Latest / The Sheridan Show / Are Dating Apps Dying? Dating in Your 30s, Red Flags & Finding Love IRL | S1E7
Transcript
- Sheridan: Welcome to the Sheridan Show Live. I'm Sheridan. If you don't know, welcome. And today I am joined by some of the co-creators of Hotline LA, the hottest new dating vibe happening here in real time. Dashay Gab. So it's like my god, it's been so much fun. So excited to be here. We're gonna have a ball for the week. Yeah, we we have a lot in store. We have a lot in store. Okay, so we're gonna get right into our what's the team for the week. Now So if you know what's the tea, sometimes it's just some stuff is just not that serious. And some stuff is like, we're talking about important things. Have a good balance. Okay, good. So one, it's Halloween week and so celebrities are always I love how they did that first of all, how they dress up early and then we see what they wore three weeks before Halloween. I love that vibe. And so Kim K dressed up as Northwest. And so like the entire internet was just going crazy because y'all know Northwest dress is like very ecliptic. She she has a style and a vibe of that's her own. Yeah, that's her vibe, right? So like imagine Kim Kay wearing. Yeah. And then two days later, Natalie Nunn, Natalie Nunn, she's like Baddies, all the things. Shout out to Baddies. I have a lot of friends that love baddies. Yeah, baddies, baddies, baddies, okay. Natalie Nunn then in turn dressed up no wait and then North dressed up as Natalie Nunn and she had like the whole like chit choice. Natalie Nunn got famous from Bad Girls Club. Yeah. cool. Yeah, and now she has a show called Baddies, which is like I mean kind of Bad Girls Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Five point Yeah. yeah, I'm just in Baddies. It's on Zeus. It's on Yes. Yeah, so what do y'all think about that? Like are y'all excited about Halloween? I'm excited about Halloween and I feel the same way that you do, seeing the celebrity costumes, they do twenty beforehand. It's like part inspo, part just like fun, gets you in the mood. Kim Kardashian dressing as her daughter, I mean, if you look at the pictures, it's like It's crazy. She did a great job. Yeah. Then I'm like, is that a costume? Is that your daughter? I wonder how normal feels about. So that's what everyone thank you. That's what everyone was saying. They were just kinda like, imagine at 14 if your mom dressed up like you. I mean, I had thought about the fact that like she's not a costume. That's kind of crazy. Yeah. Well, I do like sorry. I was gonna say I like it when you watch like videos on like TikTok of like dads dressing as their daughters and then acting like their teenage daughters. So maybe it's like Kim's version of that. Because people are always gonna find a reason to criticize Kim. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Kim could literally walk out Outside, she does all the time, and people have something to say. Yeah, yeah. the costume was spot on. It was spot on. I wonder if North saw it and was I'm never dressing like that again. Some people were saying she's some people were on social. I mean, imagine like 14-year-old you, especially if you have like a very like distinct style and your mom dresses like that for Halloween. I feel like I That would be it. Okay. Mom, you're embarrassed. I have grown out of the face. Mission complete. I have grown out of this phase. Like, literally. Yeah. It's kind of a good technique actually to get your kid to get out of that phase. That's what I wonder if Kim is petty like that. That's I could think she'd intentionally change. Actually. Because we may her do this after all this time. She likes it. Caps like I'm taking notes. Yeah, you're like great hair. Yeah. Well, she's gonna go through her cling girl era after this. Yeah. Could you imagine? I mean I couldn't even imagine. Anything is possible. We'll be looking out for that. We'll be looking out. We'll be looking out for that. And then North as Natalie Nunn, when I saw the chin, I was I was like, What? But it's funny though, because it was like if she hadn't done the gym, we would have not known. Yeah. Natalie Nunn seemed to take it in good stride. She seemed to love it. Yeah, she seemed like she was here for it. So It's hard, dressing up like a specific person to do it well without like offending someone, you know? I feel like Natalie's hard to offend. She's hard to In her current era. Yes, one hundred. I feel like she embraces her like just who she is. Yeah. As a person. Which is great. Yeah. as she should. Yeah. Okay. Next item and so did y'all watch the Victoria's Secret fashion show? I've seen clips. Yeah. I've seen clips too. I need to watch it. I need to watch the whole thing. Yeah, I need to 'cause I do usually watch those kind of things. I love watching those and like I love watching like pageants and stuff like that. Any like Miss America, if Victoria's Secret's on, like I love watching that. So one of the twins, we didn't figure out the other name, but Zach and Cody. Zach and Cody. We'll just call Zach and Cody. Like the Zach and Cody that you all know. One of Yeah. One of their wives, Barbara Palvin, was walking or walking the show and she's like six weeks postpartum. I you know, people just always have like something to say. To me, I'm like, that's badass. Like you literally just had a child and you were able to like whip yourself back into spec shape in six weeks and walk. never I can never but I feel like people always have something to say and so on the threads per usual or in TikTok people are just like criticizing not necessarily like her directly but just criticizing the like landscape that we live in so like a mom needs to feel pressure to like bounce back that quickly. Like which is in interesting because it's like She kinda said this in one of her post interviews too, or maybe pre where she was talking about how this is six weeks to go back to work, that is the norm for a lot of women. If if they even get that much in the US 'cause we don't have guaranteed parental leave, So she's like, This isn't about me having to do this to get back to where I am like This is our job. Yeah, this is my job. This is a conversation that's bigger than that. So I don't know. I think yeah, there's so many Moms that are forced to go back or go back to work early, paternity leave or maternity leave, yeah, some people don't even have that. I know people who are like, Yeah, my job doesn't even have leave. that's a luxury. Yeah. I don't blame her. if she was able to do it, which she obviously was, it's her job. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity problem. Totally. It's not six weeks though, like she had to get started ASAP to be ready within six weeks, you know. it's not really like she took six weeks off and then she started getting ready for it. That's true. So I don't know. I always take the good point. Yeah. I do think as well, like when I watched the clips from Victoria's Secret show, I was like, well yeah, I guess like body positivity is dead. Like remember that? Yeah, remember when remember when everyone was nice, yeah. Where did it go? I think people like to practice those things in theory, but not actual like application. Like twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen was like a great era for that. yeah. And then COVID happened and everyone's like, you know what, hair on cheek, it's back. Well that gave you GLP. Yeah. I mean that I saw a thread the other day that was talking about how many industries have potentially been impacted by the increase of GLP. even down to like someone was hypothesizing the food industry has been impacted, people aren't eating as much or using DoorDash because they are on GLP. It's crazy. I would love to see the stats ten years from now. Interesting to see. Yeah. Yeah. I can only imagine. I do know a lot of people who are on it eat more junk food because we're really not hungry and then And when you do want to eat, you can eat whatever you want. So I know that people who are on DLB one are like, I'm just gonna get the freaking fried chicken. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna get the salad. Yeah, you're only eating one today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna eat the phone. Yeah. I cannot wait to see. I'm surprised Netflix hasn't come out with a documentary. In real time. They love to drop things in the middle of like mm hmm. Like an AI documentary just dropped the other day and I was watching it and I like, this just happened. Mm-hmm. Like this just new footage of the topic from like earlier this year. And it was like, Netflix is on it. Mm-hmm. I'll be on the lookout for the GLP documentary. It's something that works. It's definitely in the works. Maybe we should make it. I know I was like, I'd love to interview. Maybe I can interview people. Okay, okay. Last one which I think will be most interesting to us. So There was a new article that came out that said basically all the dating apps are losing their users essentially. Bumble specifically, these are just claims from the article. I'm not a statistician, but they were saying that for example, Bumble's users went down, like it's consistently going down like over 17% every year since they first like IPO'd. That is pretty big. And then additionally, they were originally valued at like 14 billion dollars, now they're valued at These numbers are still big, but that's thirteen billion dollars evaluation. Just like Yeah, and then they they said Bumble, Tinder, and a couple of other apps are doing layoffs. And so I think this is just like pointing towards a trend of people are getting off the apps. I mean obviously that's probably why you all started hotline. Spoiler alert. but I think coming off like the hills of COVID, a lot of people working from home or just having flexible jobs. I think people are seeking more like in right real life connections. Like how do y'all feel about that? Is it surprising of the set of the numbers surprising to you? It's not surprising to me. I don't think that user like usership has gone down because it does feel like the sentiment, at least that I feel like probably influenced a lot of Hotline's egos too, is like a lot of people are tired of like the swiping and like the like the entire culture around it. and are wanting to like actually meet people in real life or feel like there's like an opportunity to make authentic connections in real life, especially to your point, COVID of course, facilitated a lot of people being inside, using apps, all of this. And now people are like out and about and out and wanting to meet people in that way too. So I think it's like it makes sense that usership has gone down. That said, a I still know a decent amount of people like people are so on this. Yeah. But you know, people are People are out on the streets too. Yeah. Yeah. We want a better romance story, I think. I I feel like during COVID everyone was on the apps. You couldn't Well could you know? Yeah, exactly. Whereas now like it's kind of like I'm like I'm a you know, I'm on the apps. Yeah. And it's kind of like the stragglers are left and we're kind of just like, and I'm looking at who's on the apps and it's the same people. Across different apps probably. Yeah. I'm like, wait, I mm Yeah, didn't we just see you on Ryan? Now you're on a app I'll go on a two-week stint and then I'm just like it gets but it's the same people. And then it's like I just saw you on this other app. We're gonna just pretend like I didn't just see you. Yeah. We didn't just have two hours ago. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, I think it's gonna be interesting because people are wanting to like meet people in real life, like and make those connections and like or I know for me, like I prefer to make a more organic connection than trying to like have a ton of conversations. conversation yeah people on our phones all day yeah it's like I think we're also tired of being pin pals. Yes. Definitely you have such a good read of someone when you meet them in person too like it's just like you can tell so much more about chemistry and like what you're actually vibing with when you meet some other person versus like swiping in a second it's always different. Yeah. We're also more vain on dating apps. Like I feel we like nitpick on like what people look like race in person you meet someone wow, not who was expecting, but God, we really vibed. And I feel like you don't get that from the dating apps. Yeah. That's a great point. That's a great point. I feel like there's so many dynamics of like the benefits of being off app. So then the app can be convenient, like when you're traveling and you're like, okay, I'm in a new city and I just want to like meet people for the time being. Have a good little side quest. For sure. I know a lot of people that have met like met their partners, but I also feel like that was like drinking. start of yeah the start of people actually using the apps and stuff I think times have just changed a little bit so yeah this one girl I follow on TikTok she's always posting how she's like harassing men on the apps And so instead of normal questions, she'll just ask them some off the wall. one time she was like, I want you to rap for me like this, that, and the third. And they would send her voice notes in the messages. I love that. I feel like if I was on the apps right now, I would be trolling. I would be serious, but I would be like, We're on the apps. I don't want to know your favorite color. I want to know, make it spin on too much. Yeah. I'm actually gonna ask you. I'm actually gonna ask I'm gonna pull p pin a number. Okay. the cards asked. I actually make that for funny. I actually do it. I'm gonna make a entertainment account. I'm just here for Maybe for the lows and if you're really cute, we can go ahead Yeah, then we can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. Okay, okay. Well, speaking of side quests and all the things, I love a good side quest. I mean y'all know that 'cause I was here all summer hanging out, John. I love a good side quest. I would love to know what's your latest side quest. It be last week, last month, yesterday. Has be this year. So I it's a side quest that I pick up and then like put down and you know, we all go through seasons, right? Yeah. but I love like flower ranging and like flowers and everything about florals, gather support. love the supportive friend. Yes. so I've been over the last couple of weeks I've been getting a lot more like back into that. And it's just been fun to like experiment and you know, just create things with flowers are already so beautiful, but being able to like place them in arrangements that are also gorgeous is really fun. I love that. Play around a little bit. I love doing like a weekly floor arrangement. Yeah. Yeah. It just makes the house feel like holy and girly and yeah, it's just nice. It's like you put a a like a bunch of flowers in a room it's like wow everything changes. Yeah it feels a lot. Yeah. Do you have like a favorite place to get flowers at? I like to go to a flower market downtown. Okay. I like Trader Joe's. I love I love Trader Joe's Trigger Joe's too. You can get a nice a nice bucket for like forty hours. Yeah. And they the Trader Joe's into your city I went there last week. They have dahlias and I was like looking for everywhere and I was like if I hadn't just bought a bunch of flowers then I would have to get these but yeah so shout out to that Trader Joe's for any dahlias. I love Trader Joe's. I love Trader Joe's okay yeah that was I one specific thing, but I just got back from Italy last night. Last night, thank you so much for being here. You're so welcome. and I think it kind of ties into the dating thing because I went because one of my best friends fell in love with her Airbnb host in Italy. So this is a love story in real-life connection. Yeah. Honestly. So I went for her to be like. she asked me to come to be like, is it okay that I'm here? Is it normal? And I went, I'm like, Yes, it's okay that you're in Italy drinking wine and meeting pasta with a man that you love. That sounds great. I love that. So Yeah, that you know what? Hate that for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. so I guess my side quest is like a little like vacation. I love it. Which and you know what I realized when I got like on my flight back I was like, wow, it's really nice to literally just remove yourself and get out of the city. Yes, I went to the extreme and went to Italy. But I feel like but I think I wanna start getting Airbnbs out by the beach or go to and like actively go out more either on my own or just do exactly what I want to do and then like invite friends to see if they wanna come. Yeah. Yeah. So side quest to be. I love the Yeah. You already have your homework. All the like side quests and stuff. Yeah. I like being able to find places in your own city. I'm not from Houston. We Dallason, which is not like it's not Mexico, right? But it's on the water. Yeah. And I started to like go down there, like spend the day down there, just like being by the water. I think like finding side quests in your own backyard is underrated. So I have so many beaches here. You can easily go to Airbnb and like explore up the coast. Yeah. And down the coast. I love San Diego too. Yeah. I love San Diego too. I'm to think what was my native side quest. being here is another side quest per usual being in LA. I was like my parents like, Yeah, what do you leave? I'm like, Sunday. They're like, okay. I've been planning it for a while, just like sometimes I don't You forget. But I would say coming out here, I really love LA. Like I can't wait to be here permanently. It suits here. Yeah, it really does. It really does. Every time I'm here Yeah, like literally on the plane I was just like my stress levels are like and I gotta so perfect per usual because when I was here last time it was 90 degrees. It was way too hot too much. Yeah I can even go on my walks. I can keep those little walks. Yeah I was like I need the walks I cut up this summer. but no I think that's been I love being in LA and I'm excited to be in LA I guess leading into our conversations about hotline. I'm super excited to be in LA because we're hosting Hotline LA I think this Thursday. Yeah with the co-founder Yes. my gosh. I'm so excited for Thursday. Yeah, and it's Halloween themed, so people are gonna be wearing some masks. So I am hoping that my sim costume comes in time. It's supposed to be here on Friday. I love it. A sim costume. Yeah, so like I've got the little like, you know, the little headphones. headband with a pumbob on it and then I am my inspiration is the naked sim, you know how it's like all pixelated. You know I love this I used to stay up playing this simple. I love the snaps. I kinda miss it. I never I don't know the last time I played it. I'd say I just sat one day. Yeah, we just sat it again. I love people that play it. They have a whole setup and everything. cold on me. Can I get back in? Go play it right now. Actually we're gonna hang up. We're gonna go to Best Buy. Best Buy I'm gonna get a PS five. Yeah, we're actually gonna go drop a thousand dollars. I would actually love to play Sims as an adult and like have other friends that are playing. Yeah. I know about y'all, but it was just me. Four o'clock every morning, I didn't know anybody. That was okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, we're bringing it back. So sorry, continue. Anyway, so thank you. I was like and back to what you did. What were we talking about? So I'm hoping that that gets here on Friday. Okay. But I am gonna buy a backup just in case. Okay. I'm thinking I've always wanted to be a Phoenix. So I think if I can find a good Phoenix costume as a backup, then that'll and who knows, maybe I'll I mean it's Hollow weekend, so maybe I'll wear Hollow weekend. Yeah. Hollow Hollow Year on a week. Yeah. It's just been scary. It's been spooky. It's been spooky for sure. It's been a spooky. It's been a spooky. Sleep at midnight on New Year's Eve, 'cause I don't want to think about New Year's girl. Right? What do you think? Well So yeah, but I just found my accent I'm Australian. So I'm easy. Crazy. So it's not really a thing in Australia. And so I really like indulging in it living in the States. And the last couple years I've gone to this is not the question. Last couple years, but like when I was born. The last couple years I went to Universal Horror Nights, which is so fun. It's so good. my god, it gave me a panic attack both times. So yeah. But also it the production value incredible. So I haven't actually done like a Halloween party and so this Halloween, I'm like my god, it's my first like American like one and I was toying with like sexy costumes and everything, but I've decided I'm gonna be a performative male. Ooh. I'm wearing some feminist stuff. I'm wearing a cropped tee that says we should all be feminists. Natural. The most performative of all. I've got a Sylvia Plath book in my back pocket. I've got some string headphones. Ugh, they love those string headphones. I got a tote, and I got some speed dealer sunnies. And that's all you need. I've never needed. He lives in New York. he's everywhere. He's he's everywhere. He's everywhere. You can't escape this man. You can't perform a No. I respect all women. Do you Do you let's call up. As a feminist. Yes. As a feminist As a man who supports women's rights. Like I will continue the gaslight either. That's gonna be fun. That's good. That's a good point. Yeah. We will be with Well, I'll be with that one. So yeah, we will take pictures together. But I feel like people gonna eat it up. Yeah. And if you guys dress up sexy, I will be in character and I will respectfully be checking you out. Okay, thank you. Yeah. I was like, I cannot say I know what I'm gonna wear. I actually have not thought about them. But it's on a Saturday, so I'm like, hmm, I might as well, you gotta get out there. You gotta good. Yeah, I think I'm gonna go shopping this week. So I'll let you know about what I thought. I thought about Lord Farqua from stretch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a little bob. I know. I saw one girl, she like she had a bob on too. Like she wore the full like costume. It was sexy. So maybe. I mean it's a sexy He is. If you think about the men in Shrek, it would be Ludfacu. He's on her hear me out. He's on her hear me out. Yeah. He's a king. I would not expect that. You're like who? Well. he is the most handsome man in most of the movie. The bar is in hell. You have an overall charming handsome Performative Male. And he was in the second one. Yeah, Mama boy and Performative Male. Horrible combination. Let's run through the entire philosopher material. We're talking about strike one. Yeah, okay, but in this movie. Lord Farms. Arguably the most person in the world. He is a baddie. He knows what he wants. He was a bad bobby. I wonder what everyone else is wearing. I wanna know what people are wearing in the comments. Yeah. Okay, while they are letting us know that, I would love to dive into just like what made you all start hotline? Like let's talk hotline. First, how did y'all meet? 'Cause neither one of you from LA. Yeah. So like what's the story here? And then with the other co creators of Hotline for you all to lead into even one of the greatest yeah, how you Well, it was a beautiful love story. We both well, Dashey works in music supervision and I'm a film producer and we shared an office and she we were like introduced like through, you know, colleagues and Dashe would always walk past and be like, Hi how's your weekend? Yeah And I'm like she's obsessed with my girl's She's like, I guess she wants to be my best friend. And then I guess we just kept talking and then somehow hung out and then became really good friends. Yeah. And then you I remember You invited me to your birthday. Yeah, I feel like sued you. I love it. I did I love that they pursue her friendship. Which was like in the desert. Yeah. And she got a huge house for the weekend and I like, my god, it's so nice that she wouldn't even think to invite me. This random person I don't know that we actually know we hadn't had that. I'm like come to Palm Springs. And I was like, Yeah, I would do it too. I'm like I mean what's the worst thing? So that really solidified us, I feel It was great. Yeah, was really fun. so yeah, there's something meant. I love that. And then you have hotline, which I found out about when I was here earlier this summer and you're like, I don't want to steal y'all story, but I would love to know the inspiration because when I heard about it I instantly sold it. I was like, this very unconventional dating event. But there's a story behind you know, wanting to start a dating event is not a small feat. No. Yeah. and I think as single women ourselves, it's like you go to a lot of dating events and you You meet lot of people and you have a lot of experiences and it's like, how can this be better? We walked out of one in the spring and we were like, I think we can do this a little bit better. And in a perfect world, what does that look like? That looks like something that's like very curated, something that feels like a little more intimate than just throwing a bunch of singles in a room and having it being like a feeding frenzy. Something where it feels like you're not Do you know what I mean? Yes. It is I know, that was just funny. like, yeah, I knew exactly what you're about. Yeah. You know, it's like, okay, everyone's interested in the same green. Yeah. And then it's like all of these women are all trying to like talk to them. And like, you know, it was just like we felt like there was an opportunity to bring something to market that felt a little more I put a ball in fun. It did feel as well, like at the event that we went to and I don't know if this is biased, but I just felt like all the women were like catches and amazing. And it did feel like the the men were very far and few between. And like Dashay said, there were like three yeah, there were like three half decent men and then people became like vultures. And it's just like, my god, like I feel like we're we need to even this out a little bit. So we we're kinda doing like a vetting system so everyone who applies to answer a certain questionnaire, put their Instagram in there as well. And then we go through and we have a look and like make sure like people are like viable and normal. and then when we go through we kind of matchmake and we like looking at the matchmaking component too. Yeah. So kind of like secret matchmakers. So how does that like play out at the end? Well it's really fun so when you get checked in we tell you who your matches are, whether that's based off of like your signs or whether that's based off of hobbies that you guys have to have in common. and we kind of send you on your way to find that person, which is great because it's like okay you also having to still put forth the effort to chat with people. Chat up people, like 'cause yes, we're providing matches, but like you never know who else you might be doing Apple with along the way. That sounds really fun too. Like I don't think I would want to know their names, but don't point out. And I would like exactly it. Yeah. If I can find that person. Remember they had to half wrists or something and if they were supposed to be together their wrists, their watches turned yeah, maybe it was perfect match. Yeah. And their watches turned green or yeah. my god, wait. That's genius. Yeah. It still created that like organic type of like effort. You know? It was like figuring it out. Like for example, if someone came and I was checking you in and I was like, Okay, your matches Dashe and Sheridan, you know, go find them. And then if they're out, obviously people will go up to the people that they're most like attracted to or most drawn to or whatever, and then if they introduce themselves and it's like, my god, wait, you're my match, amazing. Yeah, and then if they're not your match, yeah, you're still and if you need them out, you can be like, you know, I need I was literally gonna say, yeah, and then we have these cars. We've thought of everything. Yeah, I think that the other component of that is like when you go to a dating event, it's already nerve wracking. Like, Okay, you may be coming solo. And even if you aren't, like you and your friend are probably gonna split up because you're both trying to talk to people. so I think it's cool that we added the component of like I'm tuning our own horn, but Yeah. I think it's really cool that we just I think it's really cool. Whatever. That we're adding this like untained component to it. Because also like at least from my perspective, I know y'all agree, but I feel like there's always this we're just asking serious stuff these little questions and it's like, What's your favorite color? And tell me about the last time you're in love. And then we throw these untamed questions in that are questions that you probably wouldn't want to ask, but that you're too nervous to, and so you get to have a deeper conversation than just making small talk about what do you do for work? And how long do you live in LA and what made you move here? Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like those are things that are like you don't necessarily get on the apps necessarily. Yeah. Yeah. I loved it so like So the last one that we did, we have a Cupid as well. she's amazing. She goes around and basically like if anyone seems, you know, a little bit nervous to talk to someone or whatever, she'll go up to them and like help introduce them to people or like just check in and you know, be that little guiding light. But I found last time I went around with the cards and went out to people chatting and some of the cards would say things like, Okay, in three seconds, tell me what you like about each other. And then both people would in compliment each other and I'll be like, that's all, and I'd walk away. And then they're both like, Wow, you think there's a lot of I didn't know you were doing that. I'm I can be involved. Yes, do it. I didn't know that. Yeah. The close up the most close that I got was like people would come and ask me for more cars and I would like check in on them, but I didn't know you were facilitating conversations. Girl, get in there because that's so good. Yeah, you were doing that. my gosh. I was hyping up these two boys who were like they came in matching outfits. They were great. I love them. Yeah. So I remember. Yes, I think I'm one of them. They came in matching outfits and one of the guys so funny. I've been wanting to talk to this girl, but she's been talking to this guy since yeah. And I was like, look my guy. You just gotta I remember you just you gotta get up and gotta leave and y'all not watch Bachelorette. You have to you have to love it. Hey, can I believe for a chat? you have to because this is like also the event is not for you to sit and cake up with one person per hour. Meet, exchange numbers and then you know carry on. Carry on. Yeah. there's so many people to meet at the end of it. And actually I went up to there was another card that was an untamed card and it said, Okay, say if would you go on a date with this person? Yeah. And it was really great because it's actually a really nerve wracking, like question to ask, especially if someone's in a conversation that they don't want to be in. But I went up to a few couples. I mean had a few wines at this point. So I'm like, Okay, would you ask this person on a date? And every time everyone was like, Yeah, I would. And then that's when people start Exchanging you around next time. my god, yeah. It's gonna be voices distorted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know how people are writing their numbers on playing cards as well, which I thought was really Are we doing that again? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I can't wait. I'm out. I'm gonna participate little more. Yeah. Participate, girl? Yeah. I feel like last time I was very much like, do you need a card? Like very hard, brother. Now I'm like, You're on your own, very hard. Refill if you need to tell you what we just got it. What do you think? We've got some keyties coming. I'm excited. Okay, that was gonna be one of my other questions. I'm sure people are curious to know. you don't have to give it all the sauce. But what are some things that you look for on profiles before you decide to approve a person or not? I mean honestly like I think we've been blessed with a lot of people that fill out the questionnaire very earnestly and they have these beautiful quest answers to what are your interests? we do someone that you know, is like has hobbies and is interested in things and has like a worldview that's you know, diverse diverse and unique. so we look at that, we look at like your profile to see just like, you know, verify like you are who you say. You are really do type of. Okay. Good to know, because I know sometimes you follow and are they gonna ch actually check my Instagram? There there are definitely people that we decline and and a a lot of the time it's because there's a few little questionable people out there that we don't want to to come to the event because again the dating event that we went to there was some questionable people there that were like this feels uncomfortable or they don't because they probably I feel like people can see it as a breeding ground which exactly prey on people. Exactly. Not everyone but the outliers. Yeah. We've definitely had some people that even filling out the questionnaire it's been like, some of these questions these answers are a little quirky. Not even quirky, just quirky hm, and here to meet girls. Yeah. Like this is not the place for you, but yeah, yeah. We honestly yes we and we also like look to make sure that like we have a room that is equal as far as like yeah, you know I think it was a great issue and like yeah, there needs to be an even number, especially if it's like, you know, a a straight event, for example, like we want to make sure there's the same amount of men as women so it's an even playing thing. Yeah. I think it was a great time. I think it was a great crowd last time. Like I think it was just very it was balanced in a lot of ways. Like I feel like it brought out The super artsy people and there are people that I'm like, clearly I work in corporate. it was not a it didn't lean one way or another, but the characters in the room. Have I told you there's three successful couples from the last one? no. Yeah, they're still still doing strong. It's amazing. they okay, how did you find out? Did they reach out? Because a lot of the people were friends of friends. And so they'll be like, my God, my friend She's still dating that guy from the event. I okay hotline might be worth I knew how things is we randomly ran into one of the attendees while we were out one night. Mm-hmm. And she was like, my god, yes, hotline, blah blah blah, new to the city, didn't really have a connection to it. But she was like, My friend is literally going on her third date with that guy tonight. I love it. I was like Yeah. It's so cute. I love it. my gosh. Okay, I'm excited. So I mean, I knew the vibes were good at the last event, but I love when you can hear that like people walked away, like actually made connections outside of like, we exchanged Instagrams or like we went on one date. I love success. Yeah. That was great. Truly. Love it. Well, I feel like the untained conversations probably really, you know, helped segue conversations. they people would. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think they were great. So we're gonna answer some attainment. Conversation. ready to go. Boy, am I ready to go? Yeah, I've done my wine, I'm good. I you know I went through and tried to clear them up a little bit. hopefully they're not crazy. I'll answer once you I'm gonna go last. Okay. If we have time. Should we pull up to you? If we have time, we should go last. because I feel like I'm gonna get like a crazy question. Okay, yes. I can p you wanna like take turns pulling cards. Okay. And so by the way, these are the cards that we literally have at the event. I'm so nervous nervous. So these are the cards we had at the event. And so essentially there were layers. I actually think this was I don't know, this is actually a mix. These are not the right, these aren't the ones from the actual event. But we have layers. So like at the event it started off with very light cards. We call those mild and it went to wild and it like went unchanged. But at one point everybody was just grabbing cards. I was like, y'all can just say cards. But just so you know. So we can be that. Okay. what's the I'm sorry. Well I didn't read it very much. If you decide to pass or get a new card, you have to read No. my card's not crazy. Shall I go first? Yeah, yeah. What's something dating has taught you about yourself? that's a nice one. That's a nice PG one. Yeah, this is a good one. Dating has I I dating has taught me about myself. I would say it's taught me a lot about like The things that I have always thought that I wanted or like needed in a partner and then like things that I was like, wait, actually this is nice too. Like I've found myself to be I can be hyper in independent and I am the type of person that's like I can do it myself because I don't want to be a burden to anyone else, you know? So but I'm realizing through dating that I really like being take like someone that takes everything away that like just makes me feel like comfortable to let my bell down a little bit just I was like wait yes you yes get that drink for me just the little things you know so you found out that you like to be taken care of yeah just not I'm not like I don't need to be like pampered for any needs but like yeah I think that's like something that like is of value to me. Acts of service is more important to me than I ever could have thought. I love that and I feel like your love languages change over time too they do they do quality type still never What I feel that but I feel that too. Yeah, I feel like all of mine are equal. Yeah. I don't know why to you. In the current season, all of them at the same time. Most of mine are about the same, but gifts I'm also like, I love shopping for myself. Wait, you don't want it? Give me the money. Alternative. Yeah, I just feel like about certain things. I'm like, that might. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna smell about gifts as well. if I get something I don't like, I'm like, Great, I have nothing. Yeah, I'm like, we need to take it back to the store. Yeah, okay. Crazy cra I think that's a good like a good epicity though. Like I think that's the whole point of dating too, is like Figure out what like. You may find out things that you thought you like that you don't, and vice versa, and learning about yourself. Exactly. Yeah. That's a good question. Yeah. Who wrote that? She's brilliant. It might be. Okay. What's a dating red flag you knowingly ignored because of the person was attractive? Jeez. It's like where do you start? Yeah, it was like I mean recently, someone was dating recently, very attractive, very charming, very untrustworthy and had a lot of narcissistic tendencies. I hate that word. But I chose to I chose to see past it and I would talk to Dashe about it. I'm like, yeah, he did this and he did that. But he was hot though, right? And she's like, yeah, this is valid. How did you accept how did you like What gave the vibe of untrustworthy? like for you to say very untrustworthy and like so there were basically like times we went out and like saw him actively like looking at other women but and like chatting up other women but then when I would, you know, confront him about it, he was like, my god, like no, you're like you're saying things. I'm like, Yeah. You're so right. Yeah, you're like I'm wrong. Yeah, right, yeah. And then I would also hear from friends and friends and people who knew him. Yeah. They were like, yeah, he's not a faithful guy. he you know, whatever. And I was like, maybe it's different with years old. Do you know what? This is a real this is a real pattern that I have. Like I'm very aware that I get caught up in attraction, that I I I I'm very aware like on day one, I'm like, okay, if you few red flags. for example, he had a tattoo on his hand from an ex that he was only dating a couple months. and it was like her initials. And I was like crazy. Yeah. He's a gaslight. He's willing to give a tattoo to like to somebody that he's like faithful. Yeah. That was like a desperate tattoo. But then he was telling me enough to literally broke up three weeks before he went on dates with me. And then when he and I were going on dates, he would Girl, I know. When we're going on dates he would say things like Just let me love you, let me in, like just trust me and like I don't know you. I can't trust you, I don't know you. Yeah, but this is a pattern. I get love bombed and I swept up in attraction or chemistry or whatever and I confuse chemistry with actual compatibility. You know? We've all done it. Yeah. But they're self aware of you. I think so much. I'm in my thirties now, so you my god. I was the only refrain that this morning. I was like, I've just been really reflective of like my patterns lately. And I like, I've I've never been that like like I can be aware of things that I do occasionally. I think just like to your point being in my thirties. like, no, this is a pattern, girl. Yeah. Like this is like a this is a habit that you have at this point. What do all these men have in common yet? Yeah. Right to the chest. Also that Wellship is playing my business after. I am the common denominator. I didn't know Burbatum. My friends probably watching this this morning. I literally was like, I was like, you know, I've realized like as I look back, it's like a history of a specific person. Anyways, when I look back, I'm like I may have been the villain. Like I was like, I in hindsight. told myself a story in my head Yes that is not accurate. And my therapist kinda pointed it out a couple weeks ago. He's like, I mean, do you feel like you just tell yourself this story because it protects you from like getting your feelings hurt versus just being like, okay, your feelings may be hurt or you may be uncomfortable. You rather just paint this picture of this person that's not who they are to make yourself feel better about your feelings. You know like Okay. I was like, no therapist has gotten I was like, I've never had a therapist just like Okay. Can I get his number? he sounds great. Great great. It's my first male therapist, which is why I kinda wanted a male therapist. I was telling a friend, I was like, I've had therapists that look like me, they've been black women, which is great. I've had Mel. Black men as well. yeah, no black black men as well. I wanna like a different perspective. Like I wan I didn't want not to say, I mean, obviously as a therapist, you're not supposed to be an echo chamber or have bias, but like there are all subconscious biases that we have with like just life in general. Totally. And I like, I kinda want somebody that doesn't look like me that can give me a perspective that like I wouldn't normally have, and he's giving me some perspective. Yeah, like he's giving me some things to think about. I literally woke up this morning and I was like, I it's I'm the villain. I am And I don't know what to do about that. So you know what? That's for next session. Yeah. Yeah. That's for Atlanta. I'll be thinking about that time. I'm like Yeah. Because my problem is like also another thing. I don't know how to just like be okay with the uncomfortability of like when you're getting through somebody and dating and the unknown, like I have to know what's happening. Mm-hmm. And if I don't It's like a bit of a control thing. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You feel safer that way. Sorry, no. I'm like, so she's like, when did they first start? I'm like, nah, where is Hippalong? Upside down. Hip along. Hippah. my God. Anyways, but I do think I mean I think that it's great to hear these perspectives though, because it's like, okay, we're doing a dating event not just for shit to giggles. Like we also want you to like have a little Yeah, very even. Okay. I guess this is ironic. what's the petty what's the pettiest reason you stop talking to someone? I have a few. That's a good one. I have a view. Some are as some are not as petty as others, but the context makes them more petty. I'll have to answer first. Yeah. I guess we'll I was like, why aren't you happy? okay, so like one petty reason, like a true petty reason. Is this guy vaped and I just didn't like how he vaped like morning till night. Like it was like you have to get up and vape, like you take your vape everywhere. He doesn't know that. But I was like watching at our big age, and he's like a little older, but I'm just like you're vaping all the time, like morning, night, in between meetings, in the car. Like it just seemed like it was like I mean they say it is like somewhat of an addiction. And it's no judgment, I don't care about people who vape, but it's just like having that on you all. Just for me just not, I'm just not a fan. 'Cause it just makes it feel like you have a addiction that you can't kick. what if your vape is not charged today? Are you gonna crash out? Like what if yeah work is stressful and your vape is a good one. I feel petty. It felt petty. I never told him that was the reason why. But Yeah. It felt petty. No, I feel like that's not like The pettiest reason I've heard of. Yeah. You're witnessing. Okay, okay. I'm trying to think of another reason. we never dated for real, but I went on a date from Bumble. This is like twenty nineteen, twenty twenty. And the guy excessively spit while he talks. See that what do you mean? Like You know like sometimes people spit. Yeah. We're eating or whatever. Yeah. It just happens on a rare occurrence. It was like this entire conversation. Yeah. So I I cut that short. Yeah. Because you're just getting like rain on the Yeah. Like I don't even know you like that. Yeah. I mean some may disagree. Like some may disagree. I think that's probably my like top two. Other than that, I feel like in my like younger years I was just very quote unquote toxic and I would just block people for any reason. But then I would come back around. Like I'm just like, I don't feel like like you pissed me off, I don't want to talk to you. Like I'll call you in three months. Okay, I'm back. Yeah and I'm like, I've thought about it and why does that make you more attractive to me? I'm just like Well the problem is I also date men who don't have a problem. So it's like anybody else would be like, my gosh, she's toxic, I can't deal with this. There are people like you that are like She'll be back. Yeah. Why didn't she block me? Let's find out it's probably a fire sign thing. We make everything about ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anything, even if it's a negative, we're like, they blocked me because they're upset. It's like, no, because you're crazy. No, it's you're crazy. But like as a fire sign, it's like, mm, that's hot. Yeah. God. and is it me? Am I the problem? Yeah. Self awareness isn't part of your thirties. I I feel like that's what we've come away from. Yeah, actually that's what we've Yeah. That's life, isn't it? Like you're always learning something new about yourself. Yeah. Yeah. The the people I would date in my twenties are not the people I would date now. And that person I was just dating was someone I would date in my twenties, and like I've had it off up. That is good. you cut it off early. That's correct. You go girl. That's one of my favorite things about this era of my life. I feel like I cut people off quicker. Yeah. But before, 'cause even I'm telling you all about the vape story. Now that's not a big deal. To me it felt like not a big deal that I would have carried it out a little bit. I don't it doesn't have to be like a I think before I used to think things had to feel so dramatic and so extreme to cut someone off. And now it's like if we just don't align. It doesn't have to be like this big dramatic. Reason it could just be like, I don't trust you and let's just Yeah, cut it along again. Yeah. I was kinda just saying that to Gab when the car was talking about this. I feel like there was a time in my life where I was like, you know, you gotta like say yes to everything, even if you're not like attracted to the person that asks you and I just like you're like, Okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're like, Okay, I'm trying this new thing, being open. Yeah. I'm being open because I know Too much. You went too far. You went too far. You you overcorrected it. So I was just telling her about a situation where I was like, you know, I'm like proud of myself for not having that like mentality all the time now. And yeah, it's like, okay, well, is there any point that I want? I have a choice. I don't have to go out on a date or entertain this or whatever just for the sake of like saying it. Yeah. And that's also the power of dating in your thirties. If on your twenties, you're like, I'm out for whatever your thirties, you're like, hmm, I don't I actually like the way you snore at night and I think we should cut it. I don't even want to find out. Three months that very specific. That is very specific. That seems like something that happened recently. I've never actually caught that. No, maybe for my Satan. I've never told you about that. I haven't. But it is an egg. If I gotta sleep next to someone, then I I really care about my sleep. I will say this I have cut somebody off before. Because I was just like, I don't get good sleep at this person's house. probably my spirit was like, hmm. And so I just I'm just gonna Yeah. And so I will I will not talk to you if I feel like I can't if I can't sleep peacefully through the night at your house, I can't. Yeah. Yeah. That's also I think that's fair. I think I go off a lot of vibes. A lot of my it's are like, Yeah. The vibe's just not vibing. The vibe's not vibing. And that's like balance. Yeah. Somebody said, Dang, not snoring. It just Somebody said, I hate the spinning. I'm just catching up. Sorry guys. We were just yapping. I wasn't looking at any the comments. Somebody said, Cool that y'all are guiding conversations. Okay, wing women. Cool cards. Somebody says the moon face probably doesn't have Cool things. Somebody says my therapist yelled my ass and I threaten to block her all the time. I'm not block therapist. I'll push a therapy appointment out. I'm like, hmm You know what? That's the equivalent of blocking your therapist. I'm like, like I was supposed to be my therapist too. I don't need your shit today. Yeah. I don't need accountability. I don't want to be held accountable for any of my actions today. I'm like not going into the weekend, no. the fire sign fire sounds fire signs are insanely different from water signs, attributes. Yeah, we're Yeah. we we love a lot of transformation. Yeah. And is that too much to ask? You know what I thought about when you were talking about how you get love bomb quickly? And someone was like, Why get love bomb quickly? Because I'm Why would you not love me? No, literally no literally. I thought about that. So I'm like, But why can't I just be like the perfect baby angel that you're saying that I am? Yeah. You're like, I am. Yeah. You're like, I agree with you. You can't love mommy because I agree. I I I would fall in love with me too in three days. Like it makes sense. I get it. But But he was a Gemini, so you know. Switches that up a lot. Yeah, that answers actually all the questions. I'm like, they are Gemini. Yeah. friends are Gemini. Yeah. How and I also because I know how they are as friends, I'm like, to be a fly on the wall in your relationships, I would just love to know. Because the chaos that I'm You know what I'm re I would love to know. You know what I'm realizing recently, and maybe it's the thirties thing as well, is that my friends, husbands, or partners or whatever are not my husband partner and it's so funny 'cause like you know, with my friends I'm just like, I don't get it. I don't get it with this person. I don't need to. They're not Yeah, a friend and I were just talking about that. I was like Which is a good thing. It's like, yeah, you want what you want, right? you know what that looks like and I always tell people, you're the only person that has to lay down with that person. I don't have to spend every day with that person. I don't have to spend my life with that person. Like as long as you're happy and y'all are in a healthy dynamic, I'm happy. You like it. Yeah. Look at an alien. That's fine. You know, like whatever you You fall in love and move the forward. Yeah. That's great. Love that see you. Yeah. I love it. Well this has been so much fun. We're at time. my god. I know. It goes by s I I've started I was watching the clock 'cause my brain was like I know it's already been hour, but I would love to just wrap with talking about hotline in case anyone's watching and wants to join on Thursday. follow hotline. Uh-huh. In the link in bio, you've an R S C P and hopefully you get approved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're watching, if you're watching, you're watching. I'm excited about the masquerade theme too. I would say the cheerful provided this Well spread. I think I'll add an interesting layer. It's like love is line, but what do they look like without it? I can't even imagine. I can't I think you're like, it's this is my eyebrows. Okay, well we talked about so much great stuff when it came to baby. What'd be some homework that you would like love to Little takeaways. Little homework little takeaways. Ooh. Do the things. I'm always for leaving people with something to do. Honestly, if everyone wants to, meditate on the question that I got about what have you learned about your child through dating. I think that's that's a really good one. Insightful and very whoever wrote that. Brilliant. She's amazing. She's amazing. So yeah, that's my work for you. The new Einstein, I feel. the Einstein of relationships. Yeah. is cool and calm. Yes. and this is Thursday, so I speak now. Be there at the Switch. Yeah, thank y'all so much. I'm excited for Thursday. Thank y'all for tuning in. Sorry, Hotline sounds amazing. Yeah, this conversation with I feel like we like explored relationships but in a different way. You know like relationship conversations are happening all the time, but I feel like this is like a different angle. Maybe too honest. I'll clip that out before I'll clip out of I'll clip out a few things not as good. Yeah, yeah I'd be like and I did not say that No this is great I love the comedy self-reflection and yeah see y'all next time until then stay curious