do that?
38:29
Speaker 2: You should do that. Chiefs and bills are chiefs and
38:31
Speaker 2: bills The chiefs and the eagles. You take the chiefs
38:34
Speaker 2: and then boom. All right? How do you call a
38:36
Speaker 2: person who ates or what do you call? Rather? What
38:38
Speaker 2: do you call a person who hates homeless people like
38:40
Speaker 2: weed Man? What hobo phobick is? What you call them?
38:44
Speaker 2: Hobo phobic? That's but Buttermilk Chavo. Coop, you got any
38:49
Speaker 2: jokes over there? Coop? Now? Okay, h Coop Sata. You
38:53
Speaker 2: want to send an offensive joke, let me know it's
38:54
Speaker 2: offensive for Coop. I'll pass it around to him. How
38:56
Speaker 2: did weed Man know it was time to go to
38:58
Speaker 2: the hospital? It was tooth thirty. Tooth thirty is what?
39:04
Speaker 2: It's a chip? That's good. What would be different if
39:09
Speaker 2: weed Man Hippie went back in time to the baby
39:12
Speaker 2: version of himself? What? No teething? Wow? Buttermilk Javo set
39:19
Speaker 2: that one in. And uh did you hear that the
39:22
Speaker 2: Democrats elected weed Man Hippie to run the National Committee? Yeah?
39:26
Speaker 2: Do it?
39:26
Speaker 3: Yeah?
39:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's because the Democrats can't find their teeth either. Wow.
39:30
Speaker 2: All right, all right, very nice there. Why was weed
39:34
Speaker 2: Man put on a psychiatric hold? Why because he was
39:38
Speaker 2: laughing at voices in his head and claimed that he
39:40
Speaker 2: could talk to the radio. That's true in Minnesota. What
39:45
Speaker 2: did the fat guys say at his first AA meeting?
39:49
Speaker 2: What he said, my name is Luca. That's Tony in
39:52
Speaker 2: the back bak of weed man. Good jokes this week,
39:56
Speaker 2: solid jokes. Thank you.