Latest / Aging Parent TrapX / Aging Parent Emergency Binder
Transcript
- Nikki ElitePrepServices: these are this is when you get prepped to do a signing. You have all of those tabs. This is all the areas that you need to sign. Yeah, Allison: wow. That that's Nikki ElitePrepServices: so it's Allison: Yeah, that's a lot. Welcome to the Aging Parent Trap X podcast and YouTube channel. My name is Allison Newland. I'm the broker owner of Platinum Properties of Florida in the Greater Tampa area. And I'm here with my friend and colleague Nikki Flynn with Elite Preparation Services. And Julie Cook will be joining joining us anytime now. So she could pop in anytime. But we decided to go ahead and get started because it's a kind of a rainy day in the area and we don't know how bad traffic's gonna be. For her to get back to her computer. So we're going to go ahead and get started. Today we are talking about the emergency binder. The emergency binder. And Nikki really is, there it is, it she Nikki ElitePrepServices: Mm-hmm. Allison: is a pro at this. She built an entire business around creating this binder. And so, you know, we've talked about it. We haven't ever shown a picture of it, but or a video of it, but she showed it to me just a few minutes ago, and it's thick and it's got a lot of information. And this is her specialty. So, you know, I think what we need to kind of think of is if your aging parent went, let's say, to the hospital tonight, could you find all of the documents that you need to help them? no. Nikki, tell us why we need this. Tell us what is in it. Let me hear from you. Nikki ElitePrepServices: So I can actually relate to this right now. so my mom Allison: Mm. Nikki ElitePrepServices: actually had to go into the hospital yesterday. Allison: no. Nikki ElitePrepServices: So yeah, we were doing a a follow-up to see if she was gonna be cleared for a chemo and they she had some swelling in her leg and my husband's like I think we need to do the ultrasound and they found a blood clot in her left leg. So I mean and Allison: Okay. Nikki ElitePrepServices: the first thing is, you know, between me and my stepdad being able to go back and forth because it's a good 45 minute trip away. The the one thing was is that I they all have the documents on file. So I've been getting the phone calls and the updates from the doctors and the nurses while my dad might be there. We transition because I can't sit for long periods of time because of the knee. so they know to call me and because they have those documents. So the most important thing is when there's an emergency, we don't know when that's gonna be. That's the The hardest decision. We went there with the intent of, okay, that she's gonna go get blood work, we're gonna talk to the doctor and she's gonna get treatment. That turned into a literal 10-hour day going from one facility to the other facility to then being admitted. And all of that, you don't have time to think. And for families that don't have things planned, they're running around trying to figure out, okay, where are these documents? And then people are asking, Well, can you make decisions? Are you legally able to make decisions? those decisions? Do you have the right and the ability to make those decisions? So if they don't have these documents in place, then that starts a whole nother turmoil side effect of things that can lead to a lot bigger troubles and dramas down the road. But if they do have these documents and they've never been told where they are, now you have to go on a scavenger hunt. And now you're going to be looking through your family members' things to see if you know where they are, let alone have you ever looked at one? Do you Allison: Hm. Nikki ElitePrepServices: Know what the document even looks like. Is it in a folder? Is it in an envelope? Is it in a binder? Is it on a flash drive? Is it saved to a computer? Like there's so many different options. So it's extremely important to be able to sit down with the family members and have that conversation. I can relate it to one specific thing that comes to mind. When a woman is pregnant, they always say, Have your go bag ready. This is your go bag. Allison: right. Mm. Nikki ElitePrepServices: So you need to make sure that you have all of your necessities in there. That's what this binder is. And this binder that I put together is so detailed. I call it your life playbook. And I do that because that's exactly what it is. So if you were to, in the middle of a conversation, just dead stop, pass out, no more words come out of your mouth, you're not coherent, you're non-responsive, then what? Well, with my binder, it's different because not only do you have the people nominating. And elected. We go down into very, very detail of every medication that you are on, your doses, how many times a day, the list of your doctors that you see and for what causes to Allison: Mm-hmm. Nikki ElitePrepServices: what your passwords are on your phone, on your computer, how frequently you need to pay your bills. Are they automatic debit Allison: Mm mm. Nikki ElitePrepServices: or do you mail in a check every single week? Or every single month? Allison: Right, that's so important because if you're incapacitated in hospital, I you can't we can't do anything. You I mean, and if your loved one doesn't know what to do, I mean, just trying to figure all that out, the usernames, Nikki ElitePrepServices: Mm-hmm. Allison: the passwords, the everything. my gosh, I can't because you still the household doesn't stop Nikki ElitePrepServices: Right. Allison: because you know, something happened. Nikki ElitePrepServices: Mm-hmm. Allison: things keep moving and so you have to have access to this information or else you're just you're gonna be in a real pickle if you're my goodness. Nikki ElitePrepServices: Yeah. Well, and you know, the other the other bad thing is is if, you know, Allison: Hmm. Nikki ElitePrepServices: they've been in the hospital and they're really not that responsive or coherent, then the doctors are coming or the the staff is coming and they're talking to you and they're saying, Okay, this is our next step. This is what we need to do next. And if they're talking about transferring to a facility, whether it be a rehab facility, a short term facility, even a long term facility, how do you know what money they have coming in? Like you might know, mom and dad have a Allison: right. Nikki ElitePrepServices: Pension or social security, but you don't know what that is. And they're talking to you about cost, they're talking to you about possible home care. They're they're they're coming at you with so many different things because their main goal, which is all that they need to worry about, is triage in treatment. That's they're just trying to assess the situation and get them the medical care that they need. They don't necessarily know what the insurance is gonna cover, they don't necessarily know what your out-of-pocket or your deductibles are gonna be, what that looks like long term. They're gonna need somebody on a regular, who's gonna be paying for that? So there's so many things that are in the mix of all of that. When we as family members and as loved ones, we just want to be by their bedside and comfort them and be able to just sit there and relax and try to have an even tone to be able to just maintain and navigate through all of the chaos that's happening. You can't do that if you don't have these documents in place, if you don't have things taken care of in. prepared for because you're running around trying to get things done and if the person is non responsive or incapacitated, there's nothing that can be done. They can't sign documents at that point. Which that means Allison: Right. They can't sign documents. And even if you have even if they are and they can't leave the hospital, then you have to get you have to get the document made, right? Based on what Nikki ElitePrepServices: Two. Mm-hmm. Brought to them. Allison: they want. So you have to kind of find somebody to do that, you know, Nikki ElitePrepServices: Mm-hmm. Allison: very quickly. And then you have to have like a mobile notary come into the hospital to do it, and all of that, you know, is going to be very difficult to do very quickly because Nikki ElitePrepServices: Mm-hmm. Allison: no not everybody has an attorney on you know speed dial if they can just say hey will you just create this document or you know very quickly and Nikki ElitePrepServices: Mm-hmm. Allison: your background so everybody knows is as well you you go ahead and say it Nikki ElitePrepServices: So I'm a paralegal and a registered document preparer. So in certain states, they recognize that a lot of people need access to legal documents and having things done and not necessarily being able to afford an attorney's fees. So a document preparer essentially is one that will be able to draft the documents and explain the documents and walk you through what the purpose of them are. We just cannot give legal advice when there's anything where people are like, okay, this is My situation, this what sit like case I'm going into, you know, I need legal advice. Nope, sorry, you know, I have a handful of attorneys that I work with, my sister is one, that I would refer to if it comes to that. But when it comes to drafting documents and being able to explain what you're signing, that's pretty much what I can handle for people so that way they understand exactly what documents are needed and the purpose of them. A lot of times people get these big binders, if not big. That are done at law firms and they can't understand a single word of it. And there's Allison: No. Nikki ElitePrepServices: so many times where I'll I'll ask them, okay, what changes do you want to make? And I'm looking at the document and I'm telling them what the document says, and they'll tell me, No, that's not what I wanted. Okay, but you signed it. Like Allison: Mm. Nikki ElitePrepServices: at some point, this must have been what you wanted, and they don't understand how to explain to somebody this is what I wanted, or this is not what was intended to be in here. How are they going to explain to family members these are the documents that I need you to use when that time comes? They can't. So if they Allison: Right. Yeah. Nikki ElitePrepServices: can't understand them and read them, how are they going to expect their family members to understand them and read them? So that's a another big key as well. Allison: look, we have Julie Cook with Generational Transitions. She is with us now. All right, Julie Cook: Hi everyone. Sorry about Allison: I'm glad that you made it. We we were worried about the rain and the traffic because we all know in Florida after those terrible storms that we have. Can leave the roads really slick for us, but we're glad that you're here. And Nikki was just explaining the basics of the binder that she makes, the emergency binder, and also what her qualifications are to prepare the documents and explain the documents for people. But Nikki, what are the if you had to pick like the top three documents in the binder, I what would they be? Like the top three that you would say these are really important. Nikki ElitePrepServices: Hmm. Allison: Yes, all the other stuff Nikki ElitePrepServices: Yeah. Allison: that you mentioned, medications, passwords, bank accounts, all that kind of stuff is super important, obviously. But Nikki ElitePrepServices: Mm-hmm. Allison: having the the documents prepared, what would you say would be the top three? If there are three. Nikki ElitePrepServices: Yeah, the the top ones I would say is of course you want your health care and your power of attorney because those are living documents. That's why the person is alive. Those are the two documents that are going to allow you to make all health care and medical decisions for them if they can no longer communicate. And then also the power of attorney, which is a durable power of attorney that gives them the ability to be able to call the insurance companies, go into the banks, handle all of their affairs, pay their bills, transfer assets if they need to. And then the last one is going to be like I call the umbrella. So depending on what their estate looks like, whether it be a trust or a last will and testament. But either one of those two documents are important because once they've passed away and they don't have anything written and they have assets and beneficiaries are not attached, it's going through probate. And that's ultimately what we want to avoid because you just went through all this turmoil with a medical condition. The last thing you want to do now is have to fight for your family's assets or deal with going through probate court. Allison: Right. and I will say even if you have those said documents, power of attorney, for example, having it, sometimes you call the bank and you say, Well, I've got this document. Like they're not gonna accept the the document like you can't email it to them. I mean you could but it really wouldn't do you any good because they don't know that it's you calling and that you are the person that's on the power of attorney. Like I dealt with this with my mom there and I act the the the actual bank just they actually had a copy of my power of attorney for my mom. at the bank because we gave it to him when we were there in person two years ago. But no, I was still gonna have to go into the bank in person, prove who I was, you Nikki ElitePrepServices: Yep. Allison: know, I get it. But it, you know, just because you have the documents, it doesn't mean that the process is gonna it will make it you know it will simplify it, but it's still gonna be you're still gonna jump through some hoops sometimes. I guess is what I'm trying to say. Nikki ElitePrepServices: Yes, most definitely. Allison: Well, Julie, what kind of documents do you see that people really are very useful or things that would be in a binder like this that are useful when you're dealing with finding housing for, you know, seniors which is what you do. is there something that you look for or that you need or it doesn't matter? Julie Cook: So it really depends on the situation. That power of attorney is is huge. Especially if you have someone who's looking at going into memory care because then we Allison: Mm. Julie Cook: have concerns about what they're remembering, about their cognitive abilities, and most places will ask for a power of attorney in place before they'll let anything be signed because we're having questions about their thought process and we sure don't want them to sign a lease and make all these arrangements if we're concerned about that. So that power of attorney really is big. The other thing, maybe more for assisted living, because a lot of times you'll have Folks there who just need assistance perhaps with physical things but but aren't having memory issues so much is the healthcare surrogate, just somebody to step in and help with health care decisions. So not so much of a full power of attorney, but just someone to help with those health care situations. Those are the two things that I primarily would run into. Allison: so when someone how does somebody reach you, Nikki, when when they wanna talk to you about doing something like this and then what is the process and how long should somebody expect this to take? Nikki ElitePrepServices: So when anybody needs to first start the process, that I have every avenue possible that you can find me. I am l in the process right now. I'm about to hit publish on my new updated website. So all of my socials are on there, my cell phone, my email, you've got my website, you've got my Facebook Messenger, like every way possible you can contact me. And it would just be depending on the situation, somebody would reach out and say, Hey, I need a power of a for my mom, okay, that's nice. I need to talk to mom. I can't just take your word for it because Allison: Mm. Right. Nikki ElitePrepServices: that's not gonna happen. So mom would have to get on the phone with me. We would talk I'd ask mom what she's wanting, what she needs, if she understands what we're talking about, what the document is, what that authority will give the named agent that they are talking about. and if she does then we set up an appointment to actually sit down face to face or via Zoom or FaceTime, whatever is convenient for them to physically see to make sure they are not under duress, to make sure that that these are Allison: Mm. Nikki ElitePrepServices: what their wishes are and that is exactly what they're wanting. They're coherent and they're able to hold a conversation. And then from there we would design the what they're wanting, depending on if it's a full estate plan or if it's just going to be the limited documents. after we we get the design done, then it usually takes a couple of days to about a week and a half, depending on what it is that they're needing. Allison: Got it. And so t these documents need to be notarized. So is that and if they are not close by, then do you do do you ha assign a mobile notary? Do you do an online notary service? Nikki ElitePrepServices: Depending on the state that they're in and what they're needing, yes, certain states will acknowledge an online notary, which I do have my registered online notary, so I'm certified with that. But some states do want actual physical wet signatures and two witnesses, like Florida, wants a notary and two witnesses. So depending on what your state rules are for those specific documents, then we arrange for that to happen so we can get it all done together. better. Allison: Right, so even though right now the three of us are based in the Greater Tampa area, I say Greater Tampa Bay area, so it's you know, Pinellas County, Hillsborough County, Pascoe County. That's that's what I'm talking about. Even if you're not physically in that area, Nikki can still help you do this. And her contact information will be in the description below, also in the pinned comment as well. So if you would like to reach out to her to start this process, ask some questions, please do so. And thank you for watching.